


Pureblood

by breakingfiction



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Dark, Drama, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Romance, Slytherin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:38:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 182,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakingfiction/pseuds/breakingfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had always been confident of my place in the world.</p><p>But as my friends were one by one corrupted by the whispers of a rising terror, I found my world turned upside down.</p><p>Soon, I would be forced to make the decision between sticking by the ones I loved, or fighting for what I believed was right.</p><p>Sirius/OC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Infamous

  
I had always been confident of my place in the world. For six years, my closest friends and I had made a name for ourselves as the most infamous group in the entire school. Though, I can hardly say that it never came without some degree of fear.  
  
We were the ones who students dashed out of the way for in the corridors, for fear of being blasted by a curse. Who the younger kids offered to do homework for, in hopes that they too may be seen as worthy enough to become one of us.  
  
We broke all the rules, and we didn’t care who knew it. Our lust for control drove us to delve into the darker and more secretive side of magic that we all knew held the power that we so badly craved.  
  
_Bullies_ , some called us.  
  
But in our eyes, that‘s not what we were at all. We were the ones with the  _purest_  of magical blood running through our veins. The only ones who were truly supposed to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as the noble Salazar Slytherin had wanted centuries before we were born.  
  
Pure-bloods. The royalty of the magical world. Therefore, it was our right.  
  
Many of the Pure-blood families, though there are now so few, believed in Pure-blood dominance. My one shame was that  _I_  didn’t belong to one of those families.   
  
My own family - descendants of the celebrated Spanish philosopher, Gervasio Cortez - though they are Pure-blooded themselves, had never been too fussed with the topic of blood status. To them, Witches, Wizards and Muggles alike, were all equals.   
  
They are what we called  _blood traitors_  - no better than the disgraceful Muggle-borns themselves. Only myself, Alexandra Cortez, having been sorted into the House of Salazar Slytherin, and taking on the belief that Pure-bloods are indeed superior, had become the  _one_  exception within the Cortez family.  
  
That was what I believed for so long.  
  
It was our last year at Hogwarts, and being part of one of the most prominent groups at, I expected we would have the entire school in the palm of our hands. I had no idea then how wrong I really was. As my friends were one by one corrupted by the whispers of a rising terror, I found my world turned upside down.   
  
Soon, I would be forced to make the terrible decision between sticking by the ones I loved, or fighting for what I believed was right.  
  
  
***  
  
  
I stood on the Platform marked 9 ¾ at Kings Cross station, impatiently awaiting to board the old, scarlet steam engine. The Hogwarts Express.  
  
Thick clouds of pearl-white smoke billowed around the steel frame of the giant, metal beast  and I pulled my trunk behind me up and onto the train, my shoes clicking loudly against the metal grate and then turning into a duller thud as I traipsed onto the carpeted floor of an empty compartment.  
  
I shoved my trunk forcefully into one of the overhead luggage compartments , thoroughly pissed off at having to drag it along behind me all this way, and sunk down into a scarlet cushioned seat with a sigh of relief.  
  
A mere minute later, an equally irritated-looking girl with loose curls of raven-black hair, dropped into the seat across from me and let out a small groan of displeasure. I watched with a growing annoyance as she flicked her wand lazily between her fingers, making the compartment door open and close with a loud thud.  
  
When she began to thump her foot against the side of the seat, I clicked my tongue impatiently.  
  
“Bella, you do realise how annoying that is, right?” I sighed heavily and scooted along the seat a fraction, before stretching my legs out and resting my feet – which were clad in a rather stunning, however non-curricular, pair of black, Italian-leather pumps – on the seat opposite me.  
  
“I’m just so  _bored_ ,” The raven-haired girl complained in her odd, high-pitched voice. “This heap of junk always takes forever to get going.” She let the compartment door slide closed with a loud  _thump_  and proceeded instead to twist a long strand of hair around her thin fingers.  
  
“Patience is a virtue, perhaps you should learn it sometime,” I drawled lazily, earning a swift kick in the knee, which I gracefully ignored. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to leave without your lovely boyfriend, would you? You  _know_  how incapable he is at getting anywhere on time.”  
  
Bellatrix’s thin lips twisted into a knowing smirk, “Unless a Quidditch Pitch is involved, of course.”  
  
I couldn’t help but let my mouth curve upwards into an agreeing smile as I reached back to fix the loose ponytail that my dark hair was currently falling out of. A second later, my head jerked up at the sound of the compartment door being pushed aside roughly.  
  
“Knew you’d be here already,” Evan Rosier greeted the pair of us with his usual, bright smile. It amused me to see he had to duck his head a little to enter the doorway to the small compartment.  
  
He had grown so much this past year.  
  
I watched with a small stab of envy as effortlessly, he stashed his trunk in the overhead compartment before falling into the seat beside me, brushing his sandy-blonde hair back off his face and stretching his long legs out in front of him.  
  
He threw me a handsome grin, and I elbowed him playfully in return. I had always thought that Evan Rosier could quite easily be the most sought-after guy at Hogwarts. His piercing, sapphire eyes coupled with his athletic physique were enough to make most girls go weak at the knees.  
  
The only problem? He’s a Slytherin.  
  
“ _Tardiness will not be tolerated_.” I wagged a finger at him in a, rather unconvincing, impression of our Transfiguration teacher, Professor McGonagall. Evan chuckled lowly, pushing my hand away and rolling his eyes routinely.  
  
It was a rare thing to hear Evan laugh, unless you were in his company of friends. Outside of that, he usually had more of an intimidating scowl plastered on his face. Laughter suited him much more, I thought.  
  
I remembered the Charms class where I had first met Evan in our First Year. It was our first day of classes, and although I was excited, I couldn’t hold down the nervousness that was settling in my stomach. Evan had taken it upon himself to steal the seat beside mine, and he decided then that we would be friends, much to my surprise.  
  
He was quick-witted and bright, and he spent the whole lesson making me laugh while simultaneously getting on Bellatrix’s nerves, which amused me even more.  
  
Rodolphus Lestrange, who had bustled into the compartment soon after Evan, took the window seat beside Bellatrix, slinging a casual arm around her petite shoulders and inclining his head to me in greeting. Bellatrix, who hadn’t seen Rodolphus for the past couple of days was visibly trying her hardest not to jump up and down in her seat.  
  
“Rod, I’ve  _missed_  you!” she cooed, fussing herself with Rodolphus’ shaggy, chestnut-brown hair, which he obviously hadn’t bothered to comb that morning as it was sticking out in every direction.  
  
He uttered a small groan of displeasure before sinking down into his seat a little more and letting his eyes close shut.  
  
Rodolphus had always been a rather laid-back, go with the flow guy. Quidditch, food, and Bellatrix were pretty much his whole life. In fact, I’m pretty certain that if any these things didn’t exist, he would never have come to Hogwarts for his seventh year at all.  
  
He wasn’t all that fussed with academics. Not that he didn’t do well in his classes – there was always some over-eager fifth year hanging around to help with that.  
  
I heard Evan snicker quietly at the scene. He was always giving Rodolphus a hard time about how Bellatrix fussed about him so much, he found it nothing short of hilarious.  
  
Rodolphus, on the other hand, did not.  
  
Evans eyes caught mine briefly, and at that moment, neither of us could help but burst out laughing. Rodolphus’ glared at the pair of us darkly, through eyes the colour of amber.   
  
“ _What_  are you laughing at?” Bellatrix demanded as she whipped around in her seat, her own dark eyes piercing.  
  
“Nothing,” Evan replied smoothly, barely managing to wipe the grin of his face and tilted his chin upwards in feigned indifference.  
  
“Please, carry on.”   
  
This answer apparently suited Bellatrix, who turned her attention right back to Rodolphus and his less then suitable appearance.  
  
Sometime during the commotion, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy were the last to enter the compartment. Severus firmly nudged my feet off the seat they were resting on and sat himself down across from me, pulling an old, shabby grey coat around him tightly.  
  
“Oh, I’ve  _missed_  you Sev!” I gushed, mocking Bellatrix’s earlier outburst. Bellatrix, who was still too occupied with Rodolphus’ hair, which evidently could not be tamed, thankfully hadn’t noticed.  
  
She would have been in a sour mood with me the entire trip back to Hogwarts if she had.  
  
Severus let out only a small murmur in response, but I could spot the makings of a suppressed grin peeking out from behind his black curtain of hair.   
  
“I saw that smile, Sev, I know you missed me,” I teased, while nudging his knee gently with my foot, to which he protested by swatting it away lightly.  
  
He pushed his dark hair away from his black eyes and examined me, over his long nose.  
  
“My summer certainly was dull without you, Alex, I’ll tell you that much,” He answered, before rummaging around in an old, beat up leather bag that was propped on the seat beside him.  
  
He pulled a thick, leather bound book out of the bag – who’s cover was so worn with use that the title was no longer visible.  
  
I, however, had an inkling of what he might be reading, and I shook my head in amusement.  
  
Severus had always had an open fascination with the Dark Arts, much to the concern of some of our Professors. He had never been much of a talker, but he was an exceptionally bright guy.  
  
I smiled to myself as I thought of how Severus and I had first become friends. He had kind of fallen into our group by accident, I suppose. In our first year, when the awe of Hogwarts had worn off and the new students had made their friends and stuck to them, Severus was still the outcast.  
  
One day, Evan and I had come across Severus being teased by a couple of older Gryffindor students in the second floor corridors. They were making fun of him for his second hand robes and shooting Stinging Curses at his feet.  
  
We didn’t know much about the guy, but he was one of our own House, and after we were finished with those moronic Gryffindors, they couldn’t hear for a week after that.  
  
Since then, Severus had always been one of my favourite people in the whole world. I admired his individuality, and the way he didn’t care about what people thought of him –  most unlike all the other Slytherins we were surrounded by, who would give their left leg to become the most famous Witch or Wizard in all of England.   
  
I guess because Severus is the only half-blood in our little gang, he doesn’t seem to care so much how people perceive him. But to this day, although he mostly keeps to himself, he’s often the target of much taunting.  
  
From  _one_  group of idiots in particular.  
  
I’d never hesitate to stick up for him in any of these situations, and I know he’d do the same for me in a heartbeat.  
  
“What’s on your mind, love?” A silky voice came from beside me, stirring me from my thoughts.  
  
Lucius Malfoy, my boyfriend, had taken a seat next to me, and was surveying me through eyes as pale as ice, his blonde eyebrows raised questioningly.  
  
“I  _sincerely_  hope you’re not thinking about anyone other than me, Alexandra.” He added sternly, but I could see the faint hint of a smile playing on his thin lips.  
  
I sighed at the sound of him using my full name. All my friends had always just called me Alex, with the one exception being Lucius Malfoy. He, for some strange reason that I will never know, preferred to call me by my full name, no matter how many times I’d asked him not to.  
  
“Wouldn’t  _you_  like to know,” I teased, and he smiled at me slightly in return.   
  
I shook my head in amusement. Lucius was always so _serious_. Perhaps that’s why we never got along with each other when we first met. Rodolphus and Evan were mutual friends of ours when we were younger, and for the first couple of years at Hogwarts, they were the only thing that brought us together.  
  
I was playful, I liked to joke around, even if my humour was considerably darker than most. I had always tried to lighten Lucius up, much to his annoyance.  
  
But there had always been something about him that intrigued me. Something that I couldn't quite ignore.  
  
Eventually, however, we began to understand each other – and now, I don’t know how I ever lived without him by my side.  
  
It wasn’t long before the boys had steered the conversation towards Quidditch, and Lucius asked Evan about who he thought might make the Slytherin team this year.  
  
Evan was a Beater on the team, as was Rodolphus. Lucius played Keeper, and since the Captain of the Slytherin team had now graduated Hogwarts, he was hoping to fill the position.   
  
These boys were  _very_  serious about Quidditch, especially when they were matched against the Gryffindor house team. I wasn’t really into Quidditch myself, but I still liked to watch the games to support our boys, and not to mention join in the pre-game tradition of trying to take down as many of the other teams’ players as we could before the match.  
  
I gazed past Lucius, and out the window beside him. Puffs of pearly smoke were beginning to float by, which could only mean one thing. We were finally about to leave for Hogwarts. A second later, the train lurched forward, confirming my thoughts.   
  
With a screech of metal, the compartment door slid open once more, revealing a familiar shaggy haired boy.  
  
  
“Lucky I made the train! Blasted a couple of Gryffindors on the way here – should see what their robes look like now! Bloody good one if I do say so myself,” a howl of laughter escaped the lips of Rabastan Lestrange, who clapped his hand on Rodolphus’ shoulder and pushed his way onto the seat next to him.  
  
Rodolphus raised his eyebrows at his younger brother impatiently – we were all too used to this.  
  
Although Rabastan looked like a miniature version of his older brother, unlike Rodolphus’ quiet demeanour, he was a real talker. Merlin, did that kid have a motor mouth on him – sometimes it was  _impossible_ to get him to shut up.   
  
He also likes to think of himself as a bit of a ladies’ man. I don’t think he seems to realise that when he tries to chat up a seventh year girl, she doesn’t actually take him seriously. But there’s no telling Rabastan that, you’d be better off reasoning with a parrot.  
  
Merlin knows he  _talks_  as much as one.  
  
Rabastan started poking at Rod’s arm with his fist, playfully provoking a fight. Rod, however, simply looked annoyed and attempted to brush off his attacks, failing horribly until Regulus Black stepped into the compartment and aided Rod by grabbing at Rabastans hand and then slapping him against the side of the head lightly.  
  
“Merlin, Rab, it’s only the first day back and already you’re acting like a complete, and utter Doxy,” Regulus scolded his best friend, only barely managing to keep an amused grin off his face.  
  
Evan shifted over and made room for Regulus to squeeze in between the two of us, and I greeted the dark-haired boy with a quick hug.  
  
“Have you been drinking Skele-Gro over summer, or what? You’ll be taller than Rod soon,” I teased as Regulus settled on the seat next to me and dismissed the joke with a light laugh and the wave of his hand.  
  
Regulus Black was Bellatrix’s younger cousin, and also – unfortunately for him – the younger brother of the biggest idiot who has ever attended Hogwarts.  
  
Apart from bearing an  _unfortunate_  resemblance to his older brother (Not that I’m saying that he’s bad looking, because he’s actually not at all, it’s more the fact that I  _despise_  his brother) he’s actually a rather sweet guy.  
  
He’s insanely intelligent too. Regulus had always done well in all his subjects, much to the delight of Rabastan, who, and I say this with love, needs all the help he can get.  
  
A small blonde-haired girl peeked her head into the compartment before entering cautiously, closing the door behind her softly.  
  
This intrusion was obviously the last straw for Bellatrix, who huffed loudly and stomped her foot on the ground.  
  
“Merlin, Cissy! Can’t you see there’s no room left in here?” Bellatrix turned her attention to the new arrival.  
  
“There’s no reason why you three can’t go and sit with people your own age instead of tagging along after us all the time.”  
  
Narcissa Black rolled her eyes impatiently at her older sister’s dramatics, and upon finding there were no seats left, sat herself down cross legged on the floor in front of her sisters feet.   
  
“Everywhere else is  _full_ , Bella.” Narcissa countered softly, and Bellatrix sighed loudly.  
  
I gave Narcissa a welcoming smile. When it came to looks, she was the complete opposite of her sister, Bellatrix. She had long, straight blonde hair which she always pulled back into a ponytail. She also had very light blue eyes, almost the same as my own.  
  
Also, unlike Bellatrix, she was as calm as you could get, always soft-spoken and patient. All in all, she was a good kid  
  
“Play nice for once, won’t you Bella?” I teased, earning a spiteful glare from my best friend.  
  
“Well, where’s your trunk then?” Bellatrix demanded, and Narcissa shrugged her slim shoulders lightly.  
  
“Out in the hall – there’s a bunch of kids still stuck out there.”  
  
Evan pushed himself up from the seat, “I’ll get it.”  
  
To break the tense silence that had fallen over the compartment, Rabastan thought it was a good idea to tell us his story about the gnome in his garden, which had bitten his ankle over the summer holidays.  
  
“There was a  _huge_  gash right along my ankle – and there was blood everywhere! I thought for sure I was going to have to go to St. Mungos, maybe even get it amputated, who knows really,” He went on, using his usual oversized gestures to emphasize his story just that little bit more.  
  
“Lucky I remembered one of those healing charms Professor Flitwick taught us last year!” he cried out, chuckling to himself lowly.  
  
Lucius winced beside me at the sudden outburst. He had never really had a lot of patience for Rabastan and his far-fetched stories. I didn’t blame him to be honest, they  _were_  quite ridiculous.  
  
“ _Merlin_ , it was a tiny bite. And you didn’t do anything to help it. While you were rolling around on the ground whining about how your foot was going to fall off, Mum was the one who healed it.” Rodolphus snapped at his brother, who ceased laughing immediately and turned a bright shade of red.  
  
Regulus and I sniggered quietly.  
  
I looked back out the window again, watching the dry, summer fields and hills as we passed by – it would be a little over three hours before we arrived at Hogwarts. I leaned my head against Lucius’ shoulder and yawned loudly before closing my eyes, attempting to tune out Rabastans new story about the “vampire” next door, and after a while, drifted off to sleep.  
    
  
***  
  
  
**_A/N:_** _Hey everyone, what do you think of this new story? I know that according to their birthdates some of the characters are supposed to be different ages but, well, for this story we're just going to pretend that's how old they are okay? I'd love if you could review and tell me what you think!_


	2. Sweet Revenge

“Alex. Alex?  _Wake up._ ”    
  
I groaned as I was rudely awoken by someone roughly shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes lazily, rubbing the sleep from them before glaring darkly at the raven-haired girl standing over me.  
  
Bellatrix raised her thin eyebrows at me in amusement, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.  
  
“Was that really necessary?” I drawled sleepily. Bellatrix tossed a bundle of black and emerald clothes into my lap, which exploded into a mess of fabric over my outstretched legs.  
  
“Remember last year when we showed up to the Great Hall in our jeans? McGonagall almost blew her top,” Bella answered as she collected her own robes from her trunk.  
  
“I don’t know about you but I’d rather spend our first night back at this sorry excuse for a school with my boyfriend then in detention,” She added, motioning for me to hurry up.  
  
I stretched my arms above my head, yawning loudly before inspecting the robes that my so-called best friend has tossed into my lap. I grimaced, remembering that they had been neatly folded before she had come along and decided to be all matronly.  
  
Tart.   
  
“Since when did you start caring about what we  _need_  to do?” I teased the raven-haired girl and was met with a silent glare in return.  
  
I gathered my robes into a messy ball, before noticing that Lucius was no longer beside me - or in the compartment at all for that matter. I had been snoozing beside the window in the seat he had previously occupied, and until now had been lazily slumped against the side of the compartment.   
  
I glanced out the window and saw the sky was beginning to turn a dark midnight-blue, which could only mean that we would soon be arriving at Hogwarts. I stretched my arms out once more before straightening up and surveying the compartment.  
  
Severus still had his nose in his book, though was now wearing a faded pair of Slytherin robes that looked at least two sizes too small for him.   
  
Rodolphus was also wearing his school robes and was currently dozing lightly in his seat, his large arms folded and his chin resting against his chest, rising up and down with his shallow breath.   
  
Evan was nowhere to be seen – no doubt he was wherever Lucius was.  
  
Last of all I spotted Narcissa sitting alone, staring out the window silently and twisting the ends of her long, blonde ponytail around her finger thoughtfully. A habit she shared with her older sister.  
  
Still half-dazed I got to my feet and brushed past Bellatrix who was waiting for me in the doorway impatiently.  
  
“Get a move on then,” I snickered, earning a low growl from the girl as we shuffled out into the hallway.  
  
Narcissa had certainly been right when she had mentioned there were still a fair few students stuck out in the hallway, mostly First and Second years by the looks of them. To add to that, other students were hurrying between their compartments and the bathrooms, and I scoffed loudly as they inched their way around the two of us.  
  
Trust everyone else to leave getting changed to the last minute, as well.  
  
Bellatrix and I made our way through the crowds, pushing people out of the way as needed. Thankfully, however, most students automatically made room for us as we approached – either throwing themselves against the walls or diving into a nearby compartment.  All of them looking completely ridiculous as they did so.  
  
I had just elbowed a small, red-haired boy out of the way, becoming increasingly more flustered at the amount of people surrounding me, when we stumbled upon a small group of first years who were huddled in the corridor, each sitting on a large trunk and decreasing the traffic flow at an alarming rate.   
  
Obviously no one had been willing to accommodate them in their compartment, and I couldn’t blame them really – they  _were_  a rather pitiful looking bunch.  
  
Bella, as per usual barged through the group mercilessly, taking extra care to swing her robes around a little harder and rough the poor sods up a bit.  
  
I followed suit, cursing the little buggers as I tip-toed over the mess they had created in my path. I had just about made it past too, until the heel of one of my pumps caught itself on the handle of the last trunk. I let out a shriek of alarm as I stumbled face first, saved just in time from hitting the ground as I fell into the arms of an oncoming student.  
  
  
Unfortunately, upon glancing up to find out who said student was, I found myself staring face to face with an awfully smug looking, dark-haired boy.   
   
And then had the pleasure of discovering that mere inches away, my best friend had had the horrible luck of running into yet another.  
  
I groaned inwardly at the sight of them staring down at us both – as they were considerably taller than the two of us – stupid grins spread across their equally stupid faces. A familiar rush of heated anger started coursing through my veins at the mere sight of them.  
  
I ignored the fervent whispers of nearby students, many of whom dashed back to their compartments at once, knowing all too well what was likely to happen next. Some of the more curious students hung back, cautiously watching the scene, yet ready to bolt at any time if things turned nasty.  
  
“Well, well. Looks like we failed to run the snakes out of school last year, Prongs,” Sirius Black, whose arms I had just disentangled myself from in disgust, sneered down at me.   
  
His grey eyes glinted with a familiar maliciousness and I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming at him, because I knew that look only too well.   
  
It was the way he looked when he was out to cause trouble.   
   
It was the look he saved especially for the times he was lucky enough to run into me.   
  
Oh, how special I felt.   
  
 _Not_.   
  
“Get out of our way, Black!” Bellatrix ordered sharply, her dark eyes burning with a hatred that few people in the world could ignite in her.   
  
Because like myself, there was no-one that Bella detested more in the world than Sirius Black.   
  
Except perhaps his equally despicable best friend, James Potter, who was also standing in front of us with his arms folded across his chest in such an infuriating manner, that I wanted to curse them right off of his body.  
  
Sirius’ chin briefly tilted in Bella’s direction, and he smirked.  
  
“What’s the magic word, dear cousin?” He drawled in reply, knowing full well how much Bella’s blood boiled whenever he called her that.  
  
It wouldn’t be too difficult for the average person to identify them as relatives, mind you. They both had their family’s trademark good looks – strong, handsome features, and hair that was blacker then night. The only difference between them was their eyes. Sirius’ were as light as Bella’s were dark.  
  
“How  _dare_  you call me that, you filthy blood traitor!” Bella spat in disgust, her face twisting into an expression of utter repulsion.  
  
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was no happy family.  
  
Sirius Black was what was called a blood traitor – a Pure-blooded Wizard who insisted on mingling with the lower Wizarding folk.   
  
Exhibit A being the mangy pack of misfits he called 'friends'.  
  
At the end of last year Sirius left home in a rage. The story has it, that he was spitting some rubbish about how he didn’t agree with his parents views on the necessary purity of the Wizarding race. His parents, Walburga and Orion Black were so ashamed of him. Needless to say, they no longer regarded him as a son of theirs.   
  
Not a big loss, in my opinion.   
  
“Charming, isn’t she?” James joined the argument smoothly, ruffling his already scruffy, black hair as he did so – to a point so ridiculous that it looked like some living creature might have lived in the mess.  
  
“It’s hard to believe she comes from the same gene pool as you, Padfoot,” He addressed Sirius with a dark grin, fuelling Bellatrix’s anger even more.  
  
I sucked in a deep breath of air as I watched her dark eyes flash with rage, and knew that we were heading down a dark path.  
  
“Stay out of it, Potter,” she warned, her breath escaping in small, ragged gasps. By this point she was livid, her hands clenched themselves into small fists by her side, readying herself for a fight.  
  
James raised his eyebrows, looking nothing less than amused by her fury, “Now, now, Black. That’s no way to speak to your Head Boy,”  
  
A disgusted look spread itself across Bella’s face as she shrieked , her curls falling around hr shoulders wildly as she did so, “ _You_  got Head Boy? Who in their right mind would make a  _prat_  like you Head Boy?”   
  
James grinned broadly, ignoring the insult, “It seems Dumbledore thinks I’m an able candidate for the job. So this year, if you or any of your little friends cause us any trouble,” He continued by pointing as me in what I assumed was supposed to be a threatening fashion, “it’s completely in my power to punish you for it. In fact, I think I’ll take fifty points from Slytherin right now. What a way to start the year, don’t you agree, Padfoot?”   
  
Sirius folded his arms across his chest and smiled down at me smugly. “It is indeed, Prongs. We’re going to have _so_ much fun with this new position of power you’ve been so generously awarded,”   
  
I glared at Sirius darkly, taking in a sharp breath. I’d had enough of keeping quiet – if they insisted on playing dirty, I would show them just how good I was at that game.  
  
It was time the tables were turned.  
  
“So, how are things going with that Mud-blood, Evans?” I smirked at Sirius before turning to speak to James with mock sweetness, “Last I heard she had started dating that Ravenclaw guy – oh, what was his name? You know? The  _really_  good-looking one,”   
  
I felt a wonderful sense of triumph flow through me as James’ expression became more and more twisted with every word and I couldn’t help but let out a low snicker of amusement.  
  
“Oh, I know the one you‘re talking about. He’s  _really_  smart too,” Bella added with a twisted grin as she now played along with my taunt, “I heard he got top scores in all his O.W.Ls last year,”   
  
“Wow, that’s impressive!” I replied, feigning amazement. “Oh, now I remember - Xavier Stone,” I shook my head in mock sympathy, “But it’s no surprise that you didn‘t get the girl, yet again. Better luck next time, eh Potter?”   
  
Now it was James’ turn to look furious. Everyone knew the guy was head-over-heels in love with the schools resident goody-two-shoes, Lily Evans, who apparently didn’t share the same affection for him as he did for her. She was also a Muggle-born Witch, or  _Mud-blood_  as we liked to so affectionately refer to her. So whenever the words ‘Evans’ and ‘Mud-blood’ came out of my mouth in the same sentence, I was more than likely to end up in the Hospital Wing.   
  
The theory was proved true as I found two wands pointed directly at my face with two furious looking owners standing right behind them.  
  
“Hit a nerve, did I boys?” I laughed softly, though rather half-heartedly at the thought of the pain I knew was coming to me.  
  
I reminded myself quietly that it was worth it.  
  
The looks on their faces sent tiny sparks of triumph coursing through me, and I smirked in delight as I thought of the damage that Lucius, Evan and Rodolphus would cause if they ever lay a finger on me – or in this case, curse.   
   
Yep, totally worth it.  
  
Bellatrix had whipped her own wand out of her pocket and was pointing it at the boys threateningly, her dark eyes madly darting between the two boys. I hadn’t bothered to expose my own wand. To arm myself with one would only show I was scared of the pair of idiots standing in front of me – which I most definitely was not.   
  
It was either very brave or very foolish of me.   
  
Probably both.   
  
Bella cackled excitedly at the scene. As beautiful as she was, she had always looked like a total maniac when she laughed.   
  
“I’ve warned you a  _million_  times,” James began slowly, through gritted teeth. His eyes, at that point mere slits of hazel, were glaring daggers at me from behind his black-framed glasses. His fury was evident by the shaking of his voice, “ _Don’t_  call Evans a mud-blood!” he roared, looking very much on the edge of a nervous breakdown.  
  
I merely stood there, rolling my eyes at the exaggeration.   
  
“Okay, first of all you haven’t told me a  _million_ times. More like…” I started counting on my fingers dramatically but quickly lost track, “Fifty times. And second of all,” I smirked before I spoke, mentally preparing myself for the attack that was about to come.  
  
“Evans  _is_  a Mud-blood.”   
  
With two loud cries and a flash of blue light I hit the floor  _hard_  – my head roughly hitting the side of a nearby compartment door as I did so. Instantly my hand flew to the spot on my head I had hit, and I felt something wet and sticky tangled in my hair. I pulled my hand away and examined it to find it was covered in splotches of scarlet blood.   
  
By now I was completely, and utterly livid. It was one thing for those boys to curse me, but it was another  _entirely_  to spill my blood.   
  
I pushed myself to my feet uneasily, steadying myself before marching right back over to where I was standing before I was blasted by their damn curses, only to find a much changed scene playing out in front of me. James was running around in circles, frantically grabbing at his arms and face.   
  
By the looks of things, Bella had cast a pretty nice  _Furnunculus_ curse, causing painful boils to break out all over his skin.   
  
I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. As disgusting as he looked, it was hilarious to see him freaking out like a Hippogriff with its tail on fire.  
  
The next thing I saw was Bellatrix and Sirius standing face to face, their wands drawn and pointed at each other’s throats. Sirius drew his arm back in a motion suggesting he was preparing to cast a curse, but before he had the chance I shouted “ _Sectumsempra_!” – a handy little spell that Severus had shown me last year, but one I knew would get me into  _a lot_  of trouble.   
  
In that moment however, I didn’t care. The urge to get Sirius Black back for the gash he had inflicted on my head was much too strong to resist.  
  
My curse hit Sirius on his right arm, the same one he was holding his wand with – which had immediately fell to the floor, closely followed by Sirius himself as he dropped to his knees, clutching his arm and letting out a low groan of pain. A dark patch of blood had already began to seep through the thick fabric of his Gryffindor robes, and  by that fact alone I could tell that the damage was bad.  
  
“What the  _fuck_  was that!” Sirius cried while rolling the sleeve of his robe up to his elbow, revealing a large, bloody gash running up the length of his arm. The few people who were still standing around watching gasped in utter horror. I however, bit my lip as I stifled the urge to grin in delight.  
  
That was until an all too familiar, authorative voice rung down the hallway and I glanced at Bellatrix, who’s face had dropped from glee into minor panic.  
  
“What's going on here?” Lily Evans all but shrieked as she pushed her way through a group of people who were blocking her view of the scene. Soon enough her fiery mane of red hair was visible as she stormed in, her shoulders angrily hunched over like a banshee.   
  
Immediately she rounded on James, who had hastily turned to study the wall, conveniently hiding his boil-covered face from the furious girl.  
  
“Potter! What’s happened?” Lily demanded, earning nothing but silence from the boy she was confronting.  
  
“James Henry Potter! Will you look at me while I’m speaking to you,” she ordered once more, in a tone I thought sounded a great deal like Professor McGonagalls.   
  
“No! I don’t want you to see me like this,” James replied pitifully, attempting to cover the unattractive boils with his hands. In an instant, Lily had ripped his hands away from his face and spun him around to face her. Her emerald green eyes widened in shock and I laughed quietly at the disgusted look that had spread upon her face.  
  
“A  _Furnunculus_  curse,” She stated bluntly after surveying the boils “It’s nothing too bad. Though you will need to go to the Hospital Wing as soon as we get to Hogwarts to get that cleared up.“   
  
James nodded sulkily in reply before shooting a dark glare at Bellatrix.   
  
Next, Lily turned her attention to Sirius, who was still on the ground groaning in pain dramatically. She kneeled down beside him to examine the wound on his arm, her eyes widening in shock once more as she inspected it.  
  
“Merlin, I’ve never...  _never_  seen anything like this before. This looks like Dark Magic, I don’t think a simple healing charm will fix it,” she stated as she ripped off some of the material from the bottom of Sirius’ robe and tied it tightly around his arm to stop the blood flow.  
  
“You’ll have to get Madame Mellick to have a look at this,” she ordered whilst shaking her head in confusion, “ _Who_  on earth did this?”   
  
Sirius, using his un-injured arm, pointed directly at me, and I glared at him through slits if icy-blue while pulling a rude hand gesture in reply.  
  
“I should’ve known,” Lily scowled darkly as she cornered me, “What spell did you use on him?” she demanded, her bright hair spilling over her shoulders madly as she did so.  
  
I laughed lightly in reply, “Just a little something I learnt off a friend of mine,”  
  
“That spell is  _dangerous,_ ” Lily growled. “You could’ve seriously hurt him,”   
  
“You really think I care?” I questioned her furiously, before pointing a slim, accusing finger in Sirius’ direction. “Believe me, the world would be a much better place without scum like Sirius Black inhabiting it,”   
  
Lily was visibly taken back by my remark, but composed herself almost immediately. “I will be reporting this to your Head of House immediately when we arrive at Hogwarts.”   
  
I laughed openly at the remark, knowing that if it was only Professor Slughorn I had to deal with, I’d get off lightly.   
  
“Be my guest,” I replied sweetly, intending at once to turn around and march straight back to our compartment.   
  
That was of course, before  _she_  came.   
  
*** 


	3. The Lion and The Snake

"Lils? Why’d you take off like…   _Merlin_! Sirius – sweetie, what  _happened_  to you?”   
  
I should have seen it coming. Wherever Lily Evans goes, her twit of a best friend is usually three steps behind. So it makes perfect sense that she’d come bustling down the corridor, looking very much like she owned the place, and swoop immediately to Sirius' side like a bird to its nest.  
  
But seeing as how she was firstly occupied with the job of tending to ‘poor, sweet Sirius’, it should have been no problem to slip away unnoticed.  
  
  
I made a brief head gesture to Bella who, immediately understanding its meaning, started ever so slowly to back away from the scene. I followed suit, never for a second taking my eyes off the hysterical mess that had clung herself onto Sirius’ uninjured arm, demanding an explanation for why he was injured in the first place.  
  
“Ouuuuch!”   
  
We were  _so_  close – a couple more steps and we would’ve been home-free. But that’s not exactly how the situation played out.  
  
Bella, it seems, had accidentally stepped on the toe of a nearby Hufflepuff boy who had stuck around to watch our recent confrontation. Apparently this had hurt the poor little fellow so much that he thought it appropriate to let out the biggest, loudest yelp that his small lungs could muster, consequently turning every head in our direction.   
  
I let out a low growl and rounded on the boy. He was young – a second year I guessed. I was spared, however, by cursing the little dimwit, as Bella had shoved him not so nicely into the nearest wall, causing his little eyes to fill up with tears before he dashed off down the corridor. I couldn’t help but smile a little in satisfaction.   
  
“ _You_!”  
   
 _Oh, now I remember._  
  
Reluctantly, I turned to face the girl who was stalking towards me angrily, finding it somewhat like staring into a mirror – except for a few minor differences. The ‘reflection’ had shoulder-length black hair which flicked out absurdly at the bottom, as well as a slightly longer nose and fuller mouth. Oh, and one more thing - she was a complete, and utter  _mental case_.   
  
“You did that to Sirius, didn’t you? Do you have  _no_  self-control? Oh wait a minute, we all know you  _don’t_!” The girl screeched, forcing me to rub my left temple gently in an attempt to steer off the oncoming migraine that I knew the mere sound of her voice was bound to cause.   
  
“You know you’re a total psycho, right?”   
  
If you haven’t already guessed, the abuse I was receiving was coming from my ghastly twin sister, Serenity Cortez.   
  
Gryffindor. Bimbo.  _Nut-Case_. Just a few words I often used to describe her. Unlike most twins I knew who seemed to be sewn together at the hips, Serenity and I could not be more different.  
   
We  _hated_  each other’s guts, to put it simply. She was the prissy and popular Gryffindor. And I was the arrogant and bitchy Slytherin. Not hard to figure out who everyone deemed the ‘evil twin’.  
  
And although it might seem like it, Serenity is  _not_  Sirius Blacks girlfriend. Although she is unmistakably obsessed with the boy. It’s quite pathetic really, but what makes the situation truly hilarious is that Sirius seems to have no interest in her whatsoever.   
  
As funny as that is though, I never really understood why. I mean, this is Sirius Black – the most notorious “man-whore” at Hogwarts since, well, _ever_. He’s never dismissed any girl who’s ever thrown herself at him.  
  
Well, not the good-looking ones anyway – and Serenity isn’t exactly a  _troll_. She’s my sister for Merlin’s sake, so she’s got to be at least half-decent.   
  
But seeing her constantly pushed away from Sirius is surely a lot more entertaining than seeing her sucking face with him could ever be. Unless of course they weren’t sucking face by choice but more because a certain binding spell had forced them to do so – now  _that_  would be entertaining.   
  
“Are you even  _listening_  to me?” I was rudely forced back to reality by Serenity snarling at me, her hands placed on her hips in a rather dramatic fashion. Her eyes, which were identical to my own blue ones, were full of despise as she glared at me.   
  
I stared right back at her, my own eyes emotionless. “Why exactly would I want to listen to a voice that sounds like fingernails scratching on a blackboard?” I answered tonelessly, not exactly expecting an answer – well, not an intelligent one anyway.   
  
Serenity then proceeded to shriek profoundly at me. “I  _hate_  you! And I’m glad you decided to disown our family, you  _selfish_  pig. You can rot in Azkaban for the rest of your life as far as I care,” at this point she pointed a long, perfectly manicured finger in my face.  
  
”You know what? I’m going to-”   
  
But I never found out what it was Serenity was going to do as I had lazily flicked my wand in her direction and cast a non-verbal silence spell on her. Pretty clever of me, I thought.   
  
“Shut it, Serenity.” I snapped, thoroughly pissed off with her constant dramatics. Serenity tried to reply, but even though her mouth was moving, no sound came out of it.   
  
She turned to Lily, making frantic hand gestures at the red-head in an attempt for help. I didn’t stay around to find out what happened next, though no doubt Little Miss Two-Shoes removed the spell off Serenity. I stalked back in the direction of our compartment, Bella following behind me closely.  
  
Vaguely, I found myself thinking about what it was Serenity was going to say before my silence spell cut her off. No doubt something pathetic like talking my parents into cutting me out of their will. Not that I cared if they did – I wasn’t exactly on the best terms with my parents these days –  I hadn’t spoken to them in a little over a year.   
  
They had tried to contact me, but personally I don’t want anything to do with a pair of blood traitors like them. Both of my parents are Pure-blooded, as well as Serenity. However, they’ve never been too fussed with the topic of blood status.  
   
They all seem to believe in a ridiculous thing called “Equality” – that all Witches and Wizards are equal, and that blood status has no importance.  _Disgraceful_. Any person who wants to mingle with filthy mud-bloods and Muggles is no relative of mine.   
  
On our first day of Hogwarts, when Serenity was sorted into Gryffindor, and I into Slytherin, my parents were overjoyed. Which house we were sorted into was of little concern to them – although my mother did express a subtle worry about some of the students who I would be in close proximity with, being a Slytherin.   
  
Her concerns soon became more prominent when I made friends with the type of people who her and my Father deemed the “wrong crowd”. They especially frowned upon my friendship with Bellatrix, knowing all too well the kind of family she came from. Although they were polite and friendly when they met her, they didn’t hesitate to share their concerns when she wasn’t around.  
  
I wouldn’t hear a word of it.   
  
During the summer before my sixth year, my mother and I had had a particularly nasty fight. She had started one of her usual rants about how she would prefer if I made some slightly more _humane_ friends. I had politely told her that the people I called friends were far more worthy then all the filth that made up the rest of Hogwarts, put together –  including Albus Dumbledore.   
  
Well, that had really done it. My parents are avid supporters of Dumbledore and his “Equality for all Witches and Wizards Alike” trash. My mother informed me that if she didn’t see some changes in my attitude, she would pull me out of Hogwarts, so I couldn’t mingle with those “awful people” as she liked to call them, and ship me off to Beauxbatons. Things had gotten pretty heated by then, and I said a few words I don’t wish to repeat.   
  
I made the decision right then and there that I would no longer be associated with those blood traitors, and after packing my bags, headed off to Bellatrixs’ home where I’ve been spending my holidays ever since. Bella’s family is now as good as my own.   
  
I entered our compartment to find there was no sign of Regulus, Rabastan or Narcissa. Lucius and Evan had returned and were quietly talking to Severus, who had put his book to the side. However, they immediately stopped the moment I entered.  
  
I eyed the three of them suspiciously before taking my place next to Lucius. Bella entered after me and slammed the door behind her moodily, then dropped down next to Rodolphus, causing him to wake from his slumber.   
  
“Where’d you disappear to earlier?” I asked Lucius, trying to sound casual but still a little suspicious as to what the boys had been discussing. If it had been any normal topic of conversation, such as Quidditch or Hogwarts, they would have kept on chatting away during my presence. Something seemed to be off.   
  
“I just had some… business to take care of.” Lucius replied coolly, but as I watched his face I saw him shoot a look at both Evan and Severus which I could’ve sworn had meant “ _Keep your mouths shut._ ”  
  
I shrugged it off – Lucius tended to get snappy whenever I pressed on about certain things. Besides, if it was anything  _terribly_  important then Evan would no doubt inform me later.  
  
“What happened with you two anyway? I thought you went to get changed.” Lucius said as he looked over what I was wearing. Dark blue skinny jeans and a white, cotton tank. After our run in with the Gryffindors I had completely forgotten about changing into my robes.   
  
“We had the misfortune of running into Black and his sidekick.” I replied bitterly, slumping back in my seat. I don’t know whether it was the tone of my voice or just the fact that a meeting between Sirius and I always ended in trouble, but Lucius stiffened considerably before speaking.  
   
“What did he do?”   
   
“More like what did  _Alex_  do.” Bella cackled, causing the corners of my lips to curve upwards into a small smile as I remembered the look on Sirius’ face the moment my curse had hit him.   
  
“Oh?” Lucius raised his eyebrows “Well what did  _you_  do then, love?” he asked, clearly amused.   
  
“I used your curse, Sev,” I sat forward and grinned at Severus who was sitting across from me. “ _Sectumsempra_. On Sirius Black.”   
  
A small smile crept onto Severus’ lips as he pushed his hair back off his face and he asked eagerly, “Where’d you get him?”   
  
I shrugged and slumped back in my seat once again. “In the arm. I considered aiming for his face but, well, you know how Mr Pretty-Boy Black is, he’d be off crying to Dumbledore faster than you can say Salazar and I’d no doubt be tossed out on my sorry, Slytherin arse.”   
  
“You  _know_  he’ll go crying to Dumbledore anyway.” Evan stated with a sneer.   
  
“Well, if he does that I’ll just say I was acting in self-defence. He and that half-wit, Potter, did attack me first after all.” I replied, a grin spread across my face as I waited for the outburst that was sure to come.   
  
“They  _what_!” Lucius, Evan and Severus all erupted simultaneously. Rodolphus, who had obviously not found our conversation exhilarating enough to stay awake, was once again woken abruptly.   
  
“What  _exactly_  did they do?” Lucius scowled.  
  
"They hexed me. I called Evans a mud-blood again so they seemed to think that was enough reason to send me flying down the corridor.” I replied, noticing Severus stiffen somewhat, but ignoring it.  
  
“Look at this.” I showed them the cut on my head from where I had hit the wall – the blood around it had begun to dry and was matted in my hair. It wasn’t a considerably big cut, but it still hurt a hell of a lot.   
  
“Ouch,” Evan cringed when he saw it. “You should get Madame Mellick to check that out.”   
  
“I agree – You’d better get fixed up as soon as you can.” Lucius added sternly.   
  
I grumbled a little “Okay, okay I’ll go to the hospital wing as soon as we get to-” The train screeched and came to a sudden halt. I looked out the window at the darkened sky – the massive outline of a great castle was visible through the darkness, the windows all alight with lanterns. I could hear people in the corridors scrambling to get out of their compartments and off the train.  
   
“ _Hogwarts._ ” I finished my sentence quietly to myself.  
  
“Good girl,” Evan teased as he pulled my trunk out from the overhead compartment, before going back for his. “And don’t worry about those Gryffindor idiots, we’ll take care of them.” he added with a wink.   
  
I smiled appreciatively – Sirius Black and James Potter were certainly going to pay for what they did.   
  
“What about us? Me and Alex want to join in on the fun too.” Bella smirked, raising her eyebrows at me. I chuckled softly – that was just like Bella, always up for a fight.   
  
“We’ll leave that Pettigrew pip-squeak for you.” Evan laughed. Bella scowled, giving him a rough shove out the door as she did so.   
  
“Yeah, yeah. Get out of here, Alex and I need to change.”  
  
   
  


***

  
  
  
  
**A/N:** _Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter. What did you think about Serenity huh? Were you surprised? Or did you already guess it would be something like that? Leave a review and tell me your thoughts xo_


	4. Superiority Complex

“Owww!”   
  
I rubbed my temple slowly for the second time that day as Sirius Black let out an outrageous howl of pain.   
  
I found myself currently in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts, perched on one of the, rather surprisingly, comfortable beds that were laid out in two rows along the length of the room. Bellatrix – who despite her protests I had managed to drag along with me – was seated at the end of my bed near my feet, watching the scene in front of her with a look of pure enjoyment etched upon her face.   
  
“Watch what you’re doing, woman. That hurts!” Sirius growled at Madame Mellick, our elderly and strict school nurse, earning himself a smack across the head from the old woman. I couldn’t blame her really, for hitting Sirius I mean. One look at that mug of his could make almost any sane person want to smack him one.   
  
“Mr Black! How many times now have I had to warn you about your manners? That’s no way to speak to a lady.” Madame Mellick scolded the boy who was lying on another of the hospital beds in front of her.   
  
“I would have thought by now, Mr Black, that you had learned to respect your  _superiors._ ” I mocked with a dark grin, laying extra emphasise on the last word.  
  
Sirius bolted up abruptly, seemingly in order to position himself for another battle with me. However, in his haste he had laid all his weight on his injured arm and once again howled in pain as he fell back onto the mattress beneath him.   
  
Madame Mellick shook her head. “It wouldn’t hurt so much, foolish boy, if you’d just learn to keep  _still._ ” She said sternly, before returning to dabbing Sirius’ wound with the green, sticky looking paste that she held in a jar in her hand.   
  
Bellatrix let out a snicker, earning a death glare from James, who was seated on the bed next to the one Sirius was currently on – looking awfully unhappy and still covered in a whole lot of disgusting boils. I couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter at the sight of him.   
  
“Now girls. I don’t see what’s so _funny_ about this situation,” Madame Mellick scolded as she finished tending Sirius’ wound with the green paste and reached for a piece of Expandable Bandage, which lay on the dressing table next to the bed. I watched as she stretched the seemingly small piece of white fabric around Sirius’ arm, again and again until it covered up his entire wound.   
  
“Mr Black has a serious wound here.” She continued her rant. I looked at Bella and rolled my eyes. The staff at Hogwarts were  _so_  dramatic.  
  
She turned her attention back to Sirius. “Now dear, you’ll need to get a lot of rest tonight. The wound should be almost fully healed by the morning. However, there will be a little scarring.”   
  
Sirius eyes widened in horror.   
  
“You – you mean my arm will be scarred?” He asked a little shakily.   
  
I rolled my eyes once again. So what if there was a bit of scarring? Trust Sirius Black to act like it was the end of the world. He looked like someone who had just been told that his best friend had been in a terrible broom accident and died a tragic death. Which unfortunately hadn‘t happened as said best friend was in the same room, looking equally miserable.  
  
“Yes, Mr Black, that’s what I said,” Madame Mellick said as she shook her head disapprovingly. “Now onto you, Mr Potter”.   
  
I watched Sirius as he stared at the wall ahead of him blankly and scoffed – He was such a baby.  
  
At the sound, his eyes then came to rest upon mine, and the look on his face turned from pure horror, to an even purer hate.   
  
“You’re going  _down,_ ” He whispered harshly. “Just wait until Dumbledore hears about this.”   
  
I mocked an expression of fear “Oh, I’m  _so_  scared. The big, bad Gryffindor and the crazy, old man are out to get me.  _You’re_  the one who should be worrying, Black. You and your little side-kick over there,” I hissed, indicating to James who had jumped off the bed excitedly, as the Boil-Cure potion Madame Mellick used had cleared his boils right up.   
  
“Yeah? So I guess you’ve already run crying to your idiot of a boyfriend and his gang of bullies then?” He sneered. “A _typical_ example of Slytherin cowardice.”  
  
I could feel my blood boiling once again. I was used to Sirius throwing insults at me, but  _no-one_  insults my boyfriend  _and_  my friends and gets away with. I reached for my wand, but before I had any time to do anything, James “Idiot” Potter bounced in front of Sirius’ bed like a moron.   
  
“Padfoot, look! My beautiful body is back to normal.”   
  
Sirius turned his attention from me to his best friend, and forced a smile “That’s really great, Prongs.”   
  
“Let’s go down for dinner, eh? Hopefully we’ve missed Dumbledores speech, and can get straight into the food.” James said with a bout of laughter.   
  
“Yeah, let’s get outta this snake-pit.” Sirius agreed with a last glare in my direction.  
  
He then shot a cheeky grin at Madame Mellick before following James out of the Hospital wing. Madame Mellick shook her head once again, but had an amused expression on her face.   
  
I glared at her, before Bellatrix diverted my attention. “Did you really  _have_  to drag me here with you, Alex, I’m starving!” She groaned, rubbing at her stomach longingly.  
  
“Of course I  _had_  to, Bella,” I snapped, still thoroughly pissed off at Sirius Blacks attitude “You wouldn’t just leave me stuck here with those idiots all on my own, would you?”  
  
Bella mumbled something I couldn’t hear, not that I cared about what she had to say anyway.  
  
Madame Mellick inspected the cut on my head “Hmm, not too bad. A dab of this should clear it right up.” she explained as she reached for the same jar of green paste that she had used on Sirius’ arm.  
  
She put a small bit on the end of her finger and applied it to my cut. I immediately felt a cool, tingling sensation in that very spot, and then it kind of went all numb – the pain from it was completely gone.   
  
“That should do it. You girls may run along to dinner now. And keep out of trouble – I won’t be happy if I see you back in here as a result of another spat with those boys.” Madame Mellick warned before turning to clean up her medical supplies from the bedside table.   
  
“Yeah, yeah…” I mumbled before catching up to Bella, who had already made a mad dash for the door.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
We entered the Great Hall to find an absolute feeding frenzy. I guess you never really notice it when you’re sitting amongst them all, but watching the teenagers of Hogwarts eat, is a very bizarre and somewhat scary experience.   
  
Bella and I guided ourselves between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables to find the spot where we usually sat for meals. I swear, just walking down that aisle was an experience in itself. At one point along the way we had to watch ourselves as we walked behind a group of younger Slytherin boys who seemed to think that good table manners consisted of throwing the remains of their food onto the stone floor behind them, every now and then hitting one of the unfortunate Ravenclaw girls who were seated across from them, looking completely disgusted.   
  
I smacked one of the boys on the back of the head and hissed at them “What are you, a bunch of farm animals? Learn some proper table manners before I’m forced to  _make_ you learn them.”  
  
The boys all looked at me nervously, then nodded their heads furiously in understanding before turning cautiously back to their meals. I smiled in triumph before continuing down the table and placing myself on the bench in between Lucius and Severus.   
  
I sighed slightly before filling my plate up with the roast chicken and vegetables that were placed in front of me.   
  
“All better, love?” Lucius asked me as he took a sip from his goblet.   
  
I nodded in reply as I cut off a piece of my chicken and placed it in my mouth. I chewed it slowly, taking in the full flavour. The house elves at Bella’s house were capable of producing delicious meals, but I had to admit that they were nothing compared to the meals that the Hogwarts House elves cooked every day – I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything better.   
  
I was just about to take my second mouthful when a strange feeling came over me. You know, the kind of feeling you get when you’re being watched.   
  
I glanced across the table. Bellatrix was digging into the food on her plate. Rodolphus and Evan were seated either side of her, all three of them eating as if it was their last meal. On the other side of Evan was the younger three. Narcissa was moving her food around her plate with her fork; she looked like she’d barely even touched her meal. I frowned slightly – That girl was so thin, it wouldn’t hurt her to eat a decent meal for once.   
  
Rabastan, who was seated beside Narcissa, was shovelling food into his mouth at an alarming rate, and talking animatedly to Regulus at the same time – food coming out of his mouth and flying in all directions.  
  
And that’s when my suspicions were confirmed – Regulus was sitting there, his arms folded across his chest, apparently finished with his meal and completely oblivious to the fact that his best friend was having a full-blown conversation, seemingly with himself. His stormy grey eyes were fixed on me, small frown lines etched on his forehead. I noticed the way his wavy black hair fell into his eyes, much like his older brothers – It unnerved me how similar the two of them looked.  
  
“Alright, Reg?” I asked, laying my knife and fork down beside my plate, as was the correct manner, and smiling at the raven-haired boy.   
  
His cheeks flushed slightly at being caught staring, but he managed to keep his cool “Sorry, I was just wondering… well, I heard about your run in with my – with Black. I was just wondering if you’re okay, that’s all.”   
  
My smile grew a bit wider – he was worried about me, how sweet.   
  
“Reg, I have run-ins with Black and his friends every other day. I’m always fine, you know that. Besides, he’s not going to get away with it so easily this time,” I smiled at Lucius. “No need to worry about anything, okay?”   
  
“Yeah, okay.” Regulus replied, but he was still frowning. There must be something up. I made a mental note to ask him about it later on, privately. But for now, my attention was fully focused on… my food!   
  
As I turned back to my plate I found that it had completely vanished – It had been right in front of me not a minute ago. I looked around the table angrily, searching for the culprit. This was the problem with hanging out with a bunch of guys, if you’re not fast you don’t get to eat at all.   
  
I heard a small snicker and turned in Evans direction, glaring daggers at him. He had his eyes glued to his plate – which was filled up with chicken and vegetables!   
  
“ _You!_ ” I shrieked, pointing a finger squarely at sandy-haired boy.   
  
Evan could no longer hold in his amusement, he burst out in a fit of laughter.   
  
“Sorry Alex, if you snooze you lose.” he chuckled. I noticed Lucius roll his eyes before sipping from his goblet again.   
  
“Not funny, Evan, you can’t just steal someone’s food while they’re not looking!”   
  
“Well it looks to me like I just did.” he teased. Bella cackled at the scene while Rodolphus hi-fived Evan, who was grinning like a lunatic. Even Severus had a small smile playing on his lips as he peeked out from behind his curtain of hair.   
  
“Oh ha ha, so funny. Not.” I replied sulkily.  
  
“Aww, come on Alex, don’t look at me like that. If you  _really_  want it back, you can have it.” Evan said gently. I looked up at him hopefully, ready to accept my food back. But the next thing I know, he had ran his tongue all the way up the side of the biggest piece of chicken, then placed it back right in the middle of the plate.   
  
I wrinkled my nose – boys really were disgusting. I didn’t have time to retaliate though as Lucius had kicked Evan right in the knee from under the table.   
  
“Shit!” Evan cried out, while gripping his leg. “Merlin, that hurt!”   
  
“Perhaps it will remind you to be a little more courteous in the future, Evan” Lucius said coolly, shooting me a small smile. I felt my heart skip a beat as he did so and grinned back at him. Now it was Evans turn to sulk. I couldn’t help but laugh at the pout that his mouth had turned into.   
  
That disappeared in a few moments however, when all of the dinner plates were magically cleared from the tables and replaced instead, by mountains of ice-cream, chocolate mud cake, pumpkin pasties, and every other kind of dessert you could imagine – Evans eyes widened in delight.   
  
If there was anything worse than dinner at Hogwarts – it was dessert.  
  


***


	5. Two's A Crowd

I fell back onto my comfortable green and silver clad bed with a small sigh. I hadn’t even bothered to change out of my robes. After the day I’d had, I was fully ready to just curl up and get some much needed sleep.   
  
I let my head sink down into the soft pillow while my mind slowly slipped in to sleep. Though, such bliss cannot last for long with room-mates like mine.  
  
Bellatrix, who like me had been looking forward to some much needed rest, was lying on her stomach with her head at the foot of her bed. She scowled at the girl who had entered the room and rushed over to join us.   
  
“Alexandra, Bellatrix, darlings!” The tall, leggy blonde, gushed as she hurried to my side. She attempted to stoop down and give me a friendly hug – but as I displayed no sign of returning the gesture, she settled instead for smiling down at me with her blindingly white teeth.  
  
Isobel Mosely – a girl who was almost as sickingly perfect as our  _dear_  Head Girl, Lily Evans.  
  
 _Almost._    
  
“How was your summer?” Isobel asked me in the annoyingly posh voice that she always used. She spoke as if she were twenty years older then she actually was – The same could be said for the way she dressed. Though I had no idea why a seventeen year old girl would willingly dress the way she did.  
   
Her hair was done up in a rather elaborate hairstyle, full of coils and pins, and I noticed she was wearing a string of ivory pearls around her neck. If it wasn’t for the black and green school robes she was wearing, anyone would think the girl was on her way to a ball.   
  
“So-so.” I replied offhandedly while stealing a glance at Bella, who I caught rolling her eyes in Isobel’s direction before dropping her head between her arms, her hair flopping all over the place.  
   
No attempt at all to save me from Isobel Mosely’s clutches? What a friend.   
  
“Well mine was wonderful!” I was cruelly forced to realise that my little chat was Isobel had not yet ended, as I had so hoped.   
  
“I spent my time in Venice with Mama and Father; they bought a new holiday home there. You  _must_  come and spend some time with me there, maybe over Christmas break? It’s truly a beautiful house.” She gushed while looking at me hopefully.  
   
Isobel often invited me to spend the holidays with her and her family, even though I hadn’t yet taken up any of her offers. She seemed to think we were  _friends_ or something.   
  
“Sorry, Isobel. I’m not really fond of France.” I lied, as I had never actually been to France, or Italy as I knew that was where Venice was rightly located, while rolling over to face away from the blonde – hoping she’d take my hint and leave me in peace.   
  
“Alex, Venice is in Italy, not France.” Isobel replied, a little exasperated. This girl completely disapproved of a person’s lack of worldly knowledge – I often found it amusing to watch her become increasingly flustered as she corrected my many “mistakes”.   
  
“Italy, right. That’s what I said.” I replied while waving my hand in the air nonchalantly, signalling for her to go away, as my earlier attempt had obviously failed. Luckily at that moment, the last of our room-mates, Kendra Carysfort and Violet Parkinson, had entered the room and thankfully stolen Isobel’s attention away from me.   
  
“Girls! How wonderful to see you again.” I heard Isobel quickly rush off to greet the new arrivals. It was almost sickening how desperate the girl was to fit in with everyone. I knew for a fact that Kendra and Violet weren’t too keen on Isobel, yet unlike Bella and I, they made somewhat of an effort to be nice to her.   
  
“Hi Isobel, nice to see you. Hey Alex!” Violet called out to me in her squeaky voice. I was now starting to get fed up with all these interruptions. Instead of acknowledging my roommates presence, I simply sat up, drew the dark green, velvet curtains around my bed moodily and buried my face back into my soft pillow.   
  
“Now’s probably not the best time, Violet. You know our Alex, she needs her beauty sleep.” I faintly heard Isobel say softly before I tuned them all out and eventually nodded off.  
  
***  
  
In the morning I woke up in a better mood. I sat up in bed and groggily looked around the room, rubbing my eyes as I did so. Isobel was nowhere to be seen, thank Merlin. Her bed had been made perfectly and her trunk was sitting neatly closed at the foot. I noticed a couple of framed photos of her family sitting on her bedside table, all smiling and waving cheerfully.  
  
I almost gagged.   
  
Kendra and Violet weren’t so tidy. Their beds were still in a mess, blankets and pillows strewn about. I noticed that they too were nowhere in sight. Next to me, Bella lay sprawled out across her bed, one of her legs was dangling over the side and her mouth was open unattractively. She was snoring quietly.   
  
Strange, I thought, that the other girls would be gone before us. Usually we were all up around the same time, scrambling to use the bathroom, which I almost always got first, unless Bella happened to get out of bed before me – but that was awfully rare.  
   
It was only when I looked at the clock on my bedside table that I was realised why the other girls were gone. It was eight forty-five – our first class of the day, which just so happened to be Potions, started in exactly fifteen minutes.   
  
Well usually, any normal student would be in a fit of panic, probably rushing around trying to find all their school supplies while simultaneously trying to keep themselves from hyper-ventilating. I, however, merely stretched my arms in the air and yawned loudly, before getting out of bed to shake Bella awake.   
  
Bella protested with a moan, before getting reluctantly out of bed in order to get ready for our day.   
  
Half an hour later we started on our way down to the dungeons. We didn’t have time to eat breakfast so instead Bella grabbed a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans out of her pocket for us to munch on the way. Not the most nutritious breakfast I must admit, but better than nothing.   
  
“Alex,” Bella mumbled as she flicked what looked to be a Snot flavoured bean onto the stone floor in front of her. “Do you think Slughorn will say anything to us about what happened on the Express yesterday?”   
  
“Definitely,” I replied with a nod as I popped a Peppermint flavoured bean, my favourite, into my mouth “But you know Sluggy. We’ll get off easily.” I added confidently as we reached the entrance to the Potions class.   
  
   
  
I pushed the heavy door open, I had never noticed how noisy that old thing was before. Bella and I strolled inside, ignoring the numerous stares we were getting as we did so. Professor Slughorn had stopped speaking as we entered, and now had his eyes on us, looking slightly annoyed.   
  
“Nice of you to join us Miss Cortez, Miss Black,” The large, walrus-like man addressed us as we sat in a pair of seats behind Lucius and Evan at the back of the classroom “You do realise that you are twenty minutes late, do you not?”   
  
Now was my time to shine. I have to say that I’m not really that great of an actress, but somehow Professor Slughorn seemed to fall for my acts every time.   
  
“Twenty minutes?” I gasped “Are you  _sure_ , Professor? I could’ve sworn that we had at least ten minutes to spare when we left for class this morning.” I replied while feigning a look of innocence.   
  
I heard someone scoff over on the other side of the classroom – it was Sirius Black and his little friends glaring over at me. Not to mention my sister, Serenity, and Lily Evans, who were not looking at all impressed with my performance. I realised then that we had Potions with the Gryffindors again this year, the same as last year. When will Hogwarts quit torturing me like this? I shot them all a knowing look before turning my attention back to Slughorn.   
  
“Oh, well, in that case… It must have just been a mix up, I’ll let you girls off with a warning this time. But you should really get that clock of yours fixed as soon as possible.” Slughorn said sternly, before breaking out into a smile and continuing on with the lesson.   
  
Lucius turned around and gave me a quick wink before turning back to concentrate on the lesson. I grinned rather stupidly at the back of his head for a minute or two after that. Just one look from that guy could make me melt.   
  
“Now, as I was previously explaining to the class today we will be preparing a simple little draught, just to get you back into the swing of things – the Befuddlement Draught. But before we do that, I will be sorting you into pairs. Whoever I pair you with, will be your Potions partner for the remainder of the year.” Slughorn informed us all.  
  
I wasn’t too phased by this information. Last year I had been lucky enough to be paired up with Severus, and I must say we totally aced the class together. Severus was a really smart guy, and Potions seemed to be his strong point. And I wasn’t too bad at Potions myself, I even kind of enjoyed it sometimes. I was sure that I’d be paired with one of my friends again this year.   
  
“This year however the pairs will be a little different,” Slughorn continued. “They will all consist of one student from Gryffindor, and one from Slytherin."  
  
I don’t think there was one mouth in the entire class that didn’t drop open at this moment. Never in our entire schooling lives had we been paired with someone from another House. Why should this year be any different? I was just about to open my mouth to protest against this when someone else beat me to it.   
  
“Why do we have to be paired with  _them_?” Sirius Black growled at Slughorn, who looked very much taken aback.   
  
“Please try to keep your outbursts under control, Mr Black. The Headmaster wishes to enforce a sense of unity between the Hogwarts Houses this year, which is why I will be sorting you into these pairs. Now if there are no further questions, I’ll start reading out the list.”   
  
Everyone was still too stunned to even think of any more questions, so Slughorn began to read off a clipboard he was holding in his small stubby hands in front of him.   
  
“Ahem. The first pair will be Remus Lupin and Isobel Mosely.”   
  
To my surprise, Isobel didn’t look too upset by this. Remus on the other hand, was looking rather pale. Whether it was due to a previous illness, or the fact that he had to be paired with Isobel, I couldn’t tell. But if I were him, it would’ve been the latter.   
  
“The next pair is Serenity Cortez and Evan Rosier.”   
  
I couldn’t help but snicker quietly at this one. Evan turned and glared at me and I grinned cheekily in response.   
  
“Peter Pettigrew and Violet Parkinson.” Slughorn called out next.  
   
I looked over at Peter Pettigrew and felt instantly sorry for Violet. He was a small, plump boy with watery blue eyes, who hung around with Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin. Or better known as “The Marauders”  
   
  
Stupid name if you ask me, what kind of people names themselves? I didn’t even see why the others would want to be friends with Pettigrew; he seemed to be completely useless at everything.  
  
But you never know, maybe he’s a real comedian or something – although that’s highly doubtful.   
  
“Lily Evans and Severus Snape.” I breathed out slightly in relief as this pair was called. There are only two people in Gryffindor worse than Lily Evans, and I didn’t particularly want to be paired up with any of them. In fact if I did end up partners with them I just may have to drown myself in the lake.   
  
“Selene Silver and Lucius Malfoy.”  
  
I had to supress a gag. I recognised the blonde Gryffindor, Selene, as the over-achieving Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.  
   
“James Potter and Alexandra Cortez.”  
   
Oh… Merlin. No way! I am  _not_  going to be stuck with big-head Potter the entire year. Is there  _any_  worse form of torture? Any at all? I was just about to raise my hand in protest when Slughorn announced the next pair.   
  
“Sirius Black and Bellatrix Black.” Suddenly I forgot about my own dilemma and my eyes immediately shot to Bella. I knew this wouldn’t go down well with her at all. And I was right. She abruptly shrieked from next to me, “What!”   
  
Slughorn looked up from his clipboard at the dishevelled girl who had now risen from her desk and was looking furious “Professor you _cannot_  pair me with that  _thing_. If you do I’m afraid I’ll be forced to leave your class – I can’t spend a whole year with  _him._ ” she spat angrily.   
  
Sirius, who had also jumped up from his chair, banged his fists on the desk in front of him and bellowed “I agree!”   
  
“Don’t agree with me, you swine!” Bella turned and spat in Sirius’ direction. Sirius, who looked a little confused, was preparing to retaliate before Slughorn took control of the situation.   
  
“Merlins beard! It’s not that bad is it?” he asked the two, only to be met by angry glares “Alright, alright… if you really insist then I guess I can swap you around. Miss Black, you will be paired with Mr Potter, and Mr Black with Miss Cortez.”  
  
What! Now was my turn to protest, however once again I was cut off by big-mouth Black and his equally big-mouthed friend.  
  
“I refuse to work with that  _snake_!” Sirius and James both yelled at Slughorn at the same time.   
  
Slughorn, who looked awfully offended at their choice of the word “snake”, being the Head of Slytherin himself, had turned a dark shade of red.  
  
“I will  _not_  tolerate name calling in my class!” he spat angrily. “Mr Black, Mr Potter, you will have detention with me tonight for your lack of respect for other students. And as for the pairs, what I say is final. So either choose to accept them, or return to your Head of House and ask to be removed from my class.” he said sternly, causing the two boys to quickly shut up and sit back in their seats, still looking furious.   
  
Sirius looked over at me gloomily – I’d never seen him look so utterly miserable. But believe me, I knew how he was feeling, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to the prospect of spending the entire year being Sirius Blacks potions partner.   
  
Professor Slughorn returned to reading out his list and I slumped back in my chair moodily, feeling utterly defeated, and contemplating whether I really should drown myself in the lake.  
  
 ***  
  
  
 **A/N:** _Okay so I know the whole being Potions partner with Sirius Black thing is so cliché… but oh well. This isn’t really the best chapter, it was pretty rushed lol so I promise to put a little more work into the next exciting instalment. This chapter was getting kinda long so I thought I should stop it there, I might continue on with this scene in the next chapter though and we’ll see how all the partners work together hmm? I hope you’re enjoying the story xo_


	6. Hot As Ice

“Black, you idiot! That was the Sneezewort, I told you to add the Lovage!”   
  
“How was I supposed to know which one it was, they both look exactly the same!”   
  
“You are such a brainless git, they look nothing alike!”   
  
“Yes they do! Look!”   
  
And with that, Sirius Black threw both the jar of Sneezewort and a bunch of Lovage directly at me. I shrieked as the two potion ingredients hit me and then fell to the floor – the jar smashing open and spilling its powdery contents everywhere.  
  
 It was only when I had grabbed the small knife I was using to chop up the Scurvy-grass, and brandished it threateningly in Sirius’ direction, that Professor Slughorn stepped in.   
  
“People, please, calm down!” he commanded whilst removing the knife from my trembling hand. “You two need to stop arguing and learn how to get along, if you have any hopes of passing my class this year. Mr Black, you’ve earned yourself another detention, tomorrow night. This is a classroom, _not_ a Quidditch pitch.”   
  
Sirius glared at me spitefully and I gritted my teeth to prevent a retaliation.  
  
“And Miss Cortez, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to give you a detention as well. This sort of behaviour is simply not acceptable. I’ll expect you in my office at 9 o’clock tonight.”   
  
 With another disapproving frown and a quick shake of the head, Slughorn waddled off to the table where Bella and James were working, and who were obviously getting along just as well as Sirius and myself.   
  
When Slughorn was out of ears reach, Sirius hissed at me “You are such a  _bitch_. Don’t think I’ve forgotten what happened yesterday either, I’m still going to get you back for that. Look at this.”   
  
 As he spoke he rolled up the left sleeve of his robe, revealing the gash that ran up his arm. The bandage had been removed, and the wound looked almost fully healed, but despite that, you could already see that he was going to be stuck with a pretty nasty scar.   
  
I whistled lowly. “Oh, that’s impressive. But it’s not that bad, look on the bright side. Now you can go around making up stories to all of your fan girls that you got it from a life or death battle with a deadly dragon over the summer holidays. I’m sure they’d be absolutely drooling over you then.” I said with a chuckle, feeling quite clever.   
  
Sirius scowled at me. “First of all, I don’t have ‘fan girls’. And second of all, that story wouldn’t exactly be a lie. A lunatic dragon  _did_  do this to me.”  
  
I was a little taken aback by the dragon remark. It wasn’t often that Sirius Black could come up with such a witty comeback. But as usual, I was determined to use this to my advantage.   
  
“Aww, I’m flattered that you would compare me to such a magnificent creature, Black.” I replied while faking a smile. Sirius’ face turned absolutely livid, as I knew it was not in his intentions to compliment me at all.   
  
“And as for your fan girls. Well, just take a look for yourself.” I directed his gaze to a few tables across, where Serenity was sitting next to Evan, moodily staring over at Sirius and I. I noticed her eye twitch slightly as her own met mine, and she quickly turned back to the cauldron in front of her where Evan was stirring their potion.   
  
Sirius turned back to look at me, the expression on his face still incensed.   
“Serenity’s  _not_  my fan girl. She’s my… friend.” he said, struggling a little to spit the word out.   
  
I snorted and countered with a laugh. “Friend? Yeah right. I bet you only hang around with her and her daft friend, Evans, because Potter forces you to.”   
  
Sirius’ face flushed slightly at this and I knew that what I said was right.   
  
“You know,” I continued, openly enjoying the fact that I was getting on Sirius’ nerves. “I never did understand why you weren’t interested in dating Serenity. I mean, she’s completely in love with you, she’s not  _that_  bad looking, and everyone knows she’s totally easy. Sounds like your kind of girl, huh?”   
  
I had initially asked this question simply to annoy Sirius. But now that the words had left my mouth, I found myself genuinely wondering what his reply would be. What was the mysterious reason behind Sirius Black never sparing a second glance at Serenity Cortez.   
  
A few seconds passed before Professor Slughorn announced that class had finished for the day, and we were to bring our potions to the front of the room for marking. I could hear the other students shuffling around the classroom to grab their belongings and pour their potions into small vials. I hadn’t moved an inch. My eyes were still fixed on Sirius, waiting for the next words that would leave his mouth.   
  
Sirius sighed quietly and stood up from his seat. He picked his potions book up from off the table and turned his back on me. He was just going to ignore me. Typical, idiot Black.   
  
I have to admit, I was feeling quite annoyed that he’d done so. I was so close to finally finding out what the reason was that he’d never given Serenity the time of day, hoping that it would be some new ammo that I could taunt her with.   
  
I was just about to rise from my chair when suddenly Sirius turned back to me, the scowl he had been wearing the entire lesson was still plastered on his face, yet he had his eyes fixed firmly on the ground below him. And then he spoke in a low voice.   
  
“The reason I’ve never been interested in Serenity is,” he hesitated, and looked up into my eyes. “Because she reminds me of  _you_. Anytime I’ve looked into her eyes, I’ve seen you staring back out at me.”  
  
And that was it. He turned right back around and strolled over to where James, Remus and Peter were waiting for him by the door, before leaving the classroom.   
  
I have to admit that I was a little surprised at his answer.  _I_  was the reason that Sirius Black didn’t like Serenity? I just couldn’t see why, considering that my sister and I were nothing alike.   
  
 _“Anytime I’ve looked into her eyes, I’ve seen you staring back out at me.”_    
  
It’s true that Serenity and I did have identical eyes. But what kind of reason is that not to like someone? I just didn't understand it. It’s not like he’d be gazing deep into her silvery-blue orbs while he was making out with her in the darkness of the Astronomy Tower, as he was so well known for.  
  
Eww. Disgusting mental image. Go away, go away, go away.   
  
“What the _hell_ are you doing?” I heard Bellas voice come from behind me. I turned to find a rather confused expression on my best friends face. I guess I must’ve looked a bit strange, shaking my head around like that.   
  
“Uhh…” I began to explain but was cut off as Professor Slughorn had shuffled up beside us. His large, blonde moustache was twitching above his lip as he spoke. “Girls, I’m glad you’re still here. I’d like to have a word with you both if I may. It seems that Professor McGonagall is a bit miffed at some of the incidents that occurred on board the Hogwarts Express yesterday. She’s asked if I might talk to you about it. Please, step into my office.”  
  
I gave Bella a look that said I-told-you-so before following Slughorn into his familiar dull office at the front of the potions class.   
  
  
***  
  
Two Detentions. I had already landed myself two detentions and it was only the first day back at Hogwarts. I must say though, I feel that Professor Slughorn went awfully easily on us for the Express incident. Apparently Professor McGonagall, the old hag, had argued that Dumbledore should be the one to decide our punishment. But Dumbledore had insisted on letting Slughorn take the honour, as he was our Head of House.   
  
Thank Merlin for that.   
  
The rest of our day had passed by rather uneventfully. After Potions, Isobel, Kendra and I had Arithmancy with the Ravenclaws. And then finally we all had Defence against the Dark Arts, which I found, much to my annoyance, was also with the Gryffindors. But apart from the usual looks of reproach from a certain individual who shall remain unnamed, and the meeting of our rather intimidating new Defence teacher, Professor Keyes, who I very much suspect may be a vampire, all was well.   
  
That night after dinner I found myself sitting alone in the quiet, stone common room, save for a few younger girls who sat huddled in one of the dark corners, seemingly working on their homework, but shooting me nervous glances every so often. Bella had stalked off to the library in search of some poor, defenceless student she could force to do our Defence essays for us, and I hadn’t seen the boys since I left the Great Hall earlier that evening.   
  
I stretched myself out along the couch I was on and grabbed my copy of the book we had been assigned to read for our Defence homework. The thick book I plopped onto my lap was titled “A Beginners Guide to The Dark Arts”. Yet another reason I suspected Professor Keyes to be of the undead kind. He seemed much more intent on teaching us about the Dark Arts itself rather than teach us how to defend ourselves against it.   
  
Not that I was complaining though. A few of the Gryffindors however, namely Lily Evans, were.   
  
I sighed to myself as I turned the first page and scanned over the index. Basic hexes, information on Dark creatures, praise of the name “Salazer Slytherin“ on every other page. Kiddy stuff. As if I didn’t know this all already. When you were as close to the likes of Severus Snape as I was, and not to mention a part of the infamous Slytherin House, you couldn’t really help but to know the basics.   
  
Yawning loudly, I sat up and set the book down onto the small table beside the couch. I was heavily tempted to head straight upstairs and jump into my cozy bed, but remembering that I had detention with Slughorn tonight, I thought it better to get that out of the way rather than risking getting landed with even more.   
  
I decided to search for Bella, so I could hurry her up as she would‘ve no doubt forgotten. But before I could get up off of the couch, I felt an icy chill on the back of my neck. I raised my hand to find the source of the coldness and gasped a little when I found my own hand meet with another. I whipped around to find a piercing, icy blue gaze looking down at me. I breathed out a little in relief as I realised that it was only Lucius who was standing behind the couch I was seated on.   
  
“Did I frighten you, love?” He asked me in a steely voice. I noticed that the tone of his voice was not concern, but more curiosity.   
  
“Just a little,” I replied softly “Your hands are so cold, where have you been?” I asked as I took his hands in my own and directed him around onto the couch where he sat down beside me.   
  
“I was a little restless after dinner,” Lucius replied coolly “I went for a walk around the grounds, that’s all.” I noticed his eyes flicker to the side as he spoke this last part. A little habit that he had developed over the years.  
  
Though only when he was lying.  
  
“But it’s only September. It’s still warm outside, surely your hands shouldn’t be this cold.” I spoke as I rubbed his hands between my own, attempting to bring the warmth back to them. “Where were you really, Lucius?”.   
  
“I told you where I was, Alexandra. Do you not trust me?” Lucius asked icily. As his stony eyes bore down into my own, a slight feeling of uneasiness came over me.   
  
“Of course I trust you. It’s just that…” I hesitated for a moment “You know you don’t have to lie to me, Lucius, you can tell me where you really were.”  
  
“I told you I went out for a walk!” Lucius snapped quickly in reply. His mouth was set into a scowl as he snatched his hands back from my grip. I saw out of the corner of my eye, the group of girls that I had noticed earlier shuffle a little before hurrying out of the common room and up the stairs to their dormitories. Only myself and Lucius were left sitting alone in the dim light that the few torches surrounding the room were giving.   
  
I was hurt. Sure Lucius could be a little moody every once and a while but that never made it hurt any less when he did snap at me. I made to get up off the couch and leave, but as I did so I felt Lucius’ cold hands grab my own once more and pull me back beside him. I didn’t want to meet his gaze, so I kept my eyes focused on the stone floor below us.   
  
"Alexandra..." I shivered when I felt icy fingertips touch the side of my face, and he gently steered my eyes to meet his own. His eyes had softened. A minute before they had been full of anger and annoyance, but now they twinkled once again with the gentleness that I was so familiar with.  
  
“I’m sorry.” He said in a soft whisper before he leaned towards me and pressed his lips gently against my own. I noticed that his lips, like his hands, were also unnaturally cold, and wondered for a moment what on earth could have caused it. But when Lucius soon started to deepen the kiss, all thoughts left my head and I found the familiar tingly sensation starting in my stomach once again. My hands found their way to the back of his neck where they started to tangle themselves in his soft, blonde hair and I sighed a little as I felt his warm tongue run teasingly along my bottom lip.   
  
Lucius moved his hands behind me, and slowly lifted the hem of my top up a little in order to caress the warm skin on my back. Both his touch and the chill from his fingertips were sending shivers up and down my spine.   
  
I deepened the kiss further, tugging gently on the front of Lucius’ shirt as I lay back on the couch and pulled him on top of me. His hand moved slowly to tease the smooth skin of my stomach, making the butterflies inside grow more intense. I moaned softly when his tongue finally entered my mouth and began to caress my own.   
  
It had been a while since Lucius and I had been alone together like this. I was so completely lost in our moment that I hadn’t even noticed the new presence in the room.  
  


***


	7. A Shadow of Doubt

“Gross – would you guys get a  _room_ "  
  
I was rudely interrupted by the familiar, screechy voice of my so-called best friend, as she appeared behind the couch Lucius and I were on. Gently pushing Lucius off and sitting up on the couch I turned to glare at Bellatrix  
  
“You always show up at the best of times, don’t you?” I said sarcastically, hoping she would notice the bite in my tone. She did.   
  
“Some people call it a talent.” Bella replied with a sly grin.  
  
I scowled. “Your mother doesn’t count, Bella. Is there something you wanted?” I asked, rather annoyed at her unwanted presence.   
  
“We have detention for Slughorn. Did you forget, or were you just too _preoccupied_  to notice the time flying by.” Bella answered bluntly, while twirling a strand of her raven hair around her finger.   
  
I cursed under my breath quietly. What an inconvenience.   
  
“Detention? What could you have possibly done on your first day back at Hogwarts to land yourself in detention?” Lucius asked silkily.   
  
I let out a low sigh and leaned back onto the couch as I explained. “One of them is for what happened with those idiots, Black and Potter, on the Express,”   
  
“Ah yes. I’m afraid we’re still waiting for our chance to thank them for that little mishap,” Lucius replied with a cold smile. “You said “one of them”, am I to believe that you have more than _one_ detention?”   
  
“Yes,” I replied through gritted teeth. “I have another one tomorrow night for that scene Black caused in Potions today.”   
  
Lucius scratched his chin in thought as he stared into the nearby fireplace, which was burning quietly, even though there was no real need for the extra heat this time of year “I‘m afraid I missed that,” Lucius answered. “But it looks like our friend, Black, has a lesson or two to learn about self-restraint.”   
  
While rolling my eyes I agreed. “Well, we better get going. I wouldn’t want all my evenings to end up wasted on polishing suits of armour.”   
  
“Neither would I.” Lucius replied softly, and with a last apologetic look, I got up and followed Bellatrix out of the common room.  
   
***  
  
  
“So you see, Padfoot. If you just charm these forks like so… then hang a rag onto the end of the prongs… voila! Instant cleaning devices. And that leaves us free to get the hell out’ve here and pursue our own choice of leisure-time activity.” James Potter declared boisterously, after his demonstration of the ‘cleaning forks’.   
  
Instead of being stuck polishing suits of armour like I had originally guessed, James Potter, Sirius Black, Bellatrix and I had all been thrown into the Great Hall together to polish up the silverware used for Hogwarts feasts instead. And I have to tell you that there’s a hell of a lot of it, what with all the mouths to feed and all.   
  
So James had thought up his own idea of charming forks to do the work for him. Pathetic.   
  
“That’s genius, Prongs!” Sirius congratulated his friend with a hard slap on the back “Now the forks can do all the cleaning and we can go and work on,” After a shifty look in my direction, he said something quietly into James’ ear. James nodded his head vigorously in reply, while casting a spiteful look at Bellatrix.   
  
  
I rolled my eyes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they’re scheming up some sort of plan to get us back for the “Express Incident”, as I’ve come to so fondly call it.   
  
Even though Bella and I had positioned ourselves as far away from the fork-charming idiots as possible, it wasn’t hard to see what they were trying to do. Bella gave a snort as she picked up yet another spoon to polish, and called across the hall.   
  
“What a _stupid_ idea! That’s never going to work.”  
  
James turned away from his “project” to face us “Oh. And why not?” he called back, placing his hands on his hips rather femininely.   
  
Bella simply pointed one of her long, pale fingers at the charmed fork behind him, whose rag had fallen off the end and onto the floor, and whose prongs were now scraping against the plate rather dangerously, leaving thin scratch marks along the surface.   
  
“Woah!” James rushed over to place the rag back on the fork.   
  
Bella snorted with laughter, and I couldn’t help but snigger at the idiocy I was witnessing.   
  
“Well, in that case. You two will be here to make sure the rags don’t fall off the ends!” James said with a grin, folding his arms across his chest smugly.   
  
“Ha! In your dreams” I replied with a disbelieving laugh, wondering if he honestly expected us to help him out.   
  
James’ face fell a little and I realised that he indeed did. Moron.   
  
“Well…” he was clearly trying to think up another idea. I rolled my eyes once again and continued polishing the silverware the normal way. We had all agreed to divide the silverware into two halves. James and Sirius took the plates, bowls, and forks. While Bella and I had the goblets, spoons and knives.   
  
I personally thought we got the better half of the agreement.   
  
So while Bella and I had been polishing silverware with our good old hands, like we were supposed to, the idiots over the other side of the Hall had spent the whole time trying to think up spells and tricks that would help them get the job done faster.   
  
First they’d tried to remember the polishing charm that James had once seen his mother using on her own silverware, which went terribly wrong when they tried to re-enact it and only ended up in the plates getting covered in a whole lot of gooey, black liquid. Then they’d run off to the kitchens to try to convince a few of the House Elves to come and help them out.  
   
But when the House Elves showed up and proved that they were more of a nuisance then a help, that idea was soon ditched. And now James had thought up the _genius_ idea of charmed forks. At this rate they were going to be here all night.   
  
“I’ve got it!” Sirius suddenly burst, snapping his fingers in front of James’ hazel eyes, which were hidden behind his black-framed glasses. “You’re Head Boy, right Prongs?”   
  
“Right.” James replied proudly, casting a glance at the shiny badge that was attached to the front of his robes. Bella made a gagging sound.   
  
“So that means that you can order  _them_  to polish these for us. And if they don’t, take away their House Points.” Sirius explained, looking awfully proud of himself as he pushed a few stray strands of black hair out of his eyes.   
  
“Excellent idea, Padfoot.” James replied brightly. “Hey, you two!”   
  
Bellatrix and I looked up at James, who was wearing possibly the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on that stupid face of his.   
  
“I order you to polish these,” he pointed to their pile of silverware “Now.”   
  
We didn’t even bother to waste our breath replying to him. We simply scowled a little, turned our backs on them, and continued polishing. Our pile of silverware had slowly gotten smaller and smaller. With any luck, we’d be out of there within an hour.   
  
I heard a small “I don’t think they’re going to do it, Padfoot.” come from the other side of the room and snorted in disbelief.   
  
Bella scoffed. “Damn right we aren’t doing it. What does he think we are, House Elves?”   
  
“Merlin knows you look enough like one.” The unmistakeable drawl of Sirius Black drifted over to us. The mere sound of his voice was enough to get my temper rising to unbelievable levels. Why did _I_  have to be stuck in the same room with such a vile dirtbag?   
  
“You know, Black, it’s awfully rude to eavesdrop on other peoples conversations.” I spat, in Bella’s defence.   
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s also rather rude to be alive, when clearly no-one wants you here.” he countered with a dark smirk.   
  
I laughed bitterly. “Nice point, Black. So why don’t you do us all a favour and run off and die somewhere.”   
  
That wiped the stupid look off his face.   
  
I sneered and turned to Bella, who was glaring furiously at Sirius. “You know, Bella,” I began, loud enough for the two boys to overhear me. “It amazes me how these buffoons actually managed to pass their O.W.Ls. They’re like a couple of trolls, no wonder Evans has never passed a second glance at Potter.”   
  
I just can’t help myself sometimes, I really can’t.   
  
James’ face began to turn a bright shade of red. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. The malicious look that was now spreading over Bellas face encouraged me on.   
  
“And I hear that’s why Black’s relationships never last over a week. That’s how long it takes for a girl to realise what a complete moron he is,” I added, with a smirk in Sirius’ direction “I, of course, realised it the first time I ever lay eyes on that stupid face of-”   
  
  
CLANG!   
  
  
I was interrupted as a silver blur whizzed past my head only to hit the wall behind me, making a loud, clanging noise against the stone. I looked up at Sirius who was holding another plate in his hands, getting ready to hurl it in my direction. His stormy eyes were narrowed dangerously at me.   
  
“ _Protego_!” I managed to shoot out a quick shield charm before the plate collided with my head.   
  
“Someone’s a little touchy,” I laughed, though rather half-heartedly as I could already see him reaching for another. Still, I carried on “Could it be that he just can’t handle the truth?”   
  
  
CLANG!   
  
  
I dodged just in time as a bowl came flying in my direction and missed by only inches. That was a close one. I noticed Bella had attempted to hide herself behind our pile of silverware, like a barricade. I hated to tell her, but it wasn’t working too well.   
  
I ducked down under the long table, just as I heard another clang in our direction, this one apparently from James who had started yelling all sorts of nasty insults our way.   
  
  
“Dirty, rotten…” CLANG! “…Head up her arse…” CLANG! “… Slytherin scum!” CLANG! CLANG!   
  
  
I peeked out from my hiding spot and saw now that the boys were charming bits and pieces of silverware to launch in our direction.   
  
“You have serious fucking problems, Black!” I shrieked from beneath the table “Maybe if we send you off to St. Mungos you’ll get the help you obviously need!”   
  
“Maybe we should send _you_ off to St. Mungos instead!” Sirius barked in retaliation. “Or better yet, somewhere even further away. Maybe there’s an island in the middle of nowhere where all the little smug-faced bitches get sent to!”   
  
I heard James howl with laughter as they continued charming the silverware in our direction.   
  
“Oh, I can admit that I’m a bitch, but that’s only because I have to deal with arrogant pricks like you everyday! I guess we can’t really blame you for your behaviour, can we Black, you sorry excuse for a wizard,” I spat bitterly, wincing at every new piece of silver that bounced off the stone wall behind me.  
  
“It must have sucked to always come second to your little brother when you were growing up. Perhaps the real reason why your parents disowned you was because they couldn’t stand the sight of your _face_!”   
  
Silence. The sound of flying silverware had stopped completely. Footsteps. I peeked out from under the table once more, just in time to see Sirius storming out of the Great Hall, slamming the doors roughly behind him. James shot us a dirty look before hurrying to follow after his best friend.   
  
“I guess now we know what gets to him the most.” I said to Bella, not being able to stop a small smirk from forming on my lips.   
  
Take that, Sirius Black.  
  
  
  
***  
  
   
I stumbled into the Slytherin common room later that night, thoroughly ready for bed and thankful that our detention from hell was finally over. I haven’t the slightest idea how I’m supposed to make it through the year with Sirius Black as my potions partner.   
  
At the rate we‘re going, one of us isn’t going to make it to the end of the year at all. It was around midnight, so as usual the common room was empty. Or so I thought. I noticed someone sitting in one of the armchairs next to the fire, hunched over a small table that was placed in front of him. The dim, fiery light that the fireplace was emitting was subtly lighting up his features.   
  
Wavy, black hair. Stormy, grey eyes. Regulus.   
  
I guessed then would be a better time than any to talk to him alone.   
  
“I’m off to bed.” Bella mumbled sleepily as she strode past me, rubbing her eyes as she did so.   
  
“Yeah, I’ll be up soon.” I said absentmindedly as I made my way over to where Regulus was sitting. As I moved closer I noticed that he was writing on a piece of parchment that was set on the table in front of him. He looked up at me as I approached and smiled. Not the kind of cruel, mocking smile that I so often saw on the face of his brother. But a gentle one. The kind of smile you save for your friends. I smiled in return as I sat on a nearby couch.   
  
“Homework?” I asked casually as I indicated to the parchment he was writing on.   
  
He gave a small nod “Essay, for Potions”.   
  
I raised my eyebrows. Professor Slughorn was known for setting particularly difficult homework tasks.   
  
“Need any help?” I asked feebly, already knowing what the answer would be.   
  
“I’m alright, thanks. Almost finished”   
  
As I predicted.   
  
“Of course you are” I replied, my smile widening “And let me guess. Rabastan gave up on his essay hours ago and is now tucked up in bed.”   
  
“Correct.” Regulus replied with a knowing grin. “He’ll end up leaving it to the last minute. You know what he’s like.”   
  
“We all do.” I answered with a soft laugh.   
  
I watched Regulus thoughtfully as he went back to scratching away with his quill again. It was amazing how I could adore this guy so much, yet feel so much hatred towards his older brother. How could two people who have had the same kind of upbringing, and look so much alike, end up so different? I guess the same question could be asked about my sister and I. But I already know that the answer to that is because she’s a few ingredients short of a potion, if you know what I mean.   
  
We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes more before I decided to speak again.   
  
“So… has everything been okay with you lately?” I asked, trying to sound casual yet failing miserably.   
  
“Yeah, it’s been fine,” Regulus looked up from his work, his forehead was creased slightly. “Why do you ask?”   
  
Suddenly I felt like more of a mother then a friend, but my priority right now was making sure that he was okay, so I continued “It’s just that you seemed kind of worried about something last night at dinner. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright, that’s all.”   
  
He sighed softly and lay his quill down on top of the table “Oh, that,” he said in a small voice as he sat back in his chair. “It’s nothing”.   
  
I frowned slightly “It’s obviously something, Reg, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting this way. You know you can tell me anything, right?” I assured him gently.  
  
Regulus pushed his hair out of his face before his eyes met mine. “Yeah, I know.” he replied before trailing off.   
  
“So?” I urged him on. I was used to him seeming so solemn all the time, but not like this. It seemed like he was carrying some kind of weight on his shoulders that someone so young shouldn’t have to bear.  
  
He looked down to his feet. “It’s just that I’m worried about you, Alex.” he said firmly.   
  
Huh? Reg is worried about me? I thought I was the one worrying about him.  
  
“What do you mean?” I asked him, utterly confused.   
  
“Well, I’ve always known that you have some kind of feud going on with my brother, I guess I never really thought about it too much. But after what happened the other day, it made me think what if something bad ends up happening?” His eyes met mine once again and I could see how serious he was about this. For the first time in my life, I could actually see that Regulus was afraid.   
  
“Reg,” I began softly “Nothing bad is going to happen. You shouldn’t worry so much.”   
  
Regulus sat forward in his chair with a sudden jolt. “You ended up in the hospital wing, Alex. That’s bad enough!”   
  
I couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape my lips “You’re worried about that? It was only a little scratch, Reg. Black ended up much worse than I did, believe me.” I replied, trying to calm him, but his expression remained unchanged.   
  
“Really? But… he’s okay, right?” he asked quickly, and then flushed slightly at the words that had left his mouth.   
  
I raised an eyebrow at him. Now it was clear. I wasn’t the only one that Regulus was worried about.   
  
“He’s fine. I mean, maybe not mentally, but he‘s not going to die or anything.” I replied reassuringly. Regulus exhaled a little and sat back in his chair again.   
  
“Reg…” I began slowly, choosing my words carefully “You need to stop worrying. Black and I fight, yeah, but it’s not like we’re out to kill each other. I know it must be hard for you, because he’s your brother and all, and I can see that you still care about him, even after everything that’s happened. But I promise you, nothing bad will happen… okay?”   
  
Regulus was staring ahead of him thoughtfully. His expression still looked unchanged. After a few moments silence he looked to me.   
  
“There will be a lot more fighting.” he said quietly, in almost a whisper.   
  
I was confused. Why would there be more fighting?   
  
“What are you talking about?” I asked carefully, not wanting him to close up on me.   
  
“I’m not supposed to talk about it, not many people know about it yet. But there’s this guy…” he trailed off once again, staring into the fireplace.   
  
“What guy? Who is he?” I asked immediately. I had a bad feeling about it.   
  
“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Regulus repeated quickly, and with that he began to pack up his parchment and quills off the table in front of him.   
  
I wanted to know more. I  _needed_  to know more. Who was this guy that had Regulus so scared?   
  
“Reg, talk to me. Who is this _guy_?” I demanded, though my voice sounded more than a little strained.  
  
 “A little late for chit-chat, isn’t it?” I instantly recognized the sleek voice of Lucius that had filled the room.   
  
I turned at once and saw he was standing at the foot of the stairs that led to the boys dormitories, dressed only in a pair of dark pyjama pants. His face was half hidden in the shadows, but his eyes were gleaming forebodingly.  
  
“Lucius, what are you doing up?” I asked casually, though feeling more suspicious than ever.  
  
“I could ask the same to you, Alexandra,” he replied darkly, taking a few steps towards me “I assume your long day has left you tired, perhaps you should go up to bed.”   
  
It wasn’t a question, but more a command.   
  
When I didn’t move Lucius spoke again, but more gently “Please, Alexandra. I need to speak to Regulus. In private.”   
  
I wasn’t too keen to leave, but I knew I didn’t really have a choice. I looked over to Regulus who had once again regained his solemn expression. Silently I began to make my way to the staircase.   
  
“I don’t get a goodnight kiss?”   
  
Lucius took my arm firmly as I passed him. An icy smile on his face, and the kind of look in his eyes that unnerved me. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and said a small “Goodnight” before continuing on. The atmosphere in the room was so cold. I could feel Lucius’ intense stare on my back as I made my way up the staircase and to my dormitory.   
  
Once I had closed the door I hurried straight over to my bed. All the other girls were asleep, as expected. Bellatrix was snoring quietly in the bed next to mine, as she usually did. Once I was safely in bed I drew the dark green curtains around me. I lay in bed for some time thinking about what had happened downstairs. Who was the guy that Regulus was so reluctant to talk about? Why did Lucius need to speak to him in private? And why were they acting so strange. So different.   
  
Something weird was going on. And I planned on finding out what it was.  
  


	8. Mischief Managed

The next morning I awoke with a start. I could feel something warm moving underneath my bed covers. Small, and furry, it was some kind of animal. A rat? No. No-one in Slytherin was permitted by their parents to own something so disgusting. Praying to Salazar that it wasn’t another prank of those brainless Marauders, I sat up groggily and whipped the blankets off my bed to find no more then Violets snow-white cat, Mozzie, lazing around beside my legs, purring contently and rubbing her slimy wet nose all over my skin. Ugh.  
  
I shooed Mozzie away angrily. Damn cat. She was always getting in peoples way, and leaving that disgusting fur of hers all over our clean robes, that she liked to sleep on often. It drove everyone in the room stark raving mad. Except Violet of course, who didn’t seem to be aware that Mozzie was actually of the four-legged species, and not, obviously, human. The way she babied the animal was sickening.  
  
Bella seemed to have it the worse however. Whenever she was within five feet of the beast, she started sneezing and carrying on like a wild Hippogriff with it‘s leg caught in a trap. It didn’t help that Bella seemed to be the only one that Mozzie had taken a natural disliking to. When she started hissing and spitting in Bella’s direction you couldn’t help but wonder if the thing actually sensed the craziness that was radiating off of the girl. I was surprised Bella hadn’t resorted to throwing the thing out the window just yet.  
  
A loud thud came from somewhere nearby.  
  
“Fucking animal! Violet if you don’t get rid of this pest soon, I’m gonna throw it out the nearest window!”  
  
Perhaps I spoke too soon.  
  
I wasn’t surprised to look over and see Mozzie perched on the end of Bellas’ bed, back arched angrily and fur standing on end. Bella had snatched someone’s robe up and was holding it threateningly towards the animal, as if she intended to throw it over top of her.  
  
“Mozzie, no!” Violet shrieked hurriedly as she scooped Mozzie up into her arms, stroking her lovingly whilst casting a wary glance in Bellas direction. Mozzie started purring again immediately and nuzzling her nose against Violets chin.  
  
“What’s with all the noise?” A small voice came from somewhere nearby. In the bed on the other side of mine, Kendra was groggily poking her head out from under the covers, her jade green eyes tiredly looking in our direction. She yawned loudly and pushed her auburn curls out of her eyes. I briefly noticed that Isobel was once again absent, her bed made up perfectly once more.  
  
“Mozzie and Bellatrix were just having another disagreement” Violet whispered to her best friend in reply.  
  
Bella snorted “I heard that, Parkinson, and I meant what I said. If you don’t keep that ball of fur away from me then there’ll be hell to pay”.  
  
I sighed inwardly and pulled my covers up over my head. I hope this wouldn’t become a regular morning occurrence.  
  


***

  
  
  
  
I found myself walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast alone that morning, which was an unnaturally rare occurrence. But Bella was taking longer then usual to get ready today, and was still in a bad mood after her run-in with Violets cat this morning. Besides I had so many thoughts racing around in my head that I wasn’t at all happy to sit around and wait for her all morning, I needed some time to myself to think things over.  
  
It had taken an exceptional number of hours for me to finally drift off to sleep the night before. I still had the incident concerning Regulus and Lucius so fresh in my mind, and it was driving me crazy trying to make sense of it all. The next time I had the chance to speak to Reg alone, I would definitely be a lot more firm in getting some answers out of him.  
  
As I walked along the gloomy corridors that led out of the dungeons I scowled at the portraits I walked past. The inhabitants were so rude, always staring and making unnecessary comments whenever I walked by. There was one portrait of a lone, young wizard that I was particularly wary of. Every time I passed by he had some kind of foul remark just waiting for me. This particular morning I approached to find him dozing against his gilded frame. I snorted scornfully and contemplated sabotaging him in his sleep just for a laugh.  
  
I stared at the small plaque that was situated beneath the antique frame and wrinkled my nose.  
_Deryk Lynch. 1895- 1916_  
Youngest Seeker Ever Admitted To The National Irish Quidditch Team.  
  
Deryk Lynch. It’s funny how in all my years of walking through these corridors I had never known the guys name. But no wonder he was such an arrogant prick, he was a Quidditch player. As for the Irish team, well, that explains the irritating accent. I looked closer at the dates engraved on the plaque. 1895-1916. He was only 21 when he died. I wondered vaguely how it had happened. It was probably some freak Quidditch accident. But why did I care anyway, the guy was a complete git.  
  
Almost directly across from Deryks’ portrait there stood a lavishly decorated full length mirror. I stood in front of it and surveyed my reflection. My dark hair was still a little damp from my shower that morning. It was developing a slight wave as it dried so I quickly pulled it up into a loose ponytail. I leaned closer towards the mirror in order to rub away a little mascara that had smudged in the corner of one of my eyes.  
  
“It doesn’t matter how long you stare at it, unfortunately you‘re stuck with that face for life” Came the familiar drawl of Deryk Lynch behind me.  
  
I whipped around and found that he had awoken, predictably at the worst of times. He was still leaning against the side of his frame, his arms crossed over his chest smugly. His dark eyes held that familiar glitter of mischief, as usual. I glared at him impatiently “Nobody asked for _your_ opinion, not that one of a stupid portrait matters anyway”.  
  
“I see you’re just as pleasant as always this morning” Deryk countered with an annoyingly sly grin. Why in the name of Merlin did everyone in this god-forsaken place seem so determined on disturbing my peace?  
  
“If you don’t mind, I have better things to do then talk to an image of a washed-up Quidditch loser” I snapped huffily before storming off down the corridor and away from Deryks portrait before he could get another word in.  
  


***

  
  
  
  
Once I had taken my seat in the Great Hall I wasn’t surprised at all to find Evan and Rodolphus already shovelling down their second serving of breakfast. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed a piece of toast from the nearest plate.  
  
“Do you think you guys could eat any faster?” I teased.  
  
“We could certainly try” Evan grinned at me between mouthfuls of food.  
  
I poked my tongue out at him briefly before continuing with my breakfast. A few moments later Narcissa joined us at the table, she perched herself next to me and reached across the table to grab an apple from the fruit bowl. Her light blonde hair was pulled back into it’s trademark bun. I noticed her crystal blue eyes still held that distant look that had been haunting them of late. She was looking just as pale and fragile as ever.  
  
“Alright, Cissy?” I asked her casually as she took a small bite from her apple. She simply nodded her head softly in reply.  
  
“Morning, love”  
  
I was momentarily distracted from Narcissa as a familiar, cold hand found it’s way onto my shoulder. I found myself feeling slightly anxious as Lucius took a seat beside me. I had still been thinking about everything that had happened in the common room the night before and was starting to think that perhaps Lucius may not be altogether trustworthy. However, I forced a small smile and was genuinely pleased when he returned the favour.  
  
No sooner had Lucius taken his seat that Narcissa firmly placed her barely eaten apple on the table, before standing up abruptly and walking off without a word. Evan and I glanced fleetingly at each other for a moment, wordlessly speculating the nature of her departure, but after a few seconds merely shrugged it off and assumed she had somewhere else to be.  
  
I wasn’t feeling altogether that hungry this morning, but I took a bite from the piece of toast I was holding anyway, thinking it best not to start the day on an empty stomach.  
  
“So, do you guys have any plans after classes? I was thinking that maybe we could all go hang out by the lake or something. You know, make the most of the warm weather before it‘s too late” I asked the guys casually as I crunched away on my toast.  
  
“Sorry, no can do Alex” Evan replied “We’ve got Quidditch trials this afternoon. Even though half the teams formed already, we still have a few places left to fill. And by the way, guess who made Captain this year” he added as he flashed a grin in Lucius’ direction.  
  
“Really? Well we all knew it’d be you, Lucius! Congratulations” I exclaimed with a quick kiss on Lucius’ cheek.  
  
“Thank you” Lucius replied with a small nod of his head “I’m sure that under my guidance the Slytherin team will succeed in taking the Quidditch Cup yet again this year. It‘s only natural”.  
  
“Of course, of course. As if that was in jeopardy. We have the strongest team for sure, ain’t that right Rod?” Evan boasted proudly as he nudged Rodolphus, who was still busy scoffing down his breakfast so merely grunted in agreement “Slytherin has taken the Cup the past four years in a row, there’s no doubt that we’re gonna make it a fifth time!”  
  
“And you know that Bella and I are always keen on taking out the other teams players beforehand, just to make things even easier for you of course” I added with a wink.  
  
Evan let out a low chuckle “That’s my girl. You know, we have double Defence first thing this morning. I’m sure Professor Keyes wouldn’t mind too much if we skipped it and hung out in that secret common room on the seventh floor instead” He suggested “I’m not sure he notices anything once he starts rambling on about his precious Dark Arts. Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna miss out on anything we don’t already know”.  
  
“Good idea” Rodolphus said as he lay his knife and fork down on the table on front of him and leaned back in his chair comfortably “I’m sick of listening to those bloody Gryffindors’ complaining every lesson”  
  
I nodded in agreement “Well I’m keen. And I know Bella will be too. How about you Lucius?”  
  
“I don’t see why not. Defence class has surely taken on a certain dullness thus far” Lucius replied grimly.  
  
“Only because we‘ve been teaching ourselves that stuff since we were eleven“ I smirked “Anyway, let me go and track down Bella and we’ll meet you guys up on the seventh floor soon” I said as I gave Lucius a peck on the lips and went in search of my best friend.  
  


***

  
  
  
  
Evan and Rodolphus were already lazing around on the sofas in front of the fire when Bella and I entered the room. The room that we refer to as the secret common room was merely just a smaller, somewhat cosier version of our own Slytherin Common Room, decorated in all green and silver. And apparently one that only we happened to know about. Evan and Rodolphus had stumbled across it one day when they were skipping class and were searching for an empty classroom to spend their time in. This room served to be a perfect choice.  
  
“Where’s Lucius?” I asked when I noticed his absence.  
  
“Said something bout going to talk to Severus, then he’d meet us here later” Rodolphus replied offhandedly.  
  
Bella hurried over to sit next to Rodolphus, while I moved towards the other sofa and plonked myself down right on top of Evans outstretched legs.  
  
“Hey” Evan shouted in protest “This space is occupied, if you don’t mind”  
  
“Move it or lose it, buddy” I smirked at him, earning one of those perfectly charming smiles from him in response as he moved his long legs to make space for me on the sofa next to him.  
  
“Hey guys., look what I managed to snatch off Avery earlier this morning” Rodolphus announced as he pulled a small, clear bag out of his robe pocket which contained a silvery-white powder of some sort, and passed it over to Evan and I to take a closer look at. Lance Avery was a sixth year Slytherin who hung out with us every now and then, but preferred mostly to keep to himself. He was well known among the students for messing around with mind-altering substances and the like.  
  
“Nice score, man! What kind of price was Avery asking for this?” Evan asked as he admired the bag of powder he was holding in his hands.  
  
“Discount price for his best customer of course, only seventeen Galleons and three Sickles. And it’s top of the line stuff as well!”  
  
I snatched the bag out of Evans hands to take a closer look at the “top of the line“ product. It shimmered faintly in the light as I surveyed it. There was definitely something magical about it.  
  
“You paid seventeen Galleons for barely a spoonful of something that looks like a bloody cosmetic product!” Bella shrieked at Rodolphus, clearly unpleased at her boyfriends splurge.  
  
“It‘s not a cosmetic product!” Rodolphus said in defence “It’s called Pixie Dust. It’s not actually pixie dust though, I think it’s some part of a unicorn, though I can‘t be too sure which part. But that would explain why the price is so high and why it’s so bloody hard to get a hold of. Don’t ask me how Avery manages to sneak it into the castle, that boy is not one to let up his secrets so easily” he finished with a grin.  
  
“I can’t believe you actually managed to get a hold of it, I haven’t seen this stuff in about four years!” Evan exclaimed excitedly “This will surely brighten things up, eh girls?”  
  
I raised my eyebrows at him “I’ve heard about this stuff before. Doesn’t it, like seriously fuck up your mind and make you see all kinds of spooky stuff?” I asked warily. The previous stories I’d heard about this Pixie Dust had not been good ones.  
  
“Only if taken in huge amounts” Rodolphus assured me quickly “But taken in small doses, it’s guaranteed to add a serious kick to your day” he grinned.  
  
Bella snorted loudly “Count me out. I’m not a spokesman for animal cruelty or anything, but hacking up unicorns just to add a “kick” to your day isn’t something I’m into” she said severely.  
  
“I agree” I said with a nod of my head “Besides I gotta be in the right state of mind for Charms this afternoon if I plan on beating our dear Head Girl at the only subject she’s any good at” I added, earning a shriek of laughter from Bella.  
  
“Aww, you’re no fun” Evan sulked and tickled me on the side lightly. I laughed loudly and pushed his hand away roughly.  
  
Rodolphus shook his head disapprovingly but still had a smile on his face “What do you two suggest we do for fun then?”  
  
An hour or so after convincing Rodolphus to fetch us one of the bottles of the Firewhiskey he kept stashed under his bed in the boys’ dormitory, Bella and I found ourselves huddled on one of the sofas together, while Evan and Rodolphus enjoyed a not so successful game of Wizards Chess. It was quite entertaining watching them drunkenly moving the pieces around the board. They had both hexed a fair few of the others pieces, blowing them square off the board, with Rodolphus once trying to hex Evan because he was convinced he had been cheating.  
  
I hadn’t really played a lot of Wizard Chess, but I’m pretty sure that hexing the other player was not part of the original rules. Nor was “drowning” chess pieces in glasses of Firewhiskey.  
  
Bella gave me a small nudge in the side and whispered quietly “I wonder where Lucius has gotten too?”  
  
I had been thinking that myself. He had said he was going to talk to Severus. I wonder what about? I couldn’t help but notice how strange Lucius had been acting since we arrived back at Hogwarts. It had only been a few days but he was suddenly so distant… as if he constantly had other things on his mind. Things that he wasn’t at all keen on sharing with me.  
  
I remember when we had first gotten together, nearing the end of sixth year. Lucius had been so sweet and attentive, he had always treated me like I was the only thing that mattered in life. We had been friends for a long time beforehand, so when we started our relationship it was like taking something good and making it great.  
But now… things were starting to change, and I knew there was something behind it. I couldn’t help but think about what Regulus had been saying, about this guy…  
  
I didn’t know who this guy was, or even his name, but my gut was telling me that the answers to my questions lay within finding out his identity. 

***

_So you most probably have noticed. . . no Sirius in this chapter!! Well I just wanted to do a chapter to get to know Alex and how she interacts with her friends more because it's important to show the bond that they have right now. Anyway please please review, the next chapter will be out before long and never fear! There will be a lot more Sirius in the next one. . ._


	9. Leave Me Breathless

  
  
“Now class, have any of you heard of the Gemino Curse?”   
  
The slim, pale hand of our “beloved” Head Girl shot up in the air almost immediately.   
  
“Ah, Miss Evans, I knew you would” Squeaked Professor Flitwick cheerily from atop a pile of books at the front of our Charms classroom. His dark, beady eyes peered out from his tiny round spectacles as he scanned the rest of the class. I waved my hand in the air lazily, as did a few other people around the room. It came as no surprise when the next words to leave the petite Professors mouth were “Would you care to explain the purpose of the Gemino Curse to the class, Miss Evans”.   
  
“Certainly, Professor” I rolled my eyes as Lily Evans cleared her voice before addressing the class “The Gemino Curse causes the target object to multiply a number of times when touched. I believe it’s often used as a security device”   
  
“Right you are, Miss Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor for your answer” Professor Flitwick beamed at the fiery-haired girl, who could hardly conceal the smile she was wearing on her own face. I scoffed loudly, causing Lily to turn in her seat and glare at me spitefully. I made an obscene hand gesture at the red-head before she turned back to face the Professor.   
  
“The Gemino Curse is indeed a highly effective security device” Flitwick was further explaining “I’ve heard rumours that the most precious of treasures that are stored in the vaults of Gringotts Bank are protected by this curse. It is a rather effective way of warding off would-be thieves.   
  
  
However, we cannot forget that this spell is indeed, a curse. It can be very, very dangerous if used incorrectly. So it is not the Gemino Curse we will be looking at today, but rather a more prudent alternative. A Charm with the name of _Geminio_.   
Capable of duplicating an object only once, the Geminio Charm can come in quite handy in times of need. Now if you would please take out your quills, we’ll start the class with a few basic notes”   
  
I sighed and rested my head on the hard desk in front of me. I wish for once Flitwick would take a risk and teach us something that was actually interesting for a change. I mean come on, the Geminio Charm? That has to be at least fourth year stuff. And not to mention, utterly useless.   
  
   
  
I didn’t even bother pulling my quill and ink out from my bag. Unlike prissy little Head Girl Evans, I could master this charm without some useless notes. Beside me, Bella was frantically scribbling away on her parchment.   
   
On the other side, Severus was doing pretty much the same as I was. Looking utterly bored. Lucius, Evan and Rodolphus hadn’t decided to take Charms this year, they took as minimal classes as possible so they could have all the time they could get to work on their Quidditch skills.   
  
I leaned back in my seat and sighed once more. I was still feeling the effects of the Firewhisky that we had drunken earlier, and besides that I really wasn’t in the mood for this class today. I almost stormed right out of the room when I had found out we had Charms with the Gryffindors yet again this year. A year of watching Lily Evans ass-kissing the Professor of her top subject was almost as bad as a year of being Potion partners with Sirius Black. Almost.   
  
Though the class this year was predominantly made up of Gryffindors, I was delighted to see that Serenity hadn‘t made an appearance. She never really did have a talent for Charms, however. Her strengths lay more in the art of Divination and Herbology. You know, subjects that didn’t require much logic.   
  
The Dreadful Duo, however, happened to be conveniently sitting in the row directly behind Lily Evans and her friends, along with the other members of their posse, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius, it seemed, had returned to his usual aggravating disposition. I winkled my nose in disgust as I watched him and James tossing Bertie Botts Beans at the girls in front of them who were wriggling around in their seats, attempting to look annoyed but not doing very well at hiding the fact that they were loving the attention from the two morons. All of them except Lily that is, who was desperately trying to ignore the flurry of beans that were bouncing all over the parchment in front of her.   
  
By then I had had enough. I wasn’t gonna waste the next hour of my life surrounded by a bunch of uncivilised monkeys. I grabbed my bag from under the table as quietly as possible and nudged Bella roughly.   
  
“Let’s get outta here” I whispered harshly and received an enthusiastic nod in reply.   
  
“Wanna come with us, Sev?” I asked the raven-haired boy, knowing full well what the answer would be. A small shake of the head. Skipping class was never really Severus’ thing, nor something that he wholly approved of.   
  
“Suit yourself” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. I waited for a minute or two until Flitwork had turned back around to scribble some notes on the blackboard at the front of the classroom, then me and Bella snatched up our bags and crept along the row to the door as quietly as possible, hoping not to catch the Professors, or those pesky Gryffindors, attention.   
  
Once we were safely out of the room I sighed heavily and tossed my bag strap casually over one shoulder.   
“Praise Salazar we didn’t have to put up with Evans and Flitwicks little love affair with Charms any longer. I seem to get an unnaturally strong urge to regurgitate whenever I hear that red-headed two-shoes receiving his praise”.   
  
Bella nodded her head in agreement. “Flitwick is a brainless midget if he thinks Evans is such the star he seems to. She’s nothing but a slimy little worm. Too bad we always have to be around to witness his stupidity”   
  
“It seems as if Lady Luck is not on our side this year, my dearest friend” I recited in my best “Dumbledore” voice as I slung my arm around the slim girls’ shoulders.   
  
“Hear, hear” Came a voice behind us from someone that was clearly not of the female species.   
  
I cringed inside. Who are the only people in Hogwarts that would stalk around behind Bella and I in the corridors after we had successfully managed to slip out of Charms class, seemingly not as unnoticed as we had hoped.   
  
You guessed it. Sirius Black and James Potter.   
  
Thinking that I had had enough of these two’s antics to last a lifetime, and was honestly not in the mood for another confrontation with them today, I turned around reluctantly. To my surprise their snivelling little friend, Peter Pettigrew, had decided to be a “rebel” for once and tag along with the two of them today. Oh, joy.   
  
“I’ll have you two know that cutting class at Hogwarts is a crime wholly worthy of punishment, and is severely frowned upon by authority figures, like myself” James recited proudly.   
  
I rolled my eyes, he was playing the “Look-At-Me-I’m-Head-Boy” card again. As if we didn’t already know. Or care.  
  
“Uh, well if we’re cutting class then what do you idiots think you’re doing?” Bella replied icily, sounding just as fed up with the two of them as I was.   
  
“Merely upholding the law, dear cousin” Sirius drawled, earning a hiss of dislike from Bella.   
  
“In that case I’ll have you know, Black, that you and your little rodent of a friend, Pettigrew, aren’t exactly in any position to be upholding that law” I spat, but Sirius still continued smirking at me darkly.   
  
“Yes, but I am” James countered coolly. Peter stayed quiet but was watching the exchange with a look of pure delight etched upon his disgusting face “And because of that I’m fully entitled to take away 50 points from Slytherin. Each”   
  
Just as I was preparing to muster up a come-back worthy enough to wipe the infuriating look of triumph off of James' face, I felt something soft brush up against my left ankle. Looking down I noticed that damn beast of the Hogwarts caretaker, Mr Filch, staring up at me through her demonic-red eyes, and immediately knew that wherever this cat appeared, trouble followed in the form of her lunatic owner.   
  
The cat let out a loud meow, obviously a summons to her master to let him know that trouble was afoot.   
  
Surely enough, not even a few seconds later we heard the gruff reply of the caretaker.   
  
“Mrs Norris? What have you found lurking around in the corridors, my dear” Filch was just around the corner behind us, his footsteps echoing on the cold stone floor as he moved closer.   
  
“Shit!” Bella hissed quietly and without a moments hesitation we were off, running straight past the boys in front of us and around the nearest corner. Heavy footsteps from behind us seconds later told us that the boys hadn’t waited much longer before following our lead.   
  
“Hurry up, Bella!” I growled as I chanced a look behind me to see Bella slowing down a little. James and Sirius had swiftly passed her and were now pulling up beside me. I looked behind me once more just in time to see Bella shoving Pettigrew into the nearest wall and couldn’t help but suppress a chuckle.   
  
   
  
As I turned the next corner I spotted a door to the left of me. Hoping it would be an empty classroom or some sort I reached for the doorknob. But all at the same time another hand came down on mine heavily and I pulled back in alarm. Sirius pulled his hand back just as hastily as I had my own.   
  
I scowled. No way was he taking _my_ hiding spot. Almost as if Sirius had been thinking the exact same thing we both rushed for the door, pushing each other aside roughly as we did. Finally Sirius elbowed me aside and opened the door sharply. As he did I managed to slip in swiftly before he slammed the door shut.   
  
Thinking that once we were inside the room I could lock the door hurriedly then proceed to wait in the furthest corner possible from Sirius until Filch and that repulsive feline of his had passed by, I was horrified to find out how incredibly wrong I was. The room was not much of a class as it was a closet. And a very small and dark closet at that. As I turned around I smacked straight into Sirius’ broad chest. He pushed me back against the door forcefully.   
  
“Get outta here!” he barked viciously “I got here first”   
  
“Excuse me but my hand touched the door first so either YOU get out or you’ll end up with a foot where your face used to be” I countered as I extracted my wand from my pocket and shoved it in his face, which was barely an inch away from my own.   
  
In an instant I was met by a sharp prod in the forehead which I took to mean he had whipped his own wand out as well., though they were virtually useless as the lack of space and light didn’t allow a lot of room to aim a successful curse.   
  
“Ouch!” I shrieked angrily “You fucking idiot!” I shoved Sirius into the wall which was only a few inches behind him and heard a loud clanging noise as his leg collided with a metal object of some sort, probably a pail.   
  
“Bitch!” he snarled in return and attempted a curse which missed terribly and bounced off the wall in a flash of red light. In my haste to dodge the curse I had knocked into a broom which had fallen into me and served only to aggravate me more. I grabbed the broom furiously and swung it in Sirius’ direction as best as I could. A loud thump and groan of pain meant the broom had successfully made contact with some part of him. Just as I was about to swing the broom again, Sirius’ hand lashed out and he pulled the handle out of my hands roughly. I had just started screaming at him once more when all of a sudden he clamped his hand against my mouth fiercely, forcing me against the wall yet again.   
  
“Shut up!” He whispered harshly and I could tell why when I heard a loud meow coming from just outside the door moments later. I immediately stomped on Sirius’ foot to make him release his hand from my mouth. His forehead collided with my shoulder as he winced in pain sharply which made me instinctively push him away from me again.   
  
Sirius grabbed my arms and pinned me against the wall violently.   
  
“Stay still and for the love of Godric shut the fuck up” he whispered dangerously. I struggled for a few seconds against him but when I heard footsteps approaching I froze instantly. Another meow came from the other side of the door, followed by loud purring.   
  
“What have you found there, my love? Those trouble-makers no doubt. Hiding behind this door, you say?” Filch cooed and chuckled darkly. I quietly thanked Salazar that I had thought to lock the door behind me, I’d be seriously pissed off if I had to go through anymore detentions this week.   
  
Sirius flinched as Filch rattled the doorknob and I was only then aware of how close his body was to mine. Not that there was a lot of room to move around in here, and Sirius wasn’t exactly slim built. He was a Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, along with Colin Creedy, or “Colin Creepy” as we Slytherins liked to call him. And along with his fit Quidditch physique there was also his strength. His hands had loosened slightly but were still firmly pinning my wrists to the wall. I didn’t think I’d be able to free them no matter how much I wanted to. Which was a lot. I mean, I was stuck in a closet with my most hated enemy, of course I wanted to escape.   
  
“Clever trouble-makers at that” Filch snarled quietly outside the door, then proceeded to thump away on the hard wood “There’s no use hiding, I know you’re in there! If you come out right now, I promise to go easy on you” the old man wheezed.   
  
Yeah right, you deluded old Squib. I wonder how many students that particular tactic has worked on. My guess. . . None.   
  
Sirius’ grip on my arms relaxed a little more as he shifted around a bit. I was slowly growing more and more uncomfortable at the lack of space between us.   
  
The thumping on the door started growing louder “You come out here right now! You hear me? Or I’ll. . . I’ll. . .   
  
You’ll what? Cough on us? Tell us we ought to be taught a lesson? Been there before, mate. . .   
  
“I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands. . .”   
  
My face was so close to the crook of Sirius’ neck I could actually smell some kind of cologne radiating off of his skin. It was starting to make me feel nauseous.   
  
“. . . Perhaps a good whipping like how we used to do it in the old days. . .”   
  
I shuddered slightly as his hot breath tickled the side of my face, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Oh, how he repulsed me.   
  
“. . . My detentions used to be so well feared, when I first started at Hogwarts. . .”   
  
My hands started shaking as he adjusted his grip on my arms. How could I be in such close proximity of this vile being.   
  
“. . . The students were so much more courteous back then. . .”   
  
The loud pounding of my heart was echoing in my ears.   
  
“. . . Would never ever dream about skulking around the castle when they weren’t supposed to”   
  
It’s all too much, I have to get out of here.   
  
“Well then, Mrs Norris. It looks like we’re not going to get much cooperation here”   
  
I can’t breathe.   
  
“Wait here, my pet, while master fetches the keys from his office. We wouldn’t want these students to get away without a good whipping now would we. The Headmaster will never know”   
  
Mrs Norris meowed obediently as Filch finally wandered away chuckling to himself, his footsteps growing fainter until finally all we could hear was Mrs Norris scratching against the door and meowing softly.   
  
“Would you let go of me!” I started struggling against Sirius’ grip once again. As soon as he dropped his hands I reached for the door desperately.   
  
“Wait!” Sirius cried while pulling my arm back roughly again “We can’t go out yet, that damn cat will keep following us until Filch catches up”.   
  
I scoffed and replied derisively as I snatched my arm back “Unlike some of us, I’m not overly fond of hanging around in stuffy closets” Although I couldn’t see through the pitch black I just knew that Sirius was glaring at me for the thousandth time that day which made me smirk contentedly “But if you wanna stay in here and wait for Filch to come back, then be my guest. I’m sure you two could find something fun to do in here” I laughed softly to myself and opened the door, to which Mrs Norris started meowing loudly once more. After aiming a quick stunning spell in her direction, I strutted off down the corridor, intending to head straight to the shower and wash the Gryffindor stench off of me.


	10. Into Darkness

My second detention with Sirius Black that evening passed by rather uneventfully. Professor Slughorn it seems was not in a very imaginative mood on this particular day so he had simply set us the task of copying out the schools motto “Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus”, which translates simply as “Never tickle a sleeping dragon”, one thousand times on the supplied parchment as we sat in the empty potions classroom. 

It was an absurd task if you ask me, seeing as how I felt slightly irritated whenever I was reminded of our schools ridiculous motto. I’d like to know who the mad person was that came up with it in the first place. My best guess would be some distant relative of Albus Dumbledore, who we all know is about as sane as a tap-dancing Hippogriff. 

Why on earth did Hogwarts feel the vital need to warn their students against this? I mean, what complete fool would ever tickle a sleeping dragon? It was times like these I started to think that maybe I should have embraced my mother’s threat of sending me to Beauxbatons, who I bet has a motto which their students can actually be proud of. 

Surprisingly, Sirius didn’t utter a single word the whole time we were in detention. Not even during the half hour Professor Slughorn left us to ourselves while he ran off to the Great Hall to have supper. He seemed simply content to finish the task at hand without a fuss. 

I was more than a tad suspicious of his sudden change in character, though thankful nonetheless. I assumed it was simply the absence of his best friend that seemed to diminish his mood. 

Being the first to finish writing out the thousand lines, I handed my parchment to Slughorn and hurried out of the class, eager to get back to the Slytherin common room. 

I noticed it was a little colder than usual this night as I stepped out of the classroom door and starting pacing down the dull stone corridors. A sure sign that summer had ended and was making way for autumns chill. Feeling slightly foolish for wearing only a short-sleeved top and skirt that barely reached my knees; I hugged my arms to myself tightly to keep the warmth as I continued on. 

As I made my way up to the corner which turned to an abrupt dead end, in which stood a great stone snake marking the entrance to the Slytherin common room, I stopped sharply before going any further. I could hear voices just around the bend ahead, speaking low, in hasty whispers. I leaned my back up against the cool, stone wall, listening carefully in time to hear a familiar male voice speak. 

“You should feel honoured by the invitation” The voice said swiftly. I could easily sense a hint of annoyance in the tone “He despises half-bloods almost as much as he does muggles. But I have convinced him that you have skills that are perhaps better than any pureblood here in this castle”. 

It only took me an instant to recognise the sleek voice that belonged to Lucius. 

I listened more intently, as the second voice spoke up, a little nervously. 

“What makes you think I want to meet him. I’ve heard rumours of him and his followers. He’s been suspected as the cause of all those strange murders that have happened lately. How do you know you’re safe with him?” 

“It is so very gracious of him to agree to this meeting” Lucius replied sternly, ignoring the question “He only wants the same thing we all do. To take our rightful place as the superiors above the useless and dirty-blooded witches and wizards below us” 

“Not all who aren’t pure blooded are useless” The second voice, which I had now distinguished as Severus’ argued “Take Lily Evans for example. She’s one of the top students in our year, better than half of the Slytherins we know!” he protested. 

“Lily Evans is a dirty, disgusting Mudblood!” Lucius spat angrily. The harshness of his voice was incredibly menacing. I had never before heard him speak like this. 

“She should never have been allowed to step foot within Hogwarts” he added coldly. 

“That’s not true” Severus whispered harshly. His voice sounded strained in his desperate attempt to contain his rage. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. Once he has obtained total power, all those filthy Mudbloods will be too afraid to even show their faces in public” Lucius said darkly. 

“And what about the Muggles?” Severus’ asked. I could still sense the anger in his voice. 

“They will be disposed of” Lucius replied casually “They have no place in our world” 

I gasped in alarm at the remark and forced my hand over my mouth hastily, afraid I’d be caught out listening in on the argument. However the two continued on. 

“That’s ridiculous!” Severus exclaimed “You’re asking me to join a band of thugs and murderers. What makes you think I want to be a part of that?” 

“I will not have you making me look like a fool, Severus!” Lucius spat impatiently”We all quest for power, and this is the man who I have no doubt will lead us to it. I’ve seen what the Dark Lord is capable of. Magic more powerful then we have ever dreamed of. And he is willing to share it with us all. . . to teach us. It would be unwise for you to turn this opportunity down. This is not a man to make enemies with” he said darkly. 

I was deprived of hearing any more of the conversation, however, as I heard a new pair of voices coming from behind me. As I turned around I saw a couple of younger girls, presumably first years, walking in my direction, talking animatedly as they did. They hadn’t noticed me standing at the corner, so I took the opportunity to fake a loud yawn and continue around the corridor to where Severus and Lucius were standing. 

Sev looked angry, and pale; he was glaring at the floor spitefully. I knew how he was feeling. Listening to what Lucius had been saying had made me feel sick to my stomach. The man he had been describing, this “Dark Lord” sounded not like any man but more a monster. 

It took all of my will to force the most genuine smile I could as I approached them. 

“Hey, guys” I said cheerily, trying desperately to cover up the fact that I had just been prying into their disturbing, private conversation merely a second ago. 

Lucius looked a little surprised as he turned to face me, but he quickly composed himself and pursed his thin lips into an icy smile “Alexandra” he said lowly “Finished detention already, love?” 

I nodded softly as he reached for my hand, which I gave him somewhat reluctantly. As he pulled me closer to him I once again felt a sudden tenseness wash over me. His eyes were cold, and distant. As he stared at me I felt like I was looking back into the eyes of a stranger and I instantly realised that this wasn’t the Lucius I knew at all. Who was this man who talks so freely of joining with a murderous Dark Lord and disposing of Muggles like they’re some kind of pest? 

Severus turned abruptly to face the stone snake which hissed “Passssssword”. He spoke the password, which was “Basilisk” and as soon as the large snake had uncoiled it’s long tail to allow passage into the common room he hurried off, without another word. 

“What’s wrong with Sev?” I asked Lucius, attempting to sound sincerely concerned as I couldn’t help but feel like I was presently in the midst of a dangerous situation. 

Lucius had his icy eyes fixed on me harshly, making me feel as if he could see right through me and my facade.

“I suspect he’s had a long day, and simply needs a good night rest” he replied carelessly. I didn’t even need to recognise that his eyes had flickered to the side as he was speaking, to know that he was lying. 

I nodded my head in mock understanding before also entering the common room and surveying the scene. There were a few people scattered here and there. 

Bellatrix, I noticed, was fast asleep in one of the large chairs nearest the fireplace, with her head leaning against Rodolphus’ large shoulder. Rod himself looked to me like he was heading in the same direction, his dark eyes slowly drooping shut. I remembered that he, along with Evan and Lucius had had Quidditch practice that afternoon which was probably why he looked so exhausted. 

Rabastan and Evan were deep in concentration over a game of wizards’ chess, while Regulus spetacted intently. Narcissa once again seemed to be absent. 

Scarcely anyone noticed our arrival, which at this moment in time I was grateful for, as I was not at all in a talkative mood. There was nothing I wanted more than to run upstairs and hide away from the world while I tried to make sense of all the thoughts that were bouncing around in my head. 

“I think I’ll head up to bed. It’s been a long day” I said truthfully as I turned back to Lucius, who to my surprise, smiled at me warmly in return and squeezed my hand affectionately. For the briefest moment I forgot all about the conversation I had overheard in the cold, stone corridors of the dungeon. 

The stranger that had been here a second ago had vanished, and my Lucius stood in front of me once again, with his eyes glowing warmly in the light of the nearby fire. I found myself not having to force my smile as I said goodnight and left him standing in the warmth of the common room and made my way up to my dormitory 

However, as I was getting ready for bed I once again found myself falling deep into my own thoughts. Was the man that Lucius and Severus had been talking about the same one that Regulus had seemed to be so afraid of last night? Lucius had referred to him as the Dark Lord, and called him the man who would lead them to power. 

But how would he gain this power. By killing those who he thinks to be below him? Surely Lucius knew that that was wrong. He would never get involved with anyone who thought like that. 

But the things he had said... 

I sighed heavily as I lay back on my bed. It troubled me to think that Lucius would want to be associated with a person like this Dark Lord. I hoped with all my heart that I could find a way to snap him out of this mindset before it was too late. 

***

The next day I woke up in a better mood than the night before, and was glad to find that at breakfast everyone seemed to be in the same state of mind. The first Quidditch match of the season, which would be between Slytherin and Gryffindor, was just confirmed to be held in the second week of November. And although it was almost five weeks away, the boys’ were brimming with excitement, busying themselves with discussing various new tactics they’d like to try out against the Gryffindor team, who they deem to be their biggest rivals. 

Severus, Rabastan and Regulus, who weren’t in the team, but were huge supporters nonetheless, were openly offering ideas. And even Cissy, who although wasn’t saying alot, as usual, looked genuinely interested in the conversation. 

The Slytherin vs. Gryffindor matches were always certain to be huge events within Hogwarts, mostly because everyone knew how rough the two teams played against each other. That and the fact that they were guaranteed to witness definite injuries on the field. Any Quidditch fans dream, really. 

It didn’t take long to realise that I had made an unfortunate mistake by sitting between Lucius and Evan this morning, as Evan tended to get over-excited about anything that involved Quidditch or food. He was waving his arms around and imitating some ridiculous looking broom-flying while explaining his latest move to Rod, who was sitting across from him and nodding eagerly. 

I was getting knocked around an awful lot in the process, though I couldn’t help but laugh at Evans enthusiasm. I shoved him playfully after he had accidently elbowed me in the arm for the fifth time that morning. 

The Great Hall was almost empty before we decided to leave for our first class of the morning, which much to our dismay, was History of Magic. We said goodbye to Regulus, Rabastan and Narcissa in the Entrance Hall, as they had Herbology out in the greenhouses, and the rest of us made our way up to our classroom. 

We didn’t bother hurrying to class, as usual. Particularly with History of Magic it never mattered if anyone showed up late, because once Professor Binns started droning on, you could set off a bunch of fireworks right in the middle of the classroom and I’m certain he wouldn’t so much as blink one of his ghostly eyes. 

Just as well because as we reached the top of the marble staircase to the first floor, we found none other than James Potter and Lily Evans, in the middle of what seemed to be a rather heated argument. 

“What do we have here. Lovers quarral?” Bella mocked with a laugh, causing Lily and James to stop abruptly, as they had apparently not noticed our presence before now. 

Lily scoffed loudly “If you don’t mind, this is a private conversation. Move along” her emerald, green eyes glared at Bella, who simply let out another high-pitched laugh. 

“James Potter. Just the person we wanted to see” Lucius strolled up to the pair, ignoring Lily’s previous comment “Without your precious sidekick today I see”. 

No sooner had the words left his mouth, that Sirius Black himself strutted around the corner, whining at James annoyingly to hurry up. Until he noticed us standing there, of course. 

“What’s going on?” he asked darkly while looking between James and Lucius, sensing the obvious tension. 

“Perfect timing, Black” Evan sneered as he stepped up beside Lucius “You see, we’ve heard you’ve been messing with our girls” 

I grinned darkly as Sirius shot me a fierce glare, and took a few steps back. This time, it was the boys fight. 

“And we’ll have you know, that we don’t approve of that at all” Rodolphus added, as he pulled out his wand from his robe. 

Almost immediately, Sirius and James did the same. 

“Maybe if “your girls” could learn to stop being such arrogant, little bitches, then we’d have no reason to mess with them” James said derisively, before glaring at Bella and adding “Though I highly doubt the chance of that ever happening”. 

“Well now, that’s not very polite of you to say at all” Lucius drawled as he pulled out his own wand. 

Severus hovered back a bit beside me and Bella. Fighting wasn’t something he particularly liked, though he was all for watching James Potter and Sirius Black get they’re pathetic arses kicked. 

“Go and find McGonagall” James growled lowly to Lily, before pointing his wand in Lucius face. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Lucius warned menacingly, whether to James or Lily, I didn’t know. 

Lily, however, had only taken a few steps before Rodolphus flicked his wand lazily, sending a nice Body-Bind Curse her way. 

Bella shrieked in delight as Lilys body went completely rigid, causing her to fall flat on her face. I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh myself. That would teach her not to be such a prat.

In an instant, Sirius and James had both raised their wands. Though they were clearly out-numbered, it didn’t seem to phase them. 

“You shouldn’t have done that” Sirius snarled lowly, before starting with a perfect Disarming spell in Rodolphus’ direction which had knocked his wand clean out of his hand. While Rod ducked away to reclaim it, Evan didn’t hesitate to step up and continue the duel with Sirius. 

Never one to stand on the sidelines, Bella couldn’t help but jump right in to cast a Summoning charm on a nearby stool, which she then used to send hurtling in Sirius direction, though he successfully produced a Shield charm in time to counter it. Rodolphus, by then had then returned, wand in hand, and sent some kind of curse at Sirius which knocked him clean off his feet. 

I laughed loudly, earning a fierce glare from Sirius as he got to his feet swiftly. 

Over on the other side, Lucius had just cast a pretty nasty Blasting curse at a small chandelier that was situated on the roof directly above James, which came plunging down towards him so fast that he barely had time to jump out of the way. 

Severus and I had been watching so intently from the sidelines, along with a few other people that had left the Great Hall after us and had stopped to watch the conflict, that we were startled upon hearing a large voice boom “ENOUGH!” from right behind us. 

Professor Dumbledore was striding up the stairs with great speed, looking awfully unhappy. 

“Abusing the use of magic, in this place of learning, is strictly prohibited” Dumbledore growled as he hurried over to remove the Body-Bind charm that Rod had cast on Lily. One he had determined that she was alright, he turned back to us all. “This will not go unpunished. All you who are involved-“He indicated to Lucius, Evan, Rodolphus, Bella, Sirius and James “Head to my office now. The rest of you, please get to class immediately” 

I growled lowly and said to Severus “Damn Dumbledore. Always ruining our fun”

After Dumbedore had turned swiftly and left, Sirius marched right up to me. I could see by the look in his stormy-grey eyes that he was absolutely fuming. 

“I knew you’d run straight off to those gits you call “friends”. Why don't you try fighting your own battles for once instead of manipulating someone else into doing it for you” he growled dangerously before turning and heading off to Dumbledore’s office along with the rest of those involved. 

I rolled my eyes. He really didn’t know when to stop, did he? 

If he wanted so much for me to fight my own battle, then next time, that’s exactly what I would do. And he had better watch out.


	11. Secret

"I was stuck in detention all weekend because of you” Sirius Black whispered harshly - his sharp stare piercing me.

We were in Potions, and I of course was stuck sitting beside my idiotic Potions partner, reluctantly listening to him blame me for his “weekend from hell”.

“It was hardly my fault” I scoffed in return. And that was the truth, it wasn't my fault. 

I had had a pretty dull weekend myself, seeing as how most of my friends had been stuck in detention themselves, thanks to the little dispute in the Entrance Hall last week. So Severus and I had used the time instead to test out a few of the, rather non-curricular, new spells he had come up with. I must say, he's quite inventive. A good number of trees around Hogwarts grounds looked a little worse for wear after we had finished with them. Not that Sirius would ever care about my weekend. No, he was much more content to drone on about his own.

“And anyway, did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't actually care that you had to scrub floors all weekend” I added, having learned from Bella exactly what their punishment had been. I was perfectly aware how infuriating my disinterest was to Sirius, and it forced my lips to curl into a satisfied smile.

“You had better watch your back, snake. I've got a score to settle with you” He spat as he pushed his dark hair out of his eyes, and continued to glare at me distastefully.

I rolled my eyes and replied sarcastically “Oh, I'm so scared” before turning my attention back to Professor Slughorn.

In today’s class we were to attempt the Scintillation Solution. I leaned my head against my hand lazily as we waited for Slughorn to finish writing the recipe up on the blackboard. For some strange reason, he preferred to do this the muggle way, using a piece of chalk, rather than simply using his wand. He once gave the rubbish explanation that it helps one’s brain to absorb the information quicker by writing it out. Yeah, good one Professor.

I looked over at Bella who was sitting forwards in her chair, chewing away on the ends of her hair carelessly and looking as though she was having just as much fun as I was. James was seated next to her, with his arms crossed in front of his chest. His face was twisted into an angry scowl and I could only guess why. I had heard that Dumbledore had come down awfully hard on him for the fight, since he of course was Head Boy. Nice to see he's finally discovered that being Head Boy isn't all fun and games, I thought to myself and chuckled lowly.

As soon as Slughorn gave us the go, I literally jumped off my stool and rushed towards the store cupboard, grateful to get away from the tiresome whinging of Sirius Black.

I hunted down the ingredients I needed and went back to my table. However, as I was passing Sirius to get back to my seat, he shot his foot out and before I knew it I had tripped clean over it. Luckily for me, at that same moment Evan was passing by and had caught my arm just in time to keep me from falling flat on my face. The ingredients for my potion, however, were not so fortunate. They were either splattered or smashed all over the ground in front of me. 

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and I was preparing myself to launch my fist into his face and wipe that infuriating smirk clean off it before Evan beat me to the punch, literally. 

He took a full swing at Sirius, hitting him in the left side of his face. Sirius howled in pain before hurling himself at Evan, knocking him off his feet and to the ground where he proceeded to take a swing at his face, hitting him in the jaw. By this time the entire class had jumped up from their seats to get a glimpse of the fight. The two boys were struggling against each other, throwing blind punches in their attempt to get to their feet.

Slughorn, upon hearing all the commotion, raced out from his office at once, and with a wave of his wand, Evan and Sirius had been propelled in opposite directions. 

“That's enough!” Slughorn, who was evidently furious, boomed. His face had turned an alarming shade of beetroot red and his large, walrus-like moustache was twitching slightly.

He was eyeing the boys furiously “Fighting in my classroom is strictly forbidden. Mr Black, your Head of House will be informed of your behaviour and I trust that she will find a fitting punishment. Mr Rosier, see me in my office after class. But for now. . .” Slughorn took a quick glance around the room “Ah, Miss Evans. I expect that you will embrace your responsibilities as Head Girl and escort Mr Black and Mr Rosier to Madame Mellick. I want them out of my sight immediately”.

A fitting proposition as Sirius was sporting what looked to be the beginnings of a nasty bruise on his right eye and Evan had a large, red mark on the side of his jaw, as well as a trickle of blood emitting from his nose.

“The rest of you get back to work” Slughorn ordered before waddling back to his office.   
Sirius shot me a nasty look before following behind Lily. 

Evan then came over and laid a hand on my arm “Are you okay?” he asked, his forehead burrowed in concern.

“Yeah, I'm fine” I replied reassuringly “I'm sorry you got into trouble, Evan. You should've just let me handle it”

“And miss out on knocking Sirius Black in the face? No way” Evan replied with a grin. “But seriously, Alex, you know I'd do anything to protect you. Even if it meant beating the crap out’ve all those Gryffindor punks” he added, and I nodded my head in understanding before he headed off to the Hospital Wing. 

I took my seat once again and smirked to myself. Sirius sure did get what he deserved for that little stunt. I looked over at Bella who poked her tongue out at me and laughed, and then my attention turned to Severus who was sitting at his table beside the empty chair that belonged to Lily Evans. She had evidently begun her potion, which was bubbling away happily in her cauldron. As I watched, I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea.

I headed back over to the store cupboards to pick out some more supplies for my potion, since Sirius had so kindly destroyed mine, and picked out a little something extra while I was there. I then sauntered over to Severus' table.

“How's your potion going, Sev?” I asked innocently while tossing a piece of hornswood into Lily’s cauldron. Her potion instantly morphed from glistening silver to a murky, dark shade of grey. Sev barely looked up before he answered.

“It's fine so far” he said quickly, before scribbling a few notes into his potions book, which looked as though it would fall apart any second, it was so crammed with writing.

“Great!” I smiled and went back to my seat happily. Lily sure was in for a nasty surprise.

As it so happened, said red-head entered a few minutes later, returning to her potion immediately. I watched and waited in anticipation.

Lily picked up a small vial of red liquid, which happened to be Doxy blood, and added a few drops to her cauldron. No sooner had the blood touched that surface of the potion that it started frothing and overflowing at an alarming rate, covering all of her belongings in a sticky, goopy mess. 

I had to stifle my laughter so as not to get caught out. I found it even more amusing when Slughorn saw the mess and simply said “Oh, that's bad luck, Miss Evans”.

I did feel a bit bad however when I overheard Lily accusing a bewildered Severus of sabotaging her work, and became especially furious when Sev went on to win the best potion, with Remus Lupin coming in a close second.

 

***

 

 

During Transfiguration that day, which I was grateful that we had with the Ravenclaws, as they were the only House that we Slytherins could actually tolerate, was the birth of mine and Bella’s latest scheme. This involved becoming “friends” with Xavier Stone in order to manipulate him against Lily. 

Bella had thought of this clever plan after I had accidentally knocked my Transfiguration book of my desk during class and Xavier, who was sitting in front of me, had picked it up and returned it to me with a handsome smile, and then continued to catch my eye all during the rest of class as we were transfiguring each other into various animal species.

After class I decided to skip lunch, as I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, and headed down to the lake for a bit of fresh air. I walked along the lakeshore, picking up various stones and skimming them across the calm, reflective surface of the water, until I happened upon a cluster of large rocks. I noticed a familiar blonde perched upon one of them.

Narcissa had her knees brought up to her chest with her chin resting atop of one, and her arms cradled around them. I studied her awhile before speaking. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be frowning, but she was completely oblivious to my presence.

“Alright, Cissy?”

The small girl was startled for a moment. Her eyes shot open and she replied in a small voice.

“Oh... Hi, Alex”.

I walked over and sat myself on one of the rocks nearest hers. A gust of wind shot wildly across the surface of the lake towards us, blowing my dark hair into my face. 

“What are you doing out here?” I asked Cissy, while pushing the long strands from my eyes.

She sighed softly and closed her eyes once more.

“Just... thinking” she replied.

“Thinking?” I asked, intrigued “Is... everything okay? You've been acting kinda different since we got back to Hogwarts”.

Cissy turned, with her head still resting against her knee, to look at me.

“It's nothing really, just...”

“C'mon, just tell me” I pressed on “You know I'll get it out've you sooner or later “I added with a dark grin.

Cissy sighed defeatedly and said “If I tell you, will you promise not to tell Bella?”

I raised an eyebrow “Why don't you want her to know?”

Her gaze fell to the ground “Because I know she'll just tease me” she replied, with a hint of sadness “You know what she's like”.

I nodded, as I knew all too well what Bellatrix Black was like. She loved teasing people to get her kicks, and family was no exception. I guess there was no need to fuel her battle against the poor girl.

“Okay, Ciss...” I thought for a second “I promise I won't say anything...” Keeping secrets to yourself was no fun at all “ ... to Bella”.

“Not just Bella, you can't tell anyone else either!” Cissy added hastily, obviously sensing the deviousness in my tone.

Smart kid.

“Fine, I won't tell anyone” I gave in, grudgingly.

“Okay well... there's this boy”.

“Ohhhhh Cissy has a boyfriend!” I teased with a short bark of laughter. 

Cissy was not amused. She fixed me with an icy stare “You're just as bad as her! I knew I shouldn't have said anything” she snapped and buried her face into her folded arms.

“Aww I’m just kidding, Ciss” I climbed up onto the rock and sat myself beside the girl “I'll be serious now. Tell me” I promised before giving her a soft jab in the arm. 

“Well, he's not my boyfriend” Came her muffled reply, as she kept her face hidden “He barely even knows I exist” 

I thought to myself for a second “Hmm... any clue on who said boy is?”.

“I don't wanna tell you” she mumbled quickly.

Fair enough I guess. It seems Narcissa knows me well enough to have learned that keeping promises was never something I found particularly important. I could promise away everything I had without a second thought. 

“Did you ever think that maybe if you cheered up a bit he'd wanna get to know you” I teased again, but Cissy didn't look convinced.

She lifted her head and snorted “Fat chance. He's already got a girlfriend. And on top of that he's, like, older than me. He probably thinks I'm a little kid”.

“Older then you, huh? So what's the name of this hunk who's caught the eye of our pretty, little blossom” I waggled my eyebrows, attempting to pry the information out of her once again.

She shook her head fervently.

“Not telling. Never will” she replied simply, and I believed it too. Cissy could be as stubborn as a Hippogriff when she wanted to be. Sometimes I thought that even torture could never loosen this girls tongue.

“Well, it's his loss anyway” I replied sincerely as I hopped down off the rock “Don't give up hope, Ciss. I'm sure he'll notice you sooner or later” I added before pulling my robe tightly around me to ward off the chill of the incoming wind. 

I had meant what I said too. Unlike Bella’s dark and rough demeanour, as well as looks, Narcissa was more refined and elegant. Not to mention she was growing more beautiful with every year. A perfect trophy wife for any Pureblooded aristocrat.

Too bad I didn't know then exactly who had caught Narcissas eye. Perhaps I could've warned her against the dark and sadistic man he was soon sure to become.

I started making my way back up towards the castle which was looming up ahead, fighting against the savage wind that was whipping around me viciously. A lone figure was marching down the path towards me, moving quickly. The closer it got the more I realised it was hardly a lone figure but more of a Sirius Black. And a rather angry looking Sirius Black at that. Not that he ever did look happy to see me.

When he was within earshot I sighed dramatically and said “You know, Black, I’ve had the misfortune of running into you far too often lately. I’m starting to think that perhaps you’re stalking me”.

Sirius merely ignored my comment and stormed up until he was standing only a few inches away from me. I was rather taken aback at this sudden close proximity. It seemed as though Mr Black wasn’t aware that we were no longer trapped in that stuffy cupboard. I noticed however that there was no sign of a bruise anywhere on his face from his earlier brawl with Evan. The work of Madame Mellick, no doubt.

“You sabotaged Lily’s’ potion didn’t you” His voice, hissing down at me, was deadly serious.

I took a hasty step backwards and arched my eyebrow “What makes you think that?” I answered, before letting my lips form into a twisted grin.

“Lily seems to think it was Snape, but I know he’s too much of a coward to pull off something that would land him in detention. You on the other hand-“

“Guess I should’ve been sorted into Gryffindor, eh?” I smirked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

It was true that Severus avoided situations that he knew were likely to get him into any sort of trouble. But I tell you now, he was anything but a coward.

“So it wasn’t Snivellus-“

I cut Sirius off right there, and took a step forward, until my face was just inches below his and said as fiercely as I could “Don’t call him that”. 

“Oh, we don’t like that do we?” Sirius grinned darkly.

He brought himself up to full height so that he towered above me once again. I didn’t move an inch. If this was his idea of intimidating me, then it certainly wasn’t working. He lowered his head slowly, until his lips were positioned directly beside my ear. The fierce wind was causing his hair to flicker against my face.

His hot breath tickled my ear as he whispered “Snivellus”.

Without a moment’s hesitation I had whipped my wand from my pocket and shoved it right against his throat. Sirius looked slightly amused. He held up both hands to indicate he was backing off and took a few steps backwards.

“Severus doesn’t deserve your taunting” I spat angrily “He’s a better person then you’ll ever be”.

Sirius smirked “Severus Snape is a slimy git and I’ll do to him whatever I please”.

“Oi, Padfoot!” 

I would’ve hexed Sirius Black right then and there if I hadn’t heard the voice of Remus Lupin being carried down by the wind. He was standing roughly ten meters away, wand drawn and pointed in my direction. His sandy blonde hair was whipping around his face wildly.

Sirius grinned at his luck and turned to go. He slung his arm around his friend’s shoulders as he reached him, obviously in gratitude. I scowled as they walked off towards the castle together, contemplating hexing the both of them, but remembering Remus’ skill with a wand, decided against it.

I grumbled as I returned my wand to my back pocket and made my own way along the path. I’d get Sirius Black back for his little remark about Severus sooner or later. After all, he was stalking me, remember.


	12. Curiosity

Xavier Stone had the most lovely, dark brown eyes. They were so warm, so inviting. The total opposite to the harsh, chilling blue of Lucius' ones. I felt as if I could fall right into them.

So far, mine and Bellas plan had been working perfectly, and it had only been less than a week since we had first come up with the idea.

Our Arithmancy class was the smallest I had. I could name each of the participants on each one of my fingers.

Alexandra Cortez, Kendra Carysfort, Isobel Mosely. We made up the only Slytherins in the class while the rest was Ravenclaw.

Verity Ridgebit. Jeremy Colbert. Yvonne Yolke. Fiona Woodhouse. Oliver Oswald. Maxwell Simmons. Xavier Stone.

I have to admit that Arithmancy wasn't my best subject. All those numbers really did my head in, and besides that I wasn't too concerned whether or not by using the number seven and one's date of birth you could determine the exact day of their death. Although it did briefly cross my mind to find out when Lily Evans death day would be. Just for a little fun.

Luckily for me, Kendra was an absolute star at the subject and never failed to jump to the mark if I needed a little help. Or a lot, as was sometimes required.

I thought it was all a load of trash really. The only reason I took Arithmancy at all was because I knew it would look great on my application for whichever career I decided to choose once I left Hogwarts. Much to the dismay of Professor Slughorn, who as our Head of House was required to guide us in the direction of our dream profession, I hadn't yet decided where my own path would lead.

I suspected it was because I couldn't actually imagine that one day we'd have to leave this school. Not that I didn't want to but more because I had become so used to waking up to it every day.

My friends had all decided on their set paths. Lucius’ family was filthy rich and he would apparently be presented with a large sum of money once he graduated from Hogwarts, in order to set him up for the future. Lately, however, he had been trying to coax his father, Mr Abraxas Malfoy, who worked at the Ministry of Magic in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, into gaining him an internship at the Ministry over the next summer.

I knew he wasn’t interested in doing it for the money so I had to ask why he was so intent on working at the Ministry. He told me it was because he wanted to be out there doing something to help the Wizarding World grow stronger. I often suspected he fancied himself working his way up to becoming Minister of Magic, though I never mentioned that to him.

Meanwhile, Evan was aiming for a spot as Beater on the famous Quidditch team, aswell as his all time favourite, the Falmouth Falcons. His Uncle Arcus' best childhood friend was the team’s current coach and had promised him a trial, so long as the Slytherin team took the Quidditch Cup this year. We hoped that wouldn't be so hard seeing as how they had already won it the past four years in a row.

After much deliberation (not) Rodolphus decided that he would tag along with his best mate, and hoped to also gain a spot on the Falmouth Falcons. I personally thought that they would both be great candidates for a professional Quidditch team. They were amazing Beaters, I had never seen them miss a target once, much to the dismay of the other Hogwarts Quidditch teams. The Falmouth Falcons themselves had a reputation for being rather rough while playing, so I knew the boys would fit in perfectly.

Severus once mentioned to me that he was keen to put his inventive skills into practice and join the Committee of Experimental Charms at the Ministry of Magic. Though he didn’t have much confidence that he would ever get there so he didn’t work as hard towards that goal as I thought he should have. Apart from that I’d never heard him talk much of what he wanted to do once he left Hogwarts.

Sadly, Bellatrixs’ only dream was to marry Rodolphus and live off the fortune he would supposedly make as a world famous Quidditch Champion. I had a good laugh at that when she told me, which was obviously the wrong thing to do since she wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the day after that.

But I was fast coming to the conclusion that if you wanted to get to the top in this world it was much more important who you knew rather then what you knew. If that was the case then I was screwed.

Bella had tried convincing me that I should take a leaf from her book and be content to walk down the aisle with Lucius and live off the small fortune he would get once he graduated. And not to mention the wealth he would inherit once his parents finally kicked the bucket.

She even went so far as to describe our futures to me. In detail. It was quite frightening really, I had to literally force my hand over her mouth when she started bringing up the subject of offspring.

I myself wanted to actually do something with my life. Not just be a boring, old housewife, staying at home all day and looking after the kids. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids. I wasn't too fond of them, to be honest.

But back to the point. . .

I was doing a rather good job convincing Xavier that I had no idea how to crack the current set of numeral codes we were attempting to break. And it wasn't all an act, mind you. I actually was having a bit of trouble with this. Not as much as I made out to Xavier however.

Thankfully all of this batting my eyelashes and giggling like an idiot crap seemed to be working a charm. Xavier couldn't take his eyes off of me.

His fellow Ravenclaws, however, didn't seem to be falling for my act. It was obvious from their disapproving looks that they knew I was up to something. Even Xavier’s own best mate, Maxwell, was eyeing me warily. I guess they knew better then to trust a Slytherin. Especially a Slytherin who's boyfriend happens to be the biggest bully in the entire school.

Xavier, however, seemed to be completely oblivious to all of this. And here I had been thinking he was smart.

So as it was, I had just finished breaking my set of codes, with the help of the dashing Mr Stone. Our teacher, Professor Goodley, often left us to our own devices, and emerged from her office just before the end of each class expecting the set tasks to be completed. At this level of Arithmancy the aim of the class was to prepare us for the super exciting world of work by “allowing” us to do our own independant studies.

Yeah, right. More like Professor Goodley couldn’t be arsed teaching our class when instead she could be comfortably locked up in her office working out the number puzzles in the Daily Prophet.

I set my quill down beside my parchment and in my most bimbo-est voice gushed “I could never have done this without you, Xavier. Thanks for helping me out”

I felt like a bit of an idiot doing all this. No, let me correct that. I felt like my sister, Serenity, who was in fact both an idiot and a bimbo. But I soldiered on nonetheless and rested my hand on Xaviers arm for a brief moment before giving him a sweet smile. 

Xavier smiled back nervously and cleared his throat a little “So, you and that Malfoy bloke-“

“I’d rather not talk about him, if you don’t mind” I brushed Xavier off hastily with a small pout, giving him the impression that all was not well on that front. 

This, however, seemed to raise his spirits considerably. I knew Lucius would be far from happy if he knew what I was up to, but it would be too worth it in the end to not take the risk. 

Besides, I was only doing this to get back at Lily Evans; it wasn't like I actually had any feelings for Xavier, no matter how nice his eyes may be. I couldn’t say the same for him though. It seemed out dear Mr Stone was starting to forget all about his precious Lily-flower already. Perfect.

***

 

Later that afternoon I was glad to find a moment alone with Bella in our dormitory. I walked in to find her rummaging around in the trunk at the foot of Isobel’s bed, making a hell of a mess as she was doing so. She stopped however as soon as she noticed me and the first words to come shooting out of her mouth were “So? Is Stone disgustingly in love with you yet?”. 

I let out a soft laugh as I closed the wooden door behind me and tossed my bag carelessly at the foot of my bed “I wouldn’t say he’s in love. But I would say we’re making great progress” I smirked and crossed my arms in front of my chest in satisfaction. 

“I can’t wait to see the look on Evans’ face when he ditches her” Bella cackled before withdrawing a very expensive looking, strapless, black satin dress from Isobelss trunk. 

“And what, may I ask, are you planning to do with that?” I asked Bella while she stood in front of a mirror, holding the dress up to herself.

Bella shrugged her shoulders “I’m just gonna borrow it for a while. See if Rod likes it” she added with a wink, to which I made a mock gagging gesture. She shot me a scornful look before adding “Besides, Isobel has plenty of dresses, she won’t even notice it’s gone”

I sniggered and pointed a finger at the mess left at the foot of Isobels bed “She will if you leave her trunk looking like that”.

Bella grumbled and shoved all the clothes back into the trunk roughly before closing the top on it and casting me a sly grin.

I shook my head and grinned back before dropping down onto my bed and rested my arms behind my head. I thought to myself that now would be the perfect time to talk to Bella about Lucius, and everything I had heard about this Dark Lord, so I jumped at the chance.

“Bella. . .” I started “Have you heard anything about a guy called the Dark Lord?”

Bella turned her head and raised her eyebrows inquisitively “The Dark Lord? Sounds like some wannabe rock singer” she snorted “Never heard of him, why do you ask?”

I relayed the story of my talk with Regulus in the common room that night and the strange conversation I had overheard Luicus and Severus having in the corridor. Once I had finished Bella snorted again.

“It’s probably nothing as serious as you think. What trouble could they really be getting into while at Hogwarts?” Bella reasoned. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you, Alex”

I thought for a moment that Bella was probably right. That maybe I had overthought all of this it somehow made it into something bigger then it really was. But the unsettling feeling I had inside of me told me otherwise.

It was simple for Bella to brush it off so easily. She hadn’t seen the way Regulus had looked at me that night. How scared he seemed of the mere mention of this man. And not to mention how enraged Severus had sounded when Lucius had brought up the topic with him. But Bella wouldn’t have any of it.

“Are you sure Rod hasn’t mentioned anything about it to you?” I pressed on, hoping to get the answers I needed.

Bella shrugged “Not that I can remember”

I sighed a little in defeat “Okay. Just do me a favour and don’t mention any of this to him. I don’t think Lucius would be too happy if he knew I was snooping around”

Bella agreed, and I decided then that I would go for a quick walk before meeting her at dinner. My real intention of course was to find Regulus. I was so worked up, and frustrated by Bella’s lack of knowledge, that I needed to try a different source.

I remember now that old saying, “Curiosity killed the cat”. I guess that line is too often ignored.

The common room was brimming with life when I entered. Dinner hadn’t started just yet so the students were wasting the time away until they could satisfy their stomachs. I couldn’t spot Regulus anywhere among the crowd. In fact, I couldn’t find any of the boys.

So instead I made my way to the Great Hall. I knew it was too early for dinner, but I wasn’t in the mood to go back to the dormitory and sit around watching Bella raid everyone’s trunks. At least I had the comfort of knowing mine was safe. She had more sense then to mess around with my stuff.

As I predicted, the Hall was lifeless. The sound of my footsteps echoing off the stone walls sounded a little eerie as I made my way over to the long Slytherin table. I lay down on the hard, wooden bench, letting my dark hair spill over the side, and wriggled around a bit to get into a more comfortable position. 

I gazed up and inspected the roof above me. Dark clouds were looming above, threatening to spill out their insides and drown me in rain. One good thing about the Great Hall, however, was that if it actually did rain I would stay perfectly dry.

I shut my eyes and let my mind drift off a little, taking a break from the constant mess of thoughts that raced around in my head these days. Instead I tried to concentrate on simple things. The mouth-watering smell of the roast chicken the first night I returned to Hogwarts. The soothing, dark calmness of the lake. The silky sound of Lucius’ voice as he purred in my ear. The sharp taste of fire whiskey as it ran down my throat. The warm scent of Sirius Blacks cologne.

Wait. What!

Strangely enough, the last thought to enter my mind was one of Sirius Black. I tried desperately to remove it from my thoughts by thinking of anything but. Rocks, trees, Quidditch, the Giant Squid.

Nothing seemed to work, so eventually, much to my disappointment, I had to give up trying.

I could remember the smell of him so vividly, and the thing that really made me feel sick inside was knowing that deep down I actually kind of liked it. The rich smell of his cologne mixed with the crisp scent of shampoo that was laced in his raven hair. It was deep, and warm. . . much like the touch of his skin as he held my arms against that wall. . . Oh Merlin, cut it out!

The series of chills shooting down my spine caused me to jump up immediately. I shook my head frantically, as if that would shake the memories right out of my head and onto the ground where I could proceed to stomp all over them.

A sickening feeling invaded my stomach. I held my head in my hands, starting to fear that I might lose my lunch if I couldn’t remove Sirius Black from my mind immediately.

Merely a split second later, I heard the doors of the Hall swing open heavily. I looked up and no longer had to worry about keeping my lunch down because I got such a shock I somehow managed to fall clean off the bench and onto the hard ground below.


	13. Deceive

I stifled a small yelp of pain as my rear end collided heavily with the hard stone. Almost immediately I huddled low to the ground. Being alone with the group of scum who had just walked through the large double doors, wasn’t exactly the most ideal situation for me to be in right now. Nor did I particularly wish to be caught out on the floor of the Great Hall, which I tell you now is not the most hygienic of places to end up, in this ridiculous position. So I did the only thing I could do. Shut my mouth and pray to Salazar that one of my friends would show up sooner rather than later.

 

Minutes passed by and I quickly grew more restless and uncomfortable by the second. I could overhear the conversation of the new inhabitants all too well as it echoed off the stone walls surrounding me. James Potter was boasting loudly about the upcoming Quidditch game next week. I resisted the urge to snort out loud. Our team had all but obliterated every other house in their quest for the Quidditch Cup the past four years. So because of this fact, there was no doubt in my mind that Slytherin would take it yet again this year.

“I agree we’ve got an edge this year with Somers on our team. That girl can toss a Quaffle faster then a Thestral,” Sirius Black was explaining their situation “But have you seen the guns on Rosier? Man, I dunno what he’s been doing all summer, but he certainly wasn’t sitting on his arse. You have to admit, he’s turned into a pretty sizeable threat.”

 

I seconded that remark in my head as from what I had heard, Evan had spent a majority of the summer break at Mr and Mrs Malfoy’s manor in Wiltshire, along with Lucius and Rodolphus, of course. From the few letters I had received from Evan and Lucius, and not to mention Bella’s own from Rodolphus, we had determined that their summer had consisted primarily of Quidditch, swimming, and food. A lot of food I discovered, as Evans favourite thing to do, in order to take up more space in his letters, was to describe to me his latest meal. In detail. There was no sign of sentences such as “How are you, Alex?”, “How is your summer, Alex”, “I miss you, Alex” to be found anywhere. Instead, if I remember correctly, his last letter went a little something like this.

Dear Alex,

Last night that House Elf with the beady eyes cooked Filet Mignon for dinner. I have to say that it was most probably the third best meal I have ever had, after the roast chicken at Hogwarts and that fish thing we ate at Bella’s birthday banquet last year. I think what made this one so good was those fancy little onions that the Malfoys are always eating. I hate it when that wheezy, old Elf with the one ear cooks. You can always tell when that one cooks because the food tastes like glue. Not that I actually know what glue tastes like, but you get my point. I think it sabotages the food on purpose, but Lucius reckons it’s because the thing is half-blind and can’t see what it’s doing most of the time. Rod says it does it’s cooking in the study, which explains the glue taste. He also says hi.

Love, Evan.

I kid you not. This is seriously the kind of thing I have to put up with.

 

James snickered at Sirius’ comment. “If I didn’t know any better, i’d say you’re a little intimidated by the big, bad Slytherins, eh Padfoot?”

 

Though I couldn’t be sure, I guessed that Sirius’ face flushed indignantly. The mere thought of this made me barely able to suppress a small giggle.

 

“I would never let those snakes get to me!” Sirius barked at James, his annoyance obvious in the harsh tone of his voice “I should think you would know me better than that, Prongs.”

 

“Merlin, Padfoot, it was just a joke. Lighten up, will you?” James replied defensively.

 

Sirius snorted angrily in reply.

 

“Well anyway listen, what I really wanted to talk to you about was my brilliant plan for sabotaging those Slytherins this year,” James continued, in obvious attempts to turn the conversation in a new direction.

 

I rolled my eyes. In all the time we had been at Hogwarts, the Gryffindor Quidditch team had never once managed to outdo us Slytherins when it came to our non-curricluar pre game antics. You could bet that one or two members of our team would end up in the hospital wing at some point. But usually, the poor Gryffindors would come out worse off. 

 

Take for instance during my fifth year when every single player of the Gryffindor team, save the Captain, ended up in the hospital wing sick with Floxy Pox, a rather disgusting skin infection which causes the skin of the unfortunate bearer to turn a bluish tinge and sport a nasty set of itchy, red sores . 

 

Floxy Pox, as it happens, can only be caught through close contact with Floxies, a tiny winged insect that is said to only be found throughout South America. How on earth Lance Avery managed to get his hands on them i’ll never know, but after we let a boxful loose in the Gryffindor teams changing rooms we were nothing but grateful to the lad. Consequently, the match was postponed til a week later, but most of the team were still feeling the effects of their infection and spent the whole game scratching away on their broomsticks. Needless to say, the Slytherins all but annihilated them on the pitch.

 

“Well, Prongs. What is this brilliant scheme of yours?” The voice of Remus Lupin asked, impatiently. 

 

“You remember those Whirring Whibbits they brought out at Zonko’s last year?” James asked the others.

 

“Yeah, I remember,” Sirius answered. “Those noisy, flashing balls that would distract Professors during exams so students could slip answers to each other.”

 

“Problem is, they were banned for sale by the Ministry not a month after they went on market,” Remus remarked. “What use are they to us?”

 

“Well, thing is, my dad’s cousin Rupert is a bit of an inventor. He’s mad, I have to admit, but quite brilliant when it comes to his creations. Last time he visited us, he showed me a couple of Whirring Whibbits he had kept and messed around with. He reckons that when set off they’ll let off a light so bright, and a noise so piercing that it’s guaranteed to make any bystanders temporarily deaf and blind for at least 24 hours.” James explained, sounding awfully happy with himself.

 

“So, how are we supposed to get one of these before the match, genius?” Sirius asked, clearly not as impressed with this information as James had supposedly hoped.

 

“Padfoot, luckily for you I am indeed a genius and have one safely tucked up in my trunk upstairs.” James beamed.

 

“Well, that changes things,” Sirius observed “So the plan is to let the Whibbit loose on those snakes before the match?”

 

“Exactly. Moony, check the map would’ya, I don’t want anyone busting in here and overhearing this.” James instructed.

 

I didn’t know what this map was that James was talking about, but still I chuckled inwardly at the thought that his wishes were already wasted. I also couldn’t wait til I got to see the stupid look on their faces when this idiotic plan of theirs failed. I have to admit that this scheme of theirs was somewhat well-thought, but luckily for me they would never get the chance to find that out.

 

Sirius and James continued on with their planning. The pair of them were determining how exactly they were going to slip the Whibbit to the Slytherin team and have enough time to get themselves far enough away in time before it goes off.

 

“You know, I wouldn’t mind getting that disgusting cousin of yours while we’re at it,” James was saying eagerly. “And Cortez, too. That’d be a hell of a laugh, don’t you think Padfoot?”

 

“Good one, Prongs,” Sirius laughed. “I'd love to see the look on her face.”

 

“Uhh, Padfoot. You’re gonna want to see this then.” Remus interrupted, halting the discussion.

 

“What is it, Moony?” Sirius asked, impatiently.

 

Remus replied in a stern voice “Take a look for yourself.”

 

I heard shuffling noises, as the boys were obviously looking at whatever Remus had to show them. A moment passed before Sirius let out a last bark of laughter, and then all of a sudden, everything went quiet. Too quiet. I thought it odd that a bunch of Quidditch crazed boys, in the heat of their latest scheme could silence themselves so easily. Something was definitely going on here.

 

Unfortunately it wasn’t long until I found out how right I was. Next thing I knew, my wand had sprung from where it was being held loosely in my right hand. After sitting up and discovering Sirius Black towering above me, carelessly twirling my wand in one hand whilst pointing his own in my face with the other, it was apparent that he had crept up and cast a pretty damn effective summoning spell on my unsuspecting self. Needless to say, the “bad situation” alarm bells were ringing in my head furiously.

 

I scowled darkly up at Sirius whilst trying to determine exactly how on earth he had managed to figure out that I was down here. His idiotic sidekick, James, appeared behind him a mere second later. And the footsteps I heard behind me gave me cause to assume that the other half of their group, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, were blocking my exit from behind. Not that I was stupid enough to make a run for it when I most likely had three, knowing how much of a coward Peter is, wands directed at me. And besides, I would never freely abandon my own poor wand to Sirius Black so easily.

 

Sirius eyed me dangerously. “Stand up,” He commanded in a low voice.

 

I, of course, completely ignored his command and instead continued to glare up at him sourly. Apparently, he didn’t like this fact as he leaned downed a fraction and whispered harshly “Stand up. Before I make you stand myself.”

 

“If you so much as touch me,” I started, but was abruptly cut off by Sirius growling.

 

“What makes you think I need to touch you to make you stand.”

 

I scowled yet again before reluctantly pushing myself up on my hands and into a standing position, not particularly wishing to be the victim of whatever nasty hex he surely had in his psychotic mind.

 

“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” James mocked from where he still stood, half concealed, behind his best mate.

 

“You know whatever you do to me, you’ll get back twice as bad,” I threatened, seeing as that was pretty much the best defence I had right now, being wandless and all “Once they find out about this”.

 

Sirius chuckled darkly. “They? Oh, right. You mean your little pet, Rosier? He seems to have become quite accustomed to seeking revenge on your behalf.” he sneered before taking a step closer towards me. 

 

In an instant, my breath caught short in my throat as the intense smell of him filled my senses much more vividly then it had in my thoughts earlier. The deep scent embedded itself in my mind and for a brief moment I felt myself lean towards him slightly, resisting the urge to cover the small space between us and feel the touch of his hands warm against my skin once more. 

 

Oh, Merlin. What is wrong with me?! Almost immediately I dispelled the very thought from my mind and, feeling severely disgusted at myself for the second time that day, thanks to my bizarre fantasies of my most sworn enemy, I stepped slowly backwards, one small step after another, until I had distanced myself as far as was possible from him, given the circumstance.

 

Sirius, having interpreted my strange behaviour as mere fear, grinned darkly.

 

“So tell me, Cortez, I’m curious to know what exactly Rosier gets in return for being your personal bodyguard?” He let out a short bark of laughter. “I think now we all know what he’s been doing all summer, eh boys?”

 

He stole a quick glance up and down the length of my body, as if I might have missed the intention behind his words. My hands automatically balled themselves into tight fists. How dare he suggest such a thing, the slimy git.

 

“It’s not like that!” I spat in defence, though I wasn’t exactly sure why I felt the need to defend myself against Sirius Black for this. It wasn’t like I actually cared what he thought of me.

 

“Of course not,” Sirius mocked, clearly not believing me. “But never mind. I guess we must resolve the current problem we have here”.

 

“What would that be?” I asked, my teeth grinding together viciously.

 

“It seems that you, Cortez, have ruined our hard thought plans for sabotage," Sirius smirked, clearly enjoying the situation he had me in. "Surely a little payback is in order, don’t you think?”

 

“You think that “plan” of yours would have worked on our team?” I replied icily. “You lot truly are as clever as a bunch of Flobberworms, aren’t you?”

 

“Whether it would have worked or not isn’t really important,” Sirius answered, dismissing the insult with a wave of his hand. “Say, James? How do you think we should repay Cortez for her rather rude eavesdropping?”

 

“Well, Padfoot, you are currently in possession of a certain individuals’ wand.” James crooned as he moved to stand beside Sirius.

 

I felt my stomach drop immediately. If anything happened to my wand, I was royally screwed. I certainly didn’t want to go through all the trouble of obtaining a new one.

 

“So I am.” Sirius boasted, his wild eyes brimming with malice. His lips curved into a sinister smile as he slid his own wand into the back pocket of his pants, before holding my own out before him, one end in each hand, as if he would snap it clean in half.

 

I took a slow step forwards, grasping desperately for any thoughts on what I could do to prevent Sirius from destroying my wand. I opened my mouth to speak, but foolishly couldn’t find any words. Sirius Black had me. There was absolutely nothing I could say, or do to stop him from acting out his conspicuous evil plan.

 

I have to say that this was a rather new experience for me. Never before had I been so entirely outsmarted by someone else that I had no choice to admit my defeat. Come to think of it, it wasn’t exactly cleverness on Sirius’ behalf that had landed me in this situation, but rather a rare moment of cunning.

 

I was just about to declare Sirius the victor in all this, as there was seemingly nothing else for me to do, when all of a sudden, before the words had left my mouth, something occurred to me. 

 

I am Alexandra Cortez. And more importantly than that i’m a proud Slytherin. I had never once admitted defeat to anyone, and I sure as hell was not going to start with the likes of Sirius Black.

 

And it was then that I had another thought, perhaps the most important of all. Sirius knew he had me cornered. No, scratch that. Sirius thought he had me cornered, as did his fellow Gryffindor scum bags, I supposed. 

 

But instead of doing something they would be expecting, for example, shrieking a long list of profanity, or threatening their sorry arses until the Hippogriffs come home, both of which were guaranteed to secure me a nice comfy bed in the hospital wing. What if I did something so completely out of the ordinary that it would stun them all into a permanent state of insanity. Well, even more of a state of insanity, anyway. Anything’s worth a try, right?

 

So, before putting my plan into action, I briefly prepared myself for the almost impossible task ahead. Casually, I brushed a few loose strands of dark hair away from my face and looked deep into Sirius’ stormy eyes. My hands loosened from the fists they were previously balled into, and instead fell loose at my side. My whole demeanour, in the face of my greatest enemy, became unusually calm.

 

And then, I smiled. Not a smirk or a sneer as would be my usual habit, but a real, genuine smile. Next, to everyone’s surprise, I let out a soft laugh and moved ever carefully closer to the raven haired boy standing before me. 

 

Sirius, of course, was eyeing me suspiciously this whole time, still holding my wand out in his two hands in front of him and looking as if he was having a hard time deciding whether to stay put or get the hell out of the way of the unfamiliar girl pacing slowly towards him. I couldn’t afford to let his sharp gaze waver me for a fraction of a second. I stood as close to him as I thought safe without him hexing me half to Hogsmeade before I could get a word out, and smiled demurely up at him, barely meeting his eyes from under my curtain of dark lashes.

 

“I was wrong about you.” I started softly, in hopes I would sound sincere. He shot a brief questioning glance over his shoulder at James’, who merely shrugged his shoulders in response. 

 

My heart was pounding nervously. The sceptical look etched upon Sirius’ dark features was all I needed to know that he didn’t believe a word that was coming from my mouth. Still, I had no choice but to try to convince him. I continued quickly, not wanting to lose his already scarce attention.

 

I spoke quietly, feigning my embarrassment by letting my gaze drop to the stone floor at my feet “You see, don’t misunderstand me, but. . . I guess I always thought that I was better then you. Then all of you”.

Sirius took a sharp intake of breath, clearly about to speak before I interrupted.

 

“I was wrong, Sirius.” I confessed to him, my voice barely a whisper, laced with as much disgusting sweetness as I could muster. Sirius continued to glare at me sceptically. 

 

“What are you playing at, Cortez? I’m not an idiot,” He snarled “There’s no way you’d ever say this to me of your own accord.”

 

“Sirius, please,” I replied, my voice a thin whisper of distress “Don’t make this any more embarrassing for me then it already is.”

 

His grey eyes were searching my face for any sign of deceit. I kept my mask perfect, my own eyes glancing up at him pleadingly, not hesitating for a second. Sirius raised his eyebrows inquisitively and for a moment I could see his suspicion beginning to falter as the expression on his face turned to one of familiar arrogance. I felt a small glimmer of hope that what I was doing might actually work. Sirius dropped his outstretched arms to his side, still clasping my wand securely in one hand. Perhaps my acting skills aren’t so shabby, after all?

 

“Well, well, Cortez. I never thought you’d be one to beg.” Sirius mocked, clearly enjoying himself. I groaned inwardly, but decided it would be best to play along with whatever twisted idea he had implanted in that handsome head of his.

 

Cautiously, I moved closer to him still, until we were barely less then chest to chest - the top of my head reaching the bottom of his defined chin. I knew that I still wasn’t completely out of danger, but that my wand at least was for now. If I could continue to play on his vanity, then perhaps I had a shot of getting my wand back safely.

 

Slowly I lay my hand on the exposed skin of his arm, never once removing my eyes from his own. I was alarmed as the warmth of him instantly set my own skin ablaze and I barely suppressed my urge to gasp aloud at the strange sensation. Sirius flinched a little at the touch, but allowed my hand to remain where it was.

 

Someone shifted slightly behind me, and I froze instantly, thinking the game was up.

 

“Sirius.” Came the clear voice of Remus Lupin from behind me, the tone of his voice an obvious warning to his friend.

 

I inwardly cursed Remus for his stupid, logical thinking. He was clearly the smartest of the four, and I had no doubt in my mind that he knew I was up to something. Sirius moved his gaze past me to his friend, but I acted just as quickly to win back his attention.

 

“Sirius?” I spoke breathlessly, forcing him to look back at me once more. The warmth of his breath tickled my face gently as he spoke past me, sending reluctant chills shooting through my body.

 

“It’s okay, Moony. What’s the worst she can do without a wand?”

 

Remus growled lowly under his breath behind me, obviously annoyed at his friends casual dismissal. I ignored his protest, and in the next second, when Sirius looked over my shoulder at his annoyingly perceptive friend once again, I determined that it was the perfect time to strike. 

The hand that I had previously lay on Sirius' arm, now trailed it's way up over the sharp line of his jaw, where I let it linger a moment as I closed the final distance between us and pressed my body tentatively against his. 

Curiously enough, it was right about this moment that I immediately started to doubt my ill-thought plan - as I felt an unusual fluttering sensation rise up in my stomach, which threatened to mess it all up. Still, I was so close to reaching my goal - I had to keep going.

Brushing my fingertips softly over his rough skin, I could feel every spot where his stubble was slowly returning. My face was now so close to his that I could clearly count each individual, dark lash that decorated his stormy eyes as they locked onto my own once more. The cloudiness invading my mind made it difficult to see the danger I was getting myself in to.

What happened next, I couldn't say if it was due to my newly-discovered, fantastical acting skills - or the fact that I wasn't the only one who had seemingly lost their mind in this insane moment. Either way, it was about to give me the shock of my life. 

Without warning, I felt Sirius' fingers move gently up over the curve of my hip, slipping themselves comfortably onto my waist - which forced such an intense string of chills to shoot through every vein in my body, that I felt like I had been mentally attacked by a bucket of ice cubes. And not in a good way either, I might add.

My heart was pounding madly at that moment, but before realisation could dawn on the situation, I shook myself out of my daze and, without hesitation, reached my free hand behind Sirius, instantly seizing his wand from his back pocket and pointing it directly up at his throat - while barely managing to force my trademark smirk onto my lips at the same time. 

 

Just as quickly, James and Remus had their own wands pointed at me, but I knew now that I most certainly had the upper hand.

 

“Kindly tell your friends to back off, or you’ll end up with a face that not even a mother could love,” I hissed at Sirius, who barely looked like he knew what had just happened. 

“Oops - I guess it’s too late for that.” I laughed darkly and Sirius, with the realisation that he’d been beat at his own game finally dawning on him, scowled at me with a look of the most purest fury etched upon his face. 

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but after finding nothing to say, merely gestured to James and Remus with a sharp nod of his head. The boys lowered their wands before I swiftly snatched my own out of Sirius’ grasp, silently praising Salazar that all this trouble had been worth it in the end.

 

Let me note, that I had fully intended up until this moment to carry out Sirius’ earlier plan and destroy his wand in spite of what he had done to me in the first place. But now that I had come to the decision,without a second thought I thrust it into his hand, which still hung limp at his side. The frown that had been etched on his forehead resided somewhat, but his fierce eyes were still locked on me furiously.

 

What happened next was probably the most surprising out of anything that had happened all day. Wordlessly, Sirius turned on his heels and stalked back to the long Gryffindor table, just as the first of the students started piling into the Hall in anticipation of their dinner. With a last dark scowl in my direction, the other three Marauders slowly followed Sirius’ lead. 

With a heavy sigh of relief, I sat down on the long, wooden bench of my own table, thankful that the fight had finally ended, but finding it strange how Sirius Black had acted at the end of it all.


	14. Insanity

“Mr Filch would like for me to mention once more, that if anyone has any information concerning the individual who cast a Stunning spell on his beloved cat, Mrs Norris, at the end of last week, please see me personally in my office.

 

As you can imagine, Mr Filch is very distressed by this incident. I would also like to note that any magic intended to bring harm to any individual, whether it is four-legged or two, is strictly forbidden at Hogwarts, and will be severely punished”.

 

The booming voice of Albus Dumbledore echoed across the large room, and I rolled my eyes at the sound of him prattling on once more about that damn caretaker’s cat that I stunned after cutting Charms class last week.

 

The elderly loon in mention was positioned behind the oak-framed podium at the front of the Great Hall, half-moon spectacles perched on the end of his enormous nose, and wearing a rather ridiculous looking robe in an alarming shade of sunshine yellow - if you haven’t already guessed, I’m not particularly fond of the bloke.

 

And just leave it to Filch to make a big deal about his damn cat getting stunned, which I have to say is no more than the revolting beast deserved anyway. But nevertheless, there’s no doubt that we’ll be hearing about this “catastrophe” all year, if the filthy squib gets his way, as he certainly had so far. 

 

I had already heard enough whining this week from Professor Flitwick, who threatened to give us all assigned seats if anyone decided to skip class again. As he recalls it, that fateful day in Charms class he had turned his back on the class for “Just a second” and when he turned back around again “Half the students had disappeared!” - exaggerating, much?

 

My head rested lazily on my hand as I glared across the Hall at what, or rather who, I determined the cause of the whole Stunning event - Sirius Black. 

 

He sat moodily at the Gryffindor table with a dark scowl plastered across his face. I knew he wouldn’t dare mention the incident about Mrs Norris to Dumbledore. Not unless he too wanted to get caught out skipping class that day. 

 

It was clear from his expression that he was still furious about what had happened not thirty minutes earlier right here in this very Hall. I scowled at the thought of it myself, but found it hard to stay angry for long.

 

More than anything, the run-in with Sirius had left me in an inexplicable state of confusion. The way I had felt when my body pressed against his – The butterflies, cloudiness, shivers.

 

Well. It was completely, and utterly insane.

 

All along, my plan had been to take advantage of the one thing that he prided himself on – his ability to charm girls into falling at his feet.  
Pretty silly, if you ask me, that someone like Sirius Black had the ability to do such a thing. But after all, it worked in the end. Right?

 

What I mean is that my plan had worked – certainly not that Sirius had charmed me into falling at his feet. Because obviously he hadn’t.

 

But alas, I had gotten what I wanted. My wand back in my possession. Surely it shouldn’t matter so much exactly how I managed to do it. 

 

I outsmarted Sirius Black – end of story. So why then did I feel so weird about it? 

 

The answer, I knew, was floating around in the back of my head - eating at me like a nasty little parasite until I was forced to give in and acknowledge it. 

 

But never, in a million years was I going to give in. 

 

No way was I going to admit that perhaps, there was the small possibility, that the thought of being so close to Sirius Black didn’t disgust me as much as I thought it would.

 

What the hell is wrong with me?

 

Surely I should be feeling nothing but repulsed that his filthy, blood-traitor hand had made itself far too comfortable on my hip. You would think, that since this was my greatest enemy, the very thought of his warm breath on my face would have me bursting from the Great Hall and vomiting at the feet of the nearest suit of armour. 

 

Now that I thought about it, I did feel a little queasy, but not for any of the previously mentioned reasons. The great table in front of me had suddenly become laden with food, which each of my friends had started digging into madly, like a bunch of wild Hippogriffs.

 

However, for me the very smell of the various meats, vegetables, and breads presented before me had me feeling nothing but nauseous. 

 

And it was then, as I was willing my stomach to cut out the theatrics, that I had another thought. Sirius had lay his hand on me just as willingly. The one person, who I had been at war with since my very first day in this castle obviously had no qualms about skin on skin contact, if the memory of the two of us hiding from Filch in that damn broom closet of his is any proof. And he didn’t even have a brilliant scheme as an excuse, as far as I knew – not that I was making up excuses for anything.

 

For our entire school life, we had been at each other’s throats with our insults, as well as our wands. But as I thought about it now, I found it a little hard to determine exactly what had started it all.

 

I guess it all began with my first day at Hogwarts, when I was eleven years old. The thing I remember most clearly from that day was the first time I lay my eyes on the Hogwarts Express. I had been in awe at the way the golden rays of sun bounced off the enormous body of the steam engine, which shined a deep scarlet - the same colour as a certain ruby locket my mother had worn around her neck for as long as I could remember. 

 

Even now, the one thing I think about when I see the Express is not the prospect of returning to school for another year - but my Mother.

 

It’s pretty silly really, thinking how fascinated I had been of something as stupid and ugly as a train. But as a child I had never seen a train, or a car, or a busy street or any sort of Muggle invention, really. My family and I lived in the country, on a beautiful estate which had passed through my Fathers’ family for generations. My Mother and Father were both only children, both sets of my grandparents had died when Serenity and I were only young, and since we didn’t know anyone who lived anywhere remotely near a city, there was no real need for us to go there, I suppose. 

 

I could hardly wait to run onto the great metal monster waiting in front of me that I barely noticed my Mothers’ tearful farewell. Or the terrified look on my sister’s face, who was clearly not half as excited as I was to board the Express.

 

Serenity was clinging to our Mother stubbornly, pale faced and all but wetting herself with fear. Shaking my head with impatience, I immediately grabbed Serenity’s hand and dragged her onboard, despite her many panicked protests. I could hear my Mothers’ tinkling laughter coming from behind me, and I turned and gave her one last wave from the door, before heading to find a seat for the journey ahead of us.

 

We quickly came to a compartment which we found was already inhabited by three other girls, who, judging by their equally nervous faces I judged to be first years along with ourselves.

 

The first girl, with brilliant red hair and emerald eyes, who I later came to know as Lily Evans, was sitting in one corner alone - holding a square, black box in one hand with what looked to be a funny pair of earmuffs sitting over her head.

 

The other two, who were sitting together talking quietly, I came to indentify as my soon-to-be roommates - Kendra Carysfort and Violet Parkinson. The five of us chatted happily away during the train ride, and I was glad to see Serenity starting to relax a little and even grow a little excited to get to Hogwarts.

 

We talked about which classes we were looking forward to, and which Houses we wanted to be sorted into. Lily was hoping to be sorted into Ravenclaw, as well as Kendra. Violet had her mind set on Slytherin, as most of her family before her had been. Serenity said she would probably end up in Hufflepuff, because she couldn’t see herself fitting in anywhere else.

 

I myself had my hopes set on either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. In fact, it didn’t matter to me too much where I was sorted, as long as it wasn’t into Slytherin House, which I had heard from my Father had a rather bad reputation for the students it acquired. However, I kept this comment to myself at the time, for Violets sake.

 

By the time we arrived at the grand castle that was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the sky outside had turned a deep midnight blue. I pulled my trunk down from the overhead compartment above me, and led the way out into the dimly lit corridor of the train. But, as I had neglected to look both ways before stepping out, I unfortunately slammed straight into a boy who was making his way down the corridor from the other way. 

 

Luckily, his hand shot out to steady me before I toppled over right in front of him. Slightly embarrassed at looking like such a clumsy idiot, I looked over to apologise for walking into him - but before I could he had spoken first.

 

“Whoa, are you okay?” He asked me. His eyes - glistening a dark silvery-grey in the glow of the lamp - were full of concern. I remember then thinking how gorgeous this guy was. His warm smile was nothing but infectious.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine” I replied with a nervous smile as I bent down to pick up my trunk that I had dropped, which had thankfully remained intact. I stood up straight again, noticing the boy still standing there, studying me closely with his intense eyes.

 

I grinned a little before breaking the slight awkward silence that had formed “Nice reflexes. I bet you ‘d be great at Quidditch”.

 

He chuckled a little in reply, but was cut abruptly as someone behind me cleared their throat loudly, obviously in an attempt to move us on. 

 

I inwardly cursed Serenity, before stepping back a little to give him room to pass.

 

“Ladies first” He gestured with a grin, allowing me and the other girls to pass by and make our way down the corridor towards the exit.

 

“That guy was totally into you” Serenity whispered as we stepped off the train. I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disagreement.

 

The five of us were soon escorted across the dark lake in a small lantern-lit boat, and soon after, found ourselves huddled together in the Great Hall, awaiting the Sorting Ceremony. 

 

The Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, spoke a very many words of welcome and then finally a tattered, old hat was brought out, and placed on a small, wooden stool at the front of the hall. After a moment, a long tear along the brim of the hat opened in to what seemed to serve as a mouth, as it promptly burst into a drearily long song about each of the four Hogwarts houses. 

 

After this, thankfully the names of the first year students began to be called out. As each name was called, the student would take their place on the chair with the hat atop their heads, and after a few moments it would call out the name of the House the student was to belong to. I was horribly nervous for my name to be called.

 

“Black, Bellatrix!”

 

A petite, dark-eyed girl drifted slowly up to the Sorting Hat, radiating an unusual amount of confidence as she took her position on the three-legged wooden stool. I found it strange that this girl could be so calm, when every other first year student in the hall were all but shaking in their metaphorical boots. 

 

The hat had barely touched the long strands of raven hair upon her head before it shouted “SLYTHERIN!” and she skipped over to the Slytherin table, her nose in the air and her thin lips curled into what I could only describe as a satisfied smile.

 

“Black, Sirius!”

 

Next, the boy who I had bumped into on the train strode up to the front of the hall, wearing what to me looked like a rather concerned expression on his handsome face. 

 

The hat sat on top his shaggy hair for at least half a minute before shouting “GRYFFINDOR!” 

 

Sirius made his way to the Gryffindor table - the strange expression on his face remaining the same the entire time. 

 

I now strangely found myself hoping to be sorted into Gryffindor, rather than Ravenclaw.

 

Kendra was up next. Her head of springy curls bounced wildly as she tottered up to the stool. After being sorted into Slytherin, an uneasy look dominated her jade eyes.

 

Next, it was my turn. I all but sprinted to the front of the Hall, eager to get this over and done with. As the Hat was placed on my head, I only had to wait nervously for a moment, before I heard a low, harsh whisper in my ear.

 

“Gryffindor? Oh, no, no. That simply won’t do for you. You’re much too ambitious”

 

Immediately I felt my nose wrinkle in confusion - too ambitious? Was that not a quality of the brave house of Gryffindor?

 

“Not in the way that you are bound to use it” The hat continued, as if it were reading the very thoughts in my mind. I suddenly felt incredibly uneasy.

 

“Now then, let me see. Ravenclaw would indeed seem like an ideal place for you to be, would it not?” The hat whispered once again, and I silently willed the stupid thing to hurry up and make a choice – If it was Ravenclaw that it had to be, I would be happy enough with that.

 

“But your obvious lack of patience and disregard for those much wiser then yourself would suggest otherwise!” I was snapped at rather   
rudely by the raggedy thing before it let out a loud cry which echoed across the hall for all to hear.

 

“SLYTHERIN!”

 

In an instant, my heart dropped at the booming sound of the one word I had not wanted to hear, and I was quite stunned for a moment or two before releasing I was expected to move from my perch upon the stool.

 

I didn’t even bother to force a smile as I made my way to sit beside Kendra at the Slytherin House table and acknowledged the words of welcome from various other students, while waging a silent war on the stupid hat for putting me here in the first place. 

 

By the time I turned back around, Serenity was already sitting on the stool with the Sorting Hat placed upon her dark, cropped hair. I had butterflies in my stomach as I waited to hear where Serenity would be placed, and I desperately hoped it would be in Slytherin with me, so at least something good would come from the situation. I didn’t know how I would survive being in this strange new place without her.   
Suddenly the Hat gave a loud cry.

 

“GRYFFINDOR!”

 

My heart dropped for the second time in such a short time as I watched my sister perch herself nervously at the Gryffindor table, for I knew she would be feeling just as disappointed as I was to be separated from her. 

 

When the feast was over, we were instructed to make our way over to a certain prefect who would show us to our respective dormitories. Kendra and I had just walked out of the Great Hall together when I felt a firm tug on my arm, pulling me apart from the crowd rushing in to the Entrance Hall. I turned to face my kidnapper and found myself once again staring into the stormy eyes of Sirius Black, who still wore the same strange expression on his face. 

 

“It’s too bad you were sorted into Slytherin” He blurted out immediately, without so much as a greeting.

 

I signalled to Kendra, who was waiting nearby, to go on without me before replying.

 

“Tell me about it. I honestly think that stupid hat only sorted me there because I managed to piss it off somehow” 

 

Sirius’ expression softened somewhat at the mention of this, and his mouth quirked upwards slightly. Though before he had a chance to reply, an unfamiliar, high-pitched voice drifted our way.

 

“Well, well. Isn’t this cosy?” I turned to find Bellatrix Black watching the pair of us. A now familiar, malevolent glimmer inhabited her near-black eyes. The Entrance Hall had almost completely cleared out by this time - so much for finding my way to the dormitory.

 

Sirius, surprisingly to me at the time, snarled at the girl “What do you want?”

 

It was then that I made the connection. Both of their surnames were Black, as I had discovered in the Sorting ceremony - so surely they must be related somehow?

 

“Oh, nothing” Bellatrix crooned in her silky voice. Though I found it hard to believe that she had stopped to chat of “nothing” with the boy who, if his mutinous glare was anything to go by, had a thorough hatred of her.

 

“I just wanted to say that your parents are not going to be happy that their eldest son grew up to be a Gryffindor. Not happy at all” she added in a sing-song voice. I guessed that this information must have pleased her in some way.

 

Sirius’ eyes flashed darkly before he barked at the girl “You think I don’t know that?”

 

Bellatrix, merely ignoring his reply and instead turning her attention to me started slowly “You’re... Alexandra Cortez, right?”

 

Pearly-white teeth were shown through her attempt at a friendly, innocent smile - though I thought it obvious that her sweet smile was nothing but a fake. 

 

“Let’s find our dormitory together, since we’re both in Slytherin” she added - well, I needed to get to my dormitory one way or another.

 

“I’ll see you around, Sirius” I addressed Sirius, who was still glaring daggers at a smug-looking Bellatrix.

 

“You’re going to ruin her” he hissed in Bellatrix’s face as he stormed past her, not even sparing a glance in my direction, which I deemed rather rude of him. I watched his retreating back as he strode off angrily towards the marble staircase leading up to the first floor of the castle. I was nothing but utterly confused by his sudden change of attitude.

 

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at his melodramatics, and flashed me another brilliant smile.

 

“Don’t worry about him” She laughed off his retreat dismissively “You don’t need to degrade yourself by hanging out with his type”. 

 

She slipped her slender arm through my own and we made our own way to door concealed beside the large staircase that Sirius had previously disappeared onto.

 

“His type?” I questioned immediately, wondering what could possibly be wrong with the boy who had seemed so friendly when we first met earlier that evening “How do you know Sirius anyway. Are you family?”

 

“That sad, sorry sack of scum” Bellatrix began, in a clearly disapproving tone “Is my cousin”.

 

The next day, when I saw Sirius in my first ever Charms class, he was sitting in a group with three other boys - all wearing the red and gold ties of Gryffindor. Serenity, I observed, was seated at a table behind them next to Lily Evans, chatting happily. A sharp pang of jealousy twisted in my stomach at the sight.

 

After taking my seat beside Bella, who I was fast becoming friends with – despite my slight hostility towards her the night before - I took the chance to look over briefly in Sirius’s direction, and to my great surprise, found him staring back in return. 

 

His face was still set in the stony mask it had been since the Sorting Ceremony. I gave him a small, but unsure smile - though it was not returned. His eyes grew unnervingly dark. Even more so when the fair-headed Evan Rosier decided upon himself to take the empty seat beside me and strike up the conversation which marked the start of our long friendship.

 

It makes me feel like an idiot, now, to admit that I was more than a little hurt by the sudden coldness that Sirius had shown towards me. But noticeably, I became accustomed to it. 

 

It was never in my nature to waste precious time trying to please people, who were clearly not worth it to begin with.

 

***

 

It wasn’t until that weekend that I finally managed to corner Regulus alone, without the watchful eyes of Lucius boring into the back of my head like a silent dagger. 

 

Bella and I were returning to the common room after dinner, leaving Lucius behind in the Great Hall - accompanied by Evan and Rodolphus, who usually took around forty years to finish their eleven course meals.

 

Severus, I knew, was in the library working on his Defence essay on “How to effectively ward off a Nundu” or alternatively “Useless information unless you are planning on moving to Uganda and tracking down possibly the most dangerous beast in existence”. Or something like that. 

 

Needless to say, Severus was the only one of us who had had any motivation to start writing it.

 

It was as Bella and I were making our way to the great stone snake which marked the entrance to the Slytherin common room, that we bumped into Regulus and his trusty sidekick, Rabastan.

 

“Heeey, pretty ladies!” was our “friendly” greeting as we approached the two boys, who despite being two years younger; both towered over the pair of us considerably.

 

Bella, in her usually habit, rolled her eyes “Cut it out, Rab, unless you want me to tell Lucius you were sleazing on his girl” She snapped, wiping the goofy smile off the poor boys face. 

 

I smirked a little in amusement as Bella stalked off to the common room. She had never really had much patience for the younger ones’.   
I gave Rabastan a small nudge on the shoulder and grinned “Don’t worry about her, you know how she gets”.

 

“Boy, do I ever” Rabastan replied, a small grin playing on his lips once more “I dread the day she becomes my sister-in-law” he chuckled, and I openly laughed at the image of Bellatrix in a pretty, white gown walking down the aisle.

 

“Where are you two heading at this time anyway?” I asked the pair, a hint of suspicion evident in my tone. Not that Rabastan was likely to get into any trouble with his level-headed best friend around.

 

“We have an Astronomy chart due Monday” Regulus answered innocently, adding, with a playful nudge in Rabastans direction “We’re going to the tower so I can help Rab finish his”

 

Rabastan grinned sheepishly while holding up his blank star chart to confirm the information. I let out a soft laugh and shook my head in mock disapproval.

 

“Better get going then. The stars aren’t gonna wait for us all night!” Rabastan exclaimed, before they turned to head off.

 

I was quick to halt them for a moment “Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a sec, Reg” I started, then added in Rabastans direction “Alone”

 

Rabastan, clearly bewildered, glanced around the deserted corridor “Alex, we are alone”

 

I let out a short sigh before explaining “I mean alone, as in me and Reg. I have something I need to ask him. It won’t take long” I promised the boy who, predictably, raised his arms above his chestnut-haired head and cried “Oh, I can see when I’m not wanted!” before huffing off down the corridor.

 

I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at his dramatics, but when I faced Regulus once again, I could see he didn’t share the same amusement. His face was set in a familiar, grim mask, reminding me so much of the last time I had seen his older brother sitting across the other side of the Great Hall. 

 

“Regulus, I-“

 

“I know what you want” Regulus interrupted in a low voice, his dark brows knitted together in an anxious frown. I had always hated that look on him. He was far too young to be troubled by things that minds less brilliant then his own would so easily disregard.

 

“Reg, I just wanna know-“

 

“Look, Alex, I know you’ve been left in the dark here, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to tell you what’s going on, I really am” Regulus halted me once again, speaking swiftly before I had the chance to get a word in “But Lucius asked me not to say anything, and I really don’t want to piss him off”.

 

“You know I’d never say anything to get you in trouble with him, Reg. I know all too well how harsh he can be” I answered carefully, hoping to lure Regulus into telling me something, anything, that he knew.

 

“Sorry, Alex” Regulus said, relaxing a little but still standing firm on his word “All I can tell you is that you’ll find out everything soon. Once Lucius decides you’re ready to know”.

 

“Ready to know what?” I hissed through gritted teeth, thoroughly pissed off and distressed that I seemed to be the only one still left in the dark and the key to me finding the information I so badly wanted was left with Lucius to decide when I was ready. 

 

I mean, how was I supposed to help with whatever was disturbing my friends if everyone knew what it was but me? And Bella, I suppose. But her sympathy was rather limited at the best of times.

 

Regulus’ features softened and his mouth suddenly quirked into a small grin “You’ll find out in time, Alex. Trust me” he said, and of course, I immediately did “Just be patient a little longer, please. You’d save me a lot of trouble”.

 

The torment on my face must have still been evident, because suddenly I was being pulled by Regulus’ strong hold into a firm hug. All of a sudden I felt rather childish and silly. 

 

I could hear the steady beat of his heart as my head rested flat against his chest and I closed my eyes tight and sighed deeply, comforted by the simplicity of the sound.

 

“When did you get so much older than me?” I asked quietly and was met by the soft rumble of laughter that shook through his chest before he pushed me gently and held me out at arm’s length.

 

“Stop worrying, Alex. Everything will be okay”

 

I wanted so much to believe that this was the truth, that everything would be okay. But somehow I knew that things were changing, all around me. And I didn’t like it one bit.


	15. Identity

The month of October passed by quickly, and uneventfully. After the first few hectic weeks I had had back at Hogwarts, I found this sudden calm more than a little unnerving. 

Lucius had made the transition back into his usual, sweet self - being nothing less than the perfectly attentive boyfriend I used to know. The mysterious whispering, and not to mention the unexplained disappearances, had ceased completely. These days, the only place Lucius ever disappeared to was the Quidditch pitch - as he threw himself wholly into his role as Captain.

And I couldn’t help but notice how grown up Regulus seemed with every day that passed. No longer did his eyes hold the heavy burden that I had always thought never belonged there. He seemed genuinely happy – and for that, I was glad.

Xavier and I had kept up our new friendship – much to the suspicion of many of his Ravenclaw friends. My plan to sabotage Lily through Xavier was still fresh in my mind. And with Xavier all but eating out of the palm of my hand, all I had to do now was wait for the opportune moment.

And even Severus seemed to have an unexplained bounce in his step. The strange tension that had previously lay between himself and Lucius had all but vanished into thin air.

Everything had gone back to normal. That was with one exception – Sirius Black.

Ever since that night in the Great Hall over a month ago, there were no more snide remarks in the hallways. No more sneers, taunts, curses. The only thing I did ever receive was the occasional dark glare from James Potter. But apart from that, it seemed that in Sirius Blacks world, I didn’t exist.

***

“Oi, Alex! Pass me that dress, would you” Bellatrix’s head poked out from behind the bathroom door, her dark hair a dripping, wet mess of curls. She clutched a white, fluffy towel around her body, indicating that she had just stepped out of the shower. 

I turned away from the mirror I was currently standing in front of before grabbing a silk, scarlet dress off Bella’s bed. I trudged over to the bathroom impatiently, almost falling over Kendra in the process - who was sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor in front of her bed, which Violet was perched on the end of, madly pinning up Kendra’s mess of auburn curls with a million pins.

“You couldn’t have made things easy by taking this in before you showered, could you?” I said bitterly as I shoved the bundle of silk into Bella’s outstretched hand, and promptly spun back towards the mirror I was previously using.

“Be careful with that, it’s expensive!” Bella barked at my retreating back before slamming the door closed.

Tonight was October 31st. Night of the infamous Seventh Years Halloween Masquerade. Every year, the seventh year students of each Hogwarts House would come together for one night of sugar and alcohol infused fun – Supposedly frowned upon by the faculty, though it was widely known that Dumbledore gave consent for this event every year. How else would Hogwarts Head Boy and Girl ever manage to pull off a secret party in the Astronomy Tower – as it was rumoured that was where last year’s Masquerade was held.

However, since this year’s Heads were none other than Lily Evans and James Potter, we Slytherins weren’t particularly looking forward to the event. 

Mainly because seeing how pathetically in love James Potter was with the red-headed tyrant that was Lily Evans, we knew it was more than likely for him to have let the “mini McGonagall” have her own way - as far as the Masquerade planning went. Meaning that we were expecting to be on our way to some ridiculously daft tea party in the Gryffindor Tower – where any form of fun would be severely frowned upon.

And Merlin knows that living under the same roof as Bella’s parents, we had already had more than our fair share of those.

But supposedly, the whole point of the Halloween Masquerade was to let the senior students of Hogwarts mingle together in a social environment without having to care about which House they were from. 

Oh, how exciting that sounded. Not.

Another requirement of the night was for everyone to show up in costume, and surprisingly enough, none of us had chosen to be a witch for the night. 

Isobel, who was currently perched on the end of her bed painting her nails a sparkly-gold colour, was dressed in an elegant white gown with a golden halo charmed to float above her blonde, pinned-up hair. None of us were surprised at her choice of costume, really.

Kendra and Violet had decided to wear matching costumes. I honestly had no idea what the hell they were supposed to be, but it involved a lot of black lace, glitter and enormous wings.

Bellatrix, not surprisingly, had opted for the role as devil – complete with horns, tail, and a pitchfork I highly suspected will have been used as a weapon more than once before the end of the night.

I surveyed my own reflection in the mirror that stood before me, with mixed emotions. If anyone else but me was wearing the same costume, I more than likely would have tagged her a blood-sucking slag – which made me feel even more self conscious about the whole thing.

I was clad in a dangerously short black mini-dress, with a neckline that wove its way up into a ridiculously large collar. My hair hung in loose waves around my shoulders and my lips were coated in a disgustingly bright, red lipstick which Isobel had so kindly gifted to me last Christmas. And to top it all off, my feet were dressed in a pair of shiny heels which were almost the same shade of the lipstick itself. All in all, I didn’t exactly look like any Vampire I had ever seen – but at least it was Halloween, and I wouldn’t be the only person at the Masquerade who looked like a complete and utter idiot.

Half an hour later, the five of us left our dormitory, and went over the clue to the location of the Masquerade once more as we walked through the chilly dungeon corridors. 

“Beside that which is black as night is where you’ll find the shining light” Violet repeated the clue once more “Black as night? How are we supposed to find this place with a stupid clue like that? It’s almost midnight, for Merlin’s sake - everything is black as night” she complained as she fussed about with her short, chestnut coloured hair.

Kendra wrinkled her nose in thought “It must be out on the grounds somewhere. Maybe black as night means the sky?” she suggested, earning a hiss of laughter from Bella.

“How can you have a Masquerade beside the sky, idiot?” she mocked, causing Kendra‘s face to turn a deep scarlet in embarrassment.

“Cut it out, Bella” I snapped icily “I don’t see you trying to help us figure out the clue”

Bella glared at me darkly in return “Fine, let me think about it”

We had just exited the door leading us from the dungeons into the Entrance Hall before Bella spoke again.

"The lake" she spat out simply "It's black as night, so the party must be at the lake. See? I'm a genius, really" she added, with a smug look in my direction.

I shrugged my shoulders in response "We'll soon find out"

And soon enough, we marched down the path towards the lake only to find a large, dark marquee lit up with shining lights. Bella threw me a triumphant smirk, which was still visible even after she pulled her glitzy, red mask down over her eyes.

I held my own mask in my hands. It was rather plain - black lacquer with a few sparkly diamantes in each corner. In a swift motion I put it in place over my eyes, and tied the silk ribbon behind my head to secure it firmly.

As we entered the marquee, a rush of loud music hit my ears and I was amazed at how different it looked from the picture I had in my head. The marquee itself was midnight black, with the outside covered in tiny, twinkling lights. The inside was dimly lit in an eerie green glow and littered with glowing pumpkins, sticky cobwebs, dozens of dolled up students and best of all, a massive skeletal-looking bar located at the far end of the marquee – which Bella was hastily making a bee-line towards.

I sped off, almost losing sight of the scarlet clad girl, and viciously made my way through the various vampires, ghosts and pumpkin people until I finally caught up with her at the bar.

“Merlin’s beard, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move that fast in my life” I gasped and leaned side-on against the bar to catch my breath.  
Bella laughed dryly “If there’s anything that can brighten up this night, its alcohol” she drawled as a ghastly-looking bartender propped down two smoking glasses of a rather putrid looking green liquid on the counter top in front of us.

Bella slid the closest one over to me “I ordered for you”

“What the hell is this” I questioned, looking at the drink apprehensively.

Bella, who had just taken a swig of the stuff, dropped her drink back down on the bar with a loud thump, sending puffs of silver smoke flying out of the glass.

Tentatively, I lifted my own glass to my mouth and took a gulp – almost immediately spitting it back out. Merlin, this thing was strong. Trust Bellatrix Black to order the most toxic drink at the bar.

Bella rolled her eyes at the disgusted look that my face had scrunched itself into.

“C’mon, drink up. We have to go and find the boys” she downed her drink swiftly and ordered a couple more.

I wasn’t looking forward to it – but I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and tipped the scorching drink down the back of my throat. Once my taste buds had sufficiently ceased the blaze that the green liquid had struck upon them, I opened my eyes slowly and grimaced when I found yet another cup of the lethal fluid, full to the brim right in front of my nose.

The very sight of it made me feel nauseous – I seriously didn’t think my stomach could handle another. Bella pushed the drink into my empty hand nonetheless, and led me away from the bar.

By the time we found Evan and Rodolphus near the marquee entrance, my drink was half gone and a familiar buzzing sensation had decided to invade my brain. I pushed my mask off my face so that I could set straight my lagging sense of vision.

The first thing I noticed was that both boys costumes consisted of dark suits, white shirts - and gruesome masks which I thought bore a shocking resemblance to a pair of rotting corpses.

I grimaced at the picture that imprinted in my mind, shaking my head to rid myself of it. A short, piercing scream hit my ears for a moment, followed by a series of girlish giggles and I chuckled at the scene of Bella being pounced upon by an utterly hammered Rodolphus Lestrange.

Next thing I knew, without any warning at all my glass of toxic waste had been snatched out of my unsuspecting hand by an equally hammered Evan Rosier, who pulled his mask off over his head and brought the drink up to his nose to study it intimately.

“What in the name of Salazar have you got in here?” he questioned before giving it a quick sniff. I had to admit that his very appearance was laughably outrageous without the mask covering his face. His sandy hair was an absolute tousled mess, the jacket of his suit hung open, the top buttons of his shirt had come undone and there was no sign of a tie anywhere. It wasn’t hard to guess that these two had already gotten into Rodolphus’ stash of Firewhiskey.

I narrowed my eyes, letting a smirk crawl onto my lips “That, Evan - is the best damn drink you’ll ever taste”

Evan raised a single eyebrow inquisitively before taking a swig of the foul liquid, scrunching his face in disgust and pushing it back into my hand.

“I’ll let you keep that” he rasped, with a knowing smirk.

I grinned in return before suddenly noticing the absentees.

“You guys came without Lucius and Sev?” My forehead burrowed into a slight frown.

Evan lowered his face to mere inches within mine. A dark grin played on his lips as he purred “Whaddya need them for, sweetheart? You’ve got me” 

With one swift move, Evans arm found its way around my waist and he pulled me against him roughly. The distinct smell of Firewhiskey assaulted my nostrils and I grimaced at the memory of it – I knew all too well how carried away Evan Rosier could get when he had had too much to drink.

I reared back immediately, disentangling myself from his grasp “Evan!” I hissed in a low voice, warning him to back off.

“Oi, you two!” I almost jumped right out of my skin as a rather dishevelled looking Rodolphus called over to the pair of us. He had parked himself on a chair at one of the nearby black-clad tables, with a giggling Bellatrix perched upon his lap.

“Be a good lot and fetch us a coupla’ drink’s will ya? I’m a tad busy” 

I rolled my eyes as Rodolphus went back to nuzzling the nape of Bella’s neck, leaving me and Evan feeling very much like vomiting on the floor in front of us.

“Right then, beautiful” Without any warning Evan grabbed me firmly by the hand “You’re coming with me”

***

After numerous shots of vodka, and a couple more of those foul tasting drinks called “Dragons Breath” as the bartender had so kindly informed me – I was a right sloshed mess.

The four of us were seated on a pair of comfortable, leather couches positioned around a low table, now joined by Kendra, and a few boys we had learnt were from Ravenclaw – but were yet to find out the identity of.

There was still no sign of Lucius or Severus – and Evan was in no hurry to divulge any information on that matter, much to my annoyance.

Rather uneasily, I got to my feet and announced I was heading to the bar to get another drink.

“Pick one up for me, will ya sweetheart” Evan spoke from his seat next to mine.

“Sure” I answered, mentally thinking “Yeah right, you’ve had more than enough already mate”

I made my way tentatively around the dance floor – which had been positioned in the centre of the marquee – taking care not to bump into any of the madly drunken dancers or trip over in my heels, when I suddenly felt a firm tug on my arm.

Gently, I was steered to the side of the marquee and pulled out between one of the gaps in the structure. Like a rush of ice, the crisp night air hit me, and I found myself face to face with none other than Xavier Stone. 

His doe-brown eyes were burning into me with a strange intensity – his fingers fidgeting nervously.

“I need to talk to you” he spoke softly, lowering his face so that I could hear the whisper of his voice.

I pressed the palm of my hand against my forehead and closed my eyes tight in an attempt to steady myself. There was no way I was in any condition to talk to Xavier right now. Not if I didn’t want to sabotage the plan Bella and I had been working on for so long.

“Look, Xavier. Now’s not a good time” I countered, making my way back to the marquee before I was abruptly yanked back again.

“Alex, there’s something I really need to tell you” 

I looked over Xavier’s appearance quickly. He was dressed in a creamy, white suit – no sign of a mask anywhere, but that wasn’t surprising, most students had lost theirs in a drunken stupor by now. His cropped, russet hair was slicked back off his face in a way that, I had to admit, made him look nothing less than irresistible. 

I stumbled a moment, only to be steadied by Xavier’s firm hand on my arm – it seemed he was the picture of sobriety.

“Woah there” he chuckled lowly “You okay?”

I removed my arm from Xavier’s grasp, my forehead burrowed in a small frown as I moved back to the marquee.

“Yeah, I just – Can we talk later?”

Whatever Xavier wanted to tell me would have to wait. I pushed my way back into the marquee, my ears assaulted by the pumping of the loud music as I did so.

All but slumping against the bar, I waited for a bartender to finish his orders. My mind wandered briefly as I stood there. We had been at the Masquerade for over two hours, and still there had been no sign of Lucius, or Severus anywhere. I knew Lucius had his costume already – he had shown it to me only a couple of days ago. Why would he get a costume especially for the Masquerade if he wasn’t planning on showing up? Or maybe, he had planned to attend all along, but something had happened to him...

A loud thump of a glass – spilling out its frothy, pink contents on the counter top next to me – almost scared me right out of my skin.

A mutinous-looking blonde-haired girl was glaring at me from under a white, wide-brimmed witch’s hat. I laughed openly when I soon discovered it was not a “blonde” at all, but Serenity wearing a ridiculous long, blonde wig. She however, was not laughing – the look on her face was deadly serious.

“Who died?” I mocked as I leaned forward to rest my elbows on the counter top, feeling instantly disgusted at the stickiness that clung to my skin as I did so.

“Don’t give me that tone, Alex – I saw you” Serenity hissed at me – her ice-blue eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, and her mouth pressed in a tight, thin line.

“Excuse me?” I choked, having absolutely no clue what she was talking about. Though that wasn’t surprising – she was completely mad after all.

“Did you and Xavier have a nice romantic stroll under the moonlight? C’mon, tell me Alex – Is he a good snog?” Serenity spat sarcastically, though the fury was evident in her tone.

My own eyes narrowed dangerously “What the hell are you on about, you lunatic. How the fuck would I know that?”

Serenity wasn’t convinced “Do you really think I’m that much of an idiot – I saw you leaving the marquee with Xavier” she glared, and now I began to understand the sudden confrontation “It’s a bit of a coincidence, isn’t it? That he dumped Lily only a few days ago, and now he’s sneaking around with you”

I laughed aloud – her sheer stupidity was utterly amusing “First of all, I don’t think you’re an idiot, Serenity, I know you are. Secondly, I didn’t know until now that Xavier had broken up with Lily, though I’m glad he’s finally come to his senses” I sneered, earning a hiss from Serenity’s glossed up lips.

“And thirdly, he is not sneaking around with me” 

Serenity raised an eyebrow slowly “I find that hard to believe. I wonder if your boyfriend will too?” a triumphant smirk lit up her caked-on face before she turned on her heel and skipped off.

I groaned inwardly as I watched her retreating back as she slipped away and sat at a table on the far side of the room. Horrible, interfering wench. Lucius certainly wouldn’t be happy to hear a rumour like that going around.

Next thing I noticed was Lily Evans hunched over the same table, her head hung low with her long, fiery hair covering her face. She was dressed in what looked to be a figure-hugging, emerald dress - the bottom half of which was covered in glittering sequins to look like the tail of a mermaid.

Amazingly, the figure beside her, rubbing her back consolingly, was not that of Serenity Cortez – but James Potter. My eyebrows arched a little in disbelief – never before had Lily Evans let James Potter so much as lay a finger on her.

I assumed that she was crying over the so-called news about Xavier and me. Well, at least there was one upside to Serenity’s foolish stalking – the whole point of my plan had been for Xavier to break Lily’s heart. And even if it had happened sooner than I had planned – it had happened.

Ah, the taste of revenge was a sweet, sweet thing.

I smiled with satisfaction – that was until I felt the stormy eyes of Sirius Black boring into me. He was seated at the same table, on Lily’s other side. No doubt he had been dragged there once again by that lovesick idiot he called his best mate.

The expression he wore was unreadable – all of a sudden I felt incredibly unnerved.

I tore my gaze away from him and stumbled away from the bar, forgetting about ordering another drink. Roughly, I pushed my way through the mess of students madly dancing in the middle of the marquee.

Along the way I bumped into a frenzied looking Kendra – who was dancing rather provocatively with one of the Ravenclaw guys from earlier on, her auburn curls tumbling out from their previous pinned up positions. On closer inspection of the bloke – who was now devoid of the mask he had been wearing earlier in the night – I was amused to find it was none other than Maxwell Simmons – Xavier’s best mate.

“Alex!” Kendra squealed over the rush of music, loosening her grip on Maxwell’s neck for the moment.

“Have you seen Violet around? I haven’t been able to find her for hours!” 

Not that it looked like she was searching very hard, I shook my head in reply – I hadn’t seen Violet since we arrived. Though I had no doubt she would be doing much the same as Kendra was this very moment, only in a more secluded location.

If only I had known then how right I was.

I left Kendra on the dance floor with Maxwell, before making my way over to the marquee entrance and once again out into the night. For a moment I stood still, swaying only the slightest bit while I closed my eyes and let the cool air roll over my face.

I had no idea exactly where I was going, all I knew was one thing – I had to find Lucius before Serenity did, and explain to him what was really going on with the whole topic of Xavier Stone.

And I was prepared to do just that – until a pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around my waist from behind, and I found myself being pulled back against an even warmer chest while a familiar voice purred “And where do you think you’re running off to, sweetheart?”


	16. Fool To Believe

The warmth of Evan Rosier’s breath tickled my neck as he pressed his lips against my skin, causing every one of my hairs stand on end. A familiar jolt of electric shivers worked their way down my spine and I pulled away instantly, turning on my heel and scowling at the sandy-haired boy standing before me.

His glazed sapphire eyes burned into me intensely and I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the distinct smell of alcohol which was radiating off of him – pretty much every inch of him held the evidence of his latest alcohol binge.

Before I even had the chance to speak a word, his rough hands cupped my face and his lips crashed against my own. He kissed me hungrily – a sense of urgency radiating off his every move as he ran his fingers up through my hair intently.

Dazed, I found myself allowing his tongue to roughly part my lips in a mixture of Firewhiskey and lust and explore the warmth of my own mouth. His hands traced their way to the curve of my waist – I could feel the warmth of his fingertips through my dress and I pressed against him impulsively, urging him on.

A mere moment later my mind came crashing back to reality and a sense of disgust overcame me. I disentangled myself from Evans grasp and pushed him back forcefully, ignoring the faint spinning of my head which I hoped was an effect of the alcohol and not Evan’s kiss.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing” I hissed, only to be met by an innocent shrug of his shoulders.

“I think you know what I’m doing, Alex” Evan replied coolly, pushing a few loose strands of blonde hair back off his face “Or have you forgotten that night already?”

A rush of anger surged through me as he spoke “You promised me you wouldn’t mention that again, Evan. Promised” 

“I know. I’m sorry...” Evan answered gently and my eyes flitted closed as he moved forward to brush the side of my face, softly tracing my jaw line with his fingertips.

The rage I was feeling inside me ebbed somewhat and I found myself whispering faintly “You’re not sorry...” 

Evan chuckled lowly and his strong arms found themselves around my waist once more, drawing me in. The rush of heat was a welcome change from the chilly October air, though I knew it couldn’t stay.

“Evan...” I whispered, pressing my hand against his chest to prevent him from pulling me closer against him “You know we can’t do this again”

“Why not?” Evan questioned, and my eyebrows rose inquisitively - Was he serious?

“Because I have a boyfriend, Evan” I spat, pushing his hands off me “Your friend – Lucius Malfoy. Remember him?”

Evans eyes darkened considerably at the mention of the name. His mouth pressed into a tight, angry line.

“Lucius” he spat the name like it was a foul taste on his tongue. His narrowed eyes met mine – a pained look plagued them “You have no idea how it felt, Alex. That night we were together – It was all I wanted. I was happy”

“You were drunk” I countered at once, my eyebrows furrowing involuntary “We both were”

Evan continued, ignoring my statement completely “Then less than a week later, I find out you’re with him. I wasn’t even given an explanation, only an order..." At this he let out a dark, unnerving laugh “Don’t you ever let him find out, Evan. Promise me” 

Evan dropped his gaze to the ground and sighed before speaking softly “But I can’t keep that promise anymore, Alex. Because... I want you to be with me instead”

My breath caught in my throat as he spoke – I had never known that Evan felt that way about me. I loved Evan, I knew that much. But it had always stemmed from the fact that he was one of my closest friends. I had never really thought of him as anything more than that – apart from that one night we were together, but that was well over six months ago and I was a right intoxicated mess. I wasn’t exactly doing a whole lot of thinking.

Besides, we had both agreed that we had made a mistake and didn’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship – that was the end of it. Or so I had thought.

“Why are you telling me this now, Evan?” I questioned, earning a frustrated glare from him in reply.

“Because you’re too good for him, Alex” He hissed – his eyes burning with a new intensity “If you only knew what he was doing – you’d think so too”

Immediately, I stiffened “I - what are you talking about?” I asked cautiously.

Evan took a sharp breath inwards, as if he would take the words right back. He was seemingly unable to meet my questioning glare.

“Evan...” I pressed, my voice low and threatening “What is Lucius doing, exactly?”

He let out a deep sigh, still refusing to look at me. I was growing impatient. Roughly, I forced his chin up so he would face me – only to have my hand pushed away irritably.

“Go to his dormitory” he spoke shortly, running his hands through his hair anxiously “But do not tell him I sent you”

And with that he turned on his heel and strode off briskly. I didn’t waste a single second before I turned and hurried up the dark path back towards the castle – by the sound of Evans tone, something bad was going on. I had to find Lucius right away.

 

***

 

As I made my way towards the Seventh year boys dormitory I could hear voices. Silently, I crept along the wooden floor – my heels, which had previously been torturing me, were now being held in my left hand, leaving my feet icy cold from my stumbled tramp through the chilly dungeon corridors.

I approached the door cautiously and lay my hand on the cold brass handle, pressing my ear to the wood and listening intently. The low drawl of Lucius’ voice was evident, though I couldn’t make out a word he was saying. Then came the sound of another voice – this one clearly female. My face immediately started to grow hot with anger, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. 

What could Lucius possibly be doing in his dormitory with a girl? Needless to say, the picture that came to mind wasn’t exactly pretty.

Next, I heard the one sound that set my entire body ablaze – The fury swam through me viciously as I recognised the familiar tinkling laugh of a girl from my very own dormitory.

I pushed the heavy, wooden door open – not caring that I looked like a complete psycho – and was not entirely surprised to find my suspicions completely and utterly confirmed.

Violet Parkinson was perched beside Lucius’ four-poster bed – dressed in nothing but a black, satin slip. The dress that she had been wearing earlier had been carelessly tossed on the neighbouring bed, which I knew was Rodolphus’.

At the sight of me, Violets hazel eyes widened and her red stained lips formed a perfect “O”. She went to speak but I interrupted immediately, hissing a low “Get out!”

I very much felt I would like to stab her with the high heels I was currently holding if she uttered so much as one word.

Swiftly, she grabbed her dress off the bed before pushing past me and all but sprinting out the door, which I promptly slammed shut behind her before rounding on Lucius.

He had stood from his previous position sitting on the side of his bed and was currently buttoning the top of his black dress pants. The very sight of him made me instantly feel sick – my stomach was turning in a way that was making me incredibly nauseous, and this time I knew for sure it was not caused by alcohol consumption.

In one swift motion, Lucius swept his platinum hair back off his face before turning to me.

“Who told you?” He asked casually – almost as if we were having a nice conversation about the weather.

His words made my blood boil so violently I half expected for steam to come gushing out of my ears. I had just caught him alone in his dormitory with none other than my own roommate – who was coincidently dressed in something that looked like it might belong to a prostitute – and all Lucius cared about was who told me.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shrieked furiously, still not quite believing the situation I had landed in “Is that the only thing you have to say to me? Who told me? What does it matter who told me, Lucius, when the fact of the matter is that you’ve been up here fucking Violet and I seem to be the only one who didn’t know about it!”

Lucius winced at my rather un-lady-like language, but I didn’t care. I had never been so angry in my life. Even after all the fights I had had with Sirius Black and James Potter over the years, none of it compared to the pure fury I could feel coursing through my veins in this exact moment.

I felt like I was going absolutely insane – especially so when even though I hadn’t actually caught Lucius and Violet “In the act”, he hadn’t made any move to deny it.

Instead, he raised his eyebrows inquisitively “I suppose it was awfully foolish of me to trust Evan – given the way he feels about you” he threw out casually before pulling a crisp, white shirt over his arms and pulled it onto his back.

I knew he was trying to divert my attention, and unfortunately... it had worked.

“I – you knew about that?” I asked, confused as to why he had never mentioned it before.

A bitter laugh escaped Lucius’ pale lips “Honestly, Alexandra, who doesn’t know about that. It’s obvious enough, wouldn’t you say? The way he looks at you – defends you, especially against Sirius Black. It’s all quite pathetic really – I’d say I did him a favour by stealing you away when I did, love”

My throat tightened up instinctively – I really didn’t like the way this conversation was going.

“Stealing me? What the hell are you talking about, Lucius?”

Lucius, upon seeing my confusion, let out another low laugh “You don’t seriously think I wanted to be with you because I actually care about you?”

I opened my mouth uselessly to reply, but as much as I tried I could make no words pass my lips – I was quite literally speechless. I could feel the burning tears beginning to well in my eyes, threatening to spill down my face at any second.

Slowly, Lucius began to pace towards me “Love is an inconvenience, Alexandra. No man can hope to make his mark on this world while being held back by something so fickle as love. Surely a woman as ambitious as you can understand this”

And I did understand. Finally, I understood that all this time I had been nothing but a tool for Lucius to use in his insane quest for power. That all this time our relationship had been nothing but a lie – that all Lucius really cared about was having a pretty woman at his side as he climbed his way up the ladder of the Ministry, as he had been planning for most of his life.

It was rather unnerving how unsurprised I was to find that Lucius was capable of something so incredibly egotistical, and that I had merely been a part of his plan all along. I guess a part of me had always known that one day his ambition would get the best of him.

“You disgust me, Lucius Malfoy” I spat, my voice quivering with anger. Before I could stop them, the tears began to fall thick and heavy down my face “If you think that I’ll stay by your side and play the fool just so you can get what you want, you are sadly mistaken”

Never before had I felt such an utter sense of betrayal from someone I loved – but there was no way in hell that I was going to stand for it.

Lucius rolled his eyes, seemingly unimpressed with this answer “Please, love. You’re making an awfully big deal out of this, don’t you think?” 

“Big deal!” I snapped, letting my shoes fall to the ground with a clunk and wiping the tears off my with the back of my hand “I’d say you’re lucky I haven’t hexed you halfway to hell by now!” 

Though the only reason I hadn’t done so was because presently my wand was with Evan, as I had given it to him earlier in the night for “safe-keeping”. 

And it was that thought that gave me an idea. If Lucius didn’t care about me, as he had so kindly stated, then I didn’t see the need in keeping secrets any longer. Let’s see how smug he was when the tables were turned.

“I can’t believe I actually felt bad about sleeping with Evan” I spat, conveniently leaving out the detail of when this had actually happened.

A trace of anger flashed across Lucius’ face for a brief moment, and I felt a small burst of satisfaction. 

“Well then, perhaps then you would be happier with someone like Evan, who is so accustomed to catering to your every wish” he replied sourly.

I hesitated – Lucius noticed.

“I didn’t think so” His lips curled into a triumphant smile, yet again provoking the anger bubbling inside of me.

“You know what, Lucius, I would be happier with someone like Evan. Because unlike you he doesn’t go around screwing with people’s heads – he is completely unselfish. Something you will never be” I replied harshly.

Lucius surveyed me through his frosty blue eyes “You’re much too brilliant for someone as simple as Evan Rosier, love” he countered briskly “Now, if you will compose yourself we can head down to the party together”

I scoffed – was he really so deluded that he thought I would act like nothing had happened? It was utterly amazing how Lucius had never lost the vision that the whole world revolved around him.

“Screw you, Lucius” I hissed furiously through my teeth, desperate to get away from the monster in front of me “It’s over”

 

***

 

I ripped the zipper down the side of my dress furiously, desperate to rid myself of the ridiculous costume. After about a million years of yanking the skin-tight material up over my head, I rummaged through my trunk hurriedly, pulling out a clean pair of dark-blue skinny jeans and a strappy paisley top. Finally, after changing and pulling on my black knee-high boots, I chanced a quick look in the mirror – and the sight was far from pretty. 

I looked absolutely horrible. My usually pretty, blue eyes were disgustingly red and puffy from the angry, heart-broken tears that refused to stop falling down my cheeks, leaving a dark path of black behind them as they ruined my lashings of mascara. My hair was a dark, frizzy mess from wrenching my dress off madly, and my lips a dull stain of smudged red.

I stormed into the bathroom, splashing my face with icy-cold water before attempting to fix my ruined make-up – only leading to me becoming increasingly frustrated with my failed effort.

So I gave up, and after pulling my long hair into a ponytail I barged out of my dormitory, all but kicking down the door, and headed in the direction of the only person in the world that I wanted to see right now.

Bellatrix Black. My best friend – My only sister.

I trudged through the gloomy dungeons, instantly regretting the decision not to take a jacket before I had left the dormitory. Soon enough, I was pushing my way through the door to the Entrance Hall, where I stumbled upon a pair of blokes hauling their rather intoxicated friend – who was currently passed out by the looks of things – across the Hall to the marble staircase.

On closer inspection I recognised that the boys were none other than Xavier Stone and Maxwell Simmons. The one being dragged along was their fellow Ravenclaw friend, Oliver Oswald.

I started to turn back around – I was in no mood to speak to Xavier right now – but it was too late. Xavier called out to me, forcing me to face him.

“Alex – Are you okay?” He asked at the sight of me – concern etched upon his face.

“Yeah – I... I gotta find Bella” I mumbled in reply, shielding my face from him and hurrying off. Xavier tried calling me back but I ignored him completely, stumbling out the door into the dark night.

When I arrived back at the marquee the party was still very much in full force. I found Bellatrix still seated next to the same table that I had left her at earlier – I had barely glanced her way before she was on her feet and throwing her arms around me frantically.

“Alex, I’m so sorry” she gushed, speaking so fast that I could barely keep up “Evan just told me – I wanted to come and find you but he thought it would be better if I didn’t. I’m just so sorry – We’re gonna get that slag Violet back for this I swear”

I clutched onto her and squeezed my eyes tightly shut, willing the tears not to start falling again. I had always hated crying – It wasn’t something I did often, and I especially refused to cry in front of a crowd of people who had never seen me show any sign of weakness in my life. 

I let Bella soothe me until I was sure enough that I had my emotions under check. As soon as I loosened my grip on her my eyes fluttered open again. The first thing I saw was Evan, Rodolphus and Kendra seated around the same table – and all at once the burning heat of anger start rising in me again. I marched over to Evan, who stood to his feet as I approached him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier!” I demanded harshly, earning a dark glare in reply.

“I didn’t know until a few hours ago” Evan countered angrily in his defence “I had to go back to the dorm to get my jacket and I saw him there with Violet – He told me not to tell you”

I scoffed loudly “Since when did you start taking orders from Lucius?”

“I do not take orders from him!” Evan growled furiously in reply – his face merely inches from my own. I was vaguely aware of several people nearby watching our confrontation curiously, but I didn’t care.

“Oh really? Well that’s certainly not what it looks like to me!” I bit back furiously, instantly regretting it when I saw the way he looked at me in response.

I let out a long sigh and dropped my head - I was so tired of fighting, I had a raging headache, and right now the last thing I wanted to do was fight with Evan.  
“I’m sorry” I apologised softly before falling into Evans arms as he opened them for me.

“Don’t be” he murmured into my hair as he held me tightly – and I felt comforted as I realised how much I really had relied on Evan for support over the years. He had always been there to protect me, and I was damned if I was ever going to let Lucius ruin that.

“You gonna be okay, Ally?” Rodolphus slurred as I let go of Evan – using his favourite nickname for me, and one he knew I hated. He slung his arm around my shoulder and ruffled my hair affectionately. I nodded in reply and wrinkled my nose at the stink of alcohol that immediately assaulted my nostrils.

“Lemme go get you a drink” he offered oh-so kindly before stumbling off. By the looks of things, Rodolphus hadn’t stopped drinking in my absence – I couldn’t help but allow a small smile as I wondered if the drink would ever make its way back to me, Merlin knows I could certainly do with one.

 

***

 

An hour later I all but fell out onto the damp grass outside the marquee – starting to think that maybe drowning my sorrows had not been the best idea after all.  
Rodolphus had indeed returned with not just one drink for me – but an entire tray full. And after a bit of persuasion had convinced me to enjoy what was left of the night and worry about my mess of a life in the morning. He really could have put it in nicer words.

I can’t begin to explain how relieved I was that Lucius had decided not to show up – that was one person I was not looking forward to running into tomorrow... or should I say today, considering it was currently early morning. I was equally glad that Violet was nowhere to be seen as I still held my previous plans for my high-heels and her pug-nosed face.

Initially I had made this drunken stumble out into the night air convinced I was going to throw up the million or so drinks that Rod had forced in front of my face all night, positive that it would cheer me up – but now that I was out here, I didn’t think that was going to happen.

Feeling restless and keen for some silence over the noisy music inside, I started walking down to the edge of the lake, which was not too far away. The sinking moon was still casting its sparkling light over the dark water, making it light enough for me walk without tripping over any obstacles.

That was until I came to a small, grassy hill leading right onto a flat area of grass, which I began to trudge down clumsily – though I had barely taken two steps when my foot slipped on the grass and I fell backwards with a thud. Immediately, a series of giggles escaped me and within seconds my stomach ached from laughing. I lay back on the grass, closing my eyes as I attempted to compose myself.

“Who would’ve thought that falling on your arse was so much fun”

A familiar drawl drifted over to me and I bolted upright. There on the hill, not ten feet away from me sat Sirius Black. He was sitting casually on the grass, his legs out in front of him with his arms resting on his bent knees – he was dressed in a dark suit, jacket hanging open revealing a white t-shirt underneath.

I groaned lowly “Where the hell did you come from” I complained before pushing myself up onto my feet and stumbling the rest of the way down the hill.

“I was actually sitting there the whole time – before you came along falling over and disturbing the peace” Sirius replied. I turned to find he had followed behind me, an amused expression playing on his handsome face.

“You sure you weren’t just stalking me again” I muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

Sirius scoffed loudly “Why would I be stalking you” he questioned incredulously and I couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh wait, I remember now. Apparently I don’t exist anymore, right?” I replied, edging my way closer to the dark water of the lake “Well, I guess I should have expected that much from you”

“What the hell are you- Hey! Get away from there” Sirius briskly grabbed my arm and yanked me back from the edge of the lake I was teetering dangerously on the edge of.

I pushed his arm off me roughly.

“Don’t touch me” I spat icily.

“Well would you not try to kill yourself” Sirius barked in reply “I’m all for leaving you down here by yourself, but if you fall in the lake and drown then everyone will think that I pushed you”

I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at the ridiculousness of what he was saying. Hell, I was so drunk I think I would have laughed even if I did fall in the lake.

“I’m not gonna drown” I slurred, pacing towards the water only to be dragged back by Sirius’ firm grip on my arm yet again – and this time he didn’t let go, no matter how much I protested. Soon enough I gave up, not caring that his hand was still warm on my arm, though his grip had loosened considerably. 

“What do you want?” I questioned feebly as he stared down at me through his inscrutable grey eyes, not particularly caring what his answer would be. All of a sudden I was feeling incredibly weak – my previous jolt of energy seemed to be draining away rapidly.

I took my arm back before dropping down to sit cross-legged on the grass – barely a second passed before Sirius did the same.

I stared at him disbelievingly “You know, if you’re looking for a fight you might as well keep looking – I’m so not up to it right now” I stated simply – feeling incredibly unnerved as soon as the words had left my mouth. I had never passed off the opportunity to belittle Sirius in one way or another. I figured that it must be my lack of energy and rough night that had me feeling the complete opposite.

Sirius shook his head “I’m not looking for a fight”

My eyebrows rose inquisitively “Then are you drunk?”

“Not nearly as much as you” he countered with a dark grin.

I scoffed, and let myself fall back on to the cold grass – tempted to close my eyes and fall asleep right then and there, though still not completely convinced that Sirius wouldn’t push me into the lake if I did so.

Sirius was silent for a few moments before he spoke lowly “You know, that was a really horrible thing you did to Lily”

I was stunned. I mean, of course I had expected him to know something or about that, but the way he blurted it out like that had caught me off guard. I took a sharp intake of breath before replying. 

“That had nothing to do with me” I lied through my teeth, earning a sarcastic bark of laughter in reply.

“Sure it didn’t. Serenity told me – “

“Are you serious?” I bolted upright, surveying Sirius’ shadowy expression sternly “I know what Serenity told you and I can tell you now that there is nothing going on between me and Xavier. It’s not my fault that my sister is a complete whack-job that likes to make up ridiculous stories in her head – you can blame my parents for that”

The look on Sirius’ face was all I need to know that he didn’t believe a word I had said – Even though it wasn’t my fault that Serenity was a moron.

He glared at me darkly “I happen to know for a fact that you are an awfully good liar” 

I guessed that he was talking about our encounter in the Great Hall – and I couldn’t blame him for thinking so, really.

Still, I rolled my eyes dismissively before laying back on the grass once more, leaving my knees bent and my feet flat against the ground “I’m not lying”

Sirius turned his head round to look at me. I couldn’t make out his expression without the light of the moon shining on his face, but I guessed he had only done so to glare at me some more – as that was clearly his all-time favourite hobby.

“Well, whether you’re lying or not, I guess... I should thank you anyway” he replied lowly.

What did he just say? I was so stunned at his words I barely managed to choke out “What are you-?”

Sirius shrugged, turning back to face the lake.

“James is ecstatic – he’s been waiting for Lily and Xavier to break up for months”

Immediately I understood and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes once again. Of course James-idiot-Potter was ecstatic – he’d been chasing that red-headed prat around for years.

“So you’re telling me that James enjoys seeing Miss Prissy all heartbroken and sobbing her eyes out” I asked sarcastically – knowing full well that that wasn’t the case at all.

“That’s not what I – You know, I wonder how that boyfriend of yours will handle the news about you and Xavier” He replied icily. He was trying to draw a reaction out of me – I was all too familiar with the techniques he used to do this, but it wasn’t going to work this time.

“What boyfriend” I said bitterly in reply before closing my eyes tightly. The pain of Lucius’ betrayal was still very much fresh in my mind – my chest couldn’t help but seize up impulsively at the mention of him, but I was damned if I was going to cry in front of Sirius Black of all people.

“You and Malfoy broke up?” Sirius questioned, and I ignored him completely. The last thing I wanted right now was to discuss the infuriating git that was Lucius Malfoy.

I let my arms rest comfortably on top of my stomach and yawned loudly - I was quite literally exhausted. The grass was icy cold under the bare skin of my shoulders and I couldn’t help but start to shiver a little – but I didn’t think I could sit back up, even if I tried. The last of my energy had decided to just wither away in that moment. Oh, how convenient. 

A moment later, a pair of warm hands found their way under my back and pushed me upright. I grumbled in protest – the only thing I wanted was to lie back down and fall asleep, but it seemed I was going to be rudely robbed of that dream.

“Here, put this on” Sirius ordered, draping his jacket over my shoulders which I lazily pushed my arms through the sleeves of.

“Why are you – “

“Wouldn’t want you to die of hypothermia now, would we” Sirius teased darkly.

I pulled the over-sized jacket around me tightly, revelling in the warmth. 

“You’re awfully obsessed with the thought of me dying” I mumbled, barely audible. My eyelids were drooping threateningly, and I couldn’t help but let them close once more.

Next thing I knew, Sirius had scooped me up in his arms - one under my knees and the other supporting my back firmly.

Immediately I panicked, thinking that he really was going to throw me into the lake and let me drown – and no doubt enjoy every second of it – until he spoke softly.

“Calm down, I’m not gonna do anything to you” he said, clearly amused at my reaction “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed – and I can’t really leave you down here now, can I”

It must have been the alcohol corrupting me because for some reason – I actually believed him.

I let my head fall gently against the warmth of his shoulder as he carried me, and breathed in the familiar scent of his cologne – which was a welcome change from the toxic smell of Firewhiskey – before closing my eyes, and finally letting sleep overcome me.


	17. Civil

My head was pounding so viciously it felt as if someone was trying to crack it open with a hammer. Not a particularly pleasant sensation I tell you now. I opened my eyes slowly - first one, then the other – instantly regretting the choice when a sickening, spinning sensation added itself to the throbbing pain.

I was currently lying in my bed – though with no memory of how I had gotten here. For a moment I let myself hope that the events that had happened the previous night were nothing but a bad dream and that now I had woken everything would go back to normal. But upon discovering I was still dressed in the clothes I had been wearing when I had gone out – and not to mention Sirius’ jacket, which was still pulled around me tightly, smelling exactly as he had last night – I knew it would never be normal again

I would never let myself trust Lucius again for what he had done – and I would certainly never forgive Violet for her part in it, either. It hurt my pride to no end to know that someone I loved had betrayed me so deeply.

Reluctantly, I snuck a peek out through the velvet curtains surrounding my bed – scrunching my eyes at the blast of sunlight that instantly attacked them. I wasn’t surprised to find Bella’s own curtains still shut tight around her bed.

A quick glance at the small, brass clock on my bedside table told me it was nine forty-five. Our first class of the day, which was double Defence, had started long ago - and I had no intention of getting out of bed in time for Charms after lunch.

I let my head fall back onto my pillow heavily, and it wasn’t long before I fell asleep once again.

 

***

When I next woke up it was to the sound of voices. First of all I heard Bellatrix chattering loudly – her lack of compassion for those of us who were half-dead obvious.

“Will you lot shut it!” I grumbled loudly, pulling my pillow out from behind my head and attempting to cover my ears. That was until my curtains were rudely pulled open and someone tore the pillow off me.

“Morning, Alex” Severus was standing above me, clearly amused at my dramatics.

Reluctantly, I sat up – my hands instantly flew to my forehead as the pain in my head flared up once again and I groaned lowly.

Next second I was met by a goblet of a pale, orange coloured liquid being thrust at me by Bella, who was looking rather less worse for wear then I most certainly did.

“Drink it” She ordered, holding it up under my nose.

A putrid smell immediately filled my nostrils and I couldn’t help but gag.

“What the hell is that?"

“It’s a tonic – I managed to talk that assistant of Mellicks into giving it to me. It’ll get rid of that headache” Bella replied and I took the goblet off her immediately – that was all the convincing I needed.

I gulped the liquid down as fast as I could, trying my best not to throw it all back up – the taste was horrid. But Bella was right – within seconds my headache had started to dissipate and after a minute it had vanished completely. Though the nauseous feeling of wanting to vomit was very much still there.

“So, what exactly happened with you and Sirius Black last night, hmm?” Bella asked, her arms folded across her chest.

I groaned inwardly “What are you talking about?”

I couldn’t possibly tell her what had happened with me and Sirius last night because I myself had no idea. The last thing I remembered was him hauling me off the ground by the lake in my drunken state – who knows what could have happened after that.

I didn’t seem to be injured in any way, at least.

Bella raised her eyebrows “Well after your little disappearing act we went out looking for you, thinking you were in some sort of trouble – until we actually found you safe and snug in the arms of Sirius Black” She spoke the last sentence in a sing-song voice, though her face showed she was clearly disgusted by the thought.

“You should have seen Evan when he saw Black there outside the common room – he went absolutely mental” she continued “I can’t believe it didn’t wake you up, the way Evan and him were at each other’s throats” Bella cackled as she relayed the scene.

“I was out cold – I don’t think anything could’ve woken me up” I muttered in response.

Bella snorted “Tell me about it. Kendra and I had to drag you up the stairs and believe me, that was no bloody picnic”

“Then you should blame that bloody boyfriend of yours for getting me in that state in the first place” I replied derisively.

“I brought these back for you” Severus interrupted. He was seated at the foot of my bed, holding out my wand and pair of red pumps. I took them both gratefully, until I felt some sort of sticky residue on my shoes – which I guessed was probably from the alcohol I was spilling all over myself last night. I performed a quick cleaning charm on the pair of them before dropping them with a loud clunk on the floor beside my bed.

“Thanks Sev. But – How’d you get up here?” I questioned, as the Girls’ dormitory was strictly off limits to boys - the staircase had a nasty habit of collapsing if one so much as tried to climb it.

Sev smiled sheepishly from behind his black curtain of hair “I borrowed Rods’ broom” he replied and I laughed openly – Severus had never been the best flyer, and the thought of him struggling to fly Rodolphus’ broom up the staircase was nothing short of hilarious.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay” Severus added, brushing his hair out of his eyes “Lucius is a jerk for what he did”

I nodded in agreement – I still wasn’t feeling up to talking about the subject of Lucius. All I knew was that me and him were finished, and quite frankly, I’d be happy if I never had to see his face again.

“I know he’s a jerk – and I’m fine” I answered, smiling through my lie. I was much too proud to let Lucius know that he had wounded me like this. The best thing, I thought, would be to pretend I was fine.

I glanced at my clock quickly and was surprised to find it was close to dinner time – I had quite literally slept all day.

“Feeling hungry?” Bella asked, thankfully changing the subject “Sev and I were heading down to dinner"

My stomach growled furiously at the mention of food, but I was reluctant to see anyone else right now – Lucius especially.

Bella, who could obviously read the expression on my face spoke again “You should stay here and sleep that hangover off some more. I’ll bring something back for you”

“Thanks, Bella” I breathed gratefully and it was then that I remembered Severus’ absence from the masquerade.

“Wait a second, Sev, where were you last night?”

Severus faltered a moment “You know parties aren’t really my thing, Alex” he answered with a half-smile “Especially one’s those half-wit Marauders are attending”

At once I snapped “You didn’t go because of them?” I asked incredulously – I was so sick of Severus being harassed by that bunch of prats. I knew the only reason they targeted him specifically was because they knew he wouldn’t retaliate and they enjoyed watching him suffer.

“It’s okay – I had Transfiguration homework to finish anyway” Severus answered and I cringed at once, forgetting all about the Marauders.

“Shit! That’s due tomorrow, right? I completely forgot”

Bella cackled “No need to stress – it’s done already”

I raised my eyebrows at her – she certainly did have a talent for finding students to do our homework for us.

“Yeah? Who’d you get to do it this time?”

“Montana Price. Fifth year – she was more than happy to do us a little favour” Bella replied with a sinister smile.

I breathed in relief. I did not particularly want to land myself in detention once again.

After about a thousand years of trying to convince the pair of them that I was fine, and they should go down to dinner without me, they finally left.

It was only after they had gone, and I was left alone, that I let my smile falter.

***

After another full night’s sleep both my head, and my heart were feeling considerably better, and even though I had slept in and missed breakfast – mostly on purpose because I was delaying the prospect of seeing Lucius again – I thought it was best I got up for my Potions class that morning.

Bellatrix, who usually relied on me waking her up as soon as I did, was skulking along beside me – slightly pissed that she had to go to class on an empty stomach, though it was her own fault really.

I had been doing a lot of thinking that morning – about Lucius mostly. As much as it hurt me to know what he did, I couldn’t help but feel that now I was no longer with him – I was free. Free from his sharp eyes, his brooding moods and his expectations. I didn’t have to care about what he thought of me anymore.

“What the bloody hell are you carrying this thing around for?” Bella questioned, interrupting my train of thought and snatched Sirius’ jacket out of my hand. She held it to her nose and gave it a wary sniff.

“This is Black’s, right?”

“Yes, which is why I’m returning it to him” I replied impatiently and took the jacket back from her.

“What?” Bella asked disbelievingly, her forehead set in a frown “Why don’t you just burn it!”

“Because... Well – that would be rude” I replied rather half-heartedly, having not even considered that option.

Something was seriously wrong with me

Bella snorted “Since when did you care about being rude” she asked, staring at me sceptically.

I ignored her question as we were nearing the Potions classroom – and my stomach had started a series of nervous flips. I forced myself to keep calm – I knew I would have to see Lucius again sooner or later, though that didn’t mean it would be any more pleasant.

Lucius was seated at the table nearest the door, next to Frank Longbottom, and his cold gaze immediately met mine as I entered the room. His face was its usual expressionless mask, and even after I had torn my eyes away from his own I could feel his sharp stare burning into me.

Before I left my dormitory this morning I had made the decision to keep my cool, plant the fakest smile I could muster on my face and make everyone believe I was completely fine.

And I had achieved all of that so far – until my eyes came upon the dark haired-boy sitting next to the seat I was cruelly forced to occupy and a familiar glint of anger surfaced inside me. After what Severus had told me about why he didn’t want to attend the Masquerade the other night – there was no way in hell that I was going to play nice with Sirius Black.

Roughly, I shoved the jacket at him before sitting irritably and leaning my elbows on the table in front of me.

Sirius had his eyebrows raised at me disbelievingly – making me feel incredibly awkward.

“Good morning to you too, Cortez” he drawled – his amusement evident in his tone “Aren’t we just a box of sunshine this morning”

I inhaled sharply, ignoring him completely as he continued.

“You were in quite a state the other night, weren’t you” he stated with a taunting grin “I hope your day of skipping classes has put you in a better mood”

Still, I continued to ignore him.

“I have to admit I’m surprised to see this again” he said, holding his jacket up to inspect it “I thought you would have, I don’t know, burned it – or done something equally horrible”

I groaned inwardly – was I the only one who didn’t think of that?

“I don’t even get a thank you for dragging your drunken arse back to your common room?” he started again, and I knew now, by the tone of his voice that he was purposely trying to provoke me.

He grinned smugly at me and I glared at him darkly in return “No, you don’t get a thank you – you disgusting prat” I spat bitterly “Because of you and your stupid little friends over there” I continued, pointing to nowhere in particular “Severus didn’t want to show up to the Masquerade at all!”

A bark of laughter escaped Sirius’ lips before he replied “Good! The less I have to see of old Snivellus the better”

“Don’t call him that” I warned – very aware that Severus was sitting only a few feet away from us.

Sirius, however, wasn’t given the chance to respond as Professor Slughorn entered the room to begin the lesson.

“Good morning class – I trust you’re all rested and recuperated from your exciting Halloween night” Slughorn bumbled and Sirius nudged me in the arm knowingly.

I growled and elbowed him back roughly – that sure wiped the stupid smirk off his face.

Slughorn let out a low chuckle “But such things a Professor ought not to know, eh? Let’s get on with the class then. Today we will be concocting a Mandrake Draught”

I groaned – Mandrakes were one of the few things in the world that totally creeped me out. Luckily the one’s we used in class were already matured and ready for potion use.

“The Mandrake Draught is used to cure petrification. But beware, this draught is a particular tricky one – team work is essential” Slughorn added with a stern look in Bellatrix and James’ direction.

“The recipe is on the blackboard, as well as on page two hundred and forty-five of your books. Good luck”

I snatched my book out from my bag and darted off to get our potion ingredients before Sirius could start speaking to me again.

Once I had reached the store cupboard, which wasn’t so much a cupboard but more a small, high ceilinged room with shelves full of various potion ingredients littering the walls, I opened my book to find what I needed.

I found a jar of mandrake easily enough, and took a large piece out of it – it was dried and wrinkled and I felt disgusted just looking at it.

“So I’m guessing you’re not too happy with me” I jumped in fright as Sirius spoke in my ear quietly.

I rolled my eyes – boy, was he a smart one.

“Go away” I hissed “I can get these myself”

I reached for a jar of dried nettles which was on a higher shelf – but as much as I stretched I couldn’t get hold of it. I turned around to find the ladder, but before I could locate it, Sirius reached above my head and brought the jar down.

“Of course you can” he grinned as he pushed the jar into my hand.

By now a few students were entering the room. I could see Remus Lupin eyeing the pair of us curiously from the corner of my eye so I moved on – with Sirius trailing behind me.

I crouched down to look for pomegranate juice on the bottom shelf, but had a hard time locating it. The ingredients were supposed to be stored alphabetically but sometimes things got mixed up. I searched around on the shelves above instead.

“Look, I’m sorry for calling Snape “Snivellus”” Sirius whispered beside me, seemingly not wanting to be overheard by the other students looking for their ingredients “I promise I won’t do it again... around you” He added with a smirk.

I stopped what I was doing and stared at Sirius in disbelief “What the hell is wrong with you?” I questioned and was met by a dark frown.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s like you’re trying to be... civil” I explained, more than a little suspicious as to what Sirius was up to.

Sirius raised his eyebrows inquisitively “Perhaps it’s my maturity catching up with me

I snorted in response “Highly doubtful – “

“If you two aren’t doing anything productive, do you mind getting out of the way” I was rudely interrupted by the angry scowl of Lily Evans – who was standing with her hands on her hips in front of us, glaring at me darkly.

I opened my mouth to protest before Sirius pulled me by the arm out of the way and held a vial of pale, red liquid up to my nose.

“Pomegranate juice” he grinned proudly, distracting me from Lily.

“You’re up to something” I stated simply before pushing the nettles, mandrake and potions book into Sirius’ arms “Since you clearly don’t need my help, you can find the rest by yourself”

I stormed out of the room and returned to our table instead to prepare the cauldron. A few minutes later I noticed Violet pass by me. She attempted an uneasy smile, though I merely glared at her in return and she hurried off quickly.

Sirius, who witnessed the exchange on his way back to our table, eyed me curiously.

“I heard what happened with her and Malfoy” he said lowly, indicating to Violet with a nod of his head.

I stiffened immediately, swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat – of course he had heard. Half the bloody school had probably heard by now, if not the whole lot of them. And I could guarantee that more than half would say I deserved it too.

“Kind of ironic, isn’t it? You find him shacking up with your roommate the same night you’re fooling around with Stone” Sirius continued with a bitter laugh.

I glared at him darkly “I’ve told you already – there’s nothing going on with Xavier and me” I growled “I’m hardly going to lie about that now, am I”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed “Then what about you and Rosier? He seemed awfully upset when he saw me with you outside the common room – and all I was doing was waiting for someone with the bloody password to get you in there”

I fussed myself with sorting out the ingredients for our potion before I answered. I myself was still not too sure on that subject – I knew how Evan felt about me, but I didn’t know if I felt the same way.

“It’s... complicated” I replied, while searching in my potions book for the first step to distract myself from thinking about it.

“So something has happened between the two of you then?” Sirius asked while plucking the knife I had picked up out of my hand and began to cut the mandrake himself – he obviously hadn’t forgotten the last time I had threatened him with it.

I took the top off the vial of pomegranate juice and poured it into the cauldron, heating it slowly.

“Why do you care?” I asked Sirius accusingly, narrowing my eyes at him.

Sirius shrugged in response “I don’t – I’m only trying to make casual conversation with my Potions partner so that she doesn’t try to stab me with a knife again” he said sarcastically while waving the small knife in my face.

I slapped his arm away irritably “How about we discuss your love life instead, hmm? Tell me, Sirius Black, the name of your latest conquest” I spat sarcastically, added a drop of snake venom to the cauldron and stirred it briskly.

“I do not have conquests” Sirius threw the mandrake in the cauldron, taking extra care to make sure the hot liquid splashed on my hand.

I drew my hand back instinctively, preparing to slap the stupid sod right on the face – but he caught my hand roughly before I did so.

“Don’t even think about it” he hissed down at me – his nose barely an inch away from my own.

I could feel the curious gazes of Kendra and her partner, some dark-headed Gryffindor girl, who were at the table nearest us. I snatched my hand back instantly and continued to stir the potion as the book instructed, ignoring Sirius’ dark stare.

So much for being civil.

***

I was relieved to get away from my idiot of a Potions partner when the class had ended. I had spent the remainder of the class desperately trying to ignore Sirius and his probing questions – I was still certain that he was up to something; why else would he be acting so strange?

It was in my next class, Transfiguration, that I was confronted by Xavier Stone.

Professor McGonagall had ordered us to choose someone to pair up with from the other house, so immediately I darted to Xavier – since he was the only Ravenclaw I knew remotely anything about, and felt bad about avoiding him the other night at the Masquerade.

We had been working on the topic of Untransfiguring and were given the task of turning various objects back into the animals they were supposed to be. The tricky part of it all was that we had to actually guess what animal the object was supposed to be before we Untransfigured it.

How in the name of Salazer am I supposed to know what animal a pair of spectacles used to be? Xavier, thankfully, chanced a lucky guess and got it right – It was an owl. Really, what does an owl have to do with spectacles? Hogwarts is a madhouse, I tell you that now.

The entire class was in absolute disarray, with various animals flying and darting about the room – and McGonagalls unsuccessful attempts at ordering students to keep them under control.

Xavier and I had already successfully Untransfigured our animals, letting them run wild and free around the class as we watched the madness unfold in front of us. I leaped onto the nearest table to escape a hungry-looking badger that had decided to snuffle around my feet – obviously in an attempt to look for food.

Xavier joined me, Transfiguring a pencil into a large, black umbrella to shield the pair of us from the various species of birds squawking above us – McGonagall reallyhadn’t thought this lesson through very well, I guessed.

“Is it safe to say I can talk to you now without you running away from me?” Xavier grinned as we huddled under the umbrella together.

“As long as that skunk over there doesn’t come our way, I won’t be going anywhere” I promised, and Xavier grinned in reply.

But his expression soon changed into something more serious.

“I heard about you and Malfoy breaking up” he said lowly – aware that Lucius was in the same class we were.

My throat immediately tightened at the mention of his name – that was the second time today that subject had been brought up, though I guess it should have been expected.

“I know it’s not much use now, but, remember that thing I wanted to tell you at the Masquerade?”

I nodded my head in response.

“It was that I saw Malfoy and that girl, Parkinson, leaving the party together earlier on. Looking pretty cosy too,” Xavier admitted, his dark eyebrows knitted together in a frown “I just thought you should know”

“Oh...” I responded quietly, feeling like the biggest git for brushing Xavier off that night when he was only trying to help me.

The awkward silence that had formed between us didn’t last long, however, as McGonagall swooped down on the pair of us.

“Miss Cortez and Mr Stone. These tables are not for sitting on – they are strictly to be used for work only!” She growled as she hurried past us in a whirr of green robes – waving her wand around like a madwoman. How she knew it was us I will never know, as we were half concealed by a large umbrella.

As an afterthought, she turned around and added “Where on earth did you get that umbrella, Stone?”

Xavier peeked his head out under the brim “Transfigured it, Professor!” he yelled through the noise surrounding us.

Professor McGonagall merely shook her head at us disapprovingly before she marched off to help Kendra and Maxwell, who seemed to currently be cornered by a large peacock that they had just Untransfigured from a paper fan.

Xavier and I moved back to our chairs, though I made sure to keep my feet off the ground this time.

“So I hear you and Evans broke up too” I said to Xavier in a casual attempt to take the focus off my pathetic excuse for a love life “You didn’t tell me”

Xavier blushed a little before he answered simply “I didn’t really want to make a big deal out of it – Lily was always busy with her Head Girl duties, so we didn’t get to spend much time together. I thought it would be best if we ended things” he finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

I forced myself to bite my tongue instead of congratulate him on his lucky escape from the horrible wench.

“Funnily enough, she approached me yesterday asking if it was true that you and I were together” Xavier added with a laugh “Now where would she get an idea like that?”

I groaned in response “I think that’s the work of my good for nothing sister – she’s out to get me I swear”

Xavier shook his head in amusement, but said nothing more on the topic.

Thankfully, McGonagall soon let us leave class early as she rounded up Mr Filch to help her control the last of the straggling animals. Personally, I would have loved to hang around and watch that old Squib get trodden on by a couple of goats – but unfortunately upon asking McGonagall if I could do so I ended up with twenty less House Points and a dirty glare from said Squib himself. So instead I hurried off after Xavier to wait outside our Arithmancy class.

***

I left the library later in the afternoon, with Kendra and Isobel, heading to the Great Hall. We had finished working on our Arithmancy homework - which was the only homework I actually had to do myself as none of the students in the years below us actually knew how to do the work.

It was during Arithmancy that day that I realised that even without the underlying motive of sabotaging Lily Evans I had first had when I struck up my friendship with Xavier – I actually, genuinely liked the guy.

Xavier was patient, he made me laugh – and most of all, he had an unexplainable way of making me totally forget about everything I was worrying about.

I was talking to Kendra about her budding romance with Xavier’s fellow Ravenclaw friend, Maxwell, when I was abruptly halted by a tall, pale haired boy stepping into my path.

It was Lucius – and he did not look happy. He lowered his face to mine before speaking.

“You and I need to talk”

Kendra snorted beside me “I don’t think she wants to speak to you” she spat, jumping to my defence.

Lucius turned to her, looking thoroughly irritated.

“I don’t believe anyone asked for your opinion, you filthy half-blood”

I rounded on Lucius at once “Don’t you dare talk to her like that” I growled, before briefly telling Isobel and Kendra to go on without me.

“What do you want, Lucius” I asked sharply when they were out of hearing range “I really don’t have the patience for you right now”

Lucius raised an eyebrow curiously “No, I daresay you’re much too busy with Stone, or Black or whoever else is vying for your attention these days” he replied venomously.

I laughed in disbelief – was he seriously going to play that card.

“I don’t have time for this” I spat impatiently, moving to pass him but instead he grabbed my arm roughly before stepping and blocking my way.

“You and I need to talk” he repeated again, this time narrowing his eyes at me – it seemed I wasn’t going to get away that easily.

I exhaled sharply “What could be so important that you need to resort to violence to tell me” I spat, snatching my arm out of his firm grasp.

Lucius folded his arms across his chest briskly and lowered his face to mine once again before he spoke lowly.

“It’s about the Dark Lord”


	18. Rebel

“It’s about the Dark Lord”

 

I inhaled sharply – the past few weeks I had almost let the thought of the mysterious man named the Dark Lord slip my mind. I had been more than a little curious when I had first heard about him and learned of Regulus’ fear and Severus’ disapproval. Now, it seemed, I would finally discover the truth behind the Dark Lord.

 

Lucius’ eyebrows knitted together darkly as he scanned the corridor we were currently standing in.

 

“We should find somewhere more private to talk” he said quietly, his voice stern.

 

I shook my head at once “I’m not going anywhere with you”

 

Lucius’ severity made me feel nothing but uneasy. As much as I wanted to hear what he had to say, I didn’t particularly want to be anywhere with him alone. At least I had the comfort of knowing that students would be walking down this corridor on their way to dinner.

 

Lucius narrowed his eyes at me, but didn’t press on. Firmly, he took me by the arm and led me around the nearest corner to a narrower, shadowy corridor.

 

I pressed myself back against the cold wall as Lucius stood uncomfortably close – staring down at me intently.

 

“I know you were asking questions about this earlier in the year” he spoke harshly, leaning a hand against the wall beside me “But you weren’t ready to know then”

 

“And I am now?” I asked bitterly, only to be met with a twisted smile.

 

“No” Lucius drawled “But given the circumstances – I suppose this is a better time than any”

 

I didn’t reply – instead, I waited for him to continue.

 

“The Dark Lord” Lucius began, his lips only an inch away from my face “Has kept relatively low the past few years – enlisting Witches, Wizards, even creatures to join his uprising. You may have heard of the mysterious deaths – though not while in this damned place. Everyone knows that Dumbledore does his best to keep news like that from infiltrating Hogwarts”

 

I swallowed nervously - there had always been mentions of strange deaths and disappearances at the hand of a rebel group when Bellatrix and I had returned home for holidays, though her parents had always brushed it off if when we came asking questions. Could it be that they knew the truth and simply didn’t want us to know?

 

“Soon, the Dark Lord will be making a stand against the Wizarding World, with the intent to bring down all Mudbloods – creating an entirely pure Wizarding race”

 

I faltered a little, everything I had discovered so far about this Dark Lord so far seemed to be true – he was planning a rebellion.

 

“What do you mean bring them down?” I asked cautiously, not particularly certain I wanted to hear the answer.

 

Lucius’ lips twisted into a grin “Destroy them” he answered simply.

 

I exhaled sharply, my breathing became shallow – I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked Lucius, already knowing the answer before he spoke it.

 

“He’s looking to recruit fresh, young talent to join his cause”

 

The look on Lucius face was one of the utmost pleasure and I knew then that all of this – all that this new terror stood for – was exactly what he had always wanted. Plain and simple, Pureblood dominance.

 

I heard footsteps coming from the nearby corridor and Lucius lowered his face to mine abruptly, his lips almost touching my own, in an attempt to make anyone who might cast a glance our way to believe we were merely a love struck couple seeking a brief moment alone.

 

My mind clouded over as his cold lips brushed mine lightly – my heart raced like mad. It was not easy for me when I had broken up with Lucius, I knew that he would still have the power to make me feel so incredibly weak – especially with the way he was standing temptingly close, luring me into him.

 

But this was the guy I had caught sneaking around behind my back with my roommate – the same one who took pleasure in the thought of innocent Witches and Wizards being destroyed. I turned my head sharply at the thought, and Lucius backed off a little before letting out a jagged breath.

 

“What I’m asking you, Alexandra, is to join us” he said softly, his steely eyes piercing my own “Join us in serving the Dark Lord – and take your share in the power he is offering us”

 

My eyes lowered to the ground instinctively – I didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, I was all for Pureblood dominance. I had always known that we Purebloods were more talented, more gifted and superior to anyone below us – the blood that flowed through us gave us the right to be so.

 

But to destroy people’s lives in the name of it all didn’t seem right to me. It was so beastly – so ungraceful – I didn’t know if I could be a part of that all.

 

Lucius, sensing my hesitation, hissed down at me darkly “Don’t make me ask you twice, Alexandra” his harsh gaze burned into me “I’ve been patient with you so far but I’m telling you now that you will join us – you do not want to make an enemy of me”

 

I stared at Lucius disbelievingly – I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to speak to me like that. Like I was his to command, and push around, and threaten. His harshness was so demeaning that I could feel unexpected tears begin to form but I forced them back desperately – no way was I going to let Lucius bully me like this.

 

“I just don’t think its right to turn to violence and murder so that we can live more comfortably” I answered defiantly, trying to steady my voice as I did so “You know that I want Pureblood supremacy recognised as much as you do – but not like this”

 

Lucius, who was far past losing his patience snapped “All that matters is that we rightfully take our place above the filth below us – why does it matter how we do it!”

 

I shook my head, still standing firm as I spoke icily “I can’t do it”

 

This, apparently, was not at all the answer Lucius was looking for – by now he looked absolutely furious.

 

“You will do this” he said dangerously low, his voice laced with venom “I’m telling you that now”

 

“You can’t push me into it, Lucius!” I retaliated without delay, bringing myself up to full height to stand against him.

 

At once, Lucius drew his hand back before bringing the back-side of it down clean against the side of my face with a hard blow, forcing my head to the side roughly. My hand immediately flew to the place he had hit me in an attempt to calm the sting of pain – my eyes were wide in disbelief.

 

“I will not have you making me look like an idiot – the Dark Lord expects us all to join him and I have promised him so” Lucius hissed in my ear once again and I faltered. Who exactly had he promised the Dark Lord would join him?

 

I didn’t get the chance to ask as I heard heavy footsteps coming our way. Lucius turned, and I at once lifted my gaze to find Sirius Black advancing on us – his wand drawn and his face twisted into an expression of pure fury. He was trailed closely by Remus Lupin – who seemed to be in the middle of an attempt to restrain his murderous-looking friend.

 

Soon enough Sirius had steered me behind him, firmly getting me out of the way before he was in Lucius’ face – his wand pressed roughly against the blonde-haired boys throat.

 

“What the hell are you playing at Malfoy” he spat bitterly, his eyes dark with rage “Don’t you dare lay a hand on her again”

 

I was in a stupor, the pain in my face completely forgotten at the scene of Sirius Black defending me against Lucius Malfoy – this was certainly an unexpected turn of events.

 

Lucius, his chin tilted up slightly from the pressure of Sirius’ wand, smirked darkly in return – his own wand was held loosely in his hand by his side.

 

“Well, isn’t this curious” he replied derisively, clearly as amused as I was stunned at the scene “I never thought I’d see the day when you, of all people, would stand up for her”

 

Lucius indicated in my direction as he spoke and I thought it strange how only a few days ago, if we were in this very same situation I would be hexing Sirius halfway to hell by now in Lucius’ defence. But after everything Lucius had done – after he had finally shown his true colours – I really didn’t care.

 

“I’m standing up for her because it’s the right thing to do” Sirius growled, his voice dangerously low “Though I wouldn’t expect you to understand that”

 

Lucius laughed bitterly before replying “Is that so? Here I was thinking that it was because you actually cared for her”

 

I stiffened immediately. I knew that what Lucius spoke wasn’t true – there was no way in hell that Sirius Black could ever care about me. But even so, I couldn’t help but wonder exactly why he was here right now – and why I was letting him threaten one of my own like this.

 

I found myself holding my own wand ready to use against Lucius if he so much as thought about hexing any one of us – though I doubted he would, as he was clearly outnumbered.

 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, Malfoy. You and that vile father of yours – I know where his money is being invested” Sirius snarled darkly, ignoring Lucius’ previous statement “If you think that no-one will put a stop to this then you’re a bigger idiot then I thought”

 

By now I had completely lost track of what Sirius was talking about – what did he mean he knew where Mr Malfoys money was being invested? I didn’t see what he had to do with this at all.

 

Lucius face was expressionless once more as he drawled “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

 

It was then, with Lucius’ calmness and Sirius’ rage playing out in front of me that I felt compelled to step in and put a stop to it. I cut in between them and firmly, I pulled Sirius’ reluctant hand away from Lucius face.

 

“That’s enough” I hissed at Sirius lowly and grudgingly he let his arm fall to his side. I didn’t have time to say anything to Lucius before I felt him brush past me and stride off down the corridor briskly. I let him go without a word – I was nothing less than disgusted at the way he had acted.

 

Sirius raised his hand to the injured side of my face gently and my breath caught in my throat at the warmth of his touch.

 

“Let me see that” he commanded softly.

 

I moved away from him hastily before snapping “Just leave it!”

 

My state of mind at that moment was completely shattered – I still couldn’t understand why Lucius had been so brutal, I had never before seen him act like that. And to have Sirius Black, of all people witness it and guard me against Lucius - it was all so unnatural. I felt as if I had fell into some alternate universe where all the roles had reversed, and I was stuck in the centre of everything with no clue as to what was going on around me.

 

“We should head to the Great Hall – James and Peter will be wondering where we are” Remus addressed Sirius, who shook his head in reply.

 

“You go on, Moony – I need to speak to Alex” Sirius replied gravely, not removing his stormy eyes from my face. The way he used my first name instead of my last was so unfamiliar – I wondered if he thought the same as he spoke it.

 

Wordlessly, Remus turned and disappeared down the corridor and I took the chance to ask Sirius the one question that was on my mind.

 

“What do you mean you know where Mr Malfoy’s money is being invested?” I questioned at once.

 

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me incredulously “You’re telling me you don’t know about that?” he asked disbelievingly.

 

I shook my head in reply – feeling more than a little stupid. Should I have known about that?

 

Sirius let out a deep breath and scanned the length of the corridor before answering “You’ve heard of this Wizard, the Dark Lord, right? He calls himself Voldemort – and from what I’ve heard, Abraxas Malfoy has put a good deal of his wealth over the years into helping him raise his army”

 

I couldn’t help but gasp softly. Lucius’ father had always been a man with firm beliefs – I guess it should have come as no surprise that he was involved in something like this.

 

“How do you know this?” I asked Sirius at once. I knew that he wasn’t in contact with his family anymore, so I couldn’t figure out how he would have heard about it – or if it was even true.

 

Sirius’ forehead burrowed in thought, as if he was deciding whether to tell me or not. After a few moments he spoke “James’ father has a number of friends at the Ministry – it’s useful for finding out information”

 

I gathered my thoughts – if the Ministry knew about all of this then it must be a lot more serious then I had originally thought.

 

“I know that Malfoy has been involved with Voldemort, and I’ve heard that he’s being used to recruit people for Voldemorts army straight out of Hogwarts” Sirius lowered his head as he spoke quietly “What I want to know now is... Are you a part of it too?”

 

I could sense Sirius’ hesitation as he asked, and I couldn’t blame him for it. For so long we had been on opposite sides of the map with our beliefs and attitudes – but now, I didn’t know what to believe.

 

I knew, without a doubt that I didn’t want to be part of a group who used violence and destruction to achieve their goals – but both Lucius and Sirius had said that they were recruiting students from Hogwarts. What if my friends became a part of that? Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Evan – even Severus. When it came to making the ultimate decision, would I really be able to let any one of them be involved in something like that without wanting to be there to protect them?

 

I shook my head as I answered Sirius “I’m not a part of it” I answered truthfully, as I wasn’t – not yet anyway.

 

Sirius let out a deep breath in relief “I was hoping you’d say that” he said, sounding a lot less sombre then he had before.

 

Still, I was confused “Why do you care whether I’m involved with Voldemort or not?” I asked – the name sounded foul on my tongue as I spoke it.

 

Sirius didn’t respond for a few moments – he simply stared at me, as if he was assessing me for something. It felt incredibly intimidating.

 

“I know you care about Regulus” he spoke slowly, gauging my reaction “And as much as it embarrasses me to say – I think that he thinks of you more as family then he does me”

 

I didn’t reply – I still didn’t understand where Sirius was going with all of this.

 

“I’m afraid that he’s going to get caught up in all this Pureblood madness. That he’s going to want to run off and join this uprising – and that he’ll get himself killed” Sirius admitted – his eyes plagued with anguish.

 

It was then that I finally understood what he wanted. This act he had put on the past few days, his attempt at being civil. It was all because he was trying to get to Regulus – and his plan was to do it through me.

 

At once I felt the familiar spark of anger flare up in me “You expect me to do your work for you, just because you were stupid enough to abandon him?” I spat bitterly – thoroughly pissed off at constantly being thought of as nothing more than a tool that can be used and then discarded when no longer needed.

 

I mean, I wanted Regulus to be kept out of harm’s way just as much as Sirius did – he was still just a kid after all, only just turned sixteen – but there was no way in hell that I was going to protect him for Sirius Blacks sake. I did it for my own reasons only.

 

Sirius, sensing my annoyance, frowned darkly “Alex, that’s not –“

 

“Save it, Black – I don’t wanna hear it” I glared at Sirius reproachfully before pushing past him and all but running back down the corridor.

 

I shortly reached the doors of the Great Hall, with Sirius trailing behind me – still trying to reason with me about Regulus, but I wouldn’t hear a word of it.

 

The moment I walked through the door I left him and headed to the Slytherin table immediately, squeezing myself in between Evan and Rodolphus, who shuffled to make way for me.

 

After my encounter with Lucius I was feeling extremely vulnerable – and not to mention furious at Sirius for trying to use me as his personal messenger.

 

If there was anyone in the world who could make me feel better, it was the two buffoons beside me.

 

“Merlin, Ally – what the bloody hell happened to your face” Rodolphus asked through a mouthful of food. Dinner had not yet been served – so I had no idea where the hell he had gotten the bread roll he held in his hand from.

 

Evan positioned his hand under my chin, turning my head to face him to inspect the red mark that had formed.

 

“How’d you get this?” He asked lowly, his tone laced with concern.

 

Further down the table, I could sense Lucius watching me. He was seated with Severus and Violet – just the sight of the two of them together made my stomach churn unpleasantly.

 

“It’s nothing” I mumbled, turning away from Evan abruptly and ducking my head a little more.

 

Evan continued to stare at me darkly “Did Black do it?” he asked bitterly “I saw you come in here with him”

 

I shook my head at once and spat defensively “No, he didn’t. He was just following me around – being a prat, as usual”

 

Evans eyebrows furrowed darkly “I’ll sort him out for you”

 

“No” I snapped at once – only to be met by a pair of enquiring stares on either side of me.

 

“What’s gotten into you?” Rodolphus asked suspiciously.

 

“Nothing – I’m just tired, that’s all” I lied, though it seemed to satisfy as an answer.

 

Next moment, the smell of various foods filled the air as the table all but overflowed with food. While Rodolphus was busy helping himself to a large plateful, Evan whispered in my ear.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about the other night at the Masquerade” he said quietly and I stared at him curiously – I had been beginning to wonder when he would bring that subject up.

 

“I’m sorry if I was out of line – I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” he apologised and my lips quirked into a small smile.

 

“It’s fine, Evan” I assured him “I just had no idea that you felt that way about me”

 

Evan dropped his eyes a little before replying “I never said anything before because I didn’t want to cause any problems – but, I meant what I said, Alex. I still want us to be together”

 

My breath caught a little as he repeated those words – I still didn’t know how I felt about Evan. It was like something was clouding my mind, making it impossible to even think about any possibility of me and him.

 

“I don’t want to push you into anything, I know it’s probably a little too soon for you after everything that’s happened with Lucius – but I want you to think about it” Evan continued and I felt him lay his hand on my knee under the table – his warmth radiated through the fabric of my jeans.

 

“You know I’d look after you, Alex” he said gently and I nodded in agreement – he certainly would look after me, perhaps better than anyone else.

 

But I couldn’t help thinking about the Dark Lord’s uprising – and the thought of my friends joining his cause. If Evan decided to be a part of that then I would be expected to as well, even more so if I were his girlfriend.

 

“I’ll think about it” I promised him truthfully “Just give me time”

 

Evan seemed satisfied with this answer and he immediately busied himself with dinner. I myself filled my plate with a few things – though I picked at my food rather half-heartedly as I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry.

 

As much as I tried to convince myself that maybe it could happen – I couldn’t really see the possibility of Evan and me being together anytime in the future. We had been friends for far too long, it was hard for me to think of him as anything else.

 

As we headed back to our common room after dinner, Bellatrix waited to confirm we were alone in our dormitory before she slammed the door closed and rounded on me.

 

“Isn’t it amazing, Alex!” she gushed, her dark eyes bright with excitement.

 

“Excuse me?” I laughed at her enthusiasm, though I had no idea what she was talking about – I hadn’t seen her act like this in years.

 

Bella all but jumped onto my bed next to me, making a mess of the stack of parchment I had just lain down. Her dark, wild curls were falling around her shoulders freely.

 

“The Dark Lord” she breathed, almost with a sense of longing “Rod told me all about it this afternoon. Didn’t Lucius tell you?”

 

“Oh, right” I answered, less enthusiastic than Bella obviously was on the subject “Yeah, he told me”

 

I had dreaded that I might get a reaction like this from one of my friends – the pure delight etched upon Bella’s face was I needed to know that this Dark Lord had her approval.

 

Bella surveyed me curiously through her dark eyes “You don’t seem pleased about it?”

 

“I- I’m just not sure about it all yet” I answered honestly, quickly adding “You say Rod told you – he’s one of Voldemorts followers?”

 

“Don’t say his name!” Bella hissed at once, glancing around the room like a madwoman.

 

I scoffed in disbelief “Why not?”

 

“He must only be referred to as the Dark Lord” Bella answered lowly, her eyes completely serious “And yes, Rod has joined him – as well as Evan and Severus”

 

My stomach dropped immediately – every single one of them had submitted to this murderous leader? Every one of my closest friends, who had always done anything to protect their own, were content to go out and ruin other’s lives in the name of Pureblood supremacy.

 

“When did this happen?” I asked her in anguish – I could hardly think about what this might mean for me.

 

“Over the summer” she answered simply “Both Rod and Evan’s fathers are Death Eaters – naturally, they expected their sons to join them”

 

I faltered at this information, not quite understanding “Death Eaters?”

 

“The Dark Lords inner circle” Bella explained while raising her dark eyebrows “I don’t understand – didn’t Lucius mention any of this to you?”

 

I shook my head grudgingly “We had a bit of a dispute – he didn’t get the chance to tell me a lot”

 

“The Death Eaters are basically the Dark Lords right-hand men – his most loyal supporters. Almost everything we’ve ever heard rumours about was done by them” Bella explained and my mouth dropped open in astonishment.

 

“Rod and Evans fathers are Death Eaters” I said, more as a statement then question – I couldn’t believe that they could be capable of such senseless brutality; to me they didn’t seem like the type to do that at all. Not these men who had always been so kind to me – so fatherly.

 

Bella, sensing my obvious torment, studied me questioningly “What’s wrong, Alex?” she asked – her voice laced with concern “I thought you’d be happy”

 

I shook my head in response “Don’t you think it’s all a bit ruthless?” I asked her, knowing that if anyone would give me an honest answer, it was Bellatrix “I mean, Lucius told me he plans on wiping out all Mudbloods – I don’t think I can be a part of that”

 

Bella laughed anxiously “You’re just kidding around, right?” she asked, though her face fell dramatically as she realised I was deadly serious “Alex, I thought this was what you wanted? Finally someone has the courage to lead Purebloods to their true destiny – how can you not understand that?”

 

My eyes dropped downwards immediately – I couldn’t stand to meet her gaze as she looked at me with such distress. This was my best friend – my family – and here we stood with two completely different views on a belief I thought we had always shared.

 

“We’ll be meeting with some of the Dark Lords other followers next weekend, on our trip to Hogsmeade” she explained, her voice suddenly small and unsure “I can’t do this without you, Alex – all of us need you there with us”

 

I faltered – I had known that eventually I was going to have to make this choice, but I never expected it to be so soon. Bellatrix could clearly sense my uncertainty, though I knew she could never understand it.

 

“Please, Alex” she pleaded – her large, black eyes troubled “You’re my best friend – please do this. Think of Evan, and Rod and Severus. It would break their hearts if you weren’t with us”

 

I let out a heavy sigh – It had been easy for me to stand against Lucius on this subject. But with Bella and the others – I just couldn’t do it. It broke my own heart to think of ever abandoning them.

 

I knew that what the Dark Lords supporters stood for was everything that I had ever wanted. I knew that we Purebloods were truly as good as royalty – and that I should fight so that every Witch and Wizard would finally appreciate that. Even if I didn’t agree with their methods, I couldn’t desert my friends to them – we had to stick together.

 

“Alright...” I breathed, ignoring my nagging conscience and giving in to her requests “I’ll go”


	19. Excel

Over the next week the terrifying news of Lord Voldemorts uprising spread through the school faster than Fiendfyre – and the students of Slytherin were all but torn.

There were those who gave their support freely – whether by their own, or their parents will, it didn’t matter. And there were the others who adamantly refused to join the rebellion – either out of fear, or sheer opposition to the brutal nature of the cause.

And then there was me – sitting on the fence in the middle of both sides, and quite unwilling to commit myself wholly to either.

The other students of Hogwarts were looking at us with a new fear in their eyes – everyone knew the Slytherins would be the first to take this chance, us older students most of all. They were beginning to fear that Hogwarts – the one place they thought they would always be safe – was suddenly under threat.

***

The second week of November had finally arrived, and come mid-week, Bella and I found ourselves seated in the Great Hall for breakfast – barely able to hear each other over the thundering racket surrounding us. 

 

All classes had been cancelled to make time for the first Quidditch match of the year – Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

 

The pre-game wars had been just as vicious as they always were – though the only player to suffer enough damage to be pulled out of the game was unfortunately our own Seeker, Erastus Wilkes, who had been overcome by a nasty case of Doxy-Spores – an effect of ingesting Doxycide which some moronic Gryffindor had slipped into his pumpkin juice. He was isolated in the Hospital Wing until Professor Slughorns potion had fully matured enough to cure him.

 

Lucius had been even more unbearable in his attempt to find a replacement Seeker at such short notice. In the end it had been Regulus who was given the position – and we all knew that Reg was a fair flyer, but had no idea how he would perform as a first-time Seeker. He was currently down at the Quidditch Pitch, along with the rest of the team who were warming up for the game that would start in less than an hour.

 

“Hi Bellatrix, Alex” Xavier Stone greeted us on his way to the Ravenclaw table for breakfast. Bella nodded her head curtly in reply.

 

“Excited for the match?” Xavier directed the question at me and I gave a friendly smile in response.

 

“Of course” I replied, feeling Bella’s curious stare on the two of us, yet choosing to ignore it.

 

“And what team will you be cheering for?” I teased the dark-haired boy as he grinned down at me.

 

“Why, the reigning champions, of course!” He answered sweetly before he said his goodbyes and strolled of to his breakfast.

 

I turned my attention back to Bella to find her eyebrows raised curiously.

 

“You two seem to be getting along awfully well” Bella drawled, clearly unimpressed “He and Evans have broken up, you know – you don’t have to keep pretending to be his friend”

 

I narrowed my bright eyes at her “I’m not pretending to be his friend, Bella, I actually like him”

 

Bella looked at me sceptically before giving a small shrug of her petite shoulders “It could be worse, I suppose – he could be a Gryffindor”

 

A spark of anger flashed through me as my thoughts immediately turned to Sirius Black – who I had been firmly ignoring in every class since he had tried using me as a damn owl between himself and Regulus. And let me tell you now that any hope I had of passing Potions this year, had been firmly destroyed.

 

That’s not to say that Sirius hadn’t actually tried talking to me, and reasoning, and just straight out annoying the hell out of me – but I was stubborn enough to firmly bite down on my tongue and continue to pretend that he didn’t exist.

 

“I wonder how Lucius feels about this new romance of yours” Bella said, shooting me a sly grin.

 

I glared at the dark-haired girl “It’s not a romance – and this might surprise you but I don’t actually care about what Lucius thinks anymore”

 

Bella let out a snort of laughter “What about Evan?”

 

I groaned inwardly – Evan was certainly not happy about my friendship with Xavier, and wasn’t afraid to voice it. Though he hadn’t been pushing me into making my decision about whether I wanted to be with him or not – It was clear to see that he was growing impatient.

 

I myself, had been attempting to avoid the whole topic altogether.

 

“If Evan has a problem with it too bad” I dismissed the question with a wave of my hand, but Bella continued to glare at me through dark slits.

 

“You know that he’s a half-blood, right” she said distastefully and I rolled my eyes lazily in response, guessing she meant Xavier.

 

“Are you deliberately trying to put me off him?”

 

“No,” She replied, her voice laced with mock sweetness “But how do you think he’d feel knowing that you’re about to become one of the Dark Lord’s newest recruits? What with his mother being a Mudblood and all”

 

At once, I hesitated. I had already been questioned by Xavier about this whole Voldemort business – and I had not been able to help but feel ashamed at my choice as his inquisitive eyes bore into me.

So I had done the one thing I was best at – lied, and prayed to Salazar that none of my Slytherin friends would find out I had done so.

 

But how could Bellatrix possibly know that Xavier’s mother was a Mudblood? She had barely spoken two words to Xavier in her life.

 

At my puzzled expression she lowered her head closer to mine and answered “The Dark Lord ordered Lucius to find out the students at Hogwarts who are either Mudblood themselves, or have any in their family”

Immediately, my stomach dropped. If Xavier’s mother was Muggle-born – that meant that she was in danger, especially if Voldemort knew about it already. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Xavier having to worry about his mum, especially with all these rumours of Voldemort going around.

“But that’s got to be at least half the school – maybe even more,” I answered disbelievingly “There aren’t many Pureblood families around anymore, most of the students in Slytherin aren’t pure-blooded. Kendra, Severus – what happens to half-bloods like them?”

I found it strange to be talking about the subject in the Great Hall, surrounded by other students. But the noise was so great that I knew no-one could overhear us.

Bellatrix surveyed me darkly “The Dark Lord is willing to make an exception to those devoted to his cause”

I didn’t say anymore – what Bellatrix was saying was completely absurd. Why anyone would want to make a Pureblood world using a half-blood army was beyond me.

The look on Bellatrix’s face was all I needed to know that she was deadly serious about this. And I suppose that not too long ago I would’ve felt the same way. But now, all I felt was that these people and their Pureblood beliefs were starting to get way out of hand – my best friend included.

***

 

 

The five of us who weren’t Quidditch players; Severus, Narcissa, Rabastan, Bellatrix and myself huddled ourselves together at the front of the stands at the Quidditch pitch, attempting to ward off the chilly November wind.

I pulled my emerald scarf up to my chin and gave an involuntarily shudder as I gazed at the dark clouds looming above, threatening to spill heavy rain over the pitch – this certainly wasn’t going to be an easy game, no matter what the weather turned out like.

 

The stands soon began to fill up with students and it became apparent who were the favourites to win despite the other team being, as Xavier had said, the reigning champions.

Gryffindor and Slytherin Houses were dressed in their own house colours, understandably – it was the two other houses of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw that caught my attention. Hufflepuff was a sea of red and gold, not a speck of green was to be seen anywhere.

Ravenclaw, though it was predominantly made up of students cheering on Gryffindor, had the odd few who had chosen to sport our colours of green and silver. Namely Ravenclaw’s own team captain, Maxwell as well as fellow team members Xavier and Oliver.

It wasn’t long before both teams emerged from the locker rooms and onto the field – clearly snarling and attempting to intimidate their rivals as they did so. I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw Rodolphus discreetly swing the end of his broom as he turned, promptly striking Gryffindors petite Seeker, Selene Silver, in the back of her blonde head. Hogwarts flying teacher, Professor Hester, swiftly intervened, barking a warning at Rod, who merely shrugged his shoulders innocently.

The team captains stood face to face in the middle of the pitch, on either side of Professor Hester, each eyeing the other threateningly. Reluctantly, they roughly shook hands, and James Potter, almost a head taller than Lucius, snarled down at him before they mounted their brooms and Lucius and Gryffindor Keeper, Minnie Kirraley took their positions at the hoops on either side of the pitch.

With a sharp blow of his whistle, Professor Hester tossed the Quaffle into the air and the game began. James took possession of the Quaffle first and streaked off down the pitch with Evan and Rodolphus following closely behind him, their bats at the ready.

Evan struck the first Bludger towards James, who dodged it swiftly before tossing the Quaffle down the pitch to fellow Chaser, Aaron Dridge. But what James’ had failed to notice was Rodolphus strike the Bludger he had previously dodged back in his direction. Gryffindor Beater, Sirius Black, reached James just in time to deflect the solid ball which would have otherwise knocked him clean off his broom.

The audience was alive with cheers and boos – and I gladly joined in with the chorus around me shouting insults at Sirius.

Our Slytherin team had the best Beaters in the school – no-one could deny that. The thing that made Evan and Rodolphus so outstanding was their ability to work together flawlessly, as if they could sense each other’s location on the pitch. Individually, they were talented Beaters – but together they had practised and mastered so many various dual-Beater tactics that they were completely in a league of their own.

Sirius Black was a fair Beater, I’ll give him that, but the real thing that let the Gryffindors down was their other Beater, Colin Young - a weedy, Irish bloke who sometimes I thought couldn’t tell a Bludger from a Boggart.

Why James Potter insisted on keeping Colin on the team, I didn’t know – but my best guess was that he didn’t have anything better to choose from.

A while later in the game, Slytherin were making fair progress – leading by fifty points. However if either one of the Seekers caught a glimpse of the elusive Golden Snitch, it was anyone’s game. So far both Regulus and Selene hadn’t shown any signs of seeing the Snitch – and the brutality of the game had taken most people’s minds off the fact that they were still hovering over the pitch expectantly.

Gryffindor Chaser, Aurelianne Somers, had just suffered a hard fall and splintered broom from Rodolphus’ recent Bludger attack, and a time out had been called to assess if she was still fit to play. It was obvious now to the Gryffindors that the Slytherin Beaters were their biggest threat to the game – Sirius and Colin had been in Defence mode the entire time, trying to keep their teammates on their brooms with the Quaffles in their hands – and it was clear that they were trying their best, but still they were no match.

As Madame Mellick was fussing over Aurelianne on the ground the rest of the players were forced to wait around restlessly, as was the noisy crowd.

The clouds were still hanging dark and ominous above the pitch, though we had managed to stay dry so far. The strong wind however was freezing cold and my teeth chattered involuntarily as the wind whipped my dark hair around my face.

I huddled closer to Bellatrix for warmth and just as I did I barely heard her murmur through the loud racket of the crowd.

“What the hell are those two doing?”

I followed her gaze to the pitch – most of the players were flying lowly above the ground as they waited, and there were two players in particular that caught my attention. Evan was flying a little above Sirius, calling something out to him that Sirius clearly didn’t approve of, if the snarl on his face was anything to go by.

I rolled my eyes in disbelief – I couldn’t believe how often those two had been at each other’s throats lately. Obviously I knew that the pair of them had always had a resentment of each other because of their different views on Pureblood heritage – but it seemed like that wasn’t the only thing fuelling their rivalry these days.

Sirius rose to Evans height, barking something back at the sandy-haired boy who instantly looked taken aback. I wished I could hear what they were saying, but over the noise of the crowd I could barely hear Bellatrix shouting at Evan to “Knock the ruddy blood-traitor off his broom!” from beside me.

Lucius was now nearing the two of them, barking an order at Evan, which by the look of his hand gesture I could only guess was a command for him to cut it out. Lucius clearly would not let even a minor scuff with a Gryffindor jeopardize the game.

 

But it was too late – Evan had launched towards Sirius so quickly the force of the impact had thrown them both clean off their brooms and onto the hard dirt of the pitch below them. Immediately I was on my feet, roughly gripping the wooden beam in front of me and thanking Merlin that the both of them had been barely ten feet in the air.

Through the dust scattered in the air from their fall I could see the pair of them locked in a vicious fight – Evan had Sirius pinned roughly to the ground and was all but pummelling his fists into the dark-haired boy.

Sirius had his forearms locked across his face to defend himself against Evans fists, and with a couple of forceful kicks from his Quidditch boots he managed to hurl Evan off him.

I looked around the pitch, anxiously wondering if anyone was going to put a stop to the fight – the crowd was all but screaming in their excitement, eagerly encouraging the two on – but I myself felt nothing but sick to my stomach.

The remaining Quidditch players, in their shock at the scene, had only just started dismounting their brooms. Professor Hester, however, had not spared a single second – he had grabbed his broom and was racing towards were the two boys who were still struggling in the dirt, Evan now attempting to ward off Sirius’ torrent of punches.

Hester, clearly furious, all but jumped off his broom and thrust his wand in Sirius and Evans’ direction which swiftly flung the two apart and propelled them into the dirt. Slowly they got to their feet, dusting off their Quidditch robes as Hester went between the two of them, yelling furiously and pointing towards the benches – and my stomach sank as I realised he was sending them off the pitch.

Evan, in a rage, picked up his broom as he left the pitch and promptly swung it across the nearest support beam for the stands, splitting it clean in half and earning another string of angry words from Hester which I guessed was a detention or two.

There would be no reserves to take the place of the punished Beaters, and after they had each taken their seats on the team benches, and a reserve was allocated to take Aurelianne’s place as Chaser, the players mounted their brooms and the game started up once more.

I sat back in my seat and exhaled sharply as I watched both Sirius and Evan – Sirius was sitting hunched over, dejectedly watching the game that everyone knew the Gryffindors had no chance of winning with him on the bench. Madame Mellick had sent her assistant, Poppy Pomfrey, to check him over for injuries while she herself went to deal with a hostile Evan, who was on his feet shouting at his team and simultaneously terrifying the reserves sitting on the bench beside him.

I watched as Madame Mellick attempted to stem the blood flowing from his nose as he continually tried to brush her off – watching the game with wild-eyes and praying for a victory. I could imagine how it must feel for him not being able to play, especially when his whole future depended on the outcome of the game – he had only been promised a trial for the Falmouth Falcons if Slytherin could take the Quidditch Cup this year, and right now he had no choice but to leave that chance in the hands of his teammates.

Still, as much as I knew how important this game was to him, I couldn’t help but take note of his behaviour – his temper, especially, as he was prone to letting it get out of control – and finding it disbelieving how he could change into this inconsolable tyrant in a mere instant.

A loud roar from the crowd turned my attention back to the game and in that moment I was on my feet once more as I saw both Regulus and Selene diving dangerously towards the ground. A flicker of metal before them was all I needed to know how close one of them was to catching the Golden Snitch.

Rodolphus raced towards the two of them in an instant and I knew that he would be on Selene’s tail, desperately trying to prevent her from winning the game and give Regulus the chance he needed to prove himself as Seeker.

 

Selene and Regulus were neck and neck, racing lowly across the ground – although the game was still very much on, most of the players couldn’t help but keep their eyes glued to the pair. Rodolphus caught up swiftly, flying a little higher than the two with his bat at the ready.

In an instant he swung, sending the Bludger hurtling towards Selene. There was a deafening crack which I immediately assumed was the Bludger smashing into Selene’s broom, but on second glance I saw that it was Colin Young who had come plunging down from a great height at a terrible speed, and not so much deflecting but more being struck in his outstretched arm by the Bludger, covering Selene just in time – though the force had sent him falling from his broom towards the ground, saved only by Professor Flitwicks Levitating charm before he could hit it.

The two Seekers were still chasing the Snitch across the pitch so closely that their fingertips were almost touching the small, golden ball. Roughly, Regulus rammed his broom into Selene’s who fell back for an instant before catching up again – it was clear that she was the more experienced Seeker.

With a lurch of speed, Selene thrust her broom forwards, and to the astonishment to every Slytherin in the stands, her slim fingertips found their way around the Golden Snitch and closed tightly.

The game was over – Slytherin had lost.

***

 

 

I was perched on top an old, broad wooden fence outside the rear entrance to the locker rooms – my feet dangling over the edge casually, not quite reaching the grass beneath them. Bellatrix, in her usual crap best friend manner had complained of the cold and gone back up to the castle, leaving me to shiver alone.

The Quidditch players would use this path to get back up to the castle – and I wanted to find Evan on his way. He would be in a terrible mood, I knew that much, but I felt like I should show my support for him right now – and also find out exactly why him and Sirius were fighting in the first place.

A door opened to my right and I looked over quickly before groaning inwardly – it was the Gryffindor team. They all made a great deal of effort boasting about their win as they strolled past me, James Potter especially, and I scowled at the lot of them – until I saw Sirius Black heading my way and hastily, I turned away from him.

“Alex” He spoke in a commanding voice as he stood in front of me, but still I refused to look at him – no way was I going to drop my act of ignoring him, especially now that his stupid team had won the Quidditch game.

 

“Stop ignoring me, will you” He growled, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me until I was forced to meet his gaze – well, so much for that plan.

“What do you want, Black?” I snapped impatiently – not particularly in the mood for his gloating, which I was sure to be the recipient of.

He narrowed his eyes at me darkly “You lied to me”

“You seem surprised” I replied, letting out a bitter snort of laughter “Though I don’t actually know what you’re referring to”

Sirius scoffed at my answer “Sure you don’t!” he growled, sounding completely outraged though I still had no idea what he was on about.

I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly, motioning for him to go on.

“Rosier seems to think that you are indeed in league with Voldemort – though I recall you telling me you weren’t” he whispered harshly, still glaring at me spitefully.

I faltered “Wait... is that what you and Evan were fighting about on the pitch?” I asked incredulously, ignoring his statement and staring at him in disbelief – had I been right when I thought their fighting was about more than just their mutual hatred of each other?

“What does it matter about that, Alex, just answer me now – are you, or aren’t you with them? Because right now it seems like you’ve been giving everyone false information” he spat and I rolled my eyes lazily, inwardly cursing him for figuring out my lies – and no doubt making Evan quite aware of them in the process.

“Well, for your information, I actually hadn’t committed to anything last time you asked me” I answered dryly, wondering why the hell Sirius cared so much about my allegiances anyway.

Sirius scoffed loudly “But you have now?”

“In a way, I guess” I replied vaguely, growing impatient at his irritating questioning.

Sirius exhaled sharply, resting one hand on the fence and leaning incredibly close to me. He smelt of soap and his raven hair was still wet from his shower, clinging to the skin on his neck. Impatiently, he brushed his damp hair back off his face and I watched as the small droplets of water fell off the ends and onto my jeans as he leaned towards me.

“What the hell do you mean by “In a way”?” he spoke softly, though his voice was clearly laced with annoyance.

I swallowed nervously, taken aback yet again at his closeness before I spoke slowly “What I mean is that... I agreed to meet with the Death Eaters. That’s all” I added with a small shrug of my shoulders.

At once Sirius turned from me, letting out a short, disbelieving bark of laughter and raking his hands through his hair as if he would tear it clean out. I stared at him for a moment, raising a questioning eyebrow before he turned back to me.

“That’s all?” He mocked my previous statement cynically – his eyes wild with fury “You really think that meeting with Death Eaters is no big deal? That they’ll give you tea and cookies and you’ll all have a fan-fucking-tastic time discussing the downfall of the Muggle race!”

“That’s not at all what I’m expecting, you moron!” I spat back, equally as furious “You think I want the Muggles to be wiped out? Even if they are a sad, sorry bunch of scum – that’s not what I want!”

Sirius didn’t reply – instead he continued to stare at me through those stormy, inscrutable eyes of his.

“I promised my friends I’d go” I continued, a little less harshly “I don’t see what the big deal is – If I don’t want to go back again then I won’t!”

Sirius advanced on me again, grabbing my shoulders a little rougher then he had before and staring down at me in frustration.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” He spoke harshly once more “It’s not just a meeting, it’s an induction! You don’t have a choice – you’ll have to go back”

“But, if I don’t want-“

“They don’t care what you want, Alex, they’re Death Eaters!” Sirius interrupted me at once “They don’t care about anything but destruction”

“What else am I supposed to do? Let my friends go and be left all by myself?” I asked exasperatedly, trying to make Sirius understand that I didn’t have a choice anyway “I’d be a blood traitor! I’d be... like you”

Sirius inhaled sharply, loosening his grip on my shoulders “Caring about the lives of Muggles doesn’t make you a blood traitor – it makes you a human-being!” Sirius replied at once, and I could sense the upset in his tone.

Slowly, he placed his hands on either side of me and leaned forwards – I shivered as his warm breath tickled the side of my face.

“You wouldn’t be alone, Alex. I promise you that much” Sirius added quietly – and by the way he was staring at me I knew that he meant it.

“W-Why do you even care?” I asked, slightly dazed at his closeness and the warmth I could feel from him.

“Because I know you’re not like them” He answered, and then added with a small smirk “You’re a cold-hearted bitch at the best of times – but you’ve already proven you’re nothing like them. You don’t want the Muggles to die, or anyone for that matter. Right?”

My eyes flitted downwards and for a moment I was quite unable to meet his gaze. He was acting different – all of a sudden he was being supportive, and quite unlike the Sirius Black I had always known.

The creak of a door nearby almost scared me right out of my skin – Sirius pulled away from me abruptly as the Slytherin team came bustling out of their locker room, all looking rather down in the dumps.

“I guess you’ve got some explaining to do to your boyfriend” Sirius spoke bitterly, indicating with a small nod in Evans direction “Make the right choice” He added lowly, turning his back on me and continuing up the path towards the castle.

For the first time I noticed James waiting for his friend a little further in the distance, and vaguely wondered what he made of this exchange, if he had seen it at all.

Feeling a little awkward, I stood and made my way to Evan – forcing a small smile on my face. Evan, however, was clearly not pleased to see me.

“What the hell were you doing with him?” He barked at me at once, earning a collection of curious stares from the rest of the team as they passed by.

“Excuse me?” I answered disbelievingly, seriously taken back by his harshness.

Evan took hold of my arm roughly, dragging my away from anyone who might be in ear-shot before he continued sternly “Sirius Black! Why were you talking to him?”

I was at a complete loss for words in the moment “I- I, well... He was-“

“Well? Spit it out, Alex!” He barked at me once more, making me feel awfully like a child being scolded by a parent. I looked past him to Rodolphus who was lingering not too far away – he merely shrugged his shoulders unhelpfully.

“I know you’re mad about losing the game, Evan, but don’t take it out on me!” I replied bitterly, hoping at least to change the subject for a moment.

Swiftly, Evan pulled me so I crashed against him roughly – his hands expertly found their way around my waist and he lowered his face to mine so that I could feel his warm, ragged breath on me.

“I’m not mad, Alex – I’m murderous” He whispered harshly against my lips “Black cost me my place on the Falcons – I’ll kill him for that”

I turned my face away from Evans, but still he refused to loosen his hold on me. He was acting like a complete psychopath – and it was terrifying me. I also thought that now was probably not the right time to bring up that Evan, in fact, had started the whole fight.

“Slytherin can still win the cup” I said encouragingly, thinking it was safer sticking to the topic of Quidditch rather than Sirius Black.

Evan let out a cynical laugh and shook his head in disagreement “You really think Gryffindor will lose to both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw? Ravenclaw, maybe – but Hufflepuff? No chance in hell. Their team is about as useful as a bunch of Bowtruckles. My chance is over”

I faltered for a moment – I really didn’t know what to say. Evan had been working towards playing on the Falcons for years, and now he was just giving up.

“Now how about telling me that you weren’t being a slut with Sirius Black and were merely cursing him into oblivion instead – though I never saw your wand drawn” Evan whispered dangerously in my ear before pushing me away from him forcefully.

I stumbled a little but quickly regained balance and glared at him spitefully, hardly believing his behaviour.

“He was asking me if I was involved with the Dark Lord” I spat out “Not that it’s any of your business”

“Oh, it’s my business alright” Evans sandy eyebrows knitted together in a dark frown “I wonder why he would want to know a thing like that?”

“I don’t know, Evan!” I replied, nothing but furious that he was treating me this way “How am I supposed to know what goes on in that blood traitors head!”

“Well I thought you, of all people might know, since he’s been spending an awful lot of time lately trying to get your attention” Evan spat bitterly, folding his arms across his broad chest “And rumour has it you’ve been telling him you have nothing to do with the Dark Lord – now why would you say something like that?”

I inhaled sharply – so that was what the two of them were fighting about on the pitch.

“I had to tell him that – he was asking so many questions” I answered, hoping it was a sufficient enough answer to get Evan off my case “Would you rather I told him everything!”

“I’d rather you didn’t speak to him at all!” Evan growled furiously in reply – his usual soft, blue eyes blinded with rage.

My hands had balled themselves into small fists at my sides – Evan had never spoken to me like this before – why would he start now?

“It’s not like I want to speak to him” I spat through gritted teeth, earning a cynical laugh from Evan in reply.

“You know what, Alex? For once – I’m not going to believe your lies”

Swiftly, he turned and stormed up the path towards the castle with Rodolphus trailing behind him – leaving me to stare after him in shock and try to figure out what the hell had happened to us.


	20. Fear

Evan and I had been on edge around each other ever since the day of our argument after the Quidditch match. Rodolphus assured me that it was just Evan being an overprotective jerk, and that he’d snap out of it soon – but I wasn’t convinced.

Evan had his eyes on me at all times – watching me like a hawk – and I knew that he was doubting my loyalty to both him, and the Dark Lord.

Regulus had fallen into a deeply sombre mood after his failure to catch the Golden snitch during the last Quidditch game. The team had come down awfully hard on him, Evan especially, though he knew it wasn’t Regulus’ fault – I think he just needed someone to blame, and at the moment, it was anyone but himself.

Lucius had declared that Regulus would stay on as Seeker for the team – so that he could play in the next game, where he was expected to win. I tried my best to constantly remind Regulus that it had been his first game with minimal training, and that he had done exceptionally well to get as close to the Snitch as he had – If he trained hard for the next game, he was sure to get it.

Unfortunately, the words of his teammates meant a lot more to him then mine did.

***

On the morning of our trip to the village of Hogsmeade, I was nothing less than a nervous wreck, dreading our upcoming meeting with the Death Eaters.

I had thought a lot about what Sirius had said to me earlier in the week, how if I chose not to join the Death Eaters, I wouldn’t be left alone – and once or twice I had seriously considered not doing it. But the more I thought about not going, the more I realised that I had to.

Most of all, I think I didn’t want to be labelled a blood-traitor. I had spent so many years hating anyone who didn’t believe in Pureblood dominance – I could never imagine what it would feel like to be one of them. But still, I couldn’t understand why my friends were so excited about this meeting – and why I wasn’t.

“Come on, Alex! We can’t be late” Bellatrix all but dragged me down the stone stairs to the common room as I was still pulling my white, denim jacket over my shoulders. I hitched my black boots up over my jeans as I stumbled to the foot of the stairs, and threw a white scarf around my neck to ward off the cold before I looked around the gloomy, dungeon room.

The room was empty, save for Evan, Rodolphus, Lucius and Severus, waiting on the couches for us impatiently – all springing to their feet at the sight of Bella and I. I noticed too that Regulus and Rabastan were hanging around uncertainly – all the other students must have headed off already.

“Hey, you guys aren’t going into Hogsmeade with Cissy?” I asked the pair of young boys, who shrugged their shoulders in response.

“She’s gone with a couple of the girls from her dorm” Rabastan answered rather quietly, which I found an awfully strange contrast from his usual out-going personality.

Lucius gave a brisk wave of his hand, which was clad in a pair of grey gloves “Let’s go – we shouldn’t keep them waiting”

I shot Severus a questioning look as we all trampled out of the common room into the dungeon corridors – I didn’t understand why Lucius would let Rabastan and Regulus tag along with us when we were on our way to such an important, and not to mention dangerous meeting.

Severus came to walk next to me, letting me link my arm through his own. He wore a long, woollen jacket that seemed like it once might have been black – but now was so old that it had a kind of green tinge to it and was littered with small tears and rips along the seams.

Not one of us had spoken a word since we left the common room, and I could feel Severus slowing his pace down a little until we ended up lingering right at the back of the group.

He leant his head closer to mine before speaking quietly “They’re coming with us”

I stared at his unguarded, black eyes – and at once I could tell that something was troubling him.

“You mean just to Hogsmeade, right?” I questioned, to which Severus shook his head slowly in reply.

“No,” He answered, sneaking a glance at Lucius before he continued “They’re coming with us... to meet the Death Eaters”

At once, I took my arm back from Severus and stood frozen in my tracks. At first I thought it must be some kind of joke – that everyone would start howling with laughter and calling out “You should see your face!”

But Severus was never one to make jokes – especially not about a matter as serious as this. And by the way he was staring at me, deadly serious; I knew that he was telling the truth.

“They what?” I all but screamed, causing every one of them to stop and turn to see what all the fuss was about. These were sixteen year old boys we were talking about – not even of age by the terms of the Wizarding World – and here we were, leading them into a life of violence? My heart was beating so furiously I felt as if it would explode – there was no way in hell that I was going to allow it.

“Alex – what the bloody hell is going on?” Bellatrix stepped forward first, looking me up and down as if I were a madwoman.

“They’re coming with us!” I shrieked, pointing a finger in Regulus and Rabastans direction, who both shrunk back considerably.

Bella surveyed me sceptically through her dark eyes “Yeah? What’s the problem?” She asked, clearly not seeing any problem at all with the fact that these two boys – who were as good as our own brothers – were being allowed to tag along on our trip to meet these notorious murderers and criminals. All of a sudden I felt incredibly sick to my stomach – my hands were shaking uncontrollably at my sides.

I turned on Rodolphus, pointing a single, slim finger in his face accusingly “I can’t believe you would actually let your little brother get mixed up in all of this! Are you an idiot?”

Rodolphus shrugged his shoulders dismissively, ignoring my insult “He’s big and ugly enough to make his own decisions – it’s their choice, Ally”

“This is what we want” Rabastan piped up, before I had the chance to throttle his moronic, older brother for not even making a move to protect him "This is our choice"

I scoffed loudly in reply “Your choice? It’s not your choice, Rab – you’re only doing this because your parents, and your brother expect you to” I spat, causing Rabastan to shy away without a reply.

“At least your brother cares enough about you to make an attempt to guard you from this all” I added to Regulus, who looked nothing but confused by my comment.

Evan let out a bitter laugh, slowly walking towards me “I don’t think it’s his brother that Black seems to care for all of a sudden” He spat and I growled lowly in reply.

“And what is that supposed to mean, Evan?”

“That’s enough!” Lucius interrupted abruptly, glaring at me through ice cold eyes “We don’t have time to waste on your petty concerns – get a move on”

Grudgingly, Evan turned on his heel and followed behind Lucius. Bellatrix came to walk with me, with Severus still on my other side.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bella demanded, whispering harshly.

I exhaled sharply – furious at every one of them for allowing this to happen.

“They’re just kids, Bella – what the hell are you doing letting them be a part of this?” I glared at her furiously, demanding an answer.

“Like Rod said, it’s their decision – they wanted to do this”

I shook my head disbelievingly – feeling the heat of oncoming tears prickling at my eyes. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

“And what about Cissy, huh? If Reg and Rabastan decided to join in on this, why not her?”

Bella laughed bitterly “Cissy? She’s too stupid to be a Death Eater – she’d never be any use”

I scoffed in disagreement – Narcissa probably didn’t have it in her to become a Death Eater, but she most certainly wasn’t stupid.

All of a sudden, I felt incredibly aware of how much more protective I was of our younger friends then their own damned siblings were – was I the only one who felt even remotely responsible for keeping them safe?

The rest of the walk to Hogsmeade was spent mostly in silence – with only a few words exchanged here and there between Bellatrix, Severus and I. The wind was deathly cold, and howling furiously in my ears, which gave the excuse of not being able to hear them say anything to me over the noise.

I was still fuming as we entered the small village, which was crowded with Hogwarts students and the odd local here and there.

Lucius huddled us into a group and instructed us to break apart into pairs, so that we wouldn’t all look suspicious tramping down the shady alley to the Hog’s Head Tavern in the large group we were in. Lucius was to go first with Severus. Next Rodolphus would take Rabastan, then Evan and Regulus and lastly, Bella and I would go.

We had a few minutes to spare until we were supposed to go to the Hog’s Head – and the both of us were too on edge to do anything productive – so we settled instead for walking up and down the High Street of Hogsmeade, pushing our way through the sea of students. I was grateful for the noise of the crowds, at least, which meant I wouldn’t have to listen to my best friend say anything that could result in me snapping at her.

We reached the end of the street in an awkward silence for the second time, standing outside Dervish and Banges. Bella muttered that she might as well buy a new quill while she was here, and bustled off to Scrivenshaft’s across the street.

I was glad to be rid of her, to be perfectly honest, though I slowly made my way to stand outside the shop to wait for her. I could clearly see the alley where the Hog’s Head was located across the street and noted a large man in a dirty, black trench coat standing outside the front door, his arms folded across his chest gruffly. Vaguely, I wondered if he was one of the Death Eaters we would meet.

“Fancy seeing you here”

My hand jumped to my heart to keep it from leaping straight out of my chest as I got the fright of my life. James Potter had strolled up beside me, his hands perched on his hips in a rather feminine fashion, and looking very strangely alone.

“Potter, what the hell” I panted, regaining my composure – I had been so lost in my own mind that I hadn’t expected anyone to saunter up and start speaking to me.

James raised his eyebrows at me incredulously, and I narrowed mine in response.

“What do you want?”

“Just to ask you, kindly, to quit fucking torturing my best friend” James spat, folding his arms across his chest.

I shook my head in disbelief “I have no idea what you’re talking about”

James leaned forward, speaking gruffly “Look, Cortez, clearly Sirius has some kind of ridiculous interest in you that has sprung from god knows where – but he’s been acting like a complete lunatic, and I’m pretty sure that it’s your fault”

“Ever thought that it might be one of the other girls he stalks?”

“No because these days it’s only been you” James replied bitterly “All I’m saying is that if you’re into all this Voldemort crap, then stay away from Sirius and kindly go and jump off a cliff – or if you’re not, just let the guy know and put him out of his misery”

I narrowed my eyes at the dark-haired boy “I missed the part where I let you tell me what to do” I replied icily, earning a glare to rival my own in return “Did you come all the way down here just to make an idiot of yourself?”

James cleared his throat loudly before replying “Actually, I was heading somewhere” He indicated around the corner from where we were standing.

I raised an eyebrow “The only thing around there is Madam Puddifoot’s”

“Yes, well... I like tea” James answered, his cheeks turning a considerably brighter shade of pink.

I heard a door slam closed behind me “What the fuck do you want, Potter? Get lost” Bellatrix screeched as she walked out into the street – her hands clearly devoid of any new quills.

“Screw you, Black – I’m late anyway” James spat before storming off down the street.

I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at his retreating back “Late for tea”

Bella snorted with laughter “What was that about?”

“Don’t even ask” I answered, rolling my eyes lazily.

Bellatrix shrugged her shoulders dismissively “Let’s go to the Hog’s Head – I’m sick of waiting and there’s barely anyone around here anyway”

Bella and I linked arms, and tentatively crossed the street to stand near the entrance to the alley. After a minute of pretending we were doing nothing but hanging around gossiping, we swiftly slid down the small, side street.

The entrance of the Hog’s Head was a battered, old door peeking out from behind the ends of two long, brick walls which covered the entire circumference of the shabby building. An equally battered sign hung low above the door – depicting a rather grotesque looking picture of a wild boar's severed head leaking blood onto the white cloth around it.

The man I had previously seen standing outside the door looked the pair of us up and down gruffly with the one eye he seemingly had any use with – the other had a thick scar running down the length of it, from the top of his forehead to the bottom of his ear.

“We’re here with Lucius Malfoy” Bella spoke up, her voice calm and confident. I wondered if I was the only one who could sense the hint of nervousness laced beneath her words.

The man gave a sharp nod of his head, letting us pass him without a word. We stumbled over the threshold into the dingy pub – our eyes gradually adjusting to the lack of light. A putrid smell assaulted my nostrils immediately, reminding me very much of barnyard animals. A small bleating noise proved why when a large goat appeared from behind one of the many dusty, wooden tables, and then promptly disappeared behind the bar – where the old, grisly looking barkeeper was standing, wiping down glasses with a disgustingly dirty looking rag and scowling at the pair of us.

I made a mental note not to touch anything while I was there.

The inn seemed to be empty – save for Lucius seated at the nearest grimy table, waiting for our arrival. He stood wordlessly as we approached, motioning with his hand for us to follow him.

My heart was pounding nervously as I followed behind Lucius and Bella up the narrow wooden staircase – which creaked dangerously with every step I took.

Somehow I couldn’t help thinking that I was making the biggest mistake of my life – but as we walked through the open sitting room at the top of the stairs, and Lucius deposited us in through a door to a small, grimy bedroom, where stood every one of my friends – looking just as anxious and pale-faced as I was – I remembered why I was there.

The room was tiny – a rather sorry looking bedroom, clearly used for any guests looking for accommodation. There was a small bed in one corner, currently being used as a seat for fellow Slytherin students Lance Avery, Declan Vaisey and still a rather sickly looking Erastus Wilkes.

I hurried over to push myself into the small space between Evan and Severus – who stood beside the only grime covered window in the room – and though I was still furious at him, I couldn’t help but feel comforted as Evan rested a hand on my shoulder, protectively drawing me closer to him.

Moments later, Lucius returned to the room following behind three men – the first a bald, dark-skinned man, taller than his other companions, who surveyed the lot of us sceptically through dark, narrowed eyes.

The second man was not quite as tall as the first, but he was broader, with matted, sandy blonde hair streaked with grey and wild, yellow eyes – I couldn’t help but shudder involuntarily at the sight of him.

The third to enter was the short man who had previously been guarding the entrance to the Hog’s Head, and I noticed as he walked that he had a prominent limp on his left side.

Everyone stood as the men entered the room, forming a kind of half circle as big as the room would allow.

The bald man was the first to step forward and speak “Now that you’ve all found the time to grace us with your presence – we may begin” he began cynically, his voice low and commanding.

“My name is Amelio Travers – these are my associates Thorfinn Rowle, and Fenrir Greyback” Travers gestured first to the short man, then the yellow-eyed one “I am here to speak to you on behalf of the Dark Lord – who, as you can imagine, has much more important matters to tend to then a bunch of snivelling, school children”

Not one of us spoke a word as Travers paced back and forth before us – individually looking us up and down as if to assess our capabilities. I myself could hardly tear my eyes away from hulking man that was Fenrir Greyback as he sneered at the lot of us. There was clearly something about him that intrigued, and yet terrified me.

“As you must know by now – the Dark Lord is conjuring an army powerful enough to dominate the Wizarding World” Travers continued his speech “Stay loyal to him, do as you’re told – and perhaps soon you will have the honour of joining his elite few – the Death Eaters. The first test of your dedication – bow to me”

Gradually, every inhabitant of the room – save myself and the three men standing at the front of the room – bowed their heads as they dropped to one knee. Disbelievingly, I stared at the lot of them as they kneeled on the grimy floor and realised that this was to be not so much a share of power but a struggle for it – and right now, us new introductions were on the bottom most rung of the ladder.

“What’s the matter, princess? Do those delicious little legs of yours not work?” The man, Greyback, spoke for the first time as he advanced on me – his voice a low, raspy bark. His animal-like eyes flickered up and down my body hungrily – making me feel incredibly unnerved.

“I’m not a servant” I spat icily – thoroughly terrified of the man, yet quite unwilling to back down “I bow to no-one”

Before I knew it Greyback had lunged at me – his large, grimy hand flying out and gripping my throat so hard I could barely breathe. Swiftly, he leant his face closer to my own and I gagged at the foul stench of his breath.

“You’re a servant of the Dark Lord now – you’d do well to remember it” Greyback bared his fang-like teeth in a sadistic smile and I could feel the pressure of his sharp nails as they dug tighter into my throat, piercing through the soft skin.

I very much wanted to run – and to get as far from this monster of a man and his piercing, yellow eyes as I could. I kept my eyes fixed on his own, firmly locked in a silent battle of wills, though my head had begun to spin ever so slightly from lack of oxygen.

It felt like a lifetime before Travers spoke up, his voice a low warning “Take your filthy hands off the girl, Greyback” he boomed and reluctantly, Greyback loosened his hold on me – clearly outranked by the taller man.

I let my hands fly to my throat as I gasped to catch my breath, running them over the small, painful wounds on either side. Greyback sneered as he retreated to the far side of the room – which was hardly far enough away for my liking.

“What is your name, young friend?” Travers spoke as he approached me, assessing me with his dark eyes.

“Alexandra Cortez” I spoke in response, and Travers lifted a single dark finger to his lips in deliberation.

“Cortez? Ah, yes – your father is the Healer, correct?” He spoke after a moment and I nodded my head in response.

And then he smiled – a wide, unsettling smile “Well, then – I guess we should have expected as much from a girl who was raised by a pair of blood traitors”

I narrowed my eyes at the man as he paced towards me, his wand drawn – my friends still remained on bended knee with their heads bowed, none of them daring to defy these men as I had so boldly done.

“Allow me to demonstrate to you all how we discipline anyone who refuses the orders of our master” Travers hissed menacingly, and an overwhelming sense of dread overcame me as he raised his wand and shouted “Imperio!”

At that moment, a strange and horrifying sensation ran through me as all control drained from my body and no matter how hard I tried, how much I fought and struggled – I couldn’t move a single muscle in my body, let alone open my mouth to protest.

I began to panic as I realised how helpless I was – a mere puppet for this deranged Death Eater to control as he pleased. Slowly, Travers lowered his wand, and as he did my body followed with the motion, dropping lower and lower until I was on both knees, my arms hanging at my side uselessly.

Next, with a small flick he used his wand to bend my body forward into a low bow – my arms stretched in front of me and my face barely an inch above the grimy floor below me.

I could hear the sound of his heavy boots as he stood before me and laughed – a sick, menacing sound filled with all the delight of someone who clearly took pleasure in the use of the Unforgivable Curses.

“Let this be a lesson to you all – and know now that the Dark Lord is not so forgiving to those who defy his power” Travers addressed the room with a warning “Now rise – all of you”

Relief flooded through me alongside the control that had returned to my body now that the curse had been lifted, and cautiously I rose to my feet – not daring to meet the gaze of any of my friends after this infuriating scene.

“Shall we continue?” Travers directed the question at me and I gave a small nod of my head, still glaring daggers at him through my narrowed eyes. I hated him for what he had done, and I was angry at myself for being so unable to defend myself against him – and I knew in that moment, unwaveringly, that I had made the wrong choice when I decided to come here.

Travers inclined his head to me before continuing “Then let us put this behind us, for now, and return to the real reason that we are here. Usually, we would start this induction with a test of your commitment, by means of the Cruciatus Curse – but, seeing as how a few of you are still clearly under the protection of the Statue of Secrecy, and we don’t want you getting yourselves expelled from school just yet – for now, it will not be necessary”

I was hardly aware of what Travers was saying – the one thought on my mind now, was how the hell to get myself out of the mess I had so stupidly gotten myself into. The whole purpose of my coming here was so I could protect my friends, but after Travers humiliating little scene, it was quite clear to me how powerless any of us were to protect each other against these wizards who were evidently much more skilled then I had known.

“What we do require, however, is a vow from each of you of your unwavering loyalty” Travers procured a scroll of parchment from the inside of the his dark robes, which he rolled out onto a small, wooden table had just conjured in the middle of the room

“You will sign this now, as a declaration of your service to the Dark Lord – and be warned that with this contract comes a most fearful sort of magic. If any one of you betrays us, or lets your loyalty waver for even a second, then you will suffer a curse, one that brings the bearer great pain and suffering. And no matter where you run – we will find you”

My stomach dropped at his words as I realised that my decision had already been made – after coming here, and meeting the Death Eaters – the so-called fighters for Purebloods rights – I found them nothing but lowly bullies, and I adamantly refused to be a part of something that I had no passion for, and no power to control.

I knew for certain that I couldn’t sign that contract – but I could see no way to avoid it without getting myself killed. I didn’t want to abandon my friends, but I knew that if they truly did care about me – they would understand my reasons for not wanting this.

I snuck at glance at the one-eyed Death Eater, Rowle, who had not moved from his position of guarding the door. So far we had not seen any proof of his magical abilities – but from experiencing Travers alone, I was hesitant to try to make any kind of escape.

“After you have all signed I will discuss with you your expected duties while you are still at Hogwarts. Now, who will be first?” Travers questioned the lot of us – yet it was Greyback who spoke up first.

“Why not let our little princess sign first?” He rasped, stepping out of the shadows of the room and eyeing me with a look of what could only be described as hunger. I got the feeling that there was more to Greyback that met the eye. I had seen no indication of a wand, so far, and it seemed his preferred method of intimidation was his own brute strength.

I forced myself to keep my mouth shut, yet inwardly cursed Greyback for drawing attention to me once again. If there really was some kind of curse on the contract I was sure that I would be hit with it as soon as I signed, having betrayed them already.

Travers surveyed me briefly before answering “No – I think Lucius shall have the honour of signing first since he so loyally brought these young soldiers to us” He nodded to Lucius who stepped forwards “Cortez will be next”

Greyback grinned at me viciously – grabbing my arm and roughly dragging me to where Lucius stood in front of the small table. Immediately, I started to panic, thinking that my options had run out. If I signed the contract I would risk being cursed – but I had absolutely no way of escaping the small room, especially not with Rowle guarding one exit, and the only other, being the small window which I would never get open in time.

Travers pulled a small dagger from his robe, motioning for Lucius to extend his hand. With the very tip of the blade he made a small cut on the end of Lucius’ finger, which he then pressed against the parchment. Lucius removed his hand, leaving only a small dot of scarlet blood. As I watched the blood began to curl and change into a perfectly scripted letters, forming the name “Lucius Malfoy” I had an idea of how I might escape – I knew it was a long-shot, but I had to try.

I turned to Greyback, whose dirty nails were still embedding themselves tightly in my arm, and spoke loud enough to be sure that Travers would hear me .

“I need to use the bathroom”

Greyback scowled at me before barking “You can wait, stupid girl”

I held my free hand to my mouth, as if I would be sick and choked out “The blood...”

Greyback rolled his yellow eyes at my feeble complaint, clearly thinking that I wouldn’t make much of a Death Eater if I couldn’t stand the sight of a little blood.

I made a dramatic, retching motion again in a desperate attempt to drive my point in. I didn’t dare look anywhere else in the room, especially not at Lucius beside me who had known me long enough to know that I didn’t have the faintest problem with blood – I supposed all of them were awfully confused at my behaviour.

“There’s a window over there! Or would you like us to summon you a golden chalice, Your Majesty?” Greyback growled and I could sense his annoyance at my performance.

“Take the girl down to the bathroom, you dirty animal, I don’t want her to make a mess in here” Travers ordered Greyback who growled lowly in protest “Just keep your eyes on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid”

I felt a small leap of joy as I hurried to the door, still with my hand covering my mouth and pretending to look horribly sick, and Rowle stepped aside to let Greyback and me out. As I made my way through the sitting room, moving as fast as I dared, I knew I had to act quickly if I had any chance of making it out of there.

I could hear Greyback complaining loudly from behind me – walking so close that I could feel his horrid breath on the back of my neck. I knew that I had to put some distance in between us, so as soon as I hit the bottom stair on the old staircase I all but ran around the bar to the bathroom, shouting loudly “I’m gonna be sick!”

Almost at the same time a yell came from the top of the stairs which I clearly identified as Travers shouting “Get that girl back here!” and I guessed that by now Lucius or one of the others would have spoken up about my lack of fear for blood.

I dashed into the bathroom, ignoring Greybacks growls to go back. I slammed the heavy door in his face and, thanking Merlin that there was a bolt on the back of it, locked it before he could realise what was going on. Now that I was in here I had to act fast – I knew I had only seconds until the door was blasted open.

Greybacks heavy fists were pounding on the door almost as loud as my heart was pounding in my ears, and I looked frantically around the room for a means to escape. It was a tiny, dim bathroom, with only two disgusting, stalls and a grime-covered sink on one wall. A small window was located above the middle of the two stalls, letting in little light. I knew at once that it was much too small for me to fit through.

There was only one other option for me to consider, and it was one that terrified me completely – I had to Apparate.

I hadn’t had much experience with apparating – I had passed my test well enough, and Bella and I had practised a couple of times over the summer – but none of those times had been under so much pressure as I was under now, and I was deadly afraid that if I got it wrong, I would be splinched.

I could hear more shouts outside the door, now from more people than just Greyback, and as soon as the banging on the wood ceased I knew a spell would break through the door at any second – I was out of time to deliberate.

I took my wand from inside my jacket, closed my eyes tightly and firmly grabbed hold of the first location that came to mind – feeling the overwhelming sensation of being tugged in every direction just as I heard the door explode.


	21. Unity

The noise of chattering students reached my ears as I found myself on the High Street of Hogsmeade – standing in the same place outside Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop where I had run into James Potter earlier.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I swiftly checked over my body for any sign that I had been splinched, and found that I was perfectly fine. Well, in that sense anyway.

Just as I glimpsed across the road down the alley to where the Hog’s Head was located, the front door burst open and Fenrir Greyback dived out onto the small, dusty street. I stood there horrified, quite unable to move as his yellow gaze met mine hungrily and he barked something back into the building.

I didn’t wait around for long – as soon as I knew that he had seen me, I ran as fast as my legs would take me, down the street and into a large group of students who were standing outside an immensely crowded shop. They shouted in protest as I barged through them and in through the door to the shop, but I ignored them – thinking of nothing but finding a place to hide so I could figure out what the hell I was going to do next, and how I could possibly get back to Hogwarts without being caught by Greyback or any other Death Eater.

As I rushed past the crowded aisles of the shop I quickly realised that I had stumbled into Zonko’s Joke Shop. The noise in the place alone was overwhelming – the air filled with whizzes, whirs and bangs as the Hogwarts students tested the various products. Obviously, I wasn’t there to shop, so I pushed my way through the students and slipped down one of the aisles at the back of the shop, leaning against a wooden shelf for support as I caught my breath.

The aisles themselves were lined with high, wooden shelves that reach up to the roof – the particular one I was standing in had shelves littered with discounted and faulty goods. I thought that I would be well concealed where I was – most students were too busy sorting through Zonko’s newest product-line – though I knew I was still far from being safe. Any one of those Death Eaters could step in here at any time – and I had no doubt that if I was caught, I would have to endure something a lot worse than the Imperio curse.

I looked around the shop, thinking up my next move. There was a small door set into the back wall just down the end of the aisle which I thought must lead to the storeroom. I thought for a moment that perhaps I could slip out the back of the shop and sprint my butt off back up the road to Hogwarts – but I knew it was likely that someone would be keeping a lookout for me on the road.

I buried my face in my hands, feeling utterly defeated – there was no way that I was going to make it out of here. The next thought that struck me was less then pleasing – perhaps I could hand myself back to Travers and beg for him to forgive me – to lie and say that I had panicked for the briefest of moments, and that to serve the Dark Lord was the only thing that mattered to me. I didn’t see what other choice I had.

“Cortez – are you alright?”

I quite literally jumped at least ten feet in the air in fright – my heart beating in my chest furiously. For a moment I thought I had been caught – but, to my intense relief, I found it was only Remus Lupin standing at the entrance to the aisle, his forehead creased in concern. On second glance I saw the lump of a boy, Peter Pettigrew, half-concealed and peeking out from behind his friend.

“Sorry – I didn’t mean to scare you. You just ran right past me before and I thought... what happened to you?” Remus asked anxiously, and I couldn’t help but stand there dumbstruck – still not quite over my scare.

“I- Nothing. Nothing’s happened” I spluttered in reply, very much wishing that he would go away so I could wallow in my misery alone.

Remus simply raised his fair eyebrows in response, clearly not believing my lie “What happened to your clothes then?”

He indicated to my white scarf, which was covered in grime from where Travers had cursed me to bow on the floor, and my jacket which bore a great, dirty hand-print on the left sleeve from Greybacks filthy hands. Needless to say, I wasn’t too worried about the state of my clothes at that particular moment.

Remus took a tentative step forward, fixing his sapphire eyes on me firmly “Look, I know that we don’t know each other very well – and, I mean, we aren’t exactly friends – but... if you’re in some kind of trouble...”

I shook my head stubbornly in response “I can handle it” I lied, not particularly wanting to get anyone one else involved in my mess. Without thinking, I unravelled my dirty scarf from around my neck, and saw that there were small splotches of blood where it had rubbed against the wounds on my neck. I heard Remus gasp quietly at the sight of my bare neck.

“How did you get those marks?”

My fingers flew to my neck instinctively as he spoke and I whispered quietly, mostly to myself “Greyback...”

Remus’ face paled considerably at that single word “What did you say?”

I gazed up at the sandy-haired boy as he stepped closer towards me – towering above me as he was considerably taller then I was.

“Greyback? Fenrir Greyback?” He asked quietly and I nodded my head softly, preparing to ask him how the hell he had known who Greyback was before he turned on Peter swiftly.

“We need to find Padfoot now” Remus spoke quickly to his short, plump friend, who eyed me nervously before speaking.

“He’ll still be at the Broomsticks”

Remus nodded in agreement “I need you to get him and bring him here. Go quickly, Wormtail”

Peter bustled off back towards the entrance to the shop before I rounded on Remus.

“What are you doing?” I asked incredulously, knowing all too well from my many encounters with the Marauders that “Padfoot” was code for Sirius Black – though I had no idea what on earth it was supposed to mean.

“Sirius needs to know about this,” Remus answered simply, folding his arms across his chest as he continued to eye the small marks on my neck.

I scoffed in disbelief “I don’t see why!”

At once, I wanted to get out of there – I didn’t think I could handle Sirius and his condescending stare, especially when he had been so infuriatingly right. He had been the one telling me all along that I was an idiot to meet with the Death Eaters – and I had only realised too late how right he had been.

Remus and I waited a few minutes in an awkward silence. I had just begun to contemplate the idea of bolting out through the back door so I wouldn’t have to face Sirius, before Remus spoke up suddenly.

“You do know what Greyback is, don’t you?” He asked and I stared at him sceptically, wondering what the hell he was talking about. What did he mean what Greyback is?

“... don’t know why you can’t quit babbling and learn to explain things properly, Wormtail!” I was distracted from Remus by Sirius’ boisterous voice before he turned the corner a moment later.

“Moony, what the... Alex – your neck!” Sirius was at my side at once – placing one of his warm hands on the back of my neck while he used the other to tilt my chin up and inspect my wounds with his stormy, grey eyes. My eyes flitted closed briefly at his touch.

Sirius’ dark eyebrows knitted together in a frown “Tell me these aren’t what I think they are” he spoke quietly while turning slightly to Remus, letting his hand slip down to rest on the back of my shoulders.

Remus nodded his head and Sirius let out a low growl of outrage “Who?”

“Greyback,”

“Greyback! What the fuck is he doing in Hogsmeade?” Sirius turned to me, his eyes laced with a mix of worry and anger before a sudden realisation dawned on him “Oh, Alex, you didn’t...” He breathed in disbelief and for a moment I found myself quite unable to meet his unnerving gaze.

“I-I had to go” I spoke quietly – my eyes firmly fixed on the dusty floor.

Sirius shook his head in clear disagreement “What were you thinking? I told you it was a bad idea and now look what’s happened!”

“I got away from him didn’t I? I’m fine!”

“You’re lucky to even be alive – with him around...”

I raised my eyebrows at him incredulously “What the fuck do you lot know about Greyback that I don’t”

Sirius shot the briefest glimpse at Remus before replying “Fenrir Greyback is a werewolf”

At once, I faltered, taking in a sharp breath. Fenrir Grey was a Werewolf – well, that certainly would explain those unnerving, animalistic eyes of his. I was beginning to feel awfully sick at the thought of how close I had been to an actual Werewolf.

“And probably the most savage one there ever was, at that” Remus added, carefully judging my response to the new information “Those wounds on your neck... if they’re from Greyback, they’re cursed – they’ll never fully heal”

I traced my fingers over the small holes on each side of my neck “I’ll be stuck with these forever?” I questioned, earning a nod from Remus in reply.

Just what I needed – an eternal reminder of what an idiot I had been.

“We need to get out of Hogsmeade” Sirius spoke at once, distracting me from my thoughts “Where’s James?”

Remus shrugged his shoulders in response “I thought he was at the Broomstick’s with you”

“No – I was with, uh, Selene” Sirius answered, clearly hesitant and I narrowed my eyes at the thought of the blonde-haired Seeker, Selene Silver “He told me he was coming to find you”

“He’s at Madame Puddifoot’s” I spoke up, my tone sounding a little more bitter then I had meant.

“Why on earth would he be there?” Remus asked, but Sirius rounded on me before he could be answered.

“How do you know that?” He questioned – deep frown lines embedded on his forehead.

“He stopped to have a little chat with me on his way there”

Sirius raised his hand to his forehead in anguish “Ugh, that git – what did he say?”

“Something along the lines of “quit torturing my best friend” – though I don’t see why you would care so much” I replied icily and Sirius let his head roll back dejectedly.

“I’ll go to Puddifoot’s and get him – Remus, you take Peter and Alex and get to Honeydukes without being seen” Sirius ordered, but Remus shook his head dismissively.

“You can’t go wandering the streets of Hogsmeade with Death Eaters out and about” He replied sensibly “Not now that they think you’re a blood traitor – they’ll kill you. I’ll go instead”

“Out of the question, Moony – not with Greyback on the loose!” Sirius exclaimed before letting out a low sigh and a wave of his hand “It’ll have to be Pete, then”

I didn’t quite understand why Sirius would risk Peter being out in the streets of Hogsmeade with Greyback around, but not Remus. All three of us turned to Peter, who looked very much as if running through the streets of Hogsmeade with a bunch of murderous Death Eaters on the loose was the last thing he wanted to do. And who could blame him, really.

“M-me? I don’t know – what if I get c-caught?” Peter piped up – his voice shaking with fear.

“Be brave, Wormtail” Sirius put a hand on his friend’s shoulder comfortingly “You can do this – just take your time – and for the love of Godric, don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself”

Peter nodded a little, still looking unconvinced.

“Once you get James, go to the Shack and get back to Hogwarts – then meet us at James’ room in the Heads dormitory. Do you understand?” Sirius ordered, not waiting for any particular answer before ushering Peter in the direction of the front of the shop.

I have to say I felt awfully uncomfortable, having the Marauders of all people making this plan around me – and not to mention the fact that I was becoming increasingly frustrated with not being able to understand half of what they were talking about. But if they could somehow magically get me out of Hogsmeade – I would be more than grateful.

“We’ll go out the back and go along to Honeyduke’s – it’s not far” Sirius said as he returned from pushing Peter out of the shop. I let out a low protest as he grabbed my hand and started dragging me along the aisle to the small door I had noticed earlier on.

“What’s at-“

“You’ll find out when we get there, now c’mon” Sirius interrupted my question before opening the door to the storeroom. The room was small – littered with boxes piled on top of each other until they reached the ceiling. I didn’t get much time to look around before I was pulled out the back door and on to a small dusty street.

We ran down the road – Sirius’ hand clasping mine the entire time, as if he feared I might be snatched up by Greyback from right under his nose. Two shops down we reached Honeyduke’s Sweet Shop. Slipping in the back door, which took us right into the shop, we were met by the most delicious smell of candies, cakes and all sorts of other treats. Honeyduke’s, I noticed, was just as busy as Zonko’s had been.

I was forcefully ushered into a small room at the back of the shop – which was filled to the brim with boxes full of sweets. I watched, confused, as Sirius used his wand to push aside a couple of heavy boxes, and then lifted up the end of a dusty, old carpet – revealing a rather shoddily hidden trap door.

I followed behind Remus through the trap-door and down an unstable, wooden ladder into darkness – where I was immediately enveloped by the musty smell of dirt and stale air. I held my wand out in front of me, lighting the end so I could see where I was – it was a tunnel, tall enough for me to stand comfortably – but Remus, however, was forced to bend a little so he wouldn’t hit his head on the roof above. The tunnel itself was rounded, with crumbly dirt walls that had roots sticking out all over the place. I shuddered as I thought of how many disgusting bugs there were likely to be down here.

Sirius was the last to climb down the ladder – he shut the wooden door above him, and with a small flick of his wand I could hear the carpet and boxes moving back to conceal the trap-door.

“I remember this tunnel being bigger” Sirius complained as he joined the two of us. He lit his wand and I forced myself to keep from laughing at the ridiculous sight of him hunched against the roof of the tunnel, dirt falling through his dark hair.

“We’ve been using the tunnel to the Shack for so long – I almost forgot this one was here” Remus replied as we began to move forwards into the darkness, with only the small lights from our wands guiding us.

“Would someone care to tell me what the deal is with these tunnels – and where the fuck this one is leading us to” I asked angrily after tripping on a root which was poking up from the ground.

I heard Sirius give a bark of cynical laughter behind me “You’d think she’d speak to us a bit nicer since we’re so kindly risking our necks to save her arse, eh Moony?”

I stopped in my tracks – turning to sneer at the smug-faced boy “I didn’t actually ask for your help”

Sirius raised his eyebrows questioningly “Oh, I’m sorry – would you like us to take you back to Hogsmeade so Greyback can rip you up a bit more? Merlin knows that’s less than you deserve”

“Cut it out, Padfoot” Remus interrupted – the annoyance in his voice obvious as the sound echoed back to us “You know damn well that nobody deserves that”

“I could think of a few people who do” Sirius muttered under his breath, prodding me sharply in the back with his wand to get me moving. I scowled at him before hurrying to catch up with Remus – grateful that the low roof of the tunnel allowed me to move much faster than Sirius could.

“Where does this tunnel lead?” I asked quietly, hoping Sirius wouldn’t butt in with another of his smart-arse answers.

“Hogwarts” Remus spoke shortly, his voice sounding less annoyed than it had previously been.

I wasn’t particularly surprised at learning of the existence of this tunnel – I knew of one myself which Evan and Rodolphus had found back in our third year. Though we had no real interest in using it as it seemed the only place it led to was the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

“You said there was a tunnel to the Shack – do you mean the Shrieking Shack?

“Uh-huh” Remus answered, clearly unwilling to share any more information, though that didn’t stop me from trying.

“But why would anyone go in there? I mean, there’s some pretty horrible ghosts in there, right?”

Sirius snorted behind me “For God’s sake – it’s bad enough my trip to Hogsmeade was ruined, but now I have to listen to you asking stupid questions the whole way back too?”

“Well, I’m terribly sorry I ruined your little date with Silver” I answered through gritted teeth.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter in response “You couldn’t care less! And besides, it wasn’t a date – we were just talking”

Oh, how I laughed at that one.

“How does your boyfriend, Rosier, feel about you running out on them all anyway – I’m guessing he won’t be too happy” Sirius, clearly annoyed at my laughing at him, snapped a cheap shot at me and I fell quiet at once. I didn’t even want to think about what Evan or any one of my friends felt about what I had done.

I knew that they would be mad – or that they would even hate me for it. I didn’t think I could live in a world where they felt that way about me.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” was all I could reply – silently wondering if he was still even my friend.

Sirius scoffed loudly “Could’ve fooled – “

“Would you two shut it!” Remus interrupted once again, clearly pissed off at our squabbling “I feel like I’m baby-sitting a pair of ten-year olds”

So, at Remus’ request, I did shut it – all the way back to Hogwarts in fact, which was no short walk, let me tell you now. I didn’t even speak when Sirius tried apologising to me for being a jerk – though I very much wanted to tell him to go to hell.

Eventually, we came to a dead-end at the end of the tunnel and I almost broke my vow of silence for my annoyance at being stuck underground in a stupid tunnel with one and a half stupid boys – I figured Remus wasn’t all that bad, though he had quite an unpleasant case of mood-swings.

Remus pulled a small lever, which was poking out from the dirt to his left. Once pulled, the lever revealed a set of small steps in the wall before us, leading up to an opening which glorious light was currently pouring down from.

The three of us climbed out of the opening into one of Hogwarts many dingy, stone corridors – though at that moment I absolutely believed that it was the best corridor I had ever seen. In my relief at making it back to the castle in one piece, I lay back on the cold, stone floor –thanking Merlin out loud, and rubbing the foot of the great, ugly statue that had moved back to guard the entrance to the tunnel.

“Finally – a bit of thanks” Sirius drawled, seated with his legs outstretched on the ground next to me, making an attempt to straighten out his neck.

“I wasn’t actually thanking you” I replied without thinking – instantly realising how ungrateful I sounded as Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet, dusting off the back of his black pants.

I sighed lowly – the two of them had just escorted me safely back to Hogwarts when they didn’t even have to. They could have left me for dead back in Hogsmeade – though I was still a little puzzled as to why they didn’t.

“Thank you” I spoke up, getting to my feet and pushing my pride firmly to the side in the process “I really do appreciate your help”

Remus gave a small smile and nod of his head in reply – though Sirius stood staring at me as if I had gone mad, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Now, excuse me while I go and throw myself off of the Astronomy Tower” I said quickly – my cheeks turning a bright shade of red as I turned to hurry off – though I had barely taken two steps before both of my arms were gripped by a pair of strong hands and I was pulled backwards into someone’s broad chest.

“Oh, no you don’t” Sirius spoke, his breath warm against my ear “You’re coming with us”

“I – wha?”

“You don’t think those friends of yours will drag you back to Greyback the first chance they get?” Sirius asked, placing one of his hands on the small of my back as he turned and ushered me in the opposite direction.

“They would never” I replied, bitterly resenting him for even suggesting it.

“They’re Voldemorts servants now” Remus spoke up as we walked down the corridor – me still being pushed along by Sirius “If they are ordered – they will do it”

I shook my head firmly in disagreement – fighting the tears that stung at the back of my eyes as Sirius draped an arm around my shoulder and whispered grimly “Welcome to the blood-traitors club”

I should have felt disgusted at the closeness of him but instead, for some strange reason I found it oddly comforting to have him there – no matter how wrong he was about my friends.

Eventually, Remus led us to a large set of double-doors – the golden crest of the Head Boy and Girl on each side, with the names of James and Lily engraved underneath. Remus pushed the door open and we walked into what was a small kind of common room.

In the very centre of the room was a circular scarlet-red couch, formed in almost a full circle and surrounding a round, dark-wood table. On the far side of the rounded room were two doors – in the middle of which was a large, marble fire-place – which James Potter was furiously pacing back and forwards in front of – while Peter was seated on the edge of the couch. Both of their heads jerked up at the sound of us entering.

“What the hell is going on?” James demanded – his hazel eyes darting between the three of us from behind his black-framed glasses “Wormtail and I ran all the way back here – and you know Wormy, I couldn’t understand a word of his blabbering – but I managed to hear something about Death Eaters!”

Sirius eyed me as he replied “I don’t really know the full story myself, mate”

All eyes were on me for a moment or two, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

“Come through here then – I expect Lily will be back soon and we don’t need her snooping around” James ushered us through the door on the left into a large bedroom.

The walls of the room were a beautiful, sapphire blue and the floors a rich mahogany. As I inspected the huge, blue-clad bed against the far wall under a wide, open window, a sharp pang of jealousy hit me and I suddenly wished that I had thought of trying harder for the position of Head Girl – if Lily’s room looked anything like this one.

I perched myself on a wooden chair next to a large, study desk – removing my filthy jacket which this morning had been white, but now boasted a palette of several shades of dirt – and hung it over the back of the chair.

“Someone please explain” James ordered as he seated himself at the end of his bed and ran a hand through his dark, messy hair.

Sirius, who was standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest, spoke first.

“Apparently Fenrir Greyback was in Hogsmeade – and by the looks of things, he and Alex have had a bit of a disagreement” He answered his friend, indicating to the marks on my neck “What exactly did you do to make Greyback attack you?”

Sirius directed the question at me, but Remus interrupted briskly “Greyback doesn’t need a reason to attack – he does it purely for his own pleasure”

Sirius shook his head in clear disagreement “This is a would-be Death Eater we’re talking about – not one of his victims. And knowing Alex and her stubborn little Slytherin ways, she did something to set him off”

I couldn’t stop the guilt from spreading itself across my face “I might have disobeyed Travers’ order”

I watched as Sirius shot Remus a look that clearly said “I told you so”

“Travers? That’s the guy who went to Azkaban years ago for using the Cruciatus Curse on Muggles. Merlin, Cortez – why on earth were you with them?” James asked, and Sirius cleared his throat loudly – he already knew the answer, though he had his head cocked to the side as he waited for me to say it myself.

I stared out the window as I replied, looking anywhere but Sirius’ face “It was a meeting for the Hogwarts students willing to join the Dark Lord”

James growled loudly, immediately jumping to his feet “And you’re with them?” he asked, his eyes livid “What is this about, Padfoot?”

James directed the question at Sirius who had moved to stand between the two of us, attempting to calm his best friend.

“I don’t know exactly, James – all I know is that Alex needed our help getting away from them”

James let out a bitter laugh, ruffling his hair so much I half expected him to tear it out “And you were eagerly willing to jump to her rescue, huh Padfoot? You know, I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you – since you’ve been so reluctant to tell me anything” he shot a look between Sirius and me “But I’m telling you now that I don’t like it – she’s one of them”

I narrowed my eyes at James “I don’t know what you mean by them, but I’m not with the Death Eaters, if that’s what you’re thinking. Not after today, anyway”

“What do you mean?” Remus questioned, his voice considerably more calm then his friends. I let out a low sigh before I relayed the story of everything that had happened that day – from when I first left Hogwarts that morning, to when I ran into Remus and Peter at Zonko’s.

“Regulus was there?” Sirius asked grimly after I had finished explaining, and I nodded my head apologetically.

“This is unbelievable! Travers used an Unforgivable Curse on you – do you have any idea how close you could have been to being killed? If you hadn’t Apparated in time, they wouldn’t have hesitated” Sirius stood before the chair I was seated on, growling down at me.

I glared back at him “Well I got out of there – I’m not going to join them. You should be happy you got what you wanted”

“What I wanted was for you not to go to them at all!” Sirius barked in a harsh whisper, his hands leaning on the wooden armrests on either side of the chair I was seated on as he locked his eyes onto mine angrily and I inhaled sharply, unnerved by his temper.

A door slammed somewhere outside the room followed by voices, and James literally jumped off the bed, muttering “She’s gonna be so mad” before he slipped out into the common room. Remus and Peter, I noticed, didn’t take long to follow after him and leave Sirius and I on our own.

“Why are you so intent on keeping me away from them? Why not Regulus, or Bellatrix – your own family!” I countered, ignoring the other’s departure.

“Because my brother, and my cousin are lost causes! They’d never go against our family like I have” Sirius explained, his stormy eyes boring into me intensely “Your family is not like mine is, Alex – Serenity is a perfect example of that”

“Bella and Reg are my family – along with all the others. Not that air-headed bimbo” I spat, utterly disgusted by the thought of my do-gooder sister “You really think I’d go against them?”

Sirius let out a deep sigh, his gaze falling from my face as he replied “You’ll have to. If you won’t join them, Voldemort will turn them against you – and whether you like it or not, they’ll be your enemies”

I gritted my teeth before pushing Sirius back and standing to my feet – though he seemed quite content to glare down at me through narrowed, grey eyes rather than get out of my way.

“No – that won’t happen” I replied stubbornly.

“Open your eyes, Alex!” Sirius grabbed me by the arms, shaking me gently as if he would shake some sense into me “Voldemort won’t take kindly to you running out like you did – you’re not safe with them anymore”

I laughed at his words, though rather half-heartedly. What if Sirius was right? What if my friends were ordered by Voldemort to turn against me – would they ever defy his orders? I knew the answer right away, just as I had known that every one of them would give anything to be servants to the Dark Lord, when I would not.

“I’ll be fine” I answered Sirius, choking down any thoughts that he could be right again.

The sound of the door banging open followed by heels clicking on the wooden floor diverted my attention from Sirius.

“What the hell is she doing here?”

I growled lowly as my twit of a sister, Serenity, bustled into the room – clad in a skirt that was much too short and inappropriate for the season. Luckily, this time she was devoid of any ridiculous blonde wig – though that didn’t stop her from being a complete idiot. And right now she looked anything but happy as her eyes darted between Sirius and me, taking in his hands on my arms and how close we stood to each other.

“That’s actually none of your business” I replied bitterly, turning and folding my arms across my chest and knowing full-well that she had directed the question at Sirius and not me.

Serenity narrowed her sapphire eyes at me, preparing to speak before Sirius interrupted.

“Now’s really not the best time, Serenity. We’re kinda in the middle of something” He spoke and I couldn’t help but laugh at the fury that sparked in her eyes as he dismissed her.

She took a few steps forward – her hands placed on either hip delicately as she glared daggers at the pair of us. I could clearly see Lily and James through the open door, having some kind of argument in the next room.

“I think now’s a perfect time, actually. Maybe now you could shed some light on why the two of you have seemed to become so disgustingly close lately” Serenity demanded with a click of her tongue.

“Serenity...” Sirius began, his voice a low warning.

Serenity rolled her big eyes lazily “Don’t think no-one’s noticed – I wonder what those snakes you bunk with think of all this attention Sirius is showing you” she snapped at me and I glared at her in response – knowing that what she was saying wasn’t completely out of line. Things had changed between me and Sirius lately – he was being protective – caring even. And it was confusing the hell out of me.

Sirius moved to step between me and my accuser for the second time that day – and I couldn’t help but wonder what prompted him to do so.

“That’s enough” He growled, yet Serenity merely rolled her eyes at him once more.

I stepped around Sirius, meeting his eyes as I spoke “You know what? She’s right – I don’t know why you feel like you need to protect me, or whatever the hell it is you’re doing. But stop, okay. I can look after myself”

And with that, I walked out the door into the common room, ignoring Sirius’ weary call after me, and stepped right into James’ and Lily’s full-fledged flight

“... don’t know why you had to run out like that! Do you know how much of an idiot you made me fee – what is she doing here?” Lily mimicked the earlier question of her best friend, glaring at me with bright, emerald eyes as I strode through the room, ignoring the lot of them, and stumbled out into the corridor – slamming the doors behind me.

Instinctively, I started walking in the direction of my common room – though after a moment, I halted. I didn’t know if I was ready to face my friends just yet – or ever. But I guess I’d have to do it eventually.

I started walking again – and it wasn’t long before I heard footsteps behind me.

“Leave me alone, Black” I snapped, guessing Sirius had not taken my hint and was still intent on stalking me.

“Uh, I’m not Sirius” A familiar voice spoke and I turned to find that instead of Sirius, it had been Remus that was following me. I let out a small sigh of relief.

“What do you want?”

Remus gave a small smile – he looked tired, and I very much thought that he should be fast asleep in bed, rather than standing in a corridor talking to me.

“Just to ask you not to be so hard on Sirius” He spoke, a hint of amusement in his voice “As hard as that is for you – he really doesn’t deserve it”

I snorted loudly in response “Save your breath – Potter already beat you to the “Lay off my best mate” speech”

Remus raised his eyebrows “I guess we’re pretty protective of each other” he admitted, almost bashfully “But I’m not trying to threaten you, or make you feel uncomfortable or anything that I’m sure James would have done”

I chuckled lowly as he spoke, leaning back against the stone wall “And why is that? I thought the whole lot of you hated the sight of me”

“Not Sirius, obviously” Remus countered with a grin “I can see what it is that he see’s in you – even if James doesn’t – he was right when he told me you weren’t like the rest of them”

I raised my eyebrows questioningly – not quite sure how to respond.

“The two of you are more alike than you might think” he continued “You both come from families who disagree with your beliefs – and although you’ve always believed in Pureblood supremacy – I think that maybe... that’s beginning to change?” Remus questioned and I shrugged my shoulders dismissively.

“I really don’t know what to believe in anymore”

Remus nodded in understanding “I’ve watched the two of you together, and I’m sure that Sirius' intentions to help you are genuine”

I shook my head “I never wanted his help – I may not want to join Voldemort and this whole Pureblood uprising, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to stand against them”

Remus studied me through his blue eyes, his eyebrows knitted together in a frown “Would you stand aside and let your friends’ torture innocent Witches and Wizards just because you don’t want to stand against them? Would you watch them kill and destroy?”

I faltered – I certainly didn’t want to have to do that. But there was some part of me that believed my friends weren’t even capable of doing such horrible things.

“I guess that if it came down to it... I wouldn’t just stand aside” I answered honestly and Remus nodded his head in approval.

“This uprising is forcing us all to grow up – probably more quickly than we might have done. Sirius, especially, is beginning to realise that there’s more important things in life than chasing girls and pulling pranks. I think he’s finally starting to see that now, more than ever, is the time for us to stand together – no matter which House we’re from. It won’t matter whether we were a Gryffindor, or Slytherin, once we’re out there in the world fighting for our freedom – the only thing that will matter then, is that we’re all fighting for the same thing”

I exhaled slowly, realising the truth behind Remus’ words. It really wouldn’t matter what House we had been in once we left Hogwarts – even now, the lines were being blurred with friendships developing all over the place.

“I don’t understand how Sirius can be so willing to help me – after everything we’ve been through” I admitted, finding it strange how comfortable I was discussing these things with Remus.

Remus ran a hand through his blonde hair before answering “Sirius can be very accepting, and not to mention forgiving – if he believes that someone deserves the chance, of course. I know that better than any”

“But... we were enemies – we hurt each other. And I hated him so much” I admitted, and Remus let out a low rumble of laughter.

“You were enemies? You hated him?” He questioned, his tone laced with amusement “How exactly do you feel about him now that you’re no longer enemies?”

I faltered “I honestly don’t know... I didn’t even know that we stopped hating each other, though I know that I no longer have the urge to curse him whenever I see him now” I added with a grin, hardly believing the words coming out of my mouth.

Remus nodded softly “We’re all changing – though that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think that we need to be prepared for what kind of world might be waiting for us when we leave Hogwarts” he spoke truthfully “Well, I guess I better get back to the mess James has got himself in with Lily – Merlin knows that girl has a temper. I’ll see you around, Alex”

With a wave of his hand Remus strode back down the corridor and I stood for a few moments with my mind racing like mad. It would usually have seemed completely absurd to me but what Remus had spoken of had actually made sense.

A short while later I entered the Slytherin common room to find it inhabited by only the younger students, who weren’t yet old enough to participate in the Hogwarts trip.

I tramped up the stairs, entering my dormitory and closing the door so I could lean back against it. I could feel the distinct feeling of warm tears prickling my eyes as all of my emotions rushed to the surface. That was until I noticed the pale-headed boy seated on my bed – his broomstick held in both hands as it rested across his lap.

“What do you want, Lucius?” I asked icily, wiping a few stray tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

Lucius stood, walking towards me slowly, surveying me through narrowed, blue eyes and I moved away from him instinctively.

“I was beginning to wonder when you’d return – no-one saw you leave Hogsmeade though we were sent to search the entire town and found no trace of you. I wonder why that could be” Lucius drawled and it was clear by his tone that he didn’t wonder at all – he knew I had been helped.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly “If that’s all you came here for you can save you breath – you know I didn’t make it out of there on my own”

The corner of Lucius’ lips twitched into a sinister smile “I have a fair idea of who would help you out of a situation like that too”

I rolled my eyes lazily, not in the mood for Lucius’ games “Why are you here?”

“I have a message for you – from Travers” Lucius answered, surveying my reaction “He bid me tell you that he will let you join us again – though he certainly won’t make matters easy on you if you choose to do so”

I scoffed loudly “And why would Travers want to do something like that?”

“I imagine it wouldn’t look very good for a Death Eater to have let a young woman escape him – not when the Dark Lord finds out about it. However, if you rejoin – no-one has to know”

“He actually believes that the Dark Lord won’t find out” I asked disbelievingly, knowing that Lucius of all people was smarter than that “I guess this is bad news for Travers then. I’m not going back, Lucius – I don’t want any part in it”

Strangely, instead of flying into a rage, as I was expecting, Lucius merely let a small smile play on his lips.

“I thought you’d say that” he replied, his voice sounding dangerously pleased “And in that case, Travers has made it clear that he would allow Fenrir Greyback to make it his personal mission to hunt you down”

“He can’t touch me while I’m in this castle” I countered at once, hoping to wipe the smug look off his pale face.

Lucius raised his eyebrows, as if he knew better than that “Then you had better pray to Salazar – or Godric, if you please – that he doesn’t ask any of us to do his dirty work for him”

I let out a sharp breath – how could he possibly mean that? I was certain that none of them would betray me to Greyback. At least, I thought I was.

“Where are the others?” I asked Lucius as he swept past me, his hand resting on the brass door handle momentarily as he paused to answer.

“Still enjoying what’s left of the day in Hogsmeade. I imagine they’ll want to speak to you when they return” he answered before exiting the room, and I guessed by the tone of his voice that they would not be happy with me once they returned.

I dropped down onto my bed, closing my eyes tight as the tears finally started to squeeze out of them, running down my face and onto my pillow. Everything was so fucked up. It was as if my role in the world was reversing and there was nothing I could do to stop it and turn it back the other way.

I didn’t want to join with Voldemort – and I knew now that nothing, not even my friends, could make me do so. All I had left to do now was to find the courage to tell them just that, and hope that if they really were my true friends, it wouldn’t matter to them.

Though I couldn’t help but fear that it would.


	22. Betrayal

My eyes flitted open groggily as I stretched my arms out above my head, letting out a loud yawn. I had fallen asleep while waiting for my friends to return. By the growing darkness in the dormitory I could tell that it was late afternoon.

 

Violets white cat, Mozzie, was sleeping contentedly at the end of my bed near my feet – though its owner was nowhere in sight. I hadn’t seen Violet in our dormitory since the night of the Masquerade, though I could tell by the different states of disarray that her bed was in every morning that she was still sleeping here. I merely assumed that she crept in at night after we were all asleep, and was nothing but grateful that I didn’t have to deal with the stupid wench.

 

My stomach grumbled lowly and I realised for the first time that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I glanced at my clock and knew that dinner would have been served by now. I was deathly nervous about meeting any of my friends in the Great Hall – but my stomach was protesting too much to delay.

 

I chanced a look in the mirror first and found I looked an absolute mess. I had dirt smeared across my face and knotted through clumps of my hair – and the marks left by Greybacks claws were smeared red with blood. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and ran myself a scorching, hot shower – scrubbing every inch of my body to rid myself of the dirt, and using Violet’s entire bottles of shampoo and conditioner that she had left lying around.

 

After scrubbing my skin raw I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a fluffy, white towel around myself and throwing the wet, empty containers on Violet’s mess of a bed as I went back into the dormitory. I rummaged through the trunk at the end of my bed, searching for something that would hide the scars on my neck, which were still painfully red and swollen, as well as the smaller fingernail marks on my arm. I settled on a grey, high-necked sweater dress with a pair of warm, black tights and my favourite boots.

 

I tied my hair up into a ponytail and coated my eyelashes in a million coats of mascara before tramping out of the dormitory.

 

The common room was empty; I guessed all of the students would be at dinner by now. It wasn’t until I stepped through the entrance to the stone corridors that I was met by a sight that set my heart pounding furiously.

 

Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Evan and Lucius were standing in a group, speaking in hushed whispers. Their heads jerked upwards at the sound of me and Lucius said a quiet word to the other three, giving me a pointed look through narrowed ice-blue eyes before turning on his heel and walking in the other direction.

 

In an instant I was met by a wand unfalteringly thrust in my direction.

 

“How could you!” Bellatrix shrieked madly as she advanced on me – her black eyes wild with anger. I recoiled instantly, my mouth dropping in disbelief.

 

Rodolphus was standing a little behind Bellatrix – looking torn between whether he should hold his girlfriend back from me, or allow her to carry on. Evan stood further back, leaning against the stone wall – his arms folded across his chest and his head turned away as he refused to meet my gaze.

 

“I’m sorry, Bella – ” I started, my eyes warily dancing between the tip of her wand which was shaking in her trembling grasp as she pointed it at me, and the deranged look etched upon her face “I thought you’d understand”

 

Bellatrix scoffed in disbelief “Understand what, exactly? That you’re a blood-traitor? That you betrayed us for those Gryffindor low-lives! Merlin, I can’t even look at you – you make me sick”

 

“Give me a chance to explain!” I countered as she lowered her wand and turned abruptly from me, running her hands madly through her mass of dark, curly hair. I could hardly believe that she would ever think that I had betrayed her.

 

“Save your breath – I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses” She spat in return as silent tears of rage began to trickle down her pale face “What happened to you, Alex? You were supposed to be my sister”

 

I had always hated the sight of Bella being upset – as it was an awfully rare occurrence. I swallowed the thick lump that was forming in my throat as threatening tears began to prickle at my own eyes.

 

“You know I always will be – nothing’s changed”

 

“You’ve changed!” Bella screeched in response. Rodolphus moved to stand behind her, rubbing his hands up and down her slim arms consolingly.

 

“I thought that this was what you wanted? The purification of the Wizarding World was what we always dreamed of” She choked out, almost pleadingly, through her tears.

 

It was then the tears began to spill thick and heavy on my own cheeks “I don’t know what I want anymore” I answered her honestly, quite unable to meet the disappointment in her eyes.

 

Her jaw clenched at once – a spark of anger flashing across her usually beautiful face “It’s because of that blood-traitor, Black, isn’t it?” She questioned furiously, spitting his name as if it was a foul taste on her tongue “Because he took it on himself to save you from the Dark Lord, as I’m sure he thinks he has – and you were stupid enough to let him poison your mind against us!”

 

“I’m not against you, Bella! How could you even think that?” I countered, the sound of my voice rising with my temper.

 

She snatched her arms away from Rodolphus, advancing on me once more “Because you turned your back on us the moment you Apparated!” She shrieked at me – her raven curls falling over her shoulders wildly as she did so “You made an enemy of me the second you decided that you wouldn’t fight with us!”

 

I closed my eyes tight though the hot tears continued to squeeze out of them as I shook my head in desperate disagreement.>

 

“No...” was all I managed to choke out through my tears as both an answer to her accusation and to the cruel realisation that no matter what I said – I was going to lose my best friend.

 

“And now Greyback’s on your trail and there is nothing that I, or any of us can do to help you” Bella whispered harshly, her voice straining through her tears “I’d rather you were dead than disgraced like this”

 

I let out a disbelieving gasp – hardly believing the words that had just come from her mouth. How could she hate me so much that she wished I were dead? She swept past me and through the entrance to the common room before I could say another word.

 

“If you’re not with us you’re against us, Ally” Rodolphus spoke quietly, his head bowed as he followed behind his girlfriend and my hand immediately flew to my mouth, attempting to stifle the painful sobs that had started and now refused to cease.

 

I had an awful stab of pain in my chest which I knew, beyond doubt, was the feeling of my heart breaking.

 

“Don’t cry, Alex” Evan spoke lowly as he pushed himself off of the wall, and for the first time fixing his sapphire-blue eyes on me “You’ll make this so much harder for me”

 

“Then don’t do it” I pleaded, my voice low and trembling with my crying “Please, Evan – I-I can’t lose you too”

 

Evans eyes flashed with a sudden anger – an unmistakable sign that his temper was flaring up “I have no choice, Alex! You brought this on yourself – how could you abandon us like that?” He questioned – his bright eyes searching my own for any hidden answers.

 

“I didn’t mean to abandon you! I just... I couldn’t go through with it” I answered, quite unable to meet his unnerving gaze.

 

“Is it because of Sirius Black?” He asked bitterly “Because he asked you not to?”

 

“No! Why would you even-“

 

“Don’t lie to me, Alex!” Evan interrupted with an impatient growl, and I recoiled at his harshness “I heard from Lucius’ own lips that he helped you get out of Hogsmeade today”

 

“I-I...” I stuttered in my loss for words – quite taken aback by Lucius’ damned lucky guess. Clearly he was more perceptive than I had given him credit for.

 

“You what, Alex? You have no more lies to cover yourself this time?” Evan snapped and I instinctively stepped back as he advanced on me, until I was very much cornered against the cold, stone wall of the corridor.

 

“I was willing to wait for you” Evan whispered harshly down at me as he leaned both hands against the wall on either side of me “To wait for your heartbreak over Lucius to pass – but it seems I was a fool for thinking that you could ever love me”

 

“You know I love you, Evan – just not in the way you want me to”

 

In an instant, Evan had struck his fist hard against the stone wall in fury – my gaze dropped down instinctively as he let out a furious groan of pain – I couldn’t bear to face him when he was so angry.

I could clearly see the scarlet blood trickling down from the wounds on his knuckles before he shoved his hand under my chin, forcing my head up and my eyes to meet his own.

 

“Love means nothing now!” He growled furiously and my eyes squeezed closed tightly in pain as his large hand grazed the tender wounds on my neck “Look where it got me – nowhere! You have no idea how much I loved you – what I would have done for you!”

 

The pressure of his hand on my neck grew stronger and I had barely managed to choke out his name before he let his arms drop to his side submissively.

 

“I have no choice but to forget you” Evan spoke lowly, half turning to walk away from me before I grabbed him by the arm to pull him back and spoke through my tears which had began to fall thickly once again.

 

“No – Merlin knows that we have our petty fights from time to time. But we could never be enemies!” I reasoned, trying desperately to make him understand that it didn’t have to be like this.

 

Evan let out a low sigh “I’m afraid that decision is no longer in my hands” He said, almost apologetically, as he raised his uninjured hand to my face, gently this time, and my eyes flitted closed at his cold touch as my tears fell over his fingertips.

 

“It’s a direct order from Travers. None of us are to be associated with you anymore”

 

I inhaled sharply as he spoke “And you’re listening to him?” I asked blankly – quite overcome by the numbing feeling that was spreading itself through every inch of my body “You’re seriously letting him tell you what to do?”

 

“He’s a trusted servant of the Dark Lord – I must listen to what he tells me. My father would never forgive me if I didn’t” Evan answered – his voice barely above a whisper as he gently wiped the tears away from under my eyes. Then, he lowered his lips to my own and I let him kiss me softly – one last time.

 

“You said you’d always be there for me” I whispered shakily against his lips before he pulled away from me – stepping back as if he would pull himself out of the moment before he got lost in it.

 

Evan shook his head slowly, and dejectedly “I can’t do that anymore”

 

He gave me a last apologetic look before he turned to walk off down the cold corridor – and I couldn’t help but break as I realised that I hadn’t lost just my best friend, who could barely look at me for all her shame of me – but now my greatest protector. My one friend that had always given me the strength and courage I needed to face anything.

 

“Then you’re the traitor!” I screamed after him, expecting him to take the bait and turn back “A traitor to me!”

 

Instead, he put both hands in his pockets, bowing his head as he continued to walk away and I buried my face in my hands, all but tearing my hair out in both anguish and fury as the pain in my chest spread like a coursing fire through my body.

 

“Evan! Please... don’t do this”

 

But it was too late – he was gone. And as my heart broke in that stone cold corridor I started to wonder if refusing my loyalty to the Dark Lord was really worth all of this.

 

***

 

I ran through the Entrance Hall, past the open doors of the Great Hall where the students of Hogwarts were eating dinner – happily chatting and laughing with their friends, without a care in the world. My previous hunger was forgotten – replaced instead by the feeling of wanting to vomit.

 

I slipped through the entrance doors and stumbled out into the cool, night air where I was met by the cold rain that had began to drizzle lightly over the grounds. I knew that being out after dark was strictly forbidden – and that I would more than likely be caught and thrown into detention – but I didn’t care. I needed to be out in the fresh air.

 

I found a large tree not too far away and sat against the trunk, concealing myself from the castle and cloaked by the protective darkness of the night. I shivered a little as the cold drops of rain dripped down from the barren branches of the tree and onto my face. I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them for warmth before I let the tears fall heavily once again.

 

The numbness snaking into my mind made me feel like I wasn’t in the real world anymore – but that I was stuck in some incredibly horrid nightmare that I might never wake up from.

 

My entire body was aching, not with pain but with a kind of grief. I felt like my world was slowly but surely falling apart, and I was powerless to do anything about. I buried my head in my arms, letting the frustrated sobs overcome me as I cried for the loss of my friends.

 

Bellatrix had been my best friend at Hogwarts – her and I had been through everything together – first loves, troublesome families, the daily battle of school-life. No matter what, we had always protected each other – and it broke my heart to know that she could call me her enemy and wish me dead rather than disgraced, as she so labelled me.

 

Lucius had been my first love – always the most perfect man in my eyes. And though I hated him for how he had betrayed me with Violet, it still hurt to know that he revelled in the idea of Greyback hunting me down.

 

Evan had been my first... well, you know. And although I could never return the feelings that he had for me that didn’t mean that I didn’t care about him any less. Forever fearless and resolute – Evan had very much been my strength through a lot of hard times – including the time I had walked out on my own family.

 

And Rodolphus... well, through thick and thin, Rodolphus had always been there – silently watching and protecting me over all these long years.

 

And now, it was over. As Sirius had predicted – my friends had turned against me. It made my stomach churn to think how right about my life Sirius Black had been these days.

 

“Alex!”

 

Hastily, I wiped the mixture of tears and raindrops from my face with the back of my sleeve – turning to face the dark shadow of a figure walking towards me.

 

“Alex, I saw you run past the Hall – I need to talk to you”

 

It was Severus – pausing to lean on the trunk of the tree and catch his breath as he had clearly run out onto the grounds after me.

 

“Not you too, Sev” I whispered lowly, my voice trembling at the thought of yet another person I loved turning against me “Please, not you”

 

Severus sat down in the dirt next to me and leaned back against the tree trunk – lighting the tip of his wand so that I could see the small, sad smile on his thin lips “I’m not mad at you – if that’s what you’re talking about”

 

I stared at him disbelievingly “Y-you’re not?”

 

“Nah – I understand why you did it” He answered, taking my hand in his own and giving it a supportive squeeze “And besides, who am I to judge you?”

 

“B-but... won’t you get in some sort of trouble for talking to me” I asked incredulously – knowing that if Lucius knew what Severus was saying to me right now, he would be less then displeased.

 

Severus shrugged his shoulders dismissively “I don’t care. You’ve been there for me through everything – every time the Marauders were complete prats to me, whenever anyone bullied me for being a half-blood. I’ll be damned if I’m not there for you now”

 

The corners of my lips twitched into the makings of a smile as Severus threw an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

 

“Keep your head held high, Alex. If the others want to judge you for turning the other way, so what? I know who you are – and that’s all that matters to me” Severus whispered encouragingly and I rested my head on his shoulder – thanking Merlin that I still had at least this one courageous friend to support me.

 

“Thanks, Sev – you don’t know how much that means to me” I breathed in utter relief, closing my eyes as the drops of rain continued to trickle down my face.

 

“We should get back to the castle – it’s freezing out here” Severus spoke, getting to his feet and reaching his hand down to help me up “Do you want to go get some dinner?” he asked, though I shook my head dismissively.

 

“I think I’ll head back to my dormitory – see if I can sleep this all off” I answered, feeling utterly exhausted.

 

I parted with Severus in the Entrance Hall as I tramped back to my dormitory – hoping that perhaps in the morning I would indeed wake to find that it had all just been a bad dream.

 

***

 

I didn’t leave my dormitory for three days.

 

Hell, I barely even left my bed for three days. Sometime around Sunday morning I had woken to the pain of loss still very much fresh in my mind – and knew that no matter how hard I wished against it, this was my life, and I was very much stuck with it.

 

The girls of my dormitory treated my unusual lie-in in different ways. Kendra and Isobel hovered around occasionally – whispering to me from the other side of the curtains drawn around my bed – though I never replied, or leaving various snacks and goblets of pumpkin juice on my bedside table.

 

Bellatrix never spoke a word to me – though I could hear her huffing and puffing around the dormitory every night – more moody and volatile than usual. I thought a couple a times about speaking to her and wondered if she was feeling just as horrid as I was.

 

And Violet... well, I had almost forgotten that she had even existed. Almost.

 

In wasn’t until Wednesday, around lunch-time that the curtains of my four-poster were rudely ripped open and streams of sunlight poured into my eyes. Immediately I pulled my covers up over my head, attempting to hide from the light – only to have them dragged back off me.

 

“Alex-would-you... cut-it-out!” Kendra growled as she fought against me to gain control of the covers, which she had soon hurled off me. Isobel was hovering around behind the curly-headed girl, looking awfully concerned in her ridiculous pearl necklace and wavy, blonde hair.

 

“Ugh – lemme alone you bints” I mumbled, proceeding instead to bury my head under my pillow and pray to Merlin for them to sod off.

 

“We’re not leaving without you, Alex” Kendra persisted, snatching the pillow from my hands and adding it to the pile of blankets on the floor “We have double Potions in half an hour and if you’re not there, Slughorn will have your head – as well as mine”

 

I let out a low groan, turning on my back and glaring at the two girls through my mess of dark hair “I don’t wanna...”

 

“C’mon, Alex – I’m sick of Sirius Black asking me where you are every in damned class. Today you can explain to him yourself about this cave you’ve been living in” Kendra ordered, wrinkling her nose distastefully at the mess of my bed, before letting out a deep sigh.

 

I turned away from her, and soon felt the bed sink down a little as she sat beside me and rubbed my back comfortingly “You know, Black told me what happened to you in Hogsmeade in the weekend” She spoke softly and immediately I turned to face her.

 

“He what?” I questioned incredulously – inwardly cursing Sirius and his damned big mouth. I didn’t exactly want the entire school knowing of my run in with Greyback – I knew that only thing people would say was that I deserved it.

 

“He’s worried about you, that’s all” Kendra covered quickly, as if that was an acceptable excuse for him blabbing to her “And he knows that Izzy and I share your room”

 

“I think it’s kind of sweet how he cares so much” Isobel piped up, and I rolled my eyes lazily in response.

 

“It’s not sweet, Iz – it’s creepy” I muttered, rubbing my eyes sleepily and laying my head back down on my pillow “I can’t go to class, Kendra – Bella and Evan hate me. I just... can’t deal with that right now”

 

Kendra pushed a few stray curls from her jade eyes “I know it’s hard, Alex – a lot of people are being affected by all this, well, You-Know-Who rubbish. Violet hasn’t spoken to me in days” she confessed, hesitating a little before speaking again “She’s become... well, almost obsessed with Lucius. She’d do anything he asked her to – even believe in all that Pure-blood supremacy crap”

 

I felt my heart skip a beat as she spoke – I wasn’t exactly thrilled that my roommate was prancing around with my ex-boyfriend. And I could understand why Kendra wasn’t either. From what I knew, her Grandfather was a Muggle – making Kendra a half-blood.

 

Still, I rolled my eyes lazily “You’re not doing a very good job of convincing me to go”

 

“If you don’t come I will give Sirius Black the password to the Common Room and have him drag you out himself”

 

I narrowed my eyes at the petite girl “You wouldn’t”

 

“Oh yes, I would” was Kendra’s reply as she flicked her auburn curls back over her shoulders.

 

I let my head roll back dejectedly before I was rudely pulled from my bed and pushed into the shower, where under orders from Kendra I washed every inch of myself before tiredly stumbling back into the dormitory, only to have Isobel attack my hair with her wand – thoroughly drying and fussing around with it.

 

Kendra rummaged around in my trunk, then after throwing my uniform at me she ordered me to change. Reluctantly I stomped over to the bathroom once more, slamming the door behind me before changing.

 

When I emerged I was immediately swooped upon by Isobel once again who directed me to sit on her bed while she busied herself with caking on my face with several different pots and vials of makeup.

 

I complained my arse off the whole time, naturally, though dreaded having to actually leave the dormitory for class when Kendra and Isobel were done fussing over me.

 

Soon enough, however, I found myself being all but dragged through the door to the Potions classroom where I was met by a vast collection of curious stares. I tried to ignore the lot of them as Kendra pushed me down into the chair next to Sirius with an awfully smug look spread across her face, before taking her seat with her Gryffindor Potions partner at the table behind me.

 

I could feel Sirius’ unnerving stare burning into me as I crossed my arms across my chest and slumped down into my chair – wishing I was anywhere but there.

 

“Where the hell have you been?” Sirius questioned me – the concern evident in his tone.

 

Still, I ignored him – slumping down even further, hoping he’d get the message and leave me alone. The last thing I wanted was for Bellatrix or any one of the other Slytherins to see me speaking to Sirius – especially when they thought he was the reason behind my betrayal.

 

Sirius cleared his throat loudly before speaking again “What’s wrong with you?”

 

When I didn’t reply again, Sirius let out a loud sigh before turning in his chair and clearly mouthing something to Kendra. I couldn’t see how Kendra responded but as Sirius turned back around I saw him raise his eyebrows questioningly and looking over in the direction on Bella and James – who were sitting as far apart at their table as was physically possible.

 

Bella, obviously sensing his gaze on her narrowed her black eyes at Sirius – and then at me. I growled lowly, wishing Sirius wouldn’t draw so much attention to the pair of us.

 

He soon turned to lean closer to me and spoke in a soft whisper “I’m guessing they didn’t take it too well then?”

 

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his ignorance, yet was spared having to answer him by Professor Slughorn who bustled into the room to begin the lesson – giving me a pointed look the entire time which I took to mean that I was in big trouble for skipping classes the past couple of days.

 

Since we had double Potions that day the first half of the lesson was spent listening to Slughorn ramble on about various ingredients used in advanced Potion-making while making notes on them. I distracted myself with twirling my quill around my fingers the entire time as I drifted between listening to Slughorn prattle on and getting lost in my own thoughts – having written nothing on my parchment but the date.

 

I could sense Sirius watching me out of the corner of my eye the entire time, of course, though I paid little attention to him. When Slughorn had finished with his lecture we were given a short break before we were to begin our practical and I took the chance to bolt from the classroom – ignoring the stares of my classmates as I hurried past them.

 

I pushed my way out through the door – standing in the cold corridor and taking a few deep breaths to compose myself. Soon enough I heard the shuffles of students as they filed into the corridor behind me – either heading to the bathroom or merely stretching their legs. I slipped around a nearby corner that I knew no-one would use, not wanting anyone to bother me.

 

At once I sunk down onto the stone floor – shivering a little as the cold penetrated my legs through my thick stockings – and rested my forehead on my bended knees. I had never felt so utterly alone in all my life. I meant metaphorically, not literally – as I found myself hardly alone when someone plunked himself down beside me.

 

I only had to inhale the rich smell of him to know that it was Sirius. He cleared his throat softly to announce his presence and I turned my head a little to look at him – his forehead was creased into a frown as he stared at me through his stormy eyes.

 

I let my head lean against my knees as I looked up at him “They hate me” I managed to whisper softly, forcing my voice not to break as threatening tears began to burn my eyes.

 

Sirius didn’t answer – he merely nodded his head in understanding, accepting my explanation for being missing in action the past few days. And then he did the strangest thing. He wrapped his arm around me, grabbing me by the waist – and reluctantly I was pulled against him. Though the warmth that his body provided was welcome, the sudden affectionate gesture was not.<

 

“Quit squirming around” Sirius ordered after a moment as I attempted to free myself from his grasp. I let out a small groan of displeasure, though after realising he didn’t plan on letting me get away from him so easily, admitted defeat and resigned myself to sitting nestled beside his warm body, stretching my legs out beside his considerably longer ones and letting put a low sigh.

 

I found it strange how the disgust and pure anger I was so used to feeling whenever Sirius was around had failed to rise in me. I guessed that I was feeling so hurt and not to mention confused from my friends turning on me – that I just didn’t have the strength in me to fight against him anymore. Also the fact that he was no longer trying to curse me but more comfort me didn’t help the matter.

 

I was suddenly seeing a different side of Sirius – and I was starting to think that maybe... just maybe, it wasn’t all that bad.

 

For a few minutes we sat in silence – my eyes fixed on a spot on the stone wall opposite me as I fell into deep thought. I could hear Sirius’ steady breathing beside me, and feel the rise and fall of his chest against my shoulder with each deep breath he took. I couldn’t help but find the feeling strangely comfortable, and somewhat hypnotic. It wasn’t until I felt his hand tighten on the side of my waist that I felt compelled to speak up.

 

“You know, I still think you’re an insufferable prat” I said, meeting his gaze only to find his eyebrows raised in amusement. For the first time I noticed the specks of ice-blue hidden among the misty grey of his eyes, and the light scattering of freckles across his nose that I found myself thinking only made him look even more handsome.

 

“And I still think you’re a psychotic wench – but what else is new, huh?” Sirius countered and as the corners of his lips twitched into a knowing grin I couldn’t help but let a small smile form on my own lips.

 

Sirius pushed a few strands of raven hair off of his face. His smile slowly began to fade, replaced by a look that I had never seen on him before. His lips parted a little as if he wanted to say something – but then closed again as he hesitated.

 

I found myself quite unable to turn away from him – something about the way he was looking at me was so intriguing and unguarded. I know it was crazy of me, but I didn’t want him to stop.

 

He raised a hand, brushing the back of it lightly against my cheek and I let out an involuntary shudder at the warmth of his skin as my eyes flitted closed for a short moment – feeling quite unaware of anything other than his touch that made every inch of my skin feel like it was on fire.

 

I felt the pressure of his other hand on the small of my back, and instinctively I let him pull me harder against him – my heart pounding fiercely in my chest as I found my hand resting against his knee. I opened my eyes once more and he lowered his face a fraction closer to mine. I could feel his warm, ragged breath on my lips and his hand gently running through the length of my dark hair – my head had begun to spin lightly, a cloudy kind of feeling invading my mind.

 

“W-what are you doing” I managed to whisper, quite transfixed by the way Sirius’ eyes darted between my own eyes and my slightly parted lips.

 

Sirius didn’t answer – instead, he continued to lean closer until the very tip of his nose brushed against my own and a strange kind of electric surge ran through me. At once, I let out a low gasp – pulling back instantly as I suddenly realised the dangerous position I was putting myself in. I let my eyes squeeze shut as I spoke rather unsteadily.

 

“We should get back to class”

 

My breath was still escaping unevenly as I let my eyes meet his own once more and found his expression very much changed – he eyes held a look of confusion... or maybe it was disappointment, I couldn’t quite tell. All I knew was that my own head was racing with a thousand different thoughts.

 

Sirius let out a low sigh before getting to his feet, offering me his hand to help me up. As we wordlessly walked side by side back to the Potions class I couldn’t help but take notice of how Sirius moved alongside me. How he slowed his pace if I walked slower, or moved faster if I sped up – and the way his hand rested on my back for the briefest moment as he shuffled behind me to get to his seat. It was almost as if he thought Greyback was lurking somewhere under a table or in a nearby cauldron – ready to jump out and attack without a moment’s notice.

Professor Slughorn had organised for the remainder of the class a potion for us to work on in our pairs. To say I couldn’t concentrate on making any potion was an understatement – I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t even know what kind of potion we were supposed to be making.

 

My body was filled with a torrent of emotions – so much that I barely knew how to keep them all contained. I was sure that Sirius had tried to kiss me out there in the corridor – but what I couldn’t understand was why. We had been enemies for so long, and even though now we seemed to have come to some sort of mutual understanding of each other – that was as far as it went.

 

I certainly didn’t have any feelings for him – whether they be friendly, or something more.

 

Sirius didn’t say a word about whatever it was that had happened between us– instead he busied himself with trying to get me involved in the potion-making. However, when he finally realised that I was going to be no help – as I was slumped down in my chair, clearly ignoring everything around me– he spent the time instead trying to make me laugh by purposely sabotaging our potion with various ingredients to make it hiss and steam, bubble and overflow all over our table – and then finally, explode with a loud bang.

 

I have to say that he had certainly done a good job at diverting my attention – and by the end of the class my grey skirt was drenched from the contents of our cauldron I was forced to bury my head in my book as I laughed in hysterics at the utter failure of our work.

 

Slughorn bumbled past our table – shaking his head and tutting at our cauldron before telling us we had failed the lesson, only serving to fuel our laughter even more.

 

I could distinctly see the sharp eyes of Bellatrix as she glared at us from her nearby table – making me feel incredibly uneasy and cease my laughter at once. I couldn’t explain it – but she made me feel almost guilty for laughing with Sirius when she looked at me like that.

 

When the class was over, I was throwing my bag over my shoulder when Slughorn bustled over to me. I groaned inwardly, wondering what punishment I would be dealt this time.

 

“Miss Cortez – may I have a word with you before you go” He asked sternly – his gingery-blonde eyebrows burrowed into a frown as he surveyed me through his small eyes.

 

I gave Sirius a knowing look before following Slughorn to the front of the class, where he stood before the large blackboard and waited for the last of the students to leave before speaking.

 

“I’ve been notified by your other Professors that you have been absent from your classes this week” Slughorn spoke gruffly and my stomach dropped – I knew that eventually I would be confronted by him for skipping classes.

 

"Now, I haven’t received word from Madame Mellick that you’ve been ill – so I wonder, Miss Cortez – could something else be the matter?”

 

Something about the tone of Slughorns voice made me think that he didn’t wonder at all – that he had his own idea of why I had been absent, though I didn’t know what exactly.

 

“I just... I haven’t really been feeling up to it the past couple of days, Professor” I answered honestly, hoping that he wouldn’t press for too much information.

 

Slughorn nodded his head, as if in understanding. He clasped his large hands behind his back before speaking again, this time very lowly “I know that some students, particularly ones of my House, are having a difficult time dealing with the new threat of, well, You-Know-Who” he all but hissed the name and I wondered why people weren’t just saying “Voldemort” – as I guessed that was who he was speaking about.

 

“Some students may think of me as just a bumbling, old fool” he continued – a hint of amusement evident in his tone “But I assure you, Miss Cortez, I do care very much for the welfare of my students. If you are having any problems, whatever they may be, I hope that I can do my best to help you with them”

 

I suddenly felt an unexpected surge of affection for my old Professor as he smiled at me and I knew that he was genuinely worried about me.

 

“Thank you, Professor, I appreciate that – but I’m fine now, really” I lied, grateful for his concern but not particularly wanting to divulge any information to him about my meeting with the Death Eaters – information which I knew could land me in a lot of trouble.

 

Slughorn nodded softly in reply and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was entirely convinced.

 

“You know, Miss Cortez – I think that too often we Slytherins are misunderstood. We always hear that old Hat of Professor Dumbledore’s ranting on about Slytherins being cunning and power-hungry – and perhaps sometimes that may be so – but that doesn’t mean that we don’t possess any other worthy traits” Slughorn spoke, watching me very seriously “I’d say that we hold great ambition, and determination – wouldn’t you agree? Confidence, charm, forward-thinking – these are all merits that the students of Slytherin House possess and value”

 

“But even with all of that, you should never let anyone define you by your House alone – remember that you’re free to make your own path in life. And if you should ever decide that you need someone to talk to, just remember that my door is always open” He spoke kindly and I nodded gratefully in reply.<

 

His words definitely did have a way of making me feel better about myself and I realised that maybe because I had no intention of joining the fight against Muggle-born Witches and Wizards, didn’t exactly mean that I had failed in the name of Salazar Slytherin.

 

“Also, I’d appreciate it if you would attend all of your classes from now on – this is an important academic year for you, Miss Cortez, what with N.E.W.T’s coming up and all” Slughorn added, more sternly this time as he wagged a stumpy finger at me “By the way – have you given any more thought to which career you may pursue upon graduating from Hogwarts?”

 

I shook my head in reply – in truth, I had given no thought whatsoever to that subject – and I didn’t plan on it anytime soon. Right now all I wanted to do was make it through this year – hopefully in one piece if I could continue to elude that damned beast, Greyback – and I would worry about the topic of my career when it was all over.

 

“Well, it’s getting a little late now but I’d like for you to let me know as soon as you have decided so that we may plan a new study path for you if need be” Slughorn replied in a clearly disapproving tone.

 

“Yes, Professor – I’ll do that” I answered rather falsely – yet Slughorn seemed satisfied enough with my answer as he dismissed me and I hurried from the classroom before he decided to give me a detention or two.

 

***

 

After an uncomfortable dinner in the Great Hall which consisted of Kendra, Isobel and I huddled at the end of the Slytherin table, receiving unwanted, questioning and bitter stares from a number of different people including certain Slytherins, Gryffindors and one particular Ravenclaw, I spent some time hiding away in a corner of the library with both girls – pretending to catch up on homework now that I no longer had Bellatrix to take care of it for me.

 

Though what I was really doing, as Kendra and Isobel had their heads bent over their parchments writing furiously, was just writing random words with my quill every now and then to make it look as though I was busy when really I was trying to figure out my mess of a life.

 

I couldn’t think of any other way to prevent Bellatrix and Evan hating me but to join Voldemort again – which I most certainly could not do. My only comfort in this situation was knowing that I still held the friendship of Severus, which I was most grateful for.

 

Rodolphus, I knew, would most likely go along with what his girlfriend and best friend would do, mostly being too lazy and unwilling to decide for himself. Lucius had already made clear his disapproval of me and Regulus and Rabastan I could only guess would be made to turn against me as well. I thought then that perhaps Narcissa, seemingly having no part so far in Voldemorts uprising may still be with me – but I knew deep down that she was easily swayed by her sister’s harsh instruction.

 

And then there was Sirius Black. I knew that Evan and Bellatrix’s anger towards me was fuelled even more by the sudden closeness between Sirius and I. I couldn’t even put a label on it myself, which served to confuse me even more.

 

We weren’t friends, though we weren’t enemies – and we certainly weren’t anything that the supposed rumours going around were depicting us as. So where the hell did we stand? And why the hell did I care about the answer to that question?

 

All this caring about people and trying to figure them out crap was beginning to do my head in. I thought maybe I could consider finding a nice cave in a mountainside somewhere where I could live my life as a hermit and not have to worry about anyone other than myself. Merlin knows that would make my life a hell of a lot easier – even if I would miss things like electricity, and beds and personal hygiene.

 

I had just began contemplating how to tell Professor Slughorn my desired career path was to become a hermit when there was a loud ‘pop’ in front of me and I almost fell out of my chair in fright.

 

Perched in the middle of the table was a small House-Elf, with large furry ears and a little, knobbly nose. I noticed immediately that the elf – dressed in a white, linen cloth which tied over one shoulder – looked considerably better off than the ones that served the Black household at Bellatrix’s house.

 

The little elf, it seemed, had knocked Kendra’s bottle of ink over the parchment she was currently writing on, though neither Kendra or Isobel had seemed to notice as they were gawking at the creature almost as stunned as I was at its sudden arrival.

 

“Miss, Miss!” The elf shrieked at Kendra in a voice I clearly recognised as feminine “Nelly has a message for you, Miss – from Master Black”

 

Kendra’s eyebrows burrowed into a dark frown “You have a message for me – from Black?” She asked disbelievingly – her tone clearly convinced that the elf had made a mistake.

 

“Yes, Miss – Nelly has a message for Miss Alex, from Master Black” Nelly squeaked and Kendra could barely stifle a giggle as she pointed a slim finger past the elf and at me.

 

“That is Miss Alex” She answered Nelly who turned to stare at me through eyes that were as large as saucers and a deep shade of purple. They seemed to twitch rather oddly as she surveyed me.

 

I raised my eyebrows at Nelly “You have a message from Sirius?” I asked, wondering why on earth he would need to commandeer a House Elf to get a message to me.

 

“No, Miss!” Nelly squeaked, moving hurriedly across the table towards me and leaving a small trail of ink-stained footprints behind her “A message from Master Regulus – he asks that you meet with him at once”


	23. Lost

I hugged my arms tightly around myself for warmth as I paced through the chilly stone corridors towards the library where Nelly the House Elf had instructed me to meet Regulus, and wondered why he had sent for me. I hadn’t spoken to Regulus since our ill-fated trip to Hogsmeade in the weekend, and I didn’t know how he would react to my arrival – nor was I sure I wanted to find out, if Bellatrix and Evans example was anything to go by.

So far, I had had mixed reactions from the other students of my House – some applauding my choice as bravery, and others downright hating me for my cowardice. So I was a little surprised that when I approached the library and found Regulus lounging against the closed doors, arms folded across his chest lazily, that the first thing he did was push himself off of the entrance and wrap his arms around me, pulling me firmly against the warmth of his body.

“I’m so sorry, Alex” he spoke quietly, though I could easily sense the hint of distress lacing his tone.

“Reg- what on earth for?” I questioned the dark-haired boy as I pushed him back a little and examined his anguished grey eyes.

Regulus ran a hand slowly through his hair before speaking “That day in Hogsmeade when that half-breed, Greyback, hurt you like that – I swear, Alex, I was so mad” he growled, his voice trembling noticeably with his growing anger and I lay a hand on his arm at once to calm him.

“And then Travers using the Imperio Curse on you... I should have done something. I should’ve ripped their disgusting throats out!” Regulus pulled away from me, tearing at his hair in anguish and I couldn’t help but watch him disbelievingly for a moment before gently pulling his hands down into my own.

“No, Reg” I replied – my voice a desperate plea for him to compose himself “You shouldn’t have done anything but what you did – I would never want you to be hurt on my account. I mean, I understand now why no-one would want to challenge a bunch of Death Eaters”

Regulus’ dark brows furrowed in distress “No, you don’t understand, Alex – it’s not because of those scum-bags that I didn’t do anything. It’s because... it’s my parents. They’re not like your family – If I put a foot out of line, then I’m out on the streets”

I shook my head in disbelief, having met his parents many times and witnessing how they doted on their youngest son “Surely they wouldn’t do that to you, Reg. They adore you”

“They adore me because I do what they ask of me – I act how they want, I be the son that they want me to be” Regulus breathed in clear resentment as he leaned back against the stone walls of the corridor dejectedly, reminding me in that moment so much of his older brother.

“My parents have been keeping a watch on me even more so since my brothers disappearing act. For some reason they’re afraid I’d be stupid enough to follow in his footsteps”

“So why don’t you?” I asked, for a moment clinging to the small glimmer of thought that perhaps there was still a way to save Regulus from this dangerous mess “Do you really want to be stuck in a world of Pureblood madness?”

He let out a soft sigh “It’s all I’ve ever known. Besides, I’d never be brave enough to turn on my parents – I don’t have a drop of Gryffindor courage in me”

“That’s not true, Reg – you don’t have to be in Gryffindor to be brave” I replied, surveying his inscrutable, solemn features “I already know that you are – I mean, you’re here talking to me when you know you’re not supposed to”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else” he answered, and the small shadow of a smile flickered on his lips “And I’m glad you think so – that means something to me, at least”

I bit on my bottom lip to hide the small smile of my own before letting out a slow, weary breath “I don’t want you to get caught up in all this, Reg – you’re so young. It’s just... it doesn’t seem fair”

“I know you think I’m just a kid – but I’m not anymore, Alex, I’m growing up” Regulus countered as he moved to take my hands in his own and hold them against his chest “I can look after myself. This is what I want – it’s my own choice. I know that you don’t agree with it but, well... you shouldn’t worry about me”

I let my head drop dejectedly and stared at the stones beneath my feet “I do worry – especially since I can’t be there myself to watch out for you”

“I have Rabastan, and Rod and Evan – you know better than anyone how they look out for their own” Regulus answered and I couldn’t help but wince at the pain of hearing their names.

He ran his hands up my arms consolingly “I know that you must miss them – but I understand why you don’t want to join with the Dark Lord, and to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me”

I let my eyes meet his own once again, a little shaken now that I realised that what Regulus was saying to me was true – he wasn’t a kid anymore. He had grown in so many ways this year that I had to force myself to believe that he really could look after himself.

I was about to respond – to him that no matter what path he chose I would still do everything I could possibly do to keep him from harm. But before I could speak I noticed Regulus stiffen considerably and I followed his narrowed eyes behind me.

“Well, isn’t this a touching scene” The familiar sarcasm of Sirius Black drifted over as I turned to see said boy advancing on the pair of us, a sour smile plastering his face and a scrap of parchment held in his hands before him. He folded the parchment leisurely and placed it in the back pocket of his dark jeans before speaking.

“Just the intolerable, little Slytherin I was looking for” he drawled, fixing his stormy eyes on me and I narrowed mine in return – guessing that he was back to being his usual, insufferable self.

“I’m a little busy right now, if you don’t mind” I dismissed him with a flick of my dark hair, to which he raised his eyebrows incredulously.

“I was actually speaking to my brother, if you don’t mind” he countered, his lips twisting into a satisfied smirk as I scoffed at him for making me feel like a complete idiot once again.

“I’d like a word with him... alone”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” I snapped at once, earning an eye-roll before Sirius let his head roll back dejectedly.

“It’s okay, Alex – I’ll be fine” Regulus stepped in to assure me and I almost blurted out that I was just as wary about him cursing Sirius, rather than vice-versa, though I held my tongue as I noticed Sirius’ eyebrows raised at the pair of us questioningly. I clicked my tongue in disapproval, shooting Sirius a suspicious glance before stomping off down the corridor.

I turned around a nearby corridor, allowing my footsteps to echo loudly as I walked away from the scene, and then swiftly turned and tip-toed as quietly as possible to conceal myself at the end of the corridor – where I planned to eavesdrop on the boys conversation.

“... know what you’re getting yourself into? You’re making a mistake by joining with him, Regulus” I could distinctly make out Sirius’ low growl as I pressed myself back against the stone wall, as close to the corner of the corridor as I dared.

“So you may think, brother, but what else would you have me do? I want to make our parents proud” Regulus answered coolly – I could tell by the mere tone of his voice how much more guarded he was around his older brother and it struck me then that in all my years at Hogwarts I had never actually seen the two of them have a conversation together.

“Will they be proud when you’re dead? Because that’s all this stupidity is leading you to!” Sirius barked in return, his temper clearly getting the best of him “You don’t have it in you to be a murderer”

I held my breath as Sirius spoke, trying to be as quiet as possible to hear the hushed conversation better. I wondered briefly if I should step in and say something before things got out of hand – but there was a bigger part of me that wanted to find out if Sirius’ words would have any effect on his younger brother – it seemed now that this was the last chance we had to change Regulus’ mind.

“How could you possibly know that?” Regulus questioned, his voice faltering as he let his guard down for a glimmer of a second “You don’t know me anymore”

Sirius let out a low, angry growl “You’re my brother! I know you – and I’m asking you, please, reconsider this decision” he pleaded, and I knew then that even though he had never admitted it, Sirius wanted to keep Regulus safe just as much as I did.

“I’ve made up my mind. I won’t abandon my family as you have” Regulus answered levelly, composing himself once again.

There was a short pause, before Sirius spoke, almost too quietly for me to hear “Then you’re both an idiot, and a coward – and Merlin knows you deserve nothing but death”

As he spoke those last words, a kind of furious surge flashed through me. I could make out the sound of footsteps as someone walked away from the scene and thankfully in the opposite direction to where I was presently concealed, though I had no idea which brother it was. Next, I heard the distinct rustle of parchment and someone letting out a low sigh before speaking.

“You can come out now, Alex”

I emerged from my hiding place absolutely fuming when I discovered who was still standing in the cold corridor, once again surveying the strange piece of parchment he held in his hands.

“How dare you” I exclaimed furiously, advancing on the grey-eyed boy until I stood barely an inch away from him, pushing my hands against his broad chest “How dare you speak to Regulus like that – to tell him he deserves death!”

Sirius grabbed my wrists firmly, forcing me to stop pushing him before stooping down to hiss at me “Last I checked he was my brother – not yours. I’ll speak to him however I please”

“Just because he’s not my brother doesn’t mean I don’t care about him!” I spat in return, fighting against Sirius’ grip to free my arms from him before stepping back a couple of paces.

“Is that so?” Sirius questioned, his tone laced with venom “I would think you would’ve fought harder to change his mind if you cared about him so much”

“Regulus has made his choice, as we all have!” I countered bitterly, thoroughly resenting Sirius for his comment as I knew that I had already tried everything I possibly could to change Regulus’ mind.

“Do you really think that if there was anything else I could do that I wouldn’t have done it by now?”

Sirius raised his eyebrows at me, as if determining his answer before speaking “Maybe, maybe not. Who knows with you Slytherins”

He brushed past me, his voice as sharp as a knife and I turned and stared after him in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” I questioned, letting my voice echo around the space between us and swallowing the thick lump that was beginning to form in my throat “How can you possibly judge me by my House now – after all I’ve done in your favour. You know how much I’ve had to give up!”

Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned partly to face me “What have you had to give up? A bunch of deadbeat friends, and your reputation as Queen Bitch? I hardly think that’s anything to cry about”

I wiped away the warm tears that had fallen down my cheeks with the back of my hand, not quite understanding why I was so upset over Sirius speaking to me like this. But somehow, it all felt so unfair – what else was he expecting me to do?

“You wouldn’t, would you? You’re so fucking self-absorbed that I bet you’ve never spared a second to think about what might upset someone else!” I countered – biting my lip and willing the tears to stop falling.

Sirius let out a low bark of cynical laughter “As opposed to you? How can you possibly call me self-absorbed when you’ve done nothing at Hogwarts but treat everyone else like they’re the scum on the bottom of your ridiculously expensive shoes!” he growled – his stormy eyes flashing with rage as he pointed an accusing finger at me “You, sweetheart, should take a good look in the mirror before accusing me of your own crimes”

I could feel the familiar sense of rage coursing through me as he spoke and I paced forward to hiss at him, deadly serious “You know what, Black – I was wrong about you. I thought that perhaps you weren’t as bad as I had always thought. But now I see that you’re the same arrogant git that you’ve always been – do me a favour and stay the hell out of my life!”

“Gladly!” Sirius exclaimed harshly in reply as I turned and strode as fast as I could to get away from him, for the first time in my life feeling self-conscious of my Italian-leather boots as they clicked on the stone floor beneath me.

I wiped away my tears with my sleeve as I let myself cry freely. I hated how much I had been crying lately – it was so weak. So not like me at all. But I hadn’t exactly been feeling like myself for a while now. I didn’t feel like the same confident, determined person I had always been – instead, I felt nothing but lost.

I had almost stormed all the way back to the Slytherin Common Room, furiously trying to control my emotions when I heard a familiar drawl address me, giving me a hell of a scare.

“Rough day, huh kid?” I stopped briefly in my tracks as the infuriatingly handsome face of Deryk Lynch peered out at me from his gilded frame which he was lazily lounging against, his arms folded against his broad chest.

I narrowed my eyes at the portrait of the deceased Quidditch player before muttering, mostly to myself “I’m so not in the mood for this right now”

Deryk smirked darkly, ignoring my comment “So, what’s the name of the blighter who’s got you all in a huff?” he questioned as he pushed himself away from his frame and straightened his robes prudishly.

I rubbed the last of the moisture from my face, refusing to let myself think of the infuriating sod that was Sirius Black “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Deryk shot me a taunting wink, obviously not willing to drop the subject “Something’s got your knickers in a twist, lass – if it ain’t a bloke then what else would it be?”

I let out a low sigh before replying blandly “Try life"

“Be glad you’ve got one, sweetheart – we aren’t all as lucky” Deryk let out a low chuckle “Mind you I guess being me isn’t all that bad. I don’t have to worry about petty things like food and hygiene – and then there’s that pretty, little lass up in Ravenclaw tower I’ve been visiting lately...” he drifted into a dreamy kind of trance and I took the opportunity to slip away – if he was crushing on a Ravenclaw student then that was his own creepy business.

I pushed my way tiredly through the entrance into the crowded common room – ignoring the various stares I was receiving and instead heading up the staircase to my dormitory.

The first thing I found when I entered my room was a mess of clothes strewn all about the floor – and on closer inspection, I realised that they were all mine. Next I noticed Violet perched beside my trunk, pulling out various articles of clothing while Bellatrix stood beside her, looking into the mirror and holding up a particularly expensive black mini-dress against her body.

She turned as I entered and offered me a taunting smirk as a greeting.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I questioned the pair of them furiously, noting Violets nervous glances between Bellatrix and I.

“What does it look like, traitor? I’m seeing which of your clothes fit me best” Bellatrix replied simply, completely aware of my fury though paying no attention “Although it’s not many, unfortunately – maybe you should lay off the pumpkin pasties for a while”

“Get your disgusting hands off my things!” I growled at the raven-haired girl as I snatched the mini-dress from her hands and threw it back into my trunk.

Bellatrix let out a snort of laughter “Well, it’s not like you’re going to be needing them for much longer” she replied, dismissing me with a wave of her hand.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I questioned the girl, earning another dark smirk in return.

“Let’s go, Violet. The boys are waiting for us – and I bet Lucius is dying to see you” Bellatrix ignored my question and sang to her pug-nosed friend, smiling contently as she skipped out of the dormitory.

I slammed the heavy door before Violet had a chance to close it behind her as she followed behind Bellatrix, and continued furiously to gather up my mess of clothes off of the floor and return them to my trunk.

I had no idea what Bellatrix meant when she said I wouldn’t be needing my clothes much longer, but I put it all down to her just trying to scare me. I knew better than anyone the tactics she used when she was out to destroy someone – and I certainly wasn’t going to let it work on me.

***

 

Over the weeks leading up to Christmas, the people I once called friends began to treat me in very different ways. Bellatrix and her replacement best friend, Violet, had taken it upon themselves to make my life a living nightmare – trashing my things when I was out of the dormitory, whispering and giggling behind my back and all out just being total bitches. The only source of comfort I could take was by giving it back twice as bad as I got it – which had led to wands being drawn more than once, but proved that I still hadn’t quite lost my reputation as Queen Bitch, as Sirius had so kindly put it.

Roldolphus outright ignored me – never once glancing my way or acknowledging my presence as he trailed along behind his commanding girlfriend. I knew that it was just has way of dealing with things like this – If he didn’t have to think about it, it didn’t exist.

Evan, however, never took his piercing eyes off of me. I couldn’t tell if it was jealousy of my other friends, remorse or something else entirely that made him do so – but his constant attention made it so much harder to forget that he was no longer a part of my life.

Firmly keeping his word, Severus continued to openly support me in my choice to not join the Dark Lord – though I knew it was becoming increasingly harder for him to do so with Lucius constantly on his back about it.

I hadn’t heard a lot from Regulus – but I couldn’t help but notice how he was different to the others – how he never openly participated in taunting other students or gave in to Lucius’ conceited demands. I began to think that maybe he was more like me, rather than them. But then the only question left to ask then was why did he insist on joining the Death Eaters – and to that question I had no answer.

And last, but most certainly not least, was Lucius himself – who would watch me with his icy gaze and cold half-smile, in a way that made me feel like he was waiting for something. Whatever that something was, I had no clue – but it was making me feel increasingly uneasy.

“Alexandra, c’mon – you can’t spend Christmas moping around the castle on your own!”

I rubbed my temples slowly as Isobel yet again began her rant on why I would be better off spending Christmas with her and her Grandparents in Sweden, rather than staying at Hogwarts. I had never spent a holiday at Hogwarts in my life – but now that Bellatrix and I were no longer on best terms, and there was no way in hell that I was going home to my own interfering family, I didn’t have much options.

I let out a low sigh as I moodily stabbed at a potato with my fork. It was dinner time in the Great Hall, and as per usual over the past week I found myself seated at the Ravenclaw table wedged in between Isobel and Xavier.

At first our migration to a new eating place had felt nothing but awkward – but the Ravenclaws didn’t seem to mind us joining them, even if the Slytherins did look at us with a new disgust. But why should I care about what they think anyway.

Lately I had been feeling rather out of place in my common room – or anywhere in the castle, really. It seemed that Hogwarts was beginning to feel less and less like home, and more like an uneasy prison, with enemies hidden around every bend. So I had taken to spending more and more time with Xavier and his Ravenclaw friends, anywhere that prying eyes could not find us.

“I don’t know, Iz” I answered the fair-headed girl, searching my mind for any kind of excuse to worm my way out of her newest proposal “I don’t want to intrude”

Kendra, who was seated opposite me with her now boyfriend, Max, let out a loud snort into her goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

“Come off it, Alex – you don’t want to spend Christmas with Isobels grandparents because they’re Muggles. Isn’t that right?”

I shot a dark glare at my curly-headed friend for her rashness – though couldn’t say she was entirely wrong. I hadn’t actually met a Muggle in my life – let alone spent a festive holiday with one. Can you blame me for being more than a little hesitant?

Isobel narrowed her blue eyes at me “That’s it – you’re coming” she spoke firmly “It’ll do you good to actually spend time finding out what Muggles really live like – they’re not quite the unintelligent animals you might think, you know”

I could sense Xavier stiffen somewhat at that comment from beside me, and couldn’t help but feel bad at the thought of his Muggle Mother.

I raised my hands in the air in mock surrender “Okay, okay I’ll spend Christmas with you – but I am not going without magic the whole time we’re there”

“No worries, sweetie – Grandmama and Poppa are very tolerable of us magical folk” Isobel gave me a quick wink before returning to her meal, clearly happy at the choice I had made.

I slumped back on the bench and let out a low sigh.

“You know, you could always go home to your own family for Christmas” Xavier spoke quietly beside me before raising his fork to his mouth.

I shook my head adamantly “No way am I dragging myself back to them” I replied firmly, earning a pointed glare from Xavier’s dark eyes.

“I don’t get it – why don’t you want to make things right with your parents again?”

All the reasons that I would never admit began to run through my mind – because I was too proud, too embarrassed at my past behaviour, and even though I missed my Father so much that my heart ached – I couldn’t bear the sight of my condescending Mother and my stuck-up Sister. I found it much easier to not think about them.

“Don’t let your pride get in the way, Alex” Xavier lectured and my lips immediately twisted into a scowl – I was both amazed and annoyed at how easily Xavier could always guess what was on my mind.

“I’d rather not talk about this, if you don’t mind” I replied coolly, earning an eye-roll from Xavier in reply.

“Look Violet, how sweet – Alex still thinks that little pout of hers will have guys dropping at her feet” Bellatrix swept past, darkly batting her eyelashes as her minion, Violet, trailed behind her.

I narrowed my eyes at my former best friend and hissed “Keep walking, tramp”

Bellatrix merely let out a mockingly sweet, tinkling laugh “Say, Stone – has Alex told you yet the real reason behind her befriending you?” She asked Xavier, who’s eyebrows furrowed questioningly in response.

“Didn’t think so” she giggled to herself, turning to leave before adding as an afterthought “I heard our boys have got it out for you on the Pitch next month, Stone – I guess being friends with the one and only Alexandra Cortez isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh? I would know”

She pranced away from our table, looking every inch the Queen Bee as Violet followed behind her, giggling stupidly at her pathetic remarks. I scowled at her retreating back before turning back to notice Xavier’s eyebrows raised at me questioningly.

“So, why did you befriend me then?” he asked and I let out a low groan in response.

“You can’t be serious – you actually believe what that wench is saying?” I countered, hoping I could find some way to steer Xavier’s mind away from that particular topic. The last thing I needed was to have yet another person mad at me.

“Alexandra...” Xavier warned, his voice dangerously low and I knew then that he wasn’t going to let the subject go.

I broke under his dark, questioning glare “Okay, so... it might have had something to do with breaking you and Lily up” I admitted before adding quickly “But I swear that was only at first, Xave, obviously I wouldn’t be sitting here with you now if it wasn’t!”

Xaviers dark brow furrowed and he bit his lower lip in clear annoyance “And when were you planning on telling me this?”

“Well... never! If i’d had any choice in it” I answered honestly, immediately regretting it when I saw how his eyes widened in disbelief.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that” Xavier replied angrily, pushing himself up from the table to leave “If anyone needs me I’ll be down at the Pitch – apparently preparing myself to be pummelled by a bunch of vengeful Slytherins”

I stared after him incredulously “Xavier, wait...”

But he wouldn’t listen – and I watched as he stormed through the great, open doors of the Hall, which Bellatrix and Violet were leaning against the frame of, making some sort of comment as he passed by them.

I narrowed my eyes at Bellatrix as her own dark one’s turned to meet my own in a look of pure satisfaction – and it was right about then that I snapped. Abruptly, I jumped to my feet and ignoring the questioning stares of the people I was previously dining with, I marched down the length of the Great Hall so furiously that steam ought to have been erupting from my ears.

Bellatrix failed to hide the alarm in her eyes as she realised I was out for blood and swiftly turned on her heel, disappearing into the crowd of the Entrance Hall.

I easily found her among the students and drew my wand a second before she glanced back over her shoulder and in an instant she had pulled out her own and just as quickly as I had, aimed a powerful Expelliarmus curse at me. Simultaneously our wands flew through the air over a few nearby students’ heads and out of sight. Bellatrix gave a quick, nervous glance in the direction she thought her wand may have landed but I didn’t give mine a second thought.

As soon as I was within reach I lunged at the raven-haired girl, who let out a low groan of pain as she was knocked to the hard stone ground by my weight on top of her petite frame. Immediately she lashed her hands out in retaliation, her sharp fingernails scratching painfully across the soft skin of my cheek as she struggled to push me off of her and I struggled in return with a series of furious punches and screams.

A few students nearby let out astonished gasps, but I ignored their curious eyes. Bellatrix was no longer my best friend – she was nothing but a selfish, conniving bully and in this moment I hated every inch of her being.

Bella had just lashed her clawed nails out at me once again when unexpectedly I was grabbed under the arms and firmly pulled backwards, just out of her reach. At the same time I noticed a rather dishelved looking Rodolphus attempting to pull his enraged girlfriend out from the fight and I took the chance to kick out my foot, colliding the flat heel of my boot with Bellatrix’s jaw. She let out a shriek of pain, struggling furiously against Rod’s iron grip as I too was being dragged to my feet and ushered through the crowds of surrounding students who were excitedly urging on the fight.

I was pushed down a nearby corridor, one that I knew led down to Hogwarts kitchens, before I could turn and face my kidnapper. Furiously I rounded on the boy who had his arms firmly fixed on either side of my arms as though afraid I might escape back through the crowd and pummel Bellatrix some more.

“Lupin!” I screamed furiously at the sandy-haired boy, Remus Lupin, as he put a finger to his mouth as an order to keep quiet before shooting a nervous glance back around the corner to the Entrance Hall and make some kind of hand gesture.

“What the hell are you doing?” I questioned Remus furiously, wishing he had left me to deal with the psychotic wench – Merlin knows it was nothing less than she deserved.

Remus turned back to me, whispering lowly “Saving your arse from detention, thank you very much” before indicating back to the scene I had just been dragged away from,

I chanced a glance around the corner in time to see an utterly perplexed-looking Professor Slughorn march through the circle of students to find nothing but emptiness in the centre, followed by a raging Professor McGonagall who looked to be cornering and questioning the students who couldn’t escape from her fast enough.

Next thing I noticed was James Potter advancing towards me and I hastily hid back around the corner hoping he hadn’t noticed me, before actually realising that I was standing with one of his best friends.  
He all but skidded around the corner before pressing himself up against the wall as if to hide from something.

“McGonagalls trying to coax me into questioning students” he exclaimed breathlessly and I raised my eyebrows incredulously, wondering why it seemed so hard for students to escape from McGonagalls clutches – it wasn’t like the woman was in her prime, exactly.

“Here, I got this back for you” James added, holding out a wand to me “You better be bloody grateful too because it was no easy task diving under students feet to retrieve it – I don’t know why Padfoot couldn’t bloody well do it himself”

I rolled my eyes at him in annoyance “Well, maybe I would be grateful Potter if this were actually my wand” I exclaimed while holding the dark, walnut wand – which was longer and more slender than my own elm one – out in front of me in disgust “This is Bella’s”

James’ eyes widened in delight from behind his thick-framed glasses “Oh, I guess I’ll be taking that back then” he ordered, reaching out to take the wand back from me.

I recoiled at once and James huffed at me impatiently “Look, Cortez, you’re bloody lucky I haven’t turned you in to McGonagall for that little scene back there. But to be honest, seeing you beat the living daylights out of Black’s face has got to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen” he grinned sheepishly and I rolled my eyes in response.

“Even so, I can have you put in detention in the blink of an eye – so hand it over” he concluded, eyeing Bellatrix’s wand hungrily.

“I don’t think so” I snapped at the hazel-eyed boy, stepping back from his clutches “Until I get my wand back, I’m keeping this”

“You won’t have to wait long then” The unmistakable voice of Sirius Black joined us as he emerged from around the corner, followed by Peter Pettigrew. He held in his hand another wand which I knew for sure was mine “You’re lucky I managed to snatch this up before Lestrange got to it – no doubt my cousins having a horrendous tantrum about the loss of hers”

I reached out for the wand and scowled when he dragged it back just out of my reach. Sirius and I had been rather on edge around each other since our fight outside the library that night, serving only to make Potions class even more unbearable. For some reason I couldn’t help but feel like Sirius blamed me for not trying harder to change Regulus’ mind about joining with Voldemort.

“Uh, uh...I don’t think so” He taunted smugly “If you want your wand you’re gonna have to trade for it”

I shot him a dark glare before handing Bellatrix’s wand over to him – I didn’t care so much what happened to it as long as I got mine back.

“May I ask why exactly you were fighting that horrible wench anyway – though I can’t say it wasn’t entertaining” Sirius asked as he pocketed the wand and handed mine over.

I tucked my wand safely into my robes before leaning back against the wall “That bitch told Xavier how I only became friends with him to break him up with –“

I halted as I realised that I had already sworn to Sirius that I had had nothing to do with Xavier and Lily’s break-up – which in all honesty I hadn’t – but it had been my intention for befriending Xavier in the first place.

Unfortunately, I could tell by the look on Sirius’ face that he already knew what I was about to say. He narrowed his eyes at me darkly “Why is everything that comes out of your mouth a complete and utter lie?” he barked at me, and I scowled at him in response.

“Why do you care so much?” I spat in retaliation, content to stand my ground against him.

Sirius snarled at me “I don’t” he replied before storming off and I glared at his retreating back as he left. He had most definitely been quicker to anger lately and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was going on with him.

“C’mon” Remus spoke up – his voice, the usual mask of calmness, breaking the tense silence “Let me walk you to class”


	24. Rumours

I leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chair I was currently seated on and let out a lazy sigh. It was the last class before Christmas break, Defence Against the Dark Arts, and already my brain was in holiday mode.

Professor Keyes was busy drawling on about how even though it was our last class, and we were no doubt eager for our holidays to begin, we were still expected to put the same amount of effort into the lesson as we normally did. I almost laughed out loud as I didn’t think he realised that my normal effort wasn’t much above zero.

Lately in classes, when doing work in pairs, we had been forbidden to work with a student from our own House. Supposedly Dumbledore still had the idea in his loony, old head of pushing all this unity crap on us. It was beginning to annoy the hell out of me.

You’d think, given our history with them, that the students of Slytherin would be more than reluctant to pair with a student from the despised House of Gryffindor. But since the first day it’s literally been a mad dash by the Slytherins to nab a partner before they ended up stuck with one of the Marauders. I kid you not, there had literally been blood spilt over who would pair up with who, it was that ridiculous.

Luckily for me, Remus Lupin and I had an unspoken agreement to partner up every time – as I refused to be paired with Sirius Black in yet another class, and spent a majority of my time trying to convince myself that James Potter and Peter Pettigrew did in fact, not exist. Didn’t you know? All this time they had merely been a figment of my dark, twisted imagination.

Oh, if only.

Professor Keyes instructed us to find partners, and thankfully the Professors never mentioned anything about finding a different partner, so I swung my bag over my shoulder and started over to the table where Remus was sitting.

However, on my way I had the misfortune of bumping into a rather furious looking, raven-haired girl who swung her shoulder against mine roughly as she stomped past me, her black eyes narrowed into a deathly glare.

“Watch it, bitch!” I snapped at Bellatrix who merely pulled a middle finger at me before settling into a seat beside Selene Silver.

I glared at the girl resentfully – the pair of girls actually, as I wasn’t too fond of the Quidditch “Star” Selene. Bellatrix had been nothing but murderous since she lost her wand – of which I’d learned the Marauders had stuffed into the mouth of a trout they had stolen from the kitchens and tossed into the lake to feed the giant squid, earning them a nice, long month worth of detentions. 

Though obviously, the whole fault rested on me since I had started the very public confrontation in which Bellatrix had lost her wand in the first place, according to the deluded tramp I once had the misfortune of calling my best friend. Well, that’s what I liked to tell myself, anyway. But it’s not like her parents couldn’t afford to buy her a new one, which they had obviously done if the slender wand she twirled between her slim fingers was any indication.

But though I hadn’t actually been caught in the act, the lovely purple bruise my foot had left on Bellatrix’s jaw was proof enough for Slughorn to give me a week’s detention, which were to be served after Christmas break.

Feeling thoroughly pissed off at Bellatrix’s constant hostility, I threw myself down next to Remus and let out a long sigh. I was glad at least to have a partner who was somewhat bearable, unlike Sirius who Isobel, seated on the other side of Remus, had chosen as her partner. And not to mention Peter who was seated contentedly next to Kendra in front of us. And don’t even get me started on James who was staring over at the rest of us rather pitifully from the other side of the class where he had ended up with Rodolphus, who looked equally as pleased about the match.

Remus, taking one look at my expression sighed in obvious defeat “It’s going to be another one of those days, isn’t it?”

I fought the urge to narrow my eyes at him and instead took in a deep, steady breath. “No. Today, I’m not going to let her, or any of them get to me.” I spoke levelly, and Remus raised his eyebrows in clear amusement.

“That’s a first. We best get started on this work then, before the beast is unleashed and we have no chance of getting it done.”

I rolled my eyes at Remus’ taunt, watching him pull out a scrap of parchment and quill from his bag while I held my wand at the ready. Our task today was to write a collaborative research paper on the impact and effects of dark duelling magic, and practice the appropriate defensive spells to counter them.

A loud burst of conversation momentarily distracted me and I glanced past Remus to find Isobel clearly having way too much fun ordering a sullen-looking Sirius around. It was in that moment that Sirius chose to glimpse my way and I hastily looked away just in time for Remus to drop a large book down in front of me and shoot me a look which I could only guess meant “Let’s focus on this now, shall we?”

I let out a lazy sigh, entirely not in the mood to do anything other than wait for class to end so my holiday could begin. I opened the book and chose a page at random, flipping through a few more when I couldn’t find anything useful.

“How about we start with this? Sisterespira.”

“Okay,” Remus agreed, writing the name at the top of the parchment with his quill “First, we need a short description of the spell.”

I read the words from the book, and Remus copied them onto the parchment “Sisterespira is a form of dark magic which on the surface appears to attack the respiratory system, giving the victim the sensation of choking or being strangled, but in actuality creates only an illusion to fool the mind into thinking the attack is on one’s body.”

I finished speaking and flicked through a few more pages, waiting for Remus to finish scratching away with his quill when I felt a familiar pair of narrowed, stormy eyes on me. I looked up at Sirius and raised my eyebrows in response.

“Did you want something?” I asked the dark-haired boy, ignoring the fact that Isobel was attempting to coax him into giving her ideas for their research paper. I heard Remus groan lowly, and knew how quickly he tired of the confrontations between Sirius and I. But I didn’t care.

Sirius pushed a few strands of dark hair away from his eyes before folding his arms in front of him “I was just curious as to why you let Moony there be a “part of your life”, but I have to stay the hell out of it?”

Boys. What use were they, really?

Remus stopped writing instantly, turning to glare at his friend and speak gruffly before I had the chance to reply “Don’t start, mate.”

Sirius’ face softened a little and he slumped back in his chair, not uttering another word. I turned my attention back to my book, uttering under my breath to Remus “He is such a git – what the hell is his problem, anyway? One minute he’s completely normal – well, as normal as he can manage, I suppose. And the next he’s biting my head off.”

Remus ceased writing and let out a low sigh, sneaking a quick glance at Sirius before speaking quietly “Well, Padfoot has been going through a lot lately,” he started, laying down his quill and running a hand through his sandy hair “I don’t want to go into too much detail but... I guess you should know. Someone close to him is… well, sick. And I guess he’s just been having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this person may not be around for much longer.”

I didn’t know what to say to this. I suppose that I had begun to assume that his problem had something to do with me, or Regulus and all this Voldemort business. It certainly seemed like I was the one having to put up with all his crap, anyway. I had never even given a second thought to the fact that something else entirely could be bothering him.

But still, I was confused. As far as I knew, Sirius had had little contact with any of his family for a long time. The only people he was obviously close too were the Marauders. Surely, it couldn’t be one of them?

I glanced at Remus, immediately noting how pale he always seemed to look. Unhealthily pale, some might say. And there were often days when he would drag himself into class looking so tired and feeble. Could it be that this person he was talking about was himself? That he was the one who was sick, and may not last much longer?

“Oh, sweet Merlin. Remus... are you dying?” I blurted out, holding the large book up in front of my face to keep any eavesdroppers from overhearing us.

Remus shushed me quietly and I could clearly see the shadow of amusement on his lips “No, it’s not me. Why would you think that?”

I shrugged “Uh, I dunno. Well who is it then? Is it Peter?” I asked as I peeked from behind my book at the mousy boy in front of us. I had never taken much notice of him before, but he seemed perfectly healthy. Maybe a little on the chubby side, but he didn’t exactly look as though he was dying.

Remus shook his head “It’s not anyone in this class, okay. It’s someone much older,” he explained before adding sternly “Now stop being so nosey, you’ll get me in trouble for telling you anything in the first place.”

I lowered the book and shut my mouth as Remus went back to scratching away with his quill on the parchment, but I was far from content about what he had told me. If Sirius was acting this way because he was worried about the illness of someone close to him, then why had he been acting so nasty towards me lately? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my fault that whoever it was was sick in the first place.

So it had nothing to do with me, really. Sirius had no reason to use me as some sort of means to let out his frustration over a completely different matter. And I planned on telling him exactly that – the next time I could get him alone, that was.

***

“They should have been here by now.” Isobel clicked her tongue impatiently, her breath coming out in little puffs of white air as she pulled back the arm of her ivory trench-coat to glance at her Muggle wristwatch, which I’d learned had been a Christmas gift from her Grandparents last year.

Isobel and I had stepped off the Hogwarts Express a few minutes ago, and after saying goodbye to Kendra, Max and Xavier were currently waiting on Platform 9 and ¾ for Mr and Mrs Mosely to escort us to their home, where we would spend the night before heading to Isobel’s Grandparents home in Sweden for the week of Christmas break.

I drew my tailored blazer tight against the icy December wind and let out a low sigh as Isobel searched the crowded platform for her parents. I myself hadn’t the slightest idea what they might look like, so I figured I wouldn’t be much help. I left Isobel to it, and had just found a spot against one of the brick walls to dump my trunk, when I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

I turned, expecting to find Isobel in her ridiculous pink, woollen hat telling me her parents were waiting – but instead I found a certain grey-eyed boy watching me rather unsurely. I narrowed my eyes at him at once, wondering what Sirius Black could possibly have to say to me now. And if it was so he could vent his last minute frustration before he left for his jolly, old Christmas holiday, then I was ready to give him a piece of my mind.

He adjusted the large, crimson sports bag, which I guessed held his Quidditch gear, on his shoulder and ran a hand through his shaggy, dark hair before speaking lowly “I didn’t know you were leaving Hogwarts for Christmas.”

“I didn’t know you were supposed to be informed of my holiday plans,” I answered cynically, mentally preparing a nice, long speech about how I was fed up with his constant aggression towards me “Would you like an itinerary?”

Sirius rolled his eyes lazily and my eyebrows rose curiously as I surveyed him closer. He looked different somehow – not angry, or irritated as he usually had been when I encountered him. But more like there was something heavy weighing upon his shoulders. I can’t explain why, but I felt a little guilty for my frosty greeting all of a sudden.

“I’m spending Christmas with Isobel. She practically begged me to.” I explained – though still rather on edge as I had yet to find out what Sirius wanted, exactly.

Sirius nodded his head in understanding, his usual, steely gaze looking anywhere but directly at me. I could clearly tell that he was distracted, so I cut to the chase for him.

“Look, you obviously came over here for a reason. So, what is it?”

Rather unsteadily, Sirius fixed his stormy gaze on me and spoke lowly “I just... I wanted to tell you to be safe while you’re away from Hogwarts.”

I searched Sirius’ face uneasily – I couldn’t help but feel like he was holding something back. Like he wasn’t saying everything he wanted to “When did you start caring about my safety?”

Sirius gave a small smile in response, and for the briefest moment, I saw the shadow disappear from his handsome face to be replaced by his familiar mask of confidence.

“Since I realised that I was being a jerk.” He admitted sheepishly, stepping a little closer so that he could add quietly after that “There’s a war going on. I know that it might not seem like it when we’re living in the safety of Hogwarts. But out here... well, things are real bad”

I listened carefully to what Sirius was saying. He didn’t know that I knew what he was having to deal with. Was that the bad thing that he was talking about? It was a little hard for me to believe, looking around me and seeing all the happy families of students being reunited with their families for Christmas, that there was anything any worse than usual going on in the world.

“But,” Sirius hesitated, looking at me as if he might be gauging my reaction to his words “What I really want to say is that I’m sorry for those things I said to you that night. I know that you’re struggling with losing your friends to Voldemort – I was being a complete idiot when I said it wasn’t worth getting upset over. I’m sure that they meant to you what James, Remus and Pete mean to me. So... I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I stood for a long moment after Sirius had finished speaking, trying to actually comprehend what he had just said to me. I was speechless. Literally. I was so shocked at the fact that Sirius Black was standing in front of me, tormenting himself enough to actually apologise and admit that he had been wrong, that I could do nothing but stand there like a dumbstruck idiot.

I was spared with actually having to come up with a hasty response, however, as James Potter sauntered up to the pair of us, remarking loudly “Oi, Padfoot! If you’re done spreading your Christmas cheer around, Mum’s waiting for us.”

Sirius shook his head at his friend impatiently “Just give us a minute, would you.” he ordered, giving James a firm push. James eyed me curiously before turning and skulking off through the crowds and no doubt back to where his Mother was waiting.

Sirius watched me thoughtfully for a moment before speaking again “Just make sure you take care of yourself while you’re away.”

I shrugged my shoulders dismissively “I don’t know how much trouble I can get into with a couple of elderly Muggle geezers.”

It was true – I really had no idea.

“You’re spending Christmas... with Muggles?”

I nodded my head in confirmation and Sirius visibly mouth the word “Wow” as Isobel skipped up to us, a beaming smile plastered across her face.

“Oh. Merry Christmas, Black.” Isobel greeted Sirius pleasantly and I found myself wondering how on earth the girl had ended up in Slytherin as she beamed at me.

“Alex, sweetie, my parents are waiting in the car outside the station. Mama is terribly sick, I’m afraid. She didn’t want to brave the cold.”

“I better get going anyway – I shouldn’t keep Mrs Potter waiting” Sirius said promptly, hesitating for a short moment before he stepped forward, laying a strong hand on my arm before ever so gently leaning to kiss me softly on the cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Alex” he whispered, his breath warm and uneven against my skin, sending my stomach into a spiral of crazed butterflies. I didn’t dare move an inch – I didn’t know how to react to this sudden affection.

I watched wide-eyed, as still as a statue and probably looking like a complete loon as Sirius hoisted his sports bag more comfortably over his shoulder and gave me a last warm smile before heading through the crowds to find James and his Mother.

I knew instantly from the way that my face had started burning that I had turned a bright shade of red, no thanks to the fact that Isobel and most of the students passing by were gawking at me with their mouths hanging open.

“Oh... Merlin. That was so sweet” Isobel breathed as she linked her slim arm through mine. I charmed my trunk to follow behind us as we left the station, and shushed the blonde-haired girl while pulling my black, woollen beret further down in an attempt to hide my burning face.

I can’t believe Sirius Black had had the nerve to do that. Kiss me like that – In front of all those people on the platform. Not that it was horrible or anything. It actually felt quite nice – the softness of his lips combined with the roughness of his stubble. And then there was the insane way his touch sent a million tiny tingles through my body.

“Correct me if I’m wrong” Isobel began silkily as we approached a black town car, where a driver wearing a black cap was waiting to open the door for us “But I think you’re beginning to like him”

“Who? Black?” I asked, pulling my beret off my head, which sent my dark hair tumbling down my back, to look at the girl disbelievingly.

“Mmhmm. Look at you, you’re as red as a tomato” Isobel laughed softly as she climbed out of the snow and into the back of the car.

“I do not like him” I countered stubbornly as I followed Isobel into the warmth of the car, groaning lowly as I imagined all the rumours that would spring from that one tiny moment when I got back to Hogwarts.

 

***

To my surprise, over Christmas I discovered Isobel’s family to be nothing but welcoming. Her Grandparents were good humoured, and showed a curious interest in magic – they delighted in watching us lazily show off our abilities in the living room after dinner each night.

My encounter with Fenrir Greyback in Hogsmeade was slowly beginning to fade in my memory, and I found myself thinking less and less of it during the Christmas break as Isobel distracted me with various forms of Muggle activities, her favourite one being skiing – where you would throw yourself down the side of a mountain wearing a couple of wooden planks stuck to the bottom of a pair of shoes. I was completely hopeless at this, naturally, but all of that falling face first into the snow did help to knock certain memories from my brain.

I did, however, think it important that I practice my Apparation skills, in case I should ever need them in such a situation like at Hogsmeade again. Isobel gladly joined in, and by the time had come for us to return to school we were confidently Apparating between the lodge and the nearest Wizarding village, which was half a day’s walk away.

We returned to Hogwarts the evening before classes, around dinnertime, and being starving after our long train ride, Isobel and I headed straight to the Great Hall in search of food. The Hall was filled with noisy students, gossiping about their Christmas stories. I was about to look for Xavier at the Ravenclaw table, but was halted briefly by the sight of a familiar young blonde seated at the Slytherin table with another girl from her year.

I headed over to seat myself beside Narcissa, with Isobel at my heels, ignoring the sharp glare I received from Bellatrix, as sharp as a knife in my back. I strutted past, my head held high. I was just as much a Slytherin now as I had always been, I had every right to sit anywhere at this damn table that I wanted.

And I knew for a fact that Narcissa wasn’t involved with Voldemort and his Death Eaters, so Bellatrix had nothing she could hold over her younger sister – presuming Narcissa actually wanted to speak to me.

“Hey, Cissy.” I greeted the wide-eyed girl as cheerily as I could manage. Given the fact that I had no idea how she would react to me, I might as well act pleasant just in case.

“Alex,” Narcissa breathed in response, apparently not quite knowing how to react to the sudden intrusion. And I couldn’t blame her, really. What with her older sister glaring daggers down the table at me.

“Look, Ciss” I held up a hand to interrupt Narcissa, speaking soothingly in hopes that it might put her at ease “I just wanted to find out if you’re okay. I mean, I know we haven’t talked in a while, what with all this You-Know-Who business going on.”

Narcissa gave a small nod of her blonde head, attempting a smile “I’ve been okay, I guess. I’ve just had a lot going on lately” She answered, rather dismally.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly “Is something the matter?”

I could swear that I briefly saw Narcissa’s eyes flicker in her older sister’s direction. “Well, it’s my parents. They’ve started to pick out suitors for me” She admitted and I couldn’t help but let out a small gasp of disbelief. “They want me married as soon as I graduate.”

“Are you kidding me?” I blurted, not quite believing what I was hearing. Narcissa getting married? She was hardly old enough to be thinking about that. And who in their right mind was so medieval that they would pick out suitors and force their kid to marry them anyway?

“Many of the Pureblood families are doing it” Narcissa’s friend, a dark-haired girl with a rather long nose and squinty eyes, whose name I didn’t know, answered matter-of-factly. As if she had read my own mind. “I’ve already been betrothed to Lance Avery. Though I can’t say I’m terribly thrilled about it. That guy is so high half of the time It’d be a wonder if he could tie his own shoelaces”

I confronted Narcissa, not particularly interested in her friends concerns for her husband-to-be “Who do you think they’ll choose for you?”

Narcissa held a slim finger to her chin, as if deep in thought “They’ll aim for the highest families, of course. You know how self-important they think themselves” She said, and I had to agree. It wasn’t hard to see that the Black’s thought themselves the cream of the crop.

“I doubt they’ll choose Evan, he’s too closely related, but I’m sure that won’t stop them adding him on the list somewhere” Narcissa scrunched her face in disgust at the thought of marrying the guy who was something like her second or third cousin. “And Bella already has a claim to the Lestranges through Rod, so Rabastans out.”

“So you have no idea who else they would go for, really?” I questioned, thinking that it might even be someone we didn’t know.

It was then that I noticed Narcissa flush a little “I have a fair idea of who they might have in mind.”

I shrugged as she studied me, not knowing who she could possibly be talking about. She seemed to hesitate a little before saying quietly “If the Dark Lord rises in power, who do you think will be the ones who rise with him? The ones who are funding his cause, is who. And I think we both know by now who has enough money to be doing this”

I thought for a moment or two before I clicked. Of course, why hadn’t I thought of it before? Hadn’t I already beared witness to Sirius threatening Lucius that he knew all about his father’s financial support of Voldemorts cause.

“You really think they’d choose Lucius?” I breathed, and Narcissa gave a small nod.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought of the possibility of it. How could Narcissa, as sweet as innocent as an infant, be expected to marry the growing tyrant that was Lucius Malfoy, who was only “sweet” when he was sweet-talking someone into giving him what he wanted. The very idea was as ridiculous as expecting a fire-breathing dragon to befriend a kitten. Neither of which would end well.

“Well you can’t go through with it” I stuttered “I mean, this is the selfish git who knowingly used me and broke my heart in the process. You can’t think that he’s going to treat the wife he takes any better.”

Narcissa shrugged, as if she had already thought this over “There’s still over two years until I graduate. Who knows, he might have grown up a bit by then.”

I gaped at the girl incredulously. She sounded almost as if this was the very thing she had her heart set on. But why would she?

“Well, what about Violet” Isobel piped up, twirling the string of pearls, which hung around her neck, between her fingers. “I thought they were a couple, or something”

Narcissa dismissed the comment with a wave of her hand “Bella says he’s only using her to warm his be-. I mean, he’s not serious about her.” She shot an apologetic look at me, but I only scoffed loudly.

“This makes no sense. How can you not be upset at your parents for choosing that insufferable prat for you to be stuck with for life?” I questioned Narcissa rather heatedly, before the wheels in my head started to turn and I began to remember a conversation that had taken place between Narcissa and I a while back. One where she had made clear her feelings for a mysterious, older student who she adamantly refused to divulge the identity of.

“Unless he’s the guy you’ve been crushing on,” I struggled to keep my voice steady as I spoke, resisting the urge to scream at the girl, who had always been as good as my little sister, and make her understand that she was far too good for the likes of Lucius Malfoy. Even if his father was ridiculously rich and influential. “The one who’s name you refused to tell me all that time ago”

Narcissa’s cheeks flooded with colour and I knew at that moment that I had hit the mark. And I can only explain the emotion that ran through every inch of my body at that moment as disappointment. Plain and simple disappointment.

Narcissa bit down on her lip, keeping her gaze fixed to the table below her as her bright, blue eyes began to fill with tears “I’m sorry, Alex,” she spoke softly “But you should know better than anyone – you can’t help who you fall in love with.”

I froze at once, uncertain as to the meaning behind her words. “What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice tight.

“The whole school has been talking about it. You and Sirius Black” Narcissa explained, her tone questioning “I thought... I thought you two were...”

“You thought wrong, Narcissa” I hissed at the girl, using her full name for what felt like the first time in my life. Narcissa visibly recoiled, and I knew why. I was furious all of a sudden – not at Narcissa, who I suppose my anger was wrongfully aimed at in that moment – but at everyone. Everyone who dared to gossip about me and the ridiculous possibility that Sirius Black and I could ever be anything more than uneasy acquaintances.

I knew after Sirius and I had parted at King’s Cross that I would be forced to return to school and to a torrent of rumours that would follow. I would wring Sirius’ cologne-laden neck for that when I next had the chance, he could be sure of that.

“But, Bella said...”

“Forget what Bellatrix said, you know she hates my guts. Black and I are nothing” I snapped at Narcissa, as suddenly in front of me the great long table we were seated before filled up with a various assortment of delicious food, causing my stomach to grumble loudly.

“Look, Ciss” I forced myself to calm down a little, figuring I shouldn’t blame Narcissa for only repeating what she had heard from everyone else “I’m not mad at you, okay? But I just want to warn you that Lucius is nothing but trouble. I don’t want you getting hurt, that’s all ”

Narcissa didn’t reply, and I didn’t have to look at her to know that her face was shamefully downcast. And who could blame her really, when she had just admitted to me that she was in love with my slimy, conniving git of an ex-boyfriend. 

And I knew that there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. The heart wants what it wants, I guess. It wasn’t too long ago when I myself had thought Lucius was the love of my life. All I could do now was hope that Narcissa’s parents would wise-up and do what was best for their youngest daughter, rather than for themselves.

I almost snorted out loud as I realised that there was a fat chance of that happening.

After I had decidedly stuffed myself with enough to eat, Isobel and I headed up to our dormitory for an early night, ready to get up bright and early for class in the morning. I was glad to find the two of us alone in our room, as I didn’t particularly want to put up with Bellatrix’s snide remarks after my blissful holiday without her.

I took the chance to take a long, steaming shower, emerging afterwards to find Isobel fast asleep in her bed, the curtains drawn closed around it. I changed into a pair of navy, flannelette pants and a white, long-sleeved top, and then finally slipped my feet into a pair of cosy socks before settling into my cold bed with a shiver.

I snuggled into the warmth of my comforter, ridding my mind of the thought of Lucius and Narcissa as I dozed off before I even had the chance to pull my own curtains around my bed.

It seemed like only mere minutes later when I was abruptly woken by the sensation of something clasped tightly around my ankle. I barely had time to open my eyes, noticing how the cold air rushed over my body from where my comforter had been torn off me, before whatever was grasping onto me pulled me so forcefully that I was roughly heaved off of my bed and landed on my stomach with a painful thud on the hard ground.

I groaned as the air was all but knocked from my lungs, and somehow managed to flip myself over onto my back, to find a figure standing tall and solemnly in the darkened doorway, holding a slender wand, of which something that looked like a dark rope, was protruding from the tip of, currently pulling me across the length of the room.

I began to panic – my fingers clawing uselessly at the smooth surface of the floor. I tried to let out a cry for help, knowing one of my roommates was bound to have woken from the sound of my fall, but the very sound caught in my throat, and no matter how hard I fought and pulled against the rope that was pulling at me, it was useless. 

The cord burned as it dug into the skin of my ankle as I was pulled brutally from the room. I came to a halt at the top of the staircase– still half-dazed and too confused from sleep to comprehend fully what was going on. All I knew was that I was in trouble.

And I only began to realise just how much trouble that was as the cloaked figure lashed out a boot at me, and with a sharp, painful kick I was sent tumbling down the stone staircase and into the darkness below. I threw my hands out at once, grasping on either side of me to find something to hold on to which would break my fall. Until my head collided heavily with one of the stone steps and I was thrust into a world of darkness.


	25. Challenge

The first thing I noticed was the smell. Damp, earthy – like the way the tunnel had smelt the day that Sirius and Remus helped me to escape from Hogsmeade. But this was no tunnel. Instead of the still, stale air I remembered, there was a cold wind that mercilessly breezed over my body, making me shiver through my thin, cotton top.

My body ached all over, which wasn’t helped by the fact that I seemed to be caught underneath something incredibly heavy. I opened my eyes slowly, ignoring the painful pounding of my head, to find myself staring directly up into the very same pair of animalistic, yellow eyes that I had dreaded ever having to meet again.

I froze – the fear rising up in me; overflowing like a goblet filled with too much water. This couldn’t be real. It had to be some sort of nightmare, it just had to be.

“Hey there, Princess,” The raspy growl of Fenrir Greyback’s voice drifted down to my disbelieving ears as he leered above me, his knees positioned on either side of my waist and the weight of his solid body pressing down on my stomach, making it painful to breathe as he pinned me to the ground by my arms.

All pain dispelling itself from my mind, I began to panic. Was I going to die? Or if it didn’t get that far, would I be bitten and turned into a Werewolf like Greyback. Why else would I have been brought here? I knew that it must be punishment for me refusing to side with Voldemort.

Greyback sneered at me, his fanged teeth bared in a sinister grin as his instincts sensed my fear, and he ran his sharp fingernails down the side of my face, relishing in it. I trembled under his touch as he continued moving his fingers down to trace the scars on my neck that he had left there the first time we met.

“Well, aren’t these pretty,” He leant down to breathe in my ear, his breath warm and sour as it ran across my face. It was then that I realised that I had been holding my own breath, not daring to make any small movement. The only sounds were the wind howling in my ears and the sound of my heart pounding furiously in my chest, beating the words “danger, danger” against my rib cage.

I thought of Sirius, and what he had told me about Greyback – that he was a Werewolf. That one thought terrified me more than any other. Werewolves were wild creatures – they viciously held no regard for human life. And here I was, at the mercy of the worst one of the bloodthirsty creatures.

I thought about reaching for my wand to blast Greyback off of me, but remembered that it would still be lying untouched underneath my pillow where I had put it before I went to sleep.

“Back off, Greyback. You’ll have your chance,” The low voice of another man echoed somewhere nearby.

Greyback lifted his weight off of me and at once I was able to breathe a little easier. I watched while he skulked back into the shadows before I managed to push myself, rather unsteadily, into a sitting position.

I closed my eyes tight and attempted to Apparate – but with no luck. I tried again and again but each time failed to move. I could physically feel some kind of invisible barrier weighing down on me, preventing me from going anywhere.

I studied my surroundings, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I found that I was indeed, surrounded by a close circle of trees in a small clearing. My first guess was that I was somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. Somehow, the clearing looked vaguely familiar to me. I felt as if I had been here before, though I couldn’t recall when.

A small light appeared in front of me – radiating from the tip of a wand, startling me as it illuminated its owners face.

“We missed you in Hogsmeade,” Emelio Travers spoke – his voice low and welcoming, as if he was conversing with an old friend “You really should have stuck around – It would have saved me a lot of trouble.”

“What are you talking about?” I questioned, eyeing the dark-skinned man warily as I attempted to stumble to my feet. It was then that I realised that Greyback and Travers weren’t the only ones with us in the clearing. Behind Travers, all cloaked in dark hoods that pulled down over their faces, were about a dozen other people. I could only assume that these were other Death Eaters, and that more than a few of them were my old friends.

“You see, the Dark Lord has ordered for your death,” Travers replied unpleasantly – his demeanour shifting from falsely pleasant to downright irritated as he let out a cynical laugh “Unless, and this is the good part, you join with us in his rebellion.”

I narrowed my eyes at the man, not moving an inch as he stood in front of me – staring down at me through eyes that were black as night.

Travers surveyed me, searching for an answer. I merely shook my head defiantly in response, which didn’t seem to please him much as he scowled while raising his wand, and with a small flick my body convulsed and I screamed in agony at the feeling of my skin being scorched with fire and my insides being pulled in every which direction.

It lasted only a few seconds, and when it stopped I fell to a heap on the damp ground below me, gasping for breath and trying to recollect my thoughts.

Dry leaves crunched under Travers heavy boots as he knelt down beside me, and I whimpered lowly as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged my head back roughly so I was forced to look up into his menacing eyes.

“You’ve caused me more than enough trouble, girl.” He spat, pushing me by my head so that I fell back once again. I took in a deep breath – If he was going to kill me, there was nothing I could do about it. I thought briefly about my sister, Serenity, and about my parents. How I would die never having the chance to reconcile with them.

Travers stood, offering a cold, calculating smile “Your father is a Healer at St Mungo’s Hospital,” he said, as if reading my mind.

“You already knew that,” I answered him, trying to steady my trembling voice.

Travers lifted a single finger to interrupt me “But what I did not know when we first met is that he’s not just any ordinary Healer, is he?” he posed the sentence as a question, but I knew that he already knew the answer.

“No, Victor Cortez is St Mungo’s Chief Healer. Healer Cortez approves and oversees every single case within the Hospital. Isn’t that right?” Travers asked, though I made no move to answer.

It was the truth, and Travers knew it. For the past seven years my father had been the Chief Healer at St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Ailments and Injuries. He was the best Healer the hospital had – and no surgery was approved nor potion administrated, nor patient discharged without his consent.

“You see, Alexandra,” Travers continued, his voice now composed “The Dark Lord was extremely unhappy after finding out this little piece of information, seeing as how you had slipped away from us and all. He believes having a man in such a position as your father supporting our cause, would be extremely beneficial.”

It was then that I realised what this was all about. If Voldemort could get my father under his thumb, then any injuries gained on his side could easily be patched up and discharged without the Ministry gaining any knowledge. Not to mention they’d have access to an endless pile of important medical supplies.

“If I had my way I would have been content with just killing you,” Travers confessed dangerously “Fortunately for you, the Dark Lord thinks I’m being too hasty. He’s thought of another use for you.”

“My father would never support him – he doesn’t believe in Pureblood supremacy.” I argued, knowing that if he had a choice in it, my dad would never willingly agree to help with this matter.

Travers let out a low chuckle “Yes – that is what I was afraid of. However, if we had, say, the daughter of the Chief on our side. Well, perhaps he could be persuaded.”

“I don’t speak to my father – he wouldn’t take the bait,” I countered stubbornly, though I knew it would be no use. If Travers was at risk of being cast down by Voldemort, then I’m sure he would do anything to get back into his good graces.

“I’ve heard differently,” Travers remarked, waving a hand for one of the cloaked figures to step forward. The Death Eater did as was commanded, removing his hood to reveal the unmistakable platinum blonde hair and cold eyes of Lucius Malfoy.

“Rumour has it that you and young Lucius here used to be rather close,” Travers taunted, and Lucius’ stony expression remained unchanged “He assures me that your estrangement from your blood-traitor family relates to incidents concerning your Mother – and that your Father would very much care about the safety of his precious, little girl.”

I gritted my teeth together, damning Lucius for bringing my family into this. He knew almost everything there was to know about us, and now it seemed that Travers would exploit this fact and use it against me.

I hesitated, fearing that what I was about to say would end with Travers using the Cruciatus Curse on me again. But as scared as I was, I couldn’t give myself up to them.

“There’s nothing you can say to make me join you,” I spoke in a whisper.

Travers didn’t look too surprised at my answer “That’s too bad – it would have made things so much easier if you had decided to join with us willingly,” He spoke, raising his hand once more so that Greyback, looking much too happy for my liking, stepped forward.

“Well, perhaps your old friend, Fenrir, can change your mind,” Travers threatened, turning to point a commanding finger at Greyback.

“I’m warning you now, dog – keep that great, ugly trap of yours closed. We don’t need any more of your kind running wild and free."

Greyback growled at Travers in response, looking very much like his fun had been spoilt. He shrugged his dark coat off from his shoulders and dropped it to the ground beside him. I took a few steps backwards as he watched me hungrily, his eyes shining fervently through the darkness.

I noticed as nearby most of the cloaked figures removed their hoods, and lit the tips of their wands to see better through the darkness. And that’s when I saw them – Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Evan, Severus, Rabastan and Regulus. They were all there, stony-faced and silent. Every one of my old friends come to watch my punishment and do nothing about it.

The moon was starting to peek above the tips of the trees surrounding the clearing, adding more light to the scene. Bright and full, it illuminated the ground below, bathing it in moonlight.

And that was when Greyback began to transform – and I understood why, out of all nights to bring me here, they had chosen this one.

I watched, my mouth open in horror as the bones of his spine began to shift and arch in such an extreme angle that he was forced to fall to the ground on all fours. Thick, grey fur began to spread along the skin of his back as his nose and mouth protruded into a long snout – his fanged teeth gnashing wildly and hungrily. His strong arms and legs changed quickly, bearing great paws with sets of deadly looking claws.

He leaped at me the second the transformation had completed – his wild, yellow eyes the only thing that bore any resemblance to the man he had been mere seconds earlier. Before he reached me I noticed a coil of rope spring from the side and wrap itself around the wolf’s snout. I guessed it must have been Travers taking extra precautions on his no biting rule. Whatever it was, Greyback was momentarily deterred by the rope and I took the chance to fling myself to the side, out of his path, and pushing myself back to my feet, continued at full sprint towards the edge of the clearing.

I thought that perhaps if I could make it past the trees I could try and find somewhere to hide myself in the darkness from the beast who was hunting me. At that moment, it was the best idea I had. I ran as fast as I could, my bare feet aching as they ran over the various sticks and debris that littered the ground. I could feel Greyback on my heels – his speed giving him a clear advantage over me.

Seconds later I made it to the edge of the clearing, only to be flung back by some sort of invisible wall. I landed on the ground at Greybacks feet, who had skidded to a halt behind me. My stomach dropped as I saw that the rope which was previously binding his mouth had been ripped through by his sharp claws. I didn’t even stop to think before I was on my feet again, dashing away from the wolf. But he was much too fast – he took a swipe at me with one of his large paws and I let out a cry of agony as his claws, as sharp as blades, pierced through the flesh of my leg.

I tried to run, but was reduced to a mere stumble as the pain from my leg shot up the length of my body. I fell to the ground, wincing as I landed on my stomach, though not hesitating for long before I began grasping around on the ground in front of me for anything that I could use in my defence.

Greyback was running again, his hulking weight shaking the ground as he took another great leap at me. My hand landed on something hard – a branch that had fallen down from a nearby tree, the tip of which was protruding sharply from where it had broken off. It was sharp enough to be used as a weapon, at least.

I turned, just as Greyback was bearing down on me, and thrust my weapon up at the wolf with as much force as I could. It pierced through his shoulder, but not before he had the chance to take another swing at me – this time his claws slashing through my thin top and the skin of my stomach.

The wolf let out a great howl of pain as scarlet drops of blood began to trickle down from his wound. My eyes brimming with tears, I curled myself up, trying to stifle the pain that was now scorching my abdomen. Dark patches of red soaked through the front of my white top, covering my hands as I pressed them against my wound to try and stop the flow.

Greyback let out another pained howl and I instantly snapped back into survival mode. The smell of blood would no doubt send him into a frenzy – but I didn’t see how I could possibly fight against him injured, and without my wand. I wiped my eyes dry and pushed myself wearily to my feet, balancing my weight on my uninjured leg.

The creature was balancing on his hind legs, and with his powerful mouth had managed to snap off the end of the branch that had been protruding from his shoulder. However, the tip was still lodged in his flesh – the dark blood surrounding it matting his fur. He dropped down onto all fours, visibly wincing as his injured shoulder took the weight of the fall. He sniffed the air – once, and then twice – and his large ears perked as he searched for the source of blood.

Greyback fixed his hungry eyes on me – his mouth open, baring his killer teeth – and I knew that if he could get his claws into me again that this time he would bite. Travers could clearly not control the animal – he stood to the side, watching the battle calculatingly, as if he had resigned himself to letting the beast take me and was planning his next excuse to Voldemort.

The wolf was pacing slowly around the edge of the clearing opposite me, eager to pounce, yet a little wary after I had proved I wasn’t completely defenceless. I searched the ground around me, still bent and clutching my stomach in pain, for anything that might help me again. But I couldn’t see anything through the darkness but crumpled leaves and twigs, both of which wouldn’t help me much against a Werewolf.

The group of Voldemorts servants were still watching the fight, silently, their eyes darting back and forth between Greyback and myself, not knowing what would happen next. There were a few older wizards I didn’t recognise. Bellatrix, the only Witch present other than myself, was watching me with a look of pure resentment – as if in her mind, this was exactly what I deserved.

I glanced over the rest of my fellow House mates, briefly, knowing that none of them would help me now, even if they wanted to. With Travers and the other Death Eaters there, it was too big a risk. I understood that, though it didn’t help me feel any less bitter towards them.

And then something caught my eye, and a small glimmer of hope lit up within me because a few feet from where the Death Eaters where standing, laying amongst an ordinary pile of twigs, was a wand. I chanced a quick look in Greybacks direction – who was still pacing back and forth, whether determining his next move, or waiting for mine, I didn’t know.

The wand was lying closer to me than Greyback. He was much faster than me, I knew that – but getting to that wand was the only chance I had of surviving him. I waited until his back had turned the opposite way before I moved. Greyback had lurched in the same direction almost immediately, his mouth curled into a deadly snarl – he was ready to bite. I took a painful dive to the ground, seizing the wand and instantly feeling the power of it running through me.

It was my wand – I knew simply from the way that it felt in my hand that it was mine. But how it had gotten here baffled me. I was sure that it would be lying under my pillow where I had left it.

Before I had the chance to defend myself, Greyback had launched himself on to me, throwing me to the ground with his weight. I struggled beneath him – his powerful paws had me pinned down by my shoulders, my wand lay uselessly in my hand at my side.

Greyback snarled down at me – streams of hot saliva dripping down over his fangs. I gagged at the overpowering smell of blood and sweat that radiated off of him. His threw back his head, preparing to attack, and I knew that I had only seconds to think of some way to save myself.

I couldn’t move my arms, but my legs were very much free. With all the force I could, I kicked my foot up into the wolfs soft belly, winding him for the briefest of moments so that his hold on me relaxed slightly and I managed to raise my wand arm and shout “Sectemsempra!”

The most powerful spell I knew – taught to me by one standing in the clearing himself – struck Greyback across the chest and he recoiled, whimpering.

“Where the bloody hell did she get that wand!” Travers was shouting furiously in the distance at the other Death Eaters who all looked as utterly perplexed as he was at the appearance of my wand. But right then I didn’t care so much exactly where the wand had come from, I was just grateful enough having it in my possession.

Greyback was on his feet again, poised and ready to strike. I held my wand tightly – confident now that I could bring the beast down. He stalked towards me slowly, his injuries visibly affecting his speed. From the corner of my eye I could see Travers lifting his wand at me and without thinking I turned to cast a shield charm to deflect his unseen curse.

In an instant I was hit by Greybacks weight – the air was knocked out of me as I was thrown to the ground under him. Before I could raise my wand to fight back, I heard a loud howl, this one strangely not emitted from the grey wolf on top of me.

Greybacks ears perked up for an instant until a streak of brown fur flew past me, knocking Greyback to the ground. I sat up, my eyes becoming blurry and unfocused as I strained to see what was going on. I could see now that the brown blur had been another wolf, which was now locked in a vicious battle with Greyback, the two of them clawing and biting one another. The brown wolf was much smaller, and the shape of Greybacks body looked grossly distorted compared to it.

My head began to spin as I watched the animals – a kind of drowsiness taking over. I looked down at my body. Most of my lower half looked like it had been bathed in blood. The top I was wearing, once white, was now covered in red and brown splotches and the length of the left leg of my pyjama pants was wet and sticky – the thick red liquid running down over my foot.

All of a sudden, I felt the barrier which had been bearing down on me earlier lift, and a series of new voices seemed to enter the clearing – yelling and shouting. I held my head in my hands for a moment, trying to refocus my vision. When I looked up again I thought that I could vaguely make out the shape of Professor Slughorn in the distance. I thought I must be a bit delirious from the blood loss – what would my Potions Professor be doing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest?

A flash of green light whizzed past me and I desperately tried to keep my eyes open to make out what was going on. I had no idea if I was still in danger or not. All I knew was that the spinning of my head was making me feel increasingly nauseas.

I tried to push myself to my feet, still grasping my wand in my hand as if it was my lifeboat, but I fell back down at once. I could hear a voice which I could have sworn belonged to Professor McGonagall shout “What on earth are you doing here, Potter?” and the animated reply “The same thing as you, Professor!”

I felt weak – I began to shiver violently as the adrenaline started to leave my system. In a haze I could make out figures running back and forth in front of me, and then a distressed voice beside me.

“Alex! Merlin, what have they done…”

“Sirius…” I breathed, barely having the strength to even speak his name. But I knew it was him. He had come – and I knew now that I was safe.

Sirius knelt down beside me, his dark hair in disarray, and gently took me in his arms to lay me down on the ground.

“I’m here, sweetheart,” He answered, his voice laced with anxiousness. I winced and let out a low whimper as I felt something soft being pressed against the wound on my stomach, and looked down to see he had taken his sweater off to stem the blood flow.

“It’s okay – I’ve got you,” He shushed me, running his hand over my forehead before turning and shouting shakily “Professor Dumbledore! I need help over here.”

I let my eyes close – I felt so drowsy, so weak…

“Alex, don’t close your eyes,” Sirius’ voice drifted down to me unsteadily “Look at me.”

Sirius’ hand was on my shoulder, shaking me gently and though I didn’t want to, I forced myself to open my eyes. The picture above me was blurry, but I could make out the worry in Sirius own grey eyes. Maybe I was dying – I had lost so much blood, I felt like slipping into a deep sleep and never waking up.

“Where else does it hurt?” Sirius asked as a flash of purple robes appeared on the other side of me, and a pair of quick hands removed the padding from my stomach to study the wound.

“My leg,” I answered quietly, recognising the sapphire gaze of Professor Dumbledore who, still wearing his nightcap, pressed the sweater back against my stomach, instructing Sirius to hold it there while he rolled up the bottom of my pants to assess my leg.

“These wounds are much too severe for Margo to heal,” Dumbledore spoke, his voice low and steady “We must move quickly to get Alexandra to St Mungo’s – I’m afraid time is not our friend tonight.”


	26. I'm Still Breathing

I could hear voices. Sometimes they sounded distant – hushed and quiet, like a whisper – and sometimes they were close, as if someone was standing right beside me. But I wasn’t standing – though I knew I was still moving.

I felt kind of numb – like my mind was trying to detach itself from my body. I tried to open my eyes – managing to part my eyelids once or twice, only to be blinded by an incredibly dizzying light. But my eyes felt so heavy, and after a while I had to give up trying. So instead, I listened to the voices.

“… lost so much blood…”

“…don’t know… heal…”

“…we have to try…”

I could only pick up fragments of the conversation, but the last voice I recognised. I hadn’t heard it in over a year, but I was sure that I knew who it belonged to.

“Dad?” I breathed, my voice so quiet I could hardly believe that anyone had heard it. 

I felt the faintest sensation of someone taking my hand into their own – firm and strong, I tried to focus my mind on that one voice.

“I’m here, Ally,” The voice spoke again, and this time I knew for sure that it was my father “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Comforted by his voice, I let my mind fall into darkness once again.

***

The next time I woke, it was to silence. My eyes flew open and fixed themselves on the roof above me, where there were luminous clusters of glowing orbs bathing the walls of the room in an eerie blue light.

I was confused – I didn’t know where I was. I was lying in a bed, which seemed comfortable and warm, though my head was aching horribly, my face hurt all over and there was a dull pain throbbing in both my leg and my stomach. And then I remembered the attack – Greyback transforming under the light of the full moon. His yellow eyes hungry and ready to strike as he fixed them on me…

I let out a shudder, and then heard something rustle beside me. In an instant someone was hovering above me.

“Ally? Oh Merlin, you’re awake,” It was Serenity – she spoke breathlessly, her pale-blue eyes anxious, yet relieved all at the same time. She turned her head to yell “Morrigan! Get in here, quick!” before turning back to me.

“Where am I?” I questioned my sister, whose dark, shoulder-length hair looked like it hadn’t been styled in a week. A slim, blonde woman, dressed in lime green robes, bustled into the room, holding a wooden clipboard.

“St. Mungo’s,” Serenity answered, looking awfully hesitant at being ushered aside by the woman in green “They bought you here after the attack.”

I didn’t get to ask anything else as the blonde woman had appeared above me, smiling pleasantly.

“Alex, sweetie, how are you feeling?” She asked, taking her wand and shining the lit-up tip of it into each of my eyes. I merely grimaced instead of giving her an answer. A second later, she was propping up the end of the bed so that I was elevated enough to look around the room.

It was small – and rather dark and dingy looking. There was a curtain pulled across a small window on one wall, blocking out any potential light, so I couldn’t tell what time of the day it was.

Two chairs sat beside the bed on one side – one of which Serenity was perched on the end of, dressed in a shabby, navy-blue tracksuit and completely make-up free. This shocked me, of course, because my sister was rarely seen in such a state.

Next to her was a small table which on top of was a vase of yellow tulips, an opened soda can, a half-eaten chocolate frog and a strewn copy of Charmed magazine. The table also held a small lamp, which besides the orbs glowing on the roof, was the only other source of light in the room.

“I suppose you don’t remember me? It has been a while since I’ve seen you, Ally,” The blonde woman said as she pulled a small vial of clear liquid from the pocket of her robes.

I glanced at the woman again – she looked older since I had last seen her, but I hadn’t forgotten “I remember you, Morrigan.”

Morrigan Smythe had been my father’s trainee Healer when he was the Healer-in-Charge of the Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites – and by the looks of the badge she wore pinned to the front of her robes, she was the one in charge now.

Morrigan smiled, glad to hear it, before offering me the vial “This will help with the pain – it’s been a little difficult to administer potions to you while you were asleep – and Merlin only knows how many Blood Replenishing potions we had to give you to get you back into a stable condition,” she said with a grimace “But now you can start taking these elixirs to manage the pain.”

I swallowed the contents of the vial gratefully, letting Morrigan fuss herself with straightening my bedcovers as the throbbing pain dissipated from my body.

“How long have I been in here for?” I asked her, handing over the empty vial and pushing myself up a little straighter in the bed.

Morrigan held a finger to her lip in thought “It’s Friday today – and you were bought here in the early hours of Monday morning. Gave us all a right scare you did – especially your poor, old Dad,” she added with a small smirk, and then nodded her head in Serenity’s direction “You’re lucky to have such a devoted sister – she hasn’t left your bedside this entire time.”

I glanced at Serenity who had picked up her magazine to hold in front of her face –rifling through the pages and pretending not to listen to Morrigan.

“I’ll go and fetch your father – I’m sure he’ll want to know you’re awake,” Morrigan said, giving me a small pat on the hand before leaving the room. I could hear the clip-clop of her shoes increase significantly as she disappeared through the open doorway.

Serenity watched Morrigan go before she put the magazine back down onto the table and began, instead, to inspect her chipped nail polish.

“I’ll admit I’m surprised to see you here,” I confessed, raising my eyebrows at Serenity inquisitively. I had rather thought that she would be the first person to say that I had deserved what I had gotten for mixing myself up with Voldemorts followers in the first place.

She stood, frowning a little as she moved to sit on the bed beside me and glanced at me through eyes that were identical to my own “You’re my sister, Ally – how could I not be here.”

I grimaced as I thought about the nickname that now reminded me so much of my old friend, Rodolphus. Rodolphus, who had stood aside and watched the Werewolf, Greyback, as he exacted Voldemorts revenge on me. Rodolphus, Bellatrix, Evan – and everyone else that I had ever cared about.

I watched my sister – finding myself wondering what I would have done had the situation been reversed. If she was in my place, would I be the one who had never left her bedside? The two of us had been so close before Hogwarts – before we had been sorted into the rival Houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin, and ultimately gone our own way. Things had certainly changed since then.

“And they just let you take time off school to be here?” I asked curiously, knowing how important this year was with NEWTs and everything coming up. At this point of the year, if a student so much as skipped one class the Professor was more than likely to have some kind of mental spasm.

Serenity shrugged, shifting a little on the bed “Dumbledore said I could take as much time as I needed. He said that he understands the importance of family.”

I nodded, wondering why Dumbledore would say something like that as he had never given any inclination that he even had any kind of family. 

“You know, when Professor McGonagall woke me and told me that you had been taken to St Mungo’s – I just knew that it had something to do with those Death Eaters. Sirius told me about that day in Hogsmeade. About how you refused them, and that they were on your tail after that. It surprised me – I had thought that you were, I dunno – “lost to the dark side”” She confessed – using finger quotations for emphasis.

“Having to face that Werewolf must have been a nightmare,” She added in a small voice.

“You have no idea,” I answered, jerking my head towards the door at the sound of heavy footsteps.

There was my father, Victor Cortez, Chief Healer of St Mungo’s Hospital. I suppose you could categorise my father as tall, dark and handsome. He was dressed in white robes, and wore a pair of square spectacles on the bridge of his nose, in front of sharp, brown eyes. His hair was jet-black, and slicked back off of his face in a well-groomed manner.

He inclined his head at the pair of us as he entered, his dark moustache twitching above his lip. Serenity left the bed and sat back in one of the chairs to allow him access to me. I noticed that he was holding the same clipboard that Morrigan had had when she was in here earlier. He gave it a brief glimpse over before clearing his throat.

“Healer Smythe has informed me that you have taken an elixir for your pain. How is it working?” He asked me levelly, and I raised my eyebrows at his professional tone. Something about him, though I couldn’t quite tell what it was, seemed off.

“It’s, uh… it’s fine. I mean, it’s working fine,” I answered, and he nodded gruffly in response.

“That’s good to hear.” he answered, making a note on the clipboard with what looked to be a miniature quill, before putting it into a holder at the foot of my bed. He then took out his wand from a pocket in his robes, and began to circle each of his hands with the tip, so that a kind of glowing force surrounded them. I knew from my many visits to the hospital when I was a kid, that this was simply a hygiene procedure.

“I’m going to check your wounds, if you don’t mind,” he said, still in his business-like tone. He went to lift the blanket off of my leg before I interrupted him swiftly.

“Is… is there something wrong? I mean, aside from the obvious” I spoke firmly, and he hesitated – for the first time looking me in the eyes “It’s just that you’re acting kind of… strange.” 

He didn’t answer straight away. Instead, he shook his hands so that the force fields disappeared, and sat on the edge of my bed, letting out a low sigh, and running his thumb over his moustache – a habit that I knew he had when he was thinking of the right words to say.

“Ally – you have no idea how it feels for a parent to see their child get hurt, and know that they didn’t do everything that they possibly could to prevent it,” He started slowly, his dark eyes searching my face. He looked tired – I noticed that his face was lined in places that it hadn’t been when I had seen him last.

“I fear that I have failed you as a protector,” He spoke, his voice hoarse, and my heart sunk as I realised for the first time that he blamed himself for the fact that I had gotten hurt.

I shook my head adamantly “Dad, it’s not your fault. You haven’t failed me as anything,” I assured him, knowing that it was my own stupidity that had gotten me into a lot of the bad situations I had found myself in this year.

He reached out to take one of my hands in his own, fixing his gaze on me determinedly “The night that you left us, Ally, your Mother begged me to bring you home right away. I told her that forcing you to come home was no good – that you were upset, and that you needed the time away from us to discover a few things for yourself.”

“I knew that, although your friends were highly influenced by the views of their parents, they genuinely cared for you. And I had faith that you would make the right decisions.”

He paused for a moment, glancing briefly at Serenity before speaking “I didn’t fully understand then the threat that this dark wizard, Voldemort, might pose. I had thought, foolishly, that you would be safe at Hogwarts. But it seems that no place is safe now.”

I hesitated a little “I don’t think it’s Hogwarts that’s the problem,” I started, and my father looked at me curiously “One of the Death Eaters, Travers, had said that Voldemort was trying to use me to get to you – to get you to join with them. He said that having the Chief Healer of St Mungo’s on their side would be beneficial.”

He broke off into thought for a moment, before pushing himself to his feet, attempting a little more cheery tone “Well, there’s no need to worry about me running off and becoming a Death Eater now, is there?”

I shrugged a little, watching as he waved his wand around his hands once more. In my head, there was everything to worry about these days.

“Wounds from Werewolves are difficult to treat, because they are cursed,” He spoke like a lecturer, lifting the covers off of me. I could see then that I was dressed in a pale, green hospital gown, and that my left leg was wrapped tight with bandages – from my thigh down to my calf.

“We managed to counter most of the blood you had lost with potions – but potions, as well as magic, unfortunately had little effect on the healing process of the scars,” He continued, using his wand to elevate my leg and begin to unravel the bandages.

Once my leg was fully revealed, I couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of it. The outer side of it was covered in ugly, raised scars, which ran from the side of my thigh down and around to just below the back of my knee. I could feel the burn of angry tears stinging at my eyes as I looked at it.

“The one on your stomach is much the same,” My father began, sympathetically “You’re lucky that it didn’t pierce through any internal organs, really. But I’m afraid there’s not a lot more that I can do to improve the physical look of it. Like I said, Werewolf scars are difficult-“

“It’s fine, Dad,” I interjected, fighting back the tears and forcing a smile. I knew that he would have already done everything that he could, and I didn’t want him to feel burdened by the thought that maybe he didn’t do enough. “It’s fine – I’m sure I can live with it.”

He nodded, looking a little more relieved, and I guessed that he thought I might have had a different reaction. But really, I knew I should just be happy to be alive.

“There may be a little bit of pain when you start to walk on it again. But, if you continue taking the elixirs Healer Smythe has made up for you, for a couple of weeks, there shouldn’t be a problem. After a while you should find that the pain disappears entirely.” 

I nodded my head in understanding – thankful at least that the pain wouldn’t be a lingering problem.

“Serenity’s been filling me in on a few things,” He continued, his voice serious “It seems that this isn’t the only time that you’ve had the misfortune of running into a Werewolf – especially if those marks on your neck there are any indication.”

I let out a shaky breath, glancing sideways at Serenity “The other time was my fault. Believe me – I won’t be making the same mistake again.”

“I don’t know exactly what happened the night you were attacked, Ally. The Ministry is undertaking a formal investigation into it,” My father spoke, still looking concerned “I just wonder if sending you back to Hogwarts is the right thing to do. Not just for you, but for your sister as well. How do I know that something like this won’t happen again?”

“It won’t,” I promised him, rather emptily. I myself didn’t know what would happen if I went back to Hogwarts – but if I didn’t go back there, then what else was I supposed to do? I certainly wasn’t going to mope around the house with my parents and the House Elves for the rest of my life.

After a little convincing, and a solid belief that sitting our NEWTs would be essential for our future, my father decided that Serenity and I would return to Hogwarts on Sunday – after making it quite clear that he would be having a stern word with his old friend “Albus” and on the condition that we wrote to him and my mother at least once a week. 

My mother, I was told, had even come into St Mungo’s earlier in the week to see me. Not that I had any awareness of it, of course. But this did come as a great shock to me as she, for some bizarre reason – had an absolute fear of hospitals. I literally don’t think she had stepped foot inside its doors since the day Serenity and I had been born.

As for my wounds, there was nothing more that could be done for them at St Mungo’s. Madame Mellick, my father assured me, would be able to handle it from this stage on. I didn’t say it out loud – but I was really glad to be working towards repairing my relationship with my father, at least.

***

Finally the day for me to return to Hogwarts had arrived and I was seated on the edge of the bed, holding a wooden crutch under one arm. Serenity had helped me to pack my things and had gone to say goodbye to a few of the Healers before we were ready to leave for home. I sighed, standing up and throwing down the crutch that I was supposed to be using on the bed, next to an open letter from Professor Dumbledore that I had previously been reading through.

In his letter, Dumbledore had asked for me to meet with him in his office when I returned to Hogwarts that evening, and informed me that I would be asked to give a statement of events to a member of the Ministry – something I was certainly not looking forward too.

I took a few steps – it didn’t seem too difficult to walk on my injured leg. Thanks to the elixirs that I had been taking, the pain was almost non-existent. 

Being stuck in St Mungo’s, however, was as utterly dull and boring as ever. I had received letters from a few of my friends back at Hogwarts during the week – but since I was unconscious for most of it, I didn’t see the point in writing back at this stage. I had barely been awake two days and already I found myself itching to leave the place.

I went over to the window, pulling aside the curtain and opening it an inch to feel the cool wind breeze across my face – a welcome change from the stuffiness of the old room. My room was on the second story of the building, and the only thing I could see outside the window was an old, dingy alley, containing a few trash cans and a couple of old, broken mannequins. I watched as a stray cat prowled through the contents of a tipped over trash can, searching for food scraps.

I picked up the remains of the bacon that I had been brought for breakfast, but hadn’t been hungry enough to eat, and tossed them out the window to the cat. I smiled as he gobbled them up hungrily, and then meowed up at me for more.

“You know, I’m pretty sure they won’t mind if you don’t eat the food – you don’t have to biff it out the window to hide the evidence,” I was startled by a sarcastic drawl – I hadn’t heard anyone enter the room. 

I turned around too fast and my injured leg unexpectedly gave way from under me. I clutched the side of the metal trolley which held my breakfast tray to stop myself from falling to the ground. A strong hand was on my arm within moments, keeping me balanced, and I found myself staring into the striking grey eyes of Sirius Black.

“Sorry – I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologised quickly, putting down the black helmet he was holding and gently guiding me back to the bed, which I sat on the edge of, clutching the wound on my stomach protectively.

“It’s okay,” I answered, looking at him confused. He was wearing what looked to be a leather motorcycle jacket. His dark hair was an adorable, tousled mess. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked, straightening out my injured leg in front of me. My stomach had gone into a series of crazed butterflies – I hadn’t exactly been expecting Sirius Black to show up in my hospital room, that’s for sure.

He shrugged casually “I wanted to see you. Dumbledore’s been busy with an investigation from the Ministry this week – so I haven’t been able to get much information out of him about you.”

He leant back against the wall next to the window, and folded his arms across his chest – his long hair falling into his eyes effortlessly. I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked when he wasn’t actually scowling at me.

I eyed the helmet that he had put down when he had entered the room – it was black, and shiny, with a clear visor on the front of it.

“How exactly did you get here?” I asked him, frowning slightly, as I didn’t suspect that the Floo Network was dangerous enough for anyone to need a helmet while using it.

Sirius shrugged innocently in response, offering a roguish grin and tapping the helmet “My bike, of course.”

I raised my eyebrows at him incredulously “You mean a motorbike?”

He let out a short bark of laughter “Can you really picture me riding around the streets of London on a bicycle? Yes, Alex – I mean a motorbike.”

“So Dumbledore gave you permission to come here?” I asked curiously, and he shook his head – his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Not exactly,” He answered mysteriously, pushing himself off of the wall and stretching his arms behind his head as he paced around nonchalantly “I snuck away during the trip to Hogsmeade today. The barmaid at the Broomsticks lets me keep my bike in the shed behind the pub. I suspect she might have a bit of a crush on me.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course the barmaid had a crush on him – he’d probably pulled out all the stops just to charm her enough to let him store his bike at her bar.

“I had to see you,” Sirius continued, his voice softening considerably “You gave me a hell of a scare, you know. I needed to know that you were alright.”

“If you call having a disfigured body alright, then yeah, Sirius – I’m just peachy” I answered coldly – and to my surprise, he grinned.

“What are you smiling at?” I asked impatiently – not particularly finding anything funny about being attacked by a Werewolf.

“Nothing,” Sirius let his eyes drop, attempting to stifle his grin “I just… I like the way you say my name.”

I hesitated, replaying my words in my mind “Oh – I… I didn’t realise…” I stuttered, before another thought pushed its way into my mind “Tell me something. Why exactly were you in the Forbidden Forest that night?”

Sirius didn’t say anything straight away – he let his arms drop, his forehead creasing in a slight frown, as if he was determining how he should answer. 

“C’mon, Sirius. I know you weren’t with the Professors. They would never let a student go into the Forest at night.”

“I, uh… had snuck out to Hogsmeade that night,” Sirius threw out casually, still not meeting my gaze “I felt like going to the Broomsticks for a drink or two, and I heard the howling.”

I raised my eyebrows – there was something in me that didn’t quite believe that what he was telling me was true “So you went out by yourself?” I questioned, and Sirius shrugged his shoulders, finally turning to watch me through stormy eyes.

“Yeah – by myself. I was looking for a little time alone.”

I scoffed in response “Don’t lie to me, Sirius – I know Potter was with you. I heard him in the Forest.”

Sirius ignored me – instead picking up Serenity’s copy of Charmed off of the small table, before sitting in one of the armchairs and flipping through its glossy pages nonchalantly.

“Sirius…” I pressed – knowing that he was trying to avoid the conversation.

He halted at one of the pages, eyeing the contents with amusement “Oh, look here – 7 Beauty Spells That No Witch Should Live Without. Eyelash Extension charm huh? Interesting…”

My eyes narrowed into blue slits. I wasn’t taking the bait – there was no way that I was going to let him change the topic. Especially not to something so vain as Beauty Spells.

Sirius looked up at me – sighing exasperatedly before tossing the magazine back onto the table “Merlin – that bloody glare of yours is torture. Yes – James was with me, but that’s really all I can tell you, Alex.”

I huffed in frustration and Sirius stood, moving to lay his hands on either side of my arms “I want to tell you – I really do. But it’s not my secret to tell.”

“Oh, so it’s a secret?” I questioned him doubtfully, and he shook his head in amusement.

“You just don’t give up, do you?” He smiled, taking a seat next to me on the bed. I froze a little as his weight shifted the mattress – his knee brushed against mine slightly and I could feel the torrent of butterflies rising higher in my stomach.

“I’m just trying to piece together what actually happened that night, that’s all,” I said with a weary sigh. I had gone over the event over and over again in my head – and there was still so much about it that just didn’t fit.

“Yeah, I know,” Sirius answered – his amusement softening into understanding “When I heard the howling, I knew… I knew that it was Greyback. I thought that he was going to kill you, and… I have to tell you that the thought of that terrified me.”

“I would’ve thought that you’d think that I deserved it,” I interjected quietly, swallowing the nervous lump that was forming in my throat as Sirius’s eyes met mine.

“I could never think that, Alex,” He confessed, moving his fingers up to the side of my face “I know that things haven’t always been easy between us, but… when I’m around you, I feel like a completely different person. I feel… I don’t know. Protective.”

I let out a shaky breath as his fingertips moved across my skin, sending shivers down my spine. And it was then that a memory flashed through my mind, vivid and bright. Yellow eyes and dirty claws running down the length of my skin, hungry for the kill.

I drew back at once, disturbed by the image, and Sirius dropped his hand, frowning.

“I’m sorry,” He spoke lowly, misinterpreting my actions.

“No… It’s not you,” I spoke quickly, faltering slightly as I tried to dispel the image of Greyback from my mind “It was just a memory from that night, of Greyback… I just…”

“He’s a monster,” Sirius spoke venomously, using his hand to tilt my chin so that I was looking into his stormy eyes “He’ll get what he deserves – the Ministry’s Aurors are hunting him down as we speak.”

I sighed lowly, glad to hear that at least the Ministry were on his trail. But I still would never feel completely safe until he was caught – not after the way he had looked at me. He was out for my blood, I was sure of it.

Sirius ran his hand down my arm comfortingly, before moving it to my waist. Instinctively, I shot my arm across the wound on my stomach, feeling awfully insecure.

“Can I see the scars?” He asked softly, moving his fingers down to the hem of my sweater. I pushed his hands away unsurely.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I whispered shakily – my mind growing steadily more foggy under his touch.

“Alex, you know you can trust me,” He spoke softly into my ear and I found myself letting him lift the bottom of my sweater up so that the bandages that were wound around my stomach were exposed. I held my top up, not wanting to expose too much, as he found the edge of the Expandable Bandage and began to unwind it – tickling the skin of my neck with his breath as he leaned closer to reach behind me.

I could sense his eyes on me as he unravelled the last of the bandage – watching to make sure that I was still alright with what he was doing. I didn’t dare meet his gaze – and as the last of the material was removed I heard him exhale sharply.

Red, and raw – the flesh of my stomach had not quite joined back together, so that it looked like deep gashes in my body. Injuries from Werewolves were difficult, my father had said. Magic and potions have little effect on the way that they heal – not that they ever would heal, completely.

Sirius frowned as he studied the scars and I inhaled shakily as he ran his fingers over the skin surrounding them, sending electric chills through my body.

“I know – they’re hideous,” I spoke in anguish, feeling the angry tears begin to burn at my eyes again. I was ashamed of the way that I looked – and furious at what Greyback had done to me.

Sirius met my eyes with his own – shaking his head adamantly “There is nothing hideous about you.” he breathed – wiping away a stray tear that had fallen onto my cheek with his thumb.

And with that, he leaned forward ever so slowly, and I could feel his warm breath tingling against my lips. He reached his hand up to the side of my face, and I let my eyes flitter close as his lips met mine gently – sending a shiver of desire through me.

Until I heard the distinct sound of footsteps on the polished floor and I pulled away as quick as I could, turning to find the pissed off stare of Serenity, who was standing in the doorway with her slim arms folded across her chest.

“We’re leaving, Ally. Now” She snapped, and I raised my eyebrows at her as a subtle hint to leave. She, however, refused to budge, and I couldn’t help but let out a low sigh – I knew how Serenity felt about Sirius – she would without a doubt be furious with me for this. 

“I guess that’s my cue to leave,” Sirius interrupted breathily, his eyes flickering over me “I should probably get back before any of the Professors notice I’m gone, anyway.”

I nodded in reply – immediately missing the warmth of his body as he pushed himself up from the bed and went to pick up his helmet before propping it under his arm.

“Hey, uh, would you meet me when you get back to Hogwarts tonight?” He leant back down to me and asked quietly, pushing away few strands of raven hair as they fell over his face.

I bit my bottom lip, hesitating for a moment before answering “Yeah, okay.”

“Meet me at the entrance to the dungeons at curfew,” He grinned, stepping forward to kiss my cheek before leaving.

Serenity threw him a glare as he left the room – her eyes dangerous slits of icy blue. Hesitantly, I turned to face my tyrant of a twin.

“I knew there was something going on with you two,” She hissed at me, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes in response. 

“There’s nothing – that was nothing,” I assured her, rather half-heartedly – watching as she stomped over to close the window I had left open.

“Yeah, right,” She snorted, picking up a pair of black, ballet flats off of the floor and walking over to drop them in front of me “Who does he think he is anyway, trying to come on to you. Last I heard, him and Selene were getting pretty cosy after their Quidditch practices.”

I faltered, narrowing my eyes. Selene Silver? That prissy, blonde Gryffindor Seeker?

“Are you sure about that?” I questioned Serenity, frowning as I suddenly remembered the day in Hogsmeade when Sirius said that he had been at the Broomsticks with Selene.

“Uh, yeah – I share a dormitory with her remember?” Serenity answered with a wave of her hand “And before Selene, him and Aurelianne had that fling – until he broke her heart, that is. And before that was that Hufflepuff girl, Riley Stoke,” she continued, counting on her fingers “Honestly, Ally – the list goes on.”

“What exactly are you trying to say?” I countered – getting the distinct feeling that Serenity wasn’t telling me this for my own good, but rather because she had a certain green-eyed monster within her.

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly “Just that I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

I scoffed in disbelief “And you do?”

“Yes!” Serenity shrieked at me – her blue eyes wild “I know him, Ally. What do you know about him? The two of you hated each other’s guts up until this year! Have you completely forgotten about that?”

“No, I just-“

“All the rumours you’ve ever heard about him – if they even reach your ears down in that dungeon of yours –they’re true. How do you know that you’re not just one of the many other girls on his list waiting to be ticked off?”

Serenity finished her rant, picking my bag up from the end of my bed and swinging it over her shoulder, before handing the wooden crutch to me.

“Just think about it, will you.”

I didn’t answer her – in all honestly I didn’t even want to think about it. I didn’t want to have to admit that maybe what Serenity was telling me was true. Sure, it seemed like Sirius actually cared about me, but so what? Who’s to say that next month, or even next week, that he won’t be pouring his heart out to the next girl?

All I knew for sure was that I couldn’t let another guy take advantage of me for their own amusement. No matter how I might feel about him.


	27. Falling For You

By the time Serenity and I had returned to Hogwarts, it was long past night fall. My father had thought it a bad idea for me to use the Floo Network in my current condition, so instead we had been forced to make the cross country journey by car. And let me tell you, although Wizard cars are a notably quicker way to travel then mere Muggle automobiles (Or so I’ve been told), spending several hours cramped in the back seat of one, I’m sure, is still no more pleasant.

Even more so when your twin sister is so peeved at you that she spends the entire time staring out the window moodily and ignoring everything you say. So because of this the only other person you have the delightful option of speaking to is your Father. Your Father, of course, who continues to ask you probing questions about a certain male visitor who you may have had visiting you in your hospital room earlier that day.

Yeah. So not my idea of a fun-filled, family trip.

Finally arriving on the seventh floor of Hogwarts, I walked, or rather slightly hobbled along a quiet corridor with Serenity beside me.

“You know, you should really use that crutch from the hospital.” Serenity said as she observed my obvious struggle with an unsympathetic glance.

I blinked. It was literally the first thing she had said to me in hours. “I’m fine without that ugly thing. My legs are still stiff from the car ride, that’s all.” 

This was partly true, of course, due to the whole cramped-in-the-back-seat scenario I mentioned earlier. Though the million or so stairs we’d had to climb to get to the Headmaster’s office hadn’t helped.

Serenity shrugged, but didn’t say another word.

We walked in silence after that, until we reached the lone gargoyle, still and silent, that guarded the entrance to Professor Dumbledore’s office. I hesitated – glancing up at the ominous statue before turning to my sister.

“Look,” I started, glancing at her rather impatiently. “I’m sorry about that thing with Sirius at the Hospital today-“

“Forget it.” Serenity cut me short with a wave of her hand. “I mean, there’s nothing I can do about it right? It’s obvious you’re the one that he cares about.”

I raised a single, dark eyebrow at her incredulously. She didn’t exactly sound thrilled at the idea. “Cares about? What happened to him only being nice to me to get into my pants?”

“I never said that.”

“You sure implied it.”

Serenity huffed, twirling a strand of raven hair around her slim fingers. “Maybe I was being a little harsh. But,” She dropped her hand and stared at me, very seriously, “I still think that you should be careful around him. Won’t it only make you more of a target if you two are seen getting cosy?”

I bit the end of my fingernail, thinking nervously. “I don’t know. I suppose it would.”

“Exactly – and Merlin knows you’ve been more than enough trouble already.” Serenity lectured, and I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

“You know who you sound like?” I questioned irritably. “Our mother.”

Serenity narrowed her sky-blue eyes at me. “At least one of us does,” She countered, placing her hands on her hips in a gesture that only served to confirm my point. “I don’t see her running around getting mauled by Werewolves, do I?”

I scoffed, wondering privately if that would really be such a bad thing before turning back to face the stone gargoyle. “Well, I better get up there.”

“Don’t forget that Dad asked you to write to Mum.” Serenity’s voice resounded behind me, and I rolled my eyes lazily.

Write to Mum? Maybe when hell freezes over. That was what I wanted to say. Instead, I just mumbled a barely audible. “Yeah, sure.”

“And if you need anything,” Serenity moved beside me, her voice considerably softer. “Anything. You know where to find me.”

I nodded – wondering to myself when she was going to leave already.

“I mean it, Ally.” She insisted firmly, turning to leave before throwing back over her shoulder. “Quit being so proud, would you.”

I listened to the clacking of her heels on the stone floor as she left before speaking the password to the gargoyle.

The gargoyle moved aside, giving me passage to the stairway behind it. In a few moments I found myself standing in front of a large, polished oak door. I lifted the phoenix door knocker, which made a loud racket against the old wood, and was welcomed by a call of “Come in!”

Rather hesitantly, I pushed the heavy door open and stepped into the large office where I was immediately distracted by a series of whirrs and puffs coming from various delicate looking, silver instruments within the room.

I took in my surroundings – the circular room was laden with portraits of elderly geezers, and tall bookshelves that were crammed to the ceiling with dusty, old leather bound books. Behind the claw-footed desk in the middle of the room sat the bespectacled wizard that I had come to meet – seated hunched over a roll of parchment with a large, feather quill in one hand.

He looked up as I entered, and I realised, rather sheepishly, that this was the first time I had entered this office without being in trouble for something or other.

“Miss Cortez,” Professor Dumbledore studied me from behind his half-moon spectacles, “Please, take a seat.”

I moved to the chair that Dumbledore had indicated to – feeling awfully self-conscious as he studied the limp with which I was walking. Boy, I couldn’t wait until the wound healed up enough for me to actually walk normally again.

“I must say that you seem to be making a wonderfully fast recovery, Alexandra.” Dumbledore observed as I lowered myself into the wooden chair across from him. “Though I’m sure you have your Father to thank for that. He is a rather talented Healer.”

I didn’t reply. Instead, I leaned back in the chair, trying to get comfortable as I stretched my aching leg out in front of me and made a mental note not to continue traipsing around the castle for a few days at least. My dad would have had a complete mental spasm had he known how many staircases I’d climbed today.

When I’d finally settled for a somewhat comfortable position, I glanced at Dumbledore – who had his fingertips poised together in front of his chin as he smiled at me curiously. After a moment, his smile melted into something more ominous.

“I must say, however, that I feel terribly responsible for the position you currently find yourself in.” Dumbledore confessed slowly, the look on his face grave.

I stared at him, not quite knowing what he meant by that. What was it with adults? Really, all they do is go around blaming themselves for the trouble that kids get themselves into. I certainly didn’t blame Professor Dumbledore, any more then I blamed my dad, for what had happened.

He adjusted the spectacle which sat atop his large nose before speaking again. “I don’t suppose that you’ve heard news of the disappearance of your fellow classmates.” He asked, and my breath quite visibly caught in my throat.

“Disappearance?” I echoed the word nervously, wondering who exactly he had meant by it and praying to Merlin that Regulus’ and Severus’ names wouldn’t be mentioned.

Dumbledore nodded softly. “Miss Bellatrix Black and Mr Lucius Malfoy have not, as far as we know, been seen since the night of your attack. They certainly haven’t stepped foot back in Hogwarts at any rate.”

I breathed a small breath in relief – Lucius and Bellatrix I could certainly deal with never having to see again. The image of Bellatrix’s cold gaze as she stood by that night still scorched my mind. All that we once had was shattered – she had chosen her fate, and I mine.

Dumbledore leaned forward in his large chair to speak in a low voice, “And I think you and I both know where they might have gone.”

I knew what he was talking about. Even if I hadn’t seen the glint of dread in his midnight-blue eyes I would have known that the only place they could have possibly gone is wherever their leader, Voldemort, might be. Where ever that was.

“And they’re the only ones? Who are gone, I mean.” I asked cautiously, thinking about the others who might have followed in their footsteps.

Dumbledore pushed himself up from his seat and, rather swiftly for a man of his age, came to stand in front of his large desk.

“Yes, they are the only ones.” He confirmed as he peered down at me. “The Ministry, of course, have taken this as a sign that they were involved in the attack on you the night in the Forbidden Forest.”

I faltered. “Taken it as a sign? You mean they don’t know that they were there?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“But- but you were there, Professor,” I exclaimed, rather heatedly. “Surely you must have seen them?”

Dumbledore shook his head sympathetically. “It is my belief that whoever was in that Forest that night had some kind of warning that we would be there, Alexandra. I’m afraid that the only culprit that could be identified for sure, was Fenrir Greyback, who has since disappeared.”

I exhaled sharply. How could they have known they would be there? It made no sense at all.

“However,” He continued, staring at me pointedly. “Before the Ministry can conclude their investigation into the matter, they must receive your statement. Whoever you name as being there that night will be left to the Ministry’s Aurors to be dealt with.”

I hesitated, thinking of what that might entail. I didn’t, of course, know every person who had been there – but the one’s that I did – Evan, Rodolphus, Severus, Regulus and Rabastan – could I really do that to them? I was mad – furious, even – at the fact that they had been a part of it all. But it was difficult to forget what they had once meant to me.

“When will I have to give this statement?” I asked so that I could gauge how long I had to prepare for it.

“Tuesday morning.” Dumbledore answered simply, as he leaned back against his desk and clasped his hands in front of him. He looked like there was more that he wanted to say, but didn’t quite know how to.

We sat in silence for a moment, before a thought surfaced in my mind. “Professor – how exactly did you know I was in the Forest that night?” I asked, my eyebrows raised questioningly. “I mean, how could you have known that I was all the way out there?”

“Ah, yes,” Dumbledore spoke, his voice now raising back to a normal level “,that indeed is an interesting question. Professor Slughorn, I believe, received some kind of anonymous tip-off about the whole thing.”

I blinked. An anonymous tip-off? Who could have possibly known about what was going to happen that night. Not unless it was someone who was going to be there themselves.

“From a portrait no less,” Dumbledore was still explaining. “,who was quite adamant that he had seen a group of cloaked figures carrying a young women through the dungeons and into a secret passageway.”

I gasped as slowly the pieces began to fit together. A secret passageway that led from down in the dungeons into the middle of the Forbidden Forest. The same passageway that had been discovered by Evan and Rodolphus in our third year, though back then, had been deemed useless.

“You know of it?” Dumbledore asked curiously, though all I could do was nod dumbly in reply.

“I suspect you’ll be glad to hear that it has been caved in. No-one will be getting in or out of this castle through there again.”

I let out a breath of relief – though to know that none of the Death Eaters that were there that night had been caught by the Ministry, was far from comforting.

Dumbledore must have read my mind because the next words he uttered were, “I have taken steps to greatly improve the security on Hogwarts. The dungeons, in particular, will be patrolled at all hours of the day. Alexandra – you are safe here.”

I wanted to believe him. Of course I wanted the comfort of knowing that I was safe, and that nothing was going to come after me in the night. But images of thrashing teeth and deadly claws were still very much imprinted in my mind. I couldn’t – I wouldn’t – let myself fall into a sense of security only to have it proved false.

To Dumbledore though, I nodded and smiled. I didn’t doubt that he would do his utmost to ensure the protection of the castle. Still, I wished that that knowledge would be enough for me to feel safe.

A loud rap at the door startled me, and Dumbledore called towards the door, “Just a moment!”

He turned back to me, smiling kindly. “Get a good rest tonight – and remember to come by my office on Tuesday morning, you will be dismissed from your first class of the day to do so.”

He offered an arm to help me up from my chair, which I managed with only a little struggle, and I bid him goodnight before starting over to the door. I pulled it open to leave and was met by the round, friendly face of Professor Slughorn. His eyes seemed to widen in delight as they fell on me and he offered a wide, jovial smile.

“Alexandra, my dear, how pleased I am to see you!” He exclaimed, clasping a large hand on my shoulder.

I stumbled a little under the weight, though easily righted myself and smiled at his enthusiasm. “It’s good to see you too, Professor.” I said with a nod, before adding. “I’ve just heard from Professor Dumbledore that it was you who raised the alarm of my disappearance that night. I have to tell you how grateful I am –“

“Just seeing that you’ve made it through alright is thanks enough, I assure you.” Slughorn bustled, his large moustache twitching as he spoke. “I thought that perhaps you might like to join in on a little supper I’m hosting tomorrow night? It’s just a small gathering of a few students – but I’m sure we’d all be delighted to hear of your encounter with Fenrir Greyback! It’s no easy feat, facing a Werewolf and escaping in one piece, you know.”

Professor Slughorn exclaimed vividly, until Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly from behind us and he added, more gently. “That is if you’re feeling up to it, of course.”

“I’ll try to stop by.” I assured him, and he smiled in delight to hear it before I asked. “Sir, before I go, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, of course.” Slughorn answered, though his mind looked like it was focused on something else entirely. I could only assume it was this ‘supper’ of his tomorrow night. I had heard about these gatherings before – they were what the students referred to as the “Slug Club”. Only students who have influential parents or posess some sort of special skill or talent are invited to go. I suppose that beating off a Werewolf was mine – though I can hardly say it’s anything to be proud of.

“I just wondered,” I started, “Who the portrait was that tipped you off that night?”

Slughorn ran his fingers over his moustache in thought. “I didn’t catch the fellows name – he gave me quite the start when he turned up you know, dropped my brandy glass and everything. And poor Matilda, well, she’s not used to having young lads burst into her portrait in the middle of the night, let me tell you.”

“Well, what was he wearing?” I asked impatiently, hoping that at least his attire might give me some clue as to who it was.

“He was wearing green robes.” Slughorn answered thoughtfully, “Quidditch robes if I’m not mistaken. Which I suppose would explain the broom he was holding – “

But that was all I needed to hear. I thanked Professor Slughorn and left the room in a hurry, leaving him looking after me bewilderedly.

I barrelled down the stairs, which fortunately for me was a lot easier on my leg then walking up them. I knew exactly who the portrait had been from the moment the word ‘Quidditch’ had escaped Slughorns’ mouth – none other than the insufferable prat that was Deryk Lynch.

One thing I knew for sure about Deryk Lynch was that, even though he was just a stupid portrait and probably didn’t even need sleep, he was never – never – awake at the time of the night that I must have been dragged past him. I had snuck through those corridors more than enough times to know that when he wasn’t being a complete buffoon and abusing innocent students as they passed by – he was sleeping. And it took more than a few heavy footsteps to wake that guy up.

So it didn’t make any sense how he could have tipped off Professor Slughorn. Not unless he knew that something was going to happen. But the guy had about the IQ of a Pumpkin Pasty – so I very much doubted he’d have figured anything out on his own.

Well, I suppose the only way I was going to find out, was by asking him.

When I had finally made it all the way down to the dungeons, I approached his portrait only to find it disappointingly empty. The large frame was still there, with its little plaque underneath, but Deryk was nowhere to be seen.

I let out a groan of annoyance. I had thought that I would find him fast asleep, and had every intention of waking him, but that it seemed would have to wait until morning.

So instead, I carried on towards the common room – quite ready to lie down and rest my aching leg. I stopped in front of the stone snake which marked the entrance, hesitating a little. I was sure that by now most, if not the entire school would have heard what had happened to me – and I was so not into being the centre of all the gossip right now.

I entered the common room cautiously, painfully aware of the wary stares from the few study groups that were scattered around the room, until I heard a loud screech of, “Hey, Alex! Over here!”

I searched the room for the source of the voice – inwardly cursing her for drawing even more attention to me – and saw the auburn head of Kendra Carysfort waving to me from an armchair beside the fireplace.

I edged over to her, ignoring the whispers as I passed by, and forced a smile.

“Alex, I’m so glad you’re alright!” Kendra shrieked, jumping up from her chair and throwing her arms around me in a hug. Kendra was short – about a head shorter than me – which only served to make the hug somewhat uncomfortable. She released me after a few seconds and I was immediately hit by the stench of French perfume as another pair of arms, this time belonging to a tall, leggy blonde, roped themselves around me. 

“We were so worried.” Isobel gushed as she pulled back from the hug and took my hand, patting it gently as if I was some kind of sick puppy. I noticed that for once her hair was hanging down around her shoulders, rather than tied back. It looked better this way, I thought – it didn’t make her look so old. Though, I couldn’t say the same about the string of pearls around her neck.

I pulled my hand back from Isobel and smiled at the pair of them. It wasn’t like I didn’t appreciate the concern – I just wanted nothing more in that moment than to head up to my bed where I could lie down.

“I’m alright, guys.” I assured them with a wave of my hand. “I’m just feeling really tired.”

“Do you want to sit down?” Kendra asked, offering up her armchair.

I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’m just gonna head up to bed. It’s been a long day.”

Isobel lay a hand on my arm, her blonde eyebrows knitted together in concern. “You’ll talk to us in the morning?” She asked, and I nodded in agreement.

They were my friends, after all. I supposed they would want to hear about everything that had happened to me. For now, though, that would have to wait.

I trudged up the stairs and wearily pushed open the door to my dormitory. I had just shut the heavy door behind me when I noticed a large broomstick propped up beside the doorframe – a broom that I knew belonged to no-one who slept in this dormitory. It was then that I realised that I wasn’t alone.

Warily, I scanned the room and found that Evan Rosier was sitting on my bed – waiting for me. His sandy-blonde head had jerked towards me as I entered – the lamps which lit the room casting darkened shadows across his face. 

I felt something in my chest seize up instinctively and I faltered in his presence. What if this was a trap? I had been taken from my own dormitory once before – perhaps Voldemort had sent for me to be taken again.

My eyes flickered around the corners of the room, briefly, and I could see that unless there was someone lurking in the bathroom – we were alone.

“Alex…” Evan breathed as he pushed himself up off of the bed, holding both his hands up in front of him so I could see he wasn’t holding a wand.

Still, I recoiled– feeling behind me for the cold steel of the doorknob. I didn’t feel safe around Evan. Not after that night in the Forest. Even if he had no intention of hurting me, all I needed right then was for him to leave.

“Don’t go.” Evan said quickly as he noticed my hand resting on the brass handle behind me, and I don’t know what, but something about the tone of his voice made me stop.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” I hissed coldly, narrowing my sapphire eyes at him. He took a tentative step forward and I noticed then that it wasn’t the shadows of the room that had darkened his face. He looked tired – dark circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes. They were no longer bright, or full of mischief. He looked, in fact, quite broken.

“Please, Alex, I need to talk to you.” He pleaded – his voice hoarse, and sounding more than a little weary.

When I didn’t respond he moved a little closer and I took a step back in pure synchronisation. There was no way that I was letting him anywhere near me.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” I countered at once, doubting that anything he did say could make any difference after what had happened. “Get out.” 

“No.” He countered, quite firmly this time. “Not until you understand that I had no idea that things were going to turn out that way in the Forest. None of us did”

I scoffed a little, hardly believing this story. Still, I let my hand fall from its place on the door. “So what exactly were you expecting to happen? That Greyback would just rough me up a little and then I’d be on my merry way?” I answered cynically – and by the look on Evans face I could tell that I hadn’t hit far from the mark.

“It was just supposed to be a little push,” He admitted rather sheepishly, running a large hand through his untidy hair. “Just to scare you into thinking it was safer to side with us. I swear, Alex – I had no idea that Travers knew any of that stuff about your Dad, or that he was going to let Greyback do any of that to you.”

I inhaled sharply, biting on my lower lip to steady myself before speaking, “You wanted to scare me, huh? Well bravo, Evan, you succeeded.” I spat bitterly, my fists clenching themselves in shaking balls at my side. “But I do not think it’s safer to side with you lot – and don’t think for a second that I ever will.”

Evan let out a low sigh and folded his arms across his chest in front of him. “I understand how you feel-“

“How could you?” I interrupted him furiously, “How could you possibly understand how I feel? Have you ever been attacked by a Werewolf, Evan? No, I don’t think so.”

I grew angrier with each word I spoke – my voice shaking with every syllable, “All you did was stand by and watch as Greyback was left to tear me to shreds! You didn’t do anything to help me!”

“I gave you your wand!” Evan barked at me all of a sudden, and I was taken quite by surprise as he strode the length of the room to hiss down at me. “And If I hadn’t risked my own neck to do that than you would be dead, Alex – so think very carefully before you tell me that I didn’t do anything.”

I hesitated, quite unable to speak. Evan had been the one who placed my wand there in the Forest? But I didn’t understand how he had gotten it in the first place. And why would he take the risk to do it anyway – after telling me himself that he couldn’t be there for me anymore. It just didn’t make any sense to me.

“Travers told us beforehand that if any one of us tried to step in we would be killed on the spot,” Evan explained, taking advantage of my momentary silence to speak. “I didn’t think that it would even be called for – but I snuck up here before Bellatrix came up to take you, and took your wand.”

“I had no idea how it had gotten there,” I breathed in disbelief – all anger slowly abating itself from my body. 

Evan nodded. “Neither does Travers – fortunately for me.”

I searched Evans inscrutable face, still not quite understanding. “So why did you do it? I mean, what if Travers had seen you put it there?”

Evan shrugged nonchalantly. “Then he would have had my head, I suppose. But I just couldn’t risk seeing you get hurt.”

He stepped towards me – now convinced that I wasn’t going to make a mad dash for the door – and raised a hand to the side of my face, frowning slightly, before speaking softly. “I tried so hard to forget you – to forget the way that I feel about you.”

I let out a shaky breath as he ran his hand down the side of my face before lifting my chin so that my eyes met his own blue ones. “But I couldn’t – and it tortured me.”

He smelt the same way that he always had. Clean – with just a hint of Firewhiskey. Alcohol had always been Evans one source of comfort – whether the times were difficult or not. I could feel something inside me begin to relax – like something that had been wound up so tight was starting to loosen. And I know that it sounds corny but I think it was being in the company of my old friend that was causing it to do so.

Evan dropped his face so close to mine that I could feel the warmth of his breath as he whispered. “You know I still love you, Alex – and I have a plan to keep you safe.”

I froze, frowning slightly as I looked up at him – I wasn’t too sure that I liked the sound of that. I mean, any plan involving Evan was only going to land me in more trouble, right?

“What kind of plan?”

“Marry me.” Evan answered simply, and I couldn’t help but step away from him and let out a short, disbelieving laugh.

“Are you insane? Evan, I can’t… I can’t marry you.”

“Why not?” Evan asked darkly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “There’s not someone else, is there?”

“Well, no…” I replied, though I couldn’t help but let Sirius flit through my mind briefly. “But, I mean – I’m only seventeen and I just… I couldn’t.”

“We wouldn’t have to do it until after graduation,” Evan interjected swiftly. “Alex, The Dark Lord is furious about what’s happened. He wants your family to join with him – and now that you’ve refused, he’s out for blood.”

A shiver ran down my spine as he spoke. I knew better than anyone the danger that I was in – the very thought of it was enough to keep me up at night.

“And Greyback,” Evan continued darkly “,has been banished from his ranks, which means that he’s free to do whatever he pleases, and my best bet is that he’ll be thinking of some way to get to you.” He said, hesitating for a moment. “He’s determined to turn you, Alex – if he can get his dirty claws into you, he will.”

I exhaled shakily at the thought. I knew that Greyback would still be after me – and now that he had no-one to answer to, he was even more dangerous. It didn’t matter how safe Dumbledore assured me I would be in this castle – these dark wizards were cunning and crafty and they would find a way to get to me eventually.

“So you’re saying that my only chance to survive is to join his side?” I asked, quite torn as I thought about my prospects. On one hand I’d have to fight for something that I cared nothing for – but on the other, I faced certain death.

“No.” Evan stated flatly. “There’s another way. Travers holds no sway with the Dark Lord any longer – he’s been disgraced and downcast. My father is one of the Dark Lords few favourites – and he hasn’t forgotten about you, Alex. If you agree to marry me then he will vouch for you – and so will I.”

I shook my head, confused. “I still don’t understand how that isn’t joining with Voldemort?”

Evan flinched a little at the name, but explained. “I wouldn’t expect you to take any part in it – just so long as you didn’t question my involvement. My father assures me this will be enough to console the Dark Lord. Well, that and a large amount of money donated to his cause, I expect.”

“And my family?” I asked, wondering how they could – if they could – possibly benefit from such an arrangement. “You said that he wanted all of us.”

Evan let out a sigh – his shoulders slumping a fraction. “I can’t guarantee their safety – I’m sorry, Alex. I don’t know what would happen to them.”

I turned from Evan, running a hand through the length of my hand and pacing a few steps. I couldn’t marry Evan – could I? I mean, think of all the people who would be so mad at me. Xavier, Kendra and Isobel all had Muggle family – they would never accept it. Remus would disapprove, and Sirius… Sirius would be furious. I didn’t know if I could stand that.

And my family – would they disapprove, even if it meant I could guarantee my safety? I was sick of being scared all the time – of flinching at every little noise, and being haunted by nightmarish images of dripping teeth and bloody claws. I didn’t want to live my whole life running scared.

And Evan had already saved my life – wasn’t that enough to prove that I could trust him? Even if we did decide to go through with this, it was still a big risk for him. Though it seemed like one he was all too willing to make. And even if Bellatrix and Lucius would never forgive me for the past, I would have my other friends back. Regulus, Severus, Rodolphus. Isn’t that what I had always wanted?

“Alex,” Evan pressed when I made no move to answer, “Alex, I swear I would be a good husband to you. I know that you don’t feel the same way about me that I do you, but maybe… maybe one day you will.” He declared, and as I studied the anguish in his eyes I could see just how much he wanted me to accept this – as much for his sake as for mine.

“This is the last chance I have to save you,” He spoke – his voice a soft plea as he stepped towards me, his hand outstretched for me to take. “I will keep you safe.”

I raised my hands to my head in anguish as I backed away slowly – my heart beating madly. I wanted so much to say yes and to never have to worry about Greyback or Travers or even the Dark Lord himself being a threat to me again. But every time I even thought about accepting I couldn’t stop the images of Sirius flashing through my mind.

“I just… I don’t know… I need to think about this.” I stammered incoherently – bewildered tears beginning to sting at my eyes as I ran from the room, leaving behind an equally bewildered Evan. I just couldn’t make a decision right away – there were so many factors to think about before even considering it.

I tore through the common room, amid the stares of confused students, as fast as I possibly could on my aching leg. When I reached the corridors of the dungeons a rush of cold air hit me like a block of ice and the tears that had been threatening to spill over flowed fast and heavy down my cheeks – a rush of emotions hitting me in an instant.

How could I be expected to make a decision like this, I thought as I trudged through the icy halls, when there was so much riding on either side I chose. I wanted to be safe – that was the one thing I knew for sure – but was marrying Evan the right thing to do to ensure it?

I passed the portrait of Deryk, which was still empty, wiping the tears from my face which had probably made a complete mess of my makeup. I didn’t know what time of the night it was, or where I was going exactly, I just needed to be able to think.

I pushed open the door which led into the Entrance Hall, only to be met by a raven-haired boy who stood leaning casually against a stone column protruding from the wall. I let out a series of curses in my head – I had completely forgotten I was supposed to meet with him. I tried hastily to wipe the tears away with the backs of my hands – but it was too late, he had already seen me.

In an instant he had pushed himself off the column and was at my side – the concern evident on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, taking me by the hand and leading me towards a small alcove set into the side of the large staircase, which held only a marble torch on the wall.

I sniffled a little as I followed behind him – attempting to stem the flow of tears from my swollen eyes. But the truth was that seeing Sirius there had just served to bring on a fresh new torrent of emotions.

“It’s Evan,” I explained through my tears as I leant back against the smooth marble, keeping my head well out of the way of the fire blazing above me, and felt a shiver run through my back. “He-he…”

I couldn’t say it. Oh, I tried to – but for some reason the words wouldn’t leave my mouth. How could I possibly tell Sirius what Evan had asked me – the two of them were bitter rivals. And with him standing there looking down at me so intently through eyes which, when you looked closely, held flecks of sapphire blue amidst the grey, all I could think about was how much I would give for him not to find out about what I was considering.

“Did he hurt you?” Sirius asked heatedly – his eyes boring into mine intensely. I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat as he fixed his hands on either side of my arms – his heat radiating through my thin sweater.

“No. He didn’t hurt me.” I assured him firmly and watched as the flash of anger dissipated from his eyes. And then, finally finding the will to say the words I spoke. “He asked me to marry him.”

Sirius froze and stared down at me as if he couldn’t quite believe he words that had come out of my mouth. Then, after a few moments of stunned silenced he asked in a rather tight voice.

“And you said no, right?”

I inhaled sharply – forcing myself to answer “Not exactly.”

To say that Sirius looked mad would be the understatement of the century. I could quite visibly see his jaw tighten – his teeth gritting together in anger – and hear the clicking of bones in his knuckles as he clenched his fists into tense balls at his side.

A mere moment later I could hear the clacking of footsteps on the marble staircase behind us, and I remembered that it would be past curfew by now. If we were found out of our common rooms we would find ourselves in detention for sure.

Sirius’ head perked up at the sound and he pressed himself closer into the alcove – his hands pressed against the wall on either side of me – so that we wouldn’t be seen by anyone who walked past. Unless of course they were heading towards the dungeons – in which case we were screwed.

I could feel the rise and fall of Sirius’ chest as he took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. I tried not to look at him – it was bad enough that the way his body was pressed against mine was beginning to make me feel incredibly flustered. I settled instead for chewing on my bottom lip nervously and staring at the wall beside me.

When the sound of footsteps reached the bottom of the staircase and thankfully echoed in the opposite direction, I let out a breath of relief. Sirius, however, remained where he was – and after a few awkward moments, I lifted my eyes to gaze up at him.

“Merlin, Alex.” He bent down a little to breathe quietly – his voice coming out warm and ragged against my cheek. “Don’t tell me you said yes.”

“I didn’t say anything,” I answered shakily as small tingles ran down through my body. “I couldn’t… I just, I don’t know.”

Sirius dropped one of his hands from the wall and stroked my hair gently. “You don’t have to rely on that jerk for protection.”

I swallowed nervously before countering, “You don’t understand. If I refuse Evan – I’ll be running from danger for the rest of my life,” I explained wearily, my voice breaking a little as I whispered “I don’t want to live like that.”

Sirius dropped his hands from the wall and pulled away from me, and I was met by a rush of cold air where his body had just been.

“And living in a false marriage – how is that any better?” He asked heatedly, running a hand through his dark hair in exasperation. “All for the sake of keeping a mangy mutt like Fenrir Greyback off you tail? You can’t tell me you actually want that.”

I shrugged helplessly. I knew that Sirius would never see the situation in the same light that I did. I mean, this was my life that was in danger – therefore I had to make the decisions that would save it. Whether they were easy or not.

“What I want is safety.” I protested quietly, ignoring Sirius’ disbelieving scoff. “If Evan can offer that, then why shouldn’t I say yes?”

“Because he can’t be trusted,” Sirius countered sharply. “How can you possibly forgive him after what they did to you that night? I saw the damage, Alex. I saw how close you were to death.”

Sirius moved back towards me and traced a finger, shaking with emotion, over the scar from the split in my bottom lip.

“How could you forgive someone who hurt you like that?”

I exhaled sharply, twisting myself out of Sirius’ embrace. How could he possibly ask me a question like that, after everything the two of us had been through in the past. 

“You talk about him hurting me – but what about you?” I asked, not caring how harsh I sounded.

“What are you-“

“I’ve sat up in that Hospital Wing countless times because of you.” I interrupted firmly, pointing towards the roof. “Concussions, broken limbs – you name it, I’ve been there.”

Sirius exhaled sharply – his jaw set tightly. “C’mon, Alex. You know that’s different.”

“How?” I questioned him with a shrug of my shoulders. “How exactly is that different, Sirius, I’d like to know.”

“I never wanted you dead.” Sirius answered through gritted teeth.

I snorted indifferently. “I’d beg to differ.”

Sirius pointed an accusing finger at me. “Don’t you dare – don’t you dare pull this on me now.” He replied bitterly – struggling to keep his voice down. “You can’t act like you’re not guilty of that as well – I know how vicious you can be.”

And with that he rolled back the sleeve of his sweater, revealing a long, raised scar running along his forearm. An instant wave of guilt washed over me as I remembered the fight on the train when I had given Sirius that wound, and I could feel a new rush of tears threatening to spill over.

“I’m sorry, Sirius.” I whispered unsteadily as I moved closer to him and traced my fingers up his arm gently, drawing a shaky breath from his lips.

Sirius moved his other arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “All I meant was what have you done to Rosier to deserve the way he treated you? When all you’ve ever been to him is a good friend.”

“He saved my life.” I countered, and Sirius raised his eyebrows questioningly. “He took my wand and placed it in the forest when I was fighting Greyback. If he hadn’t done that, Sirius, I don’t know what would have happened.”

Sirius let out a deep sigh – but still maintained his grip on me.

“I could look after you just as well as he could. Better, in fact.”

I pushed Sirius’ arms away gently - looking up at him very seriously. “That’s just the thing, Sirius. I don’t think you can.”

Sirius waved a hand questioningly. “And why is that?”

I hesitated a moment before asking. “Can you honestly tell me that there’s nothing going on between you and Silver?”

Sirius mouth dropped a little but he composed himself again just as quickly, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay – there was. But it was nothing. She was just a… a distraction.”

“Distraction from what?” I asked cautiously – my eyebrows furrowed in a dark frown.

“From you.” Sirius explained, as if he didn’t understand why I didn’t already know this. “I think it’s pretty clear how I feel about you, Alex. But I never in a million years thought that anything would happen between us – not until today at St Mungo’s at least.”

I shrugged my shoulders stubbornly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you bloody well do.” Sirius countered heatedly. “There was something between us then, don’t deny it. You can’t deny that you don’t feel it now either.”

“What does it matter?” I questioned – my voice shaking a little with emotion. How could I choose between the two of them. How? 

“Say that I refused him. What then? When Greyback tracks me down, which I’m certain he will, and changes me into… into a monster,” Tears had begun to fall now – streaming down over my cheeks as I began to realise what I needed to do. What choice I needed to make.

Though I knew it would be one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.

“Who would want me then?” I managed to choke out shakily, knowing that once I did this – there would be no going back.

“I would!” Sirius answered firmly – his eyes searching my tearstained face. “Whether you were a Werewolf, or a Vampire – or even a bloody Merperson for that matter. I would want you, Alex.”

And with that he lowered lips against mine and my whole body was shot through with such desire that I couldn’t help but answer his kiss with just as much fierceness. He pushed me back against the cold marble, his lips never leaving mine and I let my shaking fingers find their way around his neck and tangle themselves in his hair.

He pressed himself against me roughly – his fingers expertly finding the hem of my shirt and snaking their way underneath the fabric to my skin. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this – I knew, especially given what I was planning on doing that I definitely should not be doing this. But it all felt too good not to – especially when his lips moved from my swollen lips down to the crook of my neck, drawing a low moan from somewhere in the back of my throat.

It was only when Sirius moved his lips back up to my own and whispered breathlessly, “Let’s go somewhere else.” ,that I hesitated.

“I can’t do this.” I whispered shakily against his lips and he stared at me, stunned, as I disentangled myself from his arms.

“I have to choose Evan – it’s the only way I can guarantee my safety.” I explained, trying to choke down the rising sobs.

Sirius reached out a hand for me, but I moved out of his way. “Alex, no – it’s not the only way.”

I shook my head – wiping away the warm tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I whispered, before turning and making my way back towards the dungeon door – ignoring Sirius’ calls from behind me. I knew that if I looked back – if I hesitated for even a second – I might just change my mind.

I rushed through to the dungeons and slammed the door behind me, leaning back on it and pressing a hand against my mouth as a series of uncontrollable sobs racked my body. I could feel something – hidden somewhere deep within my chest – start to shatter. And it was then that the truth had become painfully, and inevitably aware.

I had fallen for Sirius Black.


	28. Just a Kiss

It wasn’t easy admitting to myself that I had fallen for Sirius. In fact, it was downright torture.

I just couldn’t really get my head around the fact that the one guy who used to set my blood boiling so violently in fury – could now have the insane ability to cause a flurry of butterflies in my stomach with just one look.

I mean, what had changed really? He was still the same egotistical prat that he had always been. Only now he had started spouting some crap about wanting to save me from the evils of the world and had me going all weak at the knees?

Merlin, I think we have a problem.

But it’s not like any of that mattered anyway, I thought to myself as I yawned and touched my feet on the chilly, stone floor of my dormitory. It was early morning – and I had to get to the Hospital Wing so that Madame Mellick could change my bandages to fresh ones before breakfast.

I stretched my arms out above my head – wincing a little at the pain in my abdomen as I tried to push all thoughts of the night before out of my head. They were the very same thoughts that had kept me awake half the night. My meeting with Dumbledore, the mysterious involvement of Deryk Lynch, Lucius and Bellatrix’s disappearance, Evans proposal, Sirius’ kiss. All of it was rolling around in my head like an untamed cyclone – adamantly refusing to die down and leave me in peace.

I could hardly tell which was worse. Being kept awake at night by my own chaotic thoughts, or struggling through nightmares of yellow-eyed monsters with bloody claws.

And on top of all that, I can safely say that I’ve never been a morning person.

I grumbled to myself as I changed from my pyjamas into my uniform, and searched the floor around the bed for my bag. I found it, eventually, carelessly pushed underneath my four-poster next to a pile of old, unopened Birthday and Christmas gifts.

After a quick splash of warm water on my face and a few coats of mascara and gloss, I trudged down the stairs into the empty common room – pulling a black, woollen cardigan over my uniform to ward off the morning chill.

Still half asleep I ambled through the stone corridors of the dungeons – which were even more eerily silent during the early hours of the day – rubbing at my eyes lazily. I let out a loud yawn – and in fact would have missed it had I not stopped long enough to remove my fists from my heavy-lidded eyes.

Barely a foot from where I had halted – breathing lightly as he dozed against the gilded-edge of his frame – was Deryk Lynch. Now the way I saw it, I had two options. Either I could head on to the Hospital Wing and talk to Deryk at in another point in time when he was preferably conscious.

Or I could wake the sodding prat up and demand some answers.

“Oi, Lynch!” I leaned towards the frame and hissed, rather croakily. I cleared my throat and waited for Deryk to wake up – but to no avail. His dark eyelashes fluttered against his skin for a brief moment, but he remained as asleep as ever.

So I had no choice left but to shake him awake, I supposed.

I reached out for the frame – taking in a sharp breath as my fingers rested upon the ice-cold metal – and started to give it a small shake, just enough to wake Deryk up. Of course I hadn’t counted on the portrait weighing a million pounds, and instead of shaking, it tipped to the side violently – quite nearly falling off the hook it was hung on – and tossed Deryk in the opposite direction to where he had been sleeping soundly.

Aghast at the sudden, rude awakening, Deryk let out a rather loud curse word before he noticed me, wide-eyed with arms flung out to support the large frame, in front of him – my teeth clenched tight against the sharp pain it was causing me to hold the thing upright. So my plan hadn’t worked out exactly as I had thought it would – but it had worked.

Instead of the verbal bashing I thought would follow, however, he merely stood up straight – well, as straight as the crooked frame would allow him to – dusted off his robes and sniffed, “Well, it’s nice to see you still wandering the land of the living.”

I scoffed up at him disbelievingly – amazed that he could still hold that air of pure arrogance in any situation.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Deryk raised a dark eyebrow, studying me rather intently.

“Let’s just say that the last time I saw you, you weren’t quite as charmingly conscious. Now do you mind setting me right, love?” He gestured to the lop-sided frame.

I steadied the portrait – then once convinced it wasn’t going to come smashing down on top of me, reached one hand into my pocket for my wand before levitating the heavy frame back into place.

Once righted, Deryk crossed his arms across his chest – smirking at me contentedly. I narrowed my eyes darkly – but then remembering that I kind of owed the guy my life, settled instead for a pointed stare.

“Anyway,” I began through gritted teeth. “I’m sure you know why I’m here?”

He grinned – his thick, Irish accent only more accentuated by his amusement. “I suspect you’ll be wanting to repay me for my noble deeds.”

I let out a snort of bitter laughter, before replying. “I hardly think that staying up an hour or two past your bedtime is worthy of repayment.”

Deryk raised a finger to his lips, as if in thought, before answering. “Perhaps not, but alerting Professor Slughorn of a certain damsel in distress has got to be worth something, am I right?”

I clicked my tongue impatiently, and he knew that he had me.

“I suppose you do deserve a little gratitude.” I resigned stubbornly, and Deryk grinned smugly before I had the chance to ask the question which had really been bugging me. “But before we get to that – I want to know why exactly you were up at that hour of the night. It can’t have been by chance”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Deryk shrugged absently, and I narrowed my eyes.

“I highly doubt that.”

He crossed his arms across his chest stubbornly. “It’s true. Ol’ Nick was having a party down here and they were making a right, royal racket.”

“Just tell me the real reason, will you.” I snapped, knowing that if Nearly Headless Nick had really been throwing a party, I would hardly have been kidnapped unnoticed by the ghost.

Deryk let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, you got me. I might have had a little warning. But let me tell you, it was no easy task-“

“Who warned you?” I interrupted anxiously – completely disregarding the rest of his sentence and ignoring the dirty look he was throwing me.

“For Merlin’s sake, hold your horses. Is that any way to treat your saviour?”

I raised my eyebrows impatiently and Deryk sighed in exasperation before folding his arms across his chest. “Well I can’t tell you his name – he was in a right hurry. Told me there would be a bit of a disturbance through these corridors later on and that if I could keep an eye out – warn one of the Professors of what was going on – that he’d make it worth my while.”

My forehead creased into a frown. “What exactly was he offering you?”

“That he’d get me out of these godforsaken dungeons, of course.” Deryk answered with a wave of his hand.

I glared at him. “Why didn’t you warn Slughorn after he’d told you this – before they’re dragged me out of my dormitory.”

“Because the lad made it pretty clear that I should wait until after I had seen you. And I wasn’t taking any chances, love. I haven’t always been down here, you know. Not before that grisly old Squib took a disliking to me and carted me down here in his wheelbarrow. And unlike some people I know, I don’t particularly like it down here.”

I raised my eyebrows, wondering if that’s why he had always been so unpleasant.

“So tell me. What did this guy look like?”

Deryk offered a dark grin. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll tell you what you want to know, if you make right the deal the other little prat backed out on. Get me out of here.”

I shrugged. What other choice did I have?

“Where exactly did you have in mind?” I asked, eyeing his heavy frame rather unenthusiastically.

Deryk tapped his chin in thought. “The Ravenclaw Common Room would do nicely, I think.”

“Ugh,” I responded, disgusted. “So you can spy on that student you were talking about?”

“What do you mean student? You have a right filthy mind, you know that? I’m talking about the lovely Anabelle,” Deryk explained, his voice getting all dreamy as he spoke of Anabelle. Whoever that was.

He must have sensed my confusion because he added, “Anabelle the Fair. Her painting hangs up in the Ravenclaw Tower, and it’s a right bloody hassle getting all the way up there. Do you know how many frames I have to go through each day?”

“I don’t really care, to be honest,” I remarked dryly, glad to hear he hadn’t been stalking some poor student after all and wondering if that’s where he had been when I was looking for him the night before.

“Well,” Deryk disregarded my rudeness. “Get me up there and I’ll be sure to give you a thorough description of the lad.”

“Fine. I’ll be back later.” I assured him, wondering if I could persuade Xavier to help me out with one last thing before he decided to turn his back on me forever.

Highly doubtful, but I still had to give it a try.

I wandered through the corridors, trying to figure out myself who it could be. We’d already established that he was male, though nothing else Deryk had said had really helped a lot. It had to be someone who already knew what was going to happen, I thought. Was there anyone else apart from those who were there that night who could have known?

I was still trying to decipher this mystery as I was approaching the Hospital Wing, and the sound of the doors swinging open made me halt, until I recognised the sandy-haired boy who had just emerged, running a hand through his dishelved locks.

“Remus!” I greeted him – my voice echoing off the stone walls surrounding us. His head snapped in my direction as I approached and his lips quirked up into a grin.

“Merlin, Alex. I’m so glad to see you’re alright.” He spoke as he clasped a hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a tight hug – his breath tickling warmly against my hair.

“I’m fine,” I answered stiffly, realising now what had brought Remus to the Hospital Wing. "But what happened to you?”

Given the chance to take a proper look at the boy standing in front of me I was aghast to find thick, red scars running across the width of his face. The scars ran in three lines – lines that I swear resembled the strike of a claw – and were still red and swollen around the edges, as if they were only dealt recently.

“Oh, this?” Remus shrugged – not seeming the least bit phased by his injury. “I had the unfortunate luck of being paired with Peter in Transfiguration and, well – let’s just say that Transfig isn’t exactly his forte.”

I raised a sceptical eyebrow. “You’re telling me that a spell did that?”

“A bloody mess of a spell – but a spell all the same.” He nodded with certainty – but I wasn’t so sure that I was convinced.

“It’s just that they look... they look like –” I stopped short when I noticed the questioning look that Remus had thrown me. Did he know what I had been trying to say? That the scars across his face were nearly identical to the ones on my own body.

But how could I even let the words slip past my lips? I couldn’t accuse Remus of lying any more than I could bring myself to believe that his wound had been dealt by a Werewolf. And there had been no idication that he had been in the Forest the night of my attack.

It was just a coincidence that they happened to look like that, I told myself. Though a rather unnerving coincidence nonetheless.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” Remus persuaded – flashing an encouraging grin. “Madame Mellick’s taking care of me.”

I nodded unsurely. Something seemed off, but I didn’t feel right prying into it.

“So,” He began again – taking a seat on a stone bench which sat opposite the Hospital Wings doors, and motioning for me to sit beside him. “Is it true what Sirius says? About you and Rosier, I mean.”

I let out a sigh as I sunk down onto the bench – carefully avoiding aggravating my wounds. “So he told you about last night then?”

“Everything.” Remus answered – his eyebrows furrowed darkly. “What are you doing, Alex? Thinking of marrying a guy like that?”

I bit my bottom lip tentatively before answering. “I know how it looks, Remus. Believe me I do.” I explained – searching his face closely. “But you have to understand that I’m doing this for the right reasons. I can’t leave Hogwarts and step into even more danger than I’ve already gotten myself into.”

Remus took in a slow breath. “I understand the need for safety, Alex, and I’m sure that you think you’re doing the right thing.” He explained – watching me intently. “I think you’re choosing the easy way – but that doesn’t exactly mean that it’s the best way.”

“Remus, I’m not – “

“Just listen to me.” Remus interjected – holding up a hand to halt me. “You agreed to this marriage with Rosier because he’s familiar, right? You’ve grown up with the guy. You know what he’s capable of and where his family stand in the wake of Voldemorts uprising. But,” He continued in a low voice, “Are you sure you can really trust him? Voldemort has a will of his own – he won’t be governed by his followers.”

I sighed, resting my head in my hands wearily. “I trust Evan – because of how he feels about me. He’d do anything to protect me.”

“Anything except risk his own neck.” Remus countered sceptically.

“Remus, don't.” I warned – narrowing my eyes darkly as I pushed myself to my feet.

“You know it’s true, Alex. If he would do anything to protect you – I mean, really do anything – than maybe you wouldn’t have found yourself wound up in this Greyback mess to begin with.”

“And maybe Evan would be dead!” I struck back.

Remus shrugged – before staring up at me sternly. “He’s not the only one who cares about you, you know.”

I let out a short sigh. “If you’re talking about Sirius, then I hardly think he’s going to come running to my aid now.”

“I’m not just talking about Sirius here.” Remus countered in exasperation, pushing himself up to stand before me. “Forgive me for thinking that I might actually have a say in this matter. Or was it deluded of me to think that we were friends?”

I faltered – feeling more than a little guilty. “We are friends, Remus. And I’m sorry but there’s not much that anyone can say now that would change my mind.”

“I can’t believe you’re really going through with this.” Remus sighed in defeat, turning away from me and although I couldn’t quite see, I think he was tracing a finger down the scars on his face.

I let out a small sigh and shrugged my shoulders helplessly. I didn’t want to argue about it anymore when it was clear that neither of us was going to see the others point. I just hoped, foolishly I suppose, that making this decision wouldn’t result in losing Remus’ friendship. Though I could hardly blame him if it did.

“So, what happens now?” I asked – quite dreading the answer and thinking how deeply it hurt to be stuck on the middle of the fence, torn between two sides.

Remus turned back – running a hand anxiously through his hair. “I really don’t know. I suppose I’ll have to see how Sirius deals with this, and then take it from there.

I nodded softly – feeling something incredibly miserable rising up inside me. It seemed that no matter what I did, no matter what decision I made, someone would always end up getting hurt.

“Just remember one thing, will you,” Remus said suddenly, watching me intensely. “Sure, Sirius can be an obnoxious brute at the best of times, even to his best mates, but under all of that he’s still human. He has a heart like the rest of us – and that heart can still break.”

I swallowed the thick lump that was forming in my throat. “I hardly think that I could break the heart of Sirius Black.”

Remus studied me for a short moment, before answering. “You’d be surprised.”

And then he walked away, and I forced myself into the Hospital Wing before the tears could start falling down my face.

 

***

 

Madame Mellick kept me in the Hospital Wing for what felt like an eternity – making me do various exercises and stretches that were supposed to help my body retain its strength as it healed. And let me tell you now that being forced to do any kind of exercise was bound to put me in a sour mood – especially when said exercise was being done at such a ridiculous hour of the morning and I was already feeling utterly miserable.

It was my thought that she was just a sad, lonely old woman who got her kicks out of tormenting poor, injured students. That would certainly make a whole lot of sense in my book.

After finishing the exercises, and assuring her constantly that I felt fine, she finally let me go and I hobbled out of the Hospital Wing – in pain and utterly convinced that those stupid exercises had only worsened my wounds rather than help them – and started heading down the staircase towards the Great Hall.

This was until I thought about what kind of scene might be waiting for me there, and I halted.

Maybe I should just skip breakfast, I thought. After the little scene with Sirius at Kings Cross before Christmas, my run in with Greyback – and now my impending engagement to Evan – I just knew that the entire student body would be running wild with rumours and speculations.

It didn’t help that the seventh years were all but celebrities at Hogwarts – the younger students following our private lives as carefully as they could manage, which was often not careful at all and more irritating and invasive. And my own life had hardly been dull this year. I couldn’t think of one other student who could have collected as many rumours around them as I had so far.

Still, I’d have to face those rumours – whether they be true or not – sooner or later. And I hadn’t exactly given Evan a proper answer as yet, which I really just wanted to get over and done with.

So I braced myself – continuing on towards the Great Hall and scooting through the open doors, hoping, stupidly, to get through unnoticed. The hush that fell across the Hall when I entered however, told me otherwise.

I didn’t slow my pace – I hardened my face instead, wiping it clean of emotions. There was something that I needed to do. I couldn’t afford to get distracted.

After a few awkward moments, the chatter started up again and I caught more than a few pairs of curious eyes trained on me as I tried to walk as straight as possible on my aching leg.

Though I couldn’t help but cringe as I passed the Ravenclaw table and heard my name being called out.I knew the voice, unmistakably. It would have been unforgivably rude of me not to turn and face Xavier with a false smile – pretending desperately not to care about the extra attention he was drawing my way.

He was beaming – really, genuinely happy to see me safe and sound and I felt a tremendous wave of guilt sweep over me as he engulfed me in his strong arms and murmured into my ear, “I was so worried.”

“I’m fine.” I repeated with forced exuberance, for what felt like the thousandth time that day. I glanced around nervously – not because I wasn’t happy to see Xavier, but because I was worried about what kind of image I would be presenting to certain people who may have been watching.

Xavier held up his hands. “Before you say anything else, I want to apologise for how I acted before Christmas, when Bellatrix was saying how you befriended me only to break me and Lily up.”

“Xavier, you don’t have to apologise.” I answered, quite horrified at how nice he was acting considering what I was about to do.

“I do, Alex, I felt horrible about it all Christmas break. And then even more when I heard you were in Hospital.” He explained, his doe-brown eyes so sincere. “I know that you’re not that person anymore.”

I stumbled on my words – I didn’t know what to say. How could I agree with Xavier, when everything I had done in my life was for my own good, and that I was beginning to realise that I wasn’t about to change that fact anytime soon. I was absolutely that person.

“Do you want to come and sit down?” Xavier asked – his forehead creased in a frown as if he could see that I was distracted. I noticed Kendra and Isobel motioning to me from where they sat at the Ravenclaw table, but I tried not to respond.

“Actually, can we just meet up in Arithmancy this afternoon?” I asked – desperately just wanting to dodge him, and get out of this aisle where I was standing in full view of the student body. “I need to talk to someone.”

“Okay, sure.” Xavier answered, visibly confused, though I barely heard it as I was nervously making a bee-line towards the Slytherin table, still trying to get my head around what I was about to do.

I spotted the group easily – Evan and Rodolpus sitting across from Severus, Rabastan and Regulus. Narcissa was also nearby, chatting with a couple of girls and appearing happier then I had seen her in months.

I approached Evan, who looked at me expectantly, and took a seat on the bench next to him.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Evan smiled – that warm, enticing smile that could make any heart melt – and I thought that my heart must have been made of stone because I didn’t feel a single flicker of hope, love, or any emotion that should be present when you agree to marry someone.

But I was doing this for another reason entirely, I had to remind myself.

“Bad idea.” Rodolphus remarked suddenly from the other side of Evan, before taking a long gulp from his goblet.

Evan’s jaw clenched visibly. “Ignore him. He’s just mad because his girlfriend ditched him.”

“No thanks to yours.” Rodolphus snapped back in a voice I had never heard him use before.

All of a sudden I felt incredibly uneasy. What had I brought myself back into? Rabastan, sitting across from his brother, had his head down – playing with his food absent-mindedly. Severus was shooting nervous glances up and down the length of the table and Regulus, I noticed last, had his eyes narrowed darkly at Evan and I.

Something had changed here. I couldn’t help but notice the present tension, and could only assume that the others shared Rodolphus’ unenthusiastic view on the matter. A small amount of panic started to rise in me as I realised that this was definitely not going according to plan.

Evan composed himself – though I couldn’t help but think that if anyone but his best friend had said that, he would have beaten them to a pulp.

He must have sensed my discomfort because he took my hand in his own, and used his other to brush a few stray strands of hair out of my face.

“You’re safe now,” He assured me, letting his hand linger on the side of my face. “Don’t worry about anything – I’ll handle it from here.”

I let out the breath I had been holding in – studying his sapphire eyes and hoping that I could trust the words he was saying. Then, without warning, he leaned forward and kissed me.

A silence fell over the Hall and I froze, realising that if I had been planning on keeping this whole engagement thing a secret – my chances were pretty much blown.

It was the smallest kiss, only lasting the briefest of moments. But in this Hall, to the students who saw, it meant everything. It meant my re-entrance back into the darkest group in the school. It meant my support of this new terror plaguing the Wizarding World. It meant my severance with any friends I might have made outside of this group, and the disregard of any rumours that linked me to anyone other than Evan Rosier.

Because how could anyone possibly know that for me it meant breaking my own heart just to avoid getting myself killed.

I couldn’t hold down the panic that overtook me next.

“You know what, I- I think I left something in my dormitory.” I stammered, reaching behind me for my bag and desperately trying to ignore the fact that I was centre of attention. I dreaded to think what people were saying about me. “I’ll see you in class.”

And with that I was out of there, streaking out of the Hall, forcing myself not to look at anything other than the door that would get me out of there. Because what would I see? Shocked faces. Disappointed eyes. Tempers flaring.

Most of all I dreaded having to meet those stormy grey eyes that haunted me. I quickened my pace, not stopping for anything until I swung the door of my dormitory shut behind me and let my head fall into my hands.

I was freaking out.

I paced the room, trying to calm my nerves, but it all just felt so wrong. How could I have convinced myself that everything would just go back to the way it was when it was clear now that nothing is the same. I mean, there’s no-one that’s even happy about this marriage taking place, except perhaps Evan himself, and even that comes with some degree of risk.

Letting myself fall to the wooden floor, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. It doesn’t matter, I told myself, If things don’t feel the same right away. It will take time, and at the end of everything I will be alive and well. I’d just have to stick out whatever was thrown my way until then.

I sat in this position for a while – thinking about everything and nothing – and utterly trying to convince myself that the choice I had made was the right one. Though upon glancing at my clock after a few minutes, I realised that I did actually have to get to my first class. I rummaged through my trunk, looking for something to nibble on since I had bolted from breakfast without even glancing at the food, until I found a peppermint candy cane which must have been left over from Christmas.

A few minutes later I was ambling through the corridors, sucking on the minty confection, and trying to focus my mind on memories from my Christmas with Isobel to keep from thinking of anything else.

I entered the Potions room tentatively – ignoring the questioning stares and quick whispers which had followed me from the moment I had entered the Great Hall. Dealing with other peoples curiosity was the last thing on my mind.

I had been amusing myself with thoughts of skiing over Christmas, until my eyes fell upon a certain raven-haired boy, whose steely gaze I had desperately been trying to avoid all morning. The very same boy who was currently seated next to the chair that I myself was supposed to be occupying.

I let out the breath that I had been holding in nervously, and – realising that I had been moving at about the pace of a one-legged Niffler, and was consequently the only student left standing awkwardly in the aisle between desks – plucked up whatever courage I had still lurking around and slipped into my seat, in what I hoped was a graceful manner.

I pulled my Potions book out from my bag and dropped it onto the desk in front of me – conveniently hiding behind a curtain of dark hair as I did so. I was acting like a complete and total coward – I knew that – but I also knew that the less of Sirius Black that I had to see, the easier it would be for me to transition into my partnership with Evan.

Sirius, predictably, didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow at my presence. I had expected him to act this way, of course, and I supposed that ignoring me was his way of dealing with my sudden decision to marry Evan.

Though, that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

Professor Slughorn soon came bumbling into the classroom, smiling at me, even though it was against school rules to eat anything in class. I didn’t even try to pay attention. Hell, I didn’t even pretend to pay attention. All I could hear was the thump thump of my heart against my ribcage.

Now that he was sitting mere inches from me, as much as I tried, I just couldn’t tear my thoughts away from the feeling of Sirius’s kiss. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing, or if he was so mad that he had pushed it from his mind altogether. Probably the latter.

It wasn’t until Slughorn had finished explaining our task for the day, and I realised that I had absolutely no idea what we were supposed to be doing, that I thought perhaps I should have listened to the instructions, at least.

Rather lazily I reached out for my book, trying to peek past Slughorns’ large bulk at the blackboard behind him, in hope he had written any information up there. Until, of course, instead of landing on the hard, leather cover of my Potions book, my hand instead found itself falling into contact with the soft, warm flesh of someone else’s hand.

I jerked back, my heart quite noticeably lurching in my chest as I scanned the table in front of me, just in time to see Sirius pulling away from my book, of which he had turned to a specific page. I leaned forward to inspect the page – ignoring the nervous thumping in my chest – and found what I supposed was our task for the day.

A Metamorphose Potion – a Transfiguration aid, used by those less skilled in the art to Transfigure with ease. Hastily, I ran a finger down the list of ingredients, which was rather extensive, before scooping the book up in my arms and attempting to hurry away towards the potion store room. This was until I felt a strong hand clasp around my wrist, holding me back, and a voice command “Wait.”

Immediately, I turned in my seat to find what is was that Sirius was asking me to wait for, only to find that he wasn’t about to give me any inclination that he had spoken at all.

He leaned back in his seat, stretching his arms behind his head casually. I swung back to face the front of the classroom – clutching my book in front of my chest tightly, as if I expected it to keep my heart from lurching out and splattering on the stone floor below. I watched and waited as the other students shuffled to the potions store and back again, dumping various ingredients on to their tables and adding the first drops to their cauldrons.

It wasn’t until the last straggling students were heading back to their tables that I felt a small nudge on my back and I all but jumped off my chair and made a beeline for the store room. Once there, I took in a deep breath and leaned against the corner of a shelf. I couldn’t breathe around Sirius. Especially not with him ignoring my very existence one minute, and then sending me completely crazy cryptic messages the next. I mean, what the hell was up with that?

I pushed myself away from the shelf wearily. It was best to just push it out of my mind, I thought to myself as I began to comb through the various jars and bottles for the things that I needed. I couldn’t afford to lose my cool when it came to Evan – especially not with my safety in such question. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to let Sirius know that he was getting to me.

At least, that’s what I was thinking until a quick footstep behind me prompted me to spin on my heel, and within an instant I was met by the fierce eyes of Sirius Black looking down at me – a surprisingly devilish grin spread across his face.

Before I even had the chance to ask what he thought he was doing, his lips crashed down against mine and I was so taken aback that my book fell from my hands and I half thought I would stumble back into the shelves behind me, but was righted at once by Sirius’ arms firmly encircling my waist and drawing me into him – where I all but melted into his embrace.

I didn’t mean to do it – I mean, it would have made my life a heck of a lot easier if I hadn’t – but my brain sort of took a little vacation, letting my emotions take over and before I knew it my traitorous body was pressed up against the warmth of Sirius’ own, and my hands were curling around the back of his neck – pulling him closer and urging him to kiss me harder.

Somewhere, faintly in the back of my mind I realised a real sense of danger – a warning that this was not the position that I should be putting myself in. But to say that I didn’t find myself actually enjoying the position I was in would just be an outright lie.

There was no way that I could deny that this moment, right now, was the one thing that could make me forget everything that was wrong with the world.

It was Sirius who pulled away first – his breath escaping in ragged gasps, but still holding me tightly against him. Luckily for me – who’s knees were so weak and mind so light-headed that I would have been dropping to the floor had he been doing anything but.

“So when is this unholy union between you and Rosier supposed to be taking place?” Sirius asked lowly – his lips barely an inch from my own.

I tried to hold onto that feeling of contentment – but already I could feel it slipping away.

“Graduation.” I exhaled shakily, barely able to elaborate as I attempted to clear the fog that had taken over my brain. What was it about this guy that turned me into an incoherent mess?

Sirius smiled darkly – lightly pressing his lips to mine once more before whispering against them. “Plenty of time to change your mind then.”

It was then that I faltered.

“Change my mind?” I pulled back from him – my brain now working overtime as I demanded an explanation for his reaction. I’d thought he had been furious at me for my choice. And now he was snogging me and going on about changing my mind?

“You really think I’m going to give you up without a fight?” Sirius enquired – flashing a disbelieving grin as he tried to draw me back into him.

I resisted – pulling my hand from his grip and snapping bitterly. “This isn’t a game, Sirius. This is my life.”

“Which is why I don’t understand why you’re making the wrong decisions.” Sirius countered – more serious this time.

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you chase after Silver, or any of those other girls who would be thrilled to have you on their tail?” I asked, though the thought of him even doing that shot a sharp pang of jealousy through me.

Sirius hesitated – dropping his eyes a moment before replying. “Because none of them could ever compare to that blue-eyed girl I met on the train our first year. The one who could stop my heart with a smile.”

I hesitated and Sirius took advantage of that to draw me closer and raise a hand to trace his thumb over my bottom lip.

“It’s too bad she doesn’t smile anymore.”

I twisted away from him, bending to pick up the book I had dropped before replying bitterly “There’s hardly anything to smile about.”

“Sweetheart – if you drop that first-class git you’re intending to marry, I’ll give you plenty to smile about.”

I ignored him – instead starting to rummage through a few more shelves – not particularly paying any attention to what I was looking for.

“Alex, listen –” Sirius began to speak, though I cut him off hotly.

“I am through listening to you, Sirius!” I countered in a low scowl – knowing that screaming at the top of my voice would hardly go by unnoticed by the other students’ seated just outside the door in the classroom.

“But if you would just reconsider this whole thing with Rosier.” Sirius persisted, and I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming.

“There is nothing that you or anyone can say to make me reconsider.”

“Yeah? Well, we'll see about that” Sirius said, offering a dangerous grin."Don't act like you didn't enjoy kissing me."

I scowled, pushing the Potions book into his chest roughly before grabbing a few random ingredients off a nearby shelf and stalking from the room.

It wasn’t like I was mad at Sirius, exactly. I mean, of course I didn’t need him making things any harder for me than they already were – but I think mostly, I was mad at myself for the way I felt about him, and for kissing him back, when I knew I should be pushing him away.

I slumped back down in my seat – nervously glancing around the room to see if anyone had noticed anything unusual. No-one was paying any attention to me, at least, which in large part which due to the complexity of the potion we were currently making.

I chanced a peek at the table where Evan and Serenity were working, to find them caught in the middle of some heated debate. I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the racket from the other students, so I couldn’t tell what it was they were arguing about. I thought maybe it was to do with their work, until Serenity threw a brief glance my way and my stomach fell.

She would have been there in the Great Hall this morning, and no doubt seen what had happened with Evan. Had he told her about our engagement? I prayed to Merlin that he hadn’t – the longer I had to wait to confront my parents with the news, the better.

I studied the ingredients I had picked up in my haste. Kelpie hair, Knotgrass, Jobberknoll Beak. I seized Sirius’s book since I had left mine with him, and browsed the list of ingredients. None of which I had picked was any use, so I pushed the jars aside and began to heat the cauldron instead.

Sirius returned with an armful of ingredients and dumped them on the table. We began to work on our potion, Sirius barely speaking a word to me, and certainly not seeming at all happy in my company.

I wondered if this was how it would be from now on. Act like he couldn’t stand the sight of me in front of company while trying to persuade me to break it off with Evan behind closed doors? But if he wanted to make things uneasy between Evan and I, wouldn’t he want to cause suspicion that something was going on between the two of us?

I mean, not that anything was. That kiss, and I suppose the one last night as well, was just a minor setback. From now on Sirius Black would be forcefully and absolutely excluded from my life.

I let my head fall into my hands dejectedly as I wondered why the thought of that sounded so miserable to me.


	29. Liar, Liar

“You’re marrying who?”

I inhaled sharply as I took in the angry expressions surrounding me – my Arithmancy work abandoned for the moment as I was forced to explain myself.

Kendra, Isobel and Xavier were all staring at me darkly. Maxwell, Oliver and the rest of our class were all gathered around other tables – trying to hide the fact that they were eavesdropping on every word we spoke.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Xavier asked in exasperation – his jaw set tightly against clenched teeth.

“It’s exactly what I want.” I lied firmly, having decided that I was better off pretending that marrying Evan was really something that I wanted to go through with. That way at least, people would have less cause to try to convince me otherwise.

Except Sirius and Remus, of course, who were the only ones so far who actually knew the whole truth behind this engagement and would have cause to object against it. Remus knew well enough not to meddle in other people’s business, I hoped. But Sirius... well, he might just pose a slight problem.

“What about Sirius Black?” Isobel questioned, as if she had read my very thoughts. “I mean, I thought the two of you –“

“Don’t say it, Iz,” I interrupted the blonde – keeping my face a mask of innocence and trying not to choke on perhaps the biggest lie of all. “There’s nothing going on between me and Sirius. There never was.”

Isobel raised her eyebrows curiously, not sure if she believed me. The girl had become so much more perceptive of late, I was sure. And who could blame her for asking, really, when she had seen plenty of evidence suggesting that Sirius and I had had some kind of attraction towards each other.

It was funny, I had always thought of her as some snobby, upper- class bimbo – but it seemed like this new world we were being thrust into was changing everyone. She had even started wearing her hair down and hanging around her shoulders, rather than the elaborate hairstyles she used to sport.

A hell of a change for her, if you ask me.

“Well, I don’t agree with it,” Xavier answered, crossing his arms in front of his chest matter-of-factly. “After all you’ve been through at the hands of those gits. Why would you want to get mixed up in all of that again?”

I shrugged helplessly, lowering my voice to a whisper to avoid being overheard by the students at the other tables who weren’t doing a very convincing job at trying to hide the fact that they were listening to us.

“I’m not getting mixed up in all of that Death Eater business again, I swear,” I explained truthfully. “Evans been one of my closest friends for years, and he loves me and... it’s a good match for me, okay?”

Kendra rolled her eyes, hardly convinced. “Maybe so, but do you actually love him?”

“Yes,” I answered, forcing myself to spit the word out. “I love him.”

“Bullshit!” Xavier swore, banging a hard fist on the table. I was genuinely startled – it wasn’t often that Xavier lost his temper.

“If I know you, and I think I do – you rarely do anything without having an ulterior motive.”

I stared at him, gobsmacked. Was I really that transparent?

No, I had to remind myself. Xavier was just super intuitive with these kinds of things. Evan, thank Merlin, was not.

“I don’t have an ulterior motive.” I forced myself to lie again, wondering why it was getting more and more difficult.

“You do,” Xavier judged, nodding his head in firm belief. “I don’t know what it is, but there’s something there, I’m sure of it.”

I started to protest, growing increasingly flustered under Xaviers accusaations, until he added.

“I suppose I believe you when you say you won’t get mixed up with the Death Eater stuff again, though. You’re a hell of a schemer, but you’re not stupid.” He said with a dark grin, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to take it as an insult or a compliment.

“So I guess I’ll just have to trust that you have a good reason for wanting to marry that jerk.” Xavier concluded with a shrug, and I let out the sharp breath I was holding in. I did have a good reason for doing it, I knew that much, I thought as I glanced at Isobel and Kendra.

Kendra shrugged uncomfortably. “I'm still not so sure about it. Evan’s still mixed up in all of this You-Know-Who business. Just promise us you’ll be careful around him. ” she added in concern. “I mean, look at Lucius – he turned out to be a complete whack-job.”

I gave her an uneasy, yet grateful smile – Evan was hardly a whack-job, but I wouldn’t exactly call him normal, either. I mean, he had a pretty scary temper on him sometimes. But he couldn’t exactly stop me from seeing my friends, in any case.

“I promise I’ll be fine,” I tried to convince them, though could hardly begin to believe my own lie.

Would I really be fine, promising to marry a prospective Death Eater? Did I truly know that I wasn’t getting myself into yet another mess? And most of all could my heart recover from the fact that I had snatched away its chance at having what it really wants, and replaced it with something false?

“Evan’s looking out for me now. It’ll be good, you’ll see.”

Isobel clicked her tongue sceptically. “I still don’t understand why you have to get married. Why do you have to rush into things?”

I inhaled sharply, the clogs of my brain working for some kind of explanation. Damn Isobel and her new-found vigilance.

“Oh, you know. We’re just so in love. Why wait?” I managed to croak out weakly, feeling sick to my stomach after every word.

Isobel frowned a little, but it seemed to have satisfied her curiosity for now.

“How is this going to affect things with the Gryffindors?” she asked next with a dark frown, genuinely concerned. “I like Remus, he’s a good Potions partner. And Sirius isn’t so bad when he’s not sulking about something or other.”

I let out a disbelieving laugh, hardly believing my ears. “Seriously, Iz, how did you end up in Slytherin and not, like, Hufflepuff or something?”

Isobel flushed a little, and shrunk back in her seat.

“It’s her pride,” Kendra teased, poking a finger at Isobels side. “She’s too damn snooty to be a Hufflepuff.”

“Maybe that’s why she fits in so well with those Gryffindor blokes.” Xavier added to the taunt with a laugh.

“Stop it.” Isobel demanded sternly, though I could faintly see her lips curving upwards. “If we discriminate between Houses then how are we any better than You-Know-Who, who shows favour to Purebloods?”

“That’s true,” I agreed, thoughtfully. “And as for the Gryffindors, you can be friends with whoever you want. No-one here is stopping you.”

“Unless you want to be more than friends,” Xavier countered silkily. “Then we might have some reservations.”

Isobel squawked in protest, insisting she wanted no such thing, and we all sniggered at her discomfort. Until Professor Vector came strutting out of her office, Daily Prophet in hand, and told us to shut up and do our work.

Ha. I knew she only locked herself in there to so those damn number puzzles. The proof is in the pudding.

Whatever that means.

A new hush had fallen over the class, and I waited a few minutes for the chatter to start up again before I whispered to Xavier.

“I need to ask you a favour. If you’re willing to help me out, that is.”

Xaviers lips quirked upwards, and he raised his dark eyebrows curiously. “How can I be of service, m’lady?”

After Arithmancy, we took advantage of the short break between classes to head down to the dungeons and find Deryk Lynch – who was absent-mindedly polishing the handle of his broomstick as we approached his portrait. I didn’t really see the point in the activity, but a portrait has got to find some way to entertain himself I suppose.

“Alright, Lynch. A deals a deal.” I said by way of greeting, and Deryks face lit up considerably.

“I was wondering if you’d be back.” He drawled in that annoyingly accented voice of his, and I raised my eyebrows at him, somewhat insulted. What did he mean if I’d be back? I wasn’t that untrustworthy, was I?

“Who’s this blighter?”

I glanced at Xavier – rolling my eyes and making a gesture that Deryk wasn’t all there in the head, to which he objected rather loudly.

“This is Xavier Stone – the Ravenclaw who’s going to get you into the Tower.” I explained impatiently, wanting to get the task of lugging the heavy frame to the Ravenclaw Tower over and done with.

“Ah, so this is the lad who’s had your feathers all ruffled of late, is it?” Deryk asked, waggling his dark eyebrows knowingly. “There’s just something about them Ravenclaws, am I right?”

“No, you’re not right, you bloody git.” I scoffed up at him in disgust. “Now if you don’t mind, would you shut up so we can get on with it?”

Deryk made a gesture that his lips were sealed and Xavier, looking rather amused at our exchange, levitated one side of the portrait up and off of the wall, while I took the other.

We trudged through the dungeons and to the Entrance Hall, first checking that the coast was clear before we made slow progress up the marble staircase.

I was thankful that there was no-one around to witness what we were doing, as I highly suspected that we looked nothing short of ridiculous levitating the large portrait through the corridors of Hogwarts – especially so with Deryk narrating the journey like a bloody Quidditch commentator the entire way, with me having to tell him to shut up every two minutes.

Not to mention we would probably find ourselves in detention if we were caught lugging the big-headed Quidditch player around the castle, which is why it was handy that the other inhabitants of Hogwarts were busy either teaching or learning, giving us a clear passage.

We finally made it into the Ravenclaw common room, and I almost broke my spell on Deryk as I looked around in awe. I had never been in another House’s common room. I wasn’t even allowed in another House’s common room. I mean, not that I couldn’t have found a way to get into one if I had really wanted to.

Which I never had.

I was amazed at how bright and shiny and blue everything was. It kind of reminded me of James Potter’s dormitory to be honest. Not that I particularly wanted to be reminded of where that git of a Head Boy slept. I can’t even believe that I had been in his room before.

Eww.

Next, however, we faced the problem of where to actually put Deryks’ frame, as there wasn’t exactly a spare blank stretch of wall just waiting there for his arrival. We settled on propping it up behind a bookcase in the Seventh Year boy’s dormitory. Deryk complained openly, as I was so used to him doing – but the moment he was on the wall he scampered off to the considerably smaller portrait of Annabelle the Fair anyway, which hung down in the common room.

“So, which one’s your bed?” I teased Xavier as he pushed me out of the door with a grin, and ordered me down the stairs.

I quickly located Deryk and, shielding my eyes from the disgusting public displays of affection that he and Annabelle – some blonde-haired medieval looking bint – were enacting, demanded him to give up the information.

“Alright, alright,” He agreed, tearing himself away from Annabelle long enough to answer. “Let me think. The bloke you want to look for, well, he’s rather tall.”

I raised my eyebrows incredulously. “Is that it? He’s tall.”

“Jeez, what is it with you and your bloody impatience,” Deryk swore, before apologising to Annabelle who had covered her ears in shock.

“He had dark hair that he kept pushing out of his eyes. Oh and his eyes, they were grey.”

I faltered, realising at once exactly who Deryk was talking about and wondering why I hadn’t thought it him before. Hadn’t I already witnessed how angry he had been at having to watch Greyback and Travers torture me, and not being able to do anything about it?

Well, it seemed like this time he had done something about it – and not only something that had saved my life, but something that had ensured the protection of his own as well.

He had been the one to warn Deryk what would happen the night of the full moon, and make sure that he did it in a way that wouldn’t cause any suspicion that Professor Dumbledore and the others had been tipped off by one of the Death Eaters own.

“What is he talking about?” Xavier asked as I bolted from the common room with him behind me, calling my thanks to Deryk over my shoulder.

“The guy who saved my life,” I explained bluntly. “The night I was attacked by Greyback.”

Xavier shook his head, not quite understanding. “I thought that Dumbledore and the others were the ones who saved you?”

“Yes, but how do you think they knew to go there in the first place?” I asked, trying to make him understand. “They were tipped off. By someone who already knew what was going to happen.”

“Who?”

“Regulus Black.” I concluded with absolute confidence.

Xaviers eyebrows knitted together darkly. “Why would he do that, if he was risking himself as well?”

“Because he’s braver than anyone’s ever given him credit for,” I answered, though mostly to myself, before adding.

“I had better get to class anyway – no doubt I’ll land myself another detention for being late.”

“I have a study break. You can always hang out with me?” Xavier offered, and I sent him a witty smile.

“Trying to lure me away from my academics? That’s very un-Ravenclaw of you.” I teased, and he rolled his eyes lazily.

“Yeah. Maybe it’s the Slytherin in me.”

I laughed openly. “Well, the Ravenclaw in me is telling me if I miss anymore classes, I’m in big trouble.”

Xavier nodded in understanding. “I think I can help you out a little, at least. Hand me a quill and some parchment.”

I did as he said and he managed, in what I’m sure was record time, to write up a rather convincing note, excusing me from class to go to the Hospital Wing, and signed by Madame Mellick herself.

“Wow,” I said, taking the note and marvelling at how credible it looked. “Perhaps you should have been sorted into Slytherin after all.”

I said goodbye to Xavier, swinging my bag over my shoulder and heading to my Defence class. I had barely tip-toed through the door when Professor Keyes shot his head up and drawled. “Twenty minutes late for class, Miss Cortez. I hope you have a good excuse, or you can cancel any plans you had for tonight.”

I sauntered to the front of the class and handed my note over to the pale, old man with a confident smile.

“Very well,” Professor Keyes said as he surveyed the note. “Why don’t you take a seat with Mr Potter and Mr Black, and they can fill you in on today’s task.”

I groaned under my breath. Perhaps I should have taken up Xavier’s offer to skip class, after all.

After Lucius and Bellatrix’s disappearance from Hogwarts, the classes had been become completely uneven. I spotted Remus, my usual Defence partner, seated with Isobel instead, and wondered if he was still mad at me.

As I strode to my table, near the back of the class, it seemed like these two Marauders were still everyone’s last choice for partners. Though I’m sure they hardly cared if it meant they got to pair up with each other.

I chose the seat next to James, rather than being stuck with Sirius on the other side. I really didn’t need him trying to distract me in yet another class.

“Good afternoon, Cortez,” James addressed me in a falsely pleasant voice as I sat down, though had his eyebrows raised mischievously. “Or should I say, Mrs Rosier.”

Both Sirius and I narrowed our eyes at him simultaneously from either side of him, and he shied back abruptly.

“Jeez. And here I was thinking weddings were supposed to be a happy occasion.” James answered cynically, and scribbled something down on a piece of parchment in front of him.

I rolled my eyes while pulling my parchment and quill out from my bag and setting them on the table in front of me, vaguely noticing Sirius whisper something to his best mate out the corner of my eye. I ignored them, instead taking my book and opening it to the chapter we were supposed to be working with.

That was, until someone cleared their throat next to my ear and I jumped in fright as James whispered to me, rather apprehensively. “Padfoot would like to know why you were late to class.”

I clenched my teeth in frustration, thoroughly resisting the urge to drop my book on James’ scruffy head, since Sirius’ was much too far away to reach.

“You can tell Padfoot,” I replied, with extra emphasise. “That it’s not actually any of his business.”

James shrugged absently and turned back to Sirius. “She said that –“

“Yeah. I heard her, mate.” Sirius cut him off, sounding awfully amused.

I started flipping through my book absent-mindedly, pretending to be doing something productive, when I heard James and Sirius start whispering again.

“I’m not going to ask that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t actually care what the answer will be.”

“Just do it will you?”

“I’m quite happy to trade seats with you so you can ask her yourself.”

“No!” I objected in an impatient whisper, interrupting their own whispered argument before realising that I had been digging my fingernails into the flesh of my own palm in annoyance. I took a deep breath to calm myself and asked with forced politeness.

“Can one of you just tell me what we’re doing here?”

Sirius looked past James at me and answered lowly, his dark hair falling over his eyes. “Well, I’m not too sure about the rest of the class. But Prongs and I are devising the best way to convince someone she’s marrying the wrong guy.”

I let out a disbelieving scoff, hoping to hell that no-one had heard him over the chatter from the rest of the class. I chanced a look at the table behind us where Isobel and Remus were gossiping away, and supposed it wouldn’t have mattered much if they had heard anyway, seeing as how Remus already knew about the, well, whatever it was between Sirius and I, and Isobel had her own valid suspicions.

“Blimey, speak for yourself.” James countered with wide eyes. “I personally couldn’t give an owl’s hoot who she marries.”

Sirius elbowed James roughly, and he checked himself. “Oh, I mean yes. That’s what we were doing.”

“Idiots.” I muttered under my breath, snatching James’ parchment off the table, despite his protests, and reading the title.

Dark Creatures and How to Counter Them.

Well, finally Keyes has decided to teach us something that might actually come in handy one day, I thought as I gave James’ his work back – of which he had only written the title and the name ‘Lily’ circled in a heart – and flipped through the pages of the chapter that I hadn’t actually read yet, scanning over the various pictures, and desperately trying to ignore the fact that Sirius was leaning back in his chair comfortably, shooting me knowing looks behind James back.

Jeez, do you think he could have made it any more obvious what he was up to? He might as well of just yelled across the classroom that we had kissed earlier that morning, and got it over with.

I mean, that he had kissed me. Because it was all his wrong-doing, of course.

Well, that’s what I like to tell myself, anyway.

I shot a glance across the room to where Evan was seated, hoping he wouldn’t be watching me with those hawkish eyes of his. I was surprised to see that he was seated with my sister, Serenity, again – talking lowly to her about something or other.

Whatever it was, it struck me as seriously weird.

I turned my attention back to my book, ignoring the nagging feeling that Evan was up to something that I knew nothing about, and tried to absorb the information.

And by tried I mean that I read the same line about fifty times over, still not having any clue as to what I was reading and uneasily aware of how my cheeks were flushing under the constant, amused stare of Sirius Black.

He knew that he was getting to me, and I would have strangled him for it if I hadn’t been forcefully and absolutely excluding from my life, as was my plan.

And Merlin knows that I was hell-bent on sticking to that plan. I had already proved to myself that I couldn’t be trusted to think sensibly around him, so this was my way of remedying that.

Though it would have been so much easier if I could have stopped my treacherous mind from thinking about how good of a kisser he is.

I flipped the page of my book in aggravation, and no longer had to worry about my mind wondering into treasonous places because in an instant a shock of horror ran through me.

It was as if someone had taken a precise picture of the beast that had haunted me these past weeks, and printed it on the page in front of my very eyes. Every part of it had been recorded in such vivid detail. The hunger in its eyes. The outstretched claws, waiting to strike and kill.

A Werewolf, taken from my very nightmares and cruelly inserted into my reality.

I could smell him in my mind as vividly and fresh and if I was still trapped in that clearing deep in the Forbidden Forest. The heat of his foul breath tortured me. The feeling of claws ripping through my flesh, sharp as knives, left me sweating in fear.

I struggled to set my mind straight, but it was as if something had ripped open the scars on my body and was forcing me to relive the pain of the attack over and over again.

It was only when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder that I was startled back to reality, and was met by the pale face of Professor Keyes staring down it me in concern.

“Miss Cortez?” He spoke lowly and I was terribly aware that every pair of eyes in the class was now resting upon me. “Are you feeling alright?”

I inhaled slowly, trying to steady the unnatural pounding of my heart. What the hell had come over me?

“I’m fine.” I assured him shakily.

I couldn’t help but notice Professor Keyes eyes drag across to the book that I still held open in my lap. He took in the image and then offered a small smile. I couldn’t place it straight away, but there was something behind that smile that made me panic.

And then I realised.

It was pity.

Most, if not all, of the Hogwarts Professors knew about what had happened to me the night in the Forbidden Forest with Fenrir Greyback. A fair few of them were there themselves, Keyes most probably amongst them, given the subject he taught.

“Perhaps you should go back to the Hospital Wing?” He offered smoothly, still sending me that sympathetic smile of his.

Oh no, Mr Vampire-Defence man, you do not get to pity me. I’m not some dumb, defenceless girl who shuts down at the mere thought of some rogue werewolf who wants to hunt me down and turn me into one of his kind.

Well, obviously I was. But I sure as hell didn’t plan on being for much longer.

“I’m fine.” I said, more firmly this time, and Keyes gave an understanding nod before striding back to the front of the classroom.

I started breathing a little more freely as eventually the rest of the class went back to their work. Evan shot me a questioning glance from his table, a little further towards the front of the classroom, but I only had to mouth to him that I was okay for him to turn around and go back to his work, or conspiring with my twin, or whatever else it was he was doing up there.

Letting out a weary sigh, I tried to assess my situation. Wasn’t the whole point of me marrying Evan so that I would be put out of the way of anything that was a danger to me? Obviously the biggest threat I could think of to my life came from Voldemort, who was enraged over my family’s refusal to support him. But second of course came from Fenrir Greyback – who’s failure to turn me, or kill me or whatever plans he had in that sadistic mind for me had surely heightened his intent to do so.

Evan had guaranteed me safety from that, though even after I had agreed to his proposal, I found myself still unable to wholly commit my mind to the fact that no horror was going to rise from my nightmares and hunt me down.

How could I truly trust, that a Wizard as wild as Greyback, having being banished by his master for his failure of subduing me – was not going to take matters into his own hands, and do as he pleased now that he had no-one to answer to.

That fact of the matter was that I could not. But I was so desperate for the sense of security that Evan and his Father were offering me – that I had to try.

I was distracted by the sound of a low moan of protest from next to me, as Sirius reached over James, snatched my Defence book out of my hands where he then proceeded to rip out the Werewolf page, crumple it into a ball and send it flying across the length of the room – earning a detention from Professor Keyes for littering his classroom.

He then propped the book back in front of me, wearing a triumphant smile and I shook my head at him disapprovingly, as I didn’t think he realised that I actually needed the information on that page to complete my work.

If this was him trying to gain points – it wasn’t working.

I spent the rest of the class trying to absorb myself in my work, and tune out everything else going on around me. I had already made the first step in my attempt to protect myself from the dangers of the world outside Hogwarts – the last thing I needed to do was spend my time questioning the validity of it.

By the time class had finally finished, I handed my work to Professor Keyes – all complete except for the Werewolf section. Though I was hoping he would overlook that.

**

At dinner that evening, I was seated with Isobel when the boys of the Slytherin Quidditch team bustled into the Hall and all but fell onto the benches around us, exhausted from a strenuous training session.

I felt bad for them really – having to deal with their former Captain ditching Hogwarts, and finding a new player for the team, all with their second match of the season barely over a week away.

I glanced briefly at Regulus as he sat across from me – his sombre, grey eyes purposefully averted. I desperately wanted to talk to him, to let him know that I knew all about what he had done for me. But I knew that finding the time to do that in private might prove to be a little difficult.

“How’d it go?” I asked Evan, who had slumped down next to me with a sigh.

It didn’t come as much of a surprise to me that Evan had been made Captain shortly after Lucius’ departure. He and Rodolphus were now the senior members of the team – and Merlin knows that sod all would have gotten done had Rod been made Captain.

Evan had already assigned a new Keeper for the team, and was breaking his back to get him fit and ready for next week’s game against Ravenclaw.

“Rab’s a fair blocker – but it’s going to take a hell of a lot of work to train him to at least a decent skill-level by next week.” Evan said with a helpless shrug.

The way he spoke didn’t sound too optimistic.

Rabastan had been made the new Keeper for the team, much to his delight. It seemed that when Lucius had been Captain, he had been less than willing to give him the chance at a spot on the team.

“So you’ll be pretty busy, huh?” I asked, somewhat hopefully.

Evan gave me a small grin and tapped me under the chin affectionately. “I’ll still have plenty of time for you – don’t you worry about that.”

I smiled in return, though a little uneasily. It wasn’t exactly like I didn’t want to spend time with Evan, I knew that I was going to have to sooner or later; it was more that I was still trying to come to terms with what exactly was going on between us.

Though honestly, I had to admit that it relieved me that he was still taking an interest in something normal. He seemed pretty intent on getting the team ready for their second game of the season, which I was grateful for, as I hoped it would keep his mind off any Voldemort business for a short while at least.

“So, I was wondering,” I started, a little hesitantly, “what you and my sister were debating in class today?”

Evan hesitated a second before answering. “Serenity knows about us.”

“That’s hardly a surprise – I’m sure the whole school knows by now.” I countered, and Evan shrugged in agreement.

“Well it seems she’s taken it upon herself to try to break up the whole thing.” He drawled, clearly not impressed.

I raised my eyebrows incredulously. “She what?”

But Evan never got the chance to answer, as a sudden hush fell upon the student body. Looking around the hall, I noticed Professor Dumbledore standing behind the ornate wooden dais perched at the front of the Hall, dressed in simple navy-blue robes – his hands held up to quiet the chattering students.

“I’m sure that you are all eagerly awaiting your dinner, but before it is served I have a few words I wish to say to you all.” Dumbledore spoke – his quick, blue eyes scanning the faces in front of him.

“Many will have heard by now the rumours of mysterious disappearances, tragic deaths and the rising of a new rebellion opposing the place of Muggle-born Witches and Wizards in our world. It is my great misfortune to have to tell you that these are hardly rumours at all.” He stated, and I froze. Why was he choosing to bring up the topic of Voldemort now? Surely most of the students already knew all of this.

“Lord Voldemort is very much a reality for all of us.”

A shuddering gasp ran through the students, most of whom had started whispering fervently to one another. Dumbledore patiently waited for the whispering to cease before he spoke again.

“Some of your parents, I'm sure, would not wish for me to tell you this – for no doubt they know as well as I the danger that Lord Voldemort poses to our world. To them, I would say that there is no fault in wanting to protect your children against the terrors of this world. But I would also tell them that in some circumstances, the best defence one can have is knowledge.”

I snuck a glance at Evan, who was staring down at the table as if he wasn’t taking in a single word. I felt incredibly uncomfortable – what would he and the other Slytherins who supported Voldemorts campaign make of Dumbledores speech?

“In this time of uncertainty, I must ask this of you,” Dumbledore continued, his tone nothing but serious. “Look to your fellow classmates for strength and support. This is not a time to single out the differences between ourselves, but to realise that we live in a world where we are free to grow and develop our magical talents – whether we be pure-blooded, half-blooded or muggle-born – and it is no-one’s duty to take that freedom away from us.”

“We are truly stronger united as one, than we are divided as many. It is my belief that unanimity is our best hope at fighting this threat, because believe me when I say that this man – this dark Wizard – is not someone who any of us should take lightly.”

I inhaled sharply – looking towards the Gryffindor table and remembering Remus’ words to me not too long ago. He had said that once we were out in the world fighting for our freedom, it wouldn’t matter if we had been in Slytherin or Gryffindor or any other House – all that will matter is that we’ll be fighting for the same thing.

It seemed like Dumbledore was trying to convince us of the exact same view – but just how many people would it work on?

“It is with that message that I now address our senior students. In light of recent events, myself and the staff here at Hogwarts have decided among ourselves to construct a special programme for our Seventh Year students – to guide and prepare you to withstand the dangers of the Dark Arts. Though it is my greatest wish that none of you will ever have to be troubled with the task of doing so.”

My head jerked towards Dumbledore immediately. Could he possibly have been meaning the night in the Forbidden Forest when Greyback attacked me? I didn’t know, but if this new programme could help me overcome my fear of Greyback by learning to survive him – then I wanted in.

“Like a soldier prepares himself for battle, so too we must train ourselves in the wake of this newest danger. Every Tuesday and Thursday evening you will meet here in this hall for specialised, advanced lessons. I must tell you now that this programme is by no means compulsory for any of you. I know that you have a difficult year with the prospect of your NEWT exams looming closer. But I also strongly warn you that when you one day leave the protective walls of this castle – your very knowledge may be the best defence you have.”

If that was the case – then knowledge was exactly what I planned on gaining.


	30. The Ties That Bind

The Minister of Magic was afraid - that much I established from my meeting with him. And to me, that meant only one thing. Something was not right in our world.  
  
In fact, something was very,  _very_  wrong.  
  
Dugald McPhail was one of the youngest Ministers that the Ministry had ever appointed, having not yet reached thirty, and was thus far highly regarded for his valiant nature and ability for keeping the harmony between both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.  
  
But upon seeing the usually cheerful man so nervous and edgy, I realised that the Ministry was far from having the situation concerning Voldemort under its control.  
  
I chewed my lower lip nervously as the Minister paced around a small space behind me, where I sat in front of Professor Dumbledore’s large desk, wringing his hands in agitation.  
  
“Any information you have on the Death Eaters identities would be  _extremely_  helpful to the Ministry, Miss Cortez.” He insisted for at least the fourth time that morning, his voice laced with a thick, Scottish accent.  
  
I let out a low sigh, daring not to meet his anxious, blue eyes. I could hardly understand how hard it must be for a Minister so young to have to cope with a rebellious Dark Wizard threatening the very values that he stood for. And I did want to help him in any way that I could, really.  
  
I’d already told him most of the information that I knew – that Emelio Travers and Fenrir Greyback had been in the Forbidden Forest the night I was taken, as well as Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black. The others, I’d told him, had been masked and so therefore their identities had been hidden from me.  
  
I wasn’t about to mention the fact that my future husband had also been present that night, because I knew Evan was the key to my safety and I was hardly going to screw that all up. The others I protected because, even though Rodolphus hadn’t been particularly supportive of mine and Evan’s union, I still loved them and I hoped, foolishly, that maybe there was still a way out of this for all of us.  
  
“I’ve told you everything I know.” I answered firmly, and Dugald stopped beside my chair and fixed his handsome eyes on me, as if there might be some hidden secrets floating around somewhere inside my brain that I hadn’t yet told him. I felt rather uneasy lying to the man who was in charge of keeping our world safe from people like Voldemort and his Death Eaters, though I had my reasons.  
  
Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat quietly from where he was seated behind his old desk and Dugald, snapping himself out of whatever thoughts were rolling around in his head, nodded slowly and forced a calm smile. “Yes, you’ve been very helpful. I do thank you for your time, Miss Cortez.”  
  
An unpleasant feeling of guilt washed over me, as I knew I hadn’t been half as helpful as I could have been.  
  
“I am truly sorry for the ordeal that you have been through,” Dugald added in a gentle voice, this time much more genuine. “You can be assured that our Aurors are doing everything to capture your kidnappers and bring them to justice.” He spoke, before turning to offer a hand to Dumbledore over his desk. “I must get back to the Ministry, Albus. It’s been a pleasure to see you, as always.”  
  
With a last goodbye, he strode to the large doors which marked the entrance to the office, and left with them thudding behind him softly. I didn’t leave Dumbledore’s office straight-away. Long after the door had closed behind the Minister, and his footsteps faded I sat, quite motionless, dutifully ignoring my guilty conscience as the realisation behind the Minister’s unusual behaviour began to dawn on me.  
  
I let my head fall down into my hands in utter despair and Dumbledore, with his endless patience, sat quietly until I spoke first.  
  
“It’s worse than I thought, isn’t it?” I asked after a long moment, my voice slipping through my fingers in a shaky whisper. The old man nodded softly – his midnight-blue eyes solemnly surveying me from behind his half moon spectacles. He clasped his hands on the desk in front of him before answering.  
  
“Yes. Lord Voldemort is gaining support at an incredibly alarming pace, and from all over the world. Crime and violence is increasing all over the country, and as you have already seen, the stress is taking its toll on the Minister.”  
  
I let my mind absorb the information, filtering through the gaps and trying to convince myself that keeping certain information from the Minister wasn’t going to worsen the situation. Dugald was supposedly a great leader, but his behaviour left a lot to be answered for  
  
“Dugald is a good man, and he has many loyal supporters.” Dumbledore continued, as if he were reading my very thoughts. “I have no doubt that he will lead us through these dark times as best he can.”  
  
I nodded softly, knowing that there was no question whether he would do everything within his power to take Voldemort down.  
  
But still, there was something ominous lurking just behind that knowledge, and I found myself thinking that there was no way that knowing that would ever be enough. Because in all honesty, seeing myself the fear that Voldemort had injected so deeply into the Minister  _terrified_  me. If the very man, who was charged with the well-being of every Witch and Wizard in the country, was in a predominant state of terror, then what did that mean for the rest of us?  
  
“What if his best isn’t enough?” I questioned Dumbledore bluntly, who sighed as if he had been expecting the question all along.  
  
“I know how you must feel, Alexandra. We expect our leaders to stand strong in the face of adversity, often forgetting that they, like us, are only human.” Dumbledore answered, though I hardly found his words much help. “We mustn’t lose faith in the Ministry, but we cannot rely on them to win this battle for us.”  
  
“Then what are we supposed to do?” I asked, feeling a slight tinge of panic begin to rise in me and my voice go shrill with it. “Sit back and hope for the  _best_?”  
  
“No,” Dumbledore answered firmly, “My advice to you would be to prepare yourself. You are a gifted Witch, and more than capable of surviving these dark times. Attend the advanced classes – gain as much knowledge as you can from your Professors, who are masters of the very subjects they teach – and you will soon find that even though there are many who cannot see it, there is hope.”  
  
I laughed darkly – a low, bitter sound – and pushed myself up from my chair. It was easy for Dumbledore to look so positively on the matter. The man had already taken down one Dark Wizard in his time, there was little thought that he would fall to another. But unfortunately for me, our Minister of Magic had taken whatever thread of hope I may have had remaining with him when he walked out those doors.  
  
“Miss Cortez,” Dumbledore interrupted my departure, and I turned to find him edging his way around his desk. “I know I’m just a mad, old man, but there is not a lot that escapes me within the walls of Hogwarts. I feel I must ask you, very seriously, if you are making the right choices for your life?”  
  
I raised my eyebrows incredulously, “I suppose you’re talking about my marriage plans?” I quipped, as that seemed to be all that was on anyone’s tongue of late.  
  
“I have no qualms about Mr Rosier – he has a good heart, I think – but I rather feel that he too is being led in the wrong direction.” Dumbledore answered thoughtfully. “But I want to talk about you, as an individual. Have you made any progress in deciding what you will do once you graduate from Hogwarts?”  
  
I shook my head reluctantly – it was hardly a priority of mine these days.  
  
“You know, your sister, Serenity, is taking steps to become a Healer like your Father. I think she’d be very well suited to the profession, don’t you?”  
  
I snorted rather ungracefully at the information, hardly surprised. Serenity had loved roaming the halls of St Mungo’s ever since we were young, tagging along behind staff and befriending patients. Though I detested ever having to compare myself to my Mother, I supposed that I must have inherited her view on Hospitals, rather preferring to avoid them completely.  
  
“There are  _many_  paths to choose from when you leave Hogwarts, not all of them as straight forward as perhaps a Healer or a Potioneers’ may be. As I mentioned earlier, we cannot rely on the Ministry to win this battle for us. Perhaps that will be something for you to think about over the coming months.”  
  
I assured Dumbledore I’d think about it, before leaving his office in a state of utter confusion, feeling as if I hadn’t quite absorbed the whole meaning behind his words. Something thick hung in the air, something unspoken, though I couldn’t quite place it.  
  
When I finally let go of the thought, it was to find myself ambling through the drafty corridors, my legs taking me in no particular direction. It was mid-morning, and though the first classes of the day were due to come to an end at any minute, I had no desire to head on to my next class, which I had been excused from anyway. I had just made up my mind to head to the library, in search of some much needed information, when the corridors suddenly flooded with students, and it wasn't long before I found myself lost in the crowd.  
  
I settled for following the flow of people in the general direction of the library – that was until I spotted the distinct blonde-head of Evan Rosier heading towards me, flanked on either side by Rodolphus and Severus – and I hastily slipped down one of the quieter side corridors unnoticed, until the three of them had passed by.  
  
I let out a low sigh and leaned back against the cold stone of the wall as I waited. They all knew what my meeting with Dumbledore and the Minister this morning was about, and would no doubt be eager to question me about it, if only just to confirm that I hadn't ratted out their presence in the Forest that night. But the longer I could hold off sharing the details of my meeting with them, the better.  
  
It wasn't long before I found myself slipping through the small doors into the library – tip-toeing past the old librarian, who didn’t so much as bat an eyelash at my presence. The sky outside the windows was dismally grey, as usual, which only served to make the library feel all the more bleak.  
  
I crossed to the nearest aisle and browsed through the many books that lined the shelves, though quickly grew restless when I could find nothing helpful. I supposed that the real information I was looking for would be held in the restricted section – which thankfully the senior students were allowed access to. I quietly slipped through the access-way, which was charmed to only allow sixth and seventh year pupils to pass, and wandered through the dingy rows of books.  
  
The restricted area was immensely more foreboding than the general, where most students hung about to study. The only light came from small orbs which glowed faintly on the roof, casting an eerie glow about the place.  
  
How anyone was actually supposed to  _read_  in this light was beyond me.  
  
I navigated my way to the ‘Magical Creatures’ aisle and scanned over the titles before me. There were plenty of titles covering various dark creatures, but I was looking for something more specific. I ran my fingers along the old, leather spines of the books – some with titles too faded with age to read – until something caught my eye.  
  
 _“Werewolves: Who They Are and How They Came To Be.” By Tiberius Earnshaw._  
  
I pulled the old volume from the shelf, studying the cover and taking in a deep breath of anticipation. If I was ever going to face my fear, then I had to know more about what I was up against. I couldn’t live in terror of coming face to face with Greyback again, and not being able to defend myself against him.  
  
I opened the book, noting how stiffly the pages turned and thought that it mustn’t have been used in a rather long time. Slowly I scanned the first couple of pages, on which were printed a foreword by the author, describing his travels to various parts of the world to study the strange and volatile beings.  
  
 “Fancy seeing  _you_  here.”  A low voice startled me, and as my heart lurched  in fright the book fell from my hands and landed with a heavy clunk on the carpeted floor.  
  
Holding a hand to my chest to steady my thumping heart, I scowled coldly at the dark-haired figure who was leaning against the side of a bookcase not too far away – arms folded in front of his chest casually, and a knowing grin playing on his lips.  
  
“You followed me.” I stated in annoyance, reaching down to pick up the book. “That’s really creepy, you know. Shouldn’t you be in class?”  
  
Sirius let out a short bark of laughter as he pushed himself off the bookcase. “And listen to Binns drone on about Goblin wars and Founders? I’d much rather shove my head in a Horntail’s mouth.”  
  
“Good luck getting it to fit.” I mumbled as I straightened up, protesting loudly when Sirius plucked the heavy book out of my hands and held it above his head, grinning down at me.  
  
“Besides,” He continued, ignoring my insult. “When else will we get to be alone?”  
  
“Try  _never_ ,” I countered in aggravation, reaching out for the book, though he kept dragging it up out of arms reach.  
  
“Give it back, Sirius.” I warned, and Sirius’ grin spread across his face roguishly.  
  
“What will you give me for it?”  
  
I raised my eyebrows at him impatiently, “How about a swift kick in the knee-cap?”  
  
Sirius let out a short laugh, dropping his arms and then encircling them around me so that he held the book behind my back. I tried to twist around but he held me tightly with his free arm, and I narrowed my eyes – trying desperately to ignore the rush of heat that spread through my body and left my head spinning.  
  
I swallowed thickly, hating the way that Sirius’ dark hair framed his face so perfectly, accentuating every chiselled detail and making his eyes so much brighter. He watched me, enjoying every second of my inner struggle against my feelings for him – the dark grin never leaving his lips as his lowered his head and whispered.  
  
“I was thinking of something a little more along these lines.”  
  
And then he pressed his lips against mine, and a shock of electricity ran though my body as he pressed me back against the bookcase and pushed himself against me, his hands strong and skilled as they traced the curves of my jaw, my neck, and down further still.  
  
It took every ounce of strength I had to break apart from him, and as soon as I did I felt as if a void had opened up between us.  
  
“You know I can’t.” I exhaled shakily, my voice a mere breath as I pushed a hand against his chest to distance him from me, as if his touch was the last thing I wanted. His breath was just as ragged as my own as he reached out to pull me back to him.  “I’m engaged now, Sirius. You  _can’t_  keep trying to mess with that.”  
  
Sirius let out a heavy breath and a low groan and narrowed his eyes at me resentfully.  
  
“Engaged,” He echoed – his voice a thread of bitterness. “How could I  _forget_?”  
  
Something about the tone of his voice made my heart ache, but I was quite unwilling to let my guard down. I answered him only with an ungracious scowl and took a few steps away from him, running a hand through my long hair in mutual frustration.  
  
“It’d be better for both of us if you didn’t.” I said, squeezing my eyes tightly shut and willing my heart to stop hammering so violently in my chest.  
  
“Why?” Sirius questioned hotly, taking my arm again and pulling me to face him. His eyes were suddenly dark and unnerving.  
  
“So that you can go on pretending like you haven’t abandoned everyone who cares about you just to save your own arse?”  
  
I glared at him spitefully, not daring to defend myself because I knew that he was speaking the truth. Somehow, I managed to take in a shaky breath and curb the desire to retort with a petty insult.  
  
“Just give me the book and leave.  _Please_.” I answered impatiently, swallowing thickly as a mixture of anger and guilt washed over me, threatening to break my calm facade.  
  
Sirius didn’t give me the book. Instead, he held it up and inspected the cover under the dim light. He flipped through the pages briefly, before closing the book with a loud thud and speaking darkly. “Not all Werewolves are like Greyback, you know.”  
  
“How could you possibly know that?” I asked sceptically, and Sirius shrugged absently, tilting his chin up arrogantly.  
  
“I know more then you could ever imagine.”  
  
I let my eyes roll back darkly, intrigued – yet not about to let him know that. “Well, that hardly helps  _me_  does it.”  
  
Sirius’ lips quirked upwards a little and he shook his head in disbelief, “You only have to  _ask_.”  
  
I clenched my jaw tight – hating that he was drawing me into wanting to know what he knew yet oddly finding myself yearning for his words. I thought he clearly had some kind of sadistic plan going on in that handsome head of his, but he wasn’t going to give me back the book that I needed, and I couldn’t just walk away without finding out something that would help me.  
  
“Fine, tell me.” I replied in defeat, folding my arms across my chest and pursing my lips impatiently, ignoring the rush of nervous heat that ran through me as he watched me through steely eyes.  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow in amusement. “What exactly do you want to know?”  
  
“Why do you think not all Werewolves are like Greyback?” I started, finally letting my curiosity getting the best of me. “How do you know that?”  
  
“One question at a time,” Sirius drawled, clearly enjoying having the upper hand. He dropped down to the ground and spread his legs out in front of him, letting his arms rest on his bent knees. Feeling awkwardly uncomfortable standing by myself, I soon joined him.  
  
“Most Werewolves, when transformed, just look like common wolves. Perhaps a little bigger though.” Sirius began, and my eyebrows furrowed in dark thought.  
  
“The one’s in books don’t look like that.” I countered dryly, and Sirius picked up the book off the floor beside him.  
  
“This,” He said, throwing the book down the aisle in disgust, “Is pure fiction. Do you really think half these authors would be alive to tell their stories after hunting packs of Werewolves all those years? I highly doubt it.”  
  
“How are you so sure?” I argued defensively. “I mean, I know what I’ve seen.”  
  
“And so do I,” Sirius cut me off hotly.  
  
I recoiled a little and answered through gritted teeth. “All I meant was that Greyback didn’t look like any common wolf I’ve ever seen.”  
  
“He’s a Dark Wizard, Alex,” Sirius explained, “The crimes he’s committed over time have warped the shape he takes when he transforms. The curse mimics the Wizards own soul. With one as dark as Greybacks, how can you expect it to look any different?”  
  
“How do you know so much about Greyback?” I questioned, remembering the day in Hogsmeade when he and Remus had spoken as if they already knew the beast.  
  
Sirius paused a moment in thought, before shrugging absently. “It’s like I’ve said before – James’ Dad gets passed a lot of information from the Ministry.”  
  
“He works there?” I asked sceptically, knowing next to nothing about the Potter family.  
  
 “He did.” Sirius faltered a little, his face growing dark, “But not anymore.”  
  
I paused, studying the sudden sadness that had washed over Sirius’ features like a cold, winter rain. To me, in that moment, I saw nothing of boy who used to curse me in the corridors and call me “snake”. I saw something much more human.  
  
“What happened?” I asked gently, finding myself leaning closer to him as if drawn by some invisible force.  
  
Sirius seemed much more intent on studying the carpeted floor. “He’s too sick to do much these days.”  
  
I was confused by his words for only a moment before it hit me, and then my stomach dropped.  
  
“Sick.” I repeated the word, my brain working in a series of patterns to connect the information, “So that’s who-“  
  
 “That’s who what?” Sirius cut me off darkly and I hesitated under his gaze, not wanting to speak the words. Though it seemed in this case I didn’t need to.  
  
“Remus told you.” Sirius breathed with absolute certainty, letting his head fall back dejectedly. “Just do me a favour and don’t go repeating it. For James’ sake.”  
  
Resisting the urge to tell him I’d never actually do anything for James’ sake, I consented.  
  
“You know, Remus doesn’t always find it so easy to trust others.” Sirius said suddenly. “It astounds me that he finds it so easy with you.”  
  
I frowned, a little offended. “Do you think he’s wrong to trust me?”  
  
“No,” Sirius answered truthfully, giving me a stern look. “Remus is often a pretty good judge of character. I would just hate to see it broken, as trust is something he values much more than most others.”  
  
“I would never willingly hurt him,” I countered softly, slightly stumbling on my next words. “Or  _you_ , for that matter.”  
  
Sirius offered a cold smile. “Then you condescend yourself, because everyday you’re still with Rosier causes me endless pain.”  
  
I rolled my eyes dryly, though Sirius cut me off with a disbelieving shake of his head. “Why do you not believe me when I tell you that?”  
  
I gave him a pointed look. “Because you could have your pick of any girl in the school, and I just don’t see why that girl should be me.”  
  
Sirius smiled a crooked grin, reaching out to pull me closer to him. I found myself quite unable to resist.  
  
 “You can’t help who you fall for. I’m sure you know that, otherwise you would have run to Rosier without a second thought.”  
  
I let out a shaky breath as his fingers tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind my ear. “What are you implying?”  
  
“That I think the only person you’re incapable of lying to is yourself,” Sirius answered, leaning forward so that he could run a hand down the side of my face and whisper softly, his breath warm and sweet on my lips. “Have you managed to convince yourself that you don’t want me yet?”  
  
It would have been so easy just to let him kiss me, and feel the warmth of his lips course through me like an uncontrollable fire. But I couldn’t let myself give in – because I knew that once I did, it was all over for me.  
  
I pulled back, jumping to my feet and striding a few paces away.  
  
“You can’t just ignore me this time, Alex.” Sirius said coldly as he pushed himself to his feet, and I threw my hands up in defeat.  
  
“What do you want me to say?” I questioned him heatedly. “That I don’t  _want_ to marry Evan? That I would rather live my life in constant fear of being murdered on Voldemorts command? Or hunted down by a psychotic Werewolf who wants nothing more than my blood?”  
  
“You don’t have to  _say_  you don’t want to marry him – I can see the truth plain enough on your face every day.” Sirius answered in a low growl, striding towards me and standing so close that he towered over me as he spoke. “What I want is for you to leave Rosier and give up this deluded idea that he’s the only one who can give you a future. I want you to know that you’re entirely capable of protecting yourself, and to trust that if that ever fails I  _will_  be there to defend you from anyone who would dare to harm you.”  
  
I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to do what he said but there was something inside me that made me hesitate.  
  
“I can’t,” I managed to choke out, and Sirius took my hands firmly in his.  
  
“I know you’re scared. But for as long as I know that you have some kind of feelings for me, I won’t give up on you. I’m asking you to trust me, Alex. I won’t fail you as he already has.”  
  
I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to hear his words. Because I knew that it was happening. I knew that he was breaking down the wall that I constantly fought so hard to try to keep up, and keep out the forces that I had no control over.  
  
I could control the way that I felt about Evan, and that, to me, made me feel safe. But the feelings that I had for Sirius overtook and consumed me in a way that terrified me and I knew that if I gave in I would never be able to control that torrent of emotion that burned so fierce.  
  
So the wall had to stay up, and I had to stay in control.  
  
“The thing is,” I said, snatching my hands from Sirius’ grasp, “I don’t trust you. Not one tiny, miniscule bit.”  
  
“Liar,” Sirius growled, lazily pulling me back against him. I let out a low groan, disentangling myself from his arms once again and giving him a firm push against the chest.  
  
Sirius raised his hands in defeat. “Fine,” he said, a weary grin playing on his lips. “I’ll be good, for now. But you can’t keep pushing me away forever.”  
  
“I can, and I will.” I argued through gritted teeth, and Sirius rolled his eyes and dismissed my words with a wave of his hand.  
  
“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” Sirius countered, his dark hair falling into his narrowed eyes as he nudged the Werewolf book on the ground towards me, before turning to leave. “Let me know when you really want to learn about Wolves. Until then, have fun with your dusty books.”  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  
  
Later that night I found myself slinking down the corridors of Hogwarts with Kendra and Isobel, heading for our very first advanced lesson. To be honest, I was a little apprehensive of the meeting, having previously told Evan that I was off elsewhere finishing up my Arithmancy homework.  
  
Evan hadn’t approved of the advanced classes, naturally, and had made a serious point of forbidding me to go. I wasn’t particularly fond of being told what to do, however, and besides – what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, right?  
  
We slipped into the Great Hall, noticing at once that the long tables had been removed from the room so that there was now nothing but an empty space. There was already a small group of people lingering at the front of the hall, some standing around chatting while others were seated on the small set of stone steps that led up to the Professors table.  
  
“Welcome, girls!” Professor Slughorn broke apart from the group at the sound of us entering, and gestured to us with a wide smile. “Come and join us.”  
  
By the looks of things we were the last to arrive, and I strolled over to where Xavier was standing off to the side of the group with Max and their fellow Ravenclaw, Oliver Oswald, and surveyed the room warily.  
  
All the seventh years were there, I noted, excluding a select few Slytherins. Sirius and James were lounging on the steps, surrounded by a gaggle of girls, and I scowled at a few of whom I recognised from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Remus and Peter were standing nearby. Lily and Serenity were huddled together further down the stairs with Selene Silver and Aurelianne Somers.  
  
“We’ll wait a few more minutes for any more students before we begin.” Slughorn announced, before returning to speaking animatedly with a couple of Hufflepuff boys. I chose not to tell him that the only students not present were the Slytherin boys – of whom he could be assured, would not show up – until I noticed one other absence.  
  
“Where’s Jeremy?” I questioned Xavier, suddenly noting the absence of their friend.  
  
“He’s been pulled out of Hogwarts.” Xavier answered gravely – his arms folded in front of his chest and a deep frown engraving his forehead. “He’s muggle-born. His parents know how dangerous things are getting, so they relocated overseas.”  
  
“Couldn’t even tell us where they were going.” Max added from where he stood with his arm slung around Kendra’s shoulders.  
  
I fought down the feeling of dread that washed over me and didn’t answer – I honestly didn’t know what to say.  
  
“Alright then, it looks like we have everyone here, so let us begin.” Slughorn bumbled as he wove his wand and a series of small tables appeared in a semi-circle before us, each bearing a small cauldron and ornate, wooden box.  
  
Slughorn instructed us to choose a table and I moved towards a small table next to Isobel, and froze suddenly as a dark-haired girl took the one on my other side.  
  
I groaned inwardly as Serenity stared at me pointedly, and prepared myself for the onslaught to come. It was pointless of her, of course, to think that she had any say in the matter between me and Evan. However that wouldn’t stop her from trying.  
  
“We will start the lesson with a basic Cure Potion, used for minor wounds and burns,” Slughorn addressed us from where he stood in the middle of the circle. “You will have already completed this potion in second year, but you can never forget how effective even the simplest of brews can be. It is as the old saying goes, practice makes perfect.”  
  
I cursed under my breath lowly. When I thought of advanced classes I had had the idea that we would be trained in duelling skills for battle, not slaving over cauldrons making potions simple enough for children to complete.  
  
“Once that potion has been perfected, you will move on to the Calming Draught – a potion highly useful in curing shock, and relaxing heavily wounded persons. And then finally, one of the most difficult healing potions of them all – the Blood Replenishing Potion. This final elixer will take a fortnight to mature, but the mixing must be flawless in order for it to do so. You will find recipes and ingredients in the boxes in front of you, and I will be here to offer my help if you should need it.”  
  
Slughorn left us to it, and I flipped the lid on the box and pulled out a few sheets of parchment, scanning the recipes. I had just lit my cauldron and began sorting the ingredients for my first potion when I heard a hiss in my ear.  
  
“Just what do you think you’re doing with  _Rosier_?”  
  
I turned to face my sister, studying the look of determination she wore. I let out an impatient sigh, not particularly willing to deal with her dramatics, but sensing I didn’t have much choice in the matter.  
  
“Save your breath, Serenity. I know what you’re about to say.” I answered dryly, not pausing from my work on my potion.  
  
“No, you  _don’t_.” Serenity insisted, and I scowled at her darkly.  
  
“Keep your nose out of it, would you.” I warned her in a low voice, flicking a few drops of peppermint oil into the cauldron in front of me.  
  
“Do you know that whenever I return home the twins beg me to tell them where you are and when you’re coming back? And Wilbur still sets a place for you at every meal.” Serenity said, her voice shaking a little with emotion.  
  
The twins she was referring to were Prim and Rosie – the two little House Elves who worked at my family’s manor. Wilbur was the older Elf who maintained the kitchen there. Unlike most House Elves, however, ours worked for wages. They had been victims of ill-treatment from their former owners, and my Father had taken it upon himself to give them a safe home and work.  
  
“Why exactly are you telling me this?” I asked, blankly.  
  
“Because if telling you how stupid and selfish you’re being isn’t going to work, then maybe this will.” Serenity answered in a low hiss. “Don’t you see that you’re only getting yourself deeper into trouble? I know we’ve grown apart the past couple of years but I don’t  _want_ to lose you completely, Ally.”  
  
I inhaled sharply, fed up with everyone who was trying to interfere with my life. “Well, unfortunately for you, Serenity, you really don’t have any say in the matter.”  
  
“Yeah, well what about Dad? Are you going to throw it back in his face when he tells you what a mistake it is to marry Evan Rosier?”  
  
“This is my decision!” I shrieked at her in a harsh whisper – my temper rising quickly. Everyone thought it was a bad idea, I knew that, but they had no idea how it felt to be the target of someone so terrifying and evil. To me, it felt as if there was no other way.  
  
Serenity sniffed, and swallowed thickly. “And it will be the death of you.”  
  
I rolled my eyes lazily, ignoring her tendency to turn everything into a freaking soap opera. I knew it was a dangerous game, but with Evan, at least, I could relish in a small sense of security.   
  
I went back to working on my Potions, the first and second of which were a cinch, trying to ignore the matter.  
  
The Blood Replenishing Potion was complicated – and I was surprised to see how easily Serenity completed the task on her first attempt. For me, my first try was an utter disaster resulting in a cauldron full of a liquid as black as the night sky and stinking of death. My second was a little better though still produced a liquid which was much too pale – almost pink – in colour. My third attempt was much better, and I felt a small sense of pride as I put the stopper on my vial of the blood-red potion while many others around me were still struggling with their attempts.  
  
It wasn’t too long after that Slughorn called the class to an end, instructing those who hadn’t yet perfected the potions to practice over the coming weeks and be ready to present them for our next meeting with him in a fortnight.  
  
I entered the Slytherin Common Room with Isobel and Kendra a little while later, to find it seemingly empty. It when I spotted the only inhabitant, a certain fair-headed boy lounging on one of the couches by the fire that I bid goodnight to the two girls and headed over towards the fireplace.  
  
Evan grinned at me as I approached and pulled me down next to him, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close. Almost immediately I noted the faint smell of Firewhiskey on his breath.  
  
“I was waiting for you,” He said as I curled up next to him, letting my head rest against his shoulder. “Did you get your work finished?”  
  
“All done, with some help from Kendra.” I lied, knowing the Kendra would never sell me out for it.  
  
Evan sat in silence for a few moments, before speaking again. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be hanging around her anymore. Or that girl Mosely, either. Given their families dirty blood.”  
  
I sat bolt upright, completely outraged.  
  
“Evan, _don’t_.” I warned in a low voice, narrowing my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare start thinking you can control who I choose to be friends with.”  
  
“I’m not trying to control anything, Alex.” Evan assured me, running a hand down my face gently. “I only say it to keep up appearances."  
  
I let out a low sigh as he traced a finger over my lips, studying them through midnight blue eyes.  
  
"All I care about is your safety. You know that, right?"  
  
I nodded slowly, letting my head rest against his hand and my eyes flicker closed briefly. And then he leaned forwards and kissed me – gently at first, and then growing increasingly rougher as he moved his lips down to my neck and his hands wherever he pleased.  
  
I couldn’t exactly say that I detested Evan’s touch, but there was hardly the same spark present as there was between Sirius and I, and I found myself longing for the heat and the electricity that I found with him. Still, I needed to keep up appearances – and if I could manage to convince myself in the process that Evan was what I wanted, than that was all the better for me.  
  
Though that thought hardly helped to keep Sirius’ voice from resounding in the back of my mind, clear and strong.  
  
 _Have you managed to convince yourself that you don’t want me yet?_  
  



	31. Breaking Down

I woke up to find myself tangled between softly strewn sheets and let out a low groan,  rubbing at my eyes lazily as they adjusted to the light before taking in the sight of the emerald curtains pulled tightly around my four poster.  
  
My mind was a little confused as the last dregs of sleep left me, and whatever dreams I had previously found myself plunged into faded away. I didn’t know what, exactly, but something felt  _different_.  
  
It wasn’t until the heavy curtains were abruptly drawn back and I was met by the sapphire-blue eyes of Evan Rosier, bare-chested and smiling softly, that I remembered that it wasn’t  _my_  four poster at all.  
  
“Morning, love,” Evan breathed softly as he bent to kiss me on the forehead, before straightening to pull a white t-shirt over his head.  
  
“Morning,” I murmured lowly, looking around the empty room, which was bathed in a murky, green light as the reflection of the lake from the small windows filtered through and danced on the stone walls.   
  
I watched as Evan took his wand from the bedside table and pointed in towards the four-poster, which gave a heavy shudder – it’s legs knocking against the carpeted floor – then remained still.  
  
“Thank Merlin for Privacy Charms, huh?” Evan grinned crookedly, and I groaned inwardly as the events of the night before flooded back to my memory.   
  
My mind lingered over the distinct feeling of fear that had overcome me and pushed me straight into Evans arms more then just one time this week. It was the fear of the feelings I held locked deep inside of me. The one’s that had started seeping through and threatened to break down the wall that I had always thought was so strong.  
  
In essence, it was the thought of my feelings for Sirius Black that terrified me.  
  
“I’m running late for the game,” Evan explained, and I wrinkled my nose in confusion before remembering that Saturday had arrived already, and the match between Slytherin and Ravenclaw was being held that morning. I hoped, for Evan’s sake at least, that we won.  
  
It was clear that even after he had pledged his service to Lord Voldemort, and discarded his hopes of joining the Falmouth Falcons after graduation, he still held the small threads that were left of his dream close. I thought that perhaps if Slytherin did take the Quidditch Cup again this year, it would encourage him to still try out for the Team, rather than get dragged down whole-heartedly into this impending war.  
  
I sighed at the thought, before sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed, reaching for my clothes which had been carelessly thrown into a pile on the floor, extremely self-conscious of the scars on my body as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I couldn’t explain  _why_  exactly, but an unnerving feeling of guilt had settled itself in my stomach.  
  
“I almost forgot,” Evan said as he finished pulling his Quidditch boots on and reached for a piece of parchment that sat on his bedside table. He handed the parchment to me.  
  
“This arrived yesterday.”  
  
I took what seemed to be a letter and read over. It was from Evan’s Father, and explained how happy he and Mrs Rosier were at the prospect of our marriage, and that he expected me to join Evan and his family at their estate on the next school break. After reading, I handed the letter back to Evan, concealing my disappointment that there wasn’t anything mentioning how The Dark Lord may have reacted to the news of mine and Evans engagement, and most of all, after all this time, If I was finally safe from him.  
  
“I better get going if I don’t want to miss the match. I am the Captain after all.” Evan said, and I grabbed out for his arm before he could leave.  
  
“Do me a favor, will you. Don’t be too hard on the Ravenclaws.” I requested, and Evan grinned, before leaning down to kiss me on the lips and whisper.  
  
“I’ll do whatever it takes to win.”  
  
I sighed in disapproval, wishing him luck anyway as he took a pair of Beaters gloves out of his top drawer and with a last wave goodbye, left the room. I waited until the sound of his footsteps on the staircase had disappeared before I got up and finished dressing.   
  
That lingering feeling of guilt still washed over me, but I ignored it forcefully. I was determined to make this thing with Evan work, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let  _anyone_  screw it all up.  
  
Soon after, I headed back to my own dormitory to shower, noting that the place was deserted.  After throwing on a clean set of clothes I started heading down to the Pitch. I had no sooner stepped outside the doors of the Entrance Hall when I heard the sound of shouts and cheers being carried up to the castle by the fierce wind, and thought the match must have started not too long ago.  
  
Once I had trudged down to the stands I pushed my way through the throngs of blue and emerald clad students to find a familiar face. A light rain was falling, and above the stands a cover had been erected to protect the students from the weather.  
  
“Alex, over here!” Isobel shrilled at me after a few minutes, finding me and pulling me towards the front of the stands. Her face was flushed as she smiled at me from beneath a green, woollen beret.   
  
She steered me in the direction of a wooden bannister which Kendra was leaning dangerously over, wearing a motley assortment of green and blue garments and screaming her lungs out at one player or another.   
  
“It’s such a close match!” Kendra explained as I huddled up beside her and watched the players streaking across the Pitch – the Ravenclaw Chasers throwing the Quaffle between themselves at a lightning speed.  
  
I spotted Evan soon enough, aiming a Bludger towards Oliver Oswald, who had just claimed possession of the Quaffle and was poising himself to take a shot at the hoops. He was momentarily distracted by the Bludger hurtling his way and dodged just before the ball could knock him off his broomstick.  
  
But then out of nowhere, Rodolphus dove from the fog that hung thick above the pitch – catching the Bludger with his bat and propelling it straight back towards Oliver.  
  
Oliver – not noticing until it was too late – was trying to back up his broom to avoid the blow. The Bludger, however, hit his handle with a  _crack_ and the tip of his broomstick shattered into pieces. Oliver reared back, trying to control his damaged broomstick in the process, but the Quaffle slipped right through his fingers and was sent plummeting towards the ground below.  
  
Before it could fall out of reach, a player clad in green, who I immediately recognised as Declan Vaisey, scooped it up, regaining height and speeding right down to the other end of the Pitch where Maxwell was guarding the three hoops for Ravenclaw. Declan took aim to shoot through the center hoop, feinting right before the shot and sending the Quaffle soaring right through the middle of the left hoop.  
  
The crowd around me went wild, and I could only just hear the sound of the commentator, some Hufflepuff bloke, through the noise announcing, “VAISEY SCORES HIS SECOND SHOT OF THE GAME! SLYTHERIN ARE IN THE LEAD 30-10!”  
  
The two Teams shot back into position, waiting a few minutes for Oliver to source a replacement broom before they could start the next round.  
  
The rain grew steadily heavier as the game progressed, and the fog that hung over the Pitch like a damp, grey blanket thickened still, until we spectators were forced to strain our eyes through the mist to watch the players.  
  
The players were neck and neck as the scores continued to increase evenly, and soon I gave up trying to see through the fog and sat huddled with Isobel and Kendra on one of the benches, chatting through the commotion around us.   
  
That was until a loud boom from the commentator announced, “SLYTHERIN SEEKER, REGULUS BLACK, IS DESCENDING DOWN TOWARDS THE PITCH AT A DANGEROUS SPEED! EITHER HE’S FALLEN FROM HIS BROOM, OR HE’S SPOTTED THE ELUSIVE SNITCH! IT’S A LITTLE HARD TO SEE THROUGH ALL THE MIST, FOLKS, BUT LET’S HOPE FOR HIS SAKE IT’S THE LATTER, EH?”  
  
My heart lurched in my chest as I jumped up as grasped the railing before me. Surely Regulus hadn’t fallen from his broom? He must have taken after the Snitch, I told myself.  
  
“INDEEED IT SEEMS BLACK IS ON THE TAIL OF THE GOLDEN SNITCH! BUT WILL HE BE ABLE TO KEEP IT IN HIS SIGHTS?”  
  
I strained to see what was going on through the dark clouds, but could only glimpse a flash of blue or green every now and then. The commentator, at least, seemed to be having a little less trouble.  
  
“RAVENCLAW SEEKER, GILLIS, IS STREAKING DOWN THE PITCH AT FULL FORCE! SHE’S A LITTLE LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT IT SEEMS SHE HAS THE SNITCH IN HER SIGHTS!”  
  
I chewed my bottom lip nervously. Ravenclaw’s Seeker, Grace Gillis, was in Regulus’ year, and like him it was her first year playing on the Team. I hoped that Reg could get hold of the Snitch before she could.  
  
“GILLIS IS HOT ON THE TRAIL OF BLACK, BUT BLACK ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT, HE’S LURCHED FORWARD AT TOP SPEED! GILLIS IS… SHE’S…. UHH… WHERE IS GILLIS? OH, THERE SHE IS! SHE’S FALLEN BACK A FAIR BIT, LEAVING THE SNITCH WIDE OPEN FOR BLACK!”  
  
I was all but jumping up and down in excitement, while Kendra and Isobel shouted words of encouragement to Regulus. It seemed that in spite of her relationship status, Kendra was still cheering for our Team, at least.  
  
“GILLIS IS GAINING SPEED AGAIN, BUT IS IT TOO LATE FOR HER TO REDEEM HERSELF? IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE BLACK HAS… HE HAS… HAS HE? OH YES, HE’S DONE IT! HE’S CAUGHT THE GOLDEN SNITCH! ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POINTS GO TO THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, SLYTHERIN!”  
  
As soon as the words were said I bolted from the stands, covering my ears to ward off the screams – of both excitement and disappointment – as I pushed my way out through the crowd and down the stairs to the ground. I made my way around the edge of the Pitch, and managed to catch Evan and the rest of the Team just as they were making their way to the locker rooms.  
  
“Congratulations!” I exclaimed, and Evan wrapped me up in his arms, grinning like a maniac.  
  
“It’s still not over yet,” He said, shrugging, though I could see the relief written all over his face. “Gryffindor have already won against Hufflepuff. Now we have to hope they’ll lose to Ravenclaw, then at least we’ll have a chance to smash them in a tie-breaker game.”  
  
“It was a tough game – I’m sure Ravenclaw have a good chance against them,” I said reassuringly, even though I’d barely seen the game at all.  
  
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” Evan grinned, his face still flushed. ”Hey we’re heading to the Hog’s Head tonight to celebrate. Will you come?”  
  
I hesitated. The Hog’s Head was a disgusting, dingy little pub and the last time I had been there I had found myself in nothing but trouble. I didn’t exactly want to be returning to the place after the memories that it held for me.  
  
Evan, sensing my apprehension ran his hands up and down my arms consolingly, though I could already feel my previous sense of excitement draining from me.  
  
“There’s nothing to worry about, Alex. It will only be the Team going. You’ll be safe.” He assured me, and I found myself nodding in consent.  
  
“Okay, I’ll go.”   
  
***  
  
A little later that night I was standing in front of the mirror in the dormitory bathroom, finishing off my makeup. I had chosen my favourite black mini-dress to wear, paired with a cropped dark-denim jacket, my Italian pumps and topped off with dark stockings to hide the scars on my leg.  I finished by applying a pale-pink gloss to my lips and flicked out my hair, which I had curled with my wand, letting it fall down around my shoulders.  
  
When at last I entered the dormitory again, it was to find Kendra and Isobel sitting together, talking quietly with Violet – who’s head jerked up anxiously at the sound of me entering. I had barely seen Violet in our dormitory these past couple of months. It seemed she had taken to coming in late, after we were asleep, and leaving first thing in the morning before we woke.  
  
I had seen her in class, sure, but that didn’t mean that I’d had any kind of social interaction with her. Nor did I particularly want to.  
  
“What’s going on here?” I asked Kendra and Isobel coldly, from where I stood in the bathroom doorway, but it was Violet who answered.  
  
“I was telling them how sorry I am for the way I’d been acting, and for everything that happened with Lucius.” She explained, her brown eyes glistening.  
  
I sniffed, ignoring her apology as I strolled over to pick up my purse from my bed. I had told Kendra and Isobel that Evan and I had a date. I hadn’t, however, dared to tell them  _where_.  
  
My hand was on the door handle, reaching to turn it and leave when Violet spoke next.  
  
“I  _really_ am sorry, Alex,” She pleaded, though I didn’t bother to turn and face her. I just didn’t want to  _deal_  with her right now, or ever for that matter.  I hadn’t forgotten that my whole life had started spinning out of control ever since the night I had caught Lucius and her together.  
  
“You have no idea what Lucius was like – the kind of games he played with my mind!” Violet said, and I sighed, dropping my hands from the handle.  
  
I had every idea of the games Lucius played, and of how much he enjoyed doing so. He was manipulative, cold and cruel and even I, who had always been judged the same, had fallen for his lies. Could I honestly have expected Violet to resist them?  
  
“I understand,” I answered softly, hearing the sigh of relief come from behind me before adding, “But that doesn’t mean I forgive you.”  
  
I shut the door behind me, hard, and I traipsed down the staircase to the Common Room where I found Evan waiting for me alone, dressed in a casual suit jacket, over dark jeans and a white shirt with his hair casually slicked back off his face. Really, he looked nothing short of gorgeous.  
  
He grinned at me crookedly as I descended the last step to the room. “You look stunning,” he breathed, taking me by the hand and kissing me briefly before leading me towards the entrance to the corridors.  
  
“Where’s everyone else?” I asked as we stepped through the opening and the stony snake closed the way behind us.  
  
“I told them to go ahead without us,” Evan answered, amused, “We all know how long you take to get ready.”  
  
I smacked him on the arm in mock offense and he chuckled as we snuck through the chilly castle.  
  
It only took a short while to walk down to Hogsmeade, though we did have to duck behind a tree at one point when we spotted a couple of figures walking down the lane towards us. Good thing we did too, as it turned out to be Professors Slughorn and Flitwick, stumbling up the road together after a visit to the Broomsticks.  
  
It seemed we weren’t the only one’s celebrating the game today.  
  
We soon turned down the alleyway towards the Hog’s Head and I could immediately hear the low beat of music, growing louder as we approached the pub. Evan pushed open the dingy door and we were immediately met by the loud, pumping noise of music and the enveloping rush of warmth from the large fireplace that sat at one end of the crowded room.  
  
A series of shouts praising the Captain reached our ears as we closed the door behind us, and I quickly realised that it was not only the Slytherin Team who was joining us. The team was seated together near the fireplace. Severus was there too, and a couple of other Slytherin students including Lance Avery, Dorian Mulciber and a posse of girls I recognised but whose names I couldn’t think of.  
  
There were also at least a dozen faces I didn’t recognise and two particular one’s that I did. Evan took my hand, leading me towards the group while he praised his team for their efforts during the game. But I wasn’t listening to a word anyone was saying, because seeing the two of them sitting there with not a care in the world, made my stomach lurch in disgust.  
  
Bellatrix was perched upon Rodolphus’ lap, wearing a simple black dress, and holding her drink in the air as a toast, making some kind of reference to the lack of Ravenclaws abilities, though in much more colourful words. Rodolphus himself already looked as if he had had a few too many drinks.  
  
But it was the other presence who set me on edge – his eyes, the colour of ice boring into my own and his thin lips twisted into a cruel smile. The very sight of him elicited a mix of dread and anger from me, and it wasn’t until someone grabbed me by my hand and pulled me down into a chair that I blinked my narrowed eyes and snapped out of my daze.  
  
I turned to see who had hold of my hand and found Regulus, his dark eyebrows raised curiously.  
  
“Everything okay?” He asked – his eyes flickering towards Lucius for the briefest of seconds.  
  
“Yeah.” I breathed, relieved that he was here with me, at least.  
  
Evans laughter distracted me as he took the seat next to me – agreeing with Bellatrix’s remarks and snapping his fingers at the bartender to bring a round of drinks to the table. It was then that Bellatrix fixed her black eyes on me and curled her lips into a sneer.   
  
To say that she looked different would be an understatement. She was still beautiful – she would always be beautiful, but she looked  _drained_ somehow. Her curls had lost their shine, instead they hung wildly around her shoulders, dry and untamed. She had dark circles under her eyes which only served to make her already slim face look hollow and gaunt.  
  
“Looks like you finally got what you wanted, Evan,” She said, her voice as high-pitched and shrill as ever. “I hope she’s worth the fortune your parents are paying for her.”  
  
 I narrowed my eyes at Bellatrix, unable to hold my tongue, “And I hope joining this rebellion is worth losing your beauty over. You look a mess.”  
  
“And you look positively  _tormented_ ,” She countered bitterly, narrowing her dark eyes at me, “Still pining over that good-for nothing blood-traitor, are we?”  
  
Evan tensed next to me, but it was Rodolphus who cut her off.   
  
“Enough,” He growled distastefully, banging his glass down onto the table and giving Bellatrix a push off of his lap. “Go see where that damn barkeep is with our drinks.”  
  
Bellatrix glowered at me before slinking off to do as she was bid and I looked to Evan, whose jaw was set tight in anger. I didn’t say anything – I didn’t want to provoke him, so I let him be.  
  
A few moments later, the same grizzly old bartender who had been here the first time I had stepped into this pub, set a large tray full of drinks onto the table. I wondered if he knew the majority of us were Hogwarts students, but then thought he probably wouldn’t care even if we were. This place certainly looked as if it could use a bit of coin.  
  
He scowled at us sourly – his blue eyes narrowed in distaste as he hobbled back behind the bar and disappeared. Evan reached for a glass of what looked like Fire-whiskey, and tossed it down his throat in a single gulp. I eyed the drinks apprehensively; noting the filthy glasses they sat in, though one look across the table at Lucius made me realise there was no way I was mentally stable enough to make it through the night sober.  
  
As the night went on, everyone found themselves scattered around the pub, and I found that so long as I avoided the eyes of Lucius and Bellatrix, it wasn’t all that bad.   
  
I was heading back from the bar, drink in hand, when an arm slipped itself around my waist and I found myself being ushered to a small, cosy table in one of the window alcoves. I steadied my drink, taking care not to spill it over myself as I was gently guided down into a chair, before I could turn and face my kidnapper.  
  
“Alexandra Cortez,” The kidnapper said by way of greeting. I recognised him instantly and groaned. “My, how you’ve grown.”  
  
I snorted rather ungraciously before replying sarcastically, “Nice to see you too, Selwyn.”  
  
Noah Selwyn was a former Slytherin and Quidditch Captain of Hogwarts, who had graduated two years ago. He and his best mates Walden McNair, and Samael Gibbon, who were also seated at the small table with us, were the resident Hogwarts bad boys during their time.  
  
“What are you doing wasting your time with Rosier, huh?” Noah asked, smiling dangerously as he lay a hand on my thigh, “You know I haven’t forgotten our little rendezvous, even after all this time.”  
  
I slapped his hand away fiercely and barked in protest, “Piss off, Noah!”  
  
Noah backed off grinning, and holding his hands up in defeat, “C’mon, Alex, I’m only kidding around. Me and the boys are playing a drinking game. Play with us.”  
  
He winked his blue eyes at me and I glowered at him. Noah had always been a sleazy piece of work. I made out with him in a broom-closet once. It was in my fifth year, and he had just broken up with his long-term girlfriend, a Ravenclaw, Daisy Fortescue. Bellatrix convinced me that if I snogged him it would get us in with the popular crowd, who we couldn’t wait to grow up and be just like.  
  
It worked – for about a day. Once Daisy found out about Noah and me she started spreading a whole book of nasty rumours. That was until Severus taught me a hex to make her spit out only curse words every time she spoke. It took a week for the Professors to figure out how to counter the hex, and it earned me a month of detentions, but Daisy never messed with me again.  
  
Noah, however, after figuring out I wasn’t going to let him into my pants, moved on to the next poor, defenceless girl. It took me a whole thirty seconds to get over it.  
  
“You know you want to, Alex” Samael attempted, holding a pair of dice in his outstretched hands. Samael Gibbon was a large, blonde-headed guy, and was as bawdy and boisterous as they came. Walden McNair, who sat on my other side, was the complete opposite. He had always been unnervingly quiet – the dark-haired boy with the thin face and quick, black eyes.   
  
“Maybe next time, boys.” I said absently, noticing Evans sharp eyes watching the group of us.  
  
“You used to be more fun, Cortez!” Noah teased as I walked away from the table, and I flipped him an obscene hand gesture before heading over to where Evan sat in a small booth in a dark corner with Rodolphus, Declan Vaisey and Erastus Wilkes – handing a bottle of fire-whiskey back and forth as they filled up their glasses.  
  
I slid into the seat next to Evan, who wrapped an arm around my waist, and sipped at my drink – feeling the liquid fire run down my throat and spread warmth through my body.  
  
“What were you doing with those guys?” Evan asked, and I rolled my eyes at his jealousy.  
  
“Nothing. Selwyn was just being an arse, as usual.” I replied coolly, tossing back the remains of my drink and pouring another from the bottle.  
  
Evan raised his eyebrows, but didn’t comment any further.  
  
The five of us sat comfortably for a while, drinking and laughing, my head growing steadily foggier with every glass that emptied. Even Rodolphus had lightened up a little, and had joined in on the conversation.  
  
That was until Bellatrix came sauntering over, and his mood darkened once more. I found myself wondering, briefly, what was going on with the two of them.  
  
Not wanting to be within a five foot radius of Bellatrix, I whispered to Evan that I was going out to get some air before standing, a little unsteadily, and pushing my way past the various people standing around.  
  
A blast of cold, wintry air met me as I stumbled out of the pub and into the dimly lit alley. There were a couple of guys I didn’t recognise smoking cigarettes nearby. One of them whistled at me and called me over, but I ignored him, instead heading in the other direction a little further, rubbing my hands up and down my arms and wishing I was still wearing my jacket.  
  
I halted when I reached the main street, leaning back against a wooden wall of a nearby building to steady myself from swaying. I stayed in the shadows, not wanting to be caught if there were any other Professors hanging around the village ‘celebrating’.  
  
I let my eyes close for a brief moment – letting the dizziness pass over me. When I opened them my heart lurched in fright, because sitting in front of me – with its tongue lolling from its mouth contentedly – was a large, black dog.  
  
My hand clutched my chest instantly, trying to steady the pounding of my heart though the dog, however, didn’t seem to realise it has just given me the fright of my life as it loped over to where I was standing and began to nuzzle my legs gently.  
  
“Shoo,” I said, trying to wave the dog away. It  _was_ rather cute, though I didn’t need the mangy mutt hanging around me all night.  
  
“Shoo! Go away, will you.” I tried again, and the dog sat back, whimpering.  
  
I would have almost felt bad for it if I hadn’t heard a voice behind me sneer, “Maybe that isn’t such a good idea, love. It may be the only friend you have left.”  
  
“Lucius,” I breathed as the sensation of cold dread ran through my body, “I’ll have you know I have plenty of friends, thank you very much.”  
  
“Ah, yes,” Lucius answered, looking awfully amused, “Muggle-lovers and blood-traitors. Forgive me, Alexandra, if I don’t sound particularly  _envious_ of the company you keep these days.”  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him, not about to take the bait and be dragged into another game of his.  
  
“Just tell me what you want, Lucius, because it’s obviously not the pleasure of my company.”  
  
Lucius let out a dark laugh, stepping towards me slowly, “Look at you, so high and mighty. Queen Alexandra, on top of the world again.”  
  
He halted barely an inch away from me, but I didn’t move. I  _couldn’t_  move. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he got under my skin. Lucius raised a hand gently, tracing a cold finger over my cheek before moving his hand to run through my raven curls. His touch made my hair positively stand on end.  
  
“The Rosiers might have bought your safety for now – but you’re forgetting the one danger who won’t be overcome by Galleons. The rogue Werewolf who thirsts for your blood.”  
  
I gritted my teeth against the fear that those very words sent coursing through me. Next to us, I could hear the large dog begin to growl lowly – its sharp teeth bared in a dangerous snarl. Lucius curled his hand around the back of my head grabbing a fistful of dark hair in his hand, immobilising me.  
  
“He can’t get to me.” I spat through clenched teeth, feeling a very real sense of danger begin to bubble up inside me. The dog was barking now, gnashing its teeth hungrily.  
  
Lucius grinned darkly, ignoring the animal, and whispered lowly, “Maybe not on his own. But with a little help, well, who knows what could happen?”  
  
In a whir of black fur the dog lunged before I could even gather the breath to reply, sinking its teeth into the flesh of Lucius’ leg. Lucius let out a groan of pain and dropped to the icy ground, reaching into his coat and grabbing for his wand.  
  
Without hesitation, I grabbed the dog by the scruff of its neck, tugging harder until it released its grip on Lucius’ leg.   
  
Lucius had gotten what he deserved, I knew that, but if the mutt hung around for much longer it would be dead – and I wasn’t about to let that happen to the innocent creature.  
  
“What the hell is going on out here?” My head whipped up at the sound of the approaching figure, just as Lucius had pulled his wand free and aimed it at the dog, who continued to growl lowly nearby.  
  
In an instant Lucius’ wand was propelled clean out of his hand and straight into the hand of Regulus, who was advancing on the pair of us with his own wand raised.  
  
“Reg…” I breathed, reaching for him as he pulled me into his arms and asked, “Are you okay?”  
  
“She’s fine. Just being overly dramatic, as usual,” Lucius drawled as he pushed himself to his feet and dusted the dirt from his cloak, before snatching his wand back from Regulus’ hand.  
  
“I wasn’t asking  _you_ ,” Regulus spat venomously, as he removed his own woollen jacket and pulled it around my shoulders tightly.  
  
Lucius stared at him icily, “Mind your tongue,  _Black_ , or I might just have it cut right out.”  
  
And then he turned on his heel, limping on an injured leg as he made his way back towards the pub.  
  
Regulus ignored the remark, wrapping an arm around my waist and saying, “C’mon, let’s get you back inside.”  
  
I let him guide me back towards the Hog’s Head for a short distance, pulling the jacket tight around me for warmth, before saying, “I haven’t congratulated you yet on winning the game today.”  
  
Regulus shrugged indifferently, “It was a fluke. I couldn’t see a damn thing out there, so I just flew around in circles until the Snitch flew past me.”  
  
I laughed lightly, “Lucky it flew past you first then and not Gillis.”  
  
Regulus nodded in approval, and we walked in a comfortable silence until we made it back to the building. It was then that I halted.  
  
“Wait, Reg, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.  
  
“I know, but now’s not the time,” Regulus responded as he reached out to push open the door.  
  
“Stop,” I insisted firmly, dragging his arm back before it could make contact with the surface, “I have to do it now. I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.”  
  
Regulus let out a deep sigh, before turning to face me, “Fine. But not here.”  
  
“Hold onto me.” I instructed, and as soon as Regulus had placed his arms around my waist I closed my eyes tightly, pulled up the first clear location that came to mind and felt the familiar tugging sensation as I Apparated and the world spun around us in a cloud of chaos and contortion.  
  
It was only when I felt my feet touch firmly onto the ground that I let my eyes flutter open and take in the surroundings.  
  
We were standing on the small platform belonging to Hogsmeade station, where the Express departed from on every journey home. It also marked the point that was the closest you could Apparate towards Hogwarts, before the castle’s security spells made it possible to continue only on foot.  
  
As soon as the spinning sensation died down in my head, I looked up at Regulus.  
  
“It was you that night, Reg, wasn’t it? You’re the one who-“  
  
“Shhhh,” Regulus cut me off in a whisper, holding a finger to my lips to silence me as he glanced around nervously.  
  
I brushed his hand away, taking the hint, even though I doubted anyone could overhear us from where we currently were.  
  
“I told you I wouldn’t let them touch you,” Regulus breathed, his voice laced with bitterness as he turned away from me and kicked at the ground, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think that good for nothing portrait would take so long delivering the message.”  
  
I breathed in softly, hating seeing Regulus so wounded. He had grown up so fast, and in such a short space of time. I felt like he was at an age where he should be out enjoying himself – laughing with friends, and chasing after girls. Not stuck frozen in this state of solemness and despair.   
  
“That’s not your fault, Reg,” I answered, “I’m lucky that Dumbledore and the other’s showed up at all.”  
  
“Lucky?” Regulus turned on me, his hands clenched into tight fists. “I risked my life to save yours that night, Alex, and now look where you are, right back in the thick of it! I don’t understand why, if you’re so  _lucky_ , you don’t keep fifty feet away from us all!”  
  
“Reg, I-“  
  
“No. Don’t speak,” Regulus cut me off with an angry wave of his hand. “You know that Travers is still conducting investigations into how Dumbledore found out you were taken that night? The Dark Lord can’t stand the sight of him, so now he’ll do anything to remedy that.”  
  
“You really think Travers will find out what you did?” I asked, feeling a sense of dread wash over me. I  _couldn’t_  let Regulus get hurt over something he had done for me. He didn’t deserve it.  
  
Regulus shrugged stiffly, running an exasperated hand through his dark hair, “I don’t know. But if he does, I’m  _dead_.”  
  
“I understand that you’re scared-“  
  
“I’m not scared of dying!” Regulus cut me off hotly, his grey eyes flashing with white rage as he towered above me, “What I’m afraid of is dying for nothing.”  
  
“For nothing?” I repeated, finally understanding what he was trying to tell me, “You think I’m going to get myself into trouble again, and the risk you took to save me will have meant nothing.”  
  
“It doesn’t mean  _nothing_ , Alex. It never would.” Regulus countered, clearly annoyed. “But yes, I think if you continue down this path with Evan you’ll only find yourself in trouble again. You have to admit, you are quite a magnet for it.”  
  
“That’s hardly my  _fault_ ,” I snapped, taking my turn to be annoyed, “Everyone wants  _something_  from me. They want me to marry Evan, they want me  _not_  to marry Evan. They want my loyalty, my family, my cooperation. I wish I was never born a Pure-blood! Maybe then everyone would just leave me the hell alone!”  
  
“You know that’s not true,” Regulus said sadly, “Being a Pure-blood comes with its own set of disadvantages, but so does everything else.”  
  
I inhaled sharply, trying to calm the anger bubbling up inside of me.   
  
“I know the threat that Greyback poses, but he can’t get to me,” I argued stubbornly, trying to shake away Lucius’ words to me.  
  
 _With a little help, well, who knows what could happen._  
  
“How do you know that, Alex?” Regulus barked in reply, “You shouldn’t underestimate him. He might not be in The Dark Lords favor anymore, but he certainly won’t be alone. Wolves are pack animals – you can be assured that Werewolves aren’t all that different in that regard.”  
  
“There’s no way he can get into Hogwarts,” I countered, thinking that maybe if I said it enough, I might start believing it.  
  
Regulus laughed bitterly, “You won’t be at Hogwarts forever. Think about that.”  
  
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded, ignoring the fear that crept into my heart every single time I thought about the prospect of ever having to leave the castle that I regarded as my strongest form of protection, “Are you  _trying_  to terrify me?”   
  
“I’m trying to talk some sense into you! But you’re so goddamn stubborn that you never listen to anyone’s opinion but your own!”  
  
“That’s not true,” I countered bitterly  
  
“I heard what Lucius said to you, and as much as I  _despise_  him, I think he’s right,” Regulus continued, unbeknownst to my inner struggle. “The Rosier’s might be able to guard you against The Dark Lord for as long as it suits him to have their wealth at his disposal, but what good will Galleons do you when you’re being ripped to shreds!”  
  
“Don’t…” I warned Regulus in a low voice as yellow eyes invaded my vision, jumping out at me from every shadow and every dark corner and that raspy voice filled every inch of me until it hurt just to breathe.  
  
“Greyback almost killed you last time, Alex. And I’d bet anything that when The Dark Lord’s done with the Rosier’s money, he’ll kill the lot of you out of spite! Do you really think he’s going to sit comfortably while his followers whisper amongst themselves about how you defied him, and lived to tell the story?”  
  
I shook my head, not saying a word. All I knew of Voldemort was what others had always told me. How was I to know what he would and wouldn’t do?  
  
“The way I see it is you have two very different and  _very_  dangerous enemies on your back. And with the way that you’re going, you’re not going to survive either of them.”  
  
“Reg, stop…” I gasped, fighting against images of ragged claws and torn flesh. The smell of dirt and blood filled my head and I grew dizzy with it. The world swam in front of me in a torrent of crimson and I supressed the urge to retch up the contents of my stomach as I reached out for something to steady myself, feeling my mind falling down and down into darkness.  
  
When I opened my eyes, it was to the sight of steely-grey eyes peering down at me in anguish.  
  
“Alex, I’m sorry… are you okay?” Regulus breathed, his arms propped under my elbows to keep me upright.  
  
It was then that I heard the howling.


	32. Love and War

I ran. The fragile skin under my feet pounded against the gravel as I sprinted down the rocky hill, throbbing with every step. My lungs were aching and grasping for air by the time I reached the streets of Hogsmeade, but I pressed myself on through the dimly lit village.  
  
Because the howl I had heard just moments ago had not been one of rage, or attack. It was one of  _pain_.  
  
My high heels swayed in my hand as I ran and I wished fervently that I had worn more comfortable footwear. I could hear Regulus shouting at me from a little further back, trying to keep up as I headed straight for the small alleyway that would turn down to The Hog’s Head.  
  
I skidded around the corner in time to see Lucius Malfoy, surrounded by three other men, shoot a curse of electric orange light towards a large ball of black fur, which instantly crumpled to a heap on the cold ground.  
  
Without thinking, I shot down the alleyway and launched myself at Lucius, catching him quite by surprise as I knocked him down into the dirt. He tried desperately to fight me off as I positioned my knees on either side of his waist, and with my wand all but forgotten, violently took a full swing at his face with a closed fist, hitting him square in the nose.  
  
Lucius let out a sharp cry of pain, and would have blasted me clean off of him had I not been grabbed around the waist firmly and dragged backwards across the icy ground.  
  
I struggled against the powerful arms that held me, but they only tightened around me more and a silky voice whispered warm against my ear, “Now, now. Be a good girl and calm down for me, hmm?”  
  
I realised in an instant that it was Noah Selwyn that held me imprisoned and I trembled in fury, scratching against his arms desperately as I fought for release. Samael Gibbon and Walden McNair had rushed to help Lucius to his feet, where he dusted himself off and turned, pointing his wand at me. A trickle of scarlet blood was visibly running down from his nose.  
  
“You  _bitch_!” He snarled, wiping away the blood with a gloved hand and stepping so close that his wand dug painfully into my throat. “How _dare_ you lay your hands on me.”  
  
I heard shouts of fury as Regulus had only just managed to catch up and upon finding the scene playing out in front of him, he immediately drew his wand.  
  
“Back off, Lucius,” Regulus warned in a low voice, though Lucius only sneered and held his position.  
  
A small whimper drew my attention to the crumpled heap of fur – the same dog that had bitten Lucius earlier in the night. I watched helplessly as it attempted to stand, though one of its front paws was clearly injured – perhaps even broken – and it stumbled with the pain of it.  
  
I could feel the anger bubbling under the surface of my skin, making my cheeks burn with the heat of it and I fought harder to free myself from Noahs’ grip, but it was useless against his strength.  
  
“You monster!” I shouted at Lucius, striking out my leg and aiming a kick at him, though he stepped back at the same time that Noah pulled me tight against his chest and chuckled lowly, his breath sending small puffs of air against the back of my neck.  
  
Lucius narrowed his ice-blue eyes at me, looking nothing short of murderous. However now confident that I was suitably restrained, he focused his attention on Regulus.  
  
“Lower your wand, Regulus,” The pale boy spoke slowly, every word laced with a dangerous venom.  
  
Regulus looked between Lucius and me slowly, never wavering.  
  
“Let Alex go, and we’ll leave quietly,” he argued, and Lucius inhaled sharply in anger.  
  
“No,” He said, his voice a low warning, “For far too long Alexandra has been allowed to do and say whatever she pleases. It’s time that someone taught her a lesson. She must understand that being a blood-traitor lessens her ranking to that of a useless Mud-blood.”  
  
Regulus’ stormy eyes darkened, and he stood firm. “If you harm her in any way, Lucius, I swear I’ll –“  
  
“You’ll what?” Lucius cut him off abruptly, “You know there is nothing you can do. I am the favoured one!  _Me._  Back down before I’m forced to deal with you myself!”  
  
The door to the Hog’s Head swung open and new voices echoed out into the night. Bella strutted out first, raising her eyebrows in amusement at the scene she found. Rodolphus, Rabastan and Severus followed behind her, watching the exchange apprehensively, and then finally came Evan, looking nothing but livid as he burst through the door and brushed past the rest of them.  
  
“Evan!” I called out for help, praising Salazar that they had heard the commotion from inside.  
  
Evan took in the scene in front of him – first glancing over Regulus with his wand directed at Lucius, then to Noah restraining me – his face scarlet with anger.  
  
“What the  _fuck_  is going on out here?”  
  
Lucius, never flinching, responded first.  
  
“Your stubborn little wife-to-be is merely being taught her place. I highly recommend you step aside until we’re finished here.”  
  
Evan narrowed his usually bright eyes at Lucius darkly.  
  
“Are you insane? Let her go, Selwyn,” He demanded, though Noah merely grinned roguishly and wrapped his arms around my waist, taunting him.  
  
“I don’t know, I’d say she’s quite happy where she is.”  
  
“That was a command, not an option,” Evan pointed a finger at Noah in warning, “Let her go  _now_.”  
  
Noah let out a bark of laughter, and shrugged his shoulders carelessly.  
  
“If you want her – come and get her.”  
  
Evan didn’t have to be told twice. He struck at Noah without delay, snatching me into his arms and out of the way before he pummelled his fist into Noahs disbelieving face. Noah let out a growl of fury and tackled Evan – both of them landing in a heap on the ground in a tangle of flying fists and curses.  
  
It didn’t take long before Samael and Walden were racing to their friends rescue – though found their way suitably blocked by the Lestrange brothers, who each launched at the older men, only adding to the chaos all around us.  
  
Regulus had taken advantage of the distraction to shoot a Disarming Spell at Lucius, who protected himself with a Shield Charm just in time. I quickly scrambled out of the way as the two of them carried on with their duel – sending sparks of flashing lights streaming up and down the narrow alleyway – only to find myself face to face with Bellatrix, who smirked knowingly and promptly grabbed a fistful of my long hair, yanking so furiously that I was forced to fall to my knees, warm tears blurring my vision as the pain shot through my skull like a blade.  
  
Taking advantage of my weakness, Bellatrix sent a kick at my stomach with her high-heeled foot – and I doubled over with the pain of it, though recovered in time to take advantage of my position and kick her legs out from under her, bringing her down to the ground.  
  
I lunged at the wild-haired girl, punching, clawing and pulling as we struggled against each other in the cold dirt of Hogsmeades’ streets.  
  
It was only a few brief minutes, however, before we heard the furious voice of Lucius echoing off the walls around us and we stopped abruptly – pushing ourselves to our feet. Evan strode over to me – blood trickling down the side of his face and dirt falling through his blonde hair – and pulled me into his arms and out of Bellatrix’s clutches.  
  
“Are you okay?” He asked sharply, searching my face for any sign of injury.  
  
Apart from a throbbing head from Bellatrix almost tearing my hair out, and a painful cheek from the madwoman’s head butt – I was okay.  
  
A sinister chuckle diverted my attention back to Lucius, who was walking towards the pair of us slowly – holding a wand in each hand, one of which must have been Regulus’.   
  
Regulus himself was struggling to his feet not far away, and I resisted the urge to help him, thinking it much too dangerous to leave the safety of Evans grasp.  
  
“I always thought your feelings for Alexandra were an inconvenience, but this has gone much too far. You see how she divides us all?” He hissed accusingly, “We must work together. The Dark Lord will accept nothing less.”  
  
“Stop, Lucius. I can deal with it.” Evan replied, his voice bitter, as he turned his dark gaze on me.  
  
“Alex, go back to the castle.”  
  
I shot a disbelieving look at him, my brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
“I’m  _not_  leaving.”  
  
Lucius snorted ungracefully “Look at this defiance! It’s not acceptable for the Wife of a Death Eater. How thankful I am that I didn’t end up stuck with a spineless traitor like you, Alexandra, really I am grateful.”  
  
I rolled my eyes at his insult and spat, “Trust me, I’m pretty overjoyed myself.”  
  
Lucius, however, had a familiar look in his eyes. A look I remembered only too well, as it signified that there was something he thought that he could hold over me.  
  
“My newly betrothed would never dream of raising her voice against me.”  
  
“You… your what?” I asked, recoiling in fear of what his next words would be.  
  
It was then that Lucius smiled with all the twisted joy that he was getting from watching me squirm under his gaze.  
  
“Oh, didn’t you know? Narcissa and I are to be married, love.”  
  
 _No, not Cissy. Please, Merlin, anyone but Cissy_.  
  
My eyes flashed white with blind, hot fury and I made another lunge at Lucius. I wanted to hurt him more than I’d wanted to hurt anyone in my life. I wanted to dig my nails into his flesh, and gauge out his eyeballs, and pull out his hair and do anything…  _anything…_  to stop him from wedding little Narcissa.  
  
I didn’t get to do any of that, however, as Evan pulled me back and growled, “Get back to the castle  _now_ , Alex! Get the hell out of my sight!”  
  
For a brief moment the entirety of my rage was focused solely on Evan, and I pushed him away from me in disgust.   
  
“Don’t you dare treat me like I’m yours to command,” I spat – every syllable a fiery stab to his pride.  
  
I began to trudge away from the scene in absolute fury, before remembering the poor dog that Lucius had been torturing and went back to try and coax it into following me, not caring that every pair of eyes were on me – judging, pitying,  _hating_.  
  
The dog hobbled after me – it’s injured paw raised painfully as it made use of its other three legs to pitter-patter along. It wasn’t until I was on the main street of Hogsmeade, and far out of range of the others that I stooped down next to the dog to assess it. His left paw was bent a little out of place, and I was sure then that it was broken.  
  
“I’m sorry that they did that to you,” I sighed lowly, not caring that the dog couldn’t understand a word I was saying. “I’m sure someone at Hogwarts can fix that up.”  
  
The dog responded by nuzzling his wet nose against my face and licking my cheek affectionately.  
  
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”  
  
But the dog didn’t follow. He gave me one last look and a small bark before hobbling off across the street, and around the back of Honeyduke’s sweets shop.  
  
I thought about following him, but eventually shrugged my shoulders and continued back towards Hogwarts, hoping that he was someone else’s pet, and they could tend to his broken paw themselves in the morning.  
  
It was odd, and I couldn’t really explain why – but I had the feeling that he would be okay.  
  
***  
  
On Monday morning I slumped into my seat in Potions, thoroughly annoyed that this, out of all subjects, had to be the first class of the week.  
  
I had spent the rest of the weekend mostly in my room, or lounging around the Common Room with Kendra and Isobel – mostly doing anything I could to avoid Evan and his increasingly unnerving temper.  
  
That didn’t prove to be so hard to do, however, as he seemed to be just as pissed off with me about the events at Hogsmeade as I was with him.  
  
I scowled at the back of Evans sandy-blonde head where he sat across the classroom, and I thought back to the night in Hogsmeade, and the way that he had spoken to me. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand the stress that he was going through and that he was trying to make a good impression with the Dark Lord.  
  
But I had always thought that marriage was a partnership, and that we would be entering into it together, as equals. I couldn’t help the shadows of doubt that were creeping into my mind and telling me that perhaps that was not the case.  
  
Something inside of me was screaming out – warning me that perhaps I would never be as safe in Evans’ company as I had thought. And I couldn’t help but think about my conversation with Regulus. About how angry he had been at risking his life for me only to have me throw myself back into this dangerous world.  
  
A rustle beside me startled me from my thoughts, and Sirius sank into his chair, shooting me a careless wink.   
  
I ignored him, tapping my fingers on the wooden desk in front of me impatiently, as Slughorn bustled in to start the lesson, running his fingers over his golden-blonde moustache habitually.  
  
The task for the day would be a Wiggenweld Potion – a Potion that Slughorn assured us, was one of the most important for accurate ingredients and precise brewing, both of which called for perfect teamwork.  
  
“This is going to seem like an odd request, but I’ll be needing you to get our ingredients today.” Sirius drawled once we were instructed to start our Potion.  
  
“Why, are your arms broken?” I enquired sarcastically, not sparing a glance at the dark-haired boy as I pulled my Potions book from my bag for the recipe.  
  
“Well, as a matter of fact.”  
  
Sirius indicated to his left arm, which he had tucked protectively against him, and rather ungraciously I pulled back the sleeve of his uniform, earning a wince from the boy as the bandages underneath were revealed.  
  
“It’s not all that bad,” He explained nonchalantly, taking note of my alarm, “Mellick says it should be back to normal in another day or two.”  
  
“How did this happen?” I asked, forcing myself to stay calm.  
  
I didn’t know why, but the sight of seeing Sirius injured made me feel incredibly uneasy.  
  
Sirius shrugged his shoulders carelessly. “Practicing passes on the Pitch with James over the weekend. I got a bit distracted and the Quaffle knocked me clean off my broom.”  
  
I searched his face – the way he leaned back in his chair and lowered his eyes. I had looked into those eyes too many times to believe that what he was telling me now was the truth.  
  
“Don’t lie to me, Sirius.”  
  
“I am not bloody lying.”  
  
 I clicked my tongue impatiently, “You don’t lie often, but when you do, your eyes give it away. I’m not as stupid as you might think.”  
  
Sirius made to say something but I interrupted him briskly.  
  
“Tell me the  _truth_.”  
  
I raised my eyebrows expectantly, and Sirius sighed and ran the fingers of his uninjured arm through his dark hair.  
  
“Is there a problem over here, Miss Cortez? Mr Black?”  
  
I cursed Slughorn as he waddled over to our desk, drawing the eyes of the rest of the students to us.  
  
“None at all, Professor,” Sirius answered for the both of us with a smooth smile at our Professor, and I let out a little sound of frustration before brushing past Slughorn and to the store cupboard.  
  
The rest of the lesson I spent being relatively quiet – not wanting to draw any attention, especially from Evan, to Sirius and I. It worked out rather well, however, as Slughorn had not been joking about the complexity of the Wiggenweld Potion. One tiny mistake could lead to absolute mayhem, as was demonstrated by a few of the other pairs in the class.  
  
Sirius would wince every now and then with the pain in his arm, as he was measuring Salamander Blood or adding Lionfish Spines to the cauldron, and my stomach would tighten every time, hating seeing the pain that he was in.  
  
I only wished somehow that I could make it stop.  
  
That, however, only served to make me feel like an even bigger hypocrite. How could I expect to take his pain away when I was hurting him just by being with Evan. I forced myself to push the thought from my mind, knowing that I couldn’t afford to be thinking like that.  
  
The end result of our Potion was meant to be a green colour, giving off a scent similar to that of honey and mint. Ours was more of a turquoise, although the smell was correct, and Slughorn assured us that it was an excellent result as it was.  
  
When the lesson was over, Sirius ruffled my hair affectionately before leaving to meet his friends. I promptly followed him out of the classroom and fell into step beside him. Sirius raised his eyebrows inquisitively, but said nothing.  
  
Thankfully Remus, and his other daft friends James and Peter, melted away back into the throng of students leaving the dungeons, giving us some privacy.  
  
“So, are you going to tell me what really happened, or not?” I asked lowly, noting how Sirius slowed his step to match mine.  
  
“I’ve already told you what happened.” He replied lightly, and I rolled my eyes darkly.  
  
“We both know that’s not really what happene-“  
  
“Look, Alex,” Sirius rounded on me and put his good hand on my shoulder, cutting me off abruptly, “There are some things you just can’t know. Maybe if things were different, well… well they’re not.”  
  
“But, I-“  
  
“I know you care, but just trust me on this.”  
  
I wasn’t happy with the outcome, but reluctantly, I nodded my head in consent and Sirius gave me a roguish grin and tapped me under the chin affectionately.  
  
“Hey, Black!”  
  
A booming voice cut through the crowd of students and echoed off the stone walls. I turned in shock towards the source of the noise, only to find Evan pushing his way past a couple of people to reach us and shove an accusing finger in Sirius’ face.  
  
“Keep your filthy hands off my girl.”  
  
Immediately, I pushed Evans arm away from Sirius, painfully aware of the many curious eyes that had stopped to stare at us.  
  
“Evan, don’t-“  
  
“Relax, Rosier.” Sirius replied, holding up his uninjured hand, “Nothing’s going on here.”  
  
Evan looked far from convinced.  
  
“You think I’m stupid, huh?” He spoke bitterly, obviously not caring who heard, “Like I don’t see the way you look at her.”  
  
Sirius chuckled darkly, “You’re delusional, mate.”  
  
Evan looked murderous – I could see that he was trying to hold himself back from throttling Sirius, or whatever else he had in his mind to do. But I was damned if I was going to let that happen. Evan was being completely explosive – something that he had been increasingly often as late.  
  
“Alex, let’s go.” Evan commanded, taking me by the arm roughly.  
  
I protested loudly and pulled back my arm in pain, rubbing at the red mark that was quickly developing and staring daggers at the fair-haired boy.  
  
When he went to grab my arm again, Sirius stepped between us and pushed Evan back forcefully.  
  
“Don’t touch her.”  
  
Evan couldn’t hide the fact that he looked completely taken aback.  
  
“Don’t tell me what to do, Black. She’s  _my_  girlfriend, I’ll do whatever I please.” He answered bitterly.  
  
“Yours, huh?” Sirius asked, amused, and a very real sense of dread crept into the pit of my stomach as I watched the corners of his handsome mouth turn upwards into a winning grin.  
  
“So, Rosier – when you kiss her, does she do that little thing where she bites your lip? Like she just can’t get enough?” He smirked darkly, and I inhaled sharply, “Or is that just with me?”  
  
Evan had thrown his first punch at Sirius before I had even had the chance to scream at him to shut his big, stupid mouth. I recoiled in fright as Sirius grabbed Evan by the collar and pushed him back into the stone wall, ignoring his injury and using his good arm to punch Evan right in the nose.  
  
It wasn’t long before James and Remus were jumping in to pull Sirius back, and Rodolphus was using himself as a human shield between the two furious boys.  
  
“I knew it. I  _knew_  there was something going on between the two of you.” Evan rounded on me furiously – attempting to stifle the dark blood that was gushing from his nose with the sleeve on his uniform.   
  
“Evan, I-“  
  
“Save your breath, I don’t want to hear it,” Evan snarled before turning and skulking away down the corridor.  
  
I could faintly hear the booming voice of Professor Slughorn in the background, who must have heard the commotion and come out from his office. I briefly noticed James scuttling to his side – perhaps to make up some story to cover for his friend – but I dutifully ignored them both.  
  
Instead, I rounded on Sirius with a very real sense of danger that I could feel bubbling up inside of me.  
  
“What the hell is wrong with you!”  
  
Sirius folded his arms across his chest stubbornly. “Like he wouldn’t have found out sooner or later.”  
  
I was so mad I could have actually throttled the boy myself.  
  
“No, actually, he wouldn’t have!” I screamed at him – not caring about anyone who had stuck around to watch the drama unfold. “Just stay the hell out of it!”  
  
“Alex, wait…” Sirius reasoned, trying to pull me in. I shrugged him off mercilessly.  
  
“Get your hands off me! All you do is make things worse. Just leave me alone, Sirius.”  
  
“Fine, if that’s what you really want, I’m done.” Sirius spat bitterly, holding his hands up and backing away from me.  
  
I didn’t stay to say more – I bolted through the dungeons and out into the corridors of Hogwarts, searching desperately for Evan. I just couldn’t let this be the end – I wouldn’t let this compromise my safety. Like it or not, Evan was the best chance that I had.  
  
I strode the path towards the Hospital Wing, hoping that Evan would be heading there to get his nose fixed up. It wasn’t long before I turned a corner and found him on the same path.   
  
“Evan, wait!”  
  
I yelled after him and hurried to catch up. Evan stopped, and looked down at me bitterly – a mix of anger, hurt and stubbornness all mixed into his sapphire eyes.  
  
“Evan, I’m sorry about what happened back there,” I started to say, but I’m not too sure that he heard me at all – he merely spoke to me through gritted teeth.  
  
“I knew when I asked you to marry me that you didn’t have the same feelings that I do for you. I hoped that even without that, our friendship would be enough to bind us together – and in time you would come to love me. To see that out of everyone, it was me who had always been there for you.”  
  
“I know that you don’t love me the way that I love you, Alex. But I still expect loyalty,” Evan spoke dejectedly, his head hung in utter despair.  
  
“It was one time. It won’t happen again.” I promised, knowing that it had in fact been multiple times, but I was damned if I would ever let Evan find out about that.  
  
“I just can’t help but think that maybe… maybe this was a mistake.”  
  
I inhaled sharply – utterly helpless as I felt the protection I had craved for so long slipping away between my fingers like sand.  
  
“Evan, don’t give up on this. I want to be with you… I choose  _you_.”  
  
“You spin this web of lies, Alex, but I’ve _seen_  the two of you together… I’ve seen that spark, and that energy and foolishly I tried to deny that there was anything there – telling myself that it was all in my head.”  
  
“It’s nothing. He means  _nothing_  to me.”  
  
Evan sighed, and took a few moments before he spoke again.  
  
“Look, I have to go – I have to get to the Hospital Wing. We’ll speak later, Alex. Things need to change.”  
  
And with that he turned his back on me, leaving me stuck in an inexplicable state of confusion and anxiety. I took a deep breath – trying to stem the well of emotions that was boiling up inside of me – and I trudged off to Transfiguration in a despaired silence.  
  
***  
  
I didn’t speak to Sirius again until our Advanced Class the next night. Isobel, Kendra and I made the trip through the cold corridors to the Great Hall for another lesson from the Professors, who were trying their best to prepare us for the War ravaging the Wizarding World once we left Hogwarts.  
  
I sighed as I thought to myself how time was going by so quickly – too quickly – and that in only a few short months, we’d be expected to be ready for whatever is waiting out there for us.  
  
I only hoped that Evan wouldn’t change his mind about marrying me, and that I would still have the protection of him and his father. At least I didn’t have to worry about making up a story about where I would be for the night, as he had yet to speak to me and could barely even stand to look me in the eye.  
  
We entered the Great Hall to find the rest of the Seventh Years waiting, all appropriately on time, unlike us Slytherin outcasts, and immediately joined Xavier, Max and the other Ravenclaws.  
  
I could feel every pair of eyes burning into me after the little scene that Evan had caused outside our Potions class that morning, and I guessed that by now multiple rumours had surfaced about me.  
  
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what they would be, exactly.  
  
Xavier, sensing my unease, put an arm around me affectionately and smiled, calming my nerves somewhat, and I smiled back appreciatively – I was glad to have one friend who I knew had seen me at my very worst, and was still willing to stick around.  
  
Tonight’s class, we soon discovered, was being taught by Professor Flitwick, who was teaching us to cast basic charms without a wand. Needless to say, my nerves skyrocketed once I heard the plan for the lesson.  
  
The first spell that we were to work on was a Shield Charm. Not a particularly difficult Charm, by any means, but without a wand – it was the most difficult magic I’d ever attempted.   
  
To successfully cast this Charm wandlessly, we would have to use our hands for the same motions – training them to control and distribute the magic as our wands usually would.  
  
I raised my eyebrows in disbelief as Flitwick told us how wandless magic can be extremely volatile if practiced incorrectly, and that we would be required to work in pairs for safety and testing.  
  
“Alex!”  
  
I turned, just as everyone was scrambling to find a partner, and saw Remus Lupin strolling up to me, a small smile plastered on his face.  
  
“Want to practice together?”  
  
“Sure,” I consented; glad to be paired with someone who I’m sure had some notion of what we were doing here.  
  
We picked a spot at the far end of the Great Hall to practice, and I lay my wand aside carefully. I stood straight before noticing Remus surveying me carefully through eyes the colour of amber, and I raised my eyebrows at him inquisitively.  
  
“Before we start I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright,” Remus confessed under my scrutiny, laying his wand by mine.  
  
“I heard a rumour that you were at Hogsmeade the other night when a fight broke out.”  
  
“How could you possibly know that?” I questioned him, utterly perplexed. The only people who had been there were Slytherins – and I doubt any of them would have confessed this information to one of the Marauders so easily.  
  
Remus shrugged sheepishly, “I think one of the younger Slytherin guys let it slip, and you know how fast any shred of rumour travels in this place.”  
  
“All too well,” I answered with a playful roll of my eyes, “Well, I’m fine, anyway. Lucius was just being an arse, as usual.”  
  
Remus’ eyes darkened, “Just be careful who finds out you were there with him. He is a wanted man, after all.”  
  
I nodded my head in realisation, and said no more. I knew the danger that an association with people like Lucius Malfoy might cause. It was one of the very things that kept me awake at night, filtering into my dream like poison.  
  
“Shall we start?” Remus inquired, and I urged for him to try the Charm first, having little confidence that I could pull it off myself.  
  
He relaxed his body – his forehead creasing in concentration – and mirrored the Charms movements with his hands, speaking “ _Protego_.”  
  
To my surprise, a wisp of pale blue light began to merge in front of him, expanding until it shielded him completely.  
  
I aimed a Stinging Curse at him, as we had been instructed to do to test the Charms. The Shield dissipated as soon as the Curse hit it, but Remus was left unharmed.  
  
I was surprised that Remus managed it so quickly. Even though the Shield was weak, it held the force of the Curse.  
  
“Nice work, Moony!” Sirius cheered from where he was practicing with Isobel nearby. Although I noticed that much to her dismay, he seemed more intent on standing with his arms crossed against his chest, watching Remus and I, rather than actually practicing himself.  
  
I ignored him and congratulated Remus, more than a little envious, “That was great! How did you do it so easily?”  
  
Remus gave a sheepish grin, “I’ve had a bit of practice, to be honest.”  
  
“Oh really?” I asked, with a playful nudge to his shoulder.  
  
“Okay, your turn.” He instructed with a grin in return, and I prepared myself, eyes closed tightly, to focus myself for the Charm.  
  
I tried to clear my mind, to give myself space to learn – but with as many problems rolling around in my head, as I had, it wasn’t exactly easy to do. I rolled my head from side to side, trying to clear it, before telling Remus that I was ready to start.  
  
With my hands raised I mimicked the motion of the wand and spoke clearly.  
  
“ _Protego._ ”  
  
Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.  
  
Remus encouraged me to try again, and I inhaled deeply before my second attempt.  
  
Again, nothing.  
  
Time and time again, I tried to perform the Charm but nothing happened, and I was become increasingly frustrated. As much as I tried to clear my head, I just couldn’t help the thoughts of Sirius, and Evan, and Lucius, and The Dark Lord and Fenrir Greyback and a million other things from plaguing my mind.  
  
After time and time again of failure, Remus suggested that we take a break, and I consented gratefully – having thoroughly expended my energy at this stage of the night.  
  
I was just about to take a seat beside Remus before I felt a sharp sting in my back. It didn’t hurt so much, but merely felt like an uncomfortable tingling running across my skin. I turned to find Sirius standing with his wand pointed at me – his mouth turned into a dark scowl.  
  
Again, wordlessly, he sent a shot of green light racing towards me and this time hit me in the wrist.  
  
“Ow!” I complained, shaking the feeling off of my skin, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”  
  
Another flash of green hit me, this time on the chest, and then another, on the hip.  
  
By this time Remus was on his feet – barking at Sirius to cut it out, though Sirius merely ignored him, continuing to cast Stinging Curses at me.  
  
“Stop!” I commanded, dodging the stream of green light, but still he persisted. “Stop it, Sirius! This isn’t funny!”  
  
“Do I look like I’m laughing to you? Put your Shield up!” He growled.  
  
“ _Protego_ ,” I spluttered, as Sirius’ spell hit me in the arm and I winced at the sting of it.  
  
Another spell hit me in the cheek and I spoke the Charm with more force and almost lost my focus as a small spark of energy floated out in front of me but then disappeared in an instant.  
  
Sirius began to cast the curse with more speed and I panicked, not being able to keep up with the torrent of lights that were shooting all over my body – spreading tingles of pain over my skin.  
  
My frustration and anger was growing with such intensity that I shouted “ _Protego!_ ” with such force and desperation, and a blue wave of light burst out in front of me, ceasing all pain as it lingered and stood firm against the last few Curses that erupted from Sirius’ wand.  
  
It only took a few seconds before I sunk, panting, to the ground, utterly drained from the Charm. I didn’t know whether to be furious at Sirius for subjecting me to his sudden rage, or proud at myself for producing such a strong Charm without my wand.  
  
Sirius lowered his wand as he walked over.  
  
“There, you can do it. You can protect yourself without a wand.” He spoke cruelly – his grey eyes filled with ice.  
  
“That was uncalled for, mate,” Remus scolded his friend as he offered an arm to help me to my feet.  
  
“If she’s so intent on living among Death Eaters, she better bloody well learn how to protect herself.” Sirius offered spitefully.  
  
He turned and stormed off back to Isobel just as Flitwick was scurrying over exclaiming, “Well done, Miss Cortez! That was quite impressive for your first attempt.”  
  
But I was much too fixated on scowling at Sirius’ retreating back – gritting my teeth and cursing his very existence.  Though that hardly explained the aching that soon tore through my chest, forcing me to bite my lip and fight back the angry tears that threatened to fall.


	33. Three Little Words

The next few weeks passed by in a blur, and where I once found that I had two very different guys vying for my attention – I now had none. 

I could hardly say that the sudden calm wasn’t a welcome one, but it made me feel uneasy. Like I was thrown out of the loop of everyone’s lives and had to watch, helplessly, as they lived without me.

Evan had taken to the life of a recluse, always so dark and brooding. I knew that deep down he was second guessing his decision to marry me, and although the thought terrified me, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. What exactly could I do with the freedom of no longer being bound to him? Would I be happier, being able to live how I wanted instead of how I was supposed to? Would I still fear for my life every time I turned a corner or closed my eyes, or had I just been fooling myself into thinking that I was too powerless to protect myself against the terrors that haunted me.

Sirius, however, had done exactly as I had persisted to ask of him by calling off his attempts to change my mind and persuade me not to marry Evan. In fact, it quite reminded me of the old days when we could barely say two words without snapping and launching into some sort of argument. 

All in all, it was exhausting. And my heart broke with the pain of knowing that none of us would ever be truly happy if we carried on living life the way that we had been.

**

February 14th soon approached, and with it came the winter storm, covering the ground in a snowy, white blanket.

I had always hated the whole Valentine’s day traditions. The gooey romance and sugar-fuelled love fest wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time. So I didn’t bother to ask Evan if he wanted to make plans for the day, already knowing what his answer would be.

He, Rodolphus, Severus, Regulus and Rabastan spent almost every free day they had working on requests passed from the Dark Lord to Evans Father for them to complete. Whether it was finding information on the students and families of Hogwarts, recruitment, or meeting with correspondents in Hogsmeade.

Whatever is was, it made me feel incredibly uneasy, and I wondered how long they could keep all of the secrecy up at Hogwarts without Dumbledore finding out about it.

Dumbledore may be a looney, old bat who was speedily approaching the grave – but even I had to admit that he was far from stupid. Sometimes I suspected that he knew far more than he ever let on.

I had promised Isobel and Xavier that the three of us would go into Hogsmeade together on Valentine’s Day, where we could drink Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks by the fireplace, and make fun of all the awkwardly daft couples who were there on dates.

Isobel knocked briskly on the door of the dormitory for me to hurry up and I pulled on a black, woollen jacket over my outfit of dark jeans, navy-blue turtleneck and black snow boots. I stomped down the stairs to meet her, pulling a grey, woollen hat over my hair which was tumbling over my shoulders in lank strands and mumbled into my scarf that I was ready to go.

The three of us trudged down the road from Hogwarts to the village, grateful that the storm had eased off and we were left merely with a sky full of dark clouds and frozen snowflakes tumbling down onto our clothes.

Xavier put out his tongue to catch a snowflake and Isobel and I laughed at the sight.

“I dare you to lick that lamppost, Xave,” I teased, and Xavier shook his head furiously, his nose turning red from the cold.

“No way am I doing that again.”

Isobel chuckled lightly.

“Again?”

“I got dared to do it by my brother when I was eight,” Xavier explained with a shudder as he remembered some far off memory, “I swear I couldn’t taste anything for a week afterwards.”

I envisioned Xavier, a young boy of eight, with his tongue stuck to a lamppost and laughed openly.

“Well, it’s funny  _now_ , I suppose,” Xavier said as we entered the streets of Hogsmeade and headed towards the Three Broomsticks. We hadn’t taken more than a few paces, however, when I stopped frozen in my tracks.

Across the lightly snow covered lane, a boy with a familiar mop of shaggy black hair stood close to the entrance of the Broomsticks – his arm casually, and most traitorously, wrapped around the waist of a slim, honey-blonde haired girl.

The tramp in question I recognised as Summer Fortescue, Sixth Year Ravenclaw and younger sister of my old rival and Noah Selwyn’s former squeeze, Daisy Fortescue

How  _fucking_  appropriate.

She giggled and chattered away in a sing-song voice, as delicate snowflakes floated down onto the pair of them. Sirius’ dark eyes, which had lately been piercing me with nothing but a bitter disdain, flickered from Summers’ warm brown eyes to her lips, which had turned a cherry red from the cold winter air.

Then, without warning, his eyes skimmed straight past her. Those stormy, grey eyes that I had to fight myself not to fall right into, now locked onto my own, and for the briefest second there was something there. What it was exactly, I couldn’t tell. Was it surprise? Hate? Regret?

The thought left me completely when all of a sudden, he leaned in and silenced Summer with a kiss, eliciting a gasp of surprise from between both her lips and mine.

I took in a ragged breath of air as my chest seized and I watched, helplessly, as Summer curled her hands around Sirius’ neck and he, in turn, wrapped an arm around her waist to draw her closer, and with his other hand, tilted her chin up to meet his lips once more as he deepened the kiss. I tore my eyes from the scene, drawing in great, shuddering breaths to steady my head which was starting to swarm with flashes of red heat.

Whatever this feeling was, I didn’t want it.  

Warm envy flowed through my veins in place of blood and I wanted to rip it out of me and toss it onto the ground, to watch it splatter and know that I never had to feel that way again. But I couldn’t, and the feeling overwhelmed me.

My head pounded with the intensity of it and I was caught quite unaware as I swallowed the thick lump in my throat, only to taste the salt of my own tears on my lips.

“Oh, sweetie,”

I had almost forgotten Isobel was there until she cooed softly and wrapped an arm around me, giving me a comforting squeeze.

A stronger grasp clasped my shoulder and I turned.

“Alex, I- I didn’t know you actually cared so much about him.” Xavier spluttered in disbelief, his almond eyes wide.

“I don’t,” I choked, furiously attempting to stifle the burning tears with the back of my emerald-gloved hands. I strode away from them, pushing my way through the throng of students out and about enjoying their dates and all the other mushy crap that comes with the dreaded day.

I burst through the door into the Broomsticks, where I was met by a rush of warm air, and took in a deep breath of it to steady myself and rid the icy sting of winter air from my lungs.  The air inside was sweet with the scent of Butterbeer and apple wood burning in the fireplace at the end of the large room. Hogwarts students swarmed the place, trying to keep out of the cold, and I searched the room for any empty seats. I settled for ushering a couple of First Years out of a booth nearest the fireplace and all but dropped onto the seat, removing my heavy coat and relishing in the softness of the crimson velvet that covered the cushion.

Xavier soon slipped into the booth beside me, while Isobel plucked herself down across from us and picked up a menu that was spread on the table in front of us, inspecting it with sky-blue eyes.

I unravelled my scarf from around my neck and stacked it in a pile with my coat and hat on the seat beside me, before sliding down in the seat to get comfortable.

“Looks like it’s going to be a wait for service,” Isobel observed, sniffing the air promptly and taking in the crowds from over the top of the laminated menu she held.

Xavier, who had just finished shaking the snow out of his chestnut hair, rolled his eyes.

“Merlin, what is it with everyone’s obsession with the Seventh Years private lives? It’s like a freaking soap opera.” He nodded towards a group of Fourth Year girls who were whispering furiously, occasionally shooting curious glances at the three of us. 

Xavier shook his head in disapproval and removed his navy gloves, rubbing his hands together to warm them near the fire, and Isobel tutted under her breath in response.

I swallowed thickly as I eavesdropped on the girls chatter. It seemed that Sirius and Summers new,  _whatever_  it was, was causing quite a stir through the student body, as per usual. I eventually had to throw a couple of coasters at their heads just to get them to shut up.

“Please can we talk about something else?  _Anything_  else,” I droned, and Isobel nodded her blonde head in agreement.

“Well, we can talk about the Cupids Crush party tonight?” She suggested timidly, and I let out an obvious groan of unhappiness, letting my head bang down onto the table in front of me dramatically. Usually, there’s some sad excuse for a party happening on Valentine’s Day, thrown solely for the purpose of loved up couples to drink too much punch and make out in dark corners.

This year, however, some ‘witty’ Ravenclaw had come up with the Cupids Crush or “Anti-Valentine’s Day” Party, which, if you ask me, is just a sad excuse for  _single_  people to drink too much punch and make out in dark corners instead.

I bet it was one of Xavier’s mates.

“Come on,” Isobel insisted, “Why shouldn’t we go? Xavier and I are single. And you’re, sort of… well… complicated.”

“Jeez, thanks Iz…”

“Or you could think of it as an opportunity to get blind drunk and forget about a certain Gryffindor scumbag you’re crying over,” Xavier added and nudged me lightly in the arm. 

“I’m not crying,” I crossed my arms stubbornly over my chest. “…anymore.” 

“Besides, you wouldn’t leave me and Isobel to go alone, would you? People might start… suspecting something.”

Isobel scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes, while Xavier turned his big, brown puppy dog eyes on me.

I gave a defeated sigh.

“Fine, I’ll go. But don’t complain if you’re the ones dragging me back to the dormitory afterwards.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Xavier answered with a reassuring pat on my back.

“Oh, Hello Remus. Peter.”

I ceased scowling at Xavier unhappily to note Remus Lupin standing next to our table, looking a little flustered and dressed in a shabby, grey coat with his Gryffindor scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. Peter Pettigrew only half hid behind his back, clad in a beet red parka which made him look alarmingly like a little, rotten tomato.

“Hey guys. It’s crazy in here, right? Mind if we join you?” Remus asked brightly as he began to remove his scarf.

“Of course not,” I answered Remus through gritted teeth, forcing a welcoming smile while ignoring the knot forming in my stomach at the sight of Sirius’ best friends. 

It wasn’t their fault that he was such an insufferable prat, I had to remind myself.

Isobel made way for Remus to drop into the seat beside her while Peter squashed in after him, eyeing us all as if we were a foreign species.

“You two on a date?” Xavier enquired, his voice light with humour.

Remus chuckled in reply and threw an arm around Peter, squashing the boy against him. “What can I say? Pete just can’t get enough of me!”

Peter squeaked in protest, his face turning as red as his parka as Remus ruffled his hair affectionately, before looking around the room.

“Have you lot ordered anything?”

Isobel sighed. 

“We would have if it wasn’t so crammed in here.”

They chatted on about how Hogwarts should really offer more in the way of leisure activities, though I barely heard their conversation over the sudden pounding in my ears. Sirius Black was making his way through the crowd that had just entered the pub, his arm secure around Summers waist and his eyes flicking over the room lazily.

I ducked my head a little, letting my hair fall across my face in an attempt to avoid his gaze. Dealing with him and that snotty, little parasite at his side was the last thing I wanted.

_Please don’t see us, please,_ please  _don’t see us_.

It seemed, unfortunately, that no-one heard my plea. Sirius’ scanned over our table in swift recognition before he crossed the room to join us, and I groaned inwardly at the self-satisfied grin he wore.

Perhaps a coaster would knock it off.

“Look what we have here, Sweetheart.” Sirius mocked, as Summer narrowed her chocolate-coloured eyes directly at me and cosied closer into his side. “Isn’t this a motley-looking group? Gryffies, ‘Claws and…  _Snakes_. All we need is a ‘Puff or two and it’ll be the Sorting Hats wet dream.”

I squeezed my eyes tight, wishing I was anywhere but in that room with the two of them. I couldn’t look at them, just there, so close together. It was far too much to handle.

Sirius shuffled Peter over to sit beside Xavier, while he took the empty spot beside Remus – pulling Summer down onto his lap, where she giggled childishly and flicked her golden hair.

“So,  _friends_ , is everyone ready for some celebrating tonight?” Sirius asked, and I breathed deeply as the blood rushed to my face in a flood of heat and my blood started to boil in my veins.

_Breathe, just breathe._

_Inhale and exhale, that’s it._

“There’s no room at this table.  _Leave_.” Isobel clicked her tongue impatiently and my heart soared in affection for her. How could I have ever thought that she was a daft twit?

_Inhale and exhale, you can do it._

I took a deep breath in through my nose and cracked my eyes open a little, noticing with a budding curiosity that Remus had lay his hand on Isobels arm to calm her.

“Now, now. Don’t be like that, Iz. We’re all friends here, right?” Sirius began, his voice laced with the same, sweet mockery.

I cleared my throat loudly and ignored the warm tears prickling in my eyes as they locked onto his own, “Actually, I was just leaving. Take all the room you want.”

Peter and Xavier promptly gave me room to leave the booth and I stormed through the pub without a second glance back.

I couldn’t make sense of the emotions tearing through me. I had told Sirius to leave me alone, hadn’t I? So why was it that I was  _so_  not okay with him doing exactly that? When he decided to move on, then why… for the love of Merlin,  _why_  did it have to hurt so much?

I covered my mouth as tears threatened to escape me. I will  _not_  cry in front of them – I can’t let him see that this is getting to me, not after everything I’ve chosen to lead me to this point.

The door to the Broomsticks burst open just as I reached out for it and I stopped in my tracks in fright, pulled out of any and all thoughts as Evan Rosier stepped over the threshold, trailing snow behind him into the pub and slamming the heavy, wooden door behind him.

To say that he looked angry would be the understatement of the century. Hi cheeks were flushed red, and his sapphire eyes were narrowed into a glare that could very well kill.

A warning alarm sounded in my head, but his eyes were locked on me and I knew, regrettably, that there was nowhere that I could hide to avoid that fury in his gaze.

“ _There_  you are.” He snarled in such a menacing way that a few of the students nearby actually stopped to stare at him, wide-eyed.

“Evan, what-“ I was cut off abruptly by Evan clutching me by the collar and dragging me, roughly, the last few feet to the door – which he tore open and pushed me down into the snow.

I let out a yelp of pain as I fell to the ground and my knees hit the snowy gravel. The snow outside the Broomsticks was muddy, and packed down hard by the dozens of feet that had been trampling over it all day.

My teeth chattered against the cold as Evan covered the last small space between us, grabbing me roughly by my arm and pulling me forcefully into the middle of the lane before pushing me down once more.

I brushed the snow out of the face and pushed my dark hair back to glare up at Evan darkly. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t see the boy who had been my closest friend since we were practically children – the one who would defend me against any terror and do it purely from the love that he held in his heart. I couldn’t find a glimmer of anything that he used to be, anywhere in his darkened face.

Instead, I saw a mere shadow of someone who I used to love – of someone who was very much lost to me.

This was the man who Evan Rosier had become.

It was never supposed to be this way.

“Not so harsh, Rosier – you don’t want to break anything, do you?” A drawl escaped the lips of Rodolphus Lestrange as he paced towards us, his arms thrust into the pockets of a long, black woollen coat.

By now a crowd had gathered to see what was going on – people were spilling out of the Three Broomsticks and into the lane behind us. Rodolphus pulled his wand from his pocket and uttered a spell to produce a barrier between ourselves and the crowd.

I managed to push myself weakly to my feet, brushing the snow off of the front of my jumper and jeans.

“What the hell are you doing?” I questioned Evan as he advanced on me – his dark-clouded eyes narrowed in rage and his forehead creased. 

I took a few steps back, terrified, but he caught me by the throat with one bare hand and squeezed so tightly that he almost lifted me off the ground with his force. 

“I found out what you were doing, Alex,” He breathed lowly, and I wasn’t surprised to note the heavy scent of Firewhiskey rolling off his breath. He shifted from side to side, unbalanced, and I realised that he wasn’t just tipsy this time.

He was blind, rage-inducing  _drunk_.

I gasped for breath, my throat tightening painfully as he crushed it beneath his strength and my vision went hazy.

“The advanced classes, hmm? How long were you planning on hiding that from me?”

I choked until finally, mercifully, he let go of me and I fell to my knees, taking in deep, heaving breaths of ice-cold air to steady myself as the oxygen rushed back into my body.

“Are you insane?” I choked out, rubbing my painful throat tenderly, “It’s for my own benefit, Evan. It’s to help me learn to defend myself!”

“Against _who_ , exactly?” Evan snarled, rounding on me once more. I fell back into the snow in my attempt to get away from him. I had always known that Evan had a temper but this… this was something much more. This was something dangerous, and I was nothing short of terrified.

It occurred to me then, that this is a man who may very well kill me.

“Against us, Alex,” He answered when I failed to, his voice this time not so much angry, but hurt. “Against  _me_ , that’s who.”

I stood, feeling in my back pocket for my wand. I wrapped my hand around it tightly, feeling its power course through me. If Evan so much as took another step towards me, I was ready to blow him to pieces.

“Yes.” I spat through gritted teeth, feeling the confidence of my wand and my bitter anger running through me. “Yes, I wanted to defend myself against you, and all of the Dark Lord’s other  _puppets_. Look at you, Evan! Take a look at the monster you’ve become and tell yourself that you still blame me!”

“Oh, I blame you, alright.” Evan said lowly, thrusting his hand in his pocket where I knew that his own wand would be waiting. “I gave you  _everything_  and you threw it back in my face! When you went behind my back! When you fell in love with a blood-traitor.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Evan cut me off hotly.

“Don’t even try to deny it. You lie, and lie and lie and break  _everything_. I don’t even know who you are anymore.” He spits venomously, stumbling back a little as he runs his hand through his dishevelled, sandy hair.

Evans voice breaks and for a moment I stop as I allow his words to wash over me and strip me bare. A horrified thought hits me as I wonder if I was the cause of Evans dark transformation. Was I really the one who pushed him too far? Did I make him feel unloved, and unappreciated so many times that it shaped him into the vile drunkard that was standing before me.

Deep down I knew that Evan was being corrupted, day by day, by the Dark Lord and his twisted visions for the future. But who was to say that my actions hadn’t caused at least some small part in shaping the darkness that he had tumbled into.

The thought made me feel sick to my stomach, and I swallowed hard against the bile that was rising in my throat.

Evan, sensing my discomfort, sneered cruelly.

“You call me the monster, Alex. But what does that make _you_?”

I couldn’t stand to listen to his poisonous words any longer. In an instant I whipped my wand from my pocket, far too quickly for Evan to notice, in his intoxicated state, and yelled “ _Sectumsempra_!”

I was caught off guard as Evan dove towards me, and my spell missed him by a mere inch, instead bouncing off Rodolphus’ barrier and shattering it. I cried out as Evan crashed into me, taking hold of my wand and wrestling it from my grip before bringing his hand back and slapping it down hard against my face.

A sudden sting hit me in the side of the face so heavily that black spots of pain started to block my vision. I fell into the snow, stumbling blindly as I blinked the blackness from my eyes and sucked in a lungful of air to steady myself against the pain in my cheek.

When I finally came to, I realised that since the barrier had been shattered Xavier had taken the chance to pin Rodolphus  to the ground, and was struggling to restrain him until Remus jumped in to assist.

I loud cry of anger drew my attention back to Evan who was down in the snow, being mercilessly torn apart by a murderous looking Sirius Black. Evan, I saw, was trying his best to defend himself, but he was no match in his current state.

I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach – at this rate Sirius would  _kill_  him before he stopped.

On unsteady feet, I stumbled forwards to drag Sirius off of Evan, and Sirius – snapping out of his rage – backed off a few paces, through continued to snarl at Evan darkly.

Evan pushed himself into a sitting position before getting to his feet unsteadily. His face was slick with scarlet blood, which ran down his throat and stained the collar of his grey, woollen coat. I put an arm out in front of me as a warning to keep his distance.

“It’s over, Evan.” I spoke lowly, though Evan chuckled darkly in reply.

“You’re damn right it is,” He spat the blood from his mouth, tinging the snow below him scarlet and wiped his blood soaked hands on his coat.

“Good luck protecting yourself and your gang of Mud-bloods and Muggle-lovers with your silly, little  _advanced lessons_. They’re not going to help you in the  _fucking_  least and you know it.”

My breath caught in my throat as I answered shakily, “I can protect myself. I don’t need _you_ , or anyone else.”

Evan pierced me with a spiteful glare. 

“Just as well, I suppose, because it seems that there’s no-one who needs you either. Not me, not the Dark Lord – even your beloved blood-traitor has moved on, if the rumours are true.”

My eyes flickered over Sirius, who was nursing an injured wrist and being fussed over by a terrified looking Summer, and something inside me snapped.

I couldn’t help myself, my eyes flashed red with anger and I pushed against Evans chest, hard, and he staggered backwards – only just keeping his balance.

“Shut up!” I screamed at him, and I pushed him again, and again, forcing all of my rage onto him until he grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me against him forcefully and I struggled against his iron grip and cried.

“I hate you! I hate you!  _I hate you!”_

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it, _baby_.” Evan hissed down at me between his teeth. “But don’t you see that you’ve brought this on yourself.”

A sob escaped me, and I found myself growing weak under his strength.

He was right. It was  _me_  who was the monster. I was the one who tore things apart, and broke people down, and brought all of this hardship onto myself.

And now I had to deal with the fact that I had pushed Evan to his very limit and all but thrown him into his future of war.

Evan released me slowly, and backed away – his hands in the air in surrender – without another word. Rodolphus was let up and brushed himself off indignantly, joining his best friend and I watched, helplessly, as they left me.

This time I couldn’t call out to them. I couldn’t beg them to stay, and promise that everything would be okay as long as we stuck together.

Because we were broken, and we would never be together again. 

The pair of them distanced themselves from the crowd and within a few moments they had Apparated away from the streets of Hogsmeade.

They were gone.

My heart lurched in pain as I sank to my knees and let the tears overcome me. I didn’t care who saw, I was done with pretending to be strong for the sake of others when the truth plain and simple.

I was weak. 

Evan and I had had a screwed up relationship – that was for sure. I  _hated_ him. I hated him with every fibre of my being for everything that he had become, and everything that we had been through, and yet I loved him so much that it tore my heart into a thousand pieces.

The Dark Lord, the inequality between the people we loved and this  _fucking war_  had robbed us of whatever happiness we might have had and it grieved me so deeply that I thought my chest might explode from the pain of it all.

I wasn’t immune from the darkness, I realised, as I thought of the lies and deceit and manipulation that I used to secure my own safety. The time had finally come when I had no-one left to depend on but myself, and I couldn’t quite work out how I felt about that fact.

It wasn’t long before I felt hands on my shoulders, but I shrugged them off bitterly. I didn’t care who they belonged to – they were not going to comfort me.

I didn’t deserve that much.

I let the sobs rack my body – escaping in heartbroken screams and strangled sobs – until a strong pair of arms twisted their way under my legs, and despite my protests, Sirius lifted me into his arms where I buried my face into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar and safe scent of him as I cried myself into near exhaustion and let him carry me back to Hogwarts.

**

When I woke, it was to the sound of dry wood crackling in a fireplace and the warmth of a woollen blanket draped over my shoulders. I opened my eyes lazily, scanning the Slytherin Common Room and finding it quite empty – save for three concerned looking girls spread out around me, eagerly sitting up one by one as they noticed me stirring from sleep.

I propped myself up on the couch I had been previously dozing on and rubbed at my eyes lazily, before the dregs of sleep slipped from my mind and I recalled the previous events at Hogsmeade.

My heart sank, and I felt a certain numbness begin to creep over me as I realised just how much had changed in one, miniscule day.

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Isobel was the first to speak. She sat at my feet on the same couch – her fair eyebrows knitted together in motherly concern and her tone soft.

Kendra was sitting on the closest armchair, her chin propped up by her hand and auburn curls falling into her forest-green eyes. Violet was squashed into the chair next to her – they were back to being inseparable again, I guessed, though I was far too exhausted to question it.

I sighed and waved my hand dismissively.

“Oh, you know, just like the whole sky has come crashing down on my head.”

Kendra pursed her lips tightly.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. About Evan leaving and all of that… I know how close the two of you were, well… before.”

I nodded in thanks, biting my lip to keep the emotions back as the threat of tears stung sharply behind my eyes.

I couldn’t think about Evan, the very thought of him sent waves of pain crashing through me and I knew that if I didn’t try to hold that pain back, I would almost certainly drown.

“So, what time is it?” I asked casually, trying to swerve the conversation in a different direction. “Shouldn’t you all be getting ready for the party?”

Isobel shot a quick look at the others before answering.

“Oh, we’re not going to go. We thought after everything that happened today you might prefer a quiet girls night in?”

I raised my eyebrows inquisitively.

“You’re ditching the party for my sake?”

Kendra pouted and stared pointedly at me. “You’re our friend, Alex. Why wouldn’t we?”

I stopped and thought. I couldn’t quite pin-point the exact day that these girls had become my friends, but somewhere, among the chaos, we had emerged closer than ever. My heart swam in affection for them – even Violet, who had borne the brunt of my wrath gracefully, and was still willing to be the better person after everything that had happened with Lucius.

I smiled at them all – and this time I knew that it was genuine.

“I would feel terrible if you missed it. Really, don’t worry about me, I’ll just hang out here and… read a book or something.”

Kendra snorted and pointed a finger at me accusingly, “I’ve never seen you read a book in your life.”

I poked my tongue out at her and she scrunched her freckled nose in defiance.

“You know, you could always come with us?” Violet suggested timidly, twisting her short, black hair around her finger.

I shrugged as I considered the proposition. What could it hurt, going out to a party with my friends? I already felt like I couldn’t sink any lower – perhaps a night of brainless, alcohol infused debauchery was just the pick-me-up I needed.

I tapped my chin in mock thought and pursed my lips.

“You know what? A drink might just be the thing I need.”

The four of us tramped back up to our dormitory, and I was so happy to have their support, that I even forgot to be outright nasty towards Violet. I mean, the girl was trying, right? I could afford to cut her some slack.

I let Isobel help pick an outfit out for me – a black, long sleeved cropped top with a body hugging, scarlet pencil skirt, paired with my black pumps and a couple of long, silver necklaces. I protested against the sliver of midriff showing above my skirt, but Isobel waved her hand dismissively, assuring me that I would feel better looking a little bit sexy.

I glared at her, and bit my lip unhappily.

Kendra fussed herself with my makeup and I even let Violet tame my currently unruly strands of hair – smoothing them back into a high pony-tail.

When we were all finished dressing in appropriate shades of red and pink (I had protested that we should wear all black to an anti-valentines party, but was quickly over-ruled) we headed out to the party which was being held in the Astronomy Tower.

As we approached, the muffled rumble of dance music spilled down the stone staircase and engulfed us. Kendra and Violet perked up immediately and hurried to the winding staircase that led up into a large rotund room, which students would usually use for their Astronomy projects.

Tonight, however, the room was void of all desks and chairs, and filled instead with people dancing, drinking, and just outright making messes of themselves.

A large red-lacquered bar was on one side of the room – manned by a guy in a white suit and a girl in a white cocktail dress, both of whom were wearing red masquerade masks.

I scanned the room as we entered for any familiar faces, though was immediately taken aback when an arm wrapped around my shoulders sloppily and pulled me against a warm body tightly.

“Cortez!” A highly intoxicated Oliver Oswald, one of Xavier’s Ravenclaw friends and my Arithmancy classmate, spluttered at me. “Saw what happened in Hogsmeade today. That’s just too bad… but hey, you’re single now right?”

I scoffed in disgust and shoved Oliver off me. He was caught abruptly, however, by Xavier who grabbed him by the arm and steered him to a nearby pouf.

“Girls still got it!”

A loud whoop drew my attention to Maxwell, who had crept up and wrapped an arm around Kendra, who squealed in delight at the sudden ambush. Max raised his glass at me in a mock toast, and I rolled my eyes dismissively.

Xavier returned shortly, dressed in a navy, long-sleeved sweater and jeans, and grinned sheepishly.

“I’m so sorry about that, Alex, he doesn’t really drink often.”

“It’s fine,” I said quickly, linking my arm through Xavier’s and shaking off the annoyance. I was here to enjoy the night, not to get pissed off at every drunkard who got a little too close for comfort.

“Let’s go and get a drink.”

We pushed our way through the crowd of people all dancing to the music that was blaring from nowhere that I could physically see, and I propped my arms up on the bar, snapping the attention of one of the bartenders with my fingers.

The guy in the white suit sauntered over stroppily, and banged his fist down on the counter in annoyance.

“Don’t bloody well snap your fingers at me, Cortez, or you’ll be lucky to get any service.”

My mouth dropped.

“Wha- Potter? Is that you?”

“Of course it’s me. How much have you had to drink tonight? I don’t think it would be appropriate for me, as Head Boy, to serve you any more alcoholic beverages.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve had nothing to drink, you twit, now I’d like three glasses of your finest punch if you wouldn’t mind actually doing your job.”

James sneered unhappily and propped three glasses of a pink-tinged liquid onto the bar.

“How’d you get stuck with this job, mate?” Xavier asked casually as he picked up one of the glasses and took a tentative sip.

James inclined his head to his fellow bartender in the cocktail dress, who I realised from the slick, red hair was Lily Evans, and Xavier nodded his head in mutual understanding.

“Enjoy your night, Potter.” Xavier said, steering me away from the bar before I could add in my own opinion.

We found our way back to the group, who were set up on the poufs that Xavier had previously left Oliver on. Oliver himself had gracefully fallen off his pouf and was now rolling around on the floor pretending to be the Giant Squid.

Charming, really.

I handed Isobel the third glass of punch, which she accepted gratefully, and sank down onto one of the plush chairs before taking a sip of the drink. It was a sickly sweet concoction which tasted like strawberries and marshmallow.

Kendra soon stood and pulled Max towards another staircase, this one going up onto the roof where the telescopes are usually located, and my eyes trailed them.

“What’s going on up there?” I enquired curiously, and Xavier took in an amused breath.

“That’s, well, let’s just call that the couple’s floor of the party.”

I gagged in mockery as I eyed the couples who were peeling off from the rest of the party to climb the staircase up onto the roof. That was, until a familiar couple emerged from the stairs and my heart froze. Summer descended first, dressed in a strapless, pale pink dress which puffed out at the bottom like some kind of bizarre ballerina tutu. She was trailed by Sirius, who wore a black, long sleeved top and jeans – paired with an unreadable expression.

I looked away quickly, pushing the picture from my mind and took a long drink of my punch, then tipped Isobel’s glass up as she sipped and urged her to do the same. Isobel spluttered in protest but I just laughed.

“Come on, we’re getting another drink and then going dancing.”

After grabbing a couple more glasses of punch, this time from a sour looking Lily Evans, we joined the rest of the throng dancing some fast-paced song, the lyrics of which were depicting some poor Wizard who had his girlfriend run of with his best friend to get… candy?

Somehow I don’t think candy meant quite what it was supposed to in this instance.

I soon found the stupid song stuck in my head, and sang along while dancing with Isobel , Xavier, Violet – and even Oliver, once he had found his feet again, letting the laughter and the alcohol wash away every emotion besides joyful giddiness. Oliver grabbed my hand and spun me around before leaning into a dip and I went red in the face with laughter at the sight of my drink spilling on everyone’s shoes around me.

I revelled in the night – drinking more and more and letting my mind linger in the music and my body get caught up in the sound. Tonight was about having fun with the people that I had come to realise cared about me unconditionally.

Tomorrow I would let myself fall into self-pity and loathing.

A little while later, and I don’t know exactly how he accomplished this, but Xavier had managed to talk James Potter into handing over a few shot glasses and a full bottle of Fire-whiskey from behind the bar and we pushed our poufs into a circle and played a game of Bandits and Bowtruckles (Don’t ask.), joined by a couple of Hufflepuff Seventh Years.

I was watching one of the Hufflepuff boys, named Stamford Jorkins, doing a rather good impersonation of Filch, when I felt it. The small tingle of chills started to run done my spine as I knew I was being watched.

And I had a fair idea who was watching me too.

“Alex, are you okay?” Xavier asked, and I nodded reassuringly.

“Yeah, I’m just going to head to the bar, I’ll be back in a minute.”

I pushed myself up and headed towards the bar, tottering a little unsteadily in my heels.  Once there I propped my elbow on the bar counter and leaned my chin on it.

“Are you an alcoholic?” James offered as greeting. “I’m really beginning to think that you’re an alcoholic.”

“Just give me the damn drink, Potter.”

James crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“First you must pass a sobriety test. Turn in a circle three times, touch your toes, jump in the air twice, and then lick your elbow.”

I raised my eyebrows impatiently and slurred.

“Don’t make me hex you.”

“Alright, alright! No need to get violent.”

James poured glass of punch and handed it to me tentatively. I took it with a sour smile and turned to head back to the group, but not before I was bumped into by some  _idiot_  and had the drink spilt all down the front of my outfit.

“Oops, sorry,” The sickly sing-song voice of Summer Fortescue came from beside me and I turned to see her smirking cruelly as she placed her arms on her hips and pursed her lips together.

Slowly, I placed the empty glass down onto the bar, only to find a full one waiting ( _Thank you, James Potter!),_  which I grabbed, tossing the contents directly into the smug, blonde girls face.

Summer, visibly taken aback, spluttered as she wiped the pink liquid from her face – her mascara running in black streaks down her cheeks.

“You stupid  _whore!_ ” She spat venomously, and my reflexes were  _much_  too slow as she pulled her hand back before bringing it down hard against my face in a slap.

I recoiled for only a second before I punched her right in that perfect, perky nose of hers.

I may have been disgraced and cast down from my former standing as ‘Queen Bitch’ but if some stupid girl thought that she could get the best of me, then she really didn’t know what she was in for.

Summer gasped in pain and her hand covered her nose tenderly. I took my wand from where it was stowed in my skirt and pointed it in her face.

“Try that  _one_ more time, bitch.”

Summer, however, ignored the warning and screeched at me in anger, before knocking my wand aside and lunging at me. I barely stumbled out of the way in time before she was pulled back and restrained. On second glance I noticed it was Sirius who had pulled her back and I scoffed loudly. 

Of  _course_  it was him.

Summer, unpredictably, pushed him away angrily, glaring daggers at him before stomping off.

Sirius ran his hand through his dark hair and let out a sigh in exasperation as he watched her leave.

It was then that the shock settled over me in being attacked by the crazy girl in the first past. What the hell had I done to anger her so much?

Sirius turned to look at me, breaking me from my thought, and I couldn’t even find any words. He bent to pick up my wand which had knocked down and I took it, before turning on my heels and bolting back to the staircase that would lead me back down stairs.

I couldn’t be around him. I just couldn’t _deal_  with the emotions that he invoked in me. Especially not after his new play-thing seemed to have it out for me for no clear reason other than she was upset about some stupid rumours she had heard about Sirius and I.

Someone called my name, but I ignored them, instead racing down the stone steps and out into the quietness of the corridor, where I only had to listen to the muffled music of the party and my heart pounding loudly in my ears.

“Alex!”

The voice called loudly as they followed me down the staircase, and this time I recognised it. I thought about running, or hiding or just doing anything so that I wouldn’t have to face the owner of that particular voice.

But something in me knew that no matter how much I ran away, he would never give up.

“What do you want, Sirius?”

I asked as he emerged from the circular staircase – a look of worry etched upon his features.

“I just… I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I let out a bitter laugh. 

“Do you really think I’m okay? After your psychotic girlfriend attacked me in there?”

Sirius put his hands up to calm me, as if I were some wild dog who might pounce and bite him at any moment, and I gritted my teeth against the annoyance that was rising in me.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sirius explained lowly, though I rolled my eyes in disbelief. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” I bit back sharply, “Like I haven’t had to spend this entire, dreadful day, watching you parade around with  _her_!”

Sirius’ eyes flashed with anger, and I immediately knew that I had hit some nerve with him.

“You had to spend  _one_ , lousy day sulking over me trying to move on, when I’ve had to endure entire fucking  _months_  watching you bounce from one bad decision to the next!” Sirius barked, his voice growing with volume each second, “You don’t get to feel that way, Alex. Not after you were the one who pushed me away.”

I inhaled sharply – angry tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

“Please, Sirius, keep reminding me of my many mistakes.” I spat, my voice a bitter whisper as I wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the chill that had crept down the stone corridor.

I knew, as soon as the words had left my mouth, what he would make of them. Was that how I really felt? Like pushing Sirius away had been a mistake? I had never wanted to do it,that much was true. But I had always convinced myself that the reasons why I had made complete sense to me.

Maybe now I wasn’t so sure.

Sirius stopped, and exhaled tiredly. His face softened as he moved forwards to brush the hair back from my face lightly, his fingers lingering underneath my chin.

“You asked me to move on, Alex, and this is the best way I know how.” He answered, his voice a mere breath of desperation, and I turned away from him, not willing to meet his eyes.

I didn’t want him to move on, I didn’t. I couldn’t watch him find happiness with some other girl and know that I would never have that chance.

“What is it that you really want?” He asked softly, taking my hand and drawing me closer to him. I shivered as I felt the heat of his body hit me, and I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, and to have all of the fear and pain that haunted me disappear.

But I hesitated, and pulled back from him abruptly.

“I saw you earlier,” I said, with more bitterness in my voice than I had intended, “, with Fortescue – in Hogsmeade outside the Broomsticks. And then before, coming back down the stairs from the roof?”

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, but I continued, becoming more and more heated with each word that left my mouth.

“How can you stand there and  _lie_ to me and tell me that there’s nothing going on between the two of you!”

“Because I ended it!” Sirius growled darkly, and I hesitated.

“Up on the roof,” He began to explain quietly, “It was quiet up there so I took the chance to tell her that thing’s weren’t going to work out between her and I. Because I have feelings for someone else that are much too strong to ignore.”

I let out a sigh as the pieces clicked into place, and I held my palm against my forehead in realisation.

“That’s why she was acting like such a bitch a bar. Because she thought that it was because of me?”

Sirius crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back against the stone wall of the corridor casually. His dark hair fell into his face in a way that made butterflies rise in my stomach.

“How could you expect her to not put two and two together, what with everything that’s being going on lately?” He asked, and I rolled my eyes dismissively.

“I’ve been a bit preoccupied to worry about things like that, if you haven’t noticed.”

Sirius exhaled slowly and surveyed me through stormy eyes.

“Have you heard anything from Rosier?” He asked slowly, and I winced as if the question was a physical blow, and turned away from him.

“No,” I whispered as the pain of hearing his name coursed through me like liquid fire. “And I don’t expect to. I think that this time he’s gone for good.”

“I know you’ll probably hate me for saying this, but I’m glad he’s out of your life. It was much too dangerous for you to put your trust in him.” He said lowly – his eyes trailing the ground in front of him.

“What would you know?” I snapped, wiping angry tears away before they had the chance to fall, before turning to face him again.

I couldn’t admit that he was right. Not after all of the advice he had given, even if it had been unwanted, had proven to be completely, and irrevocably true.

Before I knew it, heartbroken tears began to stream down my face, over my flushed cheeks and I covered my mouth to stifle a sob. Sirius, seeing my pain, pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back in comfort as I let every emotion overcome me and cried into his chest.

I couldn’t understand why, exactly, but around Sirius I felt like my true self somehow managed to emerge from the shell I hid it in, and I was powerless to do anything to stop it.

After a while, I pulled away from him and rubbed my swollen eyes.

“I don’t know what happens from here,” I admitted, my voice wavering unsteadily. “Everything I knew is gone. I don’t know how to live this new life without… without  _them_.”

Sirius stood closer to me and trailed his fingers up and down the side of my arms soothingly.

“You’re strong… you always have been. You’ll get through this.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I sighed in exasperation. Why didn’t he understand? His vision of me was nothing more than a delusion – I had no shred of strength left in me, and if he was smart, he would stay the hell away from me before I broke him too.

“Go back to Summer.” I ordered suddenly – my voice a dull drone, “There’s nothing that I can offer you, Sirius, except for heartbreak and disappointment. You don’t deserve that.”

Sirius shook his head, grinning stubbornly, “I’m not going anywhere – you should know that by now.”

“Why not?” I rounded on him, furious, trying to understand why he was so intent on standing by me when it was the last thing that I deserved.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone!”

Sirius ran his hand through his long hair in desperation before he took my face in his hands.

“Because I love you, Alex! Do you hear me? I  _fucking_  love you.”

I stopped, frozen, as Sirius’ grey eyes searched my own. What he was looking for, exactly, I couldn’t say.

I tried to say something but my breath caught in my throat and the feeling overwhelmed me.

_Sirius Black loves me?_

_How on earth had we gotten to this point…_

Sirius lowered his hands and turned away from me, struggling with some internal battle of his own as he covered his mouth briefly before beginning to pace away.

“Wait,” I said, grabbing him by the hand before he could leave, and pulling him towards me.

I shouldn’t have said it – I should have bit my tongue until it bled, to save him from the destruction that I felt inside of me. 

But I didn’t want to lie anymore.

“Sirius… I love you too.”


	34. The Fox and the Hound

Sirius’ lips crashed against mine, and I stumbled back a few paces before I was righted once more by his hands circling my waist and pulling me against the warmth of his body. I let out a weak sigh as his tongue ran across my lower lip, his mouth rough and hot on mine, and my hands found themselves tangled in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, urging him on.  
  
I knew now, why every time Sirius and I had been together in the past that it felt so god damn _good_. I mean, Merlin, this boy really knew how to get me into a right, trembling state.  
  
No wonder I could hardly keep my hands off of him.  
  
“Alex…” Sirius began to speak, but I pressed my lips back against his to cut him off. Right now, all I wanted was to  _feel_  him – the talking would have to wait.  
  
“Alex, I… have… to tell you,” He whispered against my lips in between kisses, and I only half-listened, thoroughly caught in a daze.  
  
“I’m sorry… I’m _so_  sorry… about today… with Fortescue,”  
  
I stopped, my dark lashes fluttering as I blinked my eyes through the confusion, and for a brief moment the stab of pain at seeing the two of them together started to creep back into my chest like a slow poison.  
  
“I feel like a complete and utter idiot, trust me,” Sirius admitted, and I could tell by the look of anguish plaguing his stormy eyes, that he was being sincere, “I really thought that you wanted nothing more to do with me – that I had pushed you too far by telling Rosier about us,”  
  
He lifted his hand and brushed the side of my face gently – my eyes flitted closed at his touch.  
  
“No one has ever made me feel the way you do, and I know that I haven’t done a lot to prove that to you so far, but I – I need you to know that,”  
  
“I believe you,” I whispered, my voice a mere thread of breath, and Sirius lowered his lips to my own once more.  
  
His hands snaked over the exposed skin on my back and a shudder ran through me, sending electric shivers up and down my body. My arms wrapped around his neck as I deepened the kiss and I felt him let out a low groan of pleasure against my mouth.  
  
He tasted like Firewhiskey and strawberries and I was shaking from head to toe with such desire, if it had not been for his strong arms around me, I feel as if I would have collapsed with the intensity of it.  
  
His lips left mine, and moved instead to caress the side of my face, and then further down to my neck and a low moan escaped me as I tilted my head upwards to allow him access and felt his rough stubble brush against the softness of my skin and a feeling of warmth spread through me, making my heart thump faster and harder under Sirius’ touch.  
  
He found my lips again, kissing me roughly, like there was nothing that he wanted more in the world then me, and I smiled softly against his lips, because I felt it too.  
  
It was reckless.  
  
It was stupid.  
  
And I liked it.  
  
I could hear voices coming down the stairs, but I ignored them, not caring that they were about to get quite the show. Sirius, however, trailed his hands up to cup my face and pulled back an inch to grin at me, his grey eyes heavy-lidded.  
  
“Maybe we should get back in there,” he suggested breathlessly, and I bit my swollen lip reluctantly before nodding in agreement.  
  
He took my hand and together we walked back up the stone staircase and into the party.  
  
Isobel jumped up from her pouf as we entered.  
  
“Alex, where on earth have you been? And why do you have lipstick all over your… oh, I see,” She stopped short as we approached the group and she noticed Sirius behind me.  
  
“Sirius, sweetie, come and sit with us, will you?” She soon covered up her surprise with a welcoming smile and I rolled my eyes in amusement at her manners, “Is Remus with you tonight?”  
  
“I’m sure he’s still around here somewhere,” Sirius answered as he accepted a drink from Xavier and took a seat, then added with a knowing grin, “I’m sure he’d love to see you,”  
  
Isobel’s face flushed lightly, “I’ll see if I can find him,”  
  
I laughed lightly as I watched her leave and Sirius took my hand and pulled me down beside him, and I ignored all the curious stares and wolf whistles surrounding us as I let him kiss me.  
  
I had absolutely no idea what tomorrow would bring, but I didn’t care, because I was with him – and I mean I was really  _with_  him – no walls, no barriers, everything had broken down in a wave, as finally, I was beginning to feel a little lighter.  
  
A little while later I let Sirius walk me back to my Common Room, as I had had a little too much to drink and was feeling rather unstable on my own feet.  
  
We had stopped at the stone snake that marked the entrance, and I spoke the password and watched it twist and turn to reveal the open doorway.  
  
“Someone’s looking like she’s had much too much fun tonight,” Sirius laughed as he watched me swaying unsteadily in my heels.  
  
I narrowed my eyes darkly and pressed my lips into a dramatically tight line.  
  
“Stop making fun of me.”  
  
Sirius chuckled playfully and reached out to draw me towards him, circling his arms around my waist and I let my fingers run over his arms, feeling the strength in them that had come from years of playing Quidditch. He tilted his face towards mine gently before whispering, so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips.  
  
“Now why would I do something like that?”  
  
And then he was kissing me… again.  
  
Gently, at first, but when my hands moved to the back of his neck and clutched his collar desperately, he wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed me harder, his hands moving to my hair and tugging the strands out from the ponytail they were in so they spilled over my shoulder in a waterfall of black.  
  
I pushed myself into him, biting his lip roughly and running my fingers through his raven hair and as I had far too many times that evening, I found myself melting against his touch.  
  
“Okay, Sirius, stop,” I giggled breathlessly as he rained kisses down on my throat, collarbone, shoulders. It was only after I had pushed him away and given him a final kiss goodnight that he left, throwing a last careless wink over his shoulder before strolling down the corridor.  
  
I sighed lowly, my heart pounding like a drum before turning and all but stumbling through the passage into the common room, grinning to myself like an idiot.  
  
Until I spotted someone who wiped the smile clean off of my face.  
  
Sitting in an armchair by the dying fire – his large nose thrust in an old book and his unkempt strands of raven hair falling across his face.  
  
Severus Snape.  
  
He looked up as I entered, his face a mask of emotions – disappointment, annoyance, disapproval. I knew undoubtedly that he had heard me and Sirius together.  
  
“Sev, I should explain,“ I spluttered as I started towards him. He shut his book closed with a loud  _clack_  and stood to face me, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.  
  
“Don’t,” Severus spat, raising a pale hand to halt me. “You know, Alex, I had hoped to speak to you tonight to make sure that you were okay after what had happened at Hogsmeade today. But instead, I find myself wondering how I can ever speak to you at all.”  
  
“Please-“ I started, feeling a rush of dread wash over me. I couldn’t lose Severus too, not after I had lost so much already.  
  
Severus stared at me through black, slitted eyes, “Did you ever truly love him? Evan? Did you ever care about any of us?”  
  
I inhaled sharply - of course I had loved Evan, even hearing his name sent a wave of guilt and heartbreak coursing through me like liquid fire.  
  
“You can’t seriously be asking me that, Severus,” I responded, my voice a low warning.  
  
Severus looked away from me, letting his curtain of black hair cover his face. His voice trembled with emotion when he spoke again.  
  
“I know, Alex – I know how it feels to watch someone you love slip further and further away and know that there is nothing you can do. I know how it feels to suffer, and sneaking around with your enemies is no remedy for that.”  
  
“It’s not like that!” I defended, too blinded by my fury to understand exactly what Severus was saying to me.  
  
“Then tell me, what is it exactly?” He questioned, his voice a thread of bitterness, “Why  _Black_?”  
  
I stopped, taken aback by the harshness in his voice – I knew all too well the hatred he harboured towards Sirius and the other Marauders, and I could hardly blame him.  
  
But I also knew that Sirius Black had changed.  
  
“I love him, Sev,” I held my hands up in defence as I struggled to explain to one of my best friends how I had fallen for the very guy that for years had been his tormentor.  
  
Severus made to argue but I cut him off, trying desperately to explain, “He’s a good guy. I know that he’s been a complete prat in the past, but I’ve seen another side of him. He’s changed, he really has,”  
  
“I don’t believe you,” Severus spoke firmly – his bitterness plain and clear “You’ve battled with that sorry excuse for a Wizard for years and now you just go and fall in love with him? There’s something wrong with that picture, Alex – _very_  wrong.”  
  
“I don’t expect you to understand, but it is what it is. At least know that they won’t bother you anymore – I won’t let them.”  
  
Severus sneered at me darkly. “You truly are stupid if you think that you can control them. If only you knew,” He tore his hands through his dark hair in frustration. “Merlin, if only you  _knew_  how dangerous they are! Lupin especially, he’s- “  
  
Severus cut off abruptly, turning his back on me and shielding his black eyes from my stare.  
  
I tried to shake the drunken cloudiness from my head – I just couldn’t make sense of what he was saying to me.  
  
“What are you talking about, Sev? What do you know about Remus?”  
  
Severus exhaled slowly, and his shoulders slumped dejectedly.  
  
“I’m sworn to secrecy – I won’t tell. Just… be careful.”  
  
I couldn’t even get another word in before he brushed past me and ambled up the stairs back to his dormitory. I watched him go before dropping down into one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace, watching the dying embers glow bright with orange heat before dulling to a muted grey.  
  
What had he meant by Remus being dangerous, and how could he possibly know such a thing? As far as I could tell, Remus was a bright and brilliant student; he was friendly, patient and playful.  
  
He was a good friend – he couldn’t possibly be dangerous.  
  
Could he?  
  
***  
  
The next morning I stepped out from my dormitory, freshly showered and dressed in my uniform, pumped and ready to face the midweek madness that was breakfast at Hogwarts.  
  
Okay, that was a lie.  
  
I was showered and dressed, yes, but as for the pumped bit… well, the only pumping that was going on was the pounding of the hammer in my head.  
  
Oh, the joys of drinking on a week night.  
  
I stepped into the Hall and into a throng of madness; Ravenclaws were at the Hufflepuff table and Gryffindors were mingling all over the show and the Slytherins… well, of course they’re the only ones who had stuck to their own table, for the most part.  
  
I glanced briefly over to my House mates and noted Narcissa and a couple of her friends sitting with Regulus, Rabastan and Severus – all that was left of our once tight-knit group.  
  
A stab of pain hit me as I thought about the missing members. Bellatrix, Lucius, Rodolphus and Evan. It felt like a lifetime ago that we were roaming the corridors, causing havoc and not having a care in the world.  
  
So much had changed.  
  
I had to drag my eyes away from the Slytherins and start over to the Ravenclaw table in the middle of the Hall where I had been sitting for meals lately. I stopped, a little surprised when I found Sirius, James, Xavier and Max all having some heated debate next to Lily and Serenity who were gossiping madly about whatever it is that twits like to talk about and Isobel, Kendra and Violet who were watching with amusement as Remus levitated various breakfast foods into Peter’s open mouth.  
  
What… the hell… is going on…  
  
I glanced up at the Professors table, wondering if they’ve noticed the menagerie they’re sitting amongst but they all seemed as cheerfully daft as ever, sipping their pumpkin juice and looking over the students fondly.  
  
Sirius soon noticed me standing in the middle of the tables like a loon, wondering where on earth I was supposed to sit, and ushered me over to squeeze into the space between him and Xavier.  
  
I sat rather rigidly on the bench, the butterflies in my stomach going crazy as my arm brushed against Sirius’ and he looked down at me with a knowing grin.  
  
I didn’t quite know where to look.  
  
Last night I was extremely drunk.  
  
Last night Sirius Black told me that he loved me.  
  
Last night I told Sirius Black that I loved him too.  
  
And then we kissed.  
  
 _A lot._  
  
And I thought that I had been okay with it at the time, but now I’m sitting in the Great Hall having a mild panic attack, and my stomach is doing crazy loops and have I mentioned that I DON’T QUITE KNOW WHERE TO LOOK?  
  
I settled for staring at the ceiling.  
  
“Erm, Cortez – are you okay?” James asked me from across the table and I looked at him with wide-eyes, trying to find words…  _any_ words.  
  
Thankfully a distraction soon appeared in the form of a couple of dozen owls screeching and howling as they soared through the hall, dropping letters into various students’ breakfast foods. I jumped with a start as two separate letters fell on the table in front of me – a small, white envelope and a larger, sky blue one.  
  
I must have been in some sort of daze as it’s not often that I receive letters (Well, except for the ones from my parents that I stash into the pile under my bed without reading), I kind of stared at them for a couple of minutes before Sirius cleared his throat beside me.  
  
“Earth to Alex –are you gonna open those or just stare at them all morning?”  
  
I glared at him darkly before reaching for the blue envelope first. I opened it tentatively, pulling out the sky-blue parchment and reading over it.  
  
 _Dear Miss Cortez,_  
  
 _Kindly come along to my office at 9 a.m. I hope you are enjoying your breakfast._  
  
 _Yours sincerely,_  
  
 _Headmaster Albus Dumbldore_  
  
  
 _P.S The corn flakes are particularly good today._  
  
I looked up at the Professors table, utterly confused. Dumbledore was chattering away with Professor Keyes, eating a bowl of corn flakes by the looks of things.   
  
What a surprise.  
  
I opened the smaller, white envelope next – unfolding the creamy, white parchment and reading over the scrawled letters, written in a black ink.  
  
 _You are being watched._  
  
 _– A_  
  
Almost immediately, my throat tightened, and I scanned and re-scanned those same four words, trying desperately to decipher who would send me such a message.  
  
I chanced a quick look around the Hall. Could it have been someone in this room? Was it just a prank, or even a threat? I couldn’t quite tell, and the thought made me feel extremely uneasy.  
  
“Alex?” Sirius asked lowly as he watched me freeze up, the letter trembling in my hand.  
  
I couldn’t speak – what could I possibly say? To think that just last night I had been so happy, I had forgotten all about the danger that haunts my life.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked again, the concern evident in his voice. I thrust the letter at him in reply.  
  
He read over it quickly, his grey eyes scanning the words and his forehead creasing in concern. He returned the letter to me before voicing my own question.  
  
“Who’s ‘A’?” he asked in a low voice, and I shrugged my shoulders in response.  
  
I had absolutely no idea.  
  
“Do you mind if I…” Sirius asked, indicating in James’ direction and I shook my head, letting him hand the letter over to his best friend who studied it, before announcing through a mouthful of bacon.  
  
“Well, that’s a bit bloody creepy, isn’t it?”  
  
Sirius took the parchment back and smacked James across his scruffy head with it, who protested loudly.  
  
“We’re looking for ideas on _who_  the sender could be, Prongs, not a bloody morning commentary,”  
  
By this time, the entire group were watching us with curious eyes and I sighed before explaining the letter to them all.  
  
“’A’?” Remus scratched his head when I had done speaking, “For anonymous maybe?”  
  
“Adam, Amy, Alan… really, the list goes on – almost everybody’s name starts with an ‘A’!” James exclaimed, and I rolled my eyes in impatience.  
  
“There is literally no-one here who’s name starts with that, you git.”  
  
Hey, just because he was best friends with the guy I fell for, didn’t mean I had to be nice to him.  
  
James scoffed loudly, “As pleasant as always, I see. So, what’s going on with you and Padfoot hmm? Awfully cosy all of a sudden,”  
  
I resisted the urge to murder the sodding prat and settled for narrowing my sapphire eyes at him instead.  
  
“Alex – be nice. Prongs, keep your nose out of everyone else’s business. There, everyone happy now?” Sirius instructed while covering my eyes to keep me from glaring at his moronic friend.  
  
I pushed his hand away irritably – I was  _far_  from happy.  
  
“Erm, anyway,” Remus spoke up, attempting to break the tension. “Alex, I really think you should show this to Dumbledore – it could be a serious threat.”  
  
“No way,” I scoffed as I flicked my dark hair back over my shoulder and reached for a piece of golden toast, “Dumbledore’s friends with my parents, remember? No doubt he’d go telling them what’s going on, getting them all worked up, and I really don’t need to be dealing with their crap on top of everything else.”  
  
“Speaking of your parents…” Xavier started, but I held a finger up to silence him.  
  
“Don’t start, Xave,”  
  
Sirius interjected, “C’mon Alex, are you really just going to keep ignoring them forever? Don’t you want to at least  _try_  to make up with them?  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry – I didn’t realise that I had given you permission to talk to me about my family,”  
  
He rolled his eyes darkly, “Don’t be like that,”  
  
Isobel clicked her tongue loudly, “Don’t mind her – she tends to get like this when her F-A-M-I-L-Y is mentioned,”  
  
What the hell? Was I really  _that_  bad?  
  
“Hey, I’m sitting right here, you know. Actual family member of the stroppy cow,” Serenity piped up from where her and Lily were  _eavesdropping_ beside James.  
  
“Don’t make me throw this grapefruit at you,” I threatened her, eyeing the fruit bowl before adding, “Why exactly are you two sitting here anyway? Are you guys  _friend_ s now, or something?”  
  
I asked while pointing between Lily and James, who’s faces immediately flushed with colour.  
  
James began to splutter something but I dismissed him with a wave of my hand, “You know what? I’d rather not know,”  
  
I sighed dramatically and turned to Sirius. “I’m sorry, okay? I really don’t know what’s going on there so I just like to try and pretend that the problem doesn’t exist,”  
  
“That’s seriously unhealthy,” James remarked.  
  
“Still sitting right here,” Serenity reminded us all.  
  
I ignored them both, because Sirius was grinning down at me in disbelief, and I just couldn’t tear myself away from those stormy eyes of his…  
  
And then the world exploded.  
  
Sirius Black kissed me in front of the  _entire_  Great Hall.  
  
And for a few seconds I let him – that was until I heard the collective gasp running through the students and I pulled back abruptly.  
  
Most of the people sitting with us had the smuggest looks plastered on their faces that they could muster – except for James, of course, whose face was twisted into an expression of utter disgust.  
  
“Godric, I knew the two of you had something weird going on but would you mind leaving us out of your snog sessions? My eyes are burning, I swear.”  
  
And in that moment I couldn’t help myself.  
  
I laughed.  
  
Because for the first time in my life, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  
  
***  
  
“Miss Cortez, please come in,”  
  
I shuffled into Professor Dumbledores office later that morning as requested, traipsing past the various gizmos and gadgets that were whirring and clinking on small silver tables, before taking a seat at the desk opposite the Headmaster himself.  
  
“Thank you for coming – I know how important classes are with N.E.W.T exams lurking just around the corner, but I have a matter of the utmost importance to discuss with you.”  
  
I waved my hand dismissively, “If this is about what happened in Hogsmeade yesterday…”  
  
Dumbledore surveyed me curiously through sapphire eyes, “Yes, it is.”  
  
He clasped his long fingers together before leaning forwards on his desk a little and peered at me through his half-moon spectacles.  
  
“I understand that it is Mr Rosier and Mr Lestranges intention to not return to Hogwarts, and as their whereabouts are currently unknown, there is not a lot I can do on the matter. However, that is not what I wish to speak to you about. I want you to know that I care deeply about your welfare, Alexandra, though as of late I have been entirely concerned about the state of it.”  
  
“I’m fine, Professor – really I am,”  
  
“I’ve received a letter for you – it’s from your parents. They thought it safer if the information in this letter was delivered through me,”  
  
I raised my eyebrows curiously at this information.  
  
“They have also sent me an invitation to the St Mungo’s annual fundraising ball. A very kind gesture – It seems that this year the Minister for Magic himself will be attending to present your father with the Ministry’s annual award for Highest Wizarding Achievement.”  
  
I faltered a little at the news. My Father was a talented Wizard, that was for sure, and an even better Healer, but I didn’t know what achievement would grant him such an honour.  
  
“That’s… that’s really great – for him, I mean.”  
  
Dumbledore’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at me.  
  
“You should be very proud. But enough of that, this letter of course is for you, and I do hope that you know that my doors are always open to you, should you need me.”  
  
I thanked Dumbldore before leaving his office, stopping outside where I perched myself on a low, stone step and examined the letter.  
  
A strange wash of emotions came over me. Why would my parents send a letter addressed to me to Dumbledore? What information was in the letter that they needed to keep safe?  
  
I took a deep breath, inhaling the cold winter’s air and feeling it expand in my lungs before fingering the writing on the front of the stark, white envelope.  
  
 _‘Alexandra Valentina Cortez_ ’  
  
It was my Mothers’ writing, that much I could tell – I had read the scrawling, cursive script my entire life. I opened the envelope and pulled out the crisp parchment.  
  
 _Dearest Ally,_  
  
 _I know that we haven’t been on the best terms the past couple of years, and for that I am sorry._  
  
 _From what we’ve heard in Albus’ letters to us and Serenity’s holidays back home, you have not had the easiest year at Hogwarts, and your Father and I deeply regret that we have not been able to support you during this phase of your life._  
  
 _Please come home for Easter, Ally. You are the light of our lives and we miss you dearly. Your Father is to be honoured by the Ministry at their annual ball for his restorative work against Dark Magic, and we would love to be there as a family, once again, to show our support for him._  
  
 _Remember, I love you always._  
  
 _Mum._  
  
I finished reading over the letter to find patches of wetness on my face. I wiped them away hastily – my Mother sure did have a way with words.  
  
Easter was a couple of weeks away yet, but it seemed to me that I had a big decision to make.  
  
***  
  
With a heavy sigh I dropped into my seat in History of Magic, pulling my parchment and quill from my bag before hearing someone clear their throat beside me.  
  
I looked up to find Isobel, fair eyebrows raised in question and red lips pursed.  
  
“So… what happened in Dumbledores office?”  
  
"Oh, that,” I answered, going back to rummaging in my bag for my book, “He just had a letter from my parents for me,”  
  
“What!” Isobel squawked loudly, before clapping her hand across her mouth and turning quickly to see if Professor Binns had heard her sudden outburst.  
  
Binns, in his usual fashion, just kept droning on about the 1717 Council of Magical Law that first deemed the Unforgivable curses “unforgivable” without even the blink of an eye, not paying any attention to the class in front of him. I noticed Stamford Jorkins and his mate throwing enchanted paper planes across the room and wondered briefly how anyone actually managed to pass this subject.  
  
“Well, what did it say?” She enquired, once satisfied that she could safely talk without gaining Binns attention.  
  
I flicked my long hair over my shoulder and leaned back in my seat, “They want me to go home for Easter – and something about my Dad being the guest of honour at the Ministry’s ball,”  
  
“Wow,” Isobels forehead crumpled in thought, “Will you go?”  
  
“I don’t know yet,”  
  
“Oh, Alex, you really should – don’t you miss home?”  
  
“I have to think about it,” I said, growing increasingly flustered as I tried to block the thoughts of my childhood home out of my head.  
  
Isobel backed off, leaving me in peace, though as much as I tried I just couldn’t force myself to make a final decision about this.  
  
I missed my home, yes – I could hardly lie about that. I missed the House-elf twins, Prim and Rosie, rushing around the manor trying to keep order but mostly causing chaos instead. I missed the sparkling lake at the end of the grounds and the rope swing that swung out all the way over the water. I missed the meals that my Mum and Wilbur would cook in the kitchen together every day, and the sight of my Dad sitting in his study pouring over his medical books while Serenity asked him a million questions and I lounged around flicking through all the pictures in his books.  
  
I sighed quietly to myself and glanced around the room, noticing for the first time Severus who was sitting alone at one of the benches at the back. An uneasiness settled itself in my stomach and I turned away quickly, thinking over what Severus had said the night before about the Marauders – and Remus especially.  
  
I thought about this the entire time until next lesson, Potions, where I could finally ask Sirius about it and get some answers.  
  
However, Slughorn bustled into the class before I had the chance to ask and announced that we would be taking a practice exam that day, to prepare us for our upcoming N.E.W.Ts, and I wanted to smack my head against the desk in frustration,  
  
Exams meant no talking, and N.E.W.Ts meant I was one step closer to having to decide what I wanted to do once I left Hogwarts for good.  
  
Naturally, I still hadn’t figured it out.  
  
Since Sirius was busy with Quidditch training that evening, it wasn’t until the next night during our Advanced lesson that I finally got to speak to him about it.  
  
I rushed into the Great Hall with Isobel and Kendra, noting the absence of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and that we weren’t the last ones to arrive for once.  
  
Sirius greeted me with a grin and pulled me into his arms, much to the curiosity of everyone around us. I disentangled myself from his grip and gave him a warning look.  
  
“Are you trying to start another mountain of rumours?” I asked him, folding my arms across my chest sternly.  
  
“They’re not rumours if they’re true,”  
  
Sirius winked, before ruffling my dark hair playfully. As much as I tried, I couldn’t help but let a small smile tug my lips upwards, and Sirius let out a bark of laughter before pulling me into his arms again.  
  
We sat on the steps that led to the Professors table as we waited for the rest of the class to arrive. James was seated with Lily a couple of steps up, their heads bowed together as they whispered feverishly, shooting Sirius and I wary glances every now and then.  
  
Serenity was sitting nearby with Selene Silver and Aurelianne Somers, all of who were glaring at us darkly. I ignored them all, and whispered to Sirius so we wouldn’t be overheard.  
  
“Sirius, I heard something last night, about… about Remus. That he's dangerous,"  
  
Sirius tried to act lightly, but I could tell that the question had thrown him off.  
  
“Who would say something as ridiculous as that?”  
  
“Severus, actually.”  
  
“That slimy, little two-faced git,” Sirius hissed between clenched teeth. “Alex, you can’t believe what he says – you know how much he hates us.”  
  
I let out an exasperated breath,“That’s just the thing, Sev isn’t a liar, no matter how he feels. He wouldn’t just make this stuff up,”  
  
“He’s got it all wrong,” Sirius cut me off hotly, “He should’ve just kept his filthy trap shut,”  
  
I studied his face, knowing that there was clearly something he wasn’t telling me. I watched as he clenched his knuckles into a fist – his temper was rising quickly.  
  
“Why won’t you tell me what he meant?”  
  
He let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping as he relaxed a little.  
  
“Alex, please – some secrets are not mine to tell,”  
  
“Well you two certainly look cosy,” A voice interrupted our hushed conversation. It was Serenity – her bright eyes narrowed into slits and her lips twisted into obvious distaste.   
  
I rolled my eyes at my sister tiredly, thoroughly pissed off that she had just interrupted us.  
  
“Don’t start this again, Serenity,”  
  
“So, Sirius, I see you’ve gone through every other girl at Hogwarts that now you’ve finally reached the dregs of the barrel” Selene piped up. She stood  over a head shorter then Serenity, but still, she looked fierce.  
  
“You better shut it, tramp. Everyone can see you’re clearly jealous because Sirius never made anything of you and him.” Kendra jumped in to my defence, and Selene’s mouth curled into a snarl.  
  
“Me? Jealous of  _her_. I don’t think so.”   
  
“Really, Sirius, she’s been with both Malfoy  _and_ Rosier, and we all know how they turned out. You could catch anything from that,” Aurelianne perched her hands on her hips as she looked down at us.  
  
By this point I had had enough. I pushed myself to my feet, thoroughly ready to pummel the bitches until a certain fiery red-head pushed herself in between us.  
  
“That’s enough! They’re obviously happy together so leave them alone,” Lily scolded her friends – her emerald eyes narrowed into a stern glare.  
  
“Lils? You can’t be serious,” Selene asked disbelievingly, though Lily stood firm against her.  
  
“I won’t hesitate to take points from you, Selene. If you don’t have anything useful to say then hold your tongue,”   
  
Selene and Aurelianne moved to the other side of the room, complaining loudly as they did so. Serenity sat back down on the steps, glancing awkwardly between me and her daft friends.  
  
“Thanks, Lils,” Sirius said, and she smiled warmly.  
  
I didn’t even know that she was capable of doing that.  
  
“Don’t listen to them – bitches, all of them,” Sirius grinned as he whispered in my ear and I smiled gratefully, forgetting the dark glares of Selene and Aurelianne.  
  
Though the question of Remus was stilling hanging around in the back of my mind. If it was a secret that Sirius couldn't tell, then maybe I would have to go straight to the source - Remus himself.  
  
It wasn’t much longer before the rest of the students began to arrive – trailed by Professor Keyes, who would be taking our lesson that night. We all gathered around in a circle before Keyes started to explain our task.  
  
“Tonight we will be learning one of the most powerful defensive charms known to wizardkind,” Keyes began as he paced the inside of the circle, pushing his stringy, black hair out of his face as he spoke.  
  
“You may think it strange for me to be teaching a Charm, in place of Professor Flitwick, but the particular one we will be learning is the best defence against certain dark creatures – Dementors and Lethifolds. Can anyone hazard a guess as to what this charm might be?”  
  
“The Patronus Charm, Professor,” Remus spoke up, and Keyes clapped his hands in confirmation.  
  
“Yes, Mr Lupin, the Patronus Charm is correct. This particular charm is difficult – many of you may find it harder than your own upcoming N.E.W.Ts, but it is absolutely  _necessary_  that you know how to produce at least a non-corporal version of this spell.”  
  
Professor Keyes removed his wand from inside a black, velvet waistcoat, which he wore over a cream shirt.  
  
“You will not find a creature fouler then a soul-sucking Dementor or the carnivorous Lethifold. These creatures are easily swayed by powers darker than their own, and in the past have been known servants to Dark Witches and Wizards. So, we must learn how to defend ourselves against these terrors should the need arise. Everyone pick a partner.”  
  
Everyone shuffled to find a partner and I scanned the room for Remus briefly before meeting his almond eyes and smiling warmly.  
  
“So, you ready to do this?” Remus asked as he approached me, and I was about to answer before something grabbed me around the waist and pulled me backwards.  
  
“Uh, uh, Moony – this girl’s mine now,”  
  
I shrieked in surprise before laughing at Sirius’ enthusiasm and mouthing “I’m sorry” to Remus, who simply shrugged his shoulders and paired up with Isobel instead.  
  
 “Well, clearly someone never learnt how to share,” I scolded Sirius’ playfully as he released me and pulled his wand from his pocket.  
  
He offered a dark grin in response.  
  
“Trust me, babe. Now that I’ve got you, I’m never letting go.”  
  
I shook my head at him before taking out my own wand and waiting for Professor Keyes instructions.  
  
Keyes ordered us to stand in two lines, facing our partners. He paced the space between us all slowly.  
  
“The wand movement we want for this spell is a circle in a clockwise motion – but do not rush it – take the time for the Patronus to fully form,”  
  
We all practiced the wand movement for a minute or so, before Keyes moved on to the next step.  
  
“Next is the incantation, ‘ _Expecto Patronum_ ’. Loud and clear, let me hear you,”  
  
Small wisps of silvery light emitted from the end of my wand as I repeated the incantation in time with the movement, over and over again until finally Professor Keyes was happy that we had gotten it right.  
  
“Your Patronus will be your guardian, and in that case a fully corporal Patronus will take the form of an animal – something that represents us personally. For example, mine-“  
  
As Keyes spoke he waved his wand and boomed, “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” and a silvery stream of light emitted from his wand, almost immediately taking shape.  
  
“- is a Raccoon.” Keyes finished his sentence and we watched the luminous creature scurrying back and forth in the air before him, before looping around him a couple of times.  
  
“The Raccoon symbolises curiosity and open-mindedness. An example of this is that I have a deep intrigue for the Dark Arts, knowing that the key to defending ourselves against it lies within first understanding the very core of it – in that way, also you could say that I am open-minded towards it.”  
  
With a small flick of his wand, the Patronus disappeared into thin air.  
  
I locked eyes with Kendra for a moment and she mouthed “I knew it!” to me before giggling and turning back to Professor Keyes.  
  
“Legend has it that only those who are pure of heart are capable of casting a Patronus, but this is false, as you have just witnessed. However, to fuel your own Patronus you must think of the happiest thought you possess. The reason you will be performing this Charm in pairs, is so your partner can help to encourage your happy thoughts should you find any difficulty. Now, you may begin.”  
  
“You first,” Sirius instructed, and I readied my wand nervously.  
  
I tried to think of my happiest memory – filtering through all of the fear and pain that my life had been lately. I thought of my friends, looking around the room as I saw them all – Isobel, Kendra, Xavier, Remus… and I suppose even James and Peter were okay sometimes.  
  
I can’t believe I just said that.  
  
With this thought I circled my wand, speaking the incantation.  
  
A small shred of silvery light left my wand, but no more, and I looked up to see Sirius’ chuckling quietly to himself.  
  
“Why are you laughing?” I demanded, thoroughly annoyed at my lack of skill, though Sirius held his hands up in defence.  
  
“I’m sorry, you just looked so cute concentrating that hard. Try again,”  
  
I glared at him unhappily before trying to think of something else to help the spell. Taking a deep breath in to calm myself, I tried desperately to pull something up.   
  
I glanced at Sirius – he made me happy, didn’t he?  
  
I can’t believe I just asked myself that question.  
  
Well, when he wasn’t being an insufferable prat he was usually making me laugh, and the way he looked at me sent my stomach into an insane flurry of butterflies, and then the way he kissed me…  
  
I tried the charm again, and this time the Patronus worked a little better. It hovered around in front of me, though I couldn’t quite make out the form.  
  
“Look at that!” Sirius clapped as he walked over and inspected the Patronus, “Still no idea what it is, but it’s much better. What were you thinking of, huh? You were thinking about me, weren’t you?”  
  
I could feel my face turning red as I pushed Sirius away, “You try it, then!”  
  
Sirius grinned, circling his wand and speaking “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”  
  
A gush of light emerged from his wand.  
  
“Oh, would you look at that.”  
  
“Quit showing off, Padfoot!” I could hear James yelling from somewhere nearby.  
  
My mouth literally dropped open as a large, silvery dog appeared – circling Sirius before it sat beside him contentedly, its large ears sticking up in the air and it’s tongue lolling from its mouth happily.  
  
“How… just, how?” I stuttered rather stupidly before Professor Keyes appeared beside us.  
  
“Impressive Patronus, Mr Black! A dog? Loyalty and intuition – admirable traits,” Keyes observed before moving on to the next group.  
  
“A stag, and a doe!” I could hear him exclaiming as he moved on to where James and Lily were practicing together, “How sweet.”  
  
I stared at Sirius pointedly, who shrugged his shoulders before explaining, “I’ve had some practice, okay – I know it’s not that easy,”  
  
I sighed lowly as I watched the other students around the class – some of who were producing only wisps of smoke like me, and others with either partly or fully formed Patronuses.  
  
The key to forming a Patronus was a happy thought, or a memory. Why was that so difficult for me to conjure?  
  
“Not fully formed yet, Miss Carysfort, but keep trying,” Professor Keyes observed Kendras petite Patronus as he moved around the room. “It looks like something with wings, at any rate.”  
  
“Perhaps a butterfly, Professor,” Kendra asked hopefully.  
  
He scratched his chin in thought, “My guess would be a dragonfly, judging by the movements.”  
  
Next he moved on to Remus and Isobel, who were both having much more luck then I was.  
  
“Ah, Miss Mosely, the tender-hearted dove – very fitting – and a wolf for you, Mr Lupin!”  
  
I shuddered as I watched Remus’ wolf Patronus bound around him.  
  
Professor Keyes moved on to Oliver and Xavier next. Oliver was only managing to produce mere wisps of light, but Xaviers was a little more defined.  
  
“I must say that is an unusual Patronus, Mr Stone. A spider, is it? Do not be put off, lad. The spider is a symbol of balance, and a reminder that we must spin our own destinies,”  
  
I turned back to Sirius with a defeated sigh, “I don’t think I can do this.”  
  
Sirius put a hand on my shoulder, “Stop being so miserable and try one more time – I know that you can do it. Just close your eyes and think of whatever comes to your mind,”  
  
I exhaled sharply in frustration, but did as he asked and closed my eyes.  
  
For a few seconds all I could think of was madness – Evan and Rodolphus, my conversation with Severus the night before, Selene and Aurelianne and their pettiness, the ghostly wolf-form of Remus’ Patronus, the mystery letter I had received at breakfast – it was all tumbling around in my mind like a raging storm.  
  
I kept at it for a while longer, and soon all of the chaos began to filter out and I passed into more of a daydream.  
  
The white-washed stone walls of the manor, the deep lake waters glistening under the summer sun, the Willow tree that hung over the water, it’s leaves falling red and gold in the winter, the Elves and their bright, happy eyes, my Mums home cooking and my Dads medical books.  
  
I opened my eyes – I was ready to try again.  
  
“ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”  
  
A strange sort of rushing sensation coursed through me and my Patronus shot out of my wand quick as a dart – it was  _fast_. It circled around me a couple of times, darting back and forth, it’s movement like an arrow, before stopping in front of me in mid-air and I let out a low gasp of delight.  
  
It was a fox.  
  
Its bushy tail swayed in the air and its ears perked up as it looked at me though pale, silvery eyes and I felt as if a part of my own being was sitting right in front of me – it was the most bizarre feeling.  
  
“You did it – I knew you could!” Sirius exclaimed breathlessly, kissing me on the cheek in triumph.  
  
I stopped suddenly, and looked at him, searching his stormy eyes. I knew then finally, what I had to do.  
  
“Sirius, I need to tell you something,”  
  
“What is it?” He questioned, his expression suddenly turned from joy to mild concern.  
  
“I’m going home,”  
  
 _And back to that daydream._


	35. Saying Goodbye

 “Shit, shit, shit!”  
  
I muttered lowly to myself as I searched around my dormitory furiously, up-ending trunks and rummaging through bed sheets until clothes and other various personal belongings littered the entire room, making it look like some kind of warzone.  
  
I sniffed unpleasantly as I took a moment to survey the damage I had done to the room.   
  
Still, I didn’t give up my search.  
  
“Where the hell are you?!” I screeched in frustration, to no-one in particular.  I dropped on all fours to the cold stone floor and scanned underneath the bed frames for at least the tenth time – my eyes penetrating the stale air surrounding the piles of unopened letters, mis-matched shoes and dozens of old, Honeydukes candy wrappers.  
  
I blamed Violet for that last one.  
  
And then, mercifully, a glint of something familiar caught my eye. Something scarlet and gold peeking out from underneath my overturned trunk and my heart leapt in joy.   
  
I had never been so happy to see those two rotten colours in my life.  
  
I grabbed at the object with a sigh of relief and wrapped it around my neck wearily.  
  
Sirius’ Gryffindor house scarf.  
  
I wrinkled my nose in judgement as I stepped in front of the tall mirror. Today was the big match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, and I had previously made the mistake of jokingly telling Sirius that I should wear something to show my support for his team.  
  
He, however, obviously hadn’t sensed the sarcasm in my voice and had immediately insisted on me wearing his house scarf.  
  
Well, at least I would be warm, I supposed.  
  
I tore my eyes away from my reflection and hurried down the stairs to the Common Room, running my fingers through my long hair to disentangle the knots that had formed during my rampage, and becoming increasingly aware of how late I was for the match.  
  
It was hardly my fault though, I thought to myself as I zipped up the front of my jacket roughly. I could hardly help it if the scarf had been misplaced during the riot of four girls trying to get ready for the game earlier, and I couldn’t well show up without the damn thing.  
  
Well, that was the story I was sticking to anyway.  
  
I had assured the girls that I didn’t mind if they went on to the match without me, while I continued my search for the scarf. That would have been a good while ago now, I noted, with a sickening feeling in my stomach.  
  
Merlin, I hoped that Sirius wouldn’t notice.  
  
I picked up the pace as I sprinted through the corridors, my shoes tapping loudly against the stone floor as I made my way through the dungeons. The sound of my footsteps echoed off the old walls and rang through my ears with a dull thud.  
  
I skidded around the next corner only to stop dead in my tracks a mere second before hurling into a small boy who was hurrying in the opposite direction to me.  
  
He stopped too when he noticed me towering above him, his eyes anxious as they darted between me and the corridor behind. He would have only been a First Year, by the looks of him. He wore a t-shirt which was at least three sizes too big for him and had a light sprinkling of freckles across his nose. For a minute or so we stood there, looking at each other dumbly – my eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion and his voice shaking unsteadily as he squeaked through laboured breaths.  
  
“This… is for you,”  
  
“Huh?” I muttered lamely, but no sooner had I taken the cream envelope from his outstretched hand, he had turned on his heel and bolted back down the corridor and out of sight.  
  
I shook my head impatiently. First Years, what use were they, really? Except as a stand in for owls, I guessed, as I studied the envelope I held. My breath caught in my throat as I recognised it immediately – it was the very same kind of envelope that I had received a few days ago with the mysterious message in it.   
  
 _You are being watched._  
  
My stomach tightened uncomfortably – I was apprehensive about what this note might say, if it was even from the same sender. I still hadn’t figured out who the previous note had been from, though a million possibilities ran tirelessly through my mind. Still, I had no choice but to steel my nerves as I drew in a nervous breath before pulling out the parchment and studying the words carefully.  
  
 _Meet us at the Ministry Ball. We need to talk._  
  
 _– F_  
  
I let my breath out in a slow exhale of warmth. The handwriting was different to the previous message, and so was the initial. Could that mean that there were multiple people out there who were watching me? And what could they possibly want to talk to me about at the Ball? Perhaps it was a trap, or some twisted game set by Lucius, or Travers or even Greyback –  _though I was fairly uncertain he even knew how to write_  – to lure me out where they could strike at me.  
  
But how on earth could I find out what this all meant?  
  
I folded the crisp parchment in half between my fingers – and then it struck me.  
  
 _Someone_  had given that boy this envelope to deliver, and I was going to find out who it was.  
  
In a flurry of tangled hair and oversized knitwear, I sprinted down the corridor in the direction that the boy had left. I _had_  to catch up to him – this could be the only chance I had to find out who was sending me those creepy letters, and whether or not they meant me any harm.  
  
I exited the dungeons swiftly and scanned the Entrance Hall, looking for any signs of life. The entire population of the castle would be down at the Pitch by now, where I knew that I should be too, but where was I instead? Chasing down some little ginger-haired kid who had apparently vanished into thin air.  
  
I stopped for a moment. Was this really as crazy as that sounded in my head?  
  
Where the hell had the kid gone? He only had short legs, I thought to myself, surely he couldn’t have gotten that far.   
  
I let out an impatient breath as I looked around the cavernous room once more – and then I spotted him.  
  
Sitting on the lowest step of the Grand Staircase, his ginger locks of hair dishevelled as he caught his breath while tapping his foot against the stone. He looked up, alarmed, as I approached, and pushed himself to his feet hastily.  
  
“You!” I pointed an accusing finger at him and yelled, a little more aggressively then I had meant to.  
  
“Who gave you this?”  
  
I shook the letter in front of his nose and he stuttered nervously, taking a small pace backwards.  
  
“A man – I saw him when I was leaving Professor Dumbledore’s office, he was just about to go in. He asked me to give it to you,”  
  
“Did he say anything else?” I demanded, crumpling the letter in my fist in frustration.  
  
“Only that if I opened it before you got it that he’d put Horklumps in my bed while I’m sleeping,”  
  
“What the…”  
  
I stopped suddenly when I noticed tears beginning to pool in the corners of the boys brown eyes, and my chest tightened instinctively.  
  
“Are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, and I’m sure that man didn’t mean the thing about the Horklumps,”  
  
“It’s-it’s not you. It’s my Mum” he explained, his voice quivering with emotion, “Professor Dumbledore told me that she… she was on a train when Dark Wizards attacked it, they almost sent it right off the rails,”   
  
Immediately my hand covered my mouth as I gasped in horror. This poor boy had just gotten the worst possible news of his life, and here I was demanding information and probably scaring the living daylights out of the little guy.  
  
I am a  _terrible_  human being.  
  
“She’s okay though,” He added quickly, upon seeing my reaction, “She has a few bruises, but she’s safe. I’m going to see her tomorrow.”  
  
I let out a sigh of relief, my heart aching for the boy and his family. His story, his reaction and everything really – it struck a chord with me that didn’t sit well.  
  
I couldn’t just ignore it.  
  
“What’s your name?” I asked him softly as I sank down to his height. He twisted his hands in the hem of his crimson jumper nervously.  
  
“Logan Dwerryhouse,”  
  
“Do you like Quidditch, Logan?”  
  
The boy nodded his head timidly, and I thought for a moment, trying to come up with an idea that might cheer him up.  
  
“Head down to the stands and ask for my friend, Remus Lupin, do you know of him? He’ll have found the best seats in the place, I guarantee it,”  
  
Logans face lit up, his freckled cheeks flushing with a bright glow, and he went to head off before stopping and saying thoughtfully.  
  
“The man you’re looking for… he was with someone else. I think it was his brother,”  
  
I watched as he disappeared out the door and onto the grounds, and I stared at the spot where he had vanished, long after he was gone. The last sentence he had spoken to me… I had heard it, but at that moment I couldn’t quite comprehend the meaning of it.  
  
My mind was drawn instead to the lives outside the walls of Hogwarts – the ones who didn’t have the protection of the castle to shield them from the horrors that ran rampant in the night. I knew that things were bad outside of the school, but nothing had affected me quite so much as this.   
  
I thought of Logan, only eleven years old, and how close his Mother had come to death. How close the most important person in his life was very nearly snatched away from him. And for what? For the pleasure and amusement of some sick, and twisted Dark Lord who tormented those who defied him and killed who he deemed not worthy enough to possess magical talent.  
  
He who took respectable young men and women and turned them into devastating weapons, trained solely for the purpose of carrying out his every wish.  
  
It was nothing short of barbaric, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.  
  
In that single moment I hated Voldemort more than I had ever hated anything in my life – everything he had done, and everything that he stood for was complete and utter bullshit. I wanted to do something to stop it. But what could I possibly do against an evil like that?  
  
I shook the thoughts from my mind – thinking of them now only served to make me feel even more helpless. I had long forgotten the letter that I now held tightly in my clenched fist. The paper was crumpled, though for some reason, it didn’t seem as important as it had before.  
  
Still, I forced myself to step up the marble staircase and let my feet carry me in the direction of Dumbledore’s office. I knew I was close to finding answers, so I might as well carry on, even if my mind was plagued with a million other thoughts.  
  
Once I arrived, I found that the door to Dumbledore’s office was shut tight, and I took the bronze knocker and rapped loudly against the heavy, oak door. There was no answer, and I sighed impatiently. If Dumbledore had had guests, surely they would all be in his office, but when I pressed my ear against the smooth wood I heard no voices, or sounds of any sort. I waited for a few minutes, arms crossed stubbornly across my chest, before deciding that the Headmaster must be elsewhere, and tramped back down the circular steps.  
  
At the very bottom, however, I was met by a whoosh of navy-blue robes and I steadied myself against a pillar to keep from toppling over as I recognised the old man who had very nearly run me right over.  
  
Professor Dumbledore peeped down at me curiously for a moment before he spoke.  
  
“Miss Cortez, what are you doing here? I thought you’d be out in the sunshine enjoying the Quidditch match,” He asked, his bushy eyebrows furrowed and his forehead lined in puzzlement.  
  
I was still a little shocked from almost being tangled up in the Headmasters elaborate robes, but I managed to compose myself before answering briskly, “I was looking for your visitors,”  
  
Dumbledore’s deep eyes glinted for a moment behind his spectacles, and I thought that I might have been too forward, before he asked lowly, “Whoever do you mean?”  
  
“The man who gave me this,” I confessed impatiently, holding up the letter for Dumbledore to inspect. I wasn’t about to dance around the obvious, especially not after being in the mood that talking to Logan had left me in.  
  
“Logan Dwerryhouse brought this to me – he said you were meeting with the man who gave it to him,”  
  
Dumbledore took the parchment from my hand and let his quick eyes survey the words before he stopped and took a short breath.  
  
“Very perceptive, that lad – I do hope he was feeling alright when you spoke to him,”  
  
“Yeah… he’s being looked after,” I answered shortly, to which Dumbledore quirked an eyebrow and handed the letter back to me.  
  
“He told me about his Mother,” I added with an exasperated sigh. I wasn’t sure if Dumbledore was deliberately trying to change the subject or not, but suddenly, the emotions that I was holding back poured out of me in pure bitterness.  
  
“How could someone do that? They were so close to destroying a family. It’s… monstrous,”  
  
Dumbledore studied me for a moment, and I noticed him twisting a silver ring on his finger, as if in thought. “Not everyone is as compassionate as you are, Miss Cortez,”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Me?  _Compassionate_?"  
  
I had been called many things over the years, but never that.  
  
Dumbledore nodded and smiled kindly at me, before straightening out his blue robes, which on closer inspection I saw had a glistening silver thread running through them. He clasped his hands in front of him, clearly amused by my reaction.  
  
“You don’t agree?”  
  
I faltered.  
  
“I… uh, guess I’ve never really thought about it,”   
  
Dumbledore nodded his head, as if he had known this answer all along.  
  
“Alexandra, I think that you should go to the Ball, and I think that you should meet with whoever wrote you that message,” He said softly, and my eyes narrowed in suspicion, “Rest assured that they mean you no harm,”  
  
I didn’t know what it was that the old loon knew that I didn’t, but when it came down to it, the fact of the matter was… I trusted him.  
  
Curious how things change, isn’t it?  
  
So I allowed my resolve to waver, and watched it flitter away like an autumn leaf in a warm wind. I could see that Dumbledore would divulge no further information on the matter, and I knew that he had his reasons.  
  
“Okay,” I agreed, and he clapped his hands together once in satisfaction.  
  
I wrinkled my nose at his odd behaviour, but knew better then to question it.  
  
“I regret having missed the beginning of the Quidditch match,” He mused, as he began to steer me away from him office, “But as you well know, I had urgent matters to attend to. I expect that if we hurry we can still make it in time for the grand finale, whatever that may be. Will you accompany me?”  
  
Well, I couldn’t exactly say no – I was heading in the same direction – so together, Professor Dumbledore and I made our way down to the pitch. Along the way he thought it ideal to ask me questions about my classes, and I was surprised to find that he knew so much about my academics. He knew that Defense was my favourite class, that I had struggled with Potions earlier in the year but had improved considerably, and that I was doing well in the Advanced Lessons.   
  
My suspicious nature made me wonder just how much he actually knew about me.  
  
Ugh, that was a scary thought.  
  
“Thank you for the company,” He said cheerfully as we reached the pitch, and then he pointed a long finger at the scarf I was wearing.   
  
“I must say, the colours are lovely – but I do believe that green is more your hue,”  
  
He left me with those words, before strolling off to the Teacher’s stand, and I couldn’t help but to smile to myself softly.  
  
I knew what it was that he meant.  
  
I shortly made my way through the crowds in the stands to find my friends. The first familiar face I saw was Xavier – he was dressed in a scarlet jumper and jeans, with a small boy propped up on his shoulders who I immediately recognised as Logan.   
  
He and the others were seated in front of the railing, right up in all the action and I chuckled lowly, knowing that I was right when I said they’d have the best seats.  
  
Logan looked much happier then when I had left him last – he was grinning broadly and enthusiastically pointing out the players to Remus, who was cheering them on from beside him, waving a Gryffindor flag in his hands. Peter, Max and Oliver greeted me as I struggled through the mass of students to meet them.  
  
“Thanks for looking after Logan,” I puffed at last, grateful to Xavier and Remus, who shrugged casually.  
  
“He’s a cool guy – he said you sent him to find us,” Remus answered with a thumbs up.  
  
“Yeah, he needed some cheering up,”  
  
“Mission accomplished,” Xavier chuckled as he attempted to steady a swaying Logan who was whooping loudly on his shoulders.  
  
I soon spotted Isobel, Kendra and Violet perched on the benches next to the boys, who pulled me over to them hastily, and I bustled over before raising my eyebrows in amusement.  
  
“Iz, what the hell are you wearing?” I enquired upon seeing her sunshine-yellow top with matching skirt. She was a little dot of yellow floating in a sea of red.  
  
Isobel bit her lip, looking down at her attire and shrugging carelessly.  
  
“Oh, I didn’t want the Hufflepuffs to feel left out,”  
  
I laughed openly and gestured to the other two.  
  
“That’s it, we’re kicking her out of Slytherin,”  
  
“Let’s just pretend she was trying for gold,” Violet joked with a wave of her hand, and Isobel pouted childishly.  
  
“Where were you, anyway?” Kendra’s tone turned serious, and I clicked my tongue dismissively.  
  
“We were worried,” Isobel added, before returning to watching the game avidly.  
  
“I just got distracted that’s all,” I answered, before asking the question that everyone but myself knew the answer to.  
  
“So, who’s winning?”  
  
Violet used a slim hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun attempting to peek out from behind gloomy grey clouds, and looked out across the pitch. “It’s close. Gryffindor are only 10 points ahead,”  
  
“Thanks to that boyfriend of yours – he’s intercepted at least three goals with his Bludgers already,” Kendra added with a knowing smirk, “Merlin, he looks good on a broom doesn’t he?”  
  
Boyfriend, huh?  
  
Is that what they all thought?  
  
I laughed the comment off and gave her a playful squeeze on the arm before leaning over the rail to watch the players.  
  
I spotted Sirius easily – swinging his bat in front of him and brushing his dark hair back off of his face. James flew overhead and tossed a comment down to him, which he answered with a bark of laughter.  
  
I felt my breath catch in my throat a little.  
  
Kendra was right. He really  _did_  look good on a broom.  
  
Gryffindor soon scored another goal, and then two more after that. I tried to encourage myself to get into the excitement of the game, but found myself failing miserably as I kept catching my mind wandering to other things. After enough trying, I sat back on the bench with a huff and let it focus on what it was trying to decipher.  
  
Who had sent me those letters?  
  
Who wanted to meet me at the Ministry Ball, and what did they need to talk about?  
  
Why did the story of one little First Years family affect me so much?  
  
I tried to sift through my memories, but I couldn’t come to any conclusion on who the brothers that Logan had told me of could be, or why Dumbledore would want to shield their identities from me.  
  
The game finally ended after what felt like a torturous forty minutes later, with Selene Silver catching the Golden Snitch for Gryffindor and landing them with a hefty win. I was ecstatic for the team, I knew how much the winning the Cup meant to them, especially Sirius and James who were in their final year, and they were so close to it.  
  
After the crowd had dwindled, the group of us, including Logan, lingered at the bottom of the stands waiting for the team to emerge from the locker rooms. I spotted Sirius amongst the players, who beamed at me and took me in his arms.  
  
His excitement was evident, and I giggled lightly as his drenched hair tickled my face and the smell of soap filled my senses.  
  
“So, what did you think of the game?” He asked at last, and I bit my lip nervously, having watched barely any of it.  
  
All of a sudden I felt incredibly guilty.  
  
“Well, you… looked really good out there,” I offered lamely, and Sirius raised an eyebrow in amusement and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me into him.  
  
I could feel chills running up my spine, though I didn’t know if it was from the droplets of water falling from his hair and onto my skin, or his fingers running up my back.  
  
“Oh, really… did you see me stop Jacobs goal in the first quarter? Almost knocked him off his broom!”  
  
I exhaled sharply.  
  
“Yeah… that was a good one,”  
  
“I know you weren’t there, Alex.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
He let me go, and furrowed his eyebrows, but I could still see the hint of a smile playing on his lips. I was sure he wasn’t mad at me for it.  
  
Was he?  
  
“I’m sorry, I got held up,” I held up my hands as I tried to explain guiltily and Sirius folded his arms across his chest and tilted his chin up as he listened to me stutter.  
  
“First, I couldn’t find your scarf, and then I ran into Logan and then there was a letter and then Dumbledore’s office and… I’m sorry, okay?”  
  
“Alex,” Sirius started, his lip quirking upwards again as he pulled me into him and kissed my forehead softly, “It’s fine, okay, I don’t mind. Are you alright?”  
  
I hesitated.   
  
Nothing truly bad was going on, but I still had a lot that I wanted to talk to him about… and then some that I had to work out on my own. Now, however, was not the right time for that, so I smiled warmly and tried to shake the thoughts from my head.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine,”  
  
“Good,” He answered, before turning as James clapped him on the shoulder and announced.  
  
“I’ll see you up there, Padfoot,”  
  
Sirius waved James away, and I watched as the rest of the group followed behind him and back up to the castle.  
  
It was a strange little group of friends, I thought.  
  
But they were mine.  
  
“Hey, listen,” Sirius interrupted my thoughts with his hand under my chin, turning my head to face him, “We’re celebrating the match in the Gryffindor Common room, as usual. Do you want to come?”  
  
I bit my lip, considering the prospect. But as much as I wanted to say yes to please him, I couldn’t help but think that I was in the worst mood to celebrate at present.  
  
“No, you go and be with your team – I need some quiet right now,”  
  
Sirius studied me, his expression a little puzzled.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that,” I groaned, and gave him a playful push, “I just need some peace and quiet for a bit. I’ll meet up with you later,”  
  
Sirius consented, although reluctantly, and kissed me quickly before heading back up to the castle to meet with the rest of the group. I considered going after him for a minute, thinking that perhaps a Quidditch party was exactly the thing I needed to take my mind off of everything.  
  
But when it came down to it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  
  
So instead, I spun and headed out onto the new empty pitch, glancing up at the ominously heavy clouds with a worried mind.  
  
This pitch held so many different memories for me. I had never played Quidditch in my life– hell, I barely even like the game – but it had definitely played a huge part in the lives around me.  
  
I strolled casually to the middle of the pitch and sat down on the soft cushion of grass, looking around the stands and taking in the huge scale of everything around me.  
  
The Slytherin team was in ruins. Already they had seen two Captains leave this year and the entirety of their senior players. They needed to replace both Beaters and announce a new Captain, and if they couldn’t find replacement players by their final match against Hufflepuff, then they would be forced to forfeit. Needless to say, things weren’t looking good for them.  
  
I knew that if Lucius, Evan and Rodolphus were still here, then things would be much different. The Gryffindor team was good, that much was true, but the Slytherins were  _outstanding_. Their departure had had a major effect on the competition for the Quidditch Cup this year, now that they were no longer a threat.  
  
Because they would have won the Cup, Evan and Rodolphus would have played for the Falmouth Falcons, Lucius would have interned at the Ministry for Magic and Bellatrix would have married Rod and raised a family who were all just as stubborn and wild as she was.  
  
That was how things were supposed to happen.  
  
But they didn’t.  
  
I let out a shaky sigh as I thought about how much things had changed for me. It was like I was living a brand new life and I knew, without a doubt, that I was on the right path. So why then, did I keep allowing myself to live in the past?  
  
I knew the reasons, without a doubt.  
  
I missed having a best friend so close that it felt like we were really sisters. It made me sick to my stomach to think of Bellatrix now, her mind being corrupted by so much hate and madness as she fell ever deeper into darkness. And I knew, as my own bitterness grew towards her, she was far beyond the point of being saved.  
  
I missed knowing that Regulus, Rabastan and Narcissa were safe, and being able to actually  _do_  something to protect them, rather than drown in the helplessness of knowing that soon Cissy would be married to a monster and Regulus and Rabastan were being all but forced to follow the footsteps of their family and dive into war.  
  
And I missed Evan.  
  
Not the man who I had last seen in Hogsmeade, who had grown cruel and brutal – but the boy who would piggy-back me up the Common Room stairs, or carry my bag in between classes when it was too heavy for me, or let me win at Wizard Chess even when I knew he could have beaten me as easily as he beat everyone else.  
  
The last thing I had told Evan was that I hated him.  
  
But that wasn’t true.  
  
I hated what he had turned into, and what the war had forced him to be, but I would never truly hate  _him_.  
  
The loss crept through my chest like a vile poison, and though I knew that it was wrong to miss the people who had grown willingly into the key pieces of Voldemort’s dark game, I just couldn’t help myself.  
  
Because part of me felt like I had helped push them that far, and the guilt was overwhelming.  
  
The small of fresh grass filled the air as the cold winter wind twisted around me and I willed the tears to go away.  _I’m stronger than this_ , I thought to myself, but they fell anyway.  
  
So I let them.  
  
I let the warm tears fall thick and fast over my skin and land in a salty pool on my lips, as I remembered everything that was good about the people that I used to love, and allowed myself to miss them freely.  
  
I curled my knees up to my chest and let the sobs overcome me. My emotions were such a mess, I really didn’t know which way to think.  
  
The sun was growing low over the trees when I finally stopped, and I sat motionless for a while, staring at the lushness of the grass that had just over the past few days burst from beneath the freshly melted snow.  
  
After a while I decided it was time to head back up to the castle and slowly, made my way back to the Slytherin common room.  
  
It wasn’t much warmer in the dank corridors of the dungeons, and I had just stepped through the door to the common room when I stopped short. A familiar group were making their way out, and my chest seized instinctively at the sight of them.  
  
Rabastan went first, his face hollow and dark, with nothing left of his previous good humour. Severus followed, with his lank, black hair falling in a dark curtain over his features. Neither of them acknowledged me as they passed, and I felt a small stab of pain filtering into my stomach.  
  
Avery and Wilkes followed behind them, and then at last, Regulus.  
  
For me it was always going to be hard to let go of Regulus.  
  
He had so much  _good_  inside of him – so much brilliant potential that was wasting away as it became more and more supressed.  
  
He deserved so much more then what life had given him.  
  
I forced myself to ignore the lot of them, realising that no matter how much I might want it, we would never be the same again. A hand caught me just before I was about to move on and I turned just in time to catch Regulus’ hushed voice in my ear.  
  
“Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after dark,” He whispered, before he disappeared through the stone archway and out of sight.  
  
I faltered for a minute, wondering what he could possibly want to talk to me about.  
  
Darkness was almost upon us.  
  
I wouldn’t have to wait for long to find out.  
  
**  
  
My fingers tapped sharply against the stone turrets of the Astronomy Tower as the cold, night air whipped through my long hair, making it dance around my shoulders in waves of dull black. I glanced once again at the stone steps that ran down from the Tower, growing impatient.  
  
Waiting.  
  
I didn’t know how long I had been there, but it was a good while, that much I was sure of.  I watched my breath escape in clouds of pearly white as I pulled my jumper tighter around myself and shivered. Thankfully, the sharp chill in the air had eased off somewhat as we approached springtime, but it was not fully gone.  
  
I leaned my elbows on the stone wall as I surveyed the castle below me. Hogwarts was covered in a blanket of darkness, with only a few scattered pinpricks of light shining here and there through the gothic windows.  
  
It was strange to think that in three short months I would no longer call Hogwarts my home. The thought unnerved me. Where would I go? What on earth was I supposed to do with my life? That, I still couldn’t figure out.  
  
I squinted back over my shoulder again at the stone steps, wondering where Regulus was and why he was keeping me waiting. It had been him, after all, who had asked me to meet him here tonight.  
  
I wondered what he wanted to talk to me about. No doubt it was to lecture me again on my romantic interests. I knew that Regulus was only trying to look out for me, even after everything that had happened, but the thought of that unnerved me. He was almost two years younger than me, how had he become so mature? If anything, it should be me scolding him for his choice in girls.  
  
Because Merlin knows that no-one would ever be good enough for him, by my standards.  
  
A quick footstep caught my attention, and I turned to find Regulus, at last, crossing the tower towards me – his face a mask of sombreness.  
  
He didn’t say anything as he pulled me into his arms, and I let my head rest against his chest as he held me tightly against him. I breathed in the familiar scent of him, and found myself relaxing.  
  
“You have no idea how relieved I am, Alex,” he breathed into my hair, and I pulled back a little to study him curiously.  
  
Regulus squeezed me on the shoulders affectionately before releasing his grip on me. He was smiling softly, though he looked tired – worn out, perhaps. The faint shadow of dark stubble covered his chin, and I realised just how grown up he looked in that instant.  
  
“What do you mean?” I asked in response to his statement, and he took in a deep breath, hesitating a little before raising his grey eyes to mine.  
  
“It’s just… I’m happy that you finally realised Evan’s true nature. What he really is,”  
  
My forehead furrowed, “That is  _not_  Evans nature, Reg, that was… something else. He wasn’t always like that,”  
  
Regulus brushed a strand of stray, black hair from his eyes and looked at me sadly.  
  
“You’ve never seen the things he’s capable of, Alex. All you ever saw was what he wanted you to believe.”  
  
I pulled back and surveyed him through narrow eyes.  
  
“Why are you saying this?”  
  
Regulus sighed in defeat. “You’re right – it serves no purpose talking of this now. Just believe me when I tell you I’m happy you’ve found someone who will truly put your best interests first,”  
  
I stopped.  
  
“Sirius,” I said lowly, and Regulus nodded in confirmation.  
  
I bit my lip in confusion, and squinted at Regulus through the thick blanket of darkness.  
  
“I thought you wouldn’t approve, I mean, given everything that’s happened between the two of you,”  
  
“We haven’t been on the best terms, that’s true,” Regulus acknowledged with a dismissive wave of his hand, “But I _know_  him, Alex. I know who he is, and what he would do just to keep you safe,”  
  
“You shouldn’t worry about me, Reg,” I answered, though Regulus merely shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“I always will,”   
  
I couldn’t help but smile at him affectionately, until the reality of the situation hit me, and I sighed heavily, “I hate that we always have to meet in secret – that we have to hide our friendship. It feels so wrong,”  
  
“I know,” Regulus agreed, “I wish there was another way, believe me,”  
  
I hesitated. I didn’t know exactly what it was that made me say what I did next, but whatever it was, I knew that it was the truth.  
  
“That’s the thing, isn’t it? There is no other way. Our paths are tearing us apart, every day we get pulled further and further away,”  
  
Regulus stared at me desperately, his face pained.  
  
“Don’t say that, Alex,”  
  
“It’s true, Reg,”  
  
Regulus dropped his head, but didn’t say a word, and in that moment I knew.  
  
I knew that he felt what I was saying too, and the very thought of that was enough to rip an entirely new painful hole in my chest.  
  
Because we could no longer be friends anymore.  
  
“I met a boy today who’s entire life was almost ripped away from him in an instant by Voldemort and his Death Eaters,” I started shakily, though Regulus refused to meet my eyes, “How many more are there who weren’t as lucky? How many more will there be?”  
  
“Alex, don’t,” Regulus pleaded quietly, and as he raised his eyes to mine I could see the pain dwelling in their stormy depths.  
  
“I’m afraid of the future,” He confessed, turning towards me and pulling at his dark hair desperately, “I’m afraid that one day we’ll be standing against each other on opposite sides and one of us will have to make a decision,”  
  
I bit my tongue to stop the pain from searing through me because I knew what he was talking about.  
  
And I feared it too.  
  
“Please don’t be a part of it, Reg,” I begged, feeling the heat of warm tears begin to pool in the corner of my eyes, and then slide down my face and over my lips, “You know that I couldn’t be a part of your life anymore – I just can’t tolerate anyone who accepts this. Not anymore,”  
  
Regulus took a quick step forwards and brushed the tears away from my skin before taking my face in his hands and looking down at me.  
  
“You have your path, and this is mine,” He said, his voice shaking with emotion, “You’ve changed, Alex, more than any of us, and I’m so proud of you. You care – that’s what you do, and that’s who you are,”  
  
He kissed me on the cheek quickly before whispering, “Goodbye, Alex,” and turned without a second glance back and descended the stairs.  
  
In an instant, something inside me went cold, and I couldn’t move, or breathe, or make any sound at all. All I could do was listen to the throbbing in my head and the sad voice ringing in my ears saying, “ _Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,_ ”  
  
It was over.  
  
I don’t know how long it took me to realise that I wasn’t alone on the Tower. I had seen him when Regulus left, of course, but for some reason I just couldn’t comprehend that anything that was happening was real.  
  
Because how could this be real life? How could anyone ever endure this much pain and continue to keep on living?  
  
“Alex,” James Potter stepped forward, his hand outstretched as he gauged what kind of reaction I would have to him being there.  
  
I looked up, but it was more like I was staring straight through him.  
  
James Potter was standing in front of me – he was real. He was wearing his Quidditch team jacket and a pair of black trousers with white sneakers. His hair was a ridiculous, tousled mess, as per usual. But still, I didn’t really  _see_ him.  
  
It must have only been a few seconds since Regulus left, but to me, it felt like a lifetime.  
  
“How long were you there?” I asked him numbly, finally, my teeth gritted hard and my mouth aching.  
  
I had never seen James Potter look so uncertain in his life, “Only a second or so before he left, but, uh… are you okay? Do you want to sit down or something?”  
  
I shook my head, but was otherwise as still as a statue.  
  
James looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t quite know how to.  
  
Finally he exhaled deeply and said, “Look, I heard what he said – Black – at the end. I am sorry, you know,”  
  
James words washed over me and almost immediately I found my mind snapping back to reality. All of the pain was still there, but the sadness began to transform, and without any kind of warning, a swelling wave of pure rage washed over me, drowning me in its depths.  
  
I felt it course like liquid fire through my veins as my hands clenched themselves in tight fists at my side.  
  
“Why are you here?!” I barked at him venomously, and he put his hands up in front of him in innocence.  
  
“Just making sure you’re okay,”  
  
I let out a bitter laugh and began to advance on him.  
  
“Don’t lie to me, Potter, you couldn’t care less about me. It was Sirius, wasn’t it? He sent you to spy on my, didn’t he?”  
  
To say that James looked worried would be the understatement of the century.  
  
“Well, not exactly,”  
  
“Then what?” I hissed, growing more and more impatient with the fact that he was dodging my questions.  
  
“Look, Alex, he knew you were with Regulus. I wasn’t supposed to let you see me, but… then I heard the two of you talking and I… just wanted to make sure that you were okay,”  
  
“Do I  _fucking_  look okay to you?” I snapped, before pushing past James and down the stone steps while proclaiming, “I swear I’m going to kill him,”  
  
I was furious and I could feel my blood boiling to the point where I half expected steam to be erupting from my ears. My heart was pumping so furiously, and every single emotion was now focused on the fact that Sirius couldn’t even give me a moment alone with his own  _damn_  brother without getting overprotective.   
  
The fact that it was the last moment I would  _ever_  have just increased the anger tenfold.  
  
I marched in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room, knowing that it wasn’t far, and stopping only when James hurled himself in front of me – a pained look crossing his face as he straightened his glasses on the bridge of his long nose.  
  
“Get out of my way, Potter,” I growled through gritted teeth and clenched my fists tighter.  
  
James, however, ignored my request.  
  
“Look, Alex, he’s my best friend, and you’re on your way to do something to him which I’m sure is entirely unpleasant,” He spoke, quicker then I’d ever heard any normal person speak, before taking another breath, “It’s my duty as a good friend to hex you… which I would do, if he wasn’t in love with you. So, uh… now I’m just confused.”  
  
I pushed him aside roughly before continuing on to Gryffindor Tower. James complained loudly as he attempted to keep up with me, but didn’t try to stop me again, at least.  
  
I rounded a corner and spotter the entrance, marching towards it with a renewed energy as I attempted to block out the siren that was James Potters voice trailing behind.  
  
“Why couldn’t he have shacked up with a nice Gryffindor girl? I would have even accepted a Hufflepuff!” He was saying by the time we stood in front of the Fat Lady, who looked as if she had had a few too many glasses of wine and entirely too much fun that night.  
  
I didn’t have time for this nonsense.  
  
“Open the door,” I instructed her, to which she responded with a drunken slur and a wave of her glass.  
  
“Excuse *hic* me? What’s the *hic* password?”  
  
I rolled my eyes dramatically and rounded on James.  
  
“Potter, tell her the password,”  
  
James lips quirked upwards and he folded his arms across his chest, looking awfully pleased with himself.  
  
“No,”  
  
I took in a deep breath, my ears burning bright red, before I exploded.  
  
“Tell her the damn password!”  
  
“I’m not letting you in there, Cortez!”  
  
“Would you two *hic* stop making so much *hic* noise!”  
  
“I’m warning you, Potter!”  
  
“For *hic* Godric’s sake!”  
  
“What are you gonna do, huh?!”  
  
 “If you don’t tell her the goddamn password you’ll find out!”  
  
By this time all three of us were yelling at each other so loudly that we didn’t notice the portrait swing open from the inside and dozens of curious eyes land on the pair of us.  
  
“What the  _hell_  is going on out here?” Sirius stepped out through the portrait hole and eyed the pair of us in utter confusion.  
  
“You!” I snapped, before I was grabbed around the waist and hoisted over James shoulder like a sack of bloody potatoes. He started marching down the corridor saying, “Don’t worry, Padfoot, I won’t let her hurt you!”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Sirius questioned as he trailed along behind us, a glass of Firewhiskey held in one hand.  
  
I kicked at James to put me down, but he wouldn’t budge, so I settled for screaming at Sirius from where I was instead, while being violently jerked around in the process.  
  
“You sent your, umph, man-servant to spy on me?!” I screeched angrily, and Siriuis raised his eyebrows before saying dryly.  
  
“Nice to see you too, love,”  
  
His tone only served to infuriate me even more and I let out a frustrated scream.  
  
“I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you’d just completely invade my privacy like that!”  
  
James groaned painfully underneath me, and asked in a muffled voice.  
  
“Can I put her down now?”  
  
“Yeah mate,” Sirius answered with an amused grin.  
  
I scrambled to get down from his shoulder and gave him a good push for hoisting me up there in the first place. He skulked away to his common room, leaving Sirius and I alone.  
  
“So that’s how it is, huh? You’re following me now?” I asked venomously while straightening my sweater, and Sirius pointed an accusing finger at me, his tone deadly serious.  
  
“You shouldn’t be alone with him – he could be dangerous,”  
  
I scoffed loudly, throwing my arms up in disbelief.  
  
“He’s your  _brother_!”  
  
“He’s a Death Eater!” Sirius barked, throwing his glass against the wall of the corridor in blind rage, where it smashed into a thousand tiny pieces, “Forgive me for worrying about my girlfriends’ safety, after she’s proved so many times in the past that she has an incredible knack for getting herself into trouble!”  
  
I winced at his outburst, but stood my ground firmly.  
  
“I’m not your girlfriend, Sirius! And I’m certainly not your property,”  
  
Sirius looked taken aback, briefly, but he composed himself. I was still seething, and much too angry in that moment to care about what I was saying to him.  
  
“Fine, if that’s what you want – I’m sorry for giving a damn,” He spat, his voice laced with bitterness, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance, feeling warm tears prickling at my eyes.  
  
“For the love of Merlin… Stop trying to protect me from everything!”  
  
“No!” Sirius growled at me, and I narrowed my eyes at him darkly and took a small pace backwards.  
  
“I’ll never stop trying to protect you, Alex,” He said, his voice like gravel, “Whether you like it or not, I’m in love with you – I won’t stop,”  
  
I tried to stop them but the tears started to fall heavy down my face and I turned away from Sirius before I could start sobbing and started walking. I couldn’t do this – I was in so much pain. And I knew, somehow, that I shouldn’t be taking it out on him when all he had done was care about me.  
  
I heard a quick step behind me and then his hands on my arms, drawing me back, and I finally broke.  
  
“I’m losing him… and I can’t stand it. I can’t think about him doing any of those terrible things,” My voice shook through my tears, “And Sev… he hates me for loving you, and I know why, but… I can’t change it. And I… I told Evan that I hated him. That’s the last thing he’ll ever remember of me,”  
  
I turned around and buried my head in Sirius’ chest, letting him wrap his arms around me as I confessed everything through heartbroken tears.  
  
“I know I shouldn’t care, but it hurts  _so_  much – I feel like they were all supposed to be something else, and now that they’re not… it’s my fault, I know it’s my fault,”  
  
“Hey, hey, stop that – none of this is your fault,” Sirius shushed me, pulling back so he could see my face, and wiped the tears away gently, “You have to stop blaming yourself,”  
  
I swallowed thickly, thinking it would be impossible to ever do that.  
  
“How did you even know where I was tonight, anyway?” I asked Sirius as he loosened his grip on me and I pulled back.  
  
His lips pulled up at the corners slightly and he nodded towards the common room.  
  
“Come on, I’ll show you,”


	36. Kind of Wonderful

I let out a small yelp in surprise as Sirius took my hand and pulled me briskly towards the portrait of the insufferable wench that was the Fat Lady. I was still in a foul mood – but biting my bottom lip and drowning the urge to run, I let myself just go with it.   
  
What was the worst that could happen? I thought to myself as I felt the warmth of his hand in mine and gripped it tighter. I mean, I was only heading into the mysterious depths of my rival House, where I could be succumbed to any number of horrible and torturous activities.   
  
 _Great._  
  
I was wondering if any of my friends would think to look for me here, should I go missing, when Sirius uttered the password to the Fat Lady, which was ‘ _Gillyweed_ ’ ( _was that so hard, James Potter!_ ) and we crept through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
The first thing that hit me was the warmth.  
  
After roaming around the icy corridors for the better part of the evening, a welcoming heat enveloped and wrapped its way around my body and I let the wash of comfort run over me. The smell of firewood and hot cocoa drifted over to me and I eyed the place warily as we entered, noting the Gryffindors who were still celebrating their Quidditch win from that day, some of them shooting me suspicious glances as I trailed behind Sirius, our hands clasped together.   
  
A sickening pang hit my stomach as I realised that this was probably not the first time that Sirius Black had traipsed into this room hand in hand with a girl from another House – though surely never a Slytherin, which would account for the amount of gaping mouths spotted around the place.  
  
I barely had time to stop and gauge just how unique the Gryffindors common room was compared to both Slytherin and Ravenclaw, with its crimson walls and giant, roaring fireplace, before I was lead to a cluster of plush, scarlet chairs pushed in front of the warm fire.  
  
Sirius stopped briefly to yell ‘ _Map!_ ’ at James, who was cosily squashed up in one of the armchairs with Lily Evans, his arm stretched out across the back of the chair behind the red-head, who had a large, open book laying in her lap which she was studying the aged pages of.  
  
Wait, what?  
  
I shot a questioning glance at the pair of them before I silently thanked Merlin there was no sign of my sister, Serenity, as I suspected she would happily hex me if she saw me in here with Sirius Black of all people.  
  
That is assuming that she still has that ridiculous crush on him.  
  
Which I suppose isn’t nearly as ridiculous to me now considering that I’m kind of dating him…  
  
 _Whatever._  
  
James threw the pair of us a quizzical look and a piece of folded parchment before I was dragged up to what I assumed was their dormitory, where Sirius shut the door behind us with a soft thud. I took the chance to peer around the room briefly.  
  
Dimly lit by a few warm, glowing lanterns, I could see that it was much the same as the Slytherin Boys’ dormitory, though with four large beds set out in a circle instead of a line, and covered with scarlet, velvet drapes instead of emerald green silk. The floor – in contrast to the grey stone of Slytherins – was a warm, rich mahogany, and a large bay window set in the wall between two of the beds captured a picturesque night sky.  
  
I slinked towards the window without thinking, taking in the sights of the inky black sky littered with hundreds of blinking stars with wide eyes. The sight was breathtaking, I thought with a small stab of envy. All we Slytherins had to look at was a murky, old lake – sometimes we even caught a glimpse of a cheeky Grindylow or two.  
  
Sirius waited patiently as I took in my fill of the sights, and I soon turned back to him, watching as he leaned back on the door with his arms crossed against his broad chest and an amused grin playing on his lips.  
  
I rolled my eyes at his smug expression and waved a hand.  
  
“So, what’s this big secret then?” I asked dryly. Sirius held up the piece of parchment he had retrieved from James, and his mouth turned upwards in a mischievous smirk.  
  
“This,” He said simply, and I pursed my lips tight, raising my dark eyebrows and indicating for more information.  
  
Sirius pushed himself off of the door and sauntered the length of the room towards me, “If I show you this, you must  _swear_  that you won’t tell a soul,”  
  
I scoffed darkly at his dramatics and placed my hands on my hips, growing impatient.  
  
“Just how mysterious can an old piece of parchment be?”  
  
Sirius grinned at me before taking his wand from the back pocket of his jeans, pointing it at the parchment and stating, “ _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_ ,”  
  
With a look of supressed joy, he handed the parchment over to me, and I took it apprehensively.  
  
Holding the unfolded parchment in my hands, I expected to see just that – a plain old piece of paper. But words had started to appear out of nowhere, and a small gasp escaped my lips.  
  
 _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present…_  
  
I looked up briefly at Sirius, utterly perplexed, though he simply winked at me delightedly before I looked back down at the appearing words.  
  
 _THE MARAUDERS MAP._  
  
Confused, I unfolded the map further to find images of corridors and rooms twisting over the old, aged parchment in black ink. Stairways, and towers and hidden alcoves littered every space of the previously blank, creamy canvas, and I felt my stomach twist inside of me.  
  
 _Is this actually what I think it is?_  
  
Immediately my eyes were drawn to the largest room labelled simply as  _‘The Great Hall’_ – carefully sculpted with four large tables running the length of the painted room.  
  
 _Hold on, this can’t be what I think this is._  
  
And then I noticed the most peculiar thing – tiny, inky footsteps, outside the Great Halls doors and in the room labelled ‘ _Entrance Hall’_  – pacing backwards and forwards with small letters printed in a cursive font besides them.  
  
 _‘Argus Filch’_  
  
 _What… the hell… is this?_  
  
“This… this is a map,” I managed to stutter dumbly, and Sirius chuckled at my stupor before moving to stand behind me and peek over my shoulder, the warmth of his chest pressing against my back. Tiny electric shivers ran up the back of my neck.  
  
“Not just any map – the Marauders Map,”  
  
His warm breath tickled the side of my face and I looked sideways at him, dumbstruck, and noted how his silver eyes glinted with amusement.  
  
“But, it’s a map of Hogwarts,” I added, accusingly, “Hogwarts is unplottable –  _how_  is it doing this?”  
  
Sirius shrugged casually, stepping around to stand before me. “A rather elaborate and complex set of Charms – let me tell you, making this damn thing was no picnic. But, I suppose it was worth it in the end.”  
  
“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs,” I repeated the introduction to myself in a disbelieving murmur, “You lot  _made_ this?”  
  
Sirius answered only with a crooked grin – his sculpted cheekbones looked exceptionally striking in the dim light of the lanterns and I had to tear my eyes from him – this map was quite possibly one of the most intriguing magical items that I’d ever seen, and I simply couldn’t understand how four buffoons like the Marauders had managed to create such a thing.  
  
A slither of jealousy panged inside me as I wished I had even a glimmer of the talent used to make something so remarkable.  
  
After indulging my curiosity a few minutes longer, Sirius cleared his throat and stepped closer to me, and I caught a trace of his familiar cologne mixed with the smokiness of a crackling fire which made me long to melt right into him.  
  
“Want to see something cool?”  
  
I nodded dumbly as he took the map and scanned it quickly before setting his finger on a point, which my eyes followed to a room labelled “ _Gryffindor Seventh Year Boys’_ Dormitory, and there right in the middle, were two dots with the names ‘ _Sirius Black’_  and ‘ _Alexandra Cortez’_  beside them.  
  
I smiled at the sight.  
  
“This is  _amazing_ ,” I breathed, and watched as Sirius took his wand again, whispered ‘ _Mischief Managed,_ ’ and the black ink disappeared into nothing as the map once again became a standard piece of parchment.  
  
 “Thanks,” Sirius answered as he let me take the map and inspect it in its new form, “It’s too bad it won’t be around much longer,”  
  
I stopped.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well, we have a plan…”  
  
“This can’t be good,”  
  
Sirius chuckled lowly. He tapped me under the chin affectionately, and I supressed a smile.  
  
“The Maps pretty useless to us once we’ve finished here at Hogwarts, so we thought, why not let Filch get his grubby, Squib hands on it?”  
  
My lips pursed in obvious confusion and I asked, “And that would be a good thing  _how_?”  
  
Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and paced in front of the old, four posters – his sneakers thumping on the wood beneath his feet.  
  
“Filch knows there’s something about that parchment – he’s seen us with it a million times, and now he’s as desperate as ever to confiscate it from us. But once he does, there’s no way he could possibly figure out what it is.”  
  
He sent me a roguish grin, and I shrugged in question, asking for more information, which Sirius obliged.   
  
“First of all because he doesn’t know the incantation, and secondly because he’s a crazy old Squib who can’t produce a lick of magic to save his life,”  
  
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I tried to understand this theory. I folded the map into a small square and passed it back to Sirius, speaking flatly.  
  
“I fail to see how letting him find it would be of any use then?”  
  
Sirius moved to the side of one of the four-posters, opening the top drawer of the bedside table and dropping the map inside, along with his wand. He straightened and removed his crimson Quidditch jumper, revealing a black t-shirt underneath. His lips quirked upwards at the sight of me gawking at him stupidly – his eyes glinting with the subtle arrogance that only he could pull off while still looking as irresistible as ever.  
  
My breath hitched in my throat.  
  
“There’s bound to be more no-good pranksters under these roofs in the future – and if they ever find the map and figure out what it is, then I’d say they deserve to have it,”  
  
I was barely listening to what he was saying at this point, his voice a low, amused rumble as I dragged my eyes over his chest and stomach, admiring how his tight-fitting shirt emphasised every toned muscle. I supressed the savage urge to tear the fabric off him and run my hands over his skin beneath.  
  
“Hmm… so, hang on,” I started, my voice growing thick as I pulled myself out of that haze and forced myself to meet his eyes.  “This is how you knew where I was tonight?”  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Sirius replied, sheepishly running his fingers through his dark hair before sitting on the edge of what I assumed was his bed.  
  
Squaring my shoulders towards him, I folded my arms across my chest.  
  
“Because you were just casually looking over it while you were in the middle of celebrating with your team?” I asked pointedly, suddenly irritated, and took in a deep breath, “Or because you’ve been keeping tabs on me?”  
  
Sirius let out a long breath – his hair falling over his face in soft waves of raven-black. He turned his eyes on me and I almost faltered as I fell right into them.  
  
Why did he have to look so god damn good when I was trying to be mad at him!  
  
“I know how it looks,” He started, oblivious to my inner struggle as he held his hands up in innocence, “But I really was worried about you, Alex. After the game you seemed… I don’t know. Upset?”  
  
I sighed softly and sat next to him on the bed, looking at the floor as I bit on my lip and willed the heat rising inside of me to cease.  
  
“I’ve had… a rather overwhelming day,” I confessed, and Sirius placed a hand under my chin and gently tilted my face towards him, his expression sombre as his voice quieted.  
  
“Alex, you can’t push me away every time you’re upset about something that you think I won’t understand. I see your pain – it hurts me more then you know,”  
  
A glimmer of affection flittered through me and I let my head fall against his shoulder, smiling softly.  
  
“Why are you so amazing,” I breathed, to which he answered with a low chuckle.  
  
“Trust me, love, I’ve been asking myself the same thing.”  
  
I fell into the moment, relaxing as Sirius’ fingertips ran up and down my back gently. A thick wash of exhaustion came over me and my eyes felt heavy and swollen from crying earlier. I glanced around the room curiously. Two of the other beds were made neatly, with minimal personal objects on the small tables. The third was in a state of completely disarray, with its covers hanging over the side messily and various books and items scattered about.  
  
There was no doubt in my mind that it belonged to James Potter.  
  
 “So tell me,” I started, curiously, “What’s with those nicknames you guys all have? Why Padfoot?”  
  
Sirius smoothed my dark hair and kissed me on the head dismissively, and then I felt his deep voice rumble through me.  
  
“Well, I couldn’t divulge all of my secrets in one night, could I?”  
  
I turned out of his grasp, and raised my eyebrows at him.  
  
“Exactly how many secrets do you have?”  
  
He grinned and began to count on his fingers dramatically.  
  
“Well there’s this, and also the one with the… oh and that one time the lads and I… heh… and the goat… we  _mustn’t_  forget the goat,”  
  
I narrowed my eyes darkly and pressed my lips into a tight line – clearly unimpressed, but he merely laughed and pushed a strand of hair off of my face and behind my ear, before putting his hand on my shoulder.  
  
“I’ll tell you one day – I promise. Until then, just think of it as a stupid guy thing.”  
  
I pulled away and rolled my eyes, not happy with the answer at all, but Sirius simply tilted my chin to face him, and then suddenly, most perfectly, his lips were on mine and I was melting into the touch and the taste of him.  
  
But there was one small thought that still lingered.  
  
I pulled back from Sirius abruptly, and he groaned unhappily, dropping his forehead to rest on my shoulder.  
  
“Okay, I just _have_  to ask. What the hell is going on with Potter and Evans?”  
  
Sirius’ raised his dark eyebrows in disbelief.  
  
“That’s what you think about when we’re snogging? Good to know,”  
  
I hit him in the arm gently and he chuckled before explaining.  
  
“They’ve been dating for about a month now – I guess Lily finally began to see something in James. Well, that and he’s not nearly so much of an obnoxious prat towards her as he used to be,”  
  
I looked at him, feeling both dumbstruck and a little disgusted at the news.  
  
“How did I not know about this?”  
  
“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d care.”  
  
“Fair point,”  
  
Sirius surveyed me through stormy eyes. “Look, about James. I’m not going to force you to be mates with him, but who knows – maybe if Lily can learn to like him, then you can too,”  
  
“I highly doubt that,” I replied sourly, and Sirius rolled his eyes lightly before lying back on his bed and pulling me down next to him.  
  
He put an arm around me and I curled against him, letting out a comfortable sigh and relishing in the warmth of his body, the smell of rosewood and citrus in his cologne, and my own exhaustion pressing down on me.  
  
“Alex,” He said softly after a while, “I feel like I have to tell you how sorry I am… for everything I’ve put you through in the past,”  
  
I looked up at him to find his forehead creased in quiet anguish.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything, Sirius. You know I’ve done plenty of things that I wish I could take back,” I answered quietly, my voice heavy as I pushed back his sleeve gently to trace my fingers over the scar I had left on his forearm.  
  
Back then.  
  
Back when I was stupid, and naïve and thought I knew better than anyone else. The very memory of that short battle on the Hogwarts Express sent a tidal wave of shame and guilt washing over me.  
  
Sirius let out a low breath and laced his fingers through mine – his tanned skin rough and calloused from his time on the Quidditch Pitch with a bat in his grasp.  
  
“I feel as if I could apologise a million times and still it would never be enough.”  
  
I bit my lip gently and sighed.  
  
“We were both wrong – it doesn’t matter now,”  
  
We can forget the horrible things we had done in the past, and instead focus on the fast-approaching and unpredictable future, was what I didn’t say out loud. But that was what I wanted so badly. To forget – forget the past and start anew.  
  
Because the truth was that when I was with Sirius I didn’t feel so lost – so alone. That empty part inside of me filled with fire and warmth and I never wanted to let go of it.  
  
“You know, from the very first moment I saw you on the Express, I was hooked,” Sirius said with an amused grin, “Imagine me, eleven years old – love at first sight,”  
  
My heart lurched as his smile faded, and I watched as he relived some distant memory with a stony gaze – his face pale and drained.  
  
“I tried to get you out of my head – all those other girls, none of them were like you – I was haunted all those years by something that was never mine in the first place. And then Serenity… a constant reminder of what could have been. I could hardly stand to look at her,”  
  
I struggled to breathe after listening to Sirius’ words, let alone speak. Sirius dragged his stormy eyes to meet mine.  
  
“And then I saw you with my cousin, Bellatrix, after the Sorting Ceremony, and I couldn’t stop the bitterness. And when you became friends with Malfoy, Rosier and Lestrange – all the people that I hated – that bitterness grew into something much darker. It sounds silly to say, but I felt like something had been taken away from me. I expected you would turn out exactly as they had, and for a while I thought you did,”  
  
The colour returned to his face, and he peered down at me warmly.  
  
“Until you proved me wrong,”  
  
I propped myself up on one elbow to look at Sirius. His grey eyes were soft in the dim light of the room, and the corner of his lips quirked upwards slightly. I felt as though I could never tire of just simply looking at him – the perfection that I thought he was.   
  
“I liked you too, you know,” I admitted, sheepishly dropping my eyes to gaze over the fabric of the comforter. “I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t talk to me, and I blamed it on my House and let myself think that I was divided from everything and everyone who wasn’t a part of it,”  
  
Sirius nodded his understanding softly.  
  
“But the truth is that I loved my old friends, and I’m proud to be in Slytherin, even now. I’m beginning to understand that I embody the  _good_ qualities of my House, and it feels… freeing, somehow,”  
  
I thought of those qualities and the very few in my House who possessed them. I thought of Regulus who was kind and clever and good-hearted, and knew that the absence of him – my brilliant friend – was one that I would never quite know how to fully endure. But here I was with Sirius, who was all that Regulus was and more. Who was brave and selfless and relentlessly fought for everything that was good in the world. Here was the man who could quite possibly  _be_  my future – not the one who would determine it but who would step aside and let me decide it for myself.  
  
“You’re so much more than I expected,” Sirius breathed, running his fingertips down the side of my face gently before they came to rest under my chin. “You’ve shown me how poisonous prejudice can be, and that there’s always,  _always_  a better path. The friends that you have now, you’ve brought together from all different backgrounds.  _You_  did that, Alex – and I’m convinced that their friendship will follow you anywhere,”  
  
“You make me sound like some sort of miracle worker,”  
  
Sirius grinned and snaked his hand to the back of my head before pulling me closer, and whispering against my lips.  
  
“To me, you’re everything,”  
  
I sighed into his kiss and he pulled me against him, holding me tightly as his lips parted mine. Before I knew it I had forgotten all about the Map, and the nicknames, and _everything_. My world constricted only to the feeling of his tongue in my mouth and his hands working their way under my jumper where they singed my skin with his fiery touch.  
  
I didn’t want to be miserable anymore – I wanted to be happy, and loved and free. I wanted to know that I was making the right decisions for myself and that above all, whatever was thrown my way, I wouldn’t have to face it alone.  
  
Sirius pushed himself up into a sitting position and pulled me into his lap where I straddled him and he took my face in his hands, kissing me hungrily, his tongue scraping my teeth as he claimed my mouth with his own. A surge of pure heat coursed through me. I wanted  _him_. Now and forever.  
  
“I want you to know,” I pulled back just enough to whisper shakily, “That every second I spend with you heals that pain that’s inside of me. I love you – I’m yours,”  
  
His only answer was a low growl as he tore his lips from my mouth to my neck, sending a rush of fire flowing through my body and I felt him gasp against my skin as my fingernails jolted into his back and he ground his hips against me.  
  
I flicked my long hair to the side, giving him better access to the soft skin of my neck, biting my lip and failing to stifle the low moan that escaped me.  His mouth found mine again and soon he was tugging at the hem of my sweater, and following his direction I pulled it up and over my head and then the shirt underneath followed it, letting my dark hair spill over my bare shoulders.  
  
His stormy eyes met mine, both of us breathing ragged and uneven. Every inch of me craved his touch, his love, and when he traced a finger over my bottom lip and whispered, “I love you,” the control that I had barely managed to keep a leash on so far, snapped.  
  
I all but tore his t-shirt off and finally,  _finally_  succumbed to the desire to run my fingers over the bare heat of his chest and then down to his toned stomach. I was willing to give myself entirely to him. I wanted to let him consume and fill every single inch of me until there was nothing left – no sadness, no fear, no regret – nothing but the love I felt for him.  
  
I kissed him deeper and he growled softly into my mouth. My hands dragged themselves through his silken hair, pulling gently, while his own grappled with the button of my jeans, then in one swift movement he lay me flat on the bed so he could tear them off me, before I wrapped my legs around his waist – drawing him closer – running my hands over the warmth of his back and muscled shoulders.  
  
As the night went on I could feel the empty hole inside my chest growing smaller and smaller with every touch, every kiss and every caress. And afterwards, when I lay in his arms and finally let myself fall into a deep, peaceful sleep – I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.  
  
   
  
**  
  
I woke with my head rested on Sirius’ shoulder and his arm curled around me. The gentle rise and fall of his chest told me that he was still very much asleep. Lazily, I pushed myself up, immediately missing his warmth, and peeked out the drawn curtains where I threw a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table.  
  
It was still early, but I knew that very shortly the inhabitants of the castle would be waking up, and I most definitely did not want to be caught sneaking out of the Gryffindors boys dormitory looking as rumpled and heavy-eyed as I did.  
  
I pulled back the scarlet curtains slowly and peered around the room, taking a few moments to ensure that none of the other boys were up before hastily dressing and tip-toeing towards the door, stifling the desire to laugh aloud at the horrendous snoring that was coming from James’ wide, open mouth.  
  
I crept out of the Gryffindors common room – stopping for a second to consider whether I should sabotage the Fat Lady while she dozed against her frame, but then thought better of it – and snaked through the silent and still corridors of the school, peeking around every corner to make sure no-one was patrolling. Finally, I made it through the freezing dungeons and into the Slytherin common room, which was still heated by the warmth of the dying fire.  
  
I let out a sigh of relief and I clambered up the stairs to my dormitory, and pushed the door open slowly, not wanting to wake anyone.   
  
That, however, proved completely unnecessary as three curious heads whipped in my direction when I entered.  
  
“Where the  _hell_ have you been?”  
  
Oh, shit.  
  
I shut the door behind me with a click and raised my arms in front of me, shielding myself from the venomous gaze of Isobel, who tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for my answer.  
  
“It’s not what it looks like…”  
  
“You were with Sirius, weren’t you?” Kendra smirked before I could explain further. She and Violet were still lounging around on their beds, Kendra dressed in a pair of cozy, plaid pyjamas and Violet in a navy tank top and matching track pants, curled up to her snow-white cat, Molly.  
  
“Uh, well…”  
  
“Well go on,” Kendra tested with a lazy grin and flipped onto her back. “What was he like?”  
  
My eyes widened in alarm.  
  
“Wha-? Kendra, no! Nothing happened!” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them, and my cheeks flushed with colour. Of course  _something_  had happened – and I’m sure my face gave it away entirely.  
  
“Pfft! You expect me to believe that?” Kendra teased as she rolled off her bed and crossed her arms against her chest in a silent demand.  
  
Isobel let out a defeated huff and waved a dismissive hand at the two of us, “Well, whatever it was, you’re back now at least. I can finally stop envisioning you being dragged into the Forbidden Forest by Merlin only knows what kind of terrors,”  
  
I felt a pang of guilt for worrying her, and I placed a calming hand on her shoulder and gave her a pointed look – she let out a sigh and her shoulders slumped. “I was worried, Alex, after all that you’ve been through,” She admitted, her lips thrust into an unhappy pout, “You’re the best friend that I have in this place, truly,”  
  
My heart burst with affection for her and I pulled her into a hug while laughing softly under my breath. “I’m sorry I worried you, Iz. Next time I’ll send you a… owl or something,”  
  
“Next time?” I could hear the laughter creeping into Isobel’s voice, and I pulled back to give her a withering glare.  
  
“Don’t you start,”  
  
She faked offence and said, “Me? I would never… but maybe Sirius will shed some light on your sleepover last night,”  
  
I faced three entirely smug grins with a graceless scowl and I flipped the three of them off before I stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, where I failed to contain the smile that had been threatening to spread across my face.  
  
A short while later the four of us, freshly showered and dressed, headed to the Great Hall for breakfast – and I was ravenous.  
  
I rubbed my stomach longingly as we ambled casually through the Entrance Hall, the three of them still probing me for any information they could get, when we bumped into Professor Slughorn who was bustling our way, whistling cheerily. We halted our chatter at once lest he overhear any unsavoury details.  
  
“Good morning girls,” he greeted us, completely unaware of our previous conversation, his large hands resting in the pockets of his yellow waistcoat. “Lovely warm weather today, isn’t it? I do rather enjoy the spring-time,”  
  
We all murmured our agreement, eager to get past him and into the Hall towards breakfast, before Slughorn shifted his gaze to me. I groaned inwardly.  
  
“Alexandra, might I have a quick word with you?”  
  
I almost cried at being deprived of my breakfast, but I indicated with a nod of my head for the girls to go on without me, and followed behind Slughorn out the large, entrance doors and into the sunshine. He was right about the weather – the morning chill was quickly making way for what promised to be a balmy, spring day.  
  
Slughorn closed his eyes and lifted his round face to the sun, enjoying the warmth. The scent of jasmine hung in the air, and I shifted a little uncomfortably, wondering only what it was that Professor Slughorn wanted of me. And on a Sunday!  
  
 His voice was soft when he spoke next.  
  
“I don’t mean to push you, by any means, but I wondered if you had thought any further about your future after Hogwarts?”  
  
I let out an obvious sigh. I should have seen this coming – Slughorn had been bothering me for months about it, and I knew that with N.E.W.T’s fast approaching, I couldn’t avoid the conversation for much longer.  
  
But still – I was missing out on food for this?!  
  
“I haven’t, Professor,” I answered, before saying truthfully, “I just can’t figure out what I’d be suited to – I’ve not really excelled at anything in particular.”  
  
Slughorn opened his eyes and surveyed me curiously, his blonde moustache twitching on his upper lip.  
  
“I’ve been talking to your other Professors, you know. Professor Keyes thinks that your performance in Defense against the Dark Arts has increased dramatically since you’ve been attending the advanced lessons, and he’s confident that come N.E.W.T’s you have the potential to obtain an ‘O’ even,”  
  
Slughorns voice was approving, though I couldn’t hide my shock at the news. I was so used to thinking that the teachers of Hogwarts were all so daft and unaware that I never thought they would see that kind of potential in me. To achieve an ‘Outstanding’ in any of my N.E.W.T’s was something that I had previously thought would be impossible for me, who had only hoped to achieve ‘Exceeds Expectations’ at the most.  
  
“And Professor Goodley assures me that you’ve always had a firm grasp of Arithmancy, and with a little more confidence and dedication you could excel in the subject,” Slughorn added.  
  
I, personally, had never had the patience for Arithmancy, whether out of laziness or disinterest, but felt a small rush of pride that Professor Goodley thought of me in that way.  
  
I was seriously starting to suspect lately that the Professors knew a lot more about me then they let on.  
  
It was really creepy.  
  
“And I  _know_  how very skilled you are with Potions, once you separate your mind from your many distractions,” Slughorn turned to face me fully now – a kind smile pulling on his lips. I wrinkled my nose in confusion, having no idea where he was going with this information. Slughorn, sensing my hesitation, spoke gently.  
  
“I don’t wish to hold you up any further today, so I’d like to ask you to stop by my office tomorrow morning before classes. I have something in mind that I think you’d be  _very_  suited to,”  
  
He left before I could say anymore – strolling down the gravel path that led down towards the Herbology greenhouses, before they veered off further towards Hagrids hut and the Forbidden Forest.  
  
I watched him with a furrowed brow, wondering what on earth he could possibly have in mind for me, before I shook the thought from my head and carried on towards the Great Hall.  
  
Because I knew, that of all things, I’d have to be in a resilient state of mind for what I was about to encounter in there.  
  
Merlin save me.  
  
“Well, well – someone snuck out early this morning,” James quipped, confirming my thoughts, as I squeezed onto the Gryffindors bench between Sirius and Xavier and shot him a dark glare.  
  
“Did you manage to successfully slink back to your own bed before anyone witnessed your walk of shame?”  
  
James let out a loud yelp of pain as Sirius kicked him under the table and I narrowed my eyes at the messy-haired prat, throwing him an obscene hand gesture. I leant closer to Sirius’ shoulder and whispered low enough so Isobel wouldn’t overhear.  
  
“Be careful of the girls – they’re trying to get information on last night,”  
  
“What kind of information?” Sirius asked, his face mere inches from mine. I had to force myself to look away before I was tempted to kiss him right then and there over our breakfast, and I could feel my face heating.  
  
Godric, he looked good with wet hair.  
  
“The  _sexual_  kind,” I said breathily, before pulling away and stealing a cherry tomato from Remus’ plate with a cheeky wink.  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows and his eyes scanned over the area where the girls were seated on the other side of Xavier, along with Max and Oliver.   
  
“Duly noted,” He said, his grin showing a flash of white teeth.  
  
Xavier shifted beside me, before enquiring cheekily through a mouth full of scrambled egg.  
  
“Something you want to tell us, Alex?” He raised his eyebrows and I elbowed him in the arm, feeling a burst of satisfaction when he started spluttering and choking on his eggs.  
  
Nosey prat.  
  
“So, what’s everyones plans for today?” I addressed the group in an attempt to sway the conversation – thumping Xavier on the back so he didn’t choke to death.  
  
James let out a dramatic sigh.  
  
“Quidditch practice – we have to train our new Beater, quickly.”  
  
I raised my eyebrows in concern and peeked past Sirius to question James.  
  
“What happened to Colin?”  
  
“His family left the country,” Sirius noted in a gruff voice before his best friend could answer, “They didn’t tell anyone where they were going. They just pulled Colin out of Hogwarts, and left.”  
  
I stopped for a moment, stunned by the information, before I thought of how Xaviers’ friend, Jeremy Colbert, had also met the same fate.  
  
“Do you think this will start happening to more students?”   
  
“I think it’s smart,” James answered with a nod, “Things are getting worse – it’s only a matter of time before people start realising that they’re not safe here.”  
  
“Way to stay positive, Prongs,” Remus interjected sharply from across the table, his voice icy with sarcasm. James shrugged his shoulders in innocence.  
  
“I’m just being realistic, Moony,”   
  
I tuned out the boys bickering and glazed over the spread of food in front of me. I had been starving when we left the dorm this morning, but now my stomach churned unpleasantly – I didn’t think I could eat a single bite.  
  
I glanced at the girls, who were talking amongst themselves with the Ravenclaws, before I realised that Xavier’s mood had turned dramatically – his eyes downcast as he moved his food around his plate with a fork.  
  
I gave him a small nudge.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
He stopped and spoke in a strangled voice.  
  
“My parents have gone, too. They left for New York three days ago,”  
  
I felt Sirius stiffen beside me, but I was too busy staring at Xavier in complete and utter horror to notice much else. Xavier shrugged sadly.  
  
“My Mum’s a Muggle, as you know. And my older brother is on a work transfer, he has a place all set up in the city. I was supposed to go with them, but I refused. As you can guess, they’re not too happy with my decision,”  
  
My heart dropped as I reached out for Xavier – this boy who in such a short space of time had become one of my very best friends. I had to find a way to help him somehow, but was at a loss for what I could possibly say or do to make him feel even the tiniest bit happier.  
  
I rested my hand on his arm and felt all of the pain and worry he kept inside as he looked at me with those warm, brown eyes, before he ran a hand through his hair sheepishly.  
  
“Well, I have a tactics meeting with the Team – we should get going,”  
  
He pushed himself up from the bench and indicated to Max and Oliver who rounded up the remainder of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and headed out the doors of the Great Hall together.  
  
I watched their retreating backs for a few moments before I caught the gaze of Isobel, who’s eyes were wide and terrified, and in that moment I knew her very thoughts. This war was creeping steadily closer to the people that we loved – soon, we wouldn’t be able to hide from it.   
  
I sucked in a deep breath as Sirius put a hand on my back, calming me. An uneasy hush had fallen over our group. I needed to get out of there – thankfully an escape offered itself in the form of Remus Lupin.  
  
“Pete and I had planned to work on our Patronus Charms,” Remus said after a few moments, breaking the tension.   
  
“Mind if I join you?” I asked quickly, just as Remus was swinging his long legs over the bench to leave. He flashed me a small smile and nodded  
  
I knew that I couldn’t escape the war, but I could certainly prepare myself for it – and practicing that advanced magic was the best way to do it.  
  
“Sounds great – maybe between the two of us we can whip Pete into producing something move then a wispy strand of light,”  
  
I kissed Sirius on the cheek lightly, promising to meet up with him later, before trailing out of the Great Hall with Remus and Peter – and the dread of Xavier’s story trailing out with me like a heavy cloak. An unnerving feeling was gnawing on my insides as I thought of the families who were forced to flee their homes out of sheer terror. I felt helpless – knowing that the world was not as safe as it should be.  
  
Remus, sensing my thoughts, spoke quietly.  
  
“Why do you think Xavier chose not to go with his parents?” He asked, and I let out a long sigh.  
  
“I don’t know – there could be many reasons, I think. He’s not the type of person to do something without thinking it through first,”  
  
Remus nodded and said no more as I followed him through corridors and up staircases, until when I was finally out of breath and leaning against the cold, stone wall to catch some air after the millionth set of stairs, he at last announced that we had reached our destination.  
  
Immediately I recognised where we were, and I hesitated. An outrageous tapestry of some old crackpot attempting to teach ballet to a group of trolls hung on one side of the stone corridor, and on the other…   
  
A series of questions shot off with a bang in my head. How did Remus know about the secret common room on the seventh floor? And why would he pick this, of all places, to practice magic? Surely it wasn’t big enough for that.  
  
Remus paced the corridor a few times until a door appeared – but this one was different to what I had usually found when I came here. Instead of a small, wooden door this was a grand, double entry carved of cold, hard metal.  
  
“What the hell?” I managed to breathe and Remus and Peter both turned to look at me oddly.  
  
Realisation dawned on Remus' face as he said. “Oh – we don’t usually bring anyone new here. This is the Come and Go room,”  
  
“I’ve been here before – but it didn’t look like this,”  
  
Remus pushed on the steel doors which opened to a large, empty hall inside. The floor went down a small set of stone steps all around the room, so that it looked like a pit in the middle. The room was adorned only by a handful of brass lanterns scattered over the walls, and no more.  
  
“The room takes the form of what you need most – we need a place to practice magic, and here we are,”  
  
I paced the room slowly, running my fingers over the cracks in the stone walls and across the bright lanterns, trying to decipher exactly  _how_ something like this room was possible. Until it occurred to me that when it came to the wackiness of Hogwarts, I should really stop asking questions.  
  
“Does it show up on the map?” I asked, without really thinking, and turned to Remus and Peter, who stopped in their tracks at the question. Peter’s eyes shifted unsteadily.  
  
“What map? Remus enquired cautiously.  
  
I rolled my eyes lightly. “Sirius showed me,”  
  
Remus breathed easy again. “He… wow. He must  _really_  like you,”  
  
“Apparently he loves me,” I smirked darkly, and it was Remus’ turn to roll his eyes, though he smiled warmly.  
  
“It doesn’t show on the map. I think because it’s constantly changing form, and when it’s not in use it somehow doesn’t exist,”  
  
I continued inspecting the room as Remus got Peter set up with practicing his Patronus charm. I didn’t know what I was looking for, exactly – some sort of loophole, perhaps? Or something to indicate  _how_ exactly this room got its power. After a while of finding nothing, however, I grew weary. And when Remus sat beside me on one of the stone steps, another thought flittered to the surface of my mind.  
  
“Remus, I got another letter yesterday,” I confessed to him, before telling him the contents and everything that Logan Dwerryhouse had told me about Dumbledore’s visitors, including my conversation with the Headmaster afterwards.  
  
Remus studied me curiously when I had finished explaining. “So you think that ‘A’ and ‘F’ relate to the names of these brothers?”  
  
I shrugged.  
  
“I have no idea who these people are, or what they want from me, in all honesty.”  
  
He thought for a moment as he turned his gaze on Peter, who was still struggling with his wand in the middle of the room.  
  
“Well – Wormy,  _no_ , you’re waving your wand in the wrong direction! For Godric’s sake…”  
  
I waited for Remus to finish correcting Peter’s wand movement before he returned to the step.  
  
“It all sounds a bit weird, but I trust Dumbledore. If he thinks you should go, then maybe you have nothing to worry about. Besides, Sirius will be there with you, won’t he?”  
  
I flushed slightly. “I don’t know – we haven’t talked about it,”  
  
Remus raised his fair eyebrows, amused.  
  
“You’re going to a Ball and you haven’t asked Sirius to be your date?”  
  
I shrugged non-committedly and he chuckled lowly  
  
“Well, James will be there anyway, with his parents. I know the two of you don’t exactly get along, but if there’s anything you need, he’ll be there,”  
  
I snorted. “I doubt it,”  
  
“You shouldn’t,” Remus said, “Sirius and I obviously think incredibly highly of you – James will see it eventually, and maybe you’ll find something worthy in him too,”  
  
I chewed on my lip in thought, knowing that it must take a toll on Sirius to have his best mate and, well,  _me_ , constantly at each other’s throats, but what else could I do when James-idiot-Potter was constantly acting like the world’s biggest moron.  
  
 “Have you told Sirius about the letter?” Remus asked, interrupting my thoughts.  
  
“No. I don’t want to worry him,”  
  
He laughed, “Do the two of you talk about anything?” And then he made a face, “Actually, don’t answer that.”  
  
I chuckled and hit him in the shoulder playfully. “Of course we do! I’ve just been distracted with the thought of meeting whoever is sending me these notes. I haven’t thought about a date for the ball, or what dress I’m going to wear, or even the fact that I’m going to be home for the first time in almost two years,”  
  
Something strange must have shown on my face, because Remus grasped my hand.  
  
“It will be okay, you know,”  
  
I smiled at him gratefully, and as he released his grip on my hand we both went back to silently watching Peter. After observing the small boy for a minute or so I felt a surge of pity towards him as he circled his wand through the air, over and over, never giving up – I had to do something to help.  
  
“Why does Peter have so much trouble with his Patronus?” I asked Remus, my voice hushed so as not to break Peter’s concentration.  
  
Remus rubbed the back of his neck in thought before answering, and I could hear a thread of weariness in his low voice.  
  
“The Patronus Charm is difficult magic – many Witches and Wizards older than us can’t produce a fully-formed Patronus, and those that can spend a long time learning how to. You have to have felt true happiness to be able to even stand a chance,”  
  
My gaze returned to Peter and I rolled over that thought in my mind.  
  
“He’s had a rather lonely life, I think,” Remus added after I had made no move to continue the conversation. “He’s close with his Mum, but he doesn’t connect with people easily. I understand how that feels – so I try my best with him,”  
  
I felt a sharp stab of pain in my stomach. My happiest thoughts were of my home, and I supposed that I was lucky to have experienced that love and safety in my younger life. Even if I had trampled it to dust now, I was determined to have it back.  
  
I pushed myself up from the step. Peter eyed me a little apprehensively as I approached him – his blue eyes, unlike the solid sapphire of my own – were pale and watery, like rain.  
  
“Mind if I try?” I asked him, and he moved aside to let me take centre stage. I collected my thoughts with a deep breath until I held my happiest memories of home in my mind, and circled my wand in the air in front of me.  
  
“ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” Just like the last time I had tried, a silver rush of energy sprang from the tip of my wand and the ghostly fox darted in circles around the room. I turned to Peter, who was watching my Patronus glide around the room with wide eyes, and said to him.  
  
“Try to really emphasise the letters, like ‘ _ex-pecto’_ , not ‘ _es-pecto’.”_  
  
“Okay, I’ll try,” Peter said, a little nervously as he raised his wand and tried again. This time, however, instead of mere wisps of light emitting from the end of his wand, a small, silver cloud floated around in the air in front of him.  
  
“Much better,” I smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, “Keep practicing, Peter – you’ll get it eventually.”  
  
Peter looked genuinely pleased with his efforts as Remus clapped his hands in congratulations and strolled over to the two of us.  
  
“Well done, Wormy!”  
  
“Thanks,” Peter said with a crooked smile, holding his wand in between his two hands in front of him, before turning to me and saying, “I didn’t know that Slytherins could be kind.”  
  
I stopped suddenly. It was an odd thing to say, but I rolled the sentence over in my mind. I had never been called  _kind_  before. Even when I was younger, before Hogwarts, I had been selfish – dragging Serenity into all sorts of crazy schemes, whether she wanted to participate or not. Always wanting to be faster and better then everyone else. My sister had always been content to sit back and let me have my glory – to her, it didn’t matter.   
  
“The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin, you know,” Peter blurted out, his face turning a deep shade of red. Remus stiffened behind me. “I’ve never told anyone that. I was embarrassed… but, I don’t mind so much now.”  
  
Peter went back to practicing and I turned my head to Remus who was blinking at his friend in utter confusion.  
  
“That was…different,” He said in a voice thick with amusement, and I agreed with a nod of my head.   
  
My Patronus was still floating nearby and I watched it for a few moments more, admiring its large ears, its sharp eyes, its graceful agility.   
  
“You know, a Patronus says a lot about a person, and yours is… interesting.” Remus said lowly. I raised an eyebrow at him, not sure whether he assumed it good or bad.  
  
“How so?”  
  
“The fox is the hounds natural enemy,” Remus shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants and kicked at a crack in the floor, “And Sirius, well, his Patronus is…”  
  
“Is a dog. I get it,” I said dryly, with a wave of my hand. “I guess we’ve defied all the odds then, hmm?”  
  
Remus smiled softly.  
  
“It does suit you well, you know,”  
  
“What do you mean?” The fox came closer, slinking around Remus’ legs with a certain affection, and he smiled down at it.   
  
“Well, the fox is known for its adaptability. A lot like you, don’t you think? Given everything that you’ve been through this year,”  
  
I took the compliment with a shrug of my shoulders before laughing under my breath and crouching to let the fox nuzzle it’s nose against my hand. It felt cold, and strange – but also kind of wonderful.  
  
“They’re also known for their deceitfulness but we’re not going to lay that trait out in the open, are we?”  
  
Remus acknowledged the statement with a cocked head and a half-smile on his full lips.  
  
“A certain amount of cunning will do you well,”  
  
I returned his smile and thought on his observation of my Patronus before I sent it over to dash around Peter’s legs, hoping to draw some inspiration from him. I turned back to Remus.  
  
“You know, if you had told me a year ago that Remus Lupin would become one of my closest friends and I’d be dating Sirius Black – I would’ve hexed you halfway to Hampshire for even thinking it,”  
  
Remus stopped and looked at me curiously.  
  
“You really think of me that way?”  
  
“Of course”  
  
He smiled at me gratefully and I thought about what Severus had told me.  
  
 _If you only_ knew _how dangerous they are. Lupin, especially, he’s–_  
  
Sirius refused to shed any information on the statement, but I knew – I  _knew_  – from the way he had reacted that there was something he wasn’t saying. What was it that he was hiding from me?  
  
 _Some secrets are not mine to tell._  
  
“Remus, I wanted to ask you something,” I started lowly, trying to find the right words. “There was something I heard, about…”  
  
I wanted desperately to ask him the question that had been rolling around in my head for the past week, but the words were caught before they could leave my tongue.  
  
 _Why does Severus think you’re dangerous?_  
  
I studied my friend for a moment. He wasn’t particularly striking as looks go, not compared to Sirius and James, yet he had a handsomeness about him. His eyes were kind and his smile gentle – and he could be fierce when the occasion called for it.  
  
But as I looked into his eyes – although the three scarred lines that ran across his face gave him a certain wild edge – he certainly didn’t seem dangerous to me. Maybe Severus had misunderstood… Or maybe he didn’t really understand as much as he thought he did.   
  
I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  
  
“About Isobel,” I offered lamely, trying to cover my mistake. “I’m sure she’d throttle me if she knew I said anything, but I think she quite fancies you.”  
  
I wasn’t quite sure, but I thought a wave of sadness washed over Remus’ features before he said.  
  
“Isobel’s great – I like her a lot, but…”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“It’s nothing,”  
  
I wanted to ask more, but I was interrupted by the opening of the door and Sirius strolling through the room, a sheepish expression playing on his handsome features. He grinned broadly when he approached the pair of us and pulled me into a constricting hug, raining kisses down on the side of my face and neck. Remus made a gagging noise and paced backwards a few steps and I giggled and fought to escape Sirius’ grasp, then finally when I was free I asked.  
  
“What happened to practice?”  
  
Sirius ran a hand through his dark hair and looked at the ground, biting his bottom lip nervously.  
  
“Slight problem – the new guy kind of got knocked in the face by a Bludger,”  
  
Remus and I looked in him in simultaneous horror, and Sirius shrugged in innocence.  
  
“How, may I ask, did that happen?” Remus tested.  
  
“I may have been too hard on him,” Sirius admitted with a pained expression. "James is taking him to the Hospital Wing."  
  
Remus shook his head in mock disappointment but I merely grabbed Sirius’ arm and started to pull him out towards where Peter was still practicing his Patronus in the centre of the floor – the silvery cloud becoming more defined with each effort he put in. My own Patronus darted away from Peter to follow the two of us instead, and Sirius eyed it with interest.  
  
“Well, since you’re here, how about helping me practice my wandless magic?” I suggested, and Sirius grinned darkly and pulled his wand from his pocket, before brandishing it in my direction.  
  
“I hope you know that just because you’re my girlfriend, doesn’t mean that I’m going to go easy on you,” He drawled, and I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
“There goes that word again.”  
  
He pouted. “If you’d rather I stop saying it, little fox, I will – but just know that it would make me  _terribly_  unhappy,”  
  
I stopped and put my hands against his chest, letting him wrap his arms around my waist and draw me into him.  
  
“Well, we can’t have that can we?”  
  
He supressed a smile, trying to remain serious, and failing miserably.  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
I pulled away, taking a few steps backwards and shot him a teasing grin. I didn’t know what I was being so stupid about, really. I knew that I didn’t have to be afraid when I was with him.  
  
I loved Sirius. I wanted us to be together. And it was the thought of that that made me bite my lip and say honestly.   
  
“Whatever makes you happy, Mr Black.”


End file.
